Jnam Journal: Includes my Views of specific shows or episodes - Page 3

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Posted: 7 years ago
#21
A sacrificial lamb
Some people are meant to serve as sacrificial lambs. Their sole, practical purpose in life is to be a ritual sacrifice towards the fulfilment of the wishes of another. Gulrez too is such a character in the show "Mohabbat, Tumse Nafrat Hai" (Love, I hate you). Right from the moment we were first introduced to him five episodes ago, he has been presented as someone who is aware of an intense love for our heroine, Maheen. We do not know why he feels so drawn to her. So far, she has been revealed as a superficial, attention-loving, somewhat spoilt person who is also a trifle bossy to those around her. While entitled, however, she is never shown to be unkind to those around her. In short, we as audience members can root for her with ease. although her forced spunkiness is starting to wear me out already.

Gulrez, as I indicated, is shown to be hopelessly in love with her. He is a mild-mannered, guileless young man with little experience of the world. He seems devoted to his ancient jalopy to a self-damaging degree (evidenced by the amount of hard-earned money he is willing to spend on the said jalopy's repairs). No scene has been shown so far in the show which spells out the exact reasons for such passionate feelings in Gulrez for either Maheen or his car. Through his devotion to his car, I think, the makers meant to show to us his passionate, devoted nature which is otherwise well concealed behind his shy, calm facade. As he is willing to bear all costs for "Foxy" (his tired automobile), so too will be the case with Maheen, we seem to have been warned. While I was initially seeking some rational basis for such passion in Gulrez (for Maheen), I now realize that in such instances, rationality is quite besides the point. Our deepest feelings can often be without real reason or rationale. Mere slights can cause us lasting pain while the most abject of cruelties can leave us unscathed. Similarly, with love. The briefest of moments can ignite in a person a fiery passion or longing that is without any parallel. Some such stray moment may have lit the divine spark of love in Gulrez although this is something we might never know.

Maheen is, as yet, unaware of the depth of Gulrez's feelings. Had that been the case, I think, she would have been more careful with him. Her flippant manner so far suggests that Maheen is still unaware of love, longing, pain, and how these emotions can shatter some fragile souls like Gulrez is thought to be. His sister, on the other hand, seems aware of both the frailty of her own sibling, as well as the pain of unrequited love and its unending longing. Maybe she too had experienced it although her husband's words in today's episode suggest that the love between them was swift, practical and accessible to both partners. Possibly there was another love in her past before her husband that she still feels shackled to against her wishes? Or, quite possibly, she is fearful for her delicate, unsullied brother like a watchful parent is for their young child as he starts to step out into the world, unaware of its frequent cruelties and ability to mercilessly crush the delicate? Being deeply bound to Gulrez may also have lent his sister a sense of foreboding about his future pain. The scene in the mausoleum of a celebrated priest where she is shown praying and crying for her brother's sake suggests that she might have become aware of something ominous in her beloved Gulrez's future. Clearly, the makers have made all efforts to make us aware of the sad end that awaits our lovelorn Gulrez. If ever there was a character that could rightfully say "Love, I hate you", it is Gulrez! I therefore, wish that he was in the centre of the title visual instead of Maheen because clearly, the one who will be martyred for love will be Gulrez, not the other two characters for whom awaits (I think) a delayed but blissful, earthy love.

Unlike Gulrez's inexplicable self-awareness, both Maheen and Waqar are clueless about their deeper selves and their yearnings. I believe that as the series progresses, these two will find their inner selves whittled by time and various experiences to the point that they start to look like mirrored halves that belong together. As they become aware of their need to be with each other, they will also become cognizant of the pain that will be Gulrez's share because, I think, the real tragedy for Gulrez (that will send him down the path of self-annihilation) will not be the fact that Maheen cannot return his affections. His doom will lie in the realization that no one on this earth can complete him. He will, I think, realize that he is one of the few that the god's rendered incomplete, unlike Maheen and Waqar, who are two halves of the same whole. Therefore, Gulrez will have to contend with a relentless, unaltered feeling of emptiness that will, I think, slowly detach him from the very world that he is currently so fervently drawn to. Death, of course, will be his final, merciful release from this unfulfilling existence, as is the case for sacrificial lambs that are brought into this world solely to be vehicles for someone else's prayers and desires. Their blood, body and souls are in service of other, often lesser, beings who use them to please the gods into fulfilling their deepest desires. The desires of the ritual sacrifices, of course, remain unacknowledged and unfulfilled. Gulrez too, appears to be such a sacrifice at the altar of Maheen and Waqar's love. After an unfulfilled existence whose sole purpose, it seems, was to make Maheen and Waqar aware of their love for each other, he will seek a swift exit from this world for himself as well as an earthly union for Maheen and Waqar. HIs pain, I think, will be the vital ingredient that will appease the gods into acquiescing to his friends' togetherness.

