Love feels like War.
Absence make the heart grow fonder?
Bullshit! That saying never made sense to Shravan, especially now that he was free of the unwanted burden Suman had become on him as a wife. Of course drying the dirty laundry their relation had become in from of the media wasn't a good thing to do, considering it was his image and reputation at risk too, but there was just something sadistically satisfying about dragging her name through the dirt in front of the world, letting them just how dangerous the woman was under her sheep's clothing, just what an opportunist she was. And if that wasn't enough to pleasure him, the look of vulnerability and shock that she had on certainly was. Oh, the pleasure it gave him, watching her head bowed down in embarrassment and humiliation, watching her shoulders slump as she tried to make herself smaller, almost into a ball and crossing her arms across her chest to unconsciously protect herself. It felt like victory!
He gave the media personals one final smug grin before walking out of the mansion leaving behind a trail of flashing cameras and the echoes of accusations and questions pointed at her.
The news spread through the city like a wildfire, destructive and yet hauntingly beautiful. Barely an hour had passed since his statement to the media and they were already the talk of the town, especially in his office. Of course no one had the guts to question him directly, but there was this unmistakable hum of gossip behind him as he walked the corridors of Malhotra and Association' towards his cabin.
He plopped himself down on his leather chair, twirling his mobile in his, in deep thought. Shravan Malhotra ko neecha dekhane ka yeh hi nateeja hota hai, Mrs. Suman Malhotra!'. He chuckled to himself one last time before picking up the first case file on his desk and getting to work.
It proved to be a long day for him, he studied and worked on cases upon cases, and it took a call from Papa' at ten in the night to remind him that he did have to return home eventually. He knew, subconsciously that Papa wouldn't let him off the hook so easily for his behavior in front of the media. There were such things as Public etiquettes, especially for the rich and successful like them, and he knew he had violated some of those for which he was in for a lecture from his father dearest. So he sighs, picking up his coat from the back of the chair and makes his way home.
He found himself wishing that the short distance to Malhotra Mansion would be longer, now that he sees Nanu and Mama-ji seated in his living room along with his distressed father and an annoyed Pushkar. And he knows that he was in for the longest lecture of his life. Nonetheless, he offers Nanu and Mama-ji a smile and reaches down to touch their feet. While the smile wasn't reciprocated, they didn't refrain from placing their hand on his head and whispering an almost inaudible Jeete raho'. Apart from that silence heavily prevailed in the room.
Shravan sees Nanu nudge his son from his peripherals and wonders what they are up to. Why hasn't anyone said anything yet. He was about to enquire Nanu about his visit when Mama-ji gives out a yell. "Suman Beta! Chalo der ho rahi hai!" He hears the door to his room slam shut, automatically drawing everyone's attention towards it. There Sumo comes out, lugging a single, wheeled suitcase behind her.
It dries Shravan's throat for some reason in a harsh and acidic way, watching her now. She looks like she had returned from a battle, with her hair ruffled, eyes bloodshot and posture down right defeated. She notices that she can't even bring herself to meet anyone's eyes. Her steps are small and light on the stairs, careful too as she drags her luggage. It makes him wonder if he too would be required to pack a duffel bag of his own and accompany her to wherever. Was another rasam that he could have to bear? He hears her sniff from when she reaches the bottom of the stairs and stop there unsure how to proceed.
"Tiwari-ji agar aap ek minute ke liye meri baat sun le toh-" Ramnath starts watching Mama-ji get up from his place and head towards Suman, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulder and slowly lead her towards the door. Nanu merely joins his hands together inform his former student.
"Aaj nahi Ramnath. Aaj nahi." He stands up on weak knees, assisted by Pushkar and joins his son and grand-daughter. Shravan doesn't miss the look of disappointed aimed at him.
Sharavan finally gets his senses working and is quick to ask "Papa aap"yeh sab kya-"
Ramnath too looks at him with the same disappointment that Nanu had given him. And it hurts. "Shravan tum chup hi raho ab toh acha hoga."
Finally, he puts the pieces of the puzzle together and realizes what this all was about. Sumo was leaving. Just like he had asked her too.
"Main aap logo ko chod deta hoon." Pushkar offers, grabbing his car keys from the table, and follows the trio out the door.
No sooner, had they left that Ramanath heavily plops down on the couch behind him, burying his face in the palm of his hand. Shravan knew that starting any conversation with his father right at the moment would be fruitless and perhaps could only end in misunderstanding. He couldn't be able to justify his behavior from earlier that day and Ramnath couldn't defend Suman either.
He does, however inform Ramnath about retiring to his room and asks him to do the same. It was late in the night anyway.
It's the first time in days that Shravan closes the door to his room without a bang. The silence in the room was soothing and the lack of Suman and her belongings felt liberating funnily. Finally, he could do whatever he wants in his room and have to justify or prove any of his actions. He steps out of his shoes, kicking one in this direction and the other in that, just for a little added satisfaction. His room was his again. Only his. The socks suffer the same fate and so does the neck tie. He hastily undoes a couple of the top button of his shirt, switches of the light and dozes off-phailke.
