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It's in moments like these I just don't know what to say. Time flies I can't believe that our show is already one year old. EDKV is one of the best thing that has ever happened to me. No kidding. Thank you so much for everything, I love you all <3
Chapter 3: Confessions
It was the best sleep she had had in months and it had nothing to do with the cosy comforter or the fluffy pillows but a lot more with her inner state of mind and his scent which seemed to absorb every corner of the room, lingering on the pillows and the bed sheets.
As she tentatively opened her eyes, yawning lightly she was spellbound by the sight she met. Curled up next to her was her best friend cum husband.
She remembers dreaming of this more than once, Shravan next to her holding her tightly against him, whispering sweet nothings into her ears, making her flush, tickling her till she couldn't breathe. But then dreams were like those expensive toys you see behind the showcase and as many times you pass in front of it the craving increases and so does the void in your heart.
Shravan was that dream to her, she had been longing for him for a decade now, he was no less than a mirage in the desert and as much as she tries to reach to him, she wasn't able to catch him. But then they had been playing hide and seek since their childhood and no matter how far he went to hide, at the end of the day she always found him.
He looked so innocent sleeping like that, her eyes traced the contours of his face, taking him in, his hair were a beautiful mess, falling on his forehead and the sun piping behind him gave them a reddish tint that she instantly picked a liking for, she never noticed how long and thick his eyelashes were and the way they seemed to caress the skin of his cheek, his lips were slightly parted and she had to fight the urge to let her fingers trace his face or tame his hair, afraid of waking him up. He looked at peace, there was no anger or resentment in his features and she wondered if people generally looked this beautiful while sleeping. She could look at him sleeping day long and she still wouldn't be bored, it gave her a strange sense of calmness and filled her heart with warmth and hope.
The same warmth and hope she had felt before her impromptu marriage with Shravan. She smiled as she remembered their conversation from the night before and how easily he had implied that she was his. Suddenly, she didn't felt like leaving or running away from this room or from him. She didn't feel uncomfortable anymore, it was like she belonged here, with him. She wanted to etch her presence into his room and possibly into his heart, permanently.
Her train of thoughts broke as the alarm she had hit snooze ten minutes ago, rang again. She decided to get up at last with a sigh as she started to move out from the bed but was unable to as her right hand was enlaced with the hand of a certain someone. She tried to wiggle her hand from his vice like grip but it proved to be a herculean task. She was about to yank it away roughly when a fleeting image came back to her mind. She had done this many times as a turbulent teenager. Impulsive reactions which led to disastrous consequences.
She was not that person anymore and she wouldn't commit the same mistakes. She had a fair share of those. She was going to nurture this relationship with care and patience so with this reminder in mind she tried again, this time softly careful not to disturb his sleep.
He felt something pulling at his hand so like any other functional human being, he pushed back at the thing and when he felt her soft body collide with his, his eyes flew open and he was up in a matter of seconds. He was quite the sight to behold, his eyes still droopy with sleep but his body tensed as he looked anxiously around his surroundings, his grip on her hand growing stronger, if it was possible.
"Tum phirse jaa rahi thi na ?" He looked at her accusingly, his voice heavy, something she wanted to put on his freshly waken up state but deep down she knew that it was just the heaviness of his heart resurfacing.
"Loo ja rahi thi chalna hai saath main ?" She tried to enlighten the mood. She hated to see him like this, all defeated, his shoulders plumped down, perhaps it was the best friend side which resurfaced, she couldn't see Shravan defeated in front of anyone even if it was her.
"To jao kisne roka hai tumhe ?" He asked with a shrug.
She looked back at him in disbelief and signalled towards their entangled hands with her eyes. He looked like he was on fire as he pulled his hand out and looked anywhere but her. She wanted to ruffle his hair and pull his cheeks seeing his antics, he was still a kid at heart, her chashmish.
She strode towards the door of the bathroom and turned back to look at him, scratching the back of his head, his brows furrowed in confusion.
"Shravan, itni jaldi tumhara picha nahi jodon gi." A smile grew on her face as he looked down, his cheeks colouring. Shravan Malhotra was flustered and she liked the fact that she was behind it.
10 days had passed into their marriage and Shravan Malhotra had come to a conclusion. His wife was a beautiful woman.
"Bohot khush naseeb ho tum jo itni khubsoorat dulhan mili."
He had failed to understand Nanaji's words that day. Sure she had grown up into a beautiful woman, but she had an even more beautiful soul. When he was away from her, it was easy for him to draw her portrait, to categorize her the way he wanted, to paint her in any colour.
For him, she was the selfish Sumo, who merely cared about her image, for whom reputation was the top priority, for whom he was a puppet. A puppet she had made dance on her tunes, till the time she got tired of him and found a new toy to her collection.
Every assumption of his, every opinion of his had been blatantly wronged by her. By her constant care, attention and her kindness. She seemed to own the place with the ease she moved around the house and it kinds of make him warm in the inside. She knew everyone's needs by heart and was the new favourite of the house. Everyone seemed to have fallen in love with her.
She was juggling her time between PCT and the family and he could see that it was taking a toll on her, but she didn't complain, not even once. She always had this smile on her face and he found himself wanting to trace the little cleft in her chin
Every morning, he would hit snooze on her alarm so she could get five additional minutes of sleep and get to admire her, as he did he realised how much she had changed, not just physically but inside.
