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SONG: Darmiyaan

"Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."

The fluffy jacket that she had wrapped around her stuck to her clothes, protecting her from the shrilly voice of the cold breeze that blew around her, the entire effect of it haunting her insides. Tapping her feet, on the cold tiled pavement of their door step, Khushi waited for her mother to open the door, her face devoid of any human expression, just plain pale, with nothing but a deep void of sadness reflecting in her blank eyes.

Aparna opened the door an enchanting smile spread all over her face, the tiring, dismantled look on Khushi's face startling her for a moment, but taking it as an result of a stressed day at school, she let go of her questioning session, and let Khushi inside, who without a word, grateful that her mother hadn't asked anything went directly to her room, and discarded her school bag to one side of her room, and after collecting her causal's disappeared inside the washroom.

Outside Aparna stared in confusion at the closed door of Khushi's room, and there was an impending feeling within her to ask Khushi about what had happened, but it seemed that neither her looks nor her mood complimented any evoking action that Aparna might think of putting up right now. It was only 5 minutes later that she had gone inside the kitchen to get lunch ready, sure that food would make Khushi feel better, when the ashened figure of Khushi standing straight appeared on the kitchen door waiting for Aparna to turn around and attend to her.

"Take your seat at the table dear, I am just bringing the food." Aparna told her, the clatter of knives and forks surrounding their otherwise quiet house, the dazed expression on Khushi's face not even flinching for even a centimeter, making her stand like a stone there as if a mannequin at a garments shop.

"Maa, I am going to the Raizada's. (Aparna turns around and looks at her apprehensively) I have an assignment to complete with Arnav." Khushi said in a monotonous tone, her own voice appearing foreign to herself, but she didn't know, when her confident chirpy voice had reduced to a low whisper. Aparna looked at Khushi from top to bottom examining the clothes she was wearing notably the jacket that she clad herself, causing Aparna to raise a curious eyebrow at her. Her calling Arnav from his first name, was another thing that had cause her ears to prick, since she was aware that Khushi had long given up the practice of referring to him with his first name, not even in front of their parents, this right now, seemed completely alien to her.

Lafzon se jo tha pareh
Khaali pann ko jo bhare
Kuch toh tha tere mere darmiyaan

(On words what was depended

Emptiness was what it filled

There was something between the two of us)

"Right now? Have dinner at least.*pause* You are wearing this pink jacket? I thought you hated it because it is pink" Aparna prompted, doubting the reality of Khushi's words, since her actions did not seem to coordinate well enough with her words. She seemed unfit for any kind of talk. Let alone talk, she did not even look like she would be able to stand on her own, but against everything else, Khushi was doing what she wouldn't be capable off of doing in such a situation, making Aparna think twice to let her go or not. Khushi chose to ignore the latter part of the question, since she didn't know what to answer, or otherwise didn't really want to answer, and considered replying to the former part of it more important.

"I'll eat it over there." She said in a convincing tone, her eyes narrowing down to look at the suspicious doubtful expression on Aparna's face, silent prayers being chanted in her heart that Aparna would agree to her desire and finally after 3 long minutes of scrutinization Aparna, awkwardly nodded at her, and she put a small barely visible, hesitant smile, taking quick fumbly steps towards the door, as Aparna saw her vanishing from the corner to the other street where the Raizada's lived.

**************************************************

The Raizada family, minus the presence of Anita sat in their four wheeler Prado, Arjun on the wheel, having had decided that, for the time he was here at Stanford he would personally pick and drop the siblings to school. Aakash sat in front with her father, while Anjali and Arnav on the back seat maintained little eye contact with each other, Arnav most indulged in staring at the planned, mechanical streets of Stanford, which for the record of it, he wasn't even remotely interested in, but as he figured it out to be, losing his temper or talking wouldn't help rest the internal war he was fighting with himself.

Anjali lifted her eyes off her book to look at Arnav, sitting serious faced, not having uttered a single word, not that it was an unlikely situation but it was surprising enough that today he hadn't even cared to counter back or make a face on Anjali-Aakash's non sensical teasing, instead had sat blank faced like nothing was happening around him. Her eyes searched Aakash's eyes in the front view mirror, sharing the same strangely occupied look, and sense of something troubling going on with Arnav that the siblings were completely unaware of.

"There's something weirdly wrong going on." Aakash leaned closer to Anjali, and whispered into her ears, his eyes darting towards Khushi who seemed not noticed what he had said or done. Anjali looked up from the pages of her book, inquisitively at Aakash and then at Payal, who was staring in a haunted manner at Khushi from Aakash's side. She painted a huge question mark expression on her face, giving in the motivation for Aakash to continue speaking.