The bed feels cold and untouched. It disturbs him for a while. It wasn't warm and toasty like it was in the past few days and maybe it had something to do with the other occupant of his bed, but Shravan stubbornly decides that an empty bed was far, far better than a warm and welcoming one.
~
Suman dreaded heading back to Tiwari Killa because she knew what awaited her. Taunts and talks of being a burden. Once again, she had failed to give her family what they wanted -her riddance. And this was the second time. Her eyes are trained on the fast passing roads beside her, and she contemplates telling Pushkar to slow down, to buy her more time. Her heart was already heavy and she doesn't think she could handle another round of derision. All she wants in that moment is to curl up into a ball on her bed and just sleep.
It's the bang of the car door that brings her out of her reverie and she knees Mama-ji assisting Nanu out of the car, while Pushkar takes out the suitcase from the boot. "Arey Suman kaha kho gayi? Chalo, ghar aa gaya."
She had never in her life imagines Tiwari Killa as something dark or daunting, and yet that was exactly how it looked that night, looming over her like a monster awaiting its prey. Ghar didn't feel like ghar then.
Pushkar takes his leave after depositing her belongings by the door. He gives her a long look and she wonders if he was about to ask her to come back. Lord knows she would have agreed without a second's hesitant. And it makes her laugh at her own pathetic state. She has to remind herself that he didn't want her. No one did.
She hears clattering noises from the kitchen, as they enter the living room. Nanu sits on his accustomed place, and she sits beside Mama-ji, head still bowed and eyes filled with sudden tears.
"Suman aa gayi tum." Its statement more than a question from Mami-ji as she wipes her wet hands against the pallu of her saree. She takes in a deep breath, bracing herself for the onslaught of verbal attacks and clear her throat.
"Suman tum jaa kar aaram karo, tum thaki hui lag rahi hoo, aur bahut raat bhi ho gayi hai." Mamai-ji says rescuing her unknowingly. Or perhaps even knowingly if the pointed look he gave his wife was anything to go by.
There was something comforting about returning to her own room, the familiarity of it all, a warm embrace, the smell of her comforter, the pictures on her wall. She was back in her own, little world and once she latches the door behind her, she can be untouchable, indestructible and safe for a while. Just for a little while, she reminds herself, plopping down on the bed, utterly exhausted, soon falling into a restless slumber.
~
She wakes up to the clattering noise coming from the kitchen and a headache. It takes her a minute to gather her cognizance. She rubs the back of her hand against her eyes, ridding it of the sleep dust that had gathered in the corner of her eyes, and she warily becomes aware of her body burning up in slight fever. She contemplates lying in bed for a couple more minutes but then thinks better and decides to head to work. Work was good, work helped her forget, work was where she can be free. She pushes herself up, grabs the towel off the rack and begins her day as she usually would when she was Suman Tiwari.
She slips out the door, with a loud and quick announcement to all that she was heading to work. Any protests on her family's part was ignore and unheard as she quiet literally made a sprint to her car, which Pushkar had thankfully returned.
She gently rested the car in its reserved spot in front of the PCT kitchen, took in a deep breath, squared her shoulders and made her way in. Her staff knew better than to question her, they always knew better. But of course that didn't mean she was spared of their shy glances at her. She however tried her best to ignore them and kept her attention focused on the Excel spreadsheet on her computer. Or rather tried to keep her attention focused. Because the longer she stared on the monitor screen, the more her eyes watered and the more her head hammered. She rubs her eyes until she sees the colorful swirls behind her eye lids an open them again to stare at the time. It was just 11 am. She had just been to work for two hours and it already felt like a painfully long day. And if she was being honest with herself, the fever she so stupidly chose to ignore earlier was now higher.
She gives up after a while, she was just wasting time. And her head ache wasn't helping either. "Preeta mein thodi der ghadi mein so rahi hoon. Kisi ka phone aaya toh keh dena ki main meeting ke liye bahar gayi hoon. Theek hai?"
Preeta thoroughly worried for Sumo, nod in the affirmative. A little rest would do her good, she thinks and reassures her that she would handle everything in the Kitchen and deliver the tiffin's by herself. It brings a small smile on Sumo's face and Preeta is glad she could do that for her on the least.
Sumo climbs in on the backseat of her Jaan' and curls up in a fetal potion. The leather of the seat isn't the most comfortable material to rest on but she didn't mind it. She closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to envelop her but instead it evades her. She sighs heavily and keeps her eyes shut.
Sleep had evaded her. Fine. She wishes his thoughts would as well.
But his face is flashing like lightning in her mind. "Where did it all go wrong Sumo? Kaha?" he asks her. She can even feel how he could cup her face as he would ask that question and how his brows would furrow and his eyes would glisten.
"Can't we make it all right again?" he throws another question at her.
It makes her smile, because he was being her Shravan again, the caring one. She had an answer and an apology ready on the tip of her tongue. But then she watches in horror as his kind eyes warped and turn heinous and hatred filled. "I HATE YOU SUMAN TIWARI!"
