TDBU #3 [An AR FF] - (Track 66 to 69 - Page 82/83) - Page 59

Track 61 - Aankhon Se Batana, Dikshant

"Shall we?" Rahul asked, offering his arm to Armaan, who laughed, but took it nonetheless.

"We shall," Armaan agreed, and together, the two best friends stepped inside… Back in time, back home, back in Sanjeevani… After so many years away. Armaan stood there, right at the entrance, the locker room to his left, the nurse station straight ahead, just a few paces away, and breathed in deeply. The familiar smell of antiseptic mixed with the citrusy freshness of Sanjeevani's orange flavoured air freshener welcomed him home. It was soothing, he realized, the knowledge that in the time he'd spent away, Sanjeevani had stayed the same. The walls were still the same yellow he remembered them being last, the locker room still as red, the nurse station just as he was used to seeing it.

When he closed his eyes, he was sure he could hear Muskaan's weird laughter echoing in the air at one of Champ's songs, while Anjali cribbed at her husband, Shut up, Atul! reverberating in his ears. A second more, and he could hear Nikki argue with Abhi, both of them calling each other stupid names. One more moment, and Rahul's voice called to him, Ruk, saale! his best friend was shouting, running after him, because he'd been teasing Rahul just a moment before. And finally, finally, finally, there was the faint hum of his heart thudding wildly in his chest, the tinkling of Riddhima's payal surrounding him as she ran away from him, blushing deep after he'd kissed her cheek. Oyye hoyye, he mumbled in his dream, and opened his eyes when he realized he'd said it out loud.

"This place has not changed one bit," Rahul commented, gesturing to the pinks and blues they were surrounded by.

"It hasn't," Armaan whispered. "It's still home," he added, his hand automatically reaching to his chest, as he rubbed the skin over his heart. Being back here, it felt as if no time had passed at all. As if he was still in 2010. For a moment, he still felt like the Armaan who was getting ready to marry the love of his life. A strange sort of peace settled in his entire being as he looked around and took in more of the familiar surroundings. Home, everything in him breathed, achingly heart-breaking. This place was still his home, no matter how hard he'd tried to deny it.

"It will always be home, won't it?" Rahul wondered out loud, stealing the words right out of his mouth.

"It seems so," Armaan agreed. "But what a beautiful home."

"The best," Rahul answered.

The two of them walked side by side, mapping corridors that they knew better than the back of their hand. Every step unlocked a new memory, every breath bringing with it the laughter they'd shared, the tears they'd cried, the life they'd shared in those three glorious years.

"Hero!" Muskaan cried, pulling the duo out of their trip down memory lane.

"Heroine!" Armaan shrieked in return, opening his arms as she ran into them, hugging him tight.

"Welcome back," Muskaan said. "Sanjeevani has missed you."

"I've missed Sanjeevani," Armaan replied.

Rahul cleared his throat, making Armaan laugh, but he didn't let Muskaan go. Muskaan chuckled, hugging Armaan tighter. After another moment, fed up, Rahul pulled her away. "I'm here too, in case you two remember," he pouted.

"Awwww," Armaan cooed. "Sorry, Jaana. Are you feeling left out?"

One look at Muskaan and the two of them jumped on Rahul, hugging him tight enough to block his air. "Not so much!" Rahul managed to cry, pushing them both away.

Rahul turned to Muskaan, and for a moment, nobody else existed, not even Armaan. Muskaan blushed and ducked her head. Armaan laughed. Clearing his throat loudly, he said, "Okay mere Raj aur Simran… I get the message! You two want some alone time. I'll go!"

"Nahi, Hero… Aisa…" Muskaan started to protest only to be shut down by Armaan.

"Muskiiiii! Please. Don't try this with me. I understand. Of course you want to spend time together," Armaan smiled.

"But what about you?" Rahul worried.

"Okay, Dad," Armaan waved him off. "I'm a grown adult. And this is not my first rodeo here. This is my home, remember? I'll be fine!"

"Sure?" Rahul pressed.

"Sure," Armaan assured. Pushing them away, he said, "You kids go have fun!"

Chuckling, he walked away from the two of them, whistling a tune as he did. Finally alone, he wasted no time in finding the fire escape. Once there, he was assaulted with a million memories all at once. He was so overwhelmed that his knees gave out and he had to sit down on the steps to calm himself down. This fire escape had seen it all — his love, his pain, his longing, his happiness, hia laughter, and his tears. He suspected it was the same for Riddhima.

Even now, the ghost of their relationship seemed to linger there. He could see it clearly — him and Riddhima sitting on the step below him, wrapped in each other, oblivious to the rest of the world. When he turned, he saw himself pushing her against the wall and ducking his head into her neck. Shaking his head, he looked ahead, only to see his past self doing push-ups while she sat beside him, cheering him on.

Chuckling, he reached up to wipe his tears. Maybe Riddhima's new nickname wasn't too far off the mark. He really had gotten sentimental in the last few years. Or was it that he had finally started to feel all his emotions freely? Before, he'd always tried to shy away from the more morose emotions he felt, channeling them all into anger because it was easier. Now though, he knew better. He mourned and wept as he always should have. He didn't try to hide behind the easy mask of anger and let his heart hurt the way it wanted to. Meeting Riddhima had opened up the vulnerability he liked to keep hidden from the rest of the world. He didn’t remember crying as freely before he’d met her. He remembered how, a long time ago, he’d told Nikki that Riddhima made him want to be a better man. That still held true. She always inspired him to be his best self. And, it had been that inspiration that had made him work on himself even after he’d left his life in Mumbai behind. Now, he could honestly say that at this point in time, he was his best self. Chuckling to himself, he whacked his head. Why was he sitting here and getting emotional about Riddhima when he could go and see her in person?

He walked out of the fire escape, and made his way to the nurse station. Luckily for him, a briefing was in session, and there she was. There she was. There she was. Riddhima was completely in her element, taking charge. Armaan leaned against the wall and admired her. The way her hands moved as she talked, the small frown in between her eyes, the slight twitch in her nose… She was so pretty. He realized that he hadn’t taken a moment to just look at her in years now. Was it possible that she’d gotten even more beautiful? Or was it just his sentimental heart making him see things? He didn’t know, and he didn’t really care.

Some of the interns seemed to have noticed him and were nudging each other to bring attention to the gorgeous man who was staring at their boss like she was his sun. Soon enough, none of them were paying attention to the briefing, all their attention focused on the man, who was completely oblivious to it, so busy in his admiration. Riddhima blushed, unable to help herself. She'd become aware of Armaan's presence the moment he'd been in the vicinity, but had refrained from reacting and tried to continue as normal, but now, with everyone's eyes on him, it was impossible to ignore him. More so, it was impossible to ignore the fondness in those dreamy eyes, the way he had that little smile on his face, as if he hadn't made any conscious effort to smile, but couldn't stop himself from doing so.

She cleared her throat loudly, desperate to get some control of the situation. "Doctors!" She reprimanded. "I have not dismissed you yet."

Immediately, all her interns turned back to her, attentive yet scared. Still, they couldn't help but steal a glance or two at Armaan. Sighing, Riddhima called him out. "Excuse me!" She yelled, exasperated. "What are you doing?"

Her loud voice finally snapped him out of his reverie. He shook his head to clear his thoughts before replying to her. "What am I doing? Nothing. Just… Trying to pass some time. I've got nothing to do."

"So you just roam around the corridor of a hospital and stare at people?" She asked him. Armaan shrugged. "Seems fun," he confessed.

Riddhima facepalmed, not knowing what to say. It had been a while since she'd had to deal with an insolent, flirty Armaan, and she would admit that she was rusty. "Dismissed," she ordered the interns, not wanting to create a scene in front of them.

Once they'd all left, Armaan walked up to the nurse station and leaned against it, his entire focus on Riddhima. "Armaan!" She blushed, as she turned away from him. She picked up some files and pretended to go through them to distract herself.

"Basket," Armaan whined. "I'm bored."

"And this concerns me because…" She trailed off.

"Because who else will I trouble but you?" He asked.

"Armaan… I have work to do," she reminded him. Armaan smiled despite himself. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed her calling his name. Such a mundane thing… His name spoken in that exasperated but fond lilt, like she was annoyed yet enamored by him… No one ever called his name the way she did.

"Armaan!" She whacked him with a file, making him realize he'd been staring again.

"Here's a deal," he proposed a moment later. "Why don't I work too? I mean… I've got nothing to do. Aai & Baba have some relatives over to introduce Myra, and Rahul is busy with Muskaan. So, I'll just… Help out here! Cool?"

Riddhima pretended to think, before she said, "How about no?"

"Come on! Why not?" Armaan cried.

"I don't need your Armaan-ness to disrupt the peace of this hospital," Riddhima replied, rolling her eyes.

"Armaan-ness?" He asked. "I'm offended, Basket!"

"Good," she laughed. "You were meant to."

"Please!" He begged.

"Nope," she answered, determined.

Armaan wasted no time in getting on his knees in front of her. "Please, please, please! I'll listen to everything you say. No masti, no shaitaani, only duty karni! Promise!"

"Armaan! Stop it! You're embarrassing me!" Riddhima cried, looking around. Everyone had stopped to stare at the two of them. It had been a while since Sanjeevani had borne witness to this. When Armaan was around, such displays had become commonplace and people had learnt to ignore it and go about their day, but in his absence, the novelty had worn off, and now, everyone was suddenly interested in their interaction.

"Say yes first," he bargained.

"Fine!" She yelled. "You win! You can work."

"Thank you!" Armaan cried, standing up and immediately pulling her into a hug. Annoyed, Riddhima pushed him away. "Don't push it," she warned. Armaan raised his arms in surrender, enjoying himself. How long had it been since he'd had so much fun with someone? He didn't remember. In all the pain, he'd forgotten that nothing pleased him more than annoying Riddhima. He'd had so much fun with her, annoying her and getting annoyed by her.

"Come with me," she ordered. Armaan practically skipped along beside her, extremely excited. Not just to spend time with Riddhima, but also to work. He'd missed being here. This place would always be his first home that he chose for himself.

Riddhima led him to a cabin, knocking on the door before entering. "Good morning, Dr. Sonawane," she greeted the woman who was sitting on the chair in front of her.

The woman, Dr. Sonawane, looked up and smiled. "Dr. Gupta! To what do I owe the pleasure?" She asked.

Riddhima took a seat in front of her. "I wanted a favour."

"Anything for you, Riddhima," Dr. Sonawane replied. "You know that."

"I do," Riddhima agreed. Turning to Armaan, she said, "This is Dr. Armaan Mallik." To Armaan, she added, "Armaan, this Dr. Shreeya Sonawane. She's the head of the orthopaedic department here."

Armaan's smile fell at that. This was not what he had in mind when he said he should work. He'd meant working with Riddhima. But of course, he should've known. Basket would never make anything easy for him. Riddhima smirked at his crestfallen face before turning to Shreeya once more.

"Dr. Mallik is the head of ortho at the New York division of Sanjeevani. He's visiting for a few days and felt the need to put himself to use while he's here, so I thought… What better way than to leave him in your capable hands?" She asked rhetorically.

Turning to Armaan, she asked, "Right, Armaan?"

Armaan had the strongest urge to wipe that smug smirk off her face, but in the interest of being polite, he replied, "Right." He didn't think he managed to come off as polite though, with the way he was gritting his teeth so hard, but then there were only some things he could achieve as a human.

Dr. Sonawane noticed the unsaid conversation passing between the two people standing in front of her and laughed internally. Well, her day definitely did get a lot interesting. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she had somehow been roped into some weird sort of flirtation? Or was it an enmity? She was still debating that… But it was definitely either of those at play. She wasn't too worried about the details though, because either way, it would be fun. Finally, she'd have some entertainment while she did her job. And well, it would absolutely not hurt to have the head of orthopaedics from New York Sanjeevani to be at her beck and call.

"We shall have a lot of fun together, Dr. Mallik… You and I. I look forward to it," she told him.

"Perfect!" Riddhima cheered. "I'll leave you two to it, then. See you later!"

As she moved past Armaan, he grabbed her dupatta, making her turn. Definitely a flirtation then, Shreeya thought to herself. While she couldn't see the face Armaan was making, she was pretty sure he was trying to worm his way out of this situation. It didn't seem to work on Riddhima though, as she calmly plucked her dupatta out of his hands. "Have fun, Armaan! Now, you won't get bored, and you'll actually be doing something you love! You're welcome."

