A conversation finally🙏🏻 - Page 13

Originally posted by: Nja91

I don't think Sai is justifying it.

I do think that she is recognizing that V is capable of losing control but she focuses right now due to circumstances on only his positives, his hurt/pain amd wants to placate him. But that does not mean she is justifying him being violent or locking her. She will retaliate if he does anything wrong just like she has before. Shes not going to bow down an accept it.

Exactly this is what I am talking about. EVen for placating him , I cant imagine the Sai who questioned manhandling saying all this. Its not funny when they make her funnily say, mujhe lock kar denge, just in order to placate him.

This is why I say in her mind, she has normalized it. She may or may not retaliate, depending on her sehensheelta.. But then again the sehensheelta has been broadened, now. Daayre badh gaye hain. Sehensheelta ki hadd badh gayi hai.

In one year she has reached this stage of wanting to step out of the house at any sign of abuse, to choosing between which abuse to fight against.

Well shes in love with him despite everything so obviously daayre badh gaye hai. When she was not in love or attached to him like she is now, she was able to literally tear him apart. Now she makes her point but doesn't rip him to shreds. Thats coz she is still reeling from her own guilt for not trusting him or giving him more time. Placating him isnt the same thing as taking his unacceptable shit lying down. The way she refers to his behavior, in my mind, is still a taunt from time to time to remind V that she has forgiven and looked past his mistakes trying to focus on evolving together.

Unfortunately her attachment and love for him is not going to go away. She has no one to fall back on apart from him. Pullu maybe a mentor but he has not asked her to leave. He has asked her to stay and fight.

I Might be one idealistic there, but the love or no love, any kind of abuse k liye daayre badhne nahi chaiye. She was abused mercilessly when she came back to Chavans & in her guilt she calls it their gussa. The same person who knows Gussa cannot allow people giving death threats.. But then we can agree to disagree there, Neerja. 😊

Seeing her situation and feelings, she was conveying to him that she is there for him in whatever way he wants her! Although it is a wrong choice of words. They wanted to show her complete surrender in love. They wanted to also show, may be she will tell something that irks virat. And they showed this 😭.

It doesn’t mean that she thinks virat is capable of hitting her nor she will be ok if he hits her!
May be if they had been in a normal phase now, she would have hugged him or comforted him to relieve his anger! Now She didn’t know what to say:

But the writers should have chosen better words, that will show her acceptance and still irritate virat that she is still not understanding him. But how?🤔

I really can’t make anything out of that one dialogue - Sai saying aap mujhe thapad Marna chahtae hain…however seems like it’s a hot topic! I don’t feel that Sai is OK with abuse and asking for it …that was not what I got out of it!

isn’t it from the beginning that Sai thinks Virat’s anger has the capability to hurt her. She knows his anger! Although sometimes Virat gives reactions as if he is so confident he is not capable of hurting any woman. There was one time where Sai returns from pakhi home and Virat Says mera danda bolta hai…. Then Sai challenges him, he says you don’t understand me I would never hurt a woman and I know my boundaries! Clearly we all know where his anger can lead.

He may not have meant to hurt her at that moment and Sai overreacts on his reactions (fist) But then he loses control especially with Sai! So it’s a catch 22 situation!

You know there are certain traits of Virat like being jovial and playful which is reserved for Sai; same thing for his extreme anger also reserved for Sai! Woh pati patni ka mamla hai🤣. Ham nah hi bole toh acha hai!

Seriously it definitely didn’t mean that Sai was OK with abuse. All I thought was she trying to tell him to get all his anger out once and for all since he feels Sai has hurt his feelings so much. He said it right that zindagi bhar ga dard diya hai.

My point is that she has figured out a system of dealing with it which is midway between the Ashwini style of take all the crap without retaliation and the Shivani style of escapism by speaking up but not actually doing anything to fix things. She has expanded her daayra for seeing the positives but not for the abusive acts themselves. She will still retaliate if anyone does anything unacceptable but she may choose to do it in a different manner than before. Earlier she was a wild bull in her approach, now shes more calculative and shrewd. To me the aspect of how a person like Sai is evolving while still staying true to her ideals but finding different ways of dealing with crap is what is interesting and also very real.

What does a person do when they fall in love with a flawed person. Its easy to just up and leave- but she doesn't have that option because of the lack of any support, financial/emotional security, stability. So she is figuring out how to navigate the choppy waters with least collateral damage to her own self respect/self esteem.

Originally posted by: Nja91

My point is that she has figured out a system of dealing with it which is midway between the Ashwini style of take all the crap without retaliation and the Shivani style of escapism by speaking up but not actually doing anything to fix things. She has expanded her daayra for seeing the positives but not for the abusive acts themselves. She will still retaliate if anyone does anything unacceptable but she may choose to do it in a different manner than before. Earlier she was a wild bull in her approach, now shes more calculative and shrewd. To me the aspect of how a person like Sai is evolving while still staying true to her ideals but finding different ways of dealing with crap is what is interesting and also very real.

What does a person do when they fall in love with a flawed person. Its easy to just up and leave- but she doesn't have that option because of the lack of any support, financial/emotional security, stability. So she is figuring out how to navigate the choppy waters with least collateral damage to her own self respect/self esteem.

Yes I get it, she wants to stay with him and thats where I become and idealist. 😊

But then I think Writers can tone it down there and not go beyond limits. Because I am sure they still want both Sai and Virat to appear as good people, meant for each other even now, so toning down would be better.

Originally posted by: asmi_ekaa

In one year she has reached this stage of wanting to step out of the house at any sign of abuse, to choosing between which abuse to fight against.

Yes. And thats cause her prior approach didnt work either. She somehow kept ending back with V and Chavannis and neither did these people tone down/change their approach either. They continue their tirade against her. They continue the Sai blame and bashing because shes an easy target. And she's finding different ways of dealing with it. Shes made her peace with the fact that she's kinda stuck with them. Now she needs to pick her battles.

Originally posted by: Nja91

Yes. And thats cause her prior approach didnt work either. She somehow kept ending back with V and Chavannis and neither did these people tone down/change their approach either. They continue their tirade against her. They continue the Sai blame and bashing because shes an easy target. And she's finding different ways of dealing with it. Shes made her peace with the fact that she's kinda stuck with them. Now she needs to pick her battles.

The Reality of it all scares me, the story of so many women out there.

Exactly. And now that shes stuck with them- what can she do to make things better for herself and for others and the next generation.