She was far more composed and thoughtful and was actually trying to make this marriage work. When he had early meetings, she would wake him up and keep all his essentials ready. At night, if he would get late due to the work load, she would wait for him and eat with him. These couple of days, he noticed the way she looked at him sometimes when she thought he didn't know-it was a look filled with admiration and something else he couldn't quite place.
He had tried time and again to deny it, but as his eyes fell on her, laughing, her head slightly thrown back, her eyes twinkling, Shravan Malhotra realised that he was falling in love with her. All over again.
From there, he stepped up his self-preservation plan. He did what he always did when he felt, his walls crumbling down. He runs away. He hides himself in order to protect his heart from taking the bait again. He didn't want to fall in love with her again.
She had the power to make him vulnerable, in front of her was gone the tall and mighty Shravan. He was a mere shadow. A shadow, which had the spent the last ten years imprisoned in a cage. She had always been the exception to his rule book. He always went the extra mile for her, he was ready to put his heart in a danger zone. Even though, he knows that this time, if it breaks, it wouldn't leave anything of him. He would be gone.
He knew he was hurting her, with his constant ignorance, she didn't say anything but he could it in her eyes, the disappointment, when he refused to eat the food she had made, pretexting to be on diet. He was always on his toes when around her, he would leave early in the morning before she would wake up and come late at night much after she withdraw to sleep. Once, she fell asleep on the dining table, waiting for him.
He felt so bad that he himself lifted her in his arms and tucked her into the duvet, her scent lingering on his shirt, as if he needed another reason to remember her.
They had not spoken for three days, yet they tried to maintain a civil in front of their family members. It was a happy day for the Malhotras, Shravan had won his first independent case, he had worked really hard on it and his hard work paid off. It earned him a few pat in the back from his father, Puskhar's sunshine smile, Kamini Chachi's buttering and the look in her eyes. She was proud of him, after all she was the one who had pushed him, to no end.
They had a party in the evening, in his honour. After much hesitance and lots of coaxing from Pushkar he had asked her to get ready at seven. He was in front of the mirror trying to fix this stupid tie when she came out.
She looked ravishing in that blue gown-his favourite on her, her make up minimal, but the glow on her face everlasting, her hair were straight and falling on one side of her shoulder. He kept staring at her, tie in hands, as she slowly strode towards him. She was a vision to him.
"May I ?" She asked referring to the tie with an arched brow.
But he wasn't listening, he was too lost in her. She had to shake him up from his reverie.
"Oh, ya." He answered looking anywhere but her.
She put her arms around his shoulders, as she raised herself on her toes, to reach his neck. Her fingertips were cold against his warm skin, his eyes closed at the contact. He could feel her breathing against the side of his neck, as she continued with her ministrations.
As she processed to arrange the collar of his shirt, she stumbled forward but he was quick to recover and secured his hands around her waist. His hands covering almost all her back and the heat emanating from it made her tingle.
He was about to say something when a knock on their door interrupted him.
"Bhaiya, chale late ho rahe hai." Yelled Pushkar.
"Aate hain." Both of them said straightening themselves.
"Thanks for the tie." He said.
"You're welcome." She thought he would say something about the way she looked or tease her because she was wearing his favourite colour, things normal couples did, but then they were anything but normal.
The ride was silent, but they couldn't help but steal glances at the other and then back to the road. He had trimmed his bear, she never told him, but she liked it that way, it accentuated his already sharp features.
Her husband was attractive. That was something she had established a long time ago. But being confronted to the kind of attention he got, was something quite problematic. He looked used to it, but she was new to the territory and she didn't like what she saw. Bunches of shameless girls ogling at him as if he was edible.
She didn't blame them, he was everything a woman wanted. Her man, who was surrounded by models, bimbos and exotic beauties from the world, was stuck with her, the unfashionable one, the ugly Sumo.
Perhaps, that's why he had been that distant over the course of the week. He had found someone else, or he just couldn't bear to look at her or both. During the whole party, he had ignored her existence as if she meant nothing to him. It hurt her. A lot. She took so much time to get ready so he could notice her but he didn't care he was too busy conversing with a girl, who was clearly by the looks of it a pretty girl' compared to her.
Angry tears started to well up, as she went to the bar to quench her thirst. She was so upset by what she saw, that she took the first drink on the table and gulped it down. Bitter. Like her mood. She had three glasses of the brewage and was going for the fourth one when Pushkar arrived.
"Sumo, what are you doing here ? Bhaiya ke saath kyon nahi hai tu ?" He asked, shaking her lightly.
Naam mat le mere samne uss Lambu ka . She said giggling.
Something was definitely wrong. That's when he saw the empty glass, next to her and understood.
"Sumo, are you drunk ?" He asked.
"Tu pagal hogaya kya ? Tunne pee hogi, main nahi peeti, I am a good girl." She said her arms crossed in defense.
He had to find Shravan Bhaiya and fast. He asked Preeti to take care of Sumo, while he searched for his brother. Luckily it was easy to spot him, for obvious reasons.
"What are you doing here ?" He asked, angry.
"Matlab, party enjoy kar raha hoon." He answered nonchantly.
"Sumo, kahan hai ?" He asked.
His eyes widened at the question. If she wasn't with Pushkar, where was she. He looked at him, dumbfounded.
"Aapko itna bhi nahi pata ke aapki biwi kahan hai. Seriously, bhaiya aapse ye expected nahi tha, puri sham uss ne akele guzaari hai. Hadd karte ho aap bhi."
"Kahan hai wo ?" He was already walking towards the exit door.
"She is drunk. Ghalti se pee li. Don't worry, Preeti hai sath main."
