Chapter 1:
Dr. Ashutosh entered his cabin, sat down in his chair and closed his eyes out of sheer fatigue. The surgery had been too grueling and had lasted more than 8 hours. He gave himself a brief respite before Dr. Jha and Dr. Kulkarni, who had come from other hospitals to assist him, joined him in his cabin for refreshments.
He reflected as he relaxed with his eyes closed. His life was just perfect at the moment and he felt that if anything, his life could only get better from now. He and Nidhi had celebrated their first wedding anniversary the day before and true to her unpredictability and impulsiveness, she had sprung a huge surprise on him that day. After they had dinner, they been strolling aimlessly by the riverside, when they saw an old lady selling some handmade dolls. Looking up at him, she beckoned the vendor and held a cute little baby boy doll in one hand and a girl baby doll in another. She asked him, as if talking about the weather, "So what you prefer, a boy or a girl?"
He looked at her askance, wondering if she was talking about the toys or ..? About 6 months earlier, when he had wanted to start a family, she had asked for 2 years to devote to her career. Although, initially, he had very reluctantly granted her the two years, he had been happy that he had. Seeing her dedication to her profession and her God-given talents of correct diagnosis and treatment, he realized that had he not accepted to wait to start their family, he would have regretted it as the biggest mistake of his life. Only 6 months had passed since then. There were still some 18 months to go, weren't there?
But as he looked at her wondering, he heard her say in a slightly annoyed voice, "Dr. Ashutosh, why are you looking at me like that? I think I asked a fairly simple question."
He had been still confused though and so was unable to utter a word. Finally, Nidhi had returned the toys to the vendor and sent her away. She sighed and said, "Yes Dr. Ashutosh, I am ready to start our family."
Ashutosh had looked at her with a myriad of emotions playing in his eyes. Extreme happiness and gratefulness were obvious but more than anything, else, he had a question. Why had she suddenly changed her decision? Was she feeling guilty about refusing him? Was she sacrificing her happiness for his, yet again?
But one look at her eyes had given him all the answers he needed. For the first time, he had seen a maternal yearning, a desire to be a mother, in her eyes. He would never forget that look in her eyes. He had automatically broken into the most effervescent smile he ever had given her. She had returned it with an awkward, shy smile of her own. It had really amused him - she was so casual while talking about babies, and later at his acknowledgement she had felt embarrassed. But then, that was his Nidhi! Impish one moment and shy the very next!
If their life for the past year had been bliss, their future life with the prospective addition would be what anyone would term as Paradise'!, Ashutosh smiled to himself. The smile of a man totally content with his life.
His reverie was broken by a knock on the door. As his colleagues sat down, the refreshments too were served by the cafeteria guy. Ashutosh picked up his intercom "Mallika, you free now? Actually we just wrapped up the surgery and are relaxing in my cabin now."
"I will join you shortly", said Mallika before hanging up.
As soon as he replaced the receiver on its cradle, Dr. Jha commented, "really i feel bad for her."
Ashutosh nodded, "but she took a wise decision to return to Lucknow. She's fine now."
Mallika had returned after a traumatic marriage. Thanks to the efficient legal system of the US, she had got a speedy divorce from Jagan, especially, since she had waived the rights to alimony. She just didn't want to have anything to do with Jagan. Heartbroken, she had returned to Lucknow and had very hesitantly contacted Ashutosh.
Ashutosh and Nidhi together had helped her recover. Nidhi had encouraged her to speak out her mind and heart to her. She was a very patient and companionate listener as Mallika told her of her woes of torture. Rather than physical, her wounds were psychological, especially coming on the heels of her disappointment with her 12-year old one sided love.
Ashutosh had been surprised to see the comradie between the two most important women of her life. The way Mallika sought Nidhi for everything and the way Nidhi encouraged Mallika to engage in activities of her interest and to generally live her life to the fullest, and take advantage of lack of family responsibilities and singledom, was just stupendous. Only his Nidhi could have changed Mallika's attitude so much, thought Ashutosh proudly. Though, to give Mallika her due credit, it seemed that the painful experiences of her life, had made her see everything, including Nidhi and their relationship, in a new light. Gone was the bitter, selfish Mallika of the yesteryears. Now she never crossed the limits in their friendship. For the first time in life probably, Ashutosh had enjoyed a burden-free friendship with her and it only made his perfect life more so.
