*Discussion Of The Week #1* Second Marriages - Page 8

Most first wives only stay with the husband after second marriage because of some majboori, not love.

Frankly speaking, if a man truly loves a woman and sees no weakness in her he would never feel the need to have second marriage. Many men are unable to have kids with their wives but still stick with her through thick and thin instead of being selfish and doing second marriage.

I dont see any positives in second marriage. But after a man has done second marriage, usually first wife stops trusting him and loses all respect for him. I know I would too.

In the end, it should be her own personal choice if she wants to stay or leave. Nobody should pressure on her

Originally posted by: awida

Thank you Sami. You are very kind to me. Yes. I am a single mother , and I intended to be one from the day my nikaah happened. I even had it written in my niakahnama , that I will continue working and living in Yemen.😊 I didn't want to share a man with his wife. I only wanted his name, and maybe a child to fill my lonely life. And I am not shy of it. Ppl may think I am selfish , maybe I am one. But what is the use of being mahaan, when you know that you aren't strong enough to continue living as a pachelorett.🤔

But I continue to lol still maintain one lady should be enough for the guy if same is true for wife.

Originally posted by: sami011

now I understand ur POV ,in a male dominant society,specially in middle east ,where you need the name of husband ,yet you stayed independent.Your's is different situation.Living in close proximity or same mohalla etc is I think bad.

But I continue to lol still maintain one lady should be enough for the guy if same is true for wife.

@blue. It is still the norm in my society ..the majority of men are married to one wife only. And they stay loyal to them. In my family , my father, brothers, uncles and cousins ..all have one wife only. Second marriage is rare.

Men are different from women..their sexual needs are different. Their nature is different..not all of them are willing to have one wife only. You can see this even in the west. 😉 It is just that in our society adultary is a big sin, so second marriage is the only option for such men, that too if they can afford to be justice to both the wives. 😊

Who would want such a man in their life who just runs after his sexual desire?

hina-- haha agreed lol,

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

Most first wives only stay with the husband after second marriage because of some majboori, not love.

Frankly speaking, if a man truly loves a woman and sees no weakness in her he would never feel the need to have second marriage. Many men are unable to have kids with their wives but still stick with her through thick and thin instead of being selfish and doing second marriage.

I dont see any positives in second marriage. But after a man has done second marriage, usually first wife stops trusting him and loses all respect for him. I know I would too.

In the end, it should be her own personal choice if she wants to stay or leave. Nobody should pressure on her

@Red: Reiterating this let the first wife be the only decision maker. Husband, family, friends should support her regardless what she wants.

There are many factors and reason for a women to stay.In my religion polygamy is not allowed but people cheat . I personally would not stay married to such man unless there is something life changing but even in that case I would stop loving that man. I have known a close relative whose husband beat her, questioned her character, cheated on her for years. She decided to stay married to that man because her family was abroad and she did not have a house to go to. Plus she was worried about her daughters marriage.

Originally posted by: heavenlybliss

Who would want such a man in their life who just runs after his sexual desire?

Agree. Even if I stay married to such guy ( only if my kids life depend on it), I will not fulfill those needs, stop loving him and no matter how polite I will be, my respect for him will go down.

Originally posted by: CornKhazana

@Red: Reiterating this let the first wife be the only decision maker. Husband, family, friends should support her regardless what she wants.

There are many factors and reason for a women to stay.In my religion polygamy is not allowed but people cheat . I personally would not stay married to such man unless there is something life changing but even in that case I would stop loving that man. I have known a close relative whose husband beat her, questioned her character, cheated on her for years. She decided to stay married to that man because her family was abroad and she did not have a house to go to. Plus she was worried about her daughters marriage.

I agree. I would stop loving and respecting him even if I did decide to stay.

One other thing is that not all men are the same, some men have very high sex drives while some dont. The same thing applies to women so its not just men. How can you explain those women who commit adultery despite being married?

Originally posted by: sami011

i would just leave the guy and let him marry whosoever he wants to marry for whatever reasons...

Exactly, if he wants kids, divorce and marry whoever he likes and have family but I can not tolerate seeing him with someone else.

Hate all pak/india shows where the first wife is nice but husband marries for bio kids. If you want to have kids love, there are many advanced medical options and also adoption. You can have your kid without hurting your wife.