The girl would be the death of him. When they reached the bar, they only found a worried sick Preeti. Sumo had run away. He was sure his heart had stop beating for a moment, all alone in the night, where could she go? He ran like a mad man into the parking, calling her on her cell phone, repeatedly. It's when he saw her leaning against his car, that he could breathe a sigh of relief. She had scared him.
He looked like he had run a marathon. Hair dishevelled, tie undone, he was breathing heavily, as if he was trying to calm himself and he looked angry, really angry.
Before he even knew, what he was doing, he cornered her against the car.
"What do you think of yourself ? Paglon ki tarah dhundh raha hoon tumhe. Tumhe zara bhi ehsaas nahi hai na." He roared. She flinched before pushing him back.
"Jaise tumhe bhaari parwa hai meri. Jao, uss ladki ke paas jao.. uss bimbo ke paas. I'll find my way, I don't need you."
She never needed him anyways, a harsh reminder of his position in her life.
"Shut up and sit in the car, now." He opened the door of the car, waiting for her to sit.
"Make me." She challenged, her eyes shooting daggers.
He inched dangerously close to her, she stepped back at their proximity.
"As I said, Mrs Malhotra don't underestimate me, I can do whatever I wish to and nobody can do anything about it. So sit in the car, now." His tone was laced with measured anger.
She stomped on his foot, earning a glare from him, before making herself comfortable in the car. The ride was not quiet at all, Sumo was shuffling with the radio and singing to every song. To kaho na pyaar hai' till kabhi khushi kabhi gham', his wife had revisited all the classics.
At last they reached home. But Suman was adamant and wasn't getting out of the car. Exasperated, Shravan threw her over his shoulder and carried her, she punched, kicked and cursed him but to no avail.
They finally reached their room, with some cursing from Shravan's side. He gently put her down, she was still reeling from the effect of alcohol.
"Now you are going to change and then sleep." He held her by her shoulders and talked softly to make her understand. "Okay ?"
"Okay." She said with a dazed look on her face and started to open the hook of her dress in front of him. Shravan panicked.
"Kya kar rahi ho ?" He said while turning her around and covering her with his jacket.
"Change kar rahi hoon aur kya." She said with a pout.
"Bathroom main change kar ke aao, please."
"Okay." She went lazily towards the bathroom.
This was a mess, he never thought, his ignorance would make her do such a thing. Angry Sumo, crying Sumo he could handle, but a drunk Sumo ?
He had noticed her during the whole party, she was looking at him, let's say staring at him. She was looking beautiful, he wanted to go close to her and ask her for a dance. He would have if they had married out of love, he would have if they were under different circumstances.
At one point, he saw tears in her eyes. His resolve almost broke. Sumo never really decked up. She always wore those simple kurtis of her. She had make an effort for him and he hadn't even appreciated it.
She sprinted out and started jumping on the bed like a kid and singing. With all the ruckus, she was creating, the whole house was going to wake up, he was about to give her an earful when he realised that she was wearing his white shirt over her pyjamas and swimming into it, literally.
The colour contrasting with her dusky complexion, the material enveloping her little frame. She looked etereal to him. It was one of his fantasies, to see Suman wearing his clothes, there was something very intimate about the gesture, as if she was marking her territory. He was always fascinated by her, he claimed to know her, but just a glimpse of her tattoo and he found himself willing to know more about her, curiosity nudging him.
"Suman, lag jayegi neeche utro." He said stretching his hand towards her.
"Main nahi aarahi." She said shaking her head side to side.
"Kyon?" He asked annoyed.
"Pehle mujhe Sumo bolo." She insisted like a kid.
"What ? he asked, bewildered by her demand she was the one who insisted to be called by her full name, who had forbidden him to call her that, as she was dead to him.
"Bolooo na." She looked like a kid in his big t-shirt which exposed her right shoulder.
"Get down, now." He ordered.
"No, no, no. Pehle mujhe sumo bolo." He looked fondly at her, it reminded him of the day he had fixed the clutch of her car, how adamant she was back then too.
"Sumo."
"Okay, Sumo." He said standing in front of the bed.
"Pyaari Sumo." She put her arms around his neck, because of standing on the bed she stood taller than him.
"Pyaari Sumo." His own hands locked around her waist.
"Ab bolo, meri pyaaari Sumo." She ordered with a child like expression.
He chuckled at that. Self-obsessed ladki. He decided to play along.
"Meri pyaari Sumo." He swapped up off her feet, before gently putting her down, eliciting an innocent giggle from her, he wanted to hear this sound for the rest of his life.
"Chalo sojao ab." He said arranging the t-shirt.
"Nahi mujhe kuch kehna hai." Before he knew what was happening he was pushed back on the couch and what she did next, blew his mind.
"Sum-"She rested her forehead against his, her nose softly colliding with his, shutting him up almost instantly, her fingers drawing lazy circles around his nape.
"Shh." They never had been that close to each other, she could feel his steady breath against her cheek and the hammering of his heart underneath her hand which now rested on his chest.
For Shravan, it was not any different, the action was full of innocence yet erupted many feelings in him, feelings he had buried till now. She was just leaning on him but her proximity left him wanting for more. She moved back a bit with a knowing smile on her face, his eyes were still closed as her fingers worked havoc in his hair. Her fingers started a journey of their own, first she threaded her fingers through the soft strands of his hair, eliciting a sigh from both of them.
"Your hair are sooo soft." She looked dreamily at him.
