Hamari rishte main kuch ho ya na ho, imaandari zarori hai: ajao saray - Page 11

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

LOLL, I wonder if he'll ever find out the true meaning of live-in. 😆

I'll laugh if Babes ends up explaining it to him. 🤣

But I like their old school way of referring to each other with their "ji suniye" and maybe even "Minnie ke papa" or "Minnie ki maa". It fits with their whole respectful persona.

Daughter ke father and daughter ki mother sounds more likely, or Veer Balika ki mummy.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Thanks!

Maybe write it out anyways so that you can release that pent up anger? And then you can sift through your thoughts?

Done, finally. See post below!

Sorry it took ages but I really wanted to calm down before I did it.

@asmaanixx

Loved your detailed post and agreed with everything. I think I've calmed down enough to comment on it objectively now.

1. First things first, I really liked today's episode. The shaadi is officially over and we can finally get back to the true essence of PB - the emotional and complex human relationships.
   Yes, it was a major relief to see a "normal" house, clothes, etc. Basically their daily routine without all the bling that was becoming an eyesore. This is the simple PB that I know and love, with all the emotional complexities under the surface.
   
   
2. We pick up where we left off with HS asking Babes if she spoke to Minnie. His constant persistence in asking her what they talked about is also his attempt in finding out what his Veer Balika's mood is like, and where his relationship stands with her.
   
   As sad as it was seeing HS have to go through Babita to find out about his daughter, I am glad that he was trying something. It was interesting to see that he was trying to make it seem like a casual question so as not to alarm Babita, given her ultimatum the previous night, but I think he was dying of curiosity to hear if perhaps Minnie had mentioned him in any way, had asked about him or referred to the elephant in the room, the CD fiasco. That was hard to watch for me, that the father-daughter who had their independent equation from Babita, had accepted each other ages ago, were now in a way dependent on the one person who had no clue about how deep the hurt ran on both sides and exactly what the issue was, or that there was an issue. HS and Minnie hiding their emotions was a first. After the hospital incident, when HS had left Minnie in her room, Babita had wondered if they had patched up but did not bother to dig in and get to the bottom of the matter. Here too, she is taking things at face value as she has always done but the situation is far more serious than last time.
   
   I'm glad Babita didn't drag this on anymore and immediately told him that it was her who had the problem with the new relationship. And it's not even a problem with him per se, but rather, as she said, it's with her. She's not used to being so close to with anyone other than Minnie so it makes sense for her to dwell in her comfort zone.
   
   Yes, thank God for small mercies. I think he knew immediately what the problem was, and rather than leave it be, he gently questioned her as to why she didn't come back. This was him prodding her to own up to her feelings as he has always done in the past, but much more subtly this time round. He wanted her to spell it out so that they were both on the same page about her mental state.
   
   She pointed that it's easier for Minnie to form new relationships, adapt to new settings etc., but it's not completely true. In some aspects, yes it could be. She's a teenager after all and they're constantly experiencing new things. So in that aspect, yes it may be easy. However, when it comes to relationships, it's not. It's not easy for her to break former ties or transform already existing ones. Friendships are a completely different category since anyone can be a friend. But more solid roles like of a father, are quite tricky and she won't be giving that place up to just anyone.
   
   
   I also don't think Minnie necessarily forms relationships that easily. When she was alienated by Preet, she was lonely at college for a while. It was only Mickey that stepped in and took the initiative to be here friend. They went through a few things together before they got close. Likewise, with NB and Lala, they are adults who love her like their apni bachchi, and do not expect anything from her. They make it easy and uncomplicated for her to accept them, and do not put any emotional burden on her because their arms are always open wide. They also by default show her direction and give her wisdom and full support no matter what, so she doesn't have to "work hard" to form those bonds, if you know what I mean. Especially with NB, she trusted her from an early stage and respects her wisdom (as we all do!).
   
   With HS, it is a little different because she has put him up on a pedestal so high that she can't even think about bridging that gap or being on an equal footing with him. I know there has been a lot of talk about ehsaan vs. pyaar, but the fact is that she has always felt that mountain of debt towards him not just because he has selflessly helped them but because he has tried to understand her needs and guided her without any stake in her present or future. Most importantly, under his influence her entire outlook about the world and about herself has changed. HS in many ways, also made it easy for her to step into his inner circle because he had no expectations from her (except in the wedding but we'll put that aside for now). He was just always there, arms and heart both open. He gave her a sense of security and most importantly a home. By that, I don't just mean the haveli but also with him, the man who makes her feel secure and respected and loved.
   
