Deewar khada kyun hua aur usko ko thod kaun raha hai aur kab tak - Page 3

Originally posted by: laksh

I agree he should clear that. But I doubt he would. Just like Sai thinks she is an unwanted person in his life, he thinks he is an unwanted person in her life.

So if he tells that he considers her to be his wife, it would mean that he wants this marriage to work. He fears that Sai will walk away if he says that because he is under an impression that she has no interest in him, doesn't want to stay in this marriage and if he tells it he will scare her away.

All he can clear to her again is that he has no feelings for Pakhi and she is only his friend and his brother's wife.

As per KD, he once attempted to tell sai his feelings when they go on a trip where they find samrat. After they return, he overhears sai talking to samrat about their deal marriage and that she will leave once her course is complete. This makes virat think sai will never have any feelings for him and starts distancing himself from her. It is only after this sai realised her love him.

So as you said virat never does anything that sai doesn't want.

Originally posted by: Lostin90s

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As per KD, he once attempted to tell sai his feelings when they go on a trip where they find samrat. After they return, he overhears sai talking to samrat about their deal marriage and that she will leave once her course is complete. This makes virat think sai will never have any feelings for him and starts distancing himself from her. It is only after this sai realised her love him.

So as you said virat never does anything that sai doesn't want.

Both have misconceptions. Situations and the 3rd wheel is not helping them in anyway too.

But if everything becomes alright; there won't be much left in the story. It is a story filled with beautiful emotions but also pain.

In the the end, their misunderstanding will not be cleared so long as it doesn't compromise trps to stretch the show.

Originally posted by: neeraja91

I think the comment of main chali jaungi was to say "theres no reason for me to be friends with pp/you when ultimately the marriage is deal with an expiry date" because so far it is only a deal. Maybe she figures virat wouldn't be in her life after that because he can probably move on with pp. Especially if samrat doesn't come back or is confirmed dead. Secondly its to try to console herself that she should not get hurt by certain remarks of any of the people in this house including virat and their taunts/hate for her because its not forever. Its only till she will live with them and finishes her education. I think she absolutely doesn't realize that it actually hurts Virat or that Virat looks sad/upset whenever she talks of the expiry date of their relationship.

I dont ignore/negate Virats goodness and genuine care for Sai. Both make mistakes. But as an audience member, personally I'm inclined to be more forgiving of Sai's mistakes than Virat's.

That's where I beg to differ. In my opinion him or her, I think both are wrong when they are wrong.

Because she is consistent in her behavior, what you see is what you get, she is younger and doesn't have the tehraav that age/experiences bring, she has lost her guiding light, her sounding board and parent- that loss takes very long to overcome, she has no one to project her feelings on except virat..aai/bua/tai/mohit/ hain but voh log bhi virat se jude hue hai.

True, I too sympathise with her. If Virat had not suggested Pakhi to guide her in the past but instead had taken up the responsibility on himself, he could have guided her and she would have also tried to see what and why he is telling certain things. She could have clearly learnt many things about not acting impulsive, how to deal with certain things tactfully. I am thankful that she has got Aai in this house and now Mohit too.

They are not truly "hers" until this shaadi becomes real. And UM rarely speaks up..she behaves like she is a maidservant to Sai rather than a family member.

UM was shown her place in this house in the beginning. She knows about the people in this house so she is very careful when she does things. She doesn't want to do things because of which Sai can land up on trouble. She already messed it on the day they wore yellow dresses.

So basically Sai feels alone despite having all these people in her life and the one person who is trying to hold her hand and prevent her from this loneliness also is only doing it out of pity/ehsaan/farz/zimmedari and behaves like a pendulum.

In Sai's eyes Virat ka pyaar sabke liye hai including Sai, but gussa sirf Sai keliye. So far i dont think she feels like she is any way more special to him than pp.

Hmm, I felt that until he volunteered to leave the house for her sake. Anyway she will be feeling insecured in this kind of marriage.

Agar voh dosti kar bhi le, bff toh pp pahle se hai. And as a wife if she craves his "special" attention. She does not want to be his obligation or be a 2nd choice. She wants to feel like his priority.

She doesn't realize that its that extra dose of gussa that only she gets is his expression of "pyaar" and "haq jataana" .

