Mithai মিঠাই Discussions # 4 " চিরোদিনি তুমি যে আমার আমরা অমর সঙ্গী " - Page 12

Originally posted by: mishti_unicorn

One of the reasons I really love this forum is because we're always able to dissect the episodes down, separating the wheat from the chaff, and this ongoing discussion is no exception.

While the story is amusing and heart-warming, it does have its fair share of bothersome loose ends. And the list only seems to be growing.

Couldn't agree more. We all love this show here, but also acknowledge there are some major loopholes in plots sometimes.

Yes Sid has now "changed" for the better, mingling with his family members and understanding them better. But if you come to think of it, his interaction with Mithai has grown only commensurately with that of his family. He maybe looks at Mithai like any other family member, caring for her the same way. Has there been any real growth in the relationship? I doubt. Yes, if Mithai hypothetically leaves, he will miss her. But there is a difference between missing someone's presence and actually being in love with them.

I really think Sid is falling for mithai, but he himself is not aware. There is no development in the relationship in the husband-wife sense, but the emotional connection has grown a lot more.

I would say he saw mithai as family during the jail sequence or before that in the office party desserts catering track. But since he has accepted the biye, he has been trying to give mithai the dorja of being his bou. We have to remember that sid has been forced into this marriage by Dadai's blackmail, so all this is very difficult for him too. Sadly, the family will never understand that.

Secondly, as has been pointed out, the plot now mostly revolves around not-so-subtly glorifying "girls==ginnis" which I find rather infuriating. I may sound rude in saying so, and please excuse me for that, but I don't see Sandy, Rajib and Ratul doing much apart from bursting into peals of laughter periodically. When the women of the house toil in the kitchen trying to meet the demands of the men, it wouldn't take much for these men to join them, but it would set an encouraging precedent.

Do not get me started on my Rajib rant. What does the guy do? Does he have no job? Full day, he is at sosur bari doing khilli. He keeps talking about sonsar dhormo. But what does he do for his sonsar? Din er por din je office jacche na, salary na ele bari r khorcha cholbe ki kore?

Ratul is supposed to be applying for PHD in foreign land. Shouldn't he be drowning in studies and exam prep? At least, they have taken the pain to explain us that Sandy is currently without a job.

When Sid decided to serve the ladies the other day, Rajib and some others just stood there, gaping like Sid had done a Nobel-prize worthy act. Number 1, why didn't they join Sid and number 2, why was this a one time affair? It was indeed commendable that Sid had the sense to do this, but this behaviour must not be glorified, rather, normalized. Seating at the dining table must be hunger based, not gender based. Women are humans too and they too feel hungry. They shouldn't have to wait until an entire lot of ungrateful men finish, before they get to eat the remnants. I strongly believe that applauding something like this, which is supposed to be normal anyway, tends to propel the ego in some men, making them even more entitled.

The Modak family is highly patriarchal, bordering on the toxic side. The women have no agency in this family and they are happy to be like that. One of the reasons they love mithai so much is she full day keeps on doing seva of every person. She single-handedly takes care of tea, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and upar se, mishti business er kitchen - the family knows they have hit the jackpot. She is always praised for her cooking skills and her sobai ke ek kore rakhar quality. They don't see any other bhalo gun in her.

We all know Tess is negative. But here the family has a problem with her sleeveless blouse and zero cooking skills. No one will appreciate that the woman who always wore western clothes has now switched to wearing sarees full-time, which also is completely impractical. Even Sree started wearing sarees after biye, jeno ki biye korle por that is the only thing allowed.

And lastly, and most importantly, the careers of these women. As the story meanders towards kitchen politics, with even those who once dreamt of being successful, now serving tea and disrupting other people's office work, I see little hope.

I eagerly wait for a day where Sid (or any Modak) is pitted against Mit. I would like to see who among the Modaks' actually stand by Mit at that time. A disheartening low would be to see the saying "Kaajer bela kaaji, kaaj phurolei paaji" come true.

