What about your pain, Dev? - Page 2

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Tia.0 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#11
Dev's pain is very visible, but the cause is also equally visible. The reason for his pain and losing every one of his happiness - Himself. The shackles Ishwari had put on his feet, only he can break, but he doesn't.

As you very rightly mentioned, Doctor. How will a person who doesn't dare to stand up for himself will stand up for his love of his daughter?

He has to stand up for himself first. A slave has no free will or individual rights. How will he protect anyone else's free will or rights?

That's why Sonakshi was worried. That's what worried Sonakshi seven years back.

Dev on his own is harmless. But Dev combined with Ishwari is dangerous. Because then he is puppet without will, without thoughts of consequences and without a conscience.
Edited by tia.o - 9 years ago
koyelbasu thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#12
True. Dev is a character who only deserves sympathy for his own misery. There are some sort of pain that is not in our hand but there are some sort of pain which can be avoided by taking right decision. Dev allowed himself to become a pawn in hands of not only his mother but his mami and Vicky too. Nobody can help that man who cannot stand for himself. Who cannot take stand for his own right how can he is capable of saving his daughter's right? Here Sona has to stand up for her own daughter's safety and her own right because as she told her mother that Dev is over emotional and impulsive so can be manipulated by his own people as happened in the past . So, she doesn't want to see her daughter go through any pain like her. That is where Sona always gained our respect and Dev only received sympathy and anger.

Bucky thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#13
Agree with you completely. How does Dev even cope up with his pain! I know that he was at fault but one can't ignore the pain he suffers from. And the worst part is he doesn't have anyone to share it with!
What was so intense in Ishwari's upbringing that made Dev so devoted to her that he even put her pain before his!
Sameera776 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#14
Awesome point this is the problem of Dev.Though I don't feel bad for him bcoz he himself doesn't care for his pain.All he care is his maa's happiness
rock&roll thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: ...Doctor...

Hello everybody!

Today's post is all about Mr.Dev Dixit. You ask why? I'll tell you!
When Ishwari was making plans to raise another Dev Dixit in the form of Suhana Bose, I was thinking about Dev's umpteenth attempt to make his mother happy (and failing miserable, as always). Now let's focus on the fact that he just found out about his daughter, he just met her, he just got to hold his bundle of joy, he just discovered about her existence but instead of thinking about his loss, he was again compelled/made to think about his mother's pain. Why?
I tried really hard but I failed to understand this dedication/ blind worship/faith that Dev has for his mother. Though I have no sympathies left for him when he comes in the Sonakshi-Soha picture but I do feel bad for him when I see him in the same frame as Ishwari.

Let me elaborate a few things:

1. When Dev shared his feeling about Sonakshi with Ishwari, he nurtured a hope of acceptance from Ishwari. He had followed her commands since he was 8 and continued to do so till he was 28, finally he took a decision and shared it with Ishwari. Ishwari was in pain. He didn't understand. Ishwari made him understand (pills) and he understood that his mother was in pain so he broke up with Sonakshi. That was the first instance when he intentionally/unintentionally decided to take away his mother's pain first. What about your pain, Dev?

2. When he told Ishwari about the honeymoon. The same sequence of events happened and he thought of Ishwari's pain, consoled her. What about your pain, Dev? Did Ishwari even ask you if you were okay? No.

3. When he revealed about Sona's infertility. Same thing on loop. He consoled Ishwari, begged in front of her, told her he'd do anything. He thought of Ishwari's pain. What about your pain, Dev? Was it not okay for a man to feel the pain of knowing that he might not be a father, ever? Was it too much for Ishwari to be by her "beloved" son's side when he must have so low? Why was Ishwari made to be the victim of somrthing that was remotely associated with her? Is she the only one with emotions? I totally ignoring Sona's emotions here because that's what happens in Dixit house but Dev is their own blood. Then why?

4. Let's talk about today. Dev gets Suhana to meet Ishwari just to fulfill his mother's wish. He swallowed the pain of not being there for his daughter from the past 6 years and put up a happy face. Ishwari loses shit at the mention of Mr.Dixit. She is consoled by Dev, Mamaji and all. Then she loses her mind at the dinner table and is in deep pain because her dreams were not fully accomplished. But it doesn't end here, Dev, again, comes to her rescue to take care of her pain. Bravo! Did she even look at him? At her son? Did she see that he was a father who had no idea that he had a daughter of his own, can she feel his pain? No. Can she see his pain? No. Can she see how hard it was to deal with that kind of stress? To be thinking about being a good father to you child all the time? No. She sees nothing beyond herself and Dev sees nothing beyond her, that's why Sonakshi left them.

