FF#1: A love to kill - Page 5

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Autumn09 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: masked


Ultimately the fate of this fascinating FF lies on your hands.


Mallika's personality is as different as chalk and cheese from Pakhi. Hope they are revealed as Twin sisters and if not then it would make for an interesting duel between the two doppelgangers for Agasthya's Love.


As far as Agasthya is concerned let's see what are his real plans? Is he just obsessive or is it just a facade for his long term plans? Is he the secret Mastermind?


Mallika perhaps might have to drop or change her own revenge plans like Bani was forced to do so in case of Veer when she saw that the enemy she hated turned out to be her biggest Protector/Shield?


If Agasthya continues protecting Mallika like it was shown in the previous chapter she might start to really like the man.


Actually both Mallika and Paakhi look different, so they cannot be twins. But Paakhi's obsession for Agasthya would be a good foil to Mallika's revenge. I myself am confused about Agasthya whether to make him a villain or a grey shaded character.

925059 thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: Autumn09


Actually both Mallika and Paakhi look different, so they cannot be twins. But Paakhi's obsession for Agasthya would be a good foil to Mallika's revenge. I myself am confused about Agasthya whether to make him a villain or a grey shaded character.

You can make Agastya a grey shaded character. If he has some redeeming qualities I think the readers will be able to connect to his character.

Autumn09 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#43

Chapter 5


Inside a godown

Ishaan was at the end of his wits when he couldn't make Paakhi eat food even after three days.

"Bas karo Paakhi," Ishaan shouted, "Kab tak khud ko bhookha rakhogi?" Finally Ishaan composed himself and said softly, "Dekho Paakhi. Meri tumse koi dushmani nahi hai aur main nahi chahta Agasthya aur uske baap ki kartooton ki sazaa kisi begunaah ko mile. Please zid chhor do aur khaana khaa lo."

When Ishaan brought the food plate near Paakhi and removed the cloth from her eyes, "Paakhi, Agasthya to ye tak nahi pehchaan paaya ki uske saamne jo hai vo asli Paakhi nahi koi aur hai. Uske pyaar me khud ko fanaa karne se kya milega tumhe?"

"Bandhe haathon se main khaana kaise khaoon?" Paakhi said sweetly, "Tum apne haathon se ye khaana khilaaoge mujhe?"

Ishaan tore a piece of roti and with sabzi, as he put the morsel near Paakhi, he took a sharp breath and then put the morsel back in the food plate and said, "Main tumhare haath khol raha hoon magar dhyaan rahe koi hoshiyari nahi."

Ishaan untied her hands and Paakhi started eating. Hiding from Ishaan's gaze, she unclasped the necklace hanging across her neck and then tried to choke Ishaan with it. On being unsuccessful, she aimed at Ishaan's belly and kicked him real hard. Finally as she tied Ishaan with his mouth gagged with a cloth and blindfolded, someone hit her head from the back and after untying Ishaan tied her back.

After coughing, Ishaan asked, "Tumhe yahaan kaise pahunchi? Ye address kaise Mila tumhe?"

Mallika said, "Tumhe apni car ka peecha karte Hui motorbike nahi dikhaai thi kya? Obviously, jab tumhe itni akal nahi hai ki kabhi jise kidnap kiya ho uske haath nahi free karne chahiye to ye sab tumne kahaan observe Kiya hoga?"

Ishaan pouted, "Jab tum yahin thi poore time jab ye Paakhi mera band baja rahi thi, to tumne pehle meri help kyon nahi ki?"

Finally Mallika smiled, "Vo isliye Doctor sahab, ki jo aap mujhse itni cheezein chupaate hain, mujh jaisi bar dancer ko ek use and throw Mohra samajhte hain to uski thodi punishment tumhe bhi mile."

"Tum use and throw nahi ho, Mallika," Ishaan said, "Mere liye to bilkul nahi."

Mallika put a finger on Ishaan's lips and said, "Shh...bahut bolte hain aap doctor sahab."

And finally fishing a scarf from her purse, Mallika wiped the blood near Ishaan's lips. Ishaan shivered at the tenderness he was getting from someone other than his mother whom he lost because of Agasthya's father.

Mallika didn't know why she felt so protective towards Ishaan. He thought he was using her and she was using him. That was the only relationship between them. Mallika didn't know from where in her heart the softness for him was flowing. However she wanted to wipe away every emotion except hate and revenge from her heart, there was still some of her sister left in her. But she can't feel even a bit of compassion for anyone, especially a man. She must focus on only one thing. Mallika didn't realize when Ishaan fell on her lap. In between his sleep, Ishaan began trembling and moaning, " Ma, ma...kahaan le jaa rahe ho meri maa ko? Please unhe chhorr do." Ishaan was growing more restless.

"Shh...sab theek h Ishaan. Sab theek hai," Pakhi hushed and caressed Ishaan's hair. She started singing the lullaby her sister used to sing in childhood whenever she was afraid of dark. When Ishaan was deep asleep, his head still in Mallika's lap, Mallika placed a soft kiss on his forehead.


https://youtu.be/x6OV1G9-YKM

Autumn09 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: Shirsha90

You can make Agastya a grey shaded character. If he has some redeeming qualities I think the readers will be able to connect to his character.


Thanks a lot. I'll make each character in this FF grey shaded so that whatever happens in the end, readers will feel sad for the fate of every character.

Autumn09 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#45

Would appreciate your feedback please

Autumn09 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#46

Would appreciate your feedback please....

thunderbird thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: Autumn09

Would appreciate your feedback please

The storyy is really good and interesting🙌🙌

loving it!! i dont have any suggestions 😄

Autumn09 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: thunderbird

The storyy is really good and interesting🙌🙌

loving it!! i dont have any suggestions 😄


Thanks a lot ☺️

Autumn09 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#49

Would appreciate your feedback please

sumz_d thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago
#50

Hmmmm very intriguing 😲


who will end up with who? 😆

Such confusing and complex characters

Edited by sumz_d - 4 years ago

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