   Minnie is far from accepting her Hanuman Uncle as a father, not because there's anything wrong with him but because she doesn't think about her own feelings or needs at this point. She has never actually sat down to think about what she feels about Ashok right now, or the void that he left behind as a father, or even whether or not she wants that void to be filled by HS or anyone. She isn't paying attention to her own needs, just focusing on Babita. Her trying to give Hanita space is again more for Babita than HS, but in the process she's distancing herself further from HS. The way she looked at HS from afar, coming back home from work and entering the house made me sad. Just a few days ago we had that lovely scene where he was telling her how he looked forward to her hugging him at the end of a long work day and chirping around him. Where is that chirpy bird? She doesn't share that with her mother, and now without the presence of HS in her life, who does she be a child with? She went to her grandparents as an alternative but it's never going to be the same. I also wonder if they will go a few weeks with this awkwardness between HS and her. I know it's tough for us to watch them like this, but in a way it's also important for Minnie to reevaluate what she wants in life outside of Babita's sphere and also how she feels about HS. Does she want him in her life as a hero, idol, etc.? Tags don't even matter. The point is, does she miss him terribly because she loves him or is he just a habit she needs to get rid of?
   
   
   But yes, it will be hard for Babita to adapt to new settings and dynamics because that's all she has known her entire life. Until eighteen, she lived with her parents and brother, then after that it was with the Khuranas. She only had two fixed settings to experience and as a result of that, she didn't have a lot of room to learn and grow independently. All that learning is happening right now at the Haveli. The divorce, creating Babita from scratch, the catering service and now this marriage - it all happened in the span of less than a year. There's a lot that she still needs to understand and learn from.
   
   When HS requested that he wants honesty from Babita, hope was ignited within me. HS is truly the more mature one in this relationship and this request reflected that. As he had said, it's not fair to use Minnie as a shield and it's not fair to lie to him. All she had to do was say that she needs a little more time and he would have understood. He would never force her to do something that she's not comfortable with. I really appreciated that he put forth this request because he made it clear to Babita as to what he expects from this relationship. Without honesty, there will be a lot of assumptions and there are high chances of them being wrong. And we're already seeing that in the case of Minnie and HS.
   
   I still think Babita is in a unique situation since she was living in the upper half of the Haveli. In real life, women don't have that choice. They are literally separated from the comforts of their family and home and have to get used to a new setting. Sleeping with someone who, yes is now your spouse, but also a stranger. Babes is extremely lucky in this case, since she has someone whom she can go to whenever she wants to ease her worries. It shouldn't be done excessively of course, but she can definitely take baby steps.
   
   HS was undoubtedly worried on two fronts: a) Minnie - what's going on with her? How is she taking this new marriage? Is she truly happy or just faking it for Babes' sake? and b) Babita - Minnie is obviously a priority to her but she had laid the stipulation that he needs to be a father to Minnie or she can never be a full wife to him. What exactly did that mean? What more does he have to do to prove that he's Minnie's father? Should he even extend those rights if Minnie doesn't want him in a fatherly capacity? What if he can never become a father to her? Then will Babita never have the fortune of being a wife?
   
   One white lie can lead to so many dangerous pathways. This is why HS was requesting for honesty so that all this unnecessary headache could have been avoided.
   
   I think this was one of the first examples of what HS had mentioned to Lala at the police station, that he would be the one who would have to maturely handle this delicate relationship for both of them. He knew he couldn't expect Babita to step up. At the same time he knew that there couldn't be room for misunderstandings between them. At least, if Babita were to be honest with him, then he would be sufficiently informed to make the right decisions or know how to react to various situations. He had always wanted Minnie and Babita not to hide things from each other because he had seen the problems it created. The last thing he wanted was a repeat of that in his relationship with Babita.
   
   It was hard for me to watch him struggle with his low confidence where Minnie was concerned and very delicately ask about her, indirectly looking for hints. He knows Babita has no idea about the gravity of the issue, or the history Minnie and HS share regarding the audio clip and the hospital incident. He does not believe in imposing any relationship on either mother or daughter, not as a husband, not as a father. Yet he's seeing a chicken and egg problem here where Babita has given him an ultimatum but he doesn't want to suffocate Minnie by forcing her to accept him as a father when she doesn't want him in that (or any) capacity in her life. Meanwhile, he wants nothing more than to have his little family all in the same place, on the same page and spend their lives together with happiness and endless love.
   