"I was dying to do this." She admitted as her fingers found purchase in the back of his head.
Her confession, caused his eyes to shot open. He was not the only one thinking about her all this while, she did too.
Her fingers ghost over the skin of his cheek, before tracing a finger down the prominent vein of his strong neck. He gulped at the action, this was too much, for his own good. He tried to regulate his breathing but it didn't help. He craved for her, for this kind of warmth, for a decade now. His own hands started to draw mindless patterns over the material of the t-shirt.
She was back to his face, this time she traced the lines of his forehead, as if she could read between them.
"Tumhe pata hai tum kitne pyaare ho, kitne komaal ho." She said a dazed look on her face and stressed on every word.
He wasn't going to pay attention to what she was saying, alcohol made people say and do things, they wouldn't even dare of thinking when sober.
"Bas ek choti si problem hai." She said showing him how little was the problem with the help of her small fingers.
"Tumhari naak aaj extra lambi lag rahi thi." She said laughing out loud and flicking his nose with her finger.
"Excuse me?" He asked shocked in equal measure by her words and gesture.
"You are excused."She tried to supress her laughter but failed miserably.
He smiled. After a long time. Not a full blown smile, but a small one, only a tug at the corner of his lips.
"If I ask you for something, will you give it to me?"
She asked, sounding hopeful. He knew he should have refused but didn't have the heart to swipe the smile off her face. He had done it too many times. So he nodded wordlessly.
"Mujhe mera Shravan wapas dedo."Her eyes turned softer as she spoke the words, her voice above than a whisper.
He couldn't give her what she wanted. She was asking him to bring himself from the abyss of darkness he had been drown in, against his wish. It was familiar to him, it was home to him.
It was easier than being confronted to the harsh reality of his life. He was alone and a failure. He may be the most successful lawyer of his generation, but from the inside he was hollow, empty .
"Please." She said looking straight in the eyes. The lump in his throat was back and he felt his heart clench in his chest, his mask almost slipping.
His mask is what kept him alive all these years. No one could see through him, no one could see the cracks in his armor, but her.
"Mujhe ye ghusse wala Shravan nahi pasand mujhe darr lagta hai usse. Wo bohot naraz rehta hai mujhse, baat tak nahi karta." He could hear the tears in her voice.
"Usne kaha that ke wo hamesha mera saath rahega. Sumo main hoon na, main rahon ga tumhare sath. Lies, all lies." She was tugging on the lapel of his shirt, a look of anguish on her face.
"Sab jhoot tha. He forgot me. Usse apne wade yaad nahin the. Nahi main." She had tears in her eyes, which were threatening to spill out.
His heart constricted in his chest and it felt like someone had punched him into the stomach. She thought that he had forgotten her, he had tried again and again. But does someone even forget themselves? Even in a myriad of people, his eyes would find her, so forgetting her ? Erasing his existence seemed easier.
"Pehla wala Shravan akdu tha lekin smile bhi karta tha." She tugged the corners of his lips, eliciting a small painful smile from him.
"Kho gayi." He simply said.
"Meri waja se na?" She asked. He didn't say anything. They just looked into their eyes for the longest time.
Someone had said it right. Eyes are the window to the soul. Shravan's eyes always did the talking for him. His eyes could never lie. It was so easy to read him, they always conveyed her everything she needed to know. Love, pain, anguish cristal clear in front of her.
"Tumhe bohot takleef huwi na, jab aditya ne mujhse shaadi ka announcement diya."
Takleef ? He let a sad laugh at that. That was a very small word for what he had felt in that moment it felt like someone was twisting his heart from him, before drowning him. Just the rush of those memories and all that had followed after was enough for his eyes to water. He had been so close to lose her. All because of his ego and and impulsiveness.
"Nahi toh." He couldn't lie to her, not straight in the eye. So he looked away, his voice almost chocking.
"Jhoot. Phir jhoot." She took his face in her hands to make him look at her.
"Tum kitni bhi koshish karlo mujhse chup ne ki aapne iss ghusse ke picche, iss narazgi ke picche, tumhari aakhen sab bataa deti hai mujhe." She smiled through tears, ruffling his hair.
"Why did you let me go? Why didn't you stop me ? Ek baar kaha hota." She punched him, taking fists of his shirt in her hand.
"Kis haq se rokta? Wo haq mene khud kho diya tha." He said clenching his fist, his jaw tense.
"Shravan, look at me. You could never lose me." She said cupping his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her before planting a kiss on his forehead, her promise to him.
They were quite the sight to behold, puffy eyes, breaths mingling,his arms wrapped around her waist as her hands rested on his chest. They were a mess. A beautiful mess.
"Hum itne door kyon hogaye?" She was crying, now. He intended to wipe her tears with his thumb instead ended up smearing them on her cheek. They both could feel it the hum of electricity at his touch.
He had no answers to her queries. He just wanted to bury himself in her arms and never face the world again. They were both broken beyond measure and yet their hearts content, they had found home in each other.
She completely leaned into his embrace, her face buried in the crook of his neck. His arms tightened around her waist as he placed his cheek on top of her head.
"I miss you." She confessed, baring her heart in front of him. For the first time she was being vocal about her feelings, she missed him, she missed them, the relationship they shared. Deep inside he knew that he did too, he missed her terribly.
So he also confessed, he gave her a part of him that night. The words disappeared in the hollows of the night.
"I miss you too."
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Thoughts ? Little skeptical about this one as it's quite long but you guys tell what do you think about it.
