Previously On...
Rahul tells everyone about how Billy mistreated Jaanhavi.
Track 39 - When We Were Young, Adele
The entire day passed in a daze as everyone mulled over Rahul's story. There were gaps, so many gaps, but they could all see that it had taken a toll on Rahul to talk about it, so no one asked him anything further. It was anyway so difficult for them to imagine the Billy they'd known could do something like this. Knowing more would hurt them more, like Rahul had cautioned.
Of them all, Nikki & Riddhima were affected most deeply. Nikki had known Billy Uncle almost all her life. Yes, she didn't think he was a great father, but she'd always been fond of him because of his playful and jolly nature. On the few occasions that she'd gone to Armaan's house and met him (which was even lesser than the times she'd gone to his house), he'd always made her laugh with his silly jokes and over - the - top persona. And, even though she knew that he wasn't a good father, she'd seen him be a great uncle. He would shower Jaanhavi with affection whenever she was around him - hugging her and kissing her forehead, buying her presents be it books or toys or clothes, always making sure she ate properly, having her favourite meals cooked all the time - she'd seen it all. She'd never seen him do the same things for Armaan.
There were many occasions when she would be stumped that Armaan didn't seem to be the least bit jealous of Jaanhavi and she'd see him watch Billy love on Jaanhavi with a soft, happy smile on his face. Finally, she'd mustered enough courage to ask him why he didn't envy Jaanhavi and his answer was something she'd never forget.
"Why should I be jealous of her? Jaanhavi is my little sister! And I'm happy that Dad at least loves one of us, makes time for one of us. Aur... mere liye haina, Bua Maa. You know... I'm sure she loves me more than Dad loves Jaan. Jab tak woh haina, I don't need anyone else to love me. Her love is more than enough."
Hearing a 14 year old boy talk with a maturity level that most adults couldn't achieve was not something she was expecting. She'd always known that Armaan had been mature, that he understood the workings of the world better than an average teenager, but that was the day she realized just how much he'd had to grow up at such an early age because of the circumstances at home.
But, his words had soothed her. She adored Jaanhavi and she didn't want there to be any sort of bad blood between her and Armaan because she knew that Jaanhavi was one of the very few people who genuinely cared for Armaan.
They'd always been so close. Armaan had been Jaanhavi's safe harbour, just like she had been Armaan's, in some ways. Jaanhavi always told Armaan everything, no matter how trivial. There were days when she'd tell him how many times she'd sneezed. So, she'd never ever imagined that Jaanhavi could keep something so huge from Armaan. It had shaken her deeply to find out that Jaanhavi had been so ill treated in her own home. Jaanhavi, who had once upon a time, been the closest thing Nikki had had to a sister.
She couldn't bring herself to shake the image of a young Jaanhavi, alone and scared, wanting escape in anyway, out of her mind. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw those frightened eyes, the quivering lips, felt those shallow breaths, the shaking limbs. Now, she wished she didn't know, that she hadn't talked Rahul into it. She understood his reluctance to share it with her, and with everybody else. But, what was done was done. She'd make it better somehow. She knew she would. That was all that mattered anyway.
Riddhima, on the other hand, was going through a torment of her own. She'd done it again. She'd inevitably hurt Armaan. So deeply. Sometimes, she wondered if that was all she was good at - hurting Armaan, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Why did she have to use her idiotic brain? Why did she have to do this? She could've done something else to cheer Armaan up, to bring a smile to his face. But then, she remembered the way she'd felt when Rahul had said those words - he wasn't in the habit of calling home to tell someone he'd be late - and knew that nothing else could have cheered him up as much as meeting someone who cared so much about him would have.
And, Billy Uncle did care. He cared so much. She would know, after all, she'd been the one who'd been on the receiving end of the endless calls he'd made, desperate for any tiny bit of information he could gather about him, desperate to find him. It had been 7 long years, and Billy Uncle had spent a lot of them trying to find Armaan, to bring him home.
But, she'd never known that Armaan's issues with Billy Uncle ran so much deeper than his fights with Ananya Aunty. She'd never known that Armaan's past had been so much worse than she'd imagined. And, she didn't even know all of it. How bad had it actually been? She couldn't even fathom all that he'd gone through, to become the person he had. Her heart ached for him. Her heart ached for him so badly.