Another knock sounded on the door. Mallika entered and asked the trio about the surgery. They all explained the intricacies involved. For a few seconds, it had been touch and go. But they had averted the crisis. Ashutosh was satisfied with the way the surgery had gone and had high hopes. Mallika smiled and congratulated the trio on the success of such a complex and risky surgery.
Dr. Kashyap sighed, "And to think that just a few days back, the patient's family was considering and indirectly eeven hinted at mercy killling.."
"Oh I know,. Ever since Supreme Court has permitted passive euthanasia, everyone seems to be considering it. It's like today passive euthanasia is legalized, so tomorrow even euthanasia will be, given the public pressure ", quipped Ashutosh deprecatingly.
"I agree, but don't you think some cases may be genuine?" Mallika reflected aloud.
Dr. Jha agreed, "Yes. But again, that's a ambiguous area, isn't it Dr. Malllika?"
She didn't get his point. "Means?"
"I mean, who will take that decision, whether it's a genuine case or not?"
She shrugged her shoulder, "why of course, only in extreme cases.."
Dr. Jha raised his eyebrows in a friendly challenge, "Again, define extreme'"
Mallika rolled her eyes with a slight laugh and shrugged.
Dr. Kashyap reflected, "Hmm.. actually it's a debatable subject. Let's take the case of Aruna Shanbaug.. from where it all started in India. Journo Pinky says she was as good as dead and had been for decades, before she died recently, but the hospital staff at KEM are of the opinion that she still seemed to be quite happy and peaceful at times..."
Mallika asked, "Dr. Kashyap, what's your personal opinion?"
"A rather tough one, that, Dr. Mallika, but frankly, when she died, I couldn't help myself thinking, what did her existence in a comatose condition for 42 long years achieve really? For her, or anyone else for that matter?"
"So, you would have favoured euthanasia?" Mallika wanted to clarify.
Her colleague nodded uncomfortably, but added, "but, mind you, this is strictly my personal opinion, not a professional one."
Mallika then looked at Dr. Jha, who too nodded, though a little reluctantly.
Mallika said "I really think even euthanasia should be legalized.. I mean, yes there would need to be strict laws governing the decision and..", she stopped mid-sentence at the look on Ashutosh's face, "Dr. Ashutosh..?"
He had been silently observing the conversation and said somewhat incredulously, "I don't mean any offence, but frankly, I'm just amazed at all your views! Have you considered the consequences of such an Act or laws? Everyone would want amendments to the Act or laws to suit their own case. Do any of you realize that such laws would legalize suicide? And the result... I can almost hear the new channels blaring with 100s of euthanasia petitions from senior citizens to disabled people to even simply people who are just plain depressed.. Complete and utter chaos will reign!"
Though momentarily stunned, Mallika would not give up, "But, what if there's no chance of any recovery? What's if it's a totally hopeless case!"
Ashutosh countered, "okay picture this - today, you killed a patient in the name of euthanasia, and tomorrow, a new miracle cure is invented? Haven't you just committed a cold blooded murder?"
Mallika was shocked by this reasoning, "Oh.. ohh my goodness!.. Of course Ashutosh.."
Ashutosh asserted, "Believe me friends, the day euthanasia is legalized, would probably be the most insulting day for our profession! At least that's my opinion. Because, in effect, it would mean that we have no hope for a cure, and that we can never find a cure for a disease. In short, it spells FAILURE of our profession, the noblest profession."
All three nodded solemnly in acquiescence, a new respect for Ashutosh in their eyes. He, however, looked a bit distractedly at his watch and got pensive. Where was Nidhi? Her appointment with Dr. Chatterjee was in a while. Nidhi had recently completed her internship at KGH, and was offered a position by the management. But to avoid complications in their work life, given that they were married and there would be a wide gap between their professional standing, they had decided that she should work at CCHH instead. Yesterday, they had both decided to get a thorough medical check-up done, now that they were planning a family. He had already got his done this morning and Nidhi had decided to come after her shift.
Just then Nidhi entered and greeted everyone. Mallika promptly got up from her chair next to Ashutosh and offered it to her, while she scooted over to the next. But Nidhi asked, "Did I interrupt some important discussion?"