End of rant, thank you for reading😛

Frankly speaking, Sid is the only person who has a developed mentality in this family. He truly believes men and women deserve the same respect. Understands that women who wear western clothes or work in the office are not necessarily bad. Recognizes that women can do more than just cooking and cleaning the house. And actually motivates them to do so. These qualities make him different from his family.

But at the same time, he doesn't look down on women who are housewives because he also recognizes that's a difficult job. He himself is educated and English-speaking, but doesn't look down upon those who are not. This makes him different from Tess.

He will be glad to help Mithai do something worthwhile - education, business, or maybe even professional dancing. But the point of the matter is, mithai should also want to do these things. As sid has been saying, mithai is too engrossed in doing bouma giri.

Originally posted by: mishti_unicorn

One of the reasons I really love this forum is because we're always able to dissect the episodes down, separating the wheat from the chaff, and this ongoing discussion is no exception.

While the story is amusing and heart-warming, it does have its fair share of bothersome loose ends. And the list only seems to be growing.

Yes Sid has now "changed" for the better, mingling with his family members and understanding them better. But if you come to think of it, his interaction with Mithai has grown only commensurately with that of his family. He maybe looks at Mithai like any other family member, caring for her the same way. Has there been any real growth in the relationship? I doubt. Yes, if Mithai hypothetically leaves, he will miss her. But there is a difference between missing someone's presence and actually being in love with them.

Secondly, as has been pointed out, the plot now mostly revolves around not-so-subtly glorifying "girls==ginnis" which I find rather infuriating. I may sound rude in saying so, and please excuse me for that, but I don't see Sandy, Rajib and Ratul doing much apart from bursting into peals of laughter periodically. When the women of the house toil in the kitchen trying to meet the demands of the men, it wouldn't take much for these men to join them, but it would set an encouraging precedent.

When Sid decided to serve the ladies the other day, Rajib and some others just stood there, gaping like Sid had done a Nobel-prize worthy act. Number 1, why didn't they join Sid and number 2, why was this a one time affair? It was indeed commendable that Sid had the sense to do this, but this behaviour must not be glorified, rather, normalized. Seating at the dining table must be hunger based, not gender based. Women are humans too and they too feel hungry. They shouldn't have to wait until an entire lot of ungrateful men finish, before they get to eat the remnants. I strongly believe that applauding something like this, which is supposed to be normal anyway, tends to propel the ego in some men, making them even more entitled.

And lastly, and most importantly, the careers of these women. As the story meanders towards kitchen politics, with even those who once dreamt of being successful, now serving tea and disrupting other people's office work, I see little hope.

I eagerly wait for a day where Sid (or any Modak) is pitted against Mit. I would like to see who among the Modaks' actually stand by Mit at that time. A disheartening low would be to see the saying "Kaajer bela kaaji, kaaj phurolei paaji" come true.

End of rant, thank you for reading😛

Wonderfully put...thank you for such an insightful analysis. Pete r kotha ekdom mukhe ene felechen 👏

@bold - This is exactly what is getting my goat these days. Episodes are funny, lighthearted, etc. but where are they going with the story overall? Much as we love the other characters and their banter, the essence of the story is Sid + Mit and their growth as a couple. Their relationship seems to have plateaued off after the 2nd marriage. Mithai to prem er sagar e onek din i habu dubu khache...Sid o kichu ta return korche...kintu tarpore ki?

In an earlier post, I had mentioned that Sid has to overcome ghosts of his past to fully accept these new feelings and his love for Mit. This can only happen once the truth about Som's parentage comes out but that does not seem to be happening anytime soon.😕

@green - Objectively speaking if we look at the basic symbolism of how most of the scenes are set up these days then it is always mainly the women in the kitchen while the men are lounging in the living room or study waiting to be served something or the other. Somebody pointed out earlier that nobody has ever seen Mithai drink a cup of tea or sit down to eat on time. Small things but these details used to be carefully considered earlier and addressed.

