Varsha as a mom

Varsha is a great example of how overcompensation doesn't work in child rearing. I am going by only what they have shown in this show, not PS. She seems to have really failed with Kuhu. She is like Gandhari - she can see and understand the injustices that happen to her child and the injustices her child does to others, but doesn't stop either. Also similar to Gandhari, she did not stop Jas teaching Kuhu the wrong things and influencing her behavior.

Her way of dealing with Kuhu's insecurities with regard to Mishti was ignoring Mishti (like the scene where she moved away instead of hugging Mishti because she thought Kuhu would feel bad), asking Mishti to be responsible or adjust as the badi behen, and the worst is that even when Kuhu feels bad that she had been rude to Mishti she says "mujhe lagta hai woh samjhegi". Why could she not teach her daughter to overcome her insecurities with regard to Mishti? Why could she not teach her daughter to put the blame where it lies, and not on the easier target?

She could see her daughter's pain in agreeing to the rishta swap and did nothing about it. She got angry when she found out Kuhu liked Kunal after MishNal rishta broke, but would it have taken much to talk to her daughter about it rather than slapping her? She could have explained why it wouldn't work when Mishti was in the picture. She was rightfully angry with Mishti about the haldi events but she could have prevented that if she had been honest right from the start - with RJVs and Mahs. I'll also accept she didn't call out how rude Kunal was to Mahs after marriage because she still thought he loved Kuhu and assumed the problem was his dislike for Mishti.

The way she tried to break MishBir up was below the belt. Let's accept she did it for her daughter. This very behavior though has been an extremely poor example for Kuhu. It seems to indicate that it's ok to do anything and play with other people's lives so long as it will make your own life smoother. She asks Mishti to give up her love for her daughter, and says she would say the same to Kuhu. That's really not believable based on her behavior with Mishti. She couldn't even tell Kuhu not to ask for Mishti's mandap. She knew it was wrong, and said to MIshti she can choose but she should have told Kuhu instead that it is wrong to ask this. Showing Kuhu her dissatisfaction with "Mishti ka mandap" comment only made Kuhu more mad at Mishti. In fact, that whole agreeing to them marrying again was a terrible idea - why not ask Kuhu to take some time to reflect? They could have always married again if that's what they wanted after some reflection. At every crucial instance, she just gives in and does what will make Kuhu happy at the moment, instead of helping her think ahead.

Her sympathizing with Meenu over Parul once the truth is known is understandable since she has been in the same position. She also clearly understood how insecure Kuhu would now feel in RJV, then why not teach her a better way to overcome the insecurity? She was supportive of MishBir moving away after marriage so she could clearly see the problem even though she didn't even know about Parul-Kunal at that point. So why not suggest the same to KuKu? It's a different point that it would not have been followed, but couldn't she have suggested it? Holi time she was shouting at Kuhu about appearances and that didn't even have the tiniest impact.

More recently with the magazine fiasco, why not tell Kuhu she is wrong to blame Mishti for the publishing house's mistake rather than fighting with BM that Kuhu also has a right to be upset? No one was saying Kuhu can't be upset, just that it is not Mishti's fault.

Problem that I have seen is that Varsha has been mad at Kuhu when she had some cause to be upset and sympathized with her when she was clearly wrong.

The surrogacy track was the worst of all. Kuhu once again didn't trust her enough to consult her or share her decision with her. Instead of talking to Kuhu, she also decided to put the responsibility on MishBir and ask them not to agree to the surrogacy. When she heard they were going through with it, she waited too long to go and stop Kuhu, and then compounded that by being mad enough not to talk to her for 5-6 months. When she came for the godhbarai, she made comments designed to have Kuhu become upset, and extremely rude with Mishti (she knows her daughter enough to know this!).

Varsha knows why Kuhu has agreed to the surrogacy. She knows Kuhu has been treating Mishti badly, but she doesn't say a word. When finally the truth it out, and Kuhu is ready to apologize for her mistakes, she swoops in and takes her daughter away as if she is rescuing a princess from the dragons. Her stand for Kuhu in front of Meenu and Kunal is commendable and all the things she mentioned are on-point, but once again she is not prepared to let Kuhu face the consequences for her part in all this. How are you being a good mom by preventing your adult child from accepting her mistakes?

Definitely agree with Varsha's ask that Kunal and Kuhu stay separately because that would solve a lot of problems. Would like it better if she treated Kuhu like an adult though. You can't keep fighting your child's battles even when they are adults. When Mishti went to BM she clearly told her you have your own family now, so fight your own battles.