   I know it isn't anyone's fault per se, but this made me so angry, just seeing the injustice of it all. Haven't the three of them suffered enough? I know they all have issues or insecurities to deal with, but to start off their new phase in life with so much angst, confusion, and stress is just painful to watch. I keep remembering HS' words about not seeing any more women cry in the haveli, but that doesn't mean he should cry either. No man should have to bear such much of a burden. The two of them came to him broken, hurt, and desperate. He did what he could but in the process his heart and mind got so entangled that he's now struggling to stay afloat in some ways. I have a bad feeling things are going to get worse before they get better, so need to steady my heart for that. Also, the fact that both HS and Minnie's unresolved issues run so deep that neither has any idea. I know as a parent HS needs to find out what his daughter is struggling with but I feel as if he's a single parent in this case. Babita is so far from there yet, he will be taking on this load alone.
   
   HS takes the concept of haq and boundaries very seriously, as we have all seen. When Babita drew them, he kept his distance. Now that he feels that what he had thought he shared with his Veer Balika was all one-sided, in his head, and that perhaps he had been a fool to have stepped into boundaries he had failed to see but had just been reminded of, he is keeping his distance. That is conflicting with his natural instinct to go to Minnie as a father and as her Hanuman Uncle. I can't forget the words, he used when he told her in tears what it had meant to him when she had given him the confidence that he was her hero, he was the best. All that confidence was shattered. He had been living like a zombie after Imarti had died, and Minnie had not just brought hope and sunshine into his life, but also a sense of being needed, of being wanted, of being responsible for someone. He is now questioning those very assumptions he had made and wondering how he, who usually had a good sense of judgement, had gone so wrong.
   
   
3. Glad they're focusing on Minnie's studies again. I hope she's able to pass her exams with good marks. She's very obviously trying to avoid going home. But that's the thing with friends, you can share everything with them but there's still a dividing line in the sense that we all have our own homes to return to. It's only natural for Minnie to gravitate towards other avenues where she can feel like home.
   
   I find Preet to be a bit obtuse when it comes to Minnie's feelings and thoughts. She was far more concerned about going home, which is completely understandable given the kind of mom she has. But I can't help but think that if Mickey was here, he would have confronted Minnie about her avoiding Babes. First the bidaai remark after the shaadi, and now her not wanting to see her own mother - that would have raised some serious red flags for him.
   
   Oh well, he's gone back to his pind right now. Let's see what happens when he comes back.
   
   I get the feeling Minnie is a good student, so I was wondering if she might fail her exams, raising some alarm bells and Hanita being called into a parent-teacher meeting. Until then, I think she really needs Mickey and while he is away, she is going to sink deeper into her melancholic thoughts, poor kid. I hope NB intervenes at some point but perhaps she too is afraid of being accused of interfering. She is her Dadi after all, so I want her to haq se help her poti out. No other person seems capable of it at this point.
   
   
4. This Hanita scene was super cute!
   
   It really is in the little things. Handing him a towel to freshen up, picking out what clothes he'll wear for the night, making him snacks to eat when he comes back home from work - it's these small things that will help them develop their relationship into something stronger.
   
   The pride and happiness he felt when Babes clearly told him what she wanted (to wait for Minnie so that they can eat), was precious. Babita isn't hiding anymore and she doesn't need to. He doesn't expect her to come forth with all of her deepest secrets. He just wants her to feel comfortable and free to do what she wants. There shouldn't be any shame or guilt behind it.
   
   Also, HS has resorted to calling Babita, Malkin ji.
   
   Also, also, can we get a shout out to Babita's new wardrobe? She's looking hella gorgeous!
   
   Babita was like a little kid, trying to make her parent proud, that look I'm being a good girl, and doing what you asked for, tell the truth. I still don't see why she couldn't have sat next to him while he ate or asked him to join Minnie and her later. As for her handing him the towel and clothes, I found that quite interesting... Babita was in seva mode, doing her wifely duties, but ironically this is the last thing HS expects as a husband. For him, this is a bonus, he'd rather have a companion, a thinking, feeling, loving woman spending time by his side than one who simply cooks for him. As he had said in the pizza scene, that there needed to be some difference between his mother's generation and his, where women did more than cook and cry.
   