@blue - Ye hai 100 baat ki ek baat 👍🏼This is actually what needs to happen in order for the story to move forward. Mithai right now is stuck in her "perfect bouma" identity. But will the Modak family accept her if she does something against their/Sid's wishes?

Originally posted by: Sutapasima

Today Sid kissed Mithayi’s hand for preparing the surprise dish for his birthday

His fav creamy chicken in lemon butter sauce

Wow

Mithayi deserved ,,this appreciation

you should all see tyash buri’s face

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kiss happened that too while making full eye contact with Mithai ☺️

Tyash bori will truly fall ill after this..sickness ar fake korte hobe na 🤣

Originally posted by: Esotericbird92

Kiss happened that too while making full eye contact with Mithai ☺️

Tyash bori will truly fall ill after this..sickness ar fake korte hobe na 🤣

So true .. I want her to fall ill and then Sid. care for his Boudi MoNi…. Making her sick of hearing Boudi MoNi every time 🤣🤣🤣

Originally posted by: Esotericbird92

Wonderfully put...thank you for such an insightful analysis. Pete r kotha ekdom mukhe ene felechen 👏

@bold - This is exactly what is getting my goat these days. Episodes are funny, lighthearted, etc. but where are they going with the story overall? Much as we love the other characters and their banter, the essence of the story is Sid + Mit and their growth as a couple. Their relationship seems to have plateaued off after the 2nd marriage. Mithai to prem er sagar e onek din i habu dubu khache...Sid o kichu ta return korche...kintu tarpore ki?

In an earlier post, I had mentioned that Sid has to overcome ghosts of his past to fully accept these new feelings and his love for Mit. This can only happen once the truth about Som's parentage comes out but that does not seem to be happening anytime soon.😕

@green - Objectively speaking if we look at the basic symbolism of how most of the scenes are set up these days then it is always mainly the women in the kitchen while the men are lounging in the living room or study waiting to be served something or the other. Somebody pointed out earlier that nobody has ever seen Mithai drink a cup of tea or sit down to eat on time. Small things but these details used to be carefully considered earlier and addressed.

@blue - Ye hai 100 baat ki ek baat 👍🏼This is actually what needs to happen in order for the story to move forward. Mithai right now is stuck in her "perfect bouma" identity. But will the Modak family accept her if she does something against their/Sid's wishes?

@Red - 1st of all Mithai is so involved in doing BoumaGiri that she won't even think of starting or doing something on her own.. She's Heppie working in SM now.. She even consider herself as a "Kormochaari" now .. It seems like she doesn't even remember what her + her Father's Dream was .. She doesn't even talk about starting her own business... It's only Sid who believes she can do much more n wants her to realize that.. Actually Sid n Sree are the only ones among the Modaks who believes in gender equality.. Ratul is there too but he ain't a Modak..

And as for Mithai leaving SM n starting her own business.. We know Sid actually wants it.. He doesn't even consider Mithai as a part of SM.. I will wait for Dadai's reaction then coz that man will definitely have something to say n he had already said once whether Mithai will work in SM or not will be decided by him.. SreeTul will always support SidMit in this.. Rudy too.. But there will be a HUGE drama..

Originally posted by: reshamc

One of the reasons I really love this forum is because we're always able to dissect the episodes down, separating the wheat from the chaff, and this ongoing discussion is no exception.

While the story is amusing and heart-warming, it does have its fair share of bothersome loose ends. And the list only seems to be growing.

Couldn't agree more. We all love this show here, but also acknowledge there are some major loopholes in plots sometimes.

Yes Sid has now "changed" for the better, mingling with his family members and understanding them better. But if you come to think of it, his interaction with Mithai has grown only commensurately with that of his family. He maybe looks at Mithai like any other family member, caring for her the same way. Has there been any real growth in the relationship? I doubt. Yes, if Mithai hypothetically leaves, he will miss her. But there is a difference between missing someone's presence and actually being in love with them.

I really think Sid is falling for mithai, but he himself is not aware. There is no development in the relationship in the husband-wife sense, but the emotional connection has grown a lot more.