"Khushi shouldn't be here in the library. I can't believe she's missing a Biology lecture. (stressing on his words) A NEW Biology lecture. (Anjali raises her eye brows) Me and Payal passed from their class before coming to the library, but oddly enough the entire class was there, attending the lecture, except for the four of them." Aakash related to her in a troubled, concerned voice, his words mingled together, because of the pace he was speaking at and the low pitch he was using his voice to be molded in.

"Who four?" Anjali questioned back, her tone reflecting her interest in the topic, now even Payal letting go of her eyes on Khushi and concentrating more on the conversation that Anjali and Aakash were having.

"Vivek, Khushi, Karan and Arnav." Payal said gravely, eyes locking with Anjali's eyes them sharing the mutual feeling of tribulation lingering somewhere nearby. A pin drop silence prevailed between the three of them as they looked away from eachother, and at Khushi still virtually engrossed in her book, Aakash finally finding the courage to break out the news to Anjali.

"I heard someone in the cafeteria saying Vivek and Khushi fought." Aakash said responding almost immediately to Anjali's questioning look.

"I don't know why. By the way, that boy was saying, it looked pretty serious, atleast that somehow does explain why Vivek and Khushi were not in the class, but Karan and Chotte?" Aakash said openly raising that questioning that had been polluting each of their thoughts.

"The boy also said, that the two of them were fighting about something related to Arnav." Payal prompted in between, and Aakash keeping his head low nodded gravely, lost deep into thought, while Anjali kept flitting glances from Khushi to the trio of them, getting more and more puzzled with every passing second.

"Vivek never really adored Chotte. That might have been the issue." Anjali said after some while, gaining both of Payal and Aakash's attention who nodded in unision, however not completely convinced with that being the actual reason.

"I guess we'll just have to wait for either of the four to tell us what happened." Aakash said in a lost tone, none of Anjali or Payal objecting, since they knew they had little choice in that matter.

In the car right now, the possibilities of things that could have happened, had started running a bit to high for anyone's liking, and Anjali-Aakash waited patiently enough for Arnav to at least give them a hint, but with him acting like a ghost the whole time, it seemed like nothing of that sort was ever happening.

"How was your day at school Chootte?"Aakash asked breaking the silence in the car, causing Arjun to look at him curiously surprised by Aakash's enthusiasm in Arnav's school life. This was the most odd question a sibling could ask another sibling, and most of the time, as Arjun could detect it spelled Trouble. Arnav glanced at Aakash's thoughtful searching eyes in the front view mirror, then looked away staying silent, hence offering no reply to his question.

"Why didn't you attend the Biology period? Where were you?" Aakash tried again, Anjali by now becoming more and more apprehensive, the atmosphere in the car had suddenly turned chilly and hoarse. Arjun stayed silent like Aakash-Anjali waiting for Arnav to answer, but this question too after a brief hint of recognition was met by silence from Arnav's side.

"You are supposed to answer when someone is asking you a question Chotte." Arjun said in a steady, angry voice, both Aakash and Anjali regretting that they had even initiated to get answers from Arnav in front of their father. They knew their father, he was cool and ignorant about little stuff, but manners came first to him before anything, and Arnav's lack of manners and decency had provoked the fire of anger inside him already.

Rishte ko kya modh doon
Naata yeh ab todh doon
Ya phir yunhi chodh doon, darmiyaan

(What turn should I give to this relationship

Should I just break this tie

Or just leave it just like that, in between)

For the first time in that ride, Arnav looked away from the window, and at his father, who's back was no stiff with anger flowing through him, his eyes darting from Anjali to Aakash still expressionless, but then later everything was back to normal, because he stayed silent. Arjun gripped the steering wheel hard, the rubber cutting the skin of his finger, as he stopped the car with a massive jerk, throwing Aakash directly into the front view mirror, his head saved at the mercy of his seat belt, while Arnav and Anjali each bumped their heads hard into the soft front seat ahead of them. Badly shaken by this turn of events, they looked at eachother in frenzy, Arjun's glare piercing Arnav now, who sat frozen into his seat, looking back into the eyes of his father, and then lowering them down, registering this as a sign of ill manners. Anjali and Aakash unclasped their seat belt both of them consumed up with fear for the worst, and it took only a firm hand of Aakash's on Arjun's shoulder that he backed out from inches, all the Raizada's in a bad mood stepping out of the car and towards their house.