Armaan snorted. "Yes. Thank you," he replied. Even Shreeya, who had known Armaan for all of 2 minutes and 35 seconds, could sense the sarcasm dripping from his tone.

"You kids have fun then!" Riddhima exclaimed before rushing out of the cabin. She was definitely going to pay dearly for the stunt she'd pulled, but it was necessary. She'd never get any work done if Armaan was around. She needed to focus on work, and especially after being away for weeks. There was a mountain of paperwork at her desk waiting to be sorted through, and a ton of patients that she needed to catch up with.

"Shall we?" Shreeya asked Armaan. He put on his most charming smile and replied, "After you!"

"So… Dr. Mallik," she made conversation as she led Armaan to the orthopaedic ward. "How is it that you know Riddhima?"

"Armaan, please," Armaan replied. "Only Dr. Shashank calls me Dr. Mallik, and that's…" He trailed off, shuddering. "And well, Riddhima and I… We interned together. Right here at this very hospital."

"Oh," Shreeya breathed. "That's weird. I haven't ever heard about you before. A lot of the interns from your batch stayed on to become residents, didn't they?"

"Yeah," Armaan answered. "Almost all of us, I guess. It was just Rahul and I… We both work together in New York, though. And I think Muskaan, Atul, and Anjali spent time at other branches in India before coming back here. But Rahul and I have been in New York for a little over seven years now. Maybe that's why you haven't heard about us," he offered. "I mean… You know what they say. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess."

Though he knew now that was far from the truth. It was just painful for all of them to remember that time together because it had ended so brutally. Some days, it stumped him how they'd all lived through that pain alone. They'd all been hurting so much, missing each other more than anything, and yet, hadn't had the courage to reach out. Armaan may have made attempts with Nikki, but he never did with Champ or Muskaan or even Anjali. It wasn't like he hadn't missed them. He had. He just hadn't been brave enough to pick the phone up. They were here now though, he reminded himself. And that was important. He would not let his friends go again. Irrespective of whatever happened with Basket, he would never let his friends walk out of his life or leave them behind ever again. These years without them had made him see just how much he loved them.

And, he was smarter now, more mature. He could be around his friends without thinking about Riddhima every moment, the way he had in the past. Their friends had always been the most common link between them and leaving her had always automatically meant leaving them behind too, because he couldn't be around them without constant reminders of her hurting him. That wasn't the case any longer. He had learnt to separate his relationships. He wouldn't let one relationship affect another.

Shreeya discussed various topics with him as they walked, and was suitably impressed. Of course, Armaan had to be a brilliant surgeon if he was heading the department, but he was so much better than she'd pegged him to be. His insights were brilliant, and some of the cases he'd described to have handled left her mind blown. To have that kind of precision and focus was amazing. She was glad to be working with him for the foreseeable future. There was so much they all stood to gain by working with him.

"This is Dr. Devyani Banerjee," Shreeya introduced to Armaan the girl who was waiting at the entrance of the ICU once they'd reached there. "She's one of our most promising interns. Lucky for you, she's on her ortho rotation right now and will be reporting to me for the next few weeks. While you're here, she can help you with everything you need. And, between the two of us, she's an excellent resource!

Now, I know you're only visiting so you'll only be needed when there's an emergency, or if I need a second opinion on something, but I think that you can use this time to guide Dr. Devyani. She's very interested in pursuing a specialization and your insights would be extremely helpful!"

Armaan grinned. "Of course," he agreed. He had come to understand that more than anything else, his true calling was mentoring others. While he loved being on the floor himself, going on rounds and performing surgeries, it was guiding others that made him the happiest. To help one of your junior colleagues crack a case, to help them figure out a complicated surgery, to see them handle a difficult patient… It was so rewarding. Of course, he would always love being a surgeon, but being a mentor and guide was something he'd grown to love immensely.

"I have an important meeting to get to, but I trust you will make yourself comfortable here?" Shreeya asked Armaan.

"Of course!" Armaan exclaimed. "Please, carry on. I will catch up with you when you have some time to spare."

"Great! See you then," Shreeya said in parting.

"Shall we?" Armaan asked, ever the gentleman, prompting Devyani to enter before him. Devyani smiled and stepped inside the ward, followed closely by Armaan. But, before he could fully make himself known, his eyes fell on a patient, and he immediately stepped back, pulling Devyani with him.

"Dr. Mallik, is everything okay?" Devyani asked him.

"I need to go somewhere," Armaan told her. "I'm sorry to leave like this, but I'll find you in a while. This is really important. I'm… I'm sorry!"

Saying so, he rushed away, not giving Devyani a chance to respond. She watched his retreating back in confusion before shrugging and going about her day. She didn't have time to deal with whatever was going on. She had her own problems to deal with.

Anjali and Muskaan had just left Muskaan's cabin after one of her regular check-ups when Armaan accosted them, clearly worked up. "Riddhima ko dekha?" He asked them.

"Hero, kya hua? Is everything okay? You seem very worried," Muskaan asked.

"Riddhima!" Armaan repeated. "Have either of you seen her? I need to talk to her. Now!"

"No, but…" Anjali started, but Armaan had already found Riddhima by then. She was talking to someone, a few paces away from them.

"Basket!" Armaan called, rushing to her. In his haste, he missed the look that passed between Muskaan and Anjali.

"Basket!" He repeated, reaching her.

"Armaan? I just left you with Shreeya less than 15 minutes ago. Don't tell me you've already annoyed her!" Riddhima exclaimed.

Armaan shook his head. Turning to Riddhima's companion, he asked, "Is this urgent?"

"Uhhh, not really," the man replied, clearly confused.

"Good!" Armaan exclaimed, taking the file Riddhima had been holding and passing it back to the man. "She'll see you later. This is important."

Before anyone could comprehend what was happening, Armaan had taken Riddhima's hand and pulled her away. He sprinted down the corridor and pulled Riddhima into the fire escape, which Anjali & Muskaan noticed very keenly. The two of them shared a smile and rushed to the canteen. They needed to have a talk with the rest of their friends.

"Armaan!? Why are you behaving like this? Slow down!" Riddhima exclaimed as he pulled her into the fire escape. He shut the door behind them and pulled her into a hug.

"Hey! Kya hua?" Riddhima murmured softly, running her fingers through his hair.

"Basket…" Armaan sighed, pulling back a couple moments later. "Why is Nana in the ICU?"

"Ahhh, you saw him?" Riddhima asked. Armaan nodded.

"He's been here for almost two months now. It's looking really bad, Armaan. His larynx has completely ruptured," Riddhima told him. Armaan exhaled sharply.

"Can we do anything?" He enquired.

Riddhima nodded. "There's a surgery. But it's really expensive. You know Nana can't afford that. I've been trying to help him. We've been thinking about pooling our savings to pay for it, but the trip to New York made things a little difficult. And… You know Nana. He's not taken kindly to my offer either. We're still trying to figure out a way to help him."

"I'll pay for it," Armaan immediately declared. "Get him under the knife as soon as possible. I don't care what the cost is. I'll pay it."

"Armaan…" Riddhima sighed.

"I'll pay it," he repeated.

"I'll talk to Dr. Gilani," she answered.

"Right now?" He pressed.

"Right now," she agreed. Then, she added, "But… You shouldn't see him right now. If he sees you and immediately goes for a surgery he'll know you did it. He might not agree to get operated on then. I'll just tell him that we were able to get the donations for the social responsibility program and we're using that to fund his surgery. You can meet him afterwards."

"Okay," Armaan acquiesced. "Whatever you say."

Riddhima smiled. She cupped his face and said, "Don't worry. While the surgery is expensive, it's got a 98% survival rate. Nana will be fine."

Armaan placed his hand on hers and pushed her hand even closer, nuzzling into her palm. "I know. You'll look after him, won't you?"

"Of course I will. He's important to me too," Riddhima said. Armaan smiled and pulled her into a hug. Somehow, just her presence soothed him. Her confidence boosted his own. He trusted her. He believed her. If she said Nana was going to be okay, he would be.

Tum aankhon se batana

Hum samajh jaayenge

Tum halki si sharmana

Hum tere ho jaayenge.

Tum aankhon se batana

Hum samajh jaayenge

Tum halki si sharmana

Hum tere ho jaayenge.

Hum raah taake baithey hai koi ijazat do

Hum raah taake baithey hai koi ijazat do

Tum haath thaam lena

Hum sawar jaayenge.

Tum aankhon se batana

Hum samajh jaayenge

Tum halki si sharmana

Hum tere ho jaayenge.

Tumhari mehendi mein

Chhupe hum rahe

Baatein karna humse

Bin kuch tum kahe.

Tumhari mehendi mein

Chhupe hum rahe

Baatein karna humse

Bin kuch tum kahe.

Hum khamoshi padhlenge

Agar chup tum raho

Hum khamoshi padhlenge

Agar chup tum raho.

Tum aadat bano humari

Hum bigad jaayenge

Tum aankhon se batana

Hum samajh jaayenge

Tum halki si sharmana

Hum tere ho jaayenge.

Yaar mere pyaar ka matlab

Samajhta nahi zamaana

Zamaane ki fikar nahi

Main chahoon tumhein samjhana.

Ho ik meri khwaish yahin

Ke tum mein hai bass jaana

Ho jitni bhi muradein teri

Main pure sab kar jaana.

Kaagazon par sabne

Apne lafz likhe

Humne apne jazbaat bhi sajaa ke hai rakhe

Kaagazon par sabne

Apne lafz likhe

Humne apne jazbaat bhi sajaa ke hai rakhe.

Tum ankhon mein dekho humari

Sab samajh jaaoge

Tum aankhon se batana

Hum samajh jaayenge

Tum halki si sharmana

Hum tere ho jaayenge.

Tum aankhon se batana

Hum samajh jaayenge

Tum halki si sharmana

Hum tere ho jaayenge.

- Aankhon Se Batana, Dikshant

Track 62 - Main Yahaan Hoon, Udit Narayan

Rahul sighed as he bit into his toast. Things were not fine. It had been a couple of days since they'd arrived in Mumbai, and while Armaan had been extremely happy at first, something had changed. He hadn't come home last night, only arriving in the wee hours of morning and promptly shutting himself up in his bedroom, not talking to anyone. Nikki had been just as clueless as he was about why he was behaving the way he was.

Rahul's last interaction with Armaan had been at breakfast the previous day when he'd told his best friend that he'd been taking Muskaan out on a date. They hadn't spoken since. Nikki hadn't spoken to him since then either. She hadn't been able to go to work the day before, and neither had Abhi, because Abhi's parents and his aunt & uncle had unexpectedly shown up at his place. A quick call to Atul had confirmed that both him and Anjali had stayed home the day before too because Anjali wasn't feeling well, and that Riddhima had had plans to spend the day with Navneeta. So, none of them had spoken to Armaan for a few hours, and in those few hours, something had happened. And he hadn't the slightest clue as to what.

"Did Armaan open the door?" Nikki asked him, taking a seat beside Abhi.

"Not yet," Rahul murmured, defeated.

"But… Inn pichle kuch ghanton mein aisa kya hua?" Abhi wondered out loud.

"He lost a patient," Sid piped in quietly. He had been to the hospital the day before, and it had spread like wildfire… The news that both him and Dr. Sonawane combined hadn't been able to save a patient… A policewoman at that.

"What?" Rahul asked, shocked. "What did you just say?"

"He lost a patient yesterday," Sid repeated.

"What? How? When?" Rahul probed. "Tell me everything."

"He assisted Dr. Sonawane in an emergency yesterday. It was… It was a policewoman. I don't know the exact details but she was shot," Sid explained. "I think it was in the spine. But I'm not too sure. Dr. Sonawane asked him to scrub up, and he did… But apparently he froze when he saw the patient? It took him sometime to get his bearings… And in the end, they weren't able to save her."

"Why didn't you tell me??!" Nikki screeched. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!"

"Nikki… Relax! It's going to be okay!" Abhi tried to calm his wife down. Nikki had stood up from her chair and was pacing.

"How can I calm down? Oh my god. I can't… Oh my god!" Nikki exclaimed, her breathing getting heavy.