Yeah, not sure when will get the cue. Can't blame her too, especially when there is jeetha Martha reminded who jumps into their room anytime.

@bold hmm could be

Originally posted by: laksh

I agree he should clear that. But I doubt he would. Just like Sai thinks she is an unwanted person in his life, he thinks he is an unwanted person in her life.

So if he tells that he considers her to be his wife, it would mean that he wants this marriage to work. He fears that Sai will walk away if he says that because he is under an impression that she has no interest in him, doesn't want to stay in this marriage and if he tells it he will scare her away.

All he can clear to her again is that he has no feelings for Pakhi and she is only his friend and his brother's wife.

@ Bold: I think that would be a very good start...and it is not a very difficult task even for Virat....Once he speaks that clearly and also his actions will match that...Sai is a smart girl, she will start taking two step at a time...😂 Jaise abhi woh marriage ko deal banane ke liye karti hai....

She needs to hear that from him....

@ laksh, he volunteered to leave the house because of his "zimmedari" towards her. Sai was very touched by it and looked at him in shock/gratitude but she still thinks its because he feels obliged. Its not because she is special.

When pp left, he knows he went to bring her back, she got the feeling that he was so unhappy without her presence and virat convinced Sai to apologize to pp abd bring her back too. So in her eyes he was restless about pp leaving the house too.

Abhi tak he has not shown her that she is special to him (in a nice way).

He told her tum maayne rakhti ho. But voh bhi Pp ko bhi bola hai- tum dost ho, important ho, tumhari feelings important hai.

The ladakh trip would have a good way to bridge some distance but it didn't happen and maybe if that lunch had actually happened, it would have been a good initial step. Instead virats gussa after his plans got canceled due to family provocation has put big roadblocks. Virat has apologized for what he said and Sai has forgiven him but bhulna mushkil hoga aur time lagega.

The naag river date thing was probably the only thing that Virat has out of the way done just for his wife.

In any case one would hope that there are LOTS of Sairat scenes that highlight the differences in the way Virat behaves with Sai n PP that Sai feels special, because if she does she will 100% reciprocate.

Originally posted by: laksh

I understand what you are saying, I hold similar views when it comes to him and his friend and him not clarifying things to her.

He hasn't reprimanded Pakhi like how he should have but that is his nature. I also want him to, he may do it in future probably.

One is she will make it an issue and leave the house, she put a condition that she will not tolerate insults, she is his brother's wife so he doesn't want her to leave because of them atleast.

Secondly I feel he sees no point in telling her a few things, doesn't think it is worth sometimes like about packing in one suitcase or khana khilana, he is not comfortable confronting Pakhi at times like these, so he moves away, ignores her advances if he can. He is not good at dealing with it and doesn't understand why Pakhi is doing it or how to let her know that he is not comfortable with it. Pakhi might even ask what is wrong in it and he probably thinks he can't say you are my ex and so it is wrong. She can come back saying tumhare dil mein chor hai isliye tumhe yeh sab sahi nahi lag raha hai. Is it not a possibility?

Well sometimes when such advances are made to men, it becomes very difficult to deal with it and here she is also ghar ki bahu. It is very sensitive.

Will be interesting to watch what he does in future.

But about Pakhi, walking into their room, I think that was recently addressed by them standing together against Pakhi when she found Sai feeding Virat. He had also fought with Pakhi several times and has defended Sai.

His slip of tongue pyari cheez, if Sai had caught it, yes it will be tough for her. At that time he probably had them at the back of his mind.

He did get an opportunity to clear about his relationship with Pakhi to Sai but he is somehow not doing it.

The first time I understood he was caught in a web of questions, some were true and some only misunderstandings and he didn't know how to explain.

But this time he could have told her but I think her not willing to consider him even as a friend is bothering him a lot and he gets drowned in his emotions that he is unable to clarify about him and Pakhi. He got hurt that she thinks so low of him.

I have written another post about the word dosti shabd se chid, it talks about how Sai is telling this mainly because of how Pakhi is behind Virat.

So as per Virat he has not crossed his boundaries and yet he is getting to hear these from Sai and it is quite hurtful, isn't it? It won't be insulting if it is true.

Anyway he needs to have a control on his emotions and clear things.

Bringing khana issue was addressed by aai by asking Sai to ensure he is fed and also to not take Pakhi's name.

