2. Deep wounds

5 days ago

manjiri

@m4manju

Originally published on 3 July 2023

About this scene: Arnav is distressed after knowing about Khushi's engagement. He takes his anger on his garden, cutting the good plants and flowers in rage. However, he accidentally cuts himself in the process and when Khushi rushes to help him, he dismisses her, calling Lavanya's help instead, intentionally hurting Khushi. (S4 episode 8 on Hulu/Hotstar, episode 125 otherwise).

Click here to watch ArShi scene

--~--

"It is my engagement ring."

Ever since Arnav Malik became Arnav Singh Raizada, he had written his own destiny. He had proudly boasted about it. ASR got everything he wanted, even before that 'want' came to his mind.

But today, when he heard Khushi Kumari Gupta utter those blasted words, he felt as if he lost something greatly desired, something coveted that he desperately wanted. What was that something precious he lost, he would rather not acknowledge. He was too proud to do that.

But he despised that nameless, faceless man who was her fiancé. That son of a b*tch who will be in possession of her; her body and heart included. Just because that sco*ndrel was going to marry her, that nonsense, moronic institution called marriage which Arnav hated with every cell in his being.

He felt an excruciating pain in his heart just with the thought of Khushi becoming someone else's. He wanted to remove that disturbing thought from his mind, he wanted to expunge that detail where she mentioned about her engagement from his life, he wanted to wipe out that part from his past, better still remove that s*um who was her fiancé from her life! Yes, that is exactly what he wanted. Cut out that man from her life- the man who was not him.

He didn't even realize when he directed his thoughts into actions on his beloved plants and started cutting them, as if they were that man in Khushi's life!

"What are you doing? You are butchering the flowers!" her voice reached his ears. Momentarily soothing him, telling him she was here, at least at this moment.

The next he remembered she signed her future with some other man, and his anger was back!

--~--

Khushi knew he was hurt. When she told him about her fateful engagement. She was hurt too. She hadn't liked going ahead with that proposal in the first place. This wedding, if it happened, was an ill-fated compromise for her. She had always dreamt of marrying for love, not for compromise.

But lately, it appeared as if her Devi Maiyya had decided to not listen to her wishes and not fulfill her dreams. How was she going to fulfill them in any case? The man who occupied Khushi's mind and heart, wasn't hers.

Even the thought caused her eyes to fill with tears. But she had to look for him. Something was telling her; he was not ok. And she had to follow her instinct.

She found him tending his garden, rather mercilessly cutting his beautiful plants!

"Do you even realize you are cutting the flowers?" she asked, trying to stop his madness!

"Whatever I do, what has it got to do with you?" he asked angrily and then, the sharp scissor cut his hand!

Even before the 'Uff' escaped his lips, Khushi had felt the pain! Her breathing almost stopped, her heart started ringing in her ears, when she saw blood spilling out from his palm.

No. It was not his wound, not his hurt, not pain, it was all hers! In that moment, she realized Arnavji's deep wound had power to cause unimaginable pain to her!

She had to do something, stop that blood flow. So, reaching out near him, she tried to take his hand in hers.

And he pulled away.

He rejected her help, her right to take care of him.

Telling her, she had no right over him.

"ASR, I-" they heard Lavanya's voice who noticed the wound and came running to his side.

Khushi watched helplessly standing at a distance as Lavanya cleaned his wound, applied the antiseptic and fussed over him. And he let her.

Because she was his girlfriend, while Khushi was- no one!

Never had she felt so vulnerable, so weak, that the person she wanted to take care of had refused to let her come near him! But the flickering glances he had been throwing her way had clearly told her, deep within he wanted her to be there, to tend to his wounds, to tend to his hurt. She wanted to do it too, to go near him, to take away all his pain, to kiss his forehead and tell him he needn't worry because she was here with him.

How was she to do it? How should she overcome this distance?

Sighing at her destiny, Khushi tried to turn around to leave, although it felt as if her feet had suddenly been weighed down by huge weights!

And then she heard Lavanya's voice calling out to her, "Chamkeeli, come and help me here."

.

.

"Don't go." Arnav had subconsciously pleaded her. But when she indeed came near him on Lavanya's call, he didn't want her near him anymore. Because then he was again reminded of the fact that, soon she won't be around him like this.

Lavanya asked Khushi to hold his hand and when she did despite his refusal, her touch itself sent his pain oceans away! Her soothing touch had tremendous power to heal his deepest of wounds!

And that is exactly why he didn't want her to come closer to him, touch him, it reminded him of the fact that she wasn't his, he had no right to have her attention anymore. No matter how badly he wanted it... how badly he wanted her to shower him with her tender love and care, how badly he wanted her!

"ASR, I have never seen any excitement, any pain, any emotion in your eyes. There is only anger. ASR, are you happy with our relationship?" Lavanya's question surprised them both. Arnav wanted to answer her truthfully, that his happiness was not for the show, but he also wanted to see how his answer affects Khushi!

Khushi on the other hand, was curious to know what he said, although she dreaded his answer. Because of course, he was happy with Lavanyaji. He must be...

"Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it does not exist." he answered, "I am happy. You probably can't see, but I am very happy."

A relieved smile spread across Lavanya's face as she got up and placed a chaste kiss on Arnav's cheek.

And there. Khushi felt a deep knife had just been pushed through her heart and caused it to bleed. Lavanyaji did what she had wished to do sometime ago. Lavanyaji and Arnavji. They were together. She had no place here. And will not have ever.

After Lavanya left from there, Khushi too started to walk away when he stopped her,

"One minute Khushi." she stopped at his command and half turned. "Isn't it weird that you forgot to wish me when my engagement was announced and now on your enag-" he couldn't complete it as the word itself started causing pain again, so he thought to end this for once and for all, "congratulations, Khushi Kumari Gupta."

She kept mum.

All would have been ok, enough pain, enough heartbreak had already been sent their way today. But then she got a call from her fiancé and hell broke loose! Once again!

Both parted away that day, hurting each other. Him being wounded with her actions, she with his bitter words.

These wounds were now their lifelong companions, they had accepted. The only difference was their fighting mechanisms, Arnav chose to find his solace by hurting her with his words while Khushi chose unconditional defeat!

--~--

A/N - This scene felt like an 'it should have been you' moment for both of them. Especially the way he was angry at the start and later she looked at the closeness between him and Lavanya. Whenever I watch this scene, I tend to go and read one of CSD's chapters to assure myself their future belonged to each other, they do get together. 😅 ❤

p.s. CSD snippet/epilogue for this chapter can be read in my other book 'Choti si duniya' chapter "105. Pain & pleasure".