"Rahul! Are you okay?" Abhi asked him next when he saw Rahul sitting there unresponsive. "RAHUL!" Abhi shouted when Rahul didn't answer. That seemed to pull Rahul out of his stupor.

"Riddhima!" Rahul exclaimed. "Oh my god. Did anyone call Riddhima?"

The trio looked at each other and Rahul immediately reached into his pocket, fumbling to get his phone. With shaky hands, he dialled Riddhima's number. "You need to come to Nikki's house. Right now. It's Armaan," he told her in greeting. In the next breath, he hung up.

"What did she say?" Nikki asked.

"She's on her way," Rahul replied. "Don't worry. She'll handle it."

"I can't… When will that night leave us, Rahul?" She whispered, broken.

Rahul huffed a breath through his nose and pulled her out of Abhi's arms into his own. "Never, I suppose," he murmured. "But we have each other, right?"

Nikki nodded against his chest. Rahul smiled. "Don't stress. Tum dekhna… He'll see Riddhima and everything will be fine."

"Hopefully," Nikki mumbled. "Hopefully it will."

"Abhi, beta… What's the matter? Can we help?" His mom asked.

"No, Mom," Abhi replied. "The only person who can do anything right now is not here yet. But… Once she gets here, we'll be good."

Sunaina, Sid's mom, snorted, but one look from her son and she kept quiet, thankfully. She had never really forgiven Riddhima for ending her marriage with Sid. Though whatever happened hadn't been Riddhima's fault at all, the woman refused to acknowledge it.

"Should we tell the others?" Abhi asked, breaking the tense silence that had engulfed the room.

"Not yet," Rahul advised. "They'll all worry too. Let Armaan calm down. Once he's hugged Riddhima to his heart's content and made sure she's okay… We'll tell the others then."

Nikki laughed. "How long do you think they'll pretend that nothing is going on?"

"Please," Rahul scoffed. "It's them. Everyone knows something is always going on when it's them."

"Except apparently the two of them," Nikki snorted. "Do they seriously think we don't have eyes? You know Armaan called Riddhima Basket in front of the entire world the day before yesterday and then pulled her into the fire escape?"

"Ahhh, yes. I heard," Rahul laughed. "Muskaan was very vivid in her descriptions."

Nikki giggled. "Why are they such fools?"

"Would they be Armaan & Riddhima if they weren't?" Abhi asked rhetorically.

The duo chuckled. "How long are we keeping quiet before we bust em?" Nikki asked.

"Don't bother," Rahul shrugged. "Armaan is bursting to tell me, I can tell. He's almost said something like 20 times in the last 4 days. He's going to break any minute now."

"He could never hide from you, could he?" Nikki questioned.

Rahul laughed. "I knew he was in love with her before he was ready to admit it to himself. Idiot. Woh sirf meri dost hai, Rahul. Dost, my foot. Anyone with eyes could tell he was madly in love with her. Woh meri sab kuch thi, but ab hum kuch bhi nahi hain. He had the audacity to say that to my face when I could see Riddhima would die if he didn't look at her."

Nikki laughed. "It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?"

"Always," Rahul answered. "I knew it the moment I saw Riddhima that day in the hospital after Jaanhavi's accident. I knew this day would come. I sort of even threatened Riddhima to stay away from Armaan."

"You threatened Riddhima?" Nikki exclaimed.

"Well… in my defense, I thought she was still married when I did that," Rahul replied.

"Aaahhhh, yes. You know I told her so many times that she should just tell Armaan… But when it comes to him woh kisi ki sunnti kahaan hai?" Nikki lamented.

"Wohi toh problem hai dono ki. They're too possessive and protective about each other and think they know best," Rahul sighed.

"It's actually kinda cute… But bohot problem hoti hai, yaar!" Nikki laughed. "Remember that time when Riddhima suggested that Armaan & I fake date and he got so mad. Mera naam kisi aur ke saath jodne ka haq maine kisi ko nahi diya, Riddhima… Tumhe bhi nahi. Not lying, I swooned."

Rahul guffawed. "Yeah, that's something he would say. Definitely. I remember once Muskaan wanted something to wear for a party and she asked Riddhima for a suit. Riddhima just refused point blank… Because Armaan had gifted that to her."

Nikki huffed. "I miss that. I miss seeing them like that. They were so in love it was disgusting."

"Are," Rahul corrected gently.

"What?" Nikki asked.

"You said they were. Nah. They're still just as madly in love. They're just scared to admit it. Woh Armaan aur Riddhima hai… If you think there's ever been a time when they haven't been in love with each other since the day they met, you're wrong," Rahul laughed. "Trust me, I know."

"Right," Nikki snorted. "I know it's them and you know them best, but I think you're overestimating them."

"Well, I think you're underestimating them and I'll have the last laugh when they get married in like… The next six or so months," Rahul challenged.

"Oh?" Nikki cocked a brow. "You're on!"

"Okay then," Rahul cheered. "We'll see then! Be prepared to lose so hard, Dr. Nikita Modi."

The two of them kept talking, oblivious to the looks being passed on the table. Or maybe they just didn't care enough. Armaan & Riddhima had suffered too much for far too long. And now that they were finally figuring things out, nothing was going to stop them, least of all Riddhima's ex and his family.

The doorbell rang and Rahul rushed to open it. He was greeted by the welcome sight of a sweaty Riddhima. It seemed that he had called her in the middle of her morning jog and she hadn't bothered to change before coming. "Thank god!" He exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.

"What happened?" She asked once he'd guided her inside the house and made her sit at the dining table. Sighing, he knelt on the floor in front of her and took her hands in his.

"Rahul?" Riddhima probed, her voice shaky. "You're scaring me."

"Armaan lost a patient yesterday," Rahul explained. "She was…" He trailed off.

"She was what?" Riddhima pushed.

"She was… She was shot in the spine," Rahul finally mumbled, unable to look Riddhima in the eye. Riddhima's tight grip on his hands slackened and they fell to her side at his proclamation.

"What did you just say to me?" Riddhima asked again. Turning to Abhi, she said, "This is a joke, right? You've called me here to prank me! Armaan put you up to this, didn't he? Where is he? Tell him this isn't funny!"

"Riddhima," Abhi sighed. "It's true."

"And you didn't tell me? He lost her yesterday! It's been a whole day! Why didn't anybody tell me?" Riddhima questioned. "You should've told me!"

"We didn't know," Nikki shrugged helplessly. "We called the minute we found out."

"An entire day!" Riddhima breathed. "How could you not know? What if something happened? Who would've been responsible then?"

"Riddhima… Please, relax! Calm down. Breathe. He needs you right now. He's shut himself in his room. Kisike liye darwaza nahi khol raha," Rahul explained.

Riddhima took a deep breath and wiped her tears and plastered a smile on her face. "Better?" She asked.

"Better," Rahul, Nikki, and Abhi chorussed.

"Where is he?" She asked them. Nikki pointed her in the direction of the room that Armaan had claimed for the duration of his stay. Riddhima wasted no time in knocking on his door. The other three stood a little ways away, anxiously waiting for Armaan to open the door.

"Armaan!" Riddhima called after a couple of tries. "Please, op—" her words were cut short when Armaan opened the door and pulled her to him, almost too roughly, embracing her in a tight hug.

His arms wound around her waist, as hers looped around his neck, both of them squeezing each other tight. "You're okay," he breathed.

"I'm okay," she assured him. "You should've called me."

"I forgot that I could," he mumbled in response, hiding his face in her neck. He'd had that nightmare countless times now. The one where she didn't survive the night. And every time, he'd been unable to reach out, to just ask if she was okay, if she was doing fine. All he'd had was loneliness in those long nights where nothing made him feel okay.

Rahul choked back a sob at the scene in front of him. He'd wanted this for Armaan for so long. Rahul wasn't oblivious to Armaan's nightmares and he knew that nothing would make him feel better but Riddhima's presence beside him, the one thing Rahul had been unable to provide for so long. To finally see Armaan have that, to see him get the reassurance and love he deserved… It made him so happy. Nikki rubbed his arm in a soothing gesture, unshed tears lining her eyes well. The two of them reached out simultaneously, wrapping each other in a hug as they watched their best friend find peace.

A couple moments later, Armaan stepped out of Riddhima's arms. His hand closed around hers and he pulled her into the room, closing the door behind them, very aware of their audience of three. Nikki blubbered a laugh at that. "Nothings changed, huh?"

"Nothings changed,"Rahul agreed.

"They'll be fine," Abhi assured them. "They have each other. We should let them have some time alone."

The other two agreed and they went back to the dining room, finally finding the appetite to finish their breakfast.

______

"I was very scared," Armaan admitted to Riddhima in the stillness of the room. He was lying on the bed with his head in Riddhima's lap. She was running her fingers through his hair with her free hand. The other was held tight in Armaan's grip. "Ek pal ke liye mujhe laga ki wahaan tum ho. Meri saans atak gayi thi, Basket. I thought I was going to die."

Riddhima bent down, keeping her head on top of Armaan's. "I'm okay. You're okay. We're both here, and neither of us is going to die."

"I know," Armaan sighed. "But subconsciously… Maybe I've not left that behind me. I still get nightmares about it. Most of the time, you don't survive the shoot-out."

"They're just dreams. They're not real. I'm here. I'm real. Not that," Riddhima promised and was rewarded with her first smile of the day.

After a moment, she asked, "How do you normally deal with them? The nightmares?"

"I kind of don't," he admitted sheepishly. "I just distract myself so I don't think about it… Which rarely works, but I try. Most of the time, I cook. Sometimes I write music. Rahul never leaves me alone after one… But I don't like that. I mean… Don't get me wrong. Rahul is the best. I love him, probably more than I love anyone else in the world. There's no one I trust more, not even myself. But this… I don't want him to get embroiled in this. Maybe because his presence doesn't help, it doesn't soothe the pain. Maybe… Because… Because he isn't you," he confessed.

"I get it," Riddhima soothed. "I have the same nightmare. Only… It's you who doesn't make it. And Muskaan tries so hard to cheer me up, to make it all go away, but it never goes away. Sometimes I feel that I'm still stuck in that moment. That I'm trying to hold your hand, to tell you I'm here, to make sure you're okay. It's like the world moved on, and I just stayed there. I didn't move on. And even now, I'm still there. Maybe I'll just stay there forever."

"It feels like that sometimes, doesn't it? That every moment after that moment is a lie… That it's just a figment of your imagination. It's like I can still see you there. I can see the bullet piercing you. I can see you raise your hand… To take mine. I can see the blood dripping from it. I can smell it. I can taste it. Red. Everything is red. It's all blood," Armaan whispered.

"Yes," Riddhima agreed. "But then… Sometimes, it feels like that one moment was my imagination. That it never happened. It doesn't exist in reality. It feels like I'm trapped in a nightmare. Nothing makes sense."

"You make sense," Armaan countered. "You're making sense right now. I feel that way too. Maybe we're both just wired differently. Everyone else seems to have moved on just fine."

"Everyone else didn't almost die that night," Riddhima argued. "Everyone else didn't lose the love of their life. Everyone else wasn't trapped there. Everyone else didn't go through what we did. And even if they had, it's okay that we process it differently than them."

"Have you ever tried your hand at being a therapist?" Armaan joked. "Because you're really good."

"I'm just wise," Riddhima laughed.

"That you are," Armaan agreed easily. "You always have been. So, since you're so wise… Do you know a way to make it better?"

"You think I'd still be struggling with it if I did?" Riddhima asked him.

Armaan shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you do."

"All I can think of is… Well… Let's just be there for each other, okay? I'll be there for you when you have a nightmare and you do the same for me. Maybe… Maybe the problem is that we never got a chance to talk about it. We didn't get to heal together. We didn't get to grieve together. What we lost that night… It was our entire life, Armaan. We were getting ready to marry each other. We were so excited. And then to have that taken away so brutally… I think we deserve that time to mourn what we could have been. I mean, if that hadn't happened we'd have been married for eight years now! Eight! We'd probably have like two kids at least. And a dog. And a home. And each other. And now? Now we have none of it."

"Maybe not none," Armaan countered. "We still have each other, don't we?"