Virat was shocked to see Pakhi in their room with food especially after he had declined her offer in the living room but he didn't make it an issue. About Pakhi trying to feed khana, though Virat didn't know Sai witnessed it, Sai has come to know that he didn't eat because he told her in the hospital "Aai ke alava aise kisi ne bhi nahi khilaya" and Sai took his words, she trusted him.

I am not saying Sai is wrong in guarding herself but in the process of doing it, she is overstepping her bounds which is not right.

She does respect him, has gratitude for him, cares for him too but she should ensure that she doesn't direspect him anytime or hurt him. She should be mindful of what she is speaking to Virat who is and has done a lot of things for her. It is not just monetary help that he had offered her, all the support that he has extended should not be forgotten. She is grateful to him but it should be visible in her words as well.

What you have analysed about Virat is very true....you have given very good explanation to his actions...which I have always wondered....actually I am bad at analysing him....

What I feel is.....Virat himself made the conditions of marriage and Sai is following them very very strictly.....she is building her walls very high in order to safeguard herself.....

I have observed that from the start virat always that she is his zimmedari.....but now-a-days he is telling the same thing but in a different sense....but Sai only catches the word zimmedari and avoids the deep meaning behind it.....

I feel that....in the starting of their marriage days she tried to exercise her patni right on him sometimes but couldn't because of Virat... who at that point of time has no feelings for Sai...I remember one scene where Sai tells Virat that Pakhi is not allowed in our room and if you want to talk to her then go to her room and have conversation....but virat dismisses her and tells some crap that Pakhi is his friend and stop being jealous of her.....don't come in between our friendship.....something like that....and also after completing her admission she tells that she want to go to Gadcharoli to get her Aaba's money then he doesn't allow her and tells "tum meri zimmedari ho aur tumhara safety bhi merit zimmedari hai" then she thinks "thik kaha aapne zimmedari tho hu mai aapki aur lagthi hu kya aapki"....by this it becomes clear that she wants to be more than his zimmedari to him....by this we can tell that at that time she has some hope him...but after seeing his behaviour she lost all her hopes and told herself not to keep any hope on him from then.....

I feel Sai unconsciously thinks Virat as person close to her after abha even though she doesn't admit.... even to her....she has already lost her abha and now if she bonds very close to Virat and have hopes on him and if she has to leave him at some point in future....she will not be able to bear that....and she is not sure of Virat's exact feeling for her....Will he want her to be with him forever or not??

Considering all this she has constructed her walls very high to safeguard herself from heartbreak.....according to her she has no one yo call her own and she can't afford to loose another person who can call her own....she protects herself from having any feelings towards him....she is just 19 years old.....as virat said she very bad at analysing people....so she want him to explicitly tell her importance in his life to take step forward....and for Virat...he expects her to understand him from his actions...being an introvert he is not voicing her importance in his life.....this loops is continuing.... it breaks when the thresholds reaches and till then it continues like this....

Even in recent episode when she said she will leave after her studies she expectantly saw virat to stop her like when he tells her when she says she will leave the house and stay in hostel....but got nothing.....she is disappointed.....even now she unconsciously has a small ray of hope

Originally posted by: neeraja91

@ laksh, he volunteered to leave the house because of his "zimmedari" towards her. Sai was very touched by it and looked at him in shock/gratitude but she still thinks its because he feels obliged. Its not because she is special.

When pp left, he knows he went to bring her back, she got the feeling that he was so unhappy without her presence and virat convinced Sai to apologize to pp abd bring her back too. So in her eyes he was restless about pp leaving the house too.

I agree a misunderstanding was created during that scene when he spoke to Sunny. But what about him taking a day off to check her results. He even told his family, yeh Sai ke liye yeh results bahut mayne rakthi hai, answered Pakhi ek din chutthi liya toh koi farq nahi padega, getting the candy floss and balloons. What did he do like this for pp? Sai has been in the same house right, she knows it. He said it feels as if he himself has achieved something, jaise maine apna IPS exam pass kiya ho or something.

Agreed, those days he himself was not clear with what he was feeling but he wanted to go out with her which shows how he was looking forward to spend time with him. Has he ever asked pp these?

I don't expect Sai to think any of these but if it is about feeling special then he has made her feel more special than anyone else I would say.