"Oh no, not at all Dr. Nidhi. We were just having a general about euthanasia. Now that you are here, lets see what you have to say about it." Dr. Jha wanted to know as soon as she sat down.
Nidhi, true to her nature began without any preliminaries, "Frankly Sir, I hate that term. I mean, there's hardly any difference between killing and euthanasia. I don't give a sh.. (she bit her tongue) I.. I mean I don't give a damn about the 'no possible cure and endless suffering' crap. I strongly feel that no matter what life dishes out, it doesn't make sense to just throw it away. Till a patient is breathing, there's always hope and while there's hope of a cure, there's always a chance at a happy fulfilled life." She looked at her husband as if to see what he thought about her reply and saw him beaming proudly at her.
Dr. Jha, though impressed, wanted to hear more of her views. He was always curious to know her, to try and understand what made these two people who were as different as chalk and cheese, fall in love and get married. "But what about those people whose life is nothing but a living hell?"
Nidhi was silent for a full minute before she said, "you know Sir, I often wonder, when we die, would God ask us, 'so how was heaven?'"
All including Ashutosh were stunned looked up at her with a new admiration. Dr. Jha simply said, "Dr. Ashutosh I admit I truly envy you. Oh, you are such a lucky man!"
Ashutosh smiled in acknowledgement. Dr. Kashyap looked at the couple and reflected, "by the way, do your views ever contradict?"
Without thinking, Nidhi blurted out, "All the time!" while Ashutosh glared at her and all the three burst out laughing.
Mallika said placing a protecting arm over Nidhi's shoulder, "oh I can imagine. He's not called Dr. Hardstone without reason!" and gave Ashutosh a teasing smile.
Ashutosh teased back, "Dr. Mallika, why not ask your protege how much she fights with me and for no reason!"
"I don't need to ask. She's the sweetest person I have ever come across! I am sure you must be the one fighting. You and your famous temper!" she sighed dramatically.
Nidhi too got in a teasing mood, "that's true Dr. Mallika. (Lowering her voice so that only Ashutosh and Mallika could hear her since they were sitting on either side of her). You know what I call him behind his back, especially after we have a fight?"
Malika raised her eyebrows questioningly. Nidhi leaned over to her ear and whispered, "Khadoos!" Both the women burst out giggling.
Just then Ashutosh dropped a file and both he and Nidhi bent to pick it up. "Should I tell them how we enjoy making up after a fight", he whispered impishly and winked, before he sat up with the most dignified straight face, while she was left a bit red faced. But he had effectively stopped her from poking fun at him!
Just then, the visiting doctors took their leave and the three friends chatted on.
Mallika pushed a plate to Nidhi, "why are you not taking anything Nidhi."
Nidhi smiled, "I just don't feel like.. I will just have this tea" and took a sip only to make a face. She had been feeling nauseous.
"Mallika I just don't know what to do with her! She doesn't eat much these days and then she feels fatigued", Ashutosh complained.
Mallika frowned, "Fatigue?"
"Oh Dr. Mallika, you know he is. He just worries too much about me. It's nothing. I just get tired because the past 2 months I am working with the childrens' ward and all that running around.. you know..?"
"Don't tell me..childrens' ward never tired you Nidhi! In fact you were most energetic while working in that ward here." Mallika was slightly worried now.
"Chill Dr. Mallika, I am fine."
Just then the intercom rang and Ashutosh picked up."Hello.. yes Dr. Chatterjee she's right here. I will bring her in." and hung up.
"Dr. Chatterjee is waiting Nidhi, let's go!"
She looked up at him thoroughly confused, "Dr. Chatterjee is waiting for what?"
Now he was shocked, "obviously for you to get your full body check up started. What else?"
"Oh sorry I forgot!" she said sheepishly and followed him out. As they both left the cabin, Mallika stared after them anxiously.
The next day, Ashutosh left early as he and Nidhi had plans to go shopping. He requested Mallika to collect both their reports from Dr. Chatterjee. She collected them and out of friendly concern went over both of their reports. Her expression grew graver as she perused one. She decided to be sure. She called up Dr. Chatterjee and the two talked for several minutes.
A lone tear rolled down her eye as she hung up.
Edited by sshirley - 9 years ago
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