"But we didn't," Riddhima argued. "For so long. We led, not only different, but such separate lives. I mean… You thought I was married till two weeks ago when I'd been single for almost six years. The one person who was supposed to know everything about me, was the one who knew the least. That hurts more than anything, Armaan. That I have to tell you things. That you weren't there to experience them with me, whether good or bad. I hate that I have to tell you how Atul proposed to Di instead of getting mad at you gor helping him plan it without telling me. I hate that I have to tell you about the night Nikumbh was born instead of teasing you about crying so much. I hate that I have to tell you about my nightmares instead of reassuring you that your presence helps me sleep at night.

We missed so much, Armaan. Our entire lives together. All because of one moment. And it just hurts so much, because I know it's my fault."

"It's not!" Armaan sprang up, pulling her to him. "It's not your fault. Never your fault. If anyone's it's mine. I shouldn't have thrown that tantrum. If I hadn't, you would never have come to the hospital."

"If I'd just told you I loved you, you wouldn't have had to do that," Riddhima countered.

"You weren't ready," Armaan argued softly. "I should have respected that."

Sighing, he added. "And we're back at it again. Didn't we decide to not blame ourselves for what happened? It was not your fault. And I guess, maybe it wasn't mine either. You didn't shoot that bullet and neither did I."

"Why does it feel like it is, then? It always feels like it's my fault," Riddhima cried.

"How can it be yours? You took a bullet for me, Basket. If anyone is to blame, it's me. It should have been me. I should've gotten shot. Not you," Armaan sobbed. He pulled Riddhima to him in a fierce hug. "You shouldn't have done that. Promise me, you'll never put your life in danger for me ever again."

Riddhima looked up at him, indignant. "Oh… So it's only okay for you to risk your life for me but not the other way round? Do you remember what you'd said when I'd asked for the same promise? Hamesha karunga. Agar tumhaari jaan chali jaayegi toh main jee kar kya karunga? Agar tumhaari jaan chali jaayegi toh main jee kar kya karungi, Armaan? I've lived without you in my life for years, but I always had that assurance in my heart that you were okay… That you were unharmed, because I knew… I always knew, in my heart of hearts that even if we spent the rest of our lives not talking to each other, I'd know if you ever got in trouble, if you ever needed me. I can't live in a world where you don't exist, Armaan. I don't even want to.

Maybe it makes me sound like a teenager… The kind of person whose life starts and ends at their partner… I don't care. Yes, without you I do have a life… I have a job, I have friends, I have family. But in these past few years, I've realized that none of this brings me the joy I got when sharing it with you. How I didn't feel as accomplished because I didn't tell you about the first time I performed a neurosurgery on my own… How I felt so lonely the day Nikumbh was born without you to share that joy with me… How I just kept thinking about you during Di's wedding.

I want to share my life with you, Armaan. Forever. Because just your presence makes my life worth living. And yes, that's every cliche out of some romance novel, maybe even co-dependent… But, I don't care. I just care about you."

"Where did you learn to make all these speeches from?" Armaan asked, swiping his eyes. "I thought I was supposed to be the more talkative one of the two of us!"

"I learnt from the best," Riddhima replied, blushing a brilliant red.

"Damn straight you did," Armaan laughed. He hugged her once again. "Ahhh, how do I feel so much better even though we spent all our time crying?" He wondered out loud. "Maybe… People aren't wrong. How does the saying go? Kuch logon ke saath waqt bitaane se hi sab kuch theek ho jaata hai."

"I see you've kept up with Bollywood in your time away. I'm proud," she complimented him at his Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani reference.

"Of course! I'm not a heathen," he cried, scandalized.

"Better not be!" She warned jokingly.

"It'll get better, right?" He asked a moment later, all joking forgotten.

"It will," Riddhima assured with a confidence she didn't entirely feel. But, she had to believe it would. For Armaan's sake. And for hers. "It will," she repeated.

"Then that's all that matters," Armaan replied, resting his head on top of hers.

Jaanam dekh lo mit gayi dooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan x (3)

Kaisi sarhadein, kaisi majbooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan

Tum chhupa na sakogi main woh raaz hoon
Tum bhula na sakogi woh andaz hoon

Goonjta hoon jo dil mein to hairan ho kyon

Main tumhare hi dil ki to awaz hoon

Sun sako to suno dhadkanon ki zuban
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Kaisi sarhadein, kaisi majbooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan

Main hi main ab tumhare khayalon mein hoon
Main jawabon mein hoon
Main sawalon mein hoon
Main tumhare har ek khwaab mein hoon basa
Main tumhari nazar ke ujaalon mein hoon
Dekhti ho mujhe dekhti ho jahaan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan

Jaanam dekh lo mit gayi dooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan
Kaisi sarhadein, kaisi majbooriyan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan

Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon
Yahaan hoon, yahaan

- Main Yahaan Hoon, Udit Narayan

Track 63 - Toota Pull Wahaan, The Deepak Rathore Project

Armaan rang the doorbell to Riddhima's house and stepped back, waiting. It had been a very long day and he was happy to be home. Home, he sighed. How had Riddhima's apartment that he'd visited only once before become home? Because it was Riddhima's, a voice whispered in his head. One that sounded a lot like Rahul. Whatever. He didn't have the time for that, not now. He was preoccupied with other things.

After a scrumptious breakfast cooked for him by Riddhima and Rahul, he'd spent the rest of the day with Tamanna and Myra, taking the day off from the hospital after what had happened. He'd needed that time to unwind. And it had been great. He'd taken them out for some ice-cream for lunch. Then they'd gone to the beach, and finally ended up in a park. He'd gotten loads of hugs and kisses from his sister and his niece, making him feel better. But then, while he was sitting on a park bench with Tamanna, watching Myra play, she'd said something he hadn't ever imagined. Sid proposed, she'd said. So casually. As if they were discussing the weather. She'd wanted his advice on what to do. And, for the first time since he'd met her, Armaan hadn't been able to help Tamanna, because he didn't know what to say.

On one hand, he did want Tamanna to find happiness in a romantic relationship, if that's what she wanted, of course, but with Sid? He wasn't sure. It was purely selfish, he knew. But, how could he ever want his sister to be with the guy who had previously been married to the love of his life? Did Tamanna even know Sid had been married before? He hadn't told her, not yet. He'd just asked her for some time to think it through, but at the same time assured her that if Sid was who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, he would support her… Because there was nothing else that he could do. Much as he hated it, he would never stand in the way of Tamanna's happiness. The only good thing right now seemed to be how Tamanna herself wasn't inclined to get into a relationship with anyone, much less Sid. And, he did agree. Myra was the most important person right now and she needed all of Tamanna's attention. Any type of romantic entanglement wasn't a good idea right this moment, much less a long distance and one that was rich with so much history.

"Hey!" Riddhima greeted him a moment later, all smiles and love. Armaan couldn't help the smile on his own face at that.

"Hi," he replied. He handed her a bunch of flowers - yellow daisies (they weren't at the red roses stage, not yet) - and a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling cider. "For you," he said. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Thank you!" Riddhima answered. "You look great!" She gestured to his attire of a pink shirt that he'd paired with a black cut sleeve sweater and dark washed jeans.

"So do you," he complimented, taking note of her outfit for the first time. She was dressed in a blue anarkali suit, looking gorgeous as ever. "You look absolutely ethereal."

Riddhima blushed. "Thank you," she murmured. "Come on in!"

"Is this like a date?" Armaan asked as he looked around the living room. It was much different than he remembered. The lighting was pretty intimate, drapes hanging at every corner. Soft music was wafting through the room.

"No," Riddhima rolled her eyes. "I just invited the man I'm in love with over to dinner to play cards. Of course it's a date, Armaan!"

"I hadn't realized. I thought we were just hanging out," Armaan mumbled sheepishly.

"Ummm, isn't that what a date is? Hanging out with someone you like to get to know them better?" Riddhima asked.

"You're right. Wow, I'm rusty. How are you better at this than me?" He wondered out loud. "I can't believe you asked me out first. This is so uncool. I wanted to be the one to do it!"

"What's even more uncool is that you didn't even realize it was a date!" Riddhima laughed. "Wait till I tell everyone!"

"NO!" Armaan cried. "Come on! You can't tell anyone. Meri kya izzat reh jaayegi? Please, please, please! I'll do anything for you!"

"Anything?" Riddhima quirked a brow.

"Anything," Armaan confirmed.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," she told him. He raised his hands in surrender.

"So, what are we doing on this date of yours? Is there a basketball court nearby?" He jokingly asked because that's what they did when they were on a date. Or even not. They played basketball.

"I thought we'd try a different game today," Riddhima told Armaan. "Why don't you settle down on the couch and I'll bring it out!"

"Sure," he agreed easily, happy for the distraction. He'd take anything over thinking about Tamanna and Sid. And, spending time with Riddhima was hardly a hardship. He loved spending time with her, getting to know her in these little pockets of time. They had gone back to just being Armaan & Riddhima so quickly. It scared him, but it also reassured him that things would be just fine. He never had been able to resist her charms, had he? It would always be her and no-one else would ever compare.

"Here we goooo!" Riddhima sang making her way back in. She was carrying a tray with some refreshments that she placed on the coffee table before placing a deck of cards in front of Armaan.

"What's this?" Armaan asked.

"We're playing poker," Riddhima told him. "But not the regular kind. Whoever loses has to answer a question the winner asks honestly. And you're not allowed to pass a question. If you do, you have to do a dare which could be literally anything."

"Oh? High stakes, Dr. Basket. I approve," Armaan smirked. "But, don't you think it's a little unfair to you? I mean, we both know I'm the better poker player."

"Do we?" Riddhima snarked. "Well, then good for you, isn't it? Shall we start?"

To Armaan's surprise, Riddhima ended up winning the first couple rounds. She'd started with basic questions, nothing too hard-hitting. Stuff like his most embarrassing memory (it was when Tamanna had set him up with someone and no-one had showed up for the date and he'd had to sit alone in a romantic restaurant on Valentine's Day for the entire evening.), whether he'd cheated on a test (yes, of course!), and did he ever miss Mumbai (a lot, but not enough to come back, not before this.)

And then finally, he won a round. He decided to go easy on her as well, seeing as they were just warming up. He was sure the difficult questions would come and they'd have to talk about the bad stuff, but not just yet. "What's your happiest memory from the past seven years? And I don't mean in relation to anyone else. Not Anjy's wedding or the birth of Nikki's baby. Something that made you happy because it happened to you. Not your friends or family. And… Don't be boring and say stuff like the day I was promoted or something. Something actually happy. Tell me about something that… I don't know, something that made you want to call me right that instant and yell about it because you were over the moon."

"That's easy," Riddhima laughed. "It's the day my annulment was finalized. I was so happy that day. Atul & I celebrated with lunch and then Muskaan took me out for a movie. I wanted to tell you so, so, so badly. I actually called your number that day, but it was already registered to someone else. A Saina. I really missed you that day, but god, that was really the happiest day of my life. Not just in these last few years. I think that was the happiest day of my life. Period."

"Did getting out of a relationship with Sid make you so happy?" Armaan asked sombrely, all playfulness vanishing instantly from his entire being. "If it did, why did you stay with him for so long? Why did you marry him again? Why did you not sign the divorce papers when he gave them to you? Is he that bad of a person? Or was it just that he wasn't right for you?"

Riddhima stopped short at his words. She clearly hadn't thought it through. She should've known Armaan wouldn't let it go if she talked about this. She could've picked any memory, but she didn't want to lie to Armaan. Not anymore. She'd done plenty of that already. So, she told him the truth. And maybe, it was time Armaan knew the entire truth. How much longer would she hide it? He had to know. He deserved to know. It would be difficult for her to admit to this part of her past, but she knew that if there was someone who would never judge her for her choices, it was Armaan. He'd understand where she was coming from, just like he always did. He wouldn't shame her for her choices, but be the shoulder she needed to cry on. He'd be there for her, as he had always been.

"Riddhima… Sid was a good husband, right?" Armaan probed. "He wasn't… He wasn't… He was always a gentleman, right?"

He had to know. Not just for Riddhima's sake, but for Tamanna's. Sid had told Tamanna he loved her. If she gave love another chance, only to be met with a similar fate… He didn't even want to think about it. Sid was a nice guy. Armaan had seen for himself how much Sid loved Riddhima. He'd helped Sid woo her. He'd only done that because Sid was a good person… Because Riddhima deserved someone as loving as Sid in her life.