She had to make this right, and soon. She'd come clean with Armaan, she decided. She'd apologize to him, explain that she only had the best intentions at heart. She couldn't let him suffer, wondering how Billy found him. She'd tell him the truth. She'd already told him a thousand lies to cover up the one truth she was hiding from him. She couldn't bear the burden of hiding anything else from him.
On the other hand, Jaanhavi had, finally, after hours, fallen asleep as Armaan hummed for her and caressed her hair lightly. She'd been completely hysterical all day, crying and sobbing. It just reminded Armaan how terrified she was of both of them. He couldn't even come to imagine how she'd gone through all of it. He would always be so very proud of her for coming out of it and achieving her dreams, becoming the person she wanted to be ever since she was a kid. He would always admire and respect her so much for doing that, for not backing down, for not letting her fear rule her life, and never letting her past affect her future. She was so brave, so strong.
But, she was at the same time, so vulnerable. Times like these, he would be reminded just how much. She'd become the Jaanhavi he'd known before. Shy and soft and a little withdrawn, just so very easily impacted by every little thing. The Jaanhavi he'd vowed to protect. And, he would. He would keep his promise this time - the one he'd made to Bua Maa, and also the one he'd made to himself. He would.
Late at night, after everyone else had gone to sleep, Tamanna finally managed to coax Jaanhavi into eating something. The girl hadn't eaten all day, wallowing in her grief. It had been very difficult for Jaanhavi to face her past all of a sudden, without any prior warning. She'd been taken aback, not knowing how to react, what to say, what to do. Maybe because she'd never ever envisioned a scenario where she'd see them again, unlike Tamanna who'd always told them that she knew that she hadn't seen the last of Aniket when he'd been imprisoned.
The suddenness of the visit, couple with her complete unpreparedness for such a situation, and the fact that she did not want to embarrass herself in front of all those guests had her running to her bedroom the second she'd seen them. She hadn't come out since, not that Tamanna and Rahul hadn't tried. But, after a few attempts, they'd decided it would be better to let Jaanhavi, and Armaan, deal with it the way they wanted to.
But, it was almost midnight now and Tamanna was worried because neither Armaan nor Jaanhavi had eaten a single morsel in the entire day. So, she'd talked Jaanhavi into eating, if only a little.
Rahul and Riddhima were waiting for the trio in the living room. Despite multiple protests and assurances from Rahul, Riddhima had insisted on staying there till she was sure that things were getting better. She was blaming herself for everything even though Rahul knew none of this was her fault.
Yes, she was the one who'd called Billy Uncle here, but how was she to know the reality of that man? Armaan himself hadn't known till 7 years prior. And, she was only trying to do something nice for Armaan. Rahul really appreciated the thought and he knew that once Armaan found out, he would too.
"Ah, here they are!" Rahul exclaimed as he saw them descend the stairs.
Riddhima smiled and immediately got up. "I'll get the food," she announced.
"Riddhima Di, it's not necessary! We can manage," Tamanna said, yet again.
Riddhima had told her and Rahul that once Armaan & Jaanhavi came to eat, she'd look after serving dinner and that the four of them should just concentrate on eating. Both, Rahul and Tamanna, had tried to talk her out of it but she was a stubborn lady and refused to budge.
"Tamanna! I told you. I don't mind. You guys haven't eaten anything all day. So, just stay put and let me worry about the food, okay?" Riddhima replied.
Tamanna nodded, sulking.
Ever since Riddhima had found out about Tamanna's past, and seen how hard she was trying to help make things right between Rahul & Muskaan, her behaviour towards Tamanna had changed drastically. Earlier, Riddhima used to shy away from any direct conversations with Tamanna and ignored her as much as possible.
But, in the past couple days, she'd spent sometime with Tamanna over wedding preparations and gotten to know her a little. Riddhima was surprised to find out that she actually enjoyed Tamanna's company a lot. She was right. Tamanna was similar to herself in many ways, which made it easier for them to understand each other. They had similar likes and dislikes, a similar set of values that they grew up with and a similar outlook in life.
"Let me help you," Tamanna told Riddhima, but Riddhima shook her head.
"Stay right there, Tam. You're not doing anything. Kabhi mere haath ka khana khake bhi dekhlo. I'm not that bad a cook, you know?" Riddhima teased.
"I'm sure you're great," Tamanna said, smiling. "But... I can help."
"You can," Riddhima agreed. "But I don't want you to. Just sit back and relax a little. Waise, I've cooked Gobi Parathas because Rohan told me they're Jaanhavi's favourite."