Varsha has not taught Kuhu to face the consequences of her actions. I don't think she has ever made Kuhu feel secure enough in her love that she could bring her her problems because then Varsha may be disappointed or unhappy. Kuhu has never shared her concerns and worries with her mother. It's a different thing that she seems to know some of them anyway. If Kuhu doesn't know she knows, how does that help?

It's true a mom can't be blamed for an adult child's actions, but she does have a large role in shaping the character of her child and their subsequent behavior as an adult, and most of Kuhu's insecurities could have been corrected by Varsha when Kuhu was a child. BM and BP can partly be blamed but they were still her grandparents and not her parents. The one most to blame is the one who had the most responsibility towards her, and that is Varsha and Shaurya.

I've just been so disappointed with Varsha lately that I had to write this. She is a nice person, and herself knows right from wrong, and she clearly loves Kuhu and Kuhu loves her back, so it is even more disappointing to see the way she has parented Kuhu.

Agreed Daya. The writers have shown inconsistencies in all the characters from time to time but overall I agree with what you said.

Ufff... Finally ...

Someone need to say it louder and you did it on point 🤗

Offlate Varsha's behaviour towards mishti and abir is despicable... How it's fair to suppress all the wrong doing of ur daughter and encourage her jealously and insensitive demands and burden others with responsibility to make your princess daughter's life a cake walk with absolutely no sense of regret, humility, empathy, love or even ounce of guilt... Bust just self love and unreasonable hatred....

There's a saying that not only the sinner but the one who supports such injustice is equally responsible..

If there is still few who just wants to support kuhu and her atrocities.. All I can say is " Varsha Mubarak ho" ...those kind deserve varshas 😎

This Varsha is NOT real Varsha. Creatives have changed her character. Varsha in YRKKH is amazing and has always done right to others and all. This show has changed all the previous characters and destroyed them.

Oh yes, Varsha is a perfect example of BAD parenting. She’s been overcompensating all these years to prove to the world that she has wholeheartedly accepted her husband’s love child. She was so much stricter with her own daughter Ananya, that’s why Ananya grew up to be a kind, courteous, balanced person. While K is just the opposite.

Varsha has been rude, mean and entirely selfish with regard to Mishti and her happiness. On so many occasions she’s berated Mish and asked her to be the mature one and act as the “older sister” Really? Then why not ask her daughter to be more respectful to her “older sister”? Why remain silent when K is rude and obnoxious to Mish, calling her names even in jest?

Varsha mostly allowed K and Jas to name call Mishti and be nasty to her.
Asking Mish to give up Abir was the worst! Just to save KuKu marriage, she expected Mishbir to sacrifice their love? Abir’s reply to BP was the best, that no third person can make or break a pair if they themselves are determined to be together! 👏

I think Varsha has always seen Mishti as an intruder, a usurper of her darling “daughter’s” affection from BM BP, which is not true. Maybe she saw Mishti as a symbol of the threat she felt about losing her position as a wife and mother. Sometimes I feel the bad upbringing Varsha gave to K was a kind of revenge against her dead rival I.e. K’s bio mom. Because she was certainly a much better mother for Ananya. The human psychology is very complex and twisted.

Originally posted by: *Dev.*

This Varsha is NOT real Varsha. Creatives have changed her character. Varsha in YRKKH is amazing and has always done right to others and all. This show has changed all the previous characters and destroyed them.

This is the Varsha I have seen from the beginning of this show. I have not watched the parent show, so cannot compare.

Originally posted by: pallavi25

Oh yes, Varsha is a perfect example of BAD parenting. She’s been overcompensating all these years to prove to the world that she has wholeheartedly accepted her husband’s love child. She was so much stricter with her own daughter Ananya, that’s why Ananya grew up to be a kind, courteous, balanced person. While K is just the opposite.

Varsha has been rude, mean and entirely selfish with regard to Mishti and her happiness. On so many occasions she’s berated Mish and asked her to be the mature one and act as the “older sister” Really? Then why not ask her daughter to be more respectful to her “older sister”? Why remain silent when K is rude and obnoxious to Mish, calling her names even in jest?

Varsha mostly allowed K and Jas to name call Mishti and be nasty to her.
Asking Mish to give up Abir was the worst! Just to save KuKu marriage, she expected Mishbir to sacrifice their love? Abir’s reply to BP was the best, that no third person can make or break a pair if they themselves are determined to be together! 👏

I think Varsha has always seen Mishti as an intruder, a usurper of her darling “daughter’s” affection from BM BP, which is not true. Maybe she saw Mishti as a symbol of the threat she felt about losing her position as a wife and mother. Sometimes I feel the bad upbringing Varsha gave to K was a kind of revenge against her dead rival I.e. K’s bio mom. Because she was certainly a much better mother for Ananya. The human psychology is very complex and twisted.