"Sid was…" Riddhima sighed. "He wasn't… He wasn't the best husband, Armaan. Not all the time," she confessed. "I was not blameless, I'll agree. I certainly never made things easier for him… But he was… Sometimes, I just… It wasn't easy for me to deal with him either."

"Sid told Tamanna he loves her," Armaan blurted out.

"Armaan!" Riddhima whispered, aghast. "No! She can never… Sid is… She… Please… She didn't say yes, did she?"

"Riddhima… What's wrong?" Armaan asked, scooting closer to her. He held her hands in his. "Please tell me. I'm here for you. No matter what."

That seemed to be the breaking point for her. Riddhima hugged Armaan tightly, sobbing into his embrace. She'd wanted this for so long. For Armaan to ask her what was wrong, for him to be there for her. She'd wished for this to happen every single moment till the time she'd become Sid's wife. And then suddenly, everything else had faded, and only her sorrow remained, Armaan's love only a distant memory that seemed more like a dream than reality.

She had never told anyone about those hard days after the wedding. How every moment in Sid's presence had been spent in utter fear, how she got nightmares about it even now. Yes, things had gotten better between them after Armaan had arrived, but then they'd gone back to being tense after he'd left. Armaan had always been the one who kept their relationship tied together. He was the one who did everything to bring them closer. He was the one who actually worked to make their relationship better. It had never been Sid or Riddhima who made any efforts in their marriage. It had always been Armaan.

"Basket," he soothed. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm here. You're here. We've survived all that. That's what matters. The past is just that. The past. And we can move forward. I'm here with you for whatever you need. Maybe, we shouldn't talk about this. It's okay. I don't want to know. You're happy and that's all that matters."

Armaan did want to know. Something really bad must have happened for Riddhima to react the way she did. But, he would never force her or pressure her into talking about anything she wasn't ready to share. Especially not when it was something that hurt her so much.

"N— No," Riddhima protested. "I want to tell someone. I want to tell you, Armaan. I trust you. Please. I've been carrying this around inside me for so long. I can't hold it any longer. Not alone. Please let me tell you."

"Whatever you need," Armaan vowed. He pulled her closer still and kissed the top of her head. Riddhima melted into his embrace at that. She'd craved his kisses for years and years now. She'd craved for the security of his arms, of the reassurance of his steady presence beside her, making everything right, no matter how bad.

"Stay like this," Riddhima whispered. "Just like this. Don't leave me."

"I won't," Armaan told her, tugging her onto his lap. "I won't."

Riddhima took a few deep breaths to calm herself before she started talking. "I'll tell you everything. I promise. But you have to promise me you won't tell anyone else. Please, Armaan. No one knows. Not even Muskaan. You won't say anything, will you?"

"If that's what you want," Armaan agreed.

"I do," Riddhima stressed. "There's a reason why no one knows. It's not something I'm comfortable telling everyone."

"I won't tell a single person. I swear," Armaan promised. "I won't break your trust like that."

Riddhima smiled. "I know."

A moment later, she started talking. "Sid and I… We did not get off on the right foot. Right from the first time we met, things between us were bad. Very bad, actually. I slapped him the first time I saw him. So, you can imagine how that set the tone for our future interactions. We were always clashing over something or the other, be it at work or outside of work. Things got very bad.

Sid… You have to understand, the Sid you know and the one I met are two entirely different people. The Sid I met was childish and insolent. He only cared about himself and no-one else. So, when he felt I'd insulted him one too many times, he decided to get revenge.

We both had had to go to Lonavala for some work and well, as you can imagine, we fought once more. So, I left from there without him. On the way back, there was a landslide, so I had to stay at a hotel overnight. Now, I don't know how he did it, but Sid managed to get into my room while I was sleeping. He got in bed with me and clicked pictures of us together making it seem like… Well, you know what."

"HE DID WHAT?" Armaan raged, unable to help himself. "How dare he? Uski himmat kaise hui tumhaare saath yeh karne ki? Uski hummat kaise hui kisi bhi ladki ke saath yeh karne ki? I thought he was a nice person. But he's scum. Gutter scum. I can't believe he'd do something like that. He…"

"Armaan!" Riddhima called out, tightening her hold on him. "It's okay. That was the past. You're here. I'm here. We're okay."

"This is not okay," Armaan argued. "Something like this will never be okay."

"I know," Riddhima agreed. "But… I need to tell you, Armaan. This isn't even the worst of it. Please… I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to muster the courage to talk about this again. But I have to. Please let me tell you everything."

"Sorry!" He apologized immediately. "I'm sorry." He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. "You deserve better. I'm so sorry I wasn't there, Basket. But I'm here now. Tell me."

"He… He was going to use them to blackmail me. To make me be nice to him. I don't think he ever planned to show the photos to someone else, but… It's Sanjeevani. You know how it can get. The photos got leaked and every single person saw them. They all made assumptions and as you can imagine, none of it painted me in a good light. Papa became the laughing stock of the hospital overnight.

But then, things got worse. I found out the truth behind your disappearance and decided to look for you. Papa and I got into a very bad fight when I did. I said a lot of things to him that day. Some of those, I don't regret, but most of them, I do. I was… I went crazy. That's a very apt description. I just needed to find you, in any way I could.

Atul wanted to come with me to help, but with Abhi & Nikki away, he wasn't able to get time off when I wasn't around either. So, Papa sent Sid with me instead. Apparently, Sid had been feeling very bad about the photo leak and wanted to make it up to me. Papa thought a good way to do that would be to help me find you. And so, Sid came with me.

Honestly, I don't even recollect him being there. I was so focused on getting to you, I didn't care about anything else, much less Sid. That night, after you left me in the cottage, I went out to look for you. I didn't find you, but the cold found me. I got hypothermic. My clothes were all wet with snow and there were no heaters, I guess.

Sid found me. He helped me that night… But I didn't realize that. I woke up to find myself… Not fully dressed. And Sid much the same. We were both sleeping side by side. And well… I assumed the worst. I thought Sid took advantage of my deliriousness. Atul found me in the woods, doing… I don't even remember now. But, he brought me back home and I accused Sid of r*pe, because I thought that's what happened.

Police came to Sanjeevani and it was a mess. When the investigation was finished and Sid was cleared of all charges, that's when things actually got bad. Nobody understood where I was coming from… Why I did what I did. They all thought I'd falsely accused Sid for some petty revenge. Everyone was saying a lot of shit.

Papa and Sid decided that the best way to stop the rumours would be for me to marry Sid. And… I didn't want to, Armaan. I swear I didn't."

She looked up at him as she said that, unsurprised to find him crying quietly. His grip on her was impossibly tight, and yet his arms seemed to itching to hold her closer. His face was turned away from her and he was quietly sobbing into the pillow, but hadn't interrupted her as he'd promised he wouldn't. Riddhima dropped her face back into Armaan's chest, seeking his warmth. "I didn't want to marry him," she repeated. It was important for her that he know she would never have married Sid if she had another choice.

"I know," Armaan sobbed out. "I'm sorry I ever thought you did. I'm sorry I said all that to you. I never should have. I should've asked you why you did what you did. I should have helped you. I should've done better."

"I tried so hard, Armaan. But then, people started badmouthing Mumma. And she overheard them saying such disgusting things about her. She fell sick after that. And then when Papa told me to marry Sid to save Mumma and Mumma told me to marry him to repay Papa for all that he'd done for the two of us, I wasn't able to say no.

Atul knew I didn't want to marry Sid and bless his heart, he tried so hard to stop the wedding. But, I think after a point I became numb to all of that. Mumma's face kept revolving in my head and I gave in. But I couldn't bring myself to actually marry Sid.

So… The night of the wedding, I…" She trailed off. This was the most difficult part. She didn't know if she wanted Armaan to know that she'd tried to attempt suicide. She didn't want him to see her differently. But, she knew that if she wasn't completely honest with him, she'd never find the peace she was looking for.

"What… What did you do?" Armaan asked, scared. He tugged her closer to him. Closer. Closer. Closer. He needed to feel her, to make sure she was here, in his arms. That she was alive and breathing. Because right now, it seemed like a miracle that she was.

"I drank poison," Riddhima mumbled softly.

"Basket!" Armaan cried desperately, pushing her away to look at her face. "Why? I… All because of me. Because I was… I was a coward who couldn't face you when you came looking for me. I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. God, I'm the worst. This all happened because of me and then I behaved as if you'd committed some grave sin by marrying someone else. I'm just… Why do you love me? I don't deserve it," he sobbed.

"I love you," Riddhima wept. "I always will. None of this is your fault. Sid decided to play cheap tricks and I decided to drink the poison. None of this is your fault. You didn't make either of us do anything."

Armaan let out a choked sob at her words one more time. He dropped desperate kisses to every inch of her face, his arms wrapped around her like a vine. "You're okay," he kept mumbling to himself in between kisses. "You're okay. You're fine. You're here. You're alive."

"I am," Riddhima assured him. "I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm here. I'm alive."

"Ho— how did you…" Armaan trailed off, wanting to know how she'd survived.

"Sid found me," Riddhima laughed mirthlessly. "He found me and he saved me. After that… I had no choice, did I? I married him. After the wedding was over, I burnt all your memories to show Sid I would be loyal to him. But… That wasn't enough for him. Maybe because of what I'd done, or maybe for some other reason, Sid hated me and he hated that we were married. I think, more than anything else, he hated that we were forced to marry each other. He hated that while I'd burned physical evidence of you, I'd never been able to remove you from my heart. He hated that I wasn't comfortable around him, and more than anything else, he seemed to hate the fact that we didn't share an intimate relationship.

He was very rude to me when we were alone. And even in company. He would taunt me all the time. He humiliated me in front of his friends at every opportunity he got. There was this one time… On Holi. He dropped thandai on his shoes and told me to clean it for him in front of everyone else. I even bent down to wipe it off with my dupatta, but I guess he realized he wasn't doing the right thing he and stopped me before I could actually do it.

Whenever we were alone, he would always try to come close to me, but I was very uncomfortable and he didn't like that. But, he never gave me the time to get used to his presence in my life. One time when we were arguing, he pushed me so hard I fell and hit my head on the table. Then later, he felt guilty about pushing me so he broke a glass bottle on his hand. It was… I was scared, Armaan. I won't lie.

Things between us had also gotten bad. There were a few times when you held me too tight, but you'd never caused me to bleed. Ever. And yes, you punished yourself every time too, and it scared me, but… What Sid did. I was so afraid, Armaan. Sometimes I felt like I would die from that fear. And the a taunts and humiliation didn't make anything easy. I dreaded being in his presence, but we had to play the happy couple in front of everyone else, so we did.

And then, Papa sent us on a honeymoon so that we could get to know each other better. That's when things started getting a little bit better, but when we came back, I found out that Sid had never even told his mother that he'd gotten married. He made me lie to her for weeks, Armaan. He told her I was his friend's wife and I was living with him because I was fighting with my husband. And I went along with it because he was my husband and I had to keep him happy. That's around the time you came back as well, and then… Well you know how it went.

I convinced myself that I liked Sid so that my life could be better. At one point I tried to convince myself that I loved him too. That I was in love with him, but I never could. I still pretended though. And I got so good that he didn't realize. Not at first. Actually, neither of us did. You were the glue holding our relationship together, Armaan. And when you weren't there, we fell apart so quickly.

I suggested the annulment a few months after you left, and Sid agreed. Papa didn't. He never had, whenever either of us had suggested a separation in the past. I always gave in when he intervened, but not then. I was tired of living a lie, of pretending to be happy in a marriage I had never wanted in the first place.

But more than that, I was tired of lying to myself, thinking I could be happy in a marriage with anyone but you. I was tired of disappointing Sid, too. He had wanted to move forward in our relationship, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was just so miserable every single day. I used to look forward to going to the hospital for some peace. I started taking extra work, getting into research, making more rounds, attending more patients. Work became my escape. And slowly, it became my life.

When Sid saw I was serious about separating, that I would never take an effort to make the relationship work, he agreed. He'd wanted a divorce, but I insisted on an annulment because I went into the relationship for all the wrong reasons. My lawyer agreed. It took a while, but I was able to get what I wanted. And yes, it made things tense with Papa, even with Abhi for a while, and with Nikki worse than they were… But I was so proud of myself. I still am.