   
5. I completely understand Babita's worried mother mode but it's also a bit much. And it's not just with Babes. I have this exact same problem with my own mom. If we're not home by a given time, the amount of phone calls she'll make is unbelievable. And then the questions? Tauba tauba, yeh toh thanedaar ko bhi maat de de.
   
   A word of advice to all mothers: learn to give your children a little space.
   
   Babes needs to learn this too. Yes, her worries are warranted in this case given the CD fiasco, and she was spot on about Minnie avoiding them; but in the future when things are settled, she's gonna have to learn how to give Minnie her own space. Her studies can be positively used to get the two women used to the idea of not being around each other all the time. But I don't like how she's using it to lie and avoid being around Babes. All these lies are going to catch up to Minnie and she's going to get in huge trouble one day.
   
   I don't know why but I got the feeling that on top of trying to give Babita space, Minnie was also trying to give herself some space. Not sure if she's realized it, but on some level, she is also mentally exhausted from mothering Babes, and feels that she no longer needs to feel that responsible for Babita as HS can take care of her now.
   
   
6. The aarti that Beeji sang - is there any significance to those specific lines? I picked up on Shiv ji and with the whole Amrit Manthan analogy, I think there's a connection there. I also picked up on "ardhangani" which I believe means wife. But put together, what exactly does that verse mean?
   
   Another way to look at it can be: Beeji is singing the aarti out loud, while Dadu is quietly invested in his newspaper. Beeji is the active one, setting events in motion and is too busy with the outside world to pay much attention to Minnie (and for that matter Babes in the past). Dadu on the other hand, saw that Minnie might be disturbed (in her studies and life) but she won't say anything (just like Babes). When asked, Minnie denied being disturbed and covered up her reason for being there with yet again another lie.
   
   Minnie now has no intention of getting married, which is understandable. She's far too young to even be thinking about it and she doesn't have the maturity yet to understand all the complexities that go behind it.
   
   One interesting thing to note, she wants to get a place of her own when she grows up and take the senior citizens with her. Hanita aren't even a factor in this. HS has is his own Haveli, and I doubt he'll give that up to live elsewhere. Babes, while she'll go anywhere Minnie is, but I doubt she'll want to live with the Khuranas again. Or the Khuranas with her after what she said. A division between Hanita and the Khuranas has been created. First it was the emotional, now it's becoming physical.
   
   Very well said, about the physical distance. I think it's only a matter of time. They cannot play an active part in Babita's life and because Minnie and Babita's lives are still so intertwined, the Khuranas end up being in an all or nothing situation quite often. They day mother-daughter really learn to live their independent lives, they will be able to have separate equations with the Khuranas. I have a feeling Dadu suspects something, but Beeji is clueless. I won't be surprised if she does indeed blame Babita or HS upon revelation of Minnie's psychological issues once she breaks down.
   
   
7. Can I just say an angry HS, is super hot.
   
   I totally get his frustration with Minnie. Because of her lie, he had to go all the way to Preet's house and who knows what Rano said to him for showing up that late at night. Then there's also the fact that it hasn't been one full day since the marriage was completed and both maa-beti have resorted to lying. He set Babita straight but I don't think he expected this from Minnie.
   
   I also think he is right to be angry about the lying. We know he's going to be a strict father and he had already warned her about discipline, but it was interesting to see he didn't act upon it. Not long ago, Babita had given him the right to discipline Minnie as a father, and he had barged into Naeem Bi's house without a second thought, angrily asked her to come back and exercised his full authority. This time, he did barge in but asked NB to call her, had a few words with her and returned home without his Veer Balika. He felt he did not have the right to drag her back home or tell her off for lying or worrying Babita (and him) unnecessarily regarding her whereabouts. The irony was not lost on me.
   
   HS in a total protective mode right now in regards to Babita. He truly doesn't want to see her upset about anything. It's really touching that he's worrying about the slightest of her problems. A huge contrast to the way she had described Ashok in her outburst.
   