Riddhima looked at Jaanhavi and smiled. Jaanhavi returned it with a tentative smile of her own.
"Oh! Jaan!" Armaan exclaimed. "You're in for a treat. Riddhima is an amazing cook."
Riddhima was surprised to hear Armaan say this, but grinned wide when he did. Armaan caught her eye and smiled at her, silently thanking her. Riddhima just shook her head at him, indicating that he didn't have to thank her for anything.
Rahul watched intently as the two talked without words, like they used to when they were together. He was worried about the growing closeness between the two, because he knew that it wouldn't end well for either of them. In all these years, the one thing that Rahul had learnt was that no matter what, Armaan would never be able to forget Riddhima. She was the one love of his life. He'd learnt to be happy without her, but he hadn't learnt to love someone else like he loved her, and Rahul knew that he never would. Observing Riddhima in the past few days, and knowing her as well as he did, Rahul knew that it was the same for her. They'd both found semblance and peace in their lives without each other, and it hadn't been easy. Now, spending all this time together was a sure shot way of spiraling. Because, no matter how beautiful or comforting their friendship was, the simple truth was that Riddhima would leave after the wedding, with her husband. And then, how would the two of them cope without the other?
Shaking himself out of those thoughts, he tried to concentrate on good things, happy things. Like, Muskaan. And the time they'd been spending together. It had been such a delight. They had so much fun together - arguing, pulling each other's leg, laughing, and frolicking. For a minute it felt like the last 8 years hadn't happened, and they were just hanging out together. It was a balm to his aching heart.
Riddhima served dinner to the quartet, and as Armaan expected, Jaanhavi loved the food. She ended up eating more than he thought she would, and that was absolutely great.
"I'm gonna go get some sleep," Jaanhavi announced once she was done eating. The others nodded sympathetically.
"Do you want me to...?" Armaan trailed off, silently asking if she wanted him there. He didn't want to impose if she wanted time to herself. He knew he could get smothering at times, and Jaan wasn't fond of it when he hovered. He'd already spent the entire day with her and he wasn't sure if she could deal with more of his overbearing nature.
"I'll be okay. Don't worry about me," Jaanhavi replied, smiling back at him. He worried so much. He needed a break too.
"Okay," Armaan agreed. "But if..."
"I need anything, I'll let you know, yes, I know," Jaanhavi finished for him. "I'm not new around here, you know."
Armaan chuckled. "Gotcha." He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. Rahul did the same. Tamanna & Riddhima hugged her too, and then she went back to bed.
And then, Tamanna and Rahul left too, but not before Rahul had hugged Armaan and assured him, once again, that it would all be fine. Once, he was alone with Riddhima, Armaan turned to her.
"Come," he said, "let's get some food in you."
Riddhima looked at him, absolutely shocked. How did he know she hadn't been able to eat after everything?
"Don't look so surprised, Riddhima. Itna toh tumhe jaanta hu main," he said. She passed him a small smile, which he returned with one of his own.
"Come, sit," he gestured to the dining table. Riddhima shook her head. "Armaan, it's late. I'll just go sleep and eat tomorrow."
"No way. You're eating. Sit. I'll heat some food up," he instructed.
Knowing he wouldn't budge, Riddhima took a seat, in the same chair that he'd been sitting on just a few minutes ago. It was so silly, but it made her feel closer to him. She watched as Armaan puttered around in the kitchen, cooking something, as opposed to reheating like he'd told her he would be doing. A few minutes later, he'd come out with a plate of poha.
Nothing could have stopped the huge smile that graced Riddhima's face. He remembered. She'd told him, once, so very many years ago, that poha had been a late night indulgence for her. Whenever she'd stay up late at night to study, and got inevitably hungry, she'd always cook herself poha. And he remembered. It warmed her heart so much that he remembered these little details, that even people around her forgot, or didn't pay attention to.
"Here you go," he said, placing the plate in front of her with a smile. He sat down next to her and encouraged her to eat. She ate a morsel or two, playing with her food instead of eating it.
"Is something troubling you?" Armaan asked, genuinely concerned.
Riddhima nodded mutely. Something was troubling her alright.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He probed.
Riddhima sighed. "Armaan... Woh... Billy Uncle..." she hesitated, not knowing what to say.
An understanding smile lit up Armaan's face. Of course that's what she was thinking about. Riddhima had always been a sensitive & empathetic person. She could never bear to see anyone in pain. A small part of him scoffed at that, remembering all the times he'd been in pain, because of her, but he quashed it. That wasn't important right now.