I took charge of my life for the first time and did what I wanted, what I needed. And it felt so good. I'm glad I did. With time… I was able to forget it all too, because I was so happy in my new life. Sid and I even became friends, but recently… Well, let's just say he wasn't the person I thought he was. Turns out, deep inside he's still that selfish man-child who only cares about himself. I don't want that kind of person in my life. Neither should Tamanna."

"What… What did he do?" Armaan asked. At Riddhima's confused look, he clarified. "To make you realize he hadn't changed… What did he do?"

Riddhima stopped short at that. It wasn't her story to tell. She shouldn't tell him. "I can't… I can't tell you," she murmured.

"Basket… You can trust me," Armaan coaxed.

"I know," Riddhima replied. "I do," she corrected herself. "But this isn't about me. Nikki doesn't want me to…" She trailed off, realizing her mistake.

"Nikki?" Armaan questioned. "She doesn't want me to know what?"

And then suddenly, it was clear. He'd seen Riddhima & Sid drift apart around the exact same time that he'd told Nikki about the letters. "Sid hid my letters," he stated, more fact than question.

When Riddhima didn't say anything, he gently probed her. "He did, didn't he?"

"He did," Riddhima agreed. There was no point in denying it when he knew. "Sid moved into Abhi & Nikki's old apartment after our separation. By the time your letters started arriving, he was the one living there. He hid them because he didn't want you to come back. He didn't want you to know that we'd separated because he was harbouring hope that I'd give him another chance. And when I found out about it, he didn't even feel guilty about what he'd done. He only felt guilty that he was caught. He even tried to force me to forgive him. After that, whatever tatters remained of our relationship were unsalvageable too. I won't forgive him for this, Armaan. Not ever. He can behave anyway he wants with me, but what he did to you and Nikki… He kept you away from all of us for years. He knew how much all of us missed you and he had those letters just lying around and didn't say a word. It just makes me so mad!"

She threw her hands up in frustration. Armaan caught them and placed a kiss on her palm. "You're going to be fine. You don't need Sid. You'll be much happier without him."

"I will," Riddhima agreed, settling into his arms once more.

"You're so brave. You're a warrior. I'm so proud of you, Basket. You deserved so much better from everyone. From me, from your parents, from your friends, definitely from Sid. I'm so sorry you had to fight this battle alone. I'm so sorry I wasn't there by your side. And I'm so, so, so sorry about the part I played in everything. I should have done better. I shouldn't have lied to you. I shouldn't have blamed you for marrying someone else. I shouldn't have pushed you into making up with Sid. I just… I thought I was doing the right thing in getting you and Sid together. I thought he loved you and he'd keep you happy. I thought you might grow to love him too. I'm sorry I didn't see him clearly. I'm so sorry for everything," he whispered into her hair.

"You will never ever have to go through something like that again," he promised. "You will never have to live in fear. Not of anything. I promise, Basket. I'll always be there for you. I'll always protect you. You will not know anything but happiness for the rest of your days. You don't have to worry now. I got you. Always."

Riddhima pushed herself closer to him. She felt so much lighter that he knew, and that he was still there despite everything. That he chose to stay even after he knew what a mess she was. "I love you," she mumbled. "I love you so much. I can't live without you. Please don't leave me."

"I won't," Armaan promised. And she believed him. For the first time since the day Riddhima woke up after the shoot-out, she finally felt like she could breathe. Life wasn't so bad. Not anymore.

Hmm.. Hmm..

Hmm..

Bhool ke raste saare

Baithe dil ke bichaare

Jo tu humein na pukaare

Mushkil milte kinaare

Nadiyan baarish tujhse hoti thi

Sukhe baadal tu hi bheegoti thi

Wo titli jisne baahein chumi thi

Wo mitti ki gullak jo tooti thi

Kahti phir se tu ghar aaja

Tu ghar aaja mere yaar mere yaar

Tuta hai pull wahan

Tu mere paas aaja mere yaar

Dhundhla sa lage jahaan

Tu aake dhoop ban ja mere yaar

Hmm.. Hmm..

Hmm..

Sardi bhi thi sharmaayi

Tu neele suit mein aayi

Phir nazre jo milaayi

Haaye iss dil ki thi tabaahi

Dekha nahin tujhe arso se

Baat nahin ab barsho se

Khoye huye tere charcho se hai kahan

Pahado mein mera basera hai

Gale mein ye muffler tera hai

Aake tu isko aadha odh jaa..

Nadiyan baarish tujhse hoti thi

Sukhe baadal tu hi bheegoti thi

Wo titli jisne baahein chumi thi

Wo mitti ki gullak jo tooti thi

Kahti phir se tu ghar aaja

Tu ghar aaja mere yaar mere yaar

Tuta hai pull wahan

Tu mere paas aaja mere yaar

Dhundhla sa lage jahaan

Tu aake dhoop ban ja mere yaar

Hmm.. Hmm..

Hmm..

Jis raah tu aaye wo tu bhoolti jaaye

Jo tu aaye phir na jaaye

Jis raah tu aaye wo tu bhoolti jaaye

Wahan patte gir jaaye baarish ho jaaye

Jis raah tu aaye wo tu bhoolti jaaye

Wahan patte gir jaaye baarish ho jaaye

- Toota Pull Wahaan, The Deepak Rathore Project

Track 64 - Kar Chalna Shuru Tu, Shilpa Rao & Vishal Dadlani

"Good morning, Dr. Mallik!" A chipper Devyani greeted Armaan as he walked into the locker room the next day. Armaan tried to smile at her, but failed miserably, still bogged by the weight of Riddhima's truth. He hadn't had much sleep last night either, tossing & turning, thinking about all that she had revealed to him. He was genuinely stumped at her strength. He'd always known that his Basket was a strong woman. She'd survived finding out she was adopted, had picked herself back up every time he'd broken her heart, had weathered through his amnesia… Doing everything with a smile on her face. But this? This was something else. The magnitude of what Sid had put her through… Armaan had never wanted to beat someone as bad in his entire life. It was a wonder truly, that he hadn't yet.

Armaan knew he was no saint. He hadn't been the best partner to Riddhima when they'd been together. He'd gotten a little rough with her a few times, and yes, he'd hurt her emotionally a lot more. He regretted that deeply. He'd already apologized for it too, and by some miracle, Riddhima had forgiven him as well… But what Sid had done… He couldn't imagine doing that in his wildest dreams. Clicking photos, imposing himself on her, pushing her so hard that she banged her head with a force enough to make her bleed… And that was not counting the mental trauma of having to be humiliated in front of all her juniors day in and day out, of living in the same house as the man whose mere presence made her quiver in fear because she didn't know what he'd do next… Yeah, Armaan wanted to beat Sid up.

But more than that, he was mad at himself… For thinking that Sid had ever been the right choice for Riddhima, for helping Sid woo her, for treating him like a brother, for loving him like one. He should've been a better judge of character. To think that he'd all but pushed Riddhima into the arms of the man who had hurt her so much made him want to hit himself so hard. Even if unknowingly, he had made her life harder, had made her reconcile with her… He couldn't even think the word. Not for Riddhima. Riddhima deserved nothing but happiness in her life and to think that's the thing she craved for the most… It broke his heart.

"Armaan! Kaisa hai?" Atul's anxious voice pulled him out of his self loathing.

"Hi Champ," he mumbled, not looking him in the eye. He didn't know how to feel about Atul. Riddhima had repeatedly assured him that had it not been for Atul she would not have survived those days before the wedding… But why had he not stopped the wedding itself? He may have tried his best, but his best wasn't fuxking good enough. Riddhima still had to marry the man who didn't think twice about getting into bed with her to click pictures to use as blackmail.

But, even still, Armaan knew that if there was something Atul could've done to stop it all from happening, he'd done it… Because that's the kind of person he was. He tried his best at everything he did. He poured his heart and soul into it. But sometimes, things didn't work out the way he wanted. That was life. It just sucked so much that this time, his failure ended in Riddhima's unwanted marriage.

Oblivious to the internal struggle in Armaan's mind, Atul walked up to him and pulled him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry I wasn't around," he said. What Atul was apologizing for was not being there when Armaan lost his patient, but what Armaan heard it as, in his current state, was Atul apologizing for not being there when Riddhima needed him. For a single, torturous second, Armaan contemplated pushing Atul away before he gave into his sorrow and burrowed into Atul's arms.

A few moments later, Atul pulled back and patted Armaan's head. "Don't worry, Armaan. It'll be okay. You can't save everyone every time. I know it sounds a little callous, but that's the truth. As doctors, we need to face it."

It took a minute for Atul's words to register and that's when Armaan realized what was happening. Losing the patient seemed like such a distant memory now, even though it felt like his life had ended in that exact second. Had it only been the day before yesterday? That seemed unreal to him. Now, nothing mattered except Riddhima's pain. Not even the life of a patient. Maybe, he was a bad doctor for thinking the way he was, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not right now. Not when he'd just found out what Riddhima had been through in his absence, because of his absence. If he hadn't ever left her, no one would've been able to even look at her cross-eyed, much less pull such disgusting crap with her.

"Armaan! Are you okay?" Anjali questioned, choosing that moment to make an appearance. She gave him a hug, squeezing him tight. "I heard. I'm so sorry about the patient."

"It's fine," Armaan assured the couple. "I'm okay now."

"Of course you are," Anjali teased. "I heard Rahul called Ridzy."

Armaan snorted a laugh. "All you busybodies need to keep your nose out of this. At all times. I know it's very exciting for all of you, but for the love of God, please do not interfere."

"That's like asking us to not breathe," Atul quipped. "Armaan, I am disappointed. You really think we're just going to sit back and do nothing?"

"Ummm, yes! Please!" Armaan cried. "Tum sab kabab mein haddi apne kaam se kaam rakho, yaar! Meri zindagi safal ho jaayegi."

"Come on! As our resident matchmaker," Anjali laughed. "You've always helped us. Ab humaari baari hai!"

"Exactly!" Armaan agreed. "I'm the resident matchmaker. I've matchmade all of you. I don't need your help. I can do it myself!"

"Firstly toh matchmade koi word nahi hota," Anjali responded. "And secondly, please enlighten us on what you're gonna do?"

"That's for me to know and you to absolutely not find out," Armaan told her. "Seriously… I don't want you guys to get overexcited and do anything. Please, just let us figure it out on our own."

"Oho. Toh baat yahaan tak pohonch gayi hai. Us. Our. Not bad, mere sher!" Atul joked, whacking Armaan's back. "I'm proud of you!"

"Shut up, Atul!" Armaan replied cheekily, making Anjali scowl.

"You're the worst," she declared, making Armaan laugh even more. "I'm gonna tell Ridzy," she threatened when the chuckles didn't stop.

"Be my guest," Armaan wheezed, laughing even harder. "I can't believe you're threatening to tattle like a second grader. Sh*t, you two really are sisters!"

Anjali harrumphed. "See if I help you now, you insufferable idiot."

"Exactly what I wanted. Thank you!" Armaan crowed.

"This is fun," Atul commented. "I like this. It's like before."

Armaan sobered up at that. "It is, isn't it?" He asked rhetorically, a soft smile on his face.

"Maybe I should get used to barging in on you once more," Anjali teased. "If it's like before."

"Get lost!" Armaan snarled playfully, blushing at her words. "It's not like that."

"OH MY GODS! DR. ARMAAN MALLIK! IS THAT A BLUSH I SEE?" Anjali asked, delighted. "Oh! This is the best day of my life!"

"Shut up!" He muttered once more.

"Awww, so cute, Armaan!" Anjali cooed, pulling her best friend into a hug.

"Whatever," Armaan scoffed, hugging her back nevertheless.

Anjali's pager rang, breaking their moment. She checked it and sighed. "Duty calls! You boys have fun. And Armaan… Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She advised, winking cheekily. Armaan laughed and waved her off. The two boys stood there for a minute, smiling as they watched her leave.

"Coffee?" Armaan asked Atul once she was out of sight.

"Definitely," Atul agreed.

Once the two of them had settled down with their coffee at the terrace, Atul gave Armaan time to say whatever it was that he wanted to. Atul could see that Armaan was itching to talk about something but was hesitant to. It's why he'd insisted on taking their coffees up to the terrace. Armaan hadn't questioned his spending time with nature spiel, used to his antics by now, and for that he was thankful. He'd missed his friend so much these past few years. There had always been an understanding between them that Atul didn't have with any of his other friends. Armaan knew him in a way that no one else did, not even his wife. Similarly, he knew Armaan pretty well too. Maybe not as well as Rahul, but he did. And Armaan needed to get some stuff out of his system, that much was clear.

