*Discussion Of The Week #1* Second Marriages - Page 9

I am not from Islamic religion, so don't have any deep knowledge on you r rules. Please forgive if I hurt someones sentiments. I don't mean that.

My belief is that in all religions whether Hindu, Islam, Christianity....people heavily depend on words written in scriptures, Quran, Bible. They don't understand the situation in which the rules were created and decisions were made. They only want to follow everything written millions of years ago, word to word. And thats where most problem happens.

Men question women's character and ask her to give proof/agnipariksha. Why only because in Ramayan God asked a woman to do so. They don't understand the reason why God did what he did and that leads to backward society.

I think Hina mentioned that earlier second marriage was to let widows/orphans have a chance of family. But people now uses same excuse to fulfill their dirty motives.

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

One other thing is that not all men are the same, some men have very high sex drives while some dont. The same thing applies to women so its not just men. How can you explain those women who commit adultery despite being married?

For any God, any religion men and women are always equal. God never makes a decision based on desires, than how can the second marriage law be for men's pleasure. I could understand if the wife is physically unable (unable not weak), but even then he should be faithful to his second wife. Not like let me marry third, fourth time.

Its actually more hurtful for the first wife who loves her husband with her whole heart to share him with someone else than to leave him. So for her own mental peace better to not see his face again.

Originally posted by: CornKhazana

I am not from Islamic religion, so don't have any deep knowledge on you r rules. Please forgive if I hurt someones sentiments. I don't mean that.

My belief is that in all religions whether Hindu, Islam, Christianity....people heavily depend on words written in scriptures, Quran, Bible. They don't understand the situation in which the rules were created and decisions were made. They only want to follow everything written millions of years ago, word to word. And thats where most problem happens.

Men question women's character and ask her to give proof/agnipariksha. Why only because in Ramayan God asked a woman to do so. They don't understand the reason why God did what he did and that leads to backward society.

I think Hina mentioned that earlier second marriage was to let widows/orphans have a chance of family. But people now uses same excuse to fulfill their dirty motives.

I dont wanna comment from a religious perspective because as humans we can never have full understanding of such concepts, even scholars have different opinions regarding it.

My opinions are based on my understanding from my own experiences and observations of other people around me

Originally posted by: CornKhazana

For any God, any religion men and women are always equal. God never makes a decision based on desires, than how can the second marriage law be for men's pleasure. I could understand if the wife is physically unable (unable not weak), but even then he should be faithful to his second wife. Not like let me marry third, fourth time.

Do you think a husband should do marriage for the sake of having kids if his first wife cant have any?

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

Do you think a husband should do marriage for the sake of having kids if his first wife cant have any?

Do you mean second marriage while being married to first wife. That depends on who is more important for husband? Bio kids or wife.

If it is bio kid, and he wants to do second marriage, inform wife and then its wife's decision.

I would leave him to be happy with his family and would seek my own happiness. But I also have my parents support. Have seen cases where H divorces W for kids and also where W divorces H for kids. I would never force someone to be with me, especially when he is very insistent on bio kids.

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

I dont wanna comment from a religious perspective because as humans we can never have full understanding of such concepts, even scholars have different opinions regarding it.

My opinions are based on my understanding from my own experiences and observations of other people around me

Agree with you, and thats why we have all scriptures to hep understand bigger picture. Even now I can understand only some points.

Same, even my experiences are shaped by observing friends, family and co workers life. Have seen cheating husbands, miserable wives, loving respectful spouses. And that makes me want all that respect, trust, honesty, fidelity and love from my husband and am ready to give all that to him.Have seen that even without one of the above quality relationships have cracks.

I feel that sexual reason is not justified for second marriage,from my friend's telling me about islam they all say it was allowed more for protection of widows etc in those olden days.I mean look at men now a days,in Iran they were going to create a law that legally adopted daughter will become nameharam for her father once she is adult,bec of principles and it was ok to marry that same girl .There was uproar that it invites abuse in present society.I am not sure what happened afterwards.

Men use these important events in life of great people of past and use them for their own selfish reasons.Marry second time because I cannot control myself-- well then go there only.I mean if they want to give example of those great people then do they have even a ounce of goodness of them?

And i agree many women cheat despite being married happily.It cannot be attributed to just desires hence excusable.Both men and women in my opinion are perfectly capable of staying in boundary/controlling themselves if need arises...but they some times choose to ignore it and when it happens,people get hurt.

Originally posted by: sami011

I feel that sexual reason is not justified for second marriage,from my friend's telling me about islam they all say it was allowed more for protection of widows etc in those olden days.I mean look at men now a days,in Iran they were going to create a law that legally adopted daughter will become nameharam for her father once she is adult,bec of principles and it was ok to marry that same girl .There was uproar that it invites abuse in present society.I am not sure what happened afterwards.

Men use these important events in life of great people of past and use them for their own selfish reasons.Marry second time because I cannot control myself-- well then go there only.I mean if they want to give example of those great people then do they have even a ounce of goodness of them?

And i agree many women cheat despite being married happily.It cannot be attributed to just desires hence excusable.Both men and women in my opinion are perfectly capable of staying in boundary/controlling themselves if need arises...but they some times choose to ignore it and when it happens,people get hurt.

WORD!

@Iran para- [:X] creepy people trying to justify their havas.

Originally posted by: CornKhazana

Do you mean second marriage while being married to first wife. That depends on who is more important for husband? Bio kids or wife.

If it is bio kid, and he wants to do second marriage, inform wife and then its wife's decision.

I would leave him to be happy with his family and would seek my own happiness. But I also have my parents support. Have seen cases where H divorces W for kids and also where W divorces H for kids. I would never force someone to be with me, especially when he is very insistent on bio kids.

Exactly, i feel parents are the biggest support for a woman and she can fight anything and anyone when they are by her side. When parents are not alive, things are probably very different though. You cant rely on siblings to support you for the rest of your life when they get married and settle down.