My question remains the same. What about your pain, Dev? When will you put yourself on the top of your list. If you can't think about yourself, then I was expecting too much when I thought you'd take a stand for Sonakshi.

P.S.- I have no sympathy for Dev or his mother so please refrain from making this post anti Sonakshi. I do not and will not root for Dev and Sonakshi reunion. Just making it clear.

Views entertained, bashing is not.

Thank you.


Very good post Doc..esp part in bold is 👏👏

I agree that a person who cannot put oneself first(at least at times) can never ever take a stand for anyone else.A person who is not happy within can never keep anyone else happy

Dev's biggest problem in his personal relationships was his fundamental nature of "please all hurt none".So he never took a stand for anything.

His second problem which compounded the first problem was his tendency to pay attention only to that person(s) who complained and cried. The squeaky wheel always gets the grease when Dev is the mechanic.So Ishwari's wheels were always oiled and Sona's wheels(which never squeaked) got nothing.

Though he has changed his please all nature to an extent,he still runs to his mom when her wheels squeak.I am not surprised that these fundamental flaws have not been fixed.Human beings rarely change their basic/fundamental nature.If they do,it changes very slowly over a period of 20-30 years with slow and steady influence of another person.Since Dev continues to be influenced only by his mom,I don't see him changing big time.If Soha starts influencing him,he may change...

And even then,a part of him will always continue to react this way towards Ishwari...Ishwari is after all his mother and the only parent he knows and remembers.He will always have an ultra soft corner for her and this nature of putting her before him will never fully disappear.

PS:It is a different point that Ishwari is extremely selfish and can never ever see beyond her pains and sacrifices and tears.I have rarely seen such a self centred mother


rock&roll thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: tia.o



Dev on his own is harmless. But Dev combined with Ishwari is dangerous. Because then he is puppet without will, without thoughts of consequences and without a conscience.


👏👏👏 Very well said Tia...

Unless he stands upto to Ishwari's manipulations he will never get anywhere or build any other relationship successfully.
.
But I doubt that will happen so easily.For one,I don't think he still realises the full extent to which Ishwari manipulates him.One of the reasons for this is the nature of relationship.The mother child relationship is the strongest and the most dangerous.If there is selfless love between the two,the relationship can withstand hurricanes.But if there is manipulation by anyone person in that relationship,the other finds it extremely difficult to recognize and accept this.This problem is compounded by the fact that Ishwari is a single mother.So Dev sees both his mom and dad in her.

I doubt if Dev(or Dev like people in real life) will ever fully realise and accept that their parents manipulate them.Even if they realise it,they might not lose the soft corner for the parent, who they see ,as having made herculean sacrifices.And if,after years and years they do accept the manipulations,it might be too late to salvage other relationships.
Shlroy thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#17
Very nice post.
Yes felt bad for dev but he is responsible for all his miseries. He can be free from all these pain if he wants to be with little guts and self realisation and introspection. Dev thinking about others happiness OK I get it but that one person who destroyed his life again and again. Don't kick her out but don't care about her either. Ishwari is a kind of mom I would not even wish for my enemy but if ishwari is treated as goddess then its dev's and dixit family's fault. Ideally dev should have treated ishwari to a psychologist
pkbdas61 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#18
Can anyone tell me as to what has changed in Dev and Ishwari? Not an iota! Just by wearing jeans, using a bike, trying to act like a Casanova, trying to be hard on himself... does not change a thing. He is ever the mumma's boy! Every body else seems to have matured round about but for this guy and his. Mom
--Amulya-- thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#19
Disagreeing, arguing, opposing verbally are normal and common traits in any relationship, even in a parent-child one. I'm a bit like Dev love and care for my parents eternally but unlike Dev I strongly disapprove if they're wrong in anything, while writing these lines I felt its too similar to Bose family. Yes, theirs is a perfect normal family.


I've always felt that Sona is in the wrong in marrying Dev even after watching DevIsh from so close, theirs is an unbreakable bond as that of a blind devotee and his diety. These blind devotees seem to not feel pain even when they walk on fire, cut themselves with knifes, get stamped on till death on religious occasions, it isn't that they don't feel pain but their devotion for their diety is much greater than their own pain.
chucklebuddy thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#20
In the past, Dev had jokingly said that he will not be "joru ka ghulaam". But seems like he is "ma ka ghulaam" for the rest of his life! Though there is a slight change in his attitude towards Ishu than how he was pre-leap, I think he puts her happiness and convictions before his own interests and happiness!

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