Most of what I have said above is based on my stringing together of promotional clips and the five episodes that have aired so far using an admittedly overactive imagination. I have in this write uppresented that story. It remains to be seen whether the story I have outlined is, indeed, the one the writers want told.
Edited by JNam - 7 years ago
Aatra.. thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#22
Jnam! ❤️ I finally caught up with this blog of yours and do I need to say it's amazing!? Looking forward to more from you!
sanashau thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#23
Where are you from jnam? It will make me understand your views better. Love reading them!
JNam thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#24

Originally posted by: Aatra..

Jnam! ❤️ I finally caught up with this blog of yours and do I need to say it's amazing!? Looking forward to more from you!

Thanks! Your words made my day :-)
JNam thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#25

Originally posted by: sanashau

Where are you from jnam? It will make me understand your views better. Love reading them!

India from a little known sub-region, Kumaon Region, but been living in the West for a while now.

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Posted: 7 years ago
#26
"Love, I hate you": Deleted scenes from the script
Disclaimer: This script is a figment of my imagination. After having seen the first five episodes of the show, I find myself itching to add a few amateur strokes of my own to complete the picture of Gulrez, the lovelorn, guileless character around who the story's action revolves. This script is an outcome of one such effort.

Deleted Scene I:

Location: Gulrez's sister's house. Both Gulrez and his brother-in-law are comfortably ensconced in Foxy, that aged automobile who doubles up as Gulrez's loving companion.

Gulrez: You never asked me when I fell in love with her, or rather, when I became aware of having loved her?

Brother-In-Law: Does it matter?

G: To me, it does.

BIL: So shoot.

G: I was reading a memoir by a monk about how he finally, after years of living a counter-culture lifestyle, yielded to his inner voice to undertake a spiritual journey. It began with his travelling to eastern cultures, and ended with him embracing a monastic existence, his true love.

BIL: And all that informed you about your very earthy, carnal desire to be with a woman? I think you may have completely misread the book. (Smiles as he ribs Gulrez)

G: I knew you'd make that joke. Anyhow, that book truly hit home the idea that we might be destined for something bigger, more elaborate than mere earthly existence. That in our limited time in this world, we may have work to do, loves to find.

BIL (with a smile): Loves? Plural? I am starting to doubt your intentions. You seem to have plans for a nice James Bond style, philandering lifestyle. Let me warn you: if you do indeed end up with this girl of your dreams, she will whip you to shreds is she becomes aware of this desire of yours.

G: Are you going to be serious about this? Or should I tell Foxy my story? (In that outburst, one could see the boy he still was, who was enthused by a new Foxy he had found for himself.)

BIL: Please continue. Henceforth, my lips are sealed and ears unsealed.

G: So, as I read this book, I started to see similarities between my experiences and the monk's. Like him, I too had felt this slight unrest, emptiness gnawing inside me, this sense of being incomplete. Earlier I didn't think much of it. But the monk's words made me realize that maybe, by ignoring this emptiness, I was distancing myself from something very important. And then, one night, I had the strangest dream. I was sitting by a river, watching her waters dance to the tune of a swift current, when suddenly, I saw reflected in its waters, the moon. And just like that, I thought of her. Her name means the moon too, doesn't it. It was as if in those moving waters, I finally found the direction and reason for my being.

BIL: Don't you think you're being too dramatic, kid? Just because her name means the moon, it doesn't mean that she is your life's sole purpose. The monk, now, he was talking about loving the divine. That is much beyond and deeper than mere human love that you seem to seek with Maheen.

G: I know. But you see, that is just it. Much like you, I thought this all too fanciful. So, like a nice, rational person, I ignored my dream and my tug towards Maheen. And yet, it was as if the fates were conspiring to make me realize the importance of this dream. For the next few days, I couldn't escape this image of the moon and the river current. Every little thing seemed to take me back to that mental image. And the dream, it became a sort of constant. I kept having it, with subtle variations, each night. It was as if, the gods were conspiring to make me not forget or turn away from their desires. And you know what? The more I yielded, the lighter I felt. So, some fine moment, I gave in entirely. Since then, I know I have been "created for love" as a Sufi monk once said to me after an afternoon we spent dining together in some out of the way place.

BIL: He might have been uttering the first nonsense that came to him, you know. It doesn't mean much. It is you who give these pronouncements meaning by designing your life around them, and seeing some higher calling in them.

G: Such skepticism! I was that way too before I finally relented. I decided I will believe my instincts and let them and the gods lead me ahead, regardless of where that ahead is.

BIL: Sounds like you have become a monk yourself. A monk on a mission for a woman!

G: A monk on a mission to connect with himself and the divine. Maheen is the only way forward that I instinctively see.

BIL: Care for a snack? (Offerring Gulrez some roasted peanuts, which the latter happily accepts)

The scene ends with Gulrez lounging in the backseat with is eyes closed, while his BIL sits in the front looking at Gulrez's reflection in the rearview mirror with a pensive expression. The following notes spill out of Gulrez's phone:

"On learning the amazing saga of love, neither the frenzy (junoon) was left, nor did the sweetheart (pari) remain. I was me' no more, you were thee' no more; only a state of oblivion remained.

