Radhika Apte - don't believe in the institution of marriage - Page 4

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

Aiween mein

Only the third world countries still have arranged marriages , not any developed country

Originally posted by: 2RsFan

Only the third world countries still have arranged marriages , not any developed country

Tou? Something not happening in developed countries doesn't mean it's wrong or should be abolished..

Originally posted by: 2RsFan

Such kind of men do stay single forever in the west

Only if dating culture gets normalized

We don't have dating culture, even most love marriage are couples who met in same college or office, that's not dating culture.

Unless that happens arrange marriage is only solution.

It's a personal choice, so of course, she has the right to feel whatever she wishes to feel. It's her life and more power to her.

I believe in marriage. What I don't believe in is today's interpretation of marriage. Because of all the liberalism narrative, a man or a woman can easily weasel out of a marriage and relationship by saying that they're not up for it, they need change, they're undergoing existential crisis, etc.

Yes, such occurrences are facts but if you're not mature enough to manage your emotions and the predicament of your partner, I don't think one should get married. Flings help in such cases.

Problem with people these days is that they want all the perks, minus the responsibility.

Marriage was hell in a core patriarchal setup for some. Today, it's also hell in the liberal set up. A man or a woman could simply say that they're not satisfied and the marriage has lost charm to destroy the life of the other.

That's why hook-up culture should be a norm. Just do whatever you want, with no strings attached. That way, you're saving yourself, your children, and your partner from misery.

Originally posted by: Lulzbolly

It is because of such women that minds of young girls in India are getting distorted.

What is wrong with young women learning that marriage is not the be all and end all in life and they have plenty of other options? When people are aware of all options they will make an informed decision.

Love, loyalty, and commitment are natural human responses that grow organically. Throughout human life, people naturally form loving and loyal bonds with their family, relatives, and friends. Many even have a sense of commitment to coworkers beyond contractual employment obligations and help each other in need.

Marriage on the other hand is a completely unnatural and manmade institution. It is no more and no less than a legally binding contract that lists out a set of rights and duties for the two people who choose to engage in it. If you trace the history of marriage it was used to create alliances and business ties. People were constantly excluded on the basis of race, caste, social standing, ethnicity so as to preserve bloodlines and wealth within certain circles and prevent others from elevating themselves through marriage.

Beyond the legal aspect, there is the religious perspective of marriage. The religious perspective usually has people making their declarations of love, loyalty, and commitment with God as a witness. The belief is that covenants with God are of a higher level and have much deeper significance. The religious perspective too though is merely a supplement to the legal contract. When you bring God into the equation - it makes discrimination more palatable.

The notion that marriage is the natural and desirable outcome of truly deep love and commitment is something that is radically new and took root only in the last century. It took place because of people who dared to fall in love outside the rules set out by law and religion and fought to have the same rights.

Marriage will not guarantee you love, loyalty, and commitment. Cheating has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with people in relationships and the bond they share. A religious marriage may satisfy one's personal, emotional, and spiritual needs, but will not in itself improve or make a relationship special. Legal marriage will protect you and your children in case of tragedy (death, disability, and/or cheating.)

If two people are in a loving relationship and choose not to get married that is perfectly fine. Marriage is not necessary. But in most cases, it might be desirable to get a domestic partnership or marriage registered because of the legal protections it offers - especially if you plan to have children. If you are religious and you want to have a religious ceremony because it makes you happy - that is fine. If you are not religious but still find it beautifully sentimental to have a celebration of your relationship with friends and family - that is fine too.

Ultimately, whatever it is - it should be something you decide that is right for you and your life. Not your parents, not society, and not anyone else. Never get pressured into something because others make you feel you must.

I like her as an actress. Seems a bit elitist in her interviews, but if I were her and dealing with some people in BW, I'd sneer, too. 😆 So...

Re: her opinion on marriage. She's allowed to have one.

Also, marriage isn't a life goal. It's supposed to a milestone, an optional one at that. Nothing wrong if girls learn from her that they have the choice not to get hitched.

Originally posted by: Harley_Quinn

Before that dating and relationships should be made acceptable in all classes at any age. Otherwise without arranged marriage guys who never approached a girl, and girls who consider talking to guys a sin would never get married.

Not really. My sister had an arranged marriage not because she couldn’t date or talk to guy. She had guy friends and even dated but she never felt that connection. My parents brought the rishta and they hit it off quite well and she knew he was the one. They are very much happy and in love even 8 years and 2 kids.

You might say this is an exception but I have seen a lot of people going for arrange marriage not because they can’t date , they just think this as a way to find your perfect match.

I used to be a big believer in marriage. Still am. have this conventional dream of husband and kids .

The more I grew up the more I saw how demanding it is, the less thrilled I felt abt arranged marriage

It felt like, ur making all these compromises and sacrifices for someone u don’t even really love...feels moot

..

U wouldn’t think twice abt making those compromises for someone u love like ur mom, dad, sister etc...it makes sense when the person u are getting married to has the same position in ur heart and mind as them

Now u could genuinely fall in love with the person during the arranged marriage process that’s fair.

But most people get married if the person is “good enough on paper” or if the person “isn’t bad” in the arranged marriage process

It feels a lot like “make all these compromises and sacrifices first, then hope some day there will be love to not make it seem like such a drag”

I just cannot wrap my head around it 😐

Also why does society think a person isn’t settled till he/she gets married? Given there is no promise things will always be fine after marriage? Is anyone ever settled ? I don’t think anyone ever reaches a stage in their life where their problems vanish and they have nothing left to accomplish / no struggle

People who are successful worry themselves sick Trying to maintain the success...add to that a whole host of problems like health issues, issues having children, issues with children themselves , family politics

Kya settle bhai?

Originally posted by: Bakugo

Not really. My sister had an arranged marriage not because she couldn’t date or talk to guy. She had guy friends and even dated but she never felt that connection. My parents brought the rishta and they hit it off quite well and she knew he was the one. They are very much happy and in love even 8 years and 2 kids.

You might say this is an exception but I have seen a lot of people going for arrange marriage not because they can’t date , they just think this as a way to find your perfect match.

It is not an exception. The concept of having an "arranged" relationship exists even in the west where there is a dating culture. The theory is that people close to you and who know you well will help you sift through all the options to find people you will be most compatible with. In dating cultures, people will ask friends, coworkers, and even family to set them up. Some people rely on church groups or other social/religious groups and there are even matchmakers. In India, this arrangement is primarily done by parents and/or families and/or matchmaker.

The problem with "arranged marriage" in India is that even today many people believe that it is the better and more acceptable means to marriage. It is still steeped in many discriminatory practices. And many people feel pressured into their choices.

The ideal practice would be that people are free to date, make their own choices and date and have the option to request arrangements when they want assistance.