OS- 'I cannot see her tears'

Hello YHMians😃..This is my very first attempt at writing an OS😊..I have never written any story before..but I truly love Ishra so much that I have decided to make an attempt finally⭐️..In fact you wonderful and lovely writers out there have inspired me to write an OS😳..Here is a humble attempt from my side😊.. Please feel free to leave any comments/suggestions/feedback..😃

Raman dialogues in blue and Ishita dialogues in Red😊

OS-"I cannot see her tears"

It was a late rainy evening when Raman returned home..The house was completely pitch dark and it seemed like it was drowned in darkness..He tried switching on the lights, but his efforts went in vain..It occurred to him that it may be a power outage as the rains were terribly lashing out..It seemed like the rain gods were crying to their heart's content..

He slowly walked towards the kitchen to see if he could spot some source of light..It seemed like the house was in pin drop silence..the only sounds heard could be of the thunder and lightning from the heavy rain outside..He failed to find a candle and then decided to walk towards to his room.."Where is everyone?" he wondered, as he was accustomed to the usual chaos in his home..He peeked into his parent's room and sibling's room, only to see that there was no sign of anyone.."Maybe all are at the Iyers' place" he thought..He decided to give a call to Ishita to find out where everyone is..He walked toward's his room, with his cell phone light being the only source of light for him..As he approached his door, he found that it was three-fourth closed..He also realized that the only sounds that he could hear was no longer the thunder and lightning..He placed his ears close to the door..stood very stealthily like a statue to capture the sounds of what he could hear..In the silence of the night, he could hear soft sobs at regular intervals..Instantly he recognized that it was his Jhansi ki Rani's voice..He did sense something was seriously wrong..

She never broke down in front of him..The only time she did was when she realized that the adoption committee wouldn't let her adopt a child..and the harsh realization that she could never be a mother..He had felt very guilty that night when he had told her "You don't deserve a child"..She was indeed the perfect mother for his Ruhi..She was very much aware that she can never be able to bear a child ever..She had bottled up so much pain within her, still she always maintained such a calm and composed attitude and the smile never left her face..

Snapping back to reality, he realized that he had to confront her.."But would she reciprocate? Will she ever share her heart's joys/sorrows with me? After all, I have never given a single gesture of care and concern towards her..She has done so much for Ruhi and me..She is the main reason I have realized the lovely bond I share with my daughter..Do I have the right to ask her after the way I have treated her all these days?" ..Various conflicting emotions swooned in his mind..Finally, he stood up firm, " I have to understand what's bothering her..This is the least I can do for all that she has done for me.." he thought and dodged all the conflicting thoughts aside, and decided to confront her..

He locked his phone to avoid the light..slowly opened the door, trying to avoid any sound..The door slightly creaked, but at the same time, there was a heavy splurge of thunder which blended perfectly with the creaking noise.. He walked in stealthily like a thief..As he was walking he observed her..He could see a dark figure standing facing the window..As he walked more closely, he observed her beautiful pale white face in the light reflecting from a distant source..He noticed tears trickling down her face uncontrollably..It saddened his heart to see her in so much pain..His subconscious mind wanted to hug her tightly and reconcile her that everything would be alright..

He finally approached her closer and was facing her back..He slowly waved his right hand and gently held her right shoulder and said "Ishita..". His touch against the bare part of her shoulder, suddenly jolted her back to reality..and she turned slowly to face him..But she couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her eyes, and at the same time she couldn't meet his gaze..He held both her shoulders and moved an inch closer to her.."Kya hua Ishita?..tum ro kyon rahi hoon?"..he asked her with a look of worry on his face..She continued to sob uncontrollably, and he jerked her up slowly.. "Kya hua Ishita?..please mujhe batao..Agar tum nahi bolungi toh mujhe kaise pata chalega ke tumhaare pareshani kya hai?"..

She could no longer contain it in her..She finally decided to drop loose her emotions.."Raman..kya yeh meri galti hai ke mai maa nahi bansakti hoon..Maine thodi jaanboojkar aisa kuch kiya kya..Pata hai Raman..jab doctor ne meri amma se kaha tha ke aapki beti kabhi maa nahi bansakti hai, tab maine is baat ko meri takdeer samajh ke uske saath samjhauta karliya tha..Mai jaanti hoon ke mai kabhi bhi maa nahi bansakti hoon..Aur maine is baat ko sweekar bhi karliya hai ke I can never be a mother..Par phir kyon baar baar log mujhe is baat ki ehsaas dete hai..Kyon har koi mujhe yeh sochne par majboor kardete hai ke mujhe yeh ehsaas kabhi nahi hopayega.. Mai jab bhi is baat se door bhaagne ki koshish karti hoon, kyon koi mujhe usi situation mei phir se daldete hai" ..

She could never become a mother..It is indeed a very harsh reality for a woman.."People say that a woman's life is complete only when she becomes a mother"..He realized that how tormenting it must have been for her..How could someone be so insensitive to rekindle her pain he wondered..The tears continued to trickle down..He felt dejected that his brave Jhansi was grief stricken and his grip tightened on her shoulders..He slowly held her hand, and made her sit down on the sofa beside the window..He slowly moved his hand and gently pulled her chin up..Her eyes still didn't meet his eyes..He could sense a lot of pain in those eyes which were now had a tinge of red from all the crying..His subconscious mind wanted to drink away all her pain..