Suman wakes up with a gasp, the air in the car too stifling all of a sudden. She fumbles with the door handle before it finally gives away and open up, letting sweet, fresh oxygen in.
WORK! She needs to work and get rid of this thoughts! She decides and hurries back inside her solace, PCT.
~
Shravan sub consciously reaches out to the far right side of the bed, looking for something even he isn't sure about. Upon finding the side, cold and empty, he tiredly opens one eye and checks under the rumbled quilt. It's then that his actions strike him, and no, they don't make him happy. His chest huffs up in annoyance for even having such thoughts and he roughly throws the blanket off of him, and heavily stomps to the bathroom and get ready for the day.
Office, once he was done with breakfast didn't seem as tempting as an option as it did while he was in the shower. But he concurs, that work would help keep his mind occupied and well it was better than doing nothing. So he rings up his secretary and asks him to drop off all his pending case files at home.
Worked on a two cases well into the afternoon. Had his lunch at its designated time because Chachi, pulled him by the ear and forced him too and promptly when back to work again.
There were nonetheless, a few moments where he lost his focus, and the words in his file jumbled to form her face on the white page. He had to shut the files several times and rub his eyes angrily to rid of her image but it seemed almost as if she had left a mark on his mind permanently. When he did open his eyes, the day was nearing its end and Ramnath was sitting next to him, a worried expression on his face. "Shravan. Shravan yeh kya halat banali hai tumne apni?" He says pointing towards his loosed tie and creased shirt. Shravan for the umpteenth time that day, wipes the corners of his eyes and manages to spurt out a reply.
"Kuch nahi Papa, bas pata nahi, kab aakh lag gayi. Don't worry, I am done working for the day." He shuts off his laptop, gathers up all the files and announces that he was retiring to bed.
"Par khana toh kha ke jao."
He scrunches up his nose in distate, one hand resting on his tummy. "Bhookh nahi hai, Papa. Bas bahut neend aa rahi hai."
Ramnath had come with the good intention of confessing his mistakes to his son. He had asked Bahadur about Shravan's whereabouts as soon as he had returned for Malhotra and Associates. But upon finding his son, in the lawn, dozing off on a file, all his resolve melted away. He couldn't lose his son, not yet. Not today. It just makes his heart heavier, keeping Shravan in the dark like this, but how could he break his heart when he was looking so peaceful, sleeping almost like a child. Ramnath decides that the truth could wait. That he could live with his guilt for another day.
~
Suman did have to return home, eventually. And she did, though it was later than her usual time. Her head was heavily pounding by the time PCT closed and she had to take an Auto back home, not trusting herself on driving responsibly. She announced her presence through Tiwari Killa, before rushing off to her room. Her legs felt weak and she was sure that in another couple of steps she would fall, so it better be on her bed rather the cold hard floor.
She pulls open the medicine drawer in her room, suppressing a frustrated groan upon finding it empty of any fever medicines.
"Bukhaar hai na?" A voice comes from her door and she turn to see Mami-ji standing there, holding out a packet of medicine.
"Mami-ji woh-"
"Jaante hai hum. Jab bhi tum aise stress main hoti ho, toh tumhe bukhaar chad jaata hai."
Suman gives Mami-ji a sheepish smile, remembering all the time she was down with the fever, especially before her math exams. She takes the tablets offered and mutters a small. "Thank you Mami-ji'
"Haan, haan. Thek hai. Tum bas ab yeh dawai lo aur so jao. Hum tumse kal baat karege." She wasn't being sarcartic nor was she being sympathetic. She was simply being Mama-ji, in her own way and leaves Suman to her own devices.
Suman gives Mami one last smile, before reaching for the water pitch on her bedside table. She was about to gulp down the medicine, when she thought that a sleeping pill would be a good idea too. She was having trouble sleeping anyway. So perhaps, while the anti-pyretic would reduce her fever, the sleeping pill would help her sleep. And she was certain she would feel a hundred and ten percent better in the morning.
And she gulps down the pills with water.
~
It was about 9 in the night when Mama-ji went to check up on his niece. He knew that she tried putting up a brave faade in front of them, lest they worry and stress over her, she had always done that, even as a child. But he knew in his heart, that she was worse than she was letting on.
He knocks on the door to her room, once and then twice upon receiving no answer.
She wouldn't have fallen asleep so quickly, he was sure. Manju had just given Suman the medicines about twenty minutes ago. "Suman, beta?" He pushes the door gently. It was left unlocked so he gathers that she wasn't actually asleep, perhaps. "Suman?" he calls out to her again, before walking in.
And the sight in front of him numbs him to his core.
There Suman was, lying on the floor, white foam bubbling out the corner of her lips.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Well, guys, I have decided to stop this chapter right here with a promise to hopefully update it soon. I am unsure whether this will turn out to be an TS or SS. But do drop in your comments and let me know if this is any good.
Constructive criticism is always welcomed.
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Anupamaa
Kumkum Bhagya