Abhi tak he has not shown her that she is special to him (in a nice way).

He told her tum maayne rakhti ho. But voh bhi Pp ko bhi bola hai- tum dost ho, important ho, tumhari feelings important hai.

He told pp she is his friend and is important, do you mean on the rose day? Then in that way, he has told more special things to her when he said tum maybe rakhthi ho, apna family mano, dushman mat samjho and that too literally begging her. Is that not special?

The ladakh trip would have a good way to bridge some distance but it didn't happen and maybe if that lunch had actually happened, it would have been a good initial step. Instead virats gussa after his plans got canceled due to family provocation has put big roadblocks. Virat has apologized for what he said and Sai has forgiven him but bhulna mushkil hoga aur time lagega.

Uske liye bhulna mushkil hoga par Virat ke liye aasan? Ladakh trip, he made a mistake by not informing Pakhi. Sai kept telling him to and he didnt and he apologised for the humiliation she had to face because of his mistake.

Even for holding her hand he apologised "haath Jodke" and also gave her the reasons as why he got angry and that he was looking forward to spend his Sunday with her.

He had clearly told her that he wanted to spend time with her and that is why he called her to Ladakh too.

But what about her? Did she apologise to him to have brought up and questioning his and Pakhi's relationship in front of everyone?

Most important thing that I was very upset with Sai. Sai lent him support when he was at the hospital. She saw how he felt about his brother. How did she tell out of all that "bhagwan jaane woh lautenge bhi ya nahi"? She told that in the fight in the bedroom and again to Kaku. Both the times Virat was got too hurt, too upset.

When Pakhi said the same we all got agitated, yes she is her husband but even then the way it was told we felt it was insensitive.

Do you remember the very first time Karishma asked if Pakhi will be counted as a suhaagan or not and everyone looked at her shocked and scolded her. Even Sai looked at her shocked and was disgusted with her.

The same Sai today because of her jealousy and insecurity spoke that? How could she? Doesn't Virat deserve an apology for this atleast?

Just a few days back, they were sharing a lot of beautiful moments, him applying medicine on her feet, feeding her, asking her if he is not a person to be loved, she too recalled it when she was missing him . Then her hospital visit, how she said I am like your Aai and you my aaba and then the cap scene and him pulling her towards him, refusing to let go of her hands and her asking through her eyes and all that. The next day V day where they kept sharing eye locks, him telling everyone at the table that the mere thought that someone cares for you and loves you can bring in a lot of happiness, repeated whatever she said. She looked at him and smiled again and then while accepting rose she said I have got rose twice. She was part of all these moments and fully aware of it as well.

I won't say Sai is wrong completely, she is confused.

But how can she then question or talk about their relationship in front of all the family members?

Simple thing, keeping aside the fact she likes him or he likes her. If we just take it that he is fulfilling his responsibility, does Sai have any rights over him or to question his feelings for Pakhi? She can question him if he crosses a line or disrespect their marriage in anyway. But the marriage was anyway a deal and she accepted it and always likes to keep it a deal. It is not true we know, both want it but Sai shows to him that it is only a deal for her, then how did she even talk about his and Pakhi's relationship especially in public?

Forget it being a deal or not, a person is doing so much for you, is she not obliged to him at all? Is she not supposed to be careful not to spoil his image or worry about his reputation?

I was expecting her to apologise for this and to have spoken about Samrat that way when Virat apologised for his behavior. Virat was wrong, no doubt, what she did was also not right. It is like questioning someone's character. It is not someone, it is Virat.

He has told her many times that he might not be her Aaba, but he also wishes well for her just like her Aaba. She also knows that he is her well wisher. Can we then do this or spoil image of our well wisher?

e naag river date thing was probably the only thing that Virat has out of the way done just for his wife.

In any case one would hope that there are LOTS of Sairat scenes that highlight the differences in the way Virat behaves with Sai n PP that Sai feels special, because if she does she will 100% reciprocate.

If you are talking about audience, we have seen enough instances where it very evident that Sai is special for him and he loves her. He is yet to realise her love for her.

As an audience, there cannot be any reasons for us to doubt what Virat feels for Sai. Infact I would say Sairat has been possible because of Virat. Whether he laid out those conditions or not, his feelings for her has only made it possible for us to have a lot of Sairat scenes. Sai would have spent her time with books or library or Aai or Devi Tai. Virat ensured they spend time together many a times, he kept pursuing her, a lot of moments were because of his feelings for Sai.