He spoke "Shhh " he said softly.."Meri taraf dekho Ishita aur please suno meri baat.." His comforting voice soothened her grief stricken heart..She slowly raised her eyes up to meet his..Unknowingly his thumb went and wiped the tears first from the right half of her face..She instantly looked up at him with wonder and then he rubbed the left half of her face..Her sobs reduced..She had never seen this gesture of her Raavan Kumar ever before..For once, he was not yelling, fighting or mocking her..

He spoke "Ishita..Mere liye or mere parivaar ke liye tum perfect maa hoon..Tumne meri beti ke liye woh kiya hai jo kisi bhi aurat shaayad kabhi bhi nahi kar sakti hai" Her eyes lit up, though tears were still stung in them.."Mera yakeen mano..Ek bacche ko sirf janam dene waali maa nahi banjaati..Aise bhi so called "maa" ko maine dekh liya hai[giving a sarcastic smirk, and referring to Shagun]..Par tumne meri beti..wait a minute..woh ab sirf meri beti nahi hai..humari beti hai Ishita..Tumne itna pyaar diya Ruhi ko, ke woh tumhe apni maa kehne lagi..Tum dono maa-beti ka na dil ka rishta jud gaya hai..Sirf janam dene se rishta nahi banjaata hai Ishita..tumhaare aur Ruhi ke beech mei usse bhi kahi jyada mayine ek rishta hai..aur woh hai DIL SE DIL ka rishta..Aur logon ka kya..Unka kaam hi kehna hai..Mere aur mere parivaar ke liye tum kya mayine rakte ho, yeh koi baharwale kabhi bhi nahi samjhpayenge..Aur agar unhe samjhna nahi toh bhaad mei jaaye..Par tum hamaare liye bahut important ho Ishita..mei sach keh raha hoon..mera yakeen karo..Ruhi promise"..Saying that he held his throat, indicating that he really meant his promise..

She was completely out of words..She couldn't believe what her Raavan had just said to her..Suddenly he seemed this entirely different person..A person who valued her..Someone who was concerned about her tears..Someone whom she could confide in..She found solace just listening to his words..Subconsciously she wanted to embrace him tightly and blend with that blissful moment.."Thanks Raman" she uttered with a slight smile on her face.. "Thank God..finally toh hasee..waise bhi naa..ek baat pata hai..Tum naa Jhansi ki Rani jaise hi acche lagte ho..Yeh rona dhona tumhe suit nahi karta"..he said jokingly in an attempt to lighten up her mood..She smiled again with a tinge of blush..He continued "Waise ghar ke saare log kahe hai? Koi dikh nahi raha hai..".."Woh Pammi aunty ke beti Pooja hai na..uski bacche ke paida hone par aunty ne kuch puja rakka tha..Wahi sab gaye hai..".."Accha..Let me guess..isse pehle ki tum waha jao,kya tumhari mulaakat Baala ki maa se hua Ishita?"..She looked at him in surprise and nodded her head in a yes.."tabhi toh.." He said.."I knew it..Duniya ki saare kadvi baatein shaayad yeh ek hi aurat kar sakti hai..Is saari duniya mai woh ek hi hai villain tere life mei..Mujhse toh behter ho..mere toh do do villains hai..Joh mera jeena haram karke rak diya hai.."..She slightly laughed at his attempts to lighten up her mood..."Acha jaldi se taayar ho jao..hum oopar Pammi ke aunty ke ghar ki function mei abhi jaa rahe hai"..Ishita was all perplexed "Par Raman, mai waha kaise jaa sakti hoon?..Maine kaha na..".."Tumne kuch nahi kaha..Baala ki mom ne sab kuch kehdaala aur tune maan bhi liya..Pata nahi tum uski baaton ko itni seriously kyon leti hoon..Tum jaanti hoon na woh kaise hai?..Kya Pammi aunty ne tumhe aane se roka..Nahi na..Pammi aunty sab kuch jaanti hai Ihsita..woh meri maa ki sabse kareebi dost hai..Jab usse koi problem nahi hai toh tum itna kyon soch rahi hoon..Please ab mere saath behas mat karo meri Jhansi..aur please ab phir se lecture shuru mat kar dena" he said folding his hands in front of her..She said "Raman...par..Accha theek hai..mai tayyaar ho jati hoon"..She smiled lightly coupled with a blush and moved towards the bathroom to freshen up..

As she walked she felt that relief and her heart felt very light indeed..It was her first confession of her feelings to her Raavan..and it immensely pleased her to see how considerate and caring he was..He rekindled emotions of a strange kind within her..Emotions which made her realize that he was her solace..His comforting words had indeed strengthened her..As she walked away a thousand emotions conflicted in Raman's mind..Had he just spoken his heart out to Ishita..he wanted to only comfort her, but he realized her tears really had an effect on him..An effect so deep that he didn't realize the words coming out of his mouth..He had gone so far as to say that she was very important for him..and Ruhi was no longer his daughter but their daughter..Realization that dawned upon him was that he can never see his Jhansi in tears..