   In a way, it was good that HS had heard all that. He had always been mindful of such things but hearing it from Babita explicitly made him much more conscious. I just hope he doesn't go overboard, but for now he's also in a way leading by example. It's not done intentionally but in a way he is slowly providing Babita plenty of examples of the kind of things a life partner does for you, what a being a sukh dukh ke saathi is all about in everyday life.
   
   Naeem Bi referred to Minnie as HS' daughter and HS didn't deny it. I'm glad that at least there's hope of that relationship solidifying over time.
   
   Me too. I also loved that he barged in asking about Veer Balika.
   
   Naeem Bi is also right when she mentions Babita is expresses her pain overtly while Minnie internalizes. Given the mother-daughter's relationship, this is only but natural. If Minnie also started to express her worries, that will make Babes even more worried. We saw this in the past when they both hid the fact that they were severely short on money from each other. I thought they would have learned from that time around but I guess not. Also, Naeem Bi mumbled the difference in their expressions to herself and HS didn't pick up on it. Once again showing how he's more concerned with Babita right now because he can clearly see her worries but not with Minnie's because he can't see them right now. It goes back to Naeem Bi's question of how much does he really know his Veer Balika? He knows everything that he can see, but what about the things that he can't? What about the things that can only be felt by a parent? I don't really blame him since he doesn't know Minnie that well to be able to pick up on her little habits or what her usual behavior is like. But Babita being the mother, knows when she's acting not like Minnie.
   
   I loved hearing more of NB's insights on this matter but I am wondering why she isn't saying anything to HS about it as she usually does. Is it because she wants him to figure it out himself or because she doesn't want to interfere? Or does she not want to discourage him/add negativity after everything that happened during the wedding? I hope she speaks up before it's too late, otherwise I fear we will only get to see her counseling HS when Minnie breaks down. He's going to be devastated then.
   
   Damn HS, when he doesn't give two hoots about people, he truly means it.
   
   It's easier for him to break relations with them because he doesn't have any personal relationships with them. And after learning that they treated Babita, the woman he has come to love immensely, horribly, why would he want to keep ties with them? If she doesn't want to bring the Khuranas into her new future, then why should he? Only to make her more upset and angry? That beats the whole purpose of what he's trying to accomplish with her. He wants to remove all sources of her venom, not add onto it.
   
   I think his reaction is appropriate here in that he no longer feels respect for the Khuranas because of what they put Babita through but that may make sense only where she is concerned. He in many ways has also gotten used to seeing mother-daughter as a package so he is unable to isolate Babita's suffering from Minnie's equation with her grandparents. His main focus is on fulfilling his promise to NB, Minnie, and most of all, himself, about keeping Babita happy at all costs.
   
   I freaking LOVE Naeem Bi. The mirror that she's showing him is spot on but also very telling of his character. It's very easy to tell others what to do but that much more difficult to do it yourself.
   
   There must have been HUNDREDS of times when HS wanted to speak up against his father, tell him off, kick him out and whatnot, but he didn't because he was his father after all. This is why HS respects Minnie so much. She had the courage to do what he never could - take her mother out of that hellhole, without caring about log kya kahenge. She went up against her dad when he was abusing Babita, against the Khuranas when they kept quiet and let Ashok do whatever he had wanted. Minnie did everything that HS failed to do. I guess this is why he's feeling upset as to why Minnie still wants to keep relations with them. She had left their home once, but after learning what they did to her mom, why would she still want to stay connected to them?
   
   I wonder if on some deep level, he is insecure about Minnie being too close to the Khuranas after Lovely called him sautela. What if they turned her against him, would he lose any chance whatsoever of having a place in his daughter's life? It was all fine to love her as his daughter but being a parent is more than just about love and protection, it is also about responsibility and authority, and if she did not want that from him, what could he do? His marriage to Babita gave him legal claim as Minnie's parent that should have complemented what he had previously thought was a dil ka rishta with Minnie, yet after the wedding that was all he thought he had left. There was perhaps no emotional bond to be formed and if Minnie were to gravitate towards the Khuranas, and eventually yearn for Ashok despite everything he had done, then where did HS stand? What right did he have? If Minnie finally got Ashok as a father, then would HS have any place at all in her life? Would every action of his be scrutinized as a "stepfather"? Would he have to justify every word and action and always have to prove himself? Right now, the senior Khuranas are her connection to Ashok and I think on some deep level HS is actually afraid of this.
   