I don't blame Sai, she is uncomfortable due to the waada thing, but it is very clear that his feelings for her started way back and is much more strong at the moment than Sai's feelings for him. I feel a little let down myself when I have worded it voiced it out but I feel we can't ignore this. I like Sai as much as you, all I want is for her to keep her words and actions in check. She is selfless and good at heart, if she ensures that she doesn't hurt anyone just because she is hurt or upset or disappointed or annoyed, will be great. I know it is very difficult for anyone to be that way. We all do mistakes when we are hurt or upset. But she should learn to tone it down.

The previous night before the Maha Shivratri when he apologised to her, he called her his family. He asked her to not to look at him as an enemy. She even asked why are you crying like a fool. It was evident to her as how he really meant it and how much she means to him. He also told her how important she was to him.

The next day he uses the word zimmedari and she thinks he is obliged?

Firstly even if he had taken her responsibility and not considered her to be his family. It is upto him to fulfil the responsibility or not. Being the dutiful person he is and also righteous, he fulfills his responsibilities. The first night that they spent together in the bedroom after the reception he told her that he would have fulfilled his promise given to her Dad even if he had not married her.

Would he have walked out with her if he had not married her and just took her responsibility? Not at all. Also, Sai herself told before going to DIG office when he said he is not sure if he can keep up his promise made to her Dad and she told him it is upto him because it was he who had promised and it doesn't matter to her.

So it is very clear that if he wants he can break it or he also had an option to send her to hostel as how Sai wished to go. Sai could have thought that I even volunteered to go to hostel, and when he has that choice why is he willing to move out with me to take care of me. She has to think a few things. He is not obliged to, it is his righteousness which is making him do these.

Also even if she was her real wife to someone, they might not walk out of the house with their wife. He had told her that she considers her to be his family, she also knows he once said that he was born and brought up here and would never leave the house, can't think of living anywhere else, knowing all these too she doesn't feel special?

One thing to think about. She accepted it to be a marriage of deal, is trying to guard herself, I can understand. But she is failing miserably at her resolve.

The funny part is that she realises that he forgets that it is a samjhautha wali shaadi. A couple of instances that it was highlighted.

1. The day when he checks if she has fever and when she asked him why he got upset when she flirted with Amay. She understood he didnt like it. She points it out by saying you can flirt with any girl because main bhooli nahi hoon ki humari shaadi ek samjhautha hai.

2. When she had come to know Virat had come to her college to meet Aniket. She talks to her Aaba's photo and says why did he do that, yeh shaadi toh ek samjhautha hai, why did he have to do it. But while talking to Virat she didn't confront him about why he wanted to meet Aniket, she only asked why did he have to lie about it. And if he didn't trust her.

3. The first time she tells Pulkit about their wedding, I think it was on the V day right after the hospital night, she told him it is funny how she has to remind her husband that it is a marriage of deal.

4. When she confronted Virat about him and Pakhi, she again told him that I am not affected by your past or conditions or commitment because I haven't forgotten that it is a samujaatha waali shaadi.

If she has accepted it as a deal and always keeps reminding him that it is a deal then shouldn't she stick to her end of the deal?

I understand that her feelings, her attachment for him, her insecurity is affecting her a lot and is not letting her act unaffected.

But when she projects it that way to Virat, why hurt him in the process? She is acting rude or indifferent only because she gets hurt thinking he has feelings for Pakhi. It is natural and understandable. The same way Virat also makes mistakes out of his insecurity. Their actions cannot be justified if they hurt each other.

Virat should clear things, clarify that Pakhi is just his friend and his brother's wife and he has no feelings for Pakhi, but Sai need not be bringing about the deal every now and then and most importantly should not act ruthless with him.

Her insecurity cannot be a reason for her to hurt him with her harsh words especially when he is doing so much for her and especially when she knows he is her well wisher (I have already pointed out ). Itna toh woh kar hi sakthi hai. He had even asked her if she knows what she is speaking and if she knows how much he gets hurt when she speaks the way she speaks. So it is not that she is not aware that it hurts him when she talks that way to him. If she was in his position, she would have also got hurt.