"Riddhima," he stated, "don't worry about it, okay? I know finding out about all this must have been a shock, but it's fine. Jaan & I... We'll be okay. I promise."
Riddhima passed him a small smile. "I know. You're the strongest person I know. But... That's not... That's not what I wanted to talk about."
"What did you want to talk about then?" Armaan asked, confused.
"Armaan... I... I..." she trailed off, hesitating. She wanted to tell him that she'd called Billy, but it was such a big thing, a huge unknown. She didn't know how it would affect their already complicated relationship. Would Armaan forgive her? Would he blame her for everything? What if he decided he never wanted to speak to her again? She didn't want that. But, she also didn't want to lie to him, or hide the truth.
"You what, Riddhima?" He pried.
"I... I was the one who called Billy," she finally told him. She had decided she'd tell him, and she also knew she couldn't back off now. He needed to know. He had the right to know. And, Armaan had changed a lot from the impulsive boy he'd once been. He wouldn't just react without understanding the situation.
But still, she immediately closed her eyes after saying the words, not wanting to witness the impact of them.
"What?!" Armaan asked, shocked.
"Yeah... I... I called Billy Uncle here," she confessed.
Before Armaan could get a word in, she continued, "I... I'm really sorry, Armaan!! I so am. It's just... These past few years, Billy Uncle has been really worried about you. He used to... He used to call me almost every week, hoping to find out about you. He even... He... He spoke to a lot of your college friends and... And... And Nikki & some other people, all in hopes of finding you. He really was worried. And then... The other day... I just... You were missing Rahul's mom and I wanted to do something... Something nice for you, something... I wanted to make you smile. So, I... Um... I... I thought that..." She trailed.
"So you thought you'd bring him here," Armaan finished, with a soft smile.
"Yes," Riddhima whispered meekly. "But I just... I never thought that... Well... You know... I didn't know things were so bad. If I had known... I never... I would've never called him here, I promise."
Armaan nodded in understanding. "It's okay, Riddhima. I know... Um... If you would've known the entire story, you wouldn't have done this. I know. It's okay. Don't... don't think about it anymore, okay? It's fine. You only had the best intentions behind this. Ab... Ab tumhe sab pata nahi tha... that's... That's not your fault! For so many years, I also didn't know. But... Now... Now, I do. I know so much better. So, yeah. It's all good. Don't beat yourself up over this."
"I really am sorry, Armaan," Riddhima replied.
"I know you are, but you don't have to be. It's all good. Really. I don't blame you for anything," Armaan assured her.
She gave a meek smile in response, that came off more as a grimace. "Chalo, yaar. Ab toh kha lo! See, you told me everything. And I'm not even mad at you," Armaan joked.
Riddhima laughed at that and nodded. And so she ate, this delicious meal that Armaan had cooked, specially for her, only her, while he sat beside her and talked about anything and everything to keep her entertained while she ate.
When she was done, Armaan escorted her to her room, but before leaving, said, "Riddhima... Yeh... um... The Billy thing. Mujhe bataya... That's great. But... Um... Please don't mention it in front of Jaan."
"Of course," Riddhima replied immediately. "I won't."
Armaan smiled thankfully. "Awesome! Thanks. Good night."
"Good night," Riddhima answered, walking inside.
It had been a huge roller coaster, this day, but... At least Armaan wasn't mad at her. And that was enough. For now.
xxx
Um, so yeah! For all of you thinking Armaan would have gotten mad, NO WAY! He knows it wasn't her fault. Mature Armaan, remember?
I know there are holes in the story that Rahul told everyone, but I did that on purpose because I wanted Armaan to talk about it, too. So, we shall revisit this topic later, mostly when Armaan talks to Riddhima about all this. But, basically what you need to know is that after Jaanhavi's mom, who was basically also Armaan's mother, died, Billy and Jaanhavi's dad treated Jaanhavi very badly. Armaan didn't know at the time and only found out a few years ago, which is why he is so very mad at Billy now, but wasn't back then when Billy had come to Mumbai to talk about the AR wedding. Armaan didn't know what had happened then, so his issues with Billy were strictly because of Billy's fights with Ananya.
Also, IM SORRY! I forgot to reply to comments! Woh toh maine abhi update karne thread khola toh dekha ki reply hi nahi kiya hai. Oops! Will be replying to them now. :)
And, yes, hope y'all liked this one! :D
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