   Unknown to HS, the Khuranas are the only relations Minnie has left. Yes, those seventeen years may have been torturous for Babita, but for Minnie, she had plenty of happy moments. She got nothing but love, warmth and acceptance from them. Now, when she's in a place where she fears she's going to get none of that from Babes, it makes absolute sense that she'll go to her grandparents for it.
   
   In a different time, HS would have picked up on the fact that Minnie was leaning towards her grandparents, seeking them in an unusual way but because he isn't reading her/talking to her he is missing this whole new track Minnie has embarked on with them. Once upon a time he would have understood immediately that something was amiss. Sigh... I miss those days.
   
   Another point by Naeem Bi (I'm absolutely loving this woman today!) - whenever HS proclaims his identity, he always takes on his grandfather and father's. His grandfather - a person whom he has immense respect for but also someone who failed to do right by his mother. His father - a person whom he has zero respect for and is also the reason behind his mother's death. He still claims these two by name and associates his own identity with them. Minnie on the other hand, rejected the Khurana surname when she realized it was being used to own her and dictate how her life should proceed. Another striking difference in the courage between father and daughter.
   
   Minnie and HS' conversation when she apologized to him, kept coming to mind as I thought of what you've said here to while NB was talking. So in this episode, it was confirmed that for all his lofty ideals, even as an adult he could do nothing against his father, that his blood ties to that vile man didn't allow him to leave the man on the streets in his old age. His notion of over-compensating makes even more sense here. I don't know whether or not he loved his father but he still maintained his sense of duty towards him as a child. I am wondering if coming to terms with this will form the basis of him helping Minnie and Ashok reconcile one, because more and more I get the feeling this will happen. Would he be able to do that selflessly when the time comes, knowing that he could forever lose the chance to be her father? Would he be able to accept that his daughter calls another man her father? Isn't it ironic but beautiful that as an adoptive father HS could feel this way about his daughter's biological father, and perhaps even be jealous?
   
   Naeem Bi telling HS not to pit relationships against each other is a bit true. Just because Hanita may not want to associate themselves with the Khuranas doesn't mean that Minnie needs to abide by them. She has her own equations with the Khuranas and she should get to decide who she wants to keep in her life and not. Babita kicked Ashok away to London because that was the best decision for her. But was it the best for Minnie? Did she get a say in the matter? She might not have wanted to be around him but at least with Ashok being in India, Minnie had a choice not to interact with him. By going behind her back, Babita took that choice away from her. They can't do the same with the Khuranas. If Minnie doesn't want the Khuranas in her life, then it should be her choice, not Babes and not HS'. Only Minnie.
   
   Agree, especially now that Minnie is nearly an adult and can make her own decisions. Also, Babita sending Ashok away didn't give HS a choice either back then. Not that it was necessary because there was not commitment between Hanita. If Ashok comes back though, I think HS would also have some say in the matter and I think he might actually be the one to help Babita balance her wish to forget Ashok with the fact that nothing can change Minnie's lineage or her right to have Ashok in her life if she so wanted.
   
   It's complicated but I sympathize with Minnie in this case. My own grandfather was not very nice to my mom. For some reason he hated her to the core and never faltered from verbally abusing her, even though she did SO MUCH for him, especially during his final years. And like Minnie, I stood up to him. Fought with him, ruined my mental health, cried for nights and days because I just couldn't understand why there was so much hatred and why anything wasn't being done by it. But despite all of the grudges I had with him, and the abuse he put my mom through, when we dropped him off at the airport, all the negativity got released in my tears. It melted away when he sought for forgiveness and I did forgive him. I guess it was a good thing too because he passed away on the flight.
   
   The point of that personal story is that relationships are VERY complicated. I don't know why but they are. Do I agree with my grandfather or the Khuranas mistreating Babes or my mom? No. Do I understand Minnie's love and desire to be around her grandparents in the absence of her parents? ABSOLUTELY YES. They're alive and around her right now. They love her A LOT and want to be with her. I say let Minnie do it. If she wants to be around them and soak in that love, then let her because that's what she needs right now. She needs a lot of love and security, so let her have it.
   
   A small thing I noticed, the last time he went to get Minnie from Naeem Bi's house, he was wearing white. Today too, he's wearing white again.
   I noticed this too, and methinks it's not a coincidence. Nothing is, on this show.
   