Arnav kept his distance with his dad, which was as unlikely a situation as Cleopatra without her jewllery, because for the record, they were in fact the most coolest son-dad due ever. Arnav was a totally different person around his dad, a lot more comfortable with him then the rest of his family, but this time, the unrest in his life had just about affected this relationship as well, brewing hostility between the two of them. Arnav and Anjali went inside, Arnav disappearing inside his room much to Arjun's resentment who was in a good mood to follow and give him a telling off when Aakash stopped him, whispering briefly into his ears.

"Paa, leave him alone. I was wrong to ask him questions. He's disturbed, he needs some time to himself." Aakash said seriously, and Arjun seemed to register the implication of disturbed, and time because he stopped in his tracks however his anger not going away.

"No matter what the circumstances be, it gives him no right to be so ignorant towards you or princess. I saw the way you two were looking at him the whole ride back, and how he appeared to be in different towards the whole banter. This cannot go on Aakash. He needs to understand that he has a family, and his life can't be secluded to I, me and myself." Arjun said in a firm, hoarse voice, so like his military avatar that he carried, but at times he had to assume his role with his family as well, in order to keep things in harmony.

"Paa, we are used to it, and we have no desire to change it either, because all three of us have now grown up to be comfortable with this settlement. (His eyes leaving Arjun's and looking down) But you wouldn't know. You are never with us." He said in a dejected, resentful tone, and walked away silently to his room closing the door behind, leaving Arjun standing alone in the living room, realizing important things that he hadn't known before. They all had grown, all of his children had grown, and no matter what, they felt the lack of attention from him, it did not matter if they didn't talk about, but he knew somewhere they were harboring a deep seated grudge against him regarding that. Maybe he had been wrong after all, they needed their dad, more than ever right now, because this was the stage when only parents could hold them in line, or else, well things could get out of hand like in most cases it did.

Benaam rishta woh
Benaam rishta woh, bechain karta jo
Ho na sake jo beyaan, darmiyaan Darmiyaan...

(Nameless relationship that it was

Nameless relationship that it was, restless is what it made

What cannot be expressed, in between, in between)

*********************************************

Aparna rested her head against the edge of the sofa, her eyes reporting the time on the clock to be 7:00. Outside the first stars of that night had began to perch up in the sky, and even the moon was coming out of the clouds, twilight approaching the city of Stanford. 4 hours. It had been 4 hours since Khushi had left and she hadn't heard from her or her whereabouts. Stretching her arms to get rid of the cramps in her muscles she walked towards the cod lace in her room, dialing the number to Raizada house. From the other end, the manly, yet distantly disturbed voice of Arjun greeted her. After normal conversation she got straight to the point, worry and curiosity finally getting the better of her.

"Arjun, you mind giving the phone to Khushi? I want to talk to her." Aparna said ever so causally, however on the other end all of Arjun's senses pricked up, him signaling Anjali and Aakash to lower down the voice of the TV, both of them now inquisitively looking at their father.

"Khushi? Khushi is not here." Arjun said in a baffled kind of tone, rising a stream of panic inside Aparna who had dropped the phone momentarily from her hand and with much difficulty kept the phone back on her ear, her sweat glands releases excessive amount of sweat even in the winter weather.

"Wh..at? What do you mean, she's not there? She told me she was coming to your house to do some assignment with Arnav." Aparna said in a dismantled, panic stricken too, horrible visions out lasting all of her hopes, her eyes registering that look of utmost horror. Now even Arjun had begun to get extremely tensed and called for Arnav from inside, who came out of his room cautiously only to have Arjun rapid firing him about Khushi and of any supposed assignment, his simple answer being no. Arnav stood rooted to his spot his ears pricked up to catch every single word of Aparna-Arjun's conversation, not affording to miss anything. The color from his face drained, and his eyes turned beady when finally the call ended and Arjun with tension mounted all over his face reported that Khushi was missing for now, but Aparna had said that she would call Vivek and ask about Khushi, where she might have probably gone off to.

At the Gupta house, Aparna went into Khushi's room, and picked up her phone, pressing the speed dial button which she had very often seen Khushi pressing to call Vivek. The ring went on, as water poured down her eyes and forehead, one in the form of tears and the other sweat, respectively, waiting anxiously for Vivek to attend the call.

Kuch toh tha tere mere darmiyaan Darmiyaan.

Kuch toh tha tere mere darmiyaan

(There was something between us, Between us

There was something between us)

nav_bat2013-02-05 01:20:53