Chapter 4: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ek-duje-ke-vaaste/4800419/shraman-ff-holding-you-c18-pg-102?pn=16
Chapter 3: Confessions
It was the best sleep she had had in months and it had nothing to do with the cosy comforter or the fluffy pillows but a lot more with her inner state of mind and his scent which seemed to absorb every corner of the room, lingering on the pillows and the bed sheets.
As she tentatively opened her eyes, yawning lightly she was spellbound by the sight she met. Curled up next to her was her best friend cum husband.
She remembers dreaming of this more than once, Shravan next to her holding her tightly against him, whispering sweet nothings into her ears, making her flush, tickling her till she couldn't breathe. But then dreams were like those expensive toys you see behind the showcase and as many times you pass in front of it the craving increases and so does the void in your heart.
Shravan was that dream to her, she had been longing for him for a decade now, he was no less than a mirage in the desert and as much as she tries to reach to him, she wasn't able to catch him. But then they had been playing hide and seek since their childhood and no matter how far he went to hide, at the end of the day she always found him.
He looked so innocent sleeping like that, her eyes traced the contours of his face, taking him in, his hair were a beautiful mess, falling on his forehead and the sun piping behind him gave them a reddish tint that she instantly picked a liking for, she never noticed how long and thick his eyelashes were and the way they seemed to caress the skin of his cheek, his lips were slightly parted and she had to fight the urge to let her fingers trace his face or tame his hair, afraid of waking him up. He looked at peace, there was no anger or resentment in his features and she wondered if people generally looked this beautiful while sleeping. She could look at him sleeping day long and she still wouldn't be bored, it gave her a strange sense of calmness and filled her heart with warmth and hope.
The same warmth and hope she had felt before her impromptu marriage with Shravan. She smiled as she remembered their conversation from the night before and how easily he had implied that she was his. Suddenly, she didn't felt like leaving or running away from this room or from him. She didn't feel uncomfortable anymore, it was like she belonged here, with him. She wanted to etch her presence into his room and possibly into his heart, permanently.
Her train of thoughts broke as the alarm she had hit snooze ten minutes ago, rang again. She decided to get up at last with a sigh as she started to move out from the bed but was unable to as her right hand was enlaced with the hand of a certain someone. She tried to wiggle her hand from his vice like grip but it proved to be a herculean task. She was about to yank it away roughly when a fleeting image came back to her mind. She had done this many times as a turbulent teenager. Impulsive reactions which led to disastrous consequences.
She was not that person anymore and she wouldn't commit the same mistakes. She had a fair share of those. She was going to nurture this relationship with care and patience so with this reminder in mind she tried again, this time softly careful not to disturb his sleep.
He felt something pulling at his hand so like any other functional human being, he pushed back at the thing and when he felt her soft body collide with his, his eyes flew open and he was up in a matter of seconds. He was quite the sight to behold, his eyes still droopy with sleep but his body tensed as he looked anxiously around his surroundings, his grip on her hand growing stronger, if it was possible.
"Tum phirse jaa rahi thi na ?" He looked at her accusingly, his voice heavy, something she wanted to put on his freshly waken up state but deep down she knew that it was just the heaviness of his heart resurfacing.
"Loo ja rahi thi chalna hai saath main ?" She tried to enlighten the mood. She hated to see him like this, all defeated, his shoulders plumped down, perhaps it was the best friend side which resurfaced, she couldn't see Shravan defeated in front of anyone even if it was her.
"To jao kisne roka hai tumhe ?" He asked with a shrug.
She looked back at him in disbelief and signalled towards their entangled hands with her eyes. He looked like he was on fire as he pulled his hand out and looked anywhere but her. She wanted to ruffle his hair and pull his cheeks seeing his antics, he was still a kid at heart, her chashmish.
She strode towards the door of the bathroom and turned back to look at him, scratching the back of his head, his brows furrowed in confusion.
"Shravan, itni jaldi tumhara picha nahi jodon gi." A smile grew on her face as he looked down, his cheeks colouring. Shravan Malhotra was flustered and she liked the fact that she was behind it.
10 days had passed into their marriage and Shravan Malhotra had come to a conclusion. His wife was a beautiful woman.
"Bohot khush naseeb ho tum jo itni khubsoorat dulhan mili."
He had failed to understand Nanaji's words that day. Sure she had grown up into a beautiful woman, but she had an even more beautiful soul. When he was away from her, it was easy for him to draw her portrait, to categorize her the way he wanted, to paint her in any colour.
For him, she was the selfish Sumo, who merely cared about her image, for whom reputation was the top priority, for whom he was a puppet. A puppet she had made dance on her tunes, till the time she got tired of him and found a new toy to her collection.
Every assumption of his, every opinion of his had been blatantly wronged by her. By her constant care, attention and her kindness. She seemed to own the place with the ease she moved around the house and it kinds of make him warm in the inside. She knew everyone's needs by heart and was the new favourite of the house. Everyone seemed to have fallen in love with her.
She was juggling her time between PCT and the family and he could see that it was taking a toll on her, but she didn't complain, not even once. She always had this smile on her face and he found himself wanting to trace the little cleft in her chin
Every morning, he would hit snooze on her alarm so she could get five additional minutes of sleep and get to admire her, as he did he realised how much she had changed, not just physically but inside.
She was far more composed and thoughtful and was actually trying to make this marriage work. When he had early meetings, she would wake him up and keep all his essentials ready. At night, if he would get late due to the work load, she would wait for him and eat with him. These couple of days, he noticed the way she looked at him sometimes when she thought he didn't know-it was a look filled with admiration and something else he couldn't quite place.