   
8. Interesting to see HS and Babita on opposite sides of each other even though they're united on the same topic.
   
   
   
   Dunno why I posted it, but I really liked the shot.
   
   Now we have HS covering up for Minnie and Babes getting too wrapped in herself. What will the Khuranas be thinking about her and what they'll be telling Minnie about her. Minnie has taken a second seat in front of her own image and reputation again.
   
   For all her talk about wanting to move on from the past, Babes has a tough time acting upon it. Granted, it'll take her time and them living right in front of her doesn't really help either. But she needs to learn how to stop caring about what they think. This image that she created of being their "mahaan" and "adarsh" bahu needs to be shed. But she did repeat the "sach sach" so I like that she's becoming more forthcoming of her wants, desires, thoughts and feelings.
   
   This was an interesting position indeed. I didn't feel comfortable with him having to lie by omission to Babita but I think he was trying to keep the peace at home. It's not a pattern that he should fall into and I just don't like seeing him having to bend over backwards for her. I hope she can soon start to become a little mature so that he can openly tell her these things. Right now I feel as if he's dealing with two kids at home, each with different tantrums. He understands where Babita comes from, but after her outburst on the wedding day, I don't think he'll give her a piece of his mind about his stance on log kya kahenge or her obsession with her image as a bahu. She's still carrying the baggage of her past and he can see it. Bechara.
   
   Dunno if others felt this way, but HS' dialogue came with a hint of hesitant desperation (may not be the correct word). His relationship with Minnie is rocky so he can't say anything to her with full haq. And because he knows that Minnie prioritizes Babes and her feelings, he's putting forth Babes' feelings as being a reason why Minnie should listen to her. Stop seeing the Khuranas because that will make Babes happy.
   
   This is what I felt too, that he was 'hiding' behind Babita and her needs in order to reach out to Minnie. He came back home without her, unlike last time, so he's using Babita's state of mind as a point for Minnie to focus on. If he had his way, he would have told her not to lie next time and to let them know her whereabouts, perhaps even talked about discipline and honesty, etc. but right now he won't even go in that direction. I also think there was some unintentional subtext there, in that he was telling Minnie that even if she didn't care what made him happy, she could at least do what made her mother happy. I hated hated the way he delicately put that out, that he has to feel so much like an outsider at this moment. Ugh...😡
   
   If Babes is happy, then Minnie will be happy and if Minnie's happy then HS will be happy. This is his goal right now so he'll do whatever it takes to make sure this happens. But the thing is that it's not necessary that the things that make Babes happy will also make Minnie happy. In fact, they may hurt her a lot. If that happens, then what will HS do?
   
   Sooner or later, this is going to happen, and HS will have to step back and think about the cost to always focusing on Babita's happiness at the exclusion of all else. Perhaps this was what NB was alluding to, that mother-daughter needed to have their own space and trajectories, and that he would have to deal with them as individuals, not as a package. They were indeed different people and he knew that at heart. No matter how 'mature' Babita becomes, the fact is that her basic nature is very different from Minnie's, who in many ways is a lot like HS. She cannot nurture Minnie in the way HS can and vice-versa. Minnie and Babita have had a reverse parent-child relationship, and while Minnie deals with an empty nest, can HS help her navigate those new waters?
   
   I feel like this issue today also became a point for HS to speak with Minnie. To see where she stands with him and if they're still on speaking terms.
   
   Can I just say, I also felt that to HS this was almost a welcome 'excuse' for him to talk to Minnie, something he had never previously needed. It was a safe topic and one that was light enough on the surface, dealt with there and then. Again, I hated the awkwardness between them and the way they looked at each other expectantly but were unable to speak up. Don't know how much longer this will go on but I hope one of them bursts soon enough. It is really difficult to see them silently suffering this way. I also want to see how Minnie feels that not only is she maybe losing her mother but also her Hanuman Uncle, because she clearly is. During the wedding most of her flashbacks were of how HS became so important to her over time (whether or not she thinks of him as her father comes later). This time round too she probably feels abandoned by her father (figure) but has not processed this yet.
   
   They all keep calling Minnie "samajdaar" and that she knows what's right or wrong but they keep forgetting that she's only 17 years old. She may be wise in some matters but there's still SO MUCH that she doesn't know. As she wrote in her diary, there's a lot of confusion going on in her mind and in her heart. There are a lot of answers that she doesn't have and she doesn't have the courage to go to anyone and ask them about it.
   