The gift of the Lord of Ecstasy' to me was a garb of nakedness. All that the wisdom had stitched was gone; the veil of madness no longer remained.

A sweeping wind, which came from beyond the visible world, consumed the visible garden with fire; just one branch on the tree of grief, which they call heart, despite the blaze retained its green.

I am speechless to complain about the indifferent and uncaring glances (nazar-e-taghaful-e-yaar) of my beloved; the wine of desire that filled the heart remained suppressed, concealed.

It was at a moment strange that I read a book of love; the book of reason, brushed aside, remained shelved and sheathed.

Your bewitching beauty, love, such a spell did cast; the mirror stood bereft of gloss and beauty seemed to freeze.

The fire of love reduced to ashes Siraj's voiceless heart; fears and cares got consumed, intrepid courage held the field."

Scene ends as the camera starts to move away from the men and Foxy.

PS: The above translation of Siraj Aurangadabi's poem is taken from the following blog: http://kashikeya.blogspot.ca/2012/03/na-junoon-raha-na-pari-rahi-by-siraj.html)


Deleted Scene II:
Location: Gulrez's sister and brother-in-law's room late at night.

GS: Did he really say that? About seeing Maheen in a dream?

BIL: Not really. He said he saw the moon, which he thinks means Maheen. He has a very active imagination, your brother.

GS: I have been concerned about his since the time mom was pregnant with him. I was all of 12, but I seemed to have been maternal even then. I would feel my mother's belly as it grew, and would often sing to the baby. Somehow, I knew this baby was mine, my child. And see, my reproductive inability has turned that to be true. Gulrez is really the only child I ever had or will have. He is my baby. (With those words, her eyes well up and she starts to look for a Kleenex. Her husband, sensing his wife's sadness, hastens towards her with a box of tissues.)

BIL: My darling, you know I never wanted anything from you but your presence in my life.

GS: I know, I know. It is just that I feel incomplete. As if the gods forgot to, or worse, chose not to, finish sculpting me before sending me to this world. I have this desire to mother, and none to direct it towards.

BIL: I thought Gully was the one (with an indulgent smile). He is like my son too, all the more so because he is connected to you. I could never be with another woman, even for a child, because that child would have no connect with you. I want a child that is yours, if not ours. That is the only progeny I long to parent.

GS: So Gully it will have to be.

BIL: Till Gully has his own little ones. I hope Maheen doesn't limit our access to them.

GS: No, she isn't mean that way. Just petulant and a bit spoilt by all the attention her parents have lavished on her. But deep down, she's a good soul.

BIL (with a smile): As good as our Gully boy?

GS: Gully is beyond merely good. He is this fragile being that is lent to us by the gods. I always worry they'll take him away from me. He is like an eternal lamp that takes away my inner darkness.

BIL: A lamp doesn't just bring light. It also brings a realization that the light it offers is far lesser in comparison to the all encompassing darkness we are surrounded by.

GS: True, but it still offers reprieve, and anchors us towards itself. We focus on the light it offers, how so ever limited, instead of the excessive darkness. The flame is our salvation. So is Gulrez to me. My reason for living, my little Gully.

BIL: I guess we should just adopt the tyke and his pet Foxy!

Scene ends with Gulrez's sister and her husband sitting on the couch, holding onto each other.

Deleted Scene III:
Location: The front porch of Gulrez's sister's house.

A sad Gulrez is staring at his down-at-heel vehicle, Foxy.

G: Foxy, it will have to be just the two of us, now and forever.

BIL: Stop it! Just stop being so morose. She doesn't love you? That's her loss. But you will find love.

G: Like my sister and you found your child?

BIL: Gulrez!

G: Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt. I just meant that in this life, some of us have to live with longing knowing well that we can never have what we long for. You and my sister yearn for a child of your own, while for some inexplicable reason, I yearn for Maheen. There is no sense to these yearnings. In fact, they are so counter-productive, inefficient, like my Foxy. But, they are our defining emotions and our constant companions. We'd sooner die than be without them. They are the lamps that make us aware of the all-encompassing darkness within us, and yet, if we didn't have this awareness, we'd be in a worse position. Unfulfilled without knowing why!

BIL: You can at least try to snap out of it?

GS: You think I don't want to, that I am a masochist? Nope. I have merely realized the futility of trying to snap out of it. There is no snapping out of this state of yearning. It is written into our destinies, yours, mine and my sister's. But, as my monk friend said, it is this very yearning that will help us retreat from the world, making our exist easier. Most people, otherwise, have a problem shedding this earthly existence to depart to the other world. We three will suffer this emptiness, but it will help make our departure easier. That's some bonus!

BIL: What are you doing next?

GS: I am leaving for Germany for a few months, and then, I think for America. After that, back to my sizer's, as always. (He finishes with a smile. His brother-in-law puts his arm around his shoulders, and leads him back into the house.)

Scene ends.

Edited by JNam - 7 years ago
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