Stop blaming Abhimanyu/ stop the hate - Page 5

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Your post needs hundred trigger warnings

Have you considered that she might not have wished to revisit her traumatic past time and time again. She made a literal stranger like Abhinav the legal guardian of her son rather than seek help from her "rich family." The reason the past never came up between was parenthood became the first foundation stone of their equation and friendship later. Not everyone wishes to revisit their trauma every time they start something new.

Had she been living in the past, she'd never have made Abhinav the father of her son.

Just because she stopped singing and never shared it with Abhinav doesn't mean anything lol

There was a soft skill I was learning that I loved and my brain has consciously made an effort to forget it as a very abusive, traumatising person was associated with it. I do not go about narrating my dukhda about this everytime I make a new friend.

Also, it doesn't really matter if she loves abhi (sje has said she doesn't but once again we will believe the antaryami ml who's badhering her that she indeed loves him par koi na.) People can a) have complicated feelings for someone toxic b) love more than one person.

Committment matters, consent matters, intent matters.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

yes she may not want to but she has not completely revealed herself to nav yet. For nav she is khadoos gussail etc but in actual she never was like that which shows how much she still living in her past.

tbh i have problem with that only. She is well educated she had a good singing career. She could have taken help for some days and then she could have built her career and shown birlas that women does not need a man to survive. I will still understand if she needs time in initial days as she left everything. But she chose to marry him only because of abhir as its impossible for her to forget abhi in 6 months. And why does abhir need a father. There are lakhs of women who single handedly taking care of her kids post coming out of abusive marriage. I hate this part every itv when they show women needs a papa for her kid than showing her strong and independent.

There were lot of societys who will help women in case of these kinds of situation but yrkkh showed that women is nothing without a man. 🙃

Also, why do you think the simpering, crying Akshu was her true self and the khadoos gussail Akshu is fake?

People invariably change with age and trauma lol

True.. she never allowed Nav into her world. There might be many moments in those six years where she can share about her past, her family, her passion for music.. but everything she buried within herself.. I always feel she is unworthy to hav Nav at her side if he is really a good man.

Sometimes I feel, since there is no physical intimacy or love between from her side, what would have Ak done if Nav developed feelings for some other woman and want to marry her to get rid of this fake marriage.. will she allow him? If so what will she tell Abhir? And what will she do after he leaves?? Go back to Abhi/lead a single life? Many sympathise with her situation I just can’t understand how she could take this step. I feel like shaking her, look into her eyes and give some gyaan by saying.. Either have guts to stay single or marry the person whom you are living with or go back to your family/husband by forgiving them. Don’t hang in between” 😆

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Also, why do you think the simpering, crying Akshu was her true self and the khadoos gussail Akshu is fake?

People invariably change with age and trauma lol

Originally posted by: Susi26

True.. she never allowed Nav into her world. There might be many moments in those six years where she can share about her past, her family, her passion for music.. but everything she buried within herself.. I always feel she is unworthy to hav Nav at her side if he is really a good man.

Sometimes I feel, since there is no physical intimacy or love between from her side, what would have Ak done if Nav developed feelings for some other woman and want to marry her to get rid of this fake marriage.. will she allow him? If so what will she tell Abhir? And what will she do after he leaves?? Go back to Abhi/lead a single life? Many sympathise with her situation I just can’t understand how she could take this step. I feel like shaking her, look into her eyes and give some gyaan by saying.. Either have guts to stay single or marry the person whom you are living with or go back to your family/husband by forgiving them. Don’t hang in between” 😆

I do not personally like ppl who has not moved on from their ex taking decisions like marrying without completely accepting whole heartedly the new relation as that would be injustice to ppl like nav

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

i am not sure about your situation but akshu's character was living with music she did not learnt music for abhimanyu. She should have thought about abhir too. Her talent can give her more money which can be utilized for abhir's education. We have to think rationally sometimes. For eg if i fell in love in my work place because of my job if i met a guy because of that and he turned abusive i can not leave my job right. For akshu music was her job she was therapist and that's the only thing she is good at other than dancing. She may sell jam but half the jams she just donates. She can not leave her job and talent for some one just because they hurt her as some day she has to give a good life for abhir which they may not be able afford with current situation.

Lord I can say Abhi doesn't know her because she did not share when she developed a passion for jam-making with him lol.

Like I said your comments on trauma are very fickle and need trigger warnings

She had a miscarriage and was accused of causing the death of a loved one because of her association with music; if singing is one of her triggers now, it doesn't mean she hasn't moved on with her life.

That's literally not how PTSD or triggers work.

Saying that x was someone's life in early 20s so it must be their 'life' till death is a bit willfully ignorant.

Interests, passions, temperaments change lol.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

because when she was in mimis house she was back to her true self. She was laughing telling them stories so why her khadoos self is shown only to abhinav 🙂

Jesus, so she's supposed to fight with her 100 y/o great-grandmother, and ageing grandparents because she fights with the man she lives with 24/7? Lol what?

And her khadoos angry self shone through everytime she took a stand for Abhinav against Kairav or even Manjari. The older Akshu would have let everyone walk over her then weeped about it

And even if she still loves Abhimanyu Birla; that crass man doesn't get to override her consent. She is an adult woman who can think for herself. She literally said no so that should be the end of it

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Lord I can say Abhi doesn't know her because she did not share when she developed a passion for jam-making with him lol.

Like I said your comments on trauma are very fickle and need trigger warnings

She had a miscarriage and was accused of causing the death of a loved one because of her association with music; if singing is one of her triggers now, it doesn't mean she hasn't moved on with her life.

That's literally not how PTSD or triggers work.

Saying that x was someone's life in early 20s so it must be their 'life' till death is a bit willfully ignorant.

Interests, passions, temperaments change lol.

If she has really not moved on from past 6 years then she may never be able to move on in future too. It would have been wise decision if she stayed single and lead her life like a queen.

I do not want demean anyone but i personally feel women should not let her past control her. They should not think okay i was in this type of relation my life is gone. Why is so important for women to just think about some one who hardly cared for her.

Sorry i might be rude but i kind of belong to a personality type which is not emotional and i do not think too emotionally nor i understand why ppl think emotionally 😄

The only time i get emotional is when i loose my pet or for ppl very close to me(family). But I cant understand other emotions.😄

Originally posted by: Deltablues

Jesus, so she's supposed to fight with her 100 y/o great-grandmother, and ageing grandparents because she fights with the man she lives with 24/7? Lol what?

And her khadoos angry self shone through everytime she took a stand for Abhinav against Kairav or even Manjari. The older Akshu would have let everyone walk over her then weeped about it

And even if she still loves Abhimanyu Birla; that crass man doesn't get to override her consent. She is an adult woman who can think for herself. She literally said no so that should be the end of it

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

i am not even talking about abhimanyu nor i am saying she should fight. I am only saying the happiness she had when she met her real family was very much evident it was missing in her kasauli yes she used to laugh with abhir. But not with abhinav. That's my point.

Okay, cool. I don't agree but for the sake of it. When she met Abhimanyu in Kasauli she wasn't jumping with glee.

Even if we take Abhinav out of the picture, she did not seek her 'real family' to help her raise her child after divorce. She sought a nobody to father her child; but again we will belittle an adult woman's mental faculties and say that she was an idiot to purposefully, literally exclude her 'real family who make her happy' from her life for the past six years.

By your logic, maybe she doesn't even love Abhir because she hasn't shown him her 'real self', and he literally knew nothing about his own mother's family.

Or maybe, it is easy to be cheerful with your problematic family on a small trip when you have the assurance of being able to go back to your independent life.