   It was sad to see the episode end with HS and Minnie on silent terms. Minnie didn't respond to HS' statements and when they looked at each other, there was still a lot of distance between them. HS, wanting to reach out and make things alright again. Minnie, also wanting to reach out, but choosing not to do so because she wants to give them space.
   
   HS, as the adult, has the make the first move, please please please. He has to put his hurt and not focus so much on the label or significance of "father" at this point, rather just reach out to his Veer Balika as a friend. I know he feels unwanted but can they at least have a civil conversation as two people living in the same house. If this had been an arranged marriage, he would be getting to know her slowly and perhaps this is what the CVs want to show, that not only the parents, but also HS and Minnie need to learn more about it each other over time. Just wish it didn't have to be this painful. I really don't want him to wait until it's too late, until his daughter breaks down. He would never forgive himself and in his devastation might distance himself even further, thinking he is unworthy of being a parent, and maybe even unworthy of being Babita's husband. To be honest, I don't think it's fair to expect all that from HS but what can we do? This is where things have gotten to.
   
   
9. Precap: Minnie is taking the initiative again in making Hanita come closer. I get that Babita needs time but she can't stay in that comfort zone forever. She has to move into the new room at some point and it's better to do it now than later.
   
   I like that although it's hurting her, Minnie is taking active steps in creating that separate identity from Babita. It will do her a lot of good to her in the future. It's the same thing with Babita. It's going to be extremely scary for her, but once she gets the hang of it, she'll be the happiest wife and mother ever.
   
   I'm curious to see if Babita finally goes to her own room. Will HS still be awake then or will he already be sleeping on his charpaayi? Would she sleep alone in her new room or spend time talking to HS? It's actually quite funny if you think about it, Babita maybe asking HS if she could sleep in her new room now that her daughter had kicked her out of her room, on the pretext of studying for her exams. HS would see through Minne's intentions, I hope. 😆

We haven't been told if senior Khuranas are in contact with Ashok and Meeta or not. I wonder if after being informed that Babita has now married HS, Ashok comes back to be involved in Minnie's life? I don't know I get a gut feeling that Ashok will make an entry in the show.

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

We haven't been told if senior Khuranas are in contact with Ashok and Meeta or not. I wonder if after being informed that Babita has now married HS, Ashok comes back to be involved in Minnie's life? I don't know I get a gut feeling that Ashok will make an entry in the show.

I am actually looking forward to Ashok coming back. The story would be incomplete otherwise, but I hope we get a break before that happens. Too many complications that need to be dealt with first. If he comes in now, I fear it could destroy the marriage since Babita and Minnie are too fragile right now and HS no longer has the same confidence with which he used to deal with Ashok/act as Minnie's father.

I hope by the time Ashok comes back, HS and Minnie are on more solid footing. If not, then it's going to be gut-wrenching to watch HS lose one of the main reasons for marrying Babita: the ability to keep Minnie in his life as his daughter forever.

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

We haven't been told if senior Khuranas are in contact with Ashok and Meeta or not. I wonder if after being informed that Babita has now married HS, Ashok comes back to be involved in Minnie's life? I don't know I get a gut feeling that Ashok will make an entry in the show.

Isn't Bhanu doing another show though?

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Isn't Bhanu doing another show though?

Is he? Well, he can come in for a cameo here can't he? Enough to have a dad vs. dad fight.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Is he? Well, he can come in for a cameo here can't he? Enough to have a dad vs. dad fight.

That's what I last saw on his Insta. Dunno what his role is in it though. 🤔

Now even I'm getting a little excited for this Dad vs. Dad fight.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I am actually looking forward to Ashok coming back. The story would be incomplete otherwise, but I hope we get a break before that happens. Too many complications that need to be dealt with first. If he comes in now, I fear it could destroy the marriage since Babita and Minnie are too fragile right now and HS no longer has the same confidence with which he used to deal with Ashok/act as Minnie's father.

I hope by the time Ashok comes back, HS and Minnie are on more solid footing. If not, then it's going to be gut-wrenching to watch HS lose one of the main reasons for marrying Babita: the ability to keep Minnie in his life as his daughter forever.

Also, HS and Babita need to be on solid footing too before Ashok makes an entry in my opinion.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Isn't Bhanu doing another show though?

I have no idea tbh.