He had tried time and again to deny it, but as his eyes fell on her, laughing, her head slightly thrown back, her eyes twinkling, Shravan Malhotra realised that he was falling in love with her. All over again.
From there, he stepped up his self-preservation plan. He did what he always did when he felt, his walls crumbling down. He runs away. He hides himself in order to protect his heart from taking the bait again. He didn't want to fall in love with her again.
She had the power to make him vulnerable, in front of her was gone the tall and mighty Shravan. He was a mere shadow. A shadow, which had the spent the last ten years imprisoned in a cage. She had always been the exception to his rule book. He always went the extra mile for her, he was ready to put his heart in a danger zone. Even though, he knows that this time, if it breaks, it wouldn't leave anything of him. He would be gone.
He knew he was hurting her, with his constant ignorance, she didn't say anything but he could it in her eyes, the disappointment, when he refused to eat the food she had made, pretexting to be on diet. He was always on his toes when around her, he would leave early in the morning before she would wake up and come late at night much after she withdraw to sleep. Once, she fell asleep on the dining table, waiting for him.
He felt so bad that he himself lifted her in his arms and tucked her into the duvet, her scent lingering on his shirt, as if he needed another reason to remember her.
They had not spoken for three days, yet they tried to maintain a civil in front of their family members. It was a happy day for the Malhotras, Shravan had won his first independent case, he had worked really hard on it and his hard work paid off. It earned him a few pat in the back from his father, Puskhar's sunshine smile, Kamini Chachi's buttering and the look in her eyes. She was proud of him, after all she was the one who had pushed him, to no end.
They had a party in the evening, in his honour. After much hesitance and lots of coaxing from Pushkar he had asked her to get ready at seven. He was in front of the mirror trying to fix this stupid tie when she came out.
She looked ravishing in that blue gown-his favourite on her, her make up minimal, but the glow on her face everlasting, her hair were straight and falling on one side of her shoulder. He kept staring at her, tie in hands, as she slowly strode towards him. She was a vision to him.
"May I ?" She asked referring to the tie with an arched brow.
But he wasn't listening, he was too lost in her. She had to shake him up from his reverie.
"Oh, ya." He answered looking anywhere but her.
She put her arms around his shoulders, as she raised herself on her toes, to reach his neck. Her fingertips were cold against his warm skin, his eyes closed at the contact. He could feel her breathing against the side of his neck, as she continued with her ministrations.
As she processed to arrange the collar of his shirt, she stumbled forward but he was quick to recover and secured his hands around her waist. His hands covering almost all her back and the heat emanating from it made her tingle.
He was about to say something when a knock on their door interrupted him.
"Bhaiya, chale late ho rahe hai." Yelled Pushkar.
"Aate hain." Both of them said straightening themselves.
"Thanks for the tie." He said.
"You're welcome." She thought he would say something about the way she looked or tease her because she was wearing his favourite colour, things normal couples did, but then they were anything but normal.
The ride was silent, but they couldn't help but steal glances at the other and then back to the road. He had trimmed his bear, she never told him, but she liked it that way, it accentuated his already sharp features.
Her husband was attractive. That was something she had established a long time ago. But being confronted to the kind of attention he got, was something quite problematic. He looked used to it, but she was new to the territory and she didn't like what she saw. Bunches of shameless girls ogling at him as if he was edible.
She didn't blame them, he was everything a woman wanted. Her man, who was surrounded by models, bimbos and exotic beauties from the world, was stuck with her, the unfashionable one, the ugly Sumo.
Perhaps, that's why he had been that distant over the course of the week. He had found someone else, or he just couldn't bear to look at her or both. During the whole party, he had ignored her existence as if she meant nothing to him. It hurt her. A lot. She took so much time to get ready so he could notice her but he didn't care he was too busy conversing with a girl, who was clearly by the looks of it a pretty girl' compared to her.
Angry tears started to well up, as she went to the bar to quench her thirst. She was so upset by what she saw, that she took the first drink on the table and gulped it down. Bitter. Like her mood. She had three glasses of the brewage and was going for the fourth one when Pushkar arrived.
"Sumo, what are you doing here ? Bhaiya ke saath kyon nahi hai tu ?" He asked, shaking her lightly.
Naam mat le mere samne uss Lambu ka . She said giggling.
Something was definitely wrong. That's when he saw the empty glass, next to her and understood.
"Sumo, are you drunk ?" He asked.
"Tu pagal hogaya kya ? Tunne pee hogi, main nahi peeti, I am a good girl." She said her arms crossed in defense.
He had to find Shravan Bhaiya and fast. He asked Preeti to take care of Sumo, while he searched for his brother. Luckily it was easy to spot him, for obvious reasons.
"What are you doing here ?" He asked, angry.
"Matlab, party enjoy kar raha hoon." He answered nonchantly.
"Sumo, kahan hai ?" He asked.
His eyes widened at the question. If she wasn't with Pushkar, where was she. He looked at him, dumbfounded.
"Aapko itna bhi nahi pata ke aapki biwi kahan hai. Seriously, bhaiya aapse ye expected nahi tha, puri sham uss ne akele guzaari hai. Hadd karte ho aap bhi."
"Kahan hai wo ?" He was already walking towards the exit door.
"She is drunk. Ghalti se pee li. Don't worry, Preeti hai sath main."