I would say he saw mithai as family during the jail sequence or before that in the office party desserts catering track. But since he has accepted the biye, he has been trying to give mithai the dorja of being his bou. We have to remember that sid has been forced into this marriage by Dadai's blackmail, so all this is very difficult for him too. Sadly, the family will never understand that.

Secondly, as has been pointed out, the plot now mostly revolves around not-so-subtly glorifying "girls==ginnis" which I find rather infuriating. I may sound rude in saying so, and please excuse me for that, but I don't see Sandy, Rajib and Ratul doing much apart from bursting into peals of laughter periodically. When the women of the house toil in the kitchen trying to meet the demands of the men, it wouldn't take much for these men to join them, but it would set an encouraging precedent.

Do not get me started on my Rajib rant. What does the guy do? Does he have no job? Full day, he is at sosur bari doing khilli. He keeps talking about sonsar dhormo. But what does he do for his sonsar? Din er por din je office jacche na, salary na ele bari r khorcha cholbe ki kore?

Ratul is supposed to be applying for PHD in foreign land. Shouldn't he be drowning in studies and exam prep? At least, they have taken the pain to explain us that Sandy is currently without a job.

When Sid decided to serve the ladies the other day, Rajib and some others just stood there, gaping like Sid had done a Nobel-prize worthy act. Number 1, why didn't they join Sid and number 2, why was this a one time affair? It was indeed commendable that Sid had the sense to do this, but this behaviour must not be glorified, rather, normalized. Seating at the dining table must be hunger based, not gender based. Women are humans too and they too feel hungry. They shouldn't have to wait until an entire lot of ungrateful men finish, before they get to eat the remnants. I strongly believe that applauding something like this, which is supposed to be normal anyway, tends to propel the ego in some men, making them even more entitled.

The Modak family is highly patriarchal, bordering on the toxic side. The women have no agency in this family and they are happy to be like that. One of the reasons they love mithai so much is she full day keeps on doing seva of every person. She single-handedly takes care of tea, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and upar se, mishti business er kitchen - the family knows they have hit the jackpot. She is always praised for her cooking skills and her sobai ke ek kore rakhar quality. They don't see any other bhalo gun in her.

We all know Tess is negative. But here the family has a problem with her sleeveless blouse and zero cooking skills. No one will appreciate that the woman who always wore western clothes has now switched to wearing sarees full-time, which also is completely impractical. Even Sree started wearing sarees after biye, jeno ki biye korle por that is the only thing allowed.

And lastly, and most importantly, the careers of these women. As the story meanders towards kitchen politics, with even those who once dreamt of being successful, now serving tea and disrupting other people's office work, I see little hope.

I eagerly wait for a day where Sid (or any Modak) is pitted against Mit. I would like to see who among the Modaks' actually stand by Mit at that time. A disheartening low would be to see the saying "Kaajer bela kaaji, kaaj phurolei paaji" come true.

End of rant, thank you for reading

Frankly speaking, Sid is the only person who has a developed mentality in this family. He truly believes men and women deserve the same respect. Understands that women who wear western clothes or work in the office are not necessarily bad. Recognizes that women can do more than just cooking and cleaning the house. And actually motivates them to do so. These qualities make him different from his family.

But at the same time, he doesn't look down on women who are housewives because he also recognizes that's a difficult job. He himself is educated and English-speaking, but doesn't look down upon those who are not. This makes him different from Tess.

He will be glad to help Mithai do something worthwhile - education, business, or maybe even professional dancing. But the point of the matter is, mithai should also want to do these things. As sid has been saying, mithai is too engrossed in doing bouma giri.

@bold: Absolutely, which is why I say that it is only in proportion to what he now feels for his family. Mithai is now a part of his family, but does that mean she is his wife? Not so much. I know I'm being a little too critical, but I am unable to think otherwise.