It could be pallu. I know you've seen PS so you can probably compare. It's important for a child to feel secure and loved, but it is also important for a child to be taught right from wrong, and she failed there.

Mishti got all the responsibility of being older sister without the respect that comes with it. And to top it off, I think she's only a year older right?

That's why I said overcompensating Pallu. Maybe she had the fear that people (and maybe Kuhu herself) would think she didn't like her if she disciplined her as a child. But in the show, when Kuhu was an adult, I just see her disciplining Kuhu at the wrong times and indulging her at the wrong times.

Originally posted by: angelfire78

It could be pallu. I know you've seen PS so you can probably compare. It's important for a child to feel secure and loved, but it is also important for a child to be taught right from wrong, and she failed there.

Mishti got all the responsibility of being older sister without the respect that comes with it. And to top it off, I think she's only a year older right?

That's why I said overcompensating Pallu. Maybe she had the fear that people (and maybe Kuhu herself) would think she didn't like her if she disciplined her as a child. But in the show, when Kuhu was an adult, I just see her disciplining Kuhu at the wrong times and indulging her at the wrong times.

Yes, Daya, definitely a case of overcompensating to prove her magnanimity in accepting her husband’s child. There’s no balance or logic in her rare attempts to discipline K even now as an adult. She berates and indulges at the wrong times.

Yes, Mishti is only a year older but is expected to behave like a decade older Didi. Yet she’s not supposed to get the respect that relationship deserves? Mish was most unlucky to be sent to Mah house by her own Dadi, she would have had a much happier life in Singhania house where most people loved her and treated her like a little princess.

In the parent show, Varsha was sometimes too strict on even the grown up Ananya. Like she kept berating Ananya about her weight so much that A took diet pills and got sick and fainted. Varsha also had a subtle competition going on with Akshara about Ananya and Naksh. She’s always been rather an insecure person and she passed on her insecurities to K also.

Thank you Daya for taking the time to pen down thoughts on Varsha as a mom 🤗🤗

Love how nicely you have explained and covered all aspects of Varsha's parenting in shaping up what Kuhu is today! Couldn't have said it better, agree with everything!!!

Gandhari is an apt comparison for Varsha's character. Jaan ke bhi andekha kar dena just so that the child doesn't suffer at that moment actually ends up messing the child for life. Varsha has been well aware of her daughter's insecurities and jealousy right from the start. We have seen how she hesitates to even show affection to Mishti when Kuhu is around, always expects Mishti to work around it but never really tries to address the issue with Kuhu. Like you have pointed out, she calls out Kuhu on things where there is a scope for Kuhu to actually be upset - but again those are mostly unimportant things. But on things that actually matter, where Kuhu is wrong and crosses the line she just turns a blind eye and expects or rather berates others for not working around it!

This time she has gone even one step further where she is not only ignoring her daughter's despicable acts and refusing to acknowledge her part in the mess but is also encouraging her behavior by stopping her from accepting her mistake and apologizing! How can she ever be considered a good mother?!

Your princess being rescued from the dragons is spot on! As a mother she is right to call out Meenu and Kunal for their roles, but when your daughter herself is admitting her major role in the mess, why not give her an outlet to express her mistakes that will actually bring her some relief! By not letting her confess and apologize, Varsha is making a bigger mess of the situation and this will prompt Kuhu to take whatever stupid step makers have planned next for her...

While it's true that parents can't be blamed for adult children's actions, but at the same time parents have the biggest role to play in shaping up their characters and influence their way of thinking while growing up. And in Kuhu's case Varsha has been fully aware of this behavior from childhood and still refuses to address it! And by always managing the consequences of Kuhu's actions and continuing to do so even in her adult life, she is not letting her grow up and is damaging her adulthood too. Blaming it all on BM is convenient, but ultimately grandparents only have a limited role to play in a child's life when parents are actively involved! It's the parents responsibilities to raise the child well and teach them right from wrong.

Anyways, in Kuhu's case, mentally, she is not even an adult. Varsha has been treating her and her mistakes as Naadan Bachpana throughout, and asking everyone around her to grow up and accommodate. And now Kuhu has found herself a team of adults in her sasuraal too that are willingly to bend over backwards to continue to indulge her.

So yeah, Kuhu still has a lot of growing up to do... if only Varsha and others let her!