The girl would be the death of him. When they reached the bar, they only found a worried sick Preeti. Sumo had run away. He was sure his heart had stop beating for a moment, all alone in the night, where could she go? He ran like a mad man into the parking, calling her on her cell phone, repeatedly. It's when he saw her leaning against his car, that he could breathe a sigh of relief. She had scared him.
He looked like he had run a marathon. Hair dishevelled, tie undone, he was breathing heavily, as if he was trying to calm himself and he looked angry, really angry.
Before he even knew, what he was doing, he cornered her against the car.
"What do you think of yourself ? Paglon ki tarah dhundh raha hoon tumhe. Tumhe zara bhi ehsaas nahi hai na." He roared. She flinched before pushing him back.
"Jaise tumhe bhaari parwa hai meri. Jao, uss ladki ke paas jao.. uss bimbo ke paas. I'll find my way, I don't need you."
She never needed him anyways, a harsh reminder of his position in her life.
"Shut up and sit in the car, now." He opened the door of the car, waiting for her to sit.
"Make me." She challenged, her eyes shooting daggers.
He inched dangerously close to her, she stepped back at their proximity.
"As I said, Mrs Malhotra don't underestimate me, I can do whatever I wish to and nobody can do anything about it. So sit in the car, now." His tone was laced with measured anger.
She stomped on his foot, earning a glare from him, before making herself comfortable in the car. The ride was not quiet at all, Sumo was shuffling with the radio and singing to every song. To kaho na pyaar hai' till kabhi khushi kabhi gham', his wife had revisited all the classics.
At last they reached home. But Suman was adamant and wasn't getting out of the car. Exasperated, Shravan threw her over his shoulder and carried her, she punched, kicked and cursed him but to no avail.
They finally reached their room, with some cursing from Shravan's side. He gently put her down, she was still reeling from the effect of alcohol.
"Now you are going to change and then sleep." He held her by her shoulders and talked softly to make her understand. "Okay ?"
"Okay." She said with a dazed look on her face and started to open the hook of her dress in front of him. Shravan panicked.
"Kya kar rahi ho ?" He said while turning her around and covering her with his jacket.
"Change kar rahi hoon aur kya." She said with a pout.
"Bathroom main change kar ke aao, please."
"Okay." She went lazily towards the bathroom.
This was a mess, he never thought, his ignorance would make her do such a thing. Angry Sumo, crying Sumo he could handle, but a drunk Sumo ?
He had noticed her during the whole party, she was looking at him, let's say staring at him. She was looking beautiful, he wanted to go close to her and ask her for a dance. He would have if they had married out of love, he would have if they were under different circumstances.
At one point, he saw tears in her eyes. His resolve almost broke. Sumo never really decked up. She always wore those simple kurtis of her. She had make an effort for him and he hadn't even appreciated it.
She sprinted out and started jumping on the bed like a kid and singing. With all the ruckus, she was creating, the whole house was going to wake up, he was about to give her an earful when he realised that she was wearing his white shirt over her pyjamas and swimming into it, literally.
The colour contrasting with her dusky complexion, the material enveloping her little frame. She looked etereal to him. It was one of his fantasies, to see Suman wearing his clothes, there was something very intimate about the gesture, as if she was marking her territory. He was always fascinated by her, he claimed to know her, but just a glimpse of her tattoo and he found himself willing to know more about her, curiosity nudging him.
"Suman, lag jayegi neeche utro." He said stretching his hand towards her.
"Main nahi aarahi." She said shaking her head side to side.
"Kyon?" He asked annoyed.
"Pehle mujhe Sumo bolo." She insisted like a kid.
"What ? he asked, bewildered by her demand she was the one who insisted to be called by her full name, who had forbidden him to call her that, as she was dead to him.
"Bolooo na." She looked like a kid in his big t-shirt which exposed her right shoulder.
"Get down, now." He ordered.
"No, no, no. Pehle mujhe sumo bolo." He looked fondly at her, it reminded him of the day he had fixed the clutch of her car, how adamant she was back then too.
"Sumo."
"Okay, Sumo." He said standing in front of the bed.
"Pyaari Sumo." She put her arms around his neck, because of standing on the bed she stood taller than him.
"Pyaari Sumo." His own hands locked around her waist.
"Ab bolo, meri pyaaari Sumo." She ordered with a child like expression.
He chuckled at that. Self-obsessed ladki. He decided to play along.
"Meri pyaari Sumo." He swapped up off her feet, before gently putting her down, eliciting an innocent giggle from her, he wanted to hear this sound for the rest of his life.
"Chalo sojao ab." He said arranging the t-shirt.
"Nahi mujhe kuch kehna hai." Before he knew what was happening he was pushed back on the couch and what she did next, blew his mind.
"Sum-"She rested her forehead against his, her nose softly colliding with his, shutting him up almost instantly, her fingers drawing lazy circles around his nape.
"Shh." They never had been that close to each other, she could feel his steady breath against her cheek and the hammering of his heart underneath her hand which now rested on his chest.
For Shravan, it was not any different, the action was full of innocence yet erupted many feelings in him, feelings he had buried till now. She was just leaning on him but her proximity left him wanting for more. She moved back a bit with a knowing smile on her face, his eyes were still closed as her fingers worked havoc in his hair. Her fingers started a journey of their own, first she threaded her fingers through the soft strands of his hair, eliciting a sigh from both of them.
"Your hair are sooo soft." She looked dreamily at him.
"I was dying to do this." She admitted as her fingers found purchase in the back of his head.