In today's episode, the kiss on Mit's hand was very sweet, but I found the premise rather problematic. Sid kissed Mit's hand not out of love or affection. It was more to keep his word and as a "return gift" for what Mithai did for him. That to me, sounds like him giving Mithai a "bheek", without even asking whether she wanted it in the first place. When he kissed her hand amongst a room full of people and asked for it to be videographed, did he for once ask Mithai if she would be comfortable? What would it take, just one "May I?", but it would have sent a very powerful message across -- that of consent. I expect this even more from Sid, because he is otherwise very progressive and sensible about these matters, miles ahead from the rest of the lot.

Also, did you guys notice, when Sid was feeding cake to his family, Mithai left and nobody, not even Sid, noticed for quite a while. He fed cake to everyone, but not his wife? I would have loved to believe the "Sid and Mit are now truly married" narrative, if not for this scene. Yes Mithai is now family to him, but just another family member.

@green: How true is that! Even I was irked by them having an entire episode to discuss Tyash's blouse.

@blue: Absolutely! I really hope the makers read this😛

A lot of my seniors are applying for higher studies and I see them drowned in application work day and night. But Ratul seems to get no time from all the laughing and "Siddy boy, Siddy boy" chant!

Originally posted by: Esotericbird92

Wonderfully put...thank you for such an insightful analysis. Pete r kotha ekdom mukhe ene felechen 👏

@bold - This is exactly what is getting my goat these days. Episodes are funny, lighthearted, etc. but where are they going with the story overall? Much as we love the other characters and their banter, the essence of the story is Sid + Mit and their growth as a couple. Their relationship seems to have plateaued off after the 2nd marriage. Mithai to prem er sagar e onek din i habu dubu khache...Sid o kichu ta return korche...kintu tarpore ki?

In an earlier post, I had mentioned that Sid has to overcome ghosts of his past to fully accept these new feelings and his love for Mit. This can only happen once the truth about Som's parentage comes out but that does not seem to be happening anytime soon.😕

@green - Objectively speaking if we look at the basic symbolism of how most of the scenes are set up these days then it is always mainly the women in the kitchen while the men are lounging in the living room or study waiting to be served something or the other. Somebody pointed out earlier that nobody has ever seen Mithai drink a cup of tea or sit down to eat on time. Small things but these details used to be carefully considered earlier and addressed.

@blue - Ye hai 100 baat ki ek baat 👍🏼This is actually what needs to happen in order for the story to move forward. Mithai right now is stuck in her "perfect bouma" identity. But will the Modak family accept her if she does something against their/Sid's wishes?

@bold: Thank you sooooo much! It stems from the lovely thread that was triggered by your extremely articulate post on this matter🤗

@blue: Completely agree with each of these points and @pink: these "small" things are what would sow the seeds of progressiveness in the minds of the impressionable audience. How long are we going to see women on TV and in "Sanskaari" families of places - big and small, being confined to the kitchen?

Originally posted by: mishti_unicorn

@bold: Absolutely, which is why I say that it is only in proportion to what he now feels for his family. Mithai is now a part of his family, but does that mean she is his wife? Not so much. I know I'm being a little too critical, but I am unable to think otherwise.

In today's episode, the kiss on Mit's hand was very sweet, but I found the premise rather problematic. Sid kissed Mit's hand not out of love or affection. It was more to keep his word and as a "return gift" for what Mithai did for him. That to me, sounds like him giving Mithai a "bheek", without even asking whether she wanted it in the first place. When he kissed her hand amongst a room full of people and asked for it to be videographed, did he for once ask Mithai if she would be comfortable? What would it take, just one "May I?", but it would have sent a very powerful message across -- that of consent. I expect this even more from Sid, because he is otherwise very progressive and sensible about these matters, miles ahead from the rest of the lot.

Also, did you guys notice, when Sid was feeding cake to his family, Mithai left and nobody, not even Sid, noticed for quite a while. He fed cake to everyone, but not his wife? I would have loved to believe the "Sid and Mit are now truly married" narrative, if not for this scene. Yes Mithai is now family to him, but just another family member.