If we can see he has hurt her by his behavior many times, we should also not ignore that she is also hurting him and hurt him many times in the past too.

Tl,dr. Sorry.

crux is that both have hurt each other and both care for each other. Sai can see his concern but will always have her guard up until he clarifies in WORDS and not just actions that his ONLY commitment is to her and no one else. And i hope virat realizes that at some point. Introvert or not, he needs to understand that his wife needs a verbal assurance that there is no other woman who will have her place in his life. That is not a lot to ask for. If virat expects her to understand his unsaid wirds/emotions then Virat should understand that Sai has in every way shown how much she is affected by his "past" with pp. And it bothers her that he is not honest. Instead of saying that pp and him are just friends, he needs to say it all. Yes, i thought i loved her, but she is my brothers wife. I do not see her as anything more than that. Never will. I have moved on. Irrespective of the marriage there is no scope for any relationship with pp beyond vahini-devar. Infact virat should acknowledge that there was never any "friendship" with pp. Even when they met at yoga camp it was attraction/infatuation, never friendship.

I don't by any means negate that Sai makes mistakes too. She oversteps in her anger. But so does everyone. But i have no qualms admitting that I am lenient towards her and more forgiving of her mistakes because i think personality/ age and life experiences also impact ones outlook and reactions. And i think that should be factored in when we judge a situation. It doesn't mean i dont acknowledge that there are mistakes on her end too but Sai acts according to her age/experience/personality. i do hope she is shown apologizing for her mistakes too. Because Sai does apologize when shes wrong and no one can manao like Sai does! Thats an oversight on part of CVs. And i hope to see a Sai apologizing to virat scene too. In KD we do see her mellow with time and be more mindful of her words and i hope that the growth in her is seen in ghkpm too. But just like there seem to be people who are more on Virats side and identify with his pov, i can identify more with Sai's pov. Thats all i have to say.

Originally posted by: neeraja91

Tl,dr. Sorry.

crux is that both have hurt each other and both care for each other. Sai can see his concern but will always have her guard up until he clarifies in WORDS and not just actions that his ONLY commitment is to her and no one else. And i hope virat realizes that at some point. Introvert or not, he needs to understand that his wife needs a verbal assurance that there is no other woman who will have her place in his life. That is not a lot to ask for. If virat expects her to understand his unsaid wirds/emotions then Virat should understand that Sai has in every way shown how much she is affected by his "past" with pp. And it bothers her that he is not honest. Instead of saying that pp and him are just friends, he needs to say it all. Yes, i thought i loved her, but she is my brothers wife. I do not see her as anything more than that. Never will. I have moved on. Irrespective of the marriage there is no scope for any relationship with pp beyond vahini-devar. Infact virat should acknowledge that there was never any "friendship" with pp. Even when they met at yoga camp it was attraction/infatuation, never friendship.

I don't by any means negate that Sai makes mistakes too. She oversteps in her anger. But so does everyone. But i have no qualms admitting that I am lenient towards her and more forgiving of her mistakes because i think personality/ age and life experiences also impact ones outlook and reactions.

And i think that should be factored in when we judge a situation. It doesn't mean i dont acknowledge that there are mistakes on her end too but Sai acts according to her age/experience/personality. i do hope she is shown apologizing for her mistakes too. Because Sai does apologize when shes wrong and no one can manao like Sai does! Thats an oversight on part of CVs. And i hope to see a Sai apologizing to virat scene too. In KD we do see her mellow with time and be more mindful of her words and i hope that the growth in her is seen in ghkpm too. But just like there seem to be people who are more on Virats side and identify with his pov, i can identify more with Sai's pov. Thats all i have to say.

Don't have to be sorry. That is your view. It is just that I have always wanted to write from Virat's pov too. I couldn't ignore it. I am able to understand and share my understanding with you only because I like Sai too. Had a good chat and conversation, take care. We will catch up in another post soon 😆

I agree Virat has to speak out, clarify his relationship with Pakhi to Sai.

@bold I understand, it is her age, she is in her teens too, she was the only daughter, was loved and pampered and even lost him at such an young age. Living with complete strangers and a few heartless people who is making her life a hell.

I feel there will be a growth in her character. I just they don't follow KD after they get united. I just cannot tolerate the Shruthi's track.