Sure enough, after almost finishing his entire mug in silence, Armaan took a deep breath before saying, "Basket told me. About her wedding."

"Oh," Atul breathed. This was definitely not what he was expecting. He was glad though. He was happy that, finally, Riddhima was opening up, was being honest about the hell she'd been through. For years now, he'd been trying to convince her to talk about it, but she kept everything bottled up close to her chest. It scared him how she folded into herself whenever he asked her to talk about it. She'd gone through such a traumatic experience, and from what he could piece together from the outside, things hadn't gotten better after the wedding either. The marriage had barely lasted a year before Riddhima had filed for an annulment. That was all the information Atul needed to understand how bad it had been. For someone like Riddhima who believed in marriage so deeply, for whom marriage was such a huge commitment, a life-long vow no matter what… For her to walk away from it, to fight so that the marriage didn't exist in the first place… It was a big deal.

"Yeah," Armaan mumbled. "Oh."

"How… How are you…" Atul trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"I don't know," Armaan muttered. "It's just… Too much. Sid should be glad he's still alive, though. That's all I can say."

"Armaan… You know violence isn't the answer," Atul sighed.

"I know," Armaan agreed. "That's why I haven't hit him even though I really want to. I want to handle this maturely. You know the old Armaan would've charged in guns blazing and it would have ended with Sid in the hospital. But… I don't want to do that. I'm better than that. I don't want to behave like some street thug. Riddhima deserves better."

"Heck yeah she does!" Atul cried, laughing despite the seriousness of the situation. He'd never thought he'd see the day when Armaan Mallik would prefer using words over fists. "I'm glad that you've grown up, Armaan. You're right. Sid would've been in the hospital by now if you'd found out seven years ago. I get the urge though, because I kinda want to do it, too. Sid… I thought we were friends, that he made a mistake. But, maybe I was too close to the situation to see it clearly. Now, I do. What he did that night in Panchgani… That was necessary to save Ridzy's life. And in fact, I think I did inevitably suggest he do that.

I still remember… Sid had called me late at night, panicking out of his mind. And I'd… Well, I was scared. I didn't want to lose Ridz. So, I did tell him that body heat would be the best way to get Riddhima's body warm. I knew that Riddhima wouldn't like that, but saving her life was more important. I just never thought that she'd be delirious enough the entire time to think that Sid had…

Well, I can't even blame her. After the photos… It wasn't much of a stretch to think he could do that too. I should've supported her more, tried harder. But after Padma Aunty got sick, Dr. Shashank absolutely refused to listen to reason. And I think… I think Billy said something…"

"Billy? Why the fuxk was he involved?" Armaan burst.

"He was in Panchgani then, wasn't he? Riddhima met him first. He told her where to look for you. And Sid was there too. I think he felt that Sid looked after Ridz pretty well, given how hysterical she was. She was… I've never seen her like that before. Not even after the amnesia. She was… I was scared for her. She was so determined to find you, not ready to listen to anything. I was scared that her obsession with finding you would land her in trouble… And I was right, wasn't I? It did.

Sid saved her life and I'll always be grateful for that, but what he did pushed Riddhima into a marriage she fought against till the last moment. My heart broke that day, Armaan. Seeing her dressed as a bride for someone other than you. She looked dead as she sat in that mandap. I had to actually check if she was breathing because she was so… So lifeless. I wanted to run away with her… To take her away from all that… The constant pressure, the demands of her parents. They asked her to sacrifice everything so easily, to just give up on everything she'd ever wanted as if it was nothing. As if they were just asking her to give up a toy and not a living, breathing person. Riddhima wanted to wait for you, you know. She knew you'd come back for her. But Dr. Shashank and Padma Aunty hardly gave her a choice."

"I still can't believe Dr. Shashank did that," Armaan mumbled, wiping at his tears. She knew you'd come back for her. Armaan didn't know how desperate he had been to hear those words till Champ had actually said them. It meant everything to him that despite everything, Riddhima had faith in him, in their relationship, in his love for her. She still knew him the best. She still trusted him the most. He left her for dead when she came looking for him after fighting with her father, and yet she still wanted to wait for him to come back, not knowing when that would be.

"I can't believe it either," Atul agreed. "He… It was so bad, Armaan. I have never seen Dr. Shashank like that before. He wouldn't let Riddhima get a word in. He just ordered her to marry Sid as if he owned her. I felt so disappointed. I'd never anticipated things would get so bad. If I had, maybe…"

"You wouldn't have made a different choice," Armaan argued gently. "You said it yourself… In that situation, there was no better way to save Riddhima's life."

"But what use was saving her life if I couldn't help her live it the way she wanted?" Atul sighed. "I think that's the reason why I distanced myself from her too. Blaming it on your break up was just easier, but in truth, I was feeling ashamed of myself for not being able to stop the wedding. I should have done so much better, Armaan. Ridz deserved a whole lot better than what she got from me."

"Champ…" Armaan whispered.

"Don't," Atul cut him off. "Don't try to console me or patronize me. You know I'm right. I know you know I'm right. I know you think the same."

"Well, she deserved better from me too," Armaan mumbled.

"Oh, so, so, so much better from you," Atul agreed instantly.

"You're supposed to console me!" Armaan cried.

"What's true is true," Atul shrugged. "And the truth is that every single person in Riddhima's life let her down. We all should have done better. Frankly, some days I'm surprised she still associates with any of us. She was at her weakest then and we all just left her alone to deal with so much grief and so much trauma and just expected her to carry on like nothing was wrong while pressuring her into things she didn't want because we thought we knew better than her. Nobody deserves that."

"You're right," Armaan replied. "You're so right. You know, I always felt guilty for leaving the way I did, for lying to her… But now it's so much worse. I assumed the worst of her, Champ. She fuxking took a bullet for me and I couldn't stand the fact that she had apparently moved on from me and behaved so badly with her. I pushed her into a relationship she wasn't ready for because I thought that was the best thing for her. She never once said she liked Sid, not ever… And I misinterpreted her silence, thinking she had feelings for him, that she would be able to be happy with him. And then, when she actually told me that Sid was nothing but a responsibility that she had to fulfil because she'd married him… Instead of being around to support her and help her through it, I packed my bags and left, never to look behind. I never checked up on her, never tried to see if she was doing okay. She told me she loved me, Champ… And I… I still left her behind. God, I'm the worst. Why does she still love me?"

"Because that's who she is," Atul told him. "She's always been like this, hasn't she? She sees the best in people, and she forgives them in a heartbeat, no matter what. She can't hold a grudge to save her life, but she loves so immensely that I'm surprised her heart hasn't burst from it yet.

The two of you are very alike that way, you know. For all that the world says you two are complete opposites, I think you're the same people wearing different skins. You're both actually literally the same people… It's just that your coping mechanism is being a goof and hers is being a know-it-all."

"Whatever," Armaan scoffed.

"Okay," Atul asked. "Tell me something… When you thought Riddhima had moved on… Genuinely moved on, that she liked Sid and was happy with him… Did you stop loving her? Despite of the fact that you felt… Well, you did feel she betrayed you, didn't she? And yet… Did you ever stop loving her?"

"No," Armaan grudgingly admitted. "Not once."

"So, if you still loved her despite, what was in your eyes, the worst betrayal to your relationship, why are you surprised that she still loves you despite you accusing her of doing that?" Atul probed. "You're doing it again, Armaan. By thinking this way, you're underestimating her love for you. Don't do that. She loves you. That's what matters. The rest of it? That's just science."

"When did you get so wise?" Armaan chuckled through his tears.

"I was always wise," Atul quipped. "You just felt you were wiser."

Armaan cackled. "You're right."

"I know," was the smug retort.

"What do I do now?" Armaan wondered out loud.

"That's something you have to decide," Atul said. "But, if you want my advice… Well, don't make the same mistake Riddhima did. Don't give up on love for some misplaced sense of responsibility. Don't think that you have to let her go because you don't deserve her. Only Riddhima gets to decide what she deserves, what she wants. And she wants you. The question is… Do you want her too?"

"When have I ever not?" Armaan questioned rhetorically. Admitting this to Atul was a lot easier than saying it out loud to Riddhima.

"So then… That's your answer, isn't it? Woo her back," Atul advised.

"Yeah," Armaan murmured. And then once more, enthusiastically, he cried, "Yeah!"

"You're absolutely right!" He continued. "I want Riddhima to be a part of my life. Always. And I'm gonna make that happen!"

"Yes, you are!" Atul cheered. Pulling Armaan into a hug, he said, "I'm so proud of you."

Armaan pulled back just enough to drop a smacking kiss on Atul's cheek. "Thanks, Champ! You're the best. I love you!"

And right there, with his Champ's bright laughter echoing in the air, their arms still wrapped in a snug hug, Armaan began plotting. He had a Basket to woo.

— — —

Shreeya was taking Devyani on rounds when she saw him and panicked. There, on the bench in the corridor… Was Dr. Armaan Mallik. But, that wasn't what made her panic. What made her panic was that he was bleeding.

"Dr. Armaan!" Devyani cried, rushing to where he was lying. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Then, she answered her own question. "That's stupid. Of course you're not okay. You're bleeding!"

Armaan cursed internally. He hadn't thought this through… Hadn't counted on someone other than Riddhima finding him, maybe because no one else ever had. But, he should've taken it into consideration.

"It… It's okay," he intentionally rasped.

"It's not!" Shreeya cried. "Let us help you to the ER."

"No, no!" He cried. "I'm fine!"

"You're bleeding," Devyani repeated, stating the obvious.

"It'll stop," Armaan insisted.

"At least me get you first aid," Shreeya pleaded.

He couldn't argue with that so he relented. Devyani immediately rushed to get the kit. She wasn't looking where she was going, given the hurry she was in, and ended up bumping into Riddhima & Nikki.

"Dr. Devyani!" Riddhima cried, steadying her as she lost her footing. "Relax. Are you okay?"

"Dr. Armaan! First Aid!" Devyani replied, rushing away, not explaining herself properly.

"Armaan?!?" Both Riddhima and Nikki chorussed, looking at each other. Nikki turned around, looking for him, and found Shreeya on the bench with him a few paces away.

"Maani!" She cried rushing to him and kneeling in front of him. "Are you okay?"

"Jaani," Armaan replied, cursing himself even more. "I'm okay."

"You're bleeding!" Nikki cried. "You're obviously not okay."

Before Armaan could reply, Riddhima reached there. Towering over Armaan, she cleared her throat, loudly. "What's going on here?"

"I'm bleeding," Armaan told her. Shreeya and Nikki looked at her and nodded frantically.

"Oh, I see," Riddhima answered, more interested in inspecting her nails than the supposedly bleeding man in front of her.

"Sit up," she ordered.

"Ridzy! He's bleeding!" Nikki repeated.

"Hmmm," Riddhima hummed, just as Armaan smiled cheekily.

A swift, well placed kick to his foot and Armaan cried in pain, sitting up. "BASKET! That hurt!"

"Good," she gloated. "It was meant to."

"Riddhima, what are you doing? That poor boy is already bleeding!" Shreeya reprimanded.

"Yes, Riddhima! I'm already bleeding," Armaan pointed the corner of his mouth, showing her the spot where he was "bleeding".

Huffing, Riddhima reached down and swiped her finger there. Armaan's sharp intake of breath at her actions was not missed by anybody. Riddhima stopped too, momentarily stunned by her own forwardness, before she shrugged and lifted her finger. Making a show of inspecting it, she licked the "blood" of her finger. Armaan groaned at the sight, making her smirk. This was better than she expected.

"Hmmm," she mumbled around her finger. "Blood. Yes… Your blood is very tasty, Dr. Mallik. I have to give you that… Hmmm... Is it Heinz?"

"Yes," Armaan muttered petulantly.

"We had a rule, didn't we?" Riddhima questioned.

"Yes," Armaan answered, looking properly chastised.

"Oh, good. So you remember. What was the rule?" She asked.

"What?" Armaan looked up at her, surprised.

"Tell me what the rule was," Riddhima repeated.

"Do I have to?" Armaan all but whined. Nikki barked a laugh at that, but one look from Armaan and she stopped.