@green: How true is that! Even I was irked by them having an entire episode to discuss Tyash's blouse.

@blue: Absolutely! I really hope the makers read this😛

A lot of my seniors are applying for higher studies and I see them drowned in application work day and night. But Ratul seems to get no time from all the laughing and "Siddy boy, Siddy boy" chant!

@blue - Thank you so much for bringing this point up...I literally had the exact same thoughts about this 🤗

I must confess like everyone else I also got a little giddy watching the entire scene ☺️but then the whole situation was set up like Sid was returning a favor to Mithai. Also what disturbed me was that Sid seemed to be very much aware of the power that he holds over Mithai and knew what a big deal this would be to her. But he himself did not seem to be affected the same way. Consent was a big issue here for sure

From the very beginning, there is a power imbalance shown between Sid and Mit in terms of their relationship...to the point where Mithai lost her confidence thinking she was not "Jogyo" for Siddharth and in extension for the Modak family. That is why she had to constantly prove herself as the perfect Bouma in order to be accepted.

2nd time around Mithai has become more confident but again it seems that she needs to be the perfect bouma and hold the family together in order to be accepted. In the premium episode for today, everyone keeps praising Mithai for bringing Sid back and cooking the special dish but nobody notices when she slips away quietly when Sid was feeding the cake to everyone else.

The way the makers are showing these lapses quite deliberately I feel/hope that they are setting up for future developments but what those developments are and when they will happen remains to be seen 😛

I am so happy I was not the only one who noticed mithai slipping away. It was a blink and you will miss scene, so not sure if the trp audience actually got it or not.

Forget feeding her a piece of the cake, she was not even present at the scene. And when did pishi recalled her presence? To give Sid food... Mane meye tar jeno r kono importance nei.

I was also irritated by Nanda telling Sandy to explicitly call down Tess for the continental cooking surprise. She wanted to show how great mithai is that she has leant a whole new dish to make Sid happy, in contrast to Tess who "aaj obdhi Som da ke ek cup cha baniyeo deye ni"

I do not like this villianization of Tess on the basis of her gharelu skills.

I liked the hand kiss moment. I agree with the power dynamic point. Sid seems to know mithai loves/likes him.

Remember he heard that conversation between mithai and gopal when he gifted her the medal on first night? So, he is aware of her feelings. Also, the way he taunted her about serial e ki hoye sob ami jani, it felt more like a game than genuine affection.

But because I am a sucker for romance, I didn't mind too much😆

Originally posted by: reshamc

I am so happy I was not the only one who noticed mithai slipping away. It was a blink and you will miss scene, so not sure if the trp audience actually got it or not.

Forget feeding her a piece of the cake, she was not even present at the scene. And when did pishi recalled her presence? To give Sid food... Mane meye tar jeno r kono importance nei.

I was also irritated by Nanda telling Sandy to explicitly call down Tess for the continental cooking surprise. She wanted to show how great mithai is that she has leant a whole new dish to make Sid happy, in contrast to Tess who "aaj obdhi Som da ke ek cup cha baniyeo deye ni"

I do not like this villianization of Tess on the basis of her gharelu skills.

I liked the hand kiss moment. I agree with the power dynamic point. Sid seems to know mithai loves/likes him.

Remember he heard that conversation between mithai and gopal when he gifted her the medal on first night? So, he is aware of her feelings. Also, the way he taunted her about serial e ki hoye sob ami jani, it felt more like a game than genuine affection.

But because I am a sucker for romance, I didn't mind too much😆

@blue: I'm pretty sure they didn't. The reason most serials stop focusing on the nuances is because it gets lost once out in public. Very few people tear down scenes and then absorb them, the way we do.

@green: Absolutely, this irked me as well. Tess may be despicable in many aspects, but that does not mean the family members vilify her because she cannot cook or she is not a "ghar ko jodke rakhne wali" bouma. Criticise her for only what is wrong, and not for what she doesn't do like Mithai.

@purple: But still, consenttttt😒 You can't assume they will like it, only because you know they like you