Her confession, caused his eyes to shot open. He was not the only one thinking about her all this while, she did too.
Her fingers ghost over the skin of his cheek, before tracing a finger down the prominent vein of his strong neck. He gulped at the action, this was too much, for his own good. He tried to regulate his breathing but it didn't help. He craved for her, for this kind of warmth, for a decade now. His own hands started to draw mindless patterns over the material of the t-shirt.
She was back to his face, this time she traced the lines of his forehead, as if she could read between them.
"Tumhe pata hai tum kitne pyaare ho, kitne komaal ho." She said a dazed look on her face and stressed on every word.
He wasn't going to pay attention to what she was saying, alcohol made people say and do things, they wouldn't even dare of thinking when sober.
"Bas ek choti si problem hai." She said showing him how little was the problem with the help of her small fingers.
"Tumhari naak aaj extra lambi lag rahi thi." She said laughing out loud and flicking his nose with her finger.
"Excuse me?" He asked shocked in equal measure by her words and gesture.
"You are excused."She tried to supress her laughter but failed miserably.
He smiled. After a long time. Not a full blown smile, but a small one, only a tug at the corner of his lips.
"If I ask you for something, will you give it to me?"
She asked, sounding hopeful. He knew he should have refused but didn't have the heart to swipe the smile off her face. He had done it too many times. So he nodded wordlessly.
"Mujhe mera Shravan wapas dedo."Her eyes turned softer as she spoke the words, her voice above than a whisper.
He couldn't give her what she wanted. She was asking him to bring himself from the abyss of darkness he had been drown in, against his wish. It was familiar to him, it was home to him.
It was easier than being confronted to the harsh reality of his life. He was alone and a failure. He may be the most successful lawyer of his generation, but from the inside he was hollow, empty .
"Please." She said looking straight in the eyes. The lump in his throat was back and he felt his heart clench in his chest, his mask almost slipping.
His mask is what kept him alive all these years. No one could see through him, no one could see the cracks in his armor, but her.
"Mujhe ye ghusse wala Shravan nahi pasand mujhe darr lagta hai usse. Wo bohot naraz rehta hai mujhse, baat tak nahi karta." He could hear the tears in her voice.
"Usne kaha that ke wo hamesha mera saath rahega. Sumo main hoon na, main rahon ga tumhare sath. Lies, all lies." She was tugging on the lapel of his shirt, a look of anguish on her face.
"Sab jhoot tha. He forgot me. Usse apne wade yaad nahin the. Nahi main." She had tears in her eyes, which were threatening to spill out.
His heart constricted in his chest and it felt like someone had punched him into the stomach. She thought that he had forgotten her, he had tried again and again. But does someone even forget themselves? Even in a myriad of people, his eyes would find her, so forgetting her ? Erasing his existence seemed easier.
"Pehla wala Shravan akdu tha lekin smile bhi karta tha." She tugged the corners of his lips, eliciting a small painful smile from him.
"Kho gayi." He simply said.
"Meri waja se na?" She asked. He didn't say anything. They just looked into their eyes for the longest time.
Someone had said it right. Eyes are the window to the soul. Shravan's eyes always did the talking for him. His eyes could never lie. It was so easy to read him, they always conveyed her everything she needed to know. Love, pain, anguish cristal clear in front of her.
"Tumhe bohot takleef huwi na, jab aditya ne mujhse shaadi ka announcement diya."
Takleef ? He let a sad laugh at that. That was a very small word for what he had felt in that moment it felt like someone was twisting his heart from him, before drowning him. Just the rush of those memories and all that had followed after was enough for his eyes to water. He had been so close to lose her. All because of his ego and and impulsiveness.
"Nahi toh." He couldn't lie to her, not straight in the eye. So he looked away, his voice almost chocking.
"Jhoot. Phir jhoot." She took his face in her hands to make him look at her.
"Tum kitni bhi koshish karlo mujhse chup ne ki aapne iss ghusse ke picche, iss narazgi ke picche, tumhari aakhen sab bataa deti hai mujhe." She smiled through tears, ruffling his hair.
"Why did you let me go? Why didn't you stop me ? Ek baar kaha hota." She punched him, taking fists of his shirt in her hand.
"Kis haq se rokta? Wo haq mene khud kho diya tha." He said clenching his fist, his jaw tense.
"Shravan, look at me. You could never lose me." She said cupping his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her before planting a kiss on his forehead, her promise to him.
They were quite the sight to behold, puffy eyes, breaths mingling,his arms wrapped around her waist as her hands rested on his chest. They were a mess. A beautiful mess.
"Hum itne door kyon hogaye?" She was crying, now. He intended to wipe her tears with his thumb instead ended up smearing them on her cheek. They both could feel it the hum of electricity at his touch.
He had no answers to her queries. He just wanted to bury himself in her arms and never face the world again. They were both broken beyond measure and yet their hearts content, they had found home in each other.
She completely leaned into his embrace, her face buried in the crook of his neck. His arms tightened around her waist as he placed his cheek on top of her head.
"I miss you." She confessed, baring her heart in front of him. For the first time she was being vocal about her feelings, she missed him, she missed them, the relationship they shared. Deep inside he knew that he did too, he missed her terribly.
So he also confessed, he gave her a part of him that night. The words disappeared in the hollows of the night.
"I miss you too."
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Thoughts ? Little skeptical about this one as it's quite long but you guys tell what do you think about it.
Chapter 4: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ek-duje-ke-vaaste/4800419/shraman-ff-holding-you-c18-pg-102?pn=16
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