Riddhima raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed. "No masti, no shaitaani, only duty nibhaani."

"And did we do that?" Riddhima probed, doing her best to hide her smile. She couldn't help it. Armaan was just too cute. And reciting their "rule" the way he did, all she wanted was to pinch his cheeks. She remembered that time, all those years ago, in her parents' kitchen, when they'd first come up with the rule. No masti, no shaitaani, only dosti nibhaani. She'd been so in love with him even then, but hadn't even realized. When he'd come up with that stupid rhyme, she'd wanted to pinch his cheeks then too. But like she had then, she tamped down the urge to do so. She didn't think he'd appreciate her doing that in front of Nikki and Shreeya.

"Well… We didn't exactly specify what duty entailed, did we?" Armaan fired back, trying to take back some control of the conversation.

"What?" Riddhima asked, confused.

"I feel it's my duty to prank you," Armaan clarified. "So… I didn't break any rules, did I?"

"Armaaaaaan!" Riddhima reprimanded.

"Basketttt! Come on! Don't be such a spoilt sport," Armaan said. "I just… Well, I really missed this sauce, you know. Sauce in America isn't as good."

Riddhima blushed at his innuendo. "Armaan, tum mere saath flirt karne ki koshish mat karo, okay?"

"Pch," Armaan clicked his tongue. "Tumhe kitni baar batana padta hai, Basket. Main tumhaare saath flirt karne ki koshish nahi kar raha. Main flirt kar raha hoon! God, I need to up my game if you still think main sach mein flirt nahi kar raha!"

"Bohot smart samajhte ho apne aap ko?" Riddhima asked rhetorically.

"Samajhta nahi, sweetheart. Hoon," Armaan replied smugly, his eyes twinkling.

"Ugh! Why do I even bother with you. Tumse na… Baat karna hi bekaar hai! Jahannum mein jao!" She cried, walking away from there, but then stopping after taking a couple of steps. She really walked into that one, didn't she?

Predictably, Armaan called after her. "Heyo, Basket! Address toh batati jao!"

"Okay, that's it!" Riddhima cried. She turned around and grabbed Armaan's arm, pulling him with her. Armaan chuckled and went willingly, waving back at Nikki and Shreeya. Nikki waved back, amused, while Shreeya looked like she couldn't decide if she needed to go after them to rescue Armaan or not.

"She's gonna kill him, isn't she?" Shreeya asked once the two were out of sight.

Nikki laughed. "More like the exact opposite."

Are they dating?" Shreeya probed. "I don't know. I think they're dating. They have this weird thing going on where I'm sure they'll either marry each other or murder each other and I cannot decide which."

"Oh, they'll get married," Nikki replied confidently. A moment later, she turned to her and asked, "Do you wanna bet on it? We have a betting pool on how long it'll take them to tie the knot."

"UM, YES! Obviously!" Shreeya cried.

"Awesome!" Nikki laughed. "Let me introduce you to the others who have lots of money riding on this!"

And the two of them walked away from there, oblivious to Devyani who was standing a few paces away, dumb struck. Her seniors were all idiots, she decided in that moment. Huffing, she resumed her work. She didn't have time for this.

— — —

"What's going on?" Riddhima asked Armaan once she'd pulled him into the fire escape.

"What?" Armaan asked, fighting the urge to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go. This was the first time he'd seen her since he'd left her home last night, and he needed to make sure she was okay. That she wasn't hurt. That she was fine. Instead, he looked away, kicking at an imaginary pebble. "Nothing."

"Armaan," Riddhima sighed. She stepped closer to him and made him turn to look at her. "You don't have to try so hard to make it seem like everything is normal. It's not. I know it's not."

"What are you talking about?" Armaan replied, deciding to play oblivious. "Everything is awesome. That was just a stupid prank. Don't read too much into it."

"You can hide from others. But not from me," Riddhima told him. Reaching up, she gently traced the corner of his right eye, which was still a little sore from all the crying he'd done last night. "I see you."

Armaan didn't reply. "Did you cry yourself to sleep last night?" She probed.

"That implies I slept," Armaan mumbled.

"Oh, Armaan!" Riddhima whispered. She wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug. Unable to resist any longer, Armaan hugged her back, pulling her tight, their bodies flush against each other.

"Where were you this morning?" He asked into her shoulder. "I was so worried when you didn't show up at court."

"I'm sorry," she apologized immediately. "Karan called so I didn't go for my morning jog."

Armaan smiled at that. "Did you like that he called?" He asked her softly, pulling away from the hug. He reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears and Riddhima smiled, pushing her face into his palm.

"I did," she finally whispered. "It was nice to talk to him. I spoke to Shilpa too. It was… Less awkward than it used to be. I'm glad Karan gave me a chance."

Armaan grinned. "I'm glad you're glad."

"Enough about me," Riddhima commanded. Sitting down on a step, she pulled him down too. "How are you? You didn't say anything last night. I'm worried about you. Please don't pretend like everything is fine. I know it's not."

"I'm sorry," Armaan told her. "I'm so, so, so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Riddhima asked, confused.

"All this is my fault," Armaan sobbed. "I shouldn't… This started because I left you. I lied to you. I wasn't there when you needed me. I should've been there. I'm sorry."

"Armaan," Riddhima sighed. "None of this is your fault. How can you guarantee that Sid wouldn't have done what he did with you around? Maybe he would have."

"But you'd never have to marry him," Armaan contradicted. "I would have never let you marry him."

"I know," Riddhima agreed. "I know you wouldn't have. But… What's done is done. It's no use crying over the past."

"Your entire life got destroyed because of me and you want me to not think about it?" Armaan asked. When Riddhima opened her mouth to say something, he cut her off. "Don't try to belittle what happened. And don't try to say it wasn't my fault. It was, Basket, because we both know that had I been there you never would've had to marry Sid."

"I'm not married to him now," Riddhima pointed out.

"But you were," Armaan insisted. "And I… I blamed you for moving on without knowing the whole story. I was so rude to you. And then I tried to set you up with him. I thought he was a good husband, that he loved you…. He wasn't even a decent person. You were… God, you were suicidal, Riddhima. And instead of trying to help you, he guilted you because you weren't the kind of wife he wanted? Why did he marry you then, if he didn't like you? I just… I never should have encouraged you to pursue a relationship with him. I'm so sorry."

"You were only trying to help me. Armaan, honestly… I never held that against you. Had I been in your place… I'd never have been able to help your wife in mending fences with you because I was so in love with you. How could I watch you be happy with someone else when every second I'd just wish it was me instead of her? Why do you think I was always so rude to Shilpa? I could see she liked you, and I know you had a soft spot for her. I was jealous of her. Instead of trying to bring you two together, I actively pushed you apart," Riddhima told him.

"I always knew you were jealous of her," Armaan laughed through his tears. "You were so bad at hiding it."

"I know," Riddhima rubbed her forehead. "You… I don't blame you for anything, okay? If I had been in your shoes, I might have done the same. I can understand why you did what you did. Was it the right thing? I'm not sure. But… Nevertheless, I understand. So, I have no complaints. Maybe, this was supposed to happen the way it did. Who knows, if I hadn't married Sid, maybe I'd have never realized how important you are to me and how much I love you."

"How can you find a silver lining in this?" Armaan asked.

"I just can," Riddhima shrugged. "I know it's not easy to digest it all… And I'm… If it makes you want to change your mind about us…" She trailed off. It was so difficult for her to say this, but she needed to. Armaan had a choice. Always. "If it makes you want to change your mind… I would understand."

"Shut up!" Armaan barked. "Is that what you think? That I'd leave because of this? That I'd make the same mistake again?"

"Armaan… My past is not… It's very messy. And in many ways, I haven't moved on from what happened back then. Not yet. It's ugly and it's messy and if you don't want to get involved in it, that's fine," Riddhima told him.

"Never!" Armaan cried, pulling her into his arms. "I'm a mess too, aren't I? Whatever happened with Jaan, with Tamanna, with you… It messed me up. You've seen how it messed me up. Did that make you want to leave?" He asked her.

"How can I ever want to leave you when being with you is what I've been dreaming of for eight years now?" Riddhima answered.

"I'll do better this time, Riddhima," Armaan said. Pushing her away, he raised his palm in an oath, making Riddhima smile. "Main, Armaan Mallik… Riddhima Gupta se yeh vaada karta hoon… Ki main hamesha tumhaare saath hoon, har kadam pe tumhaara saath doonga, kabhi tumhe koi takleef nahi pohonchne doonga. Tumhaara dil kabhi nahi dukhaunga. Tumhe koi aanch nahi aane doonga. I'll protect you, Basket. Forever."

Riddhima laughed through her tears. "I know."

She reached up and wiped the tears that had fallen from Armaan's eyes. "I know," she repeated. "Iss baar, hum dono pichle galtiyaan nahi dohraayenge. We'll give our best, and we'll be happy together. Right?"

"Right," Armaan agreed. He wiped her tears as well, cupping her face in her hands. He dropped his forehead to touch hers. "You're absolutely right."

Riddhima grinned brightly and hugged him once more, hiding her face in his chest. "Don't blame yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but please… Don't. None of this is your fault. I'm here. You're here. We're okay."

"I'm here. You're here. We're okay," Armaan repeated, which was quickly becoming their mantra.

"That's like my Meenakumari!" Riddhima joked, making Armaan laugh.

"That stupid nickname again," Armaan muttered.

"Made you laugh," Riddhima shrugged.

"So it did, Basket," Armaan agreed. "So it did."

A moment later, he breathed, "We're okay."

"We're more than okay," Riddhima assured him. "We're freaking dazzling."

Armaan hugged her closer, hiding his face in her hair. If Riddhima said they were okay, then they were. That's all there was to it. It would take some time, but he'd make her wish come true. They'd be so dazzling that the world would watch, their jaws dropped in awe.

________________

Happy AR Reunion Day, y'all!

Hope you had fun reading the past few chapters! Armaan finally knows the whole truth, woohooooo! I have been waiting for this moment for so long. It's going to be such a huge turning point in the story. The coming chapters will be considerably light hearted than what we've seen so far.

Now that Riddhima's past is out in the open and Armaan understands why she did what she did, he's going to be all in, and that will definitely lift the melancholy mood that has been staple in the story so far. I don't think this will become too much like ILYLTF moving forward, but yes it will veer in that direction! I hope you're excited for that! Armaan & Riddhima are going to court each other and it's going to be so very amazing! I'm excited to write those parts!

Also, thank you so much for sticking to the story till now. Y'all are the best. I love you! <3

Jo hua hai woh hota hai
Jo hona hai woh hona hai
Jo tere bas mein baatein hai
Unhe khamakha kyun khona hai
Ho jitni bhi hai jitni bhi hai, umeedein leke
Jaaye kahan tak jaaye kahan tak, raastein dekhe
Kar chalna shuru tu
Mudhke naa dekh tu
Jaise hain sahin hain
Ek main aur ekk tu
Ho kar chalna shuru tu
Mudhke naa dekh tu
Jaise hain sahin hain
Ek main aur ekk tu
Ek main aur ekk tu

Nazariya dono ka
Miley na miley
Kadar dono ko hai dono ki
Safar tay yeh kare, saath mein bhale
Alag hai manzilein dono ki
Tukda tukda dhoop ho
Chaahe chutki bharke chaaon bhi
Baraabari se baatein ho zaroorat jo jis tarah ki

Ho jitni bhi hai jitni bhi hai, koshishein leke
Jaaye kahan tak jaaye kahan tak, raastein dekhe

Kar chalna shuru tu, shuru tu
Mudhke naa dekh tu, naa dekh mudke naa dekh tu
Jaise hain sahin hain, sahin hain sahin hain
Ek main aur ekk tu, ek main aur ekk tu

Kar chalna shuru tu
Mudhke naa dekh tu
Jaise hain sahin hain
Ek main aur ekk tu
Ek main aur ekk tu

Jo socha hai kab hota hai
Yehi hamesha ka rona hai
Soche bin mil jaaye jo
Usse khamakha kyun khona hai
Hmm jitni mile jitni mile, raahatein leke
Jaaye kahan tak jaaye kahan tak, raastein dekhe.

- Kar Chalna Shuru Tu, Shilpa Rao & Vishal Dadlani

You sure went on a writing spree. So many chapters.

cooking together and spending time with each other. They have come a long way.