Chapter 15
Chapter Fourteen
There was something so soothing, so relieving about a sleeping Khushi. She just melted his heart away, while asleep. There was so much innocence and purity in her face that just calmed his heart. He sat down next to her, on the chair beside the bed. And with great care and courage touched her cheeks with the back of his fingers. Then slowly moved a stray strand away from her eyes. He gave a little smile at that stray strand, it always came into her eyes, and he always had the urge to brush it away from them. He had done so, so many times and her reaction each time had jolted his heart. A little blush, a little coyness, sometimes she would be completely taken aback and would slap his hand away and at other times her whole frame would tremor as his hands touched the side of her face while he brushed the lock aside, but each time, each time her heart would race, he knew because his would too.
He gave her a loving kiss on the forehead and then finally settled in his chair with her frail hand in his. He sat there memorising her face and rubbing her hand, remembering each moment he had had the great fortune of spending with her, while waiting for her to wake.
****
Khushi awoke with a start a little after nine in the evening, although she had been showing signs of consciousness from half an hour before. Her body had become distressed and she was moaning and mumbling incoherent things, when Arnav had concernedly asked the doctor why Khushi was behaving so, what was wrong, why wasn't she waking for she clearly wasn't having the best of dreams. The doctor then, in his attempt to relax Arnav, had related that it was common for trauma patients to relive incidents just prior to them losing consciousness before they awoke again. Although this piece of information was meant to calm Arnav it had the opposite effect, as the last thing he wanted was for Khushi to relive the nightmare from this afternoon again and now she was and he couldn't do anything about it but grip onto her hand stronger and keep on repeating to her that it was okay, she was safe, she was fine now. The only thing that gave him some solace in this interim was the fact that khushi kept a strong grasp on his hand, never letting it go in her nightmare. She would shout out things to her pursuer, whisper silent prayers and sometimes voice her thoughts, she would give a moan here or there, which seared Arnav's heart, making him hate himself for not being there, for not having protected his Khushi when she had needed him the most. And then came the heart-wrenching cry that made his heart drop with guilt, it was a very low murmur but it rang with great clarity in his ears.
Arnav ji.
It was said as a prayer, a prayer that he come and save her, she in that moment, when Shyam had advanced on her had prayed for him to come, had hoped beyond hope that he would come and save her, and he had failed...he had failed. That cry tugged at his heart, which bled hopelessly. She had hoped, believed, trusted that he would come, even after everything he had done, how could she blindly have so much faith in him and when he had had none in her. He tried to pull his hand out of hers, not being able to hold on after betraying her trust so brutally, but she grabbed onto it, digging her nails into his palms. She needed him, his support to help her fight through the nightmare her unconscious was throwing at her in order for her to come out of it. And so he swallowed hard the lump that had been rising in his throat, and held onto her hand with dear life, he had failed one too many times, but not this time. He had not been there to protect her this afternoon but he would not leave her side until she had coped with it the second time round. He couldn't be selfish right now and leave just because he didn't have the courage to stay there and listen to her encounter with Shyam, it wasn't about him it was about her and she needed him and so he would not leave her side but would relive the nightmare with her.
Holding onto her hand he climbed into bed next to her, to wrap her whole frame within him and hold her steady as she writhed and jerked in bed, mimicking the actions of her escape from Shyam. He held her tight, continually whispering in her ear that she was ok, everything was ok, until finally she became still, and relaxed in his embrace. After a long while he began to unwrap himself from her and move out of the bed when Khushi woke up a start and grabbed hold of him. Realising she was scared he held her tightly and whispered soothingly into her ear.
'Relax Khushi...its' ok. Your safe now, that monster he won't ever be able to come near you let alone touch you. Ssshhh its ok...it's all going to be ok. Your safe. I'm here now and no one...no one is going to hurt you...ssshhh its ok...' Cradling her, he rocked her back and forth until she stopped sobbing and nestled into his chest. And they lay like that, in each others' embrace, with Arnav rocking her lightly, rubbing her back and stroking her hair, leaving an occasional kiss in it.
After what seemed hours, Khushi finally pulled out of the embrace, having calmed down and realised in whose arms she laid wrapped. She pulled back from him and gave him a long hard stare. He stared back, trying to decipher what she wanted. There were questions in her eyes, as to why he was here when he didn't believe her. His eyes answered with his guilt, grief and regret, conveying just how much he hated himself for putting her through so much suffering, wishing that he could take it back and make it all right for her again. His response moved something inside her, and she looked away for a bit, when she finally met his eyes again, he was unable to keep hold of her gaze. They bore her pain. Pure, insurmountable pain.
A lone tear trickled down her cheek and fell onto his hand, which was still cradling her face. As he looked up to her she looked away. Sending the message loud and clear to him, she didn't want to hear his sorry or his grief, it brought her no joy, she wanted to be left alone and so he gave her, her desire, as he had promised himself he would.
He wiped away fresh tears, he could let them flow outside but not in here, where they bought Khushi more pain than solace, and silently moved out of the bed. As he moved towards the door a friendly advice once given to him resonated in his ears,
If you ever come across love in your life then hold onto it ASR, because love is greater than hatred, it's the greatest, make sure you never let it go from your life.
Lavanya's parting words. He should have taken heed of it. He was losing Khushi, not to Death, not to another man, but due to his own irreparable behaviour. The pain was unbearable, he didn't think anything could be worse than the pain of seeing Khushi crashing in the ER room, but now having to leave her because she didn't want him in her life was pain indescribable.
****
She looked towards him as he opened the door of her room to leave, she hadn't realised when he had gotten out of bed, sometimes he really moved like ghost. His back was towards her, his shoulders slumped, defeated, he was going to leave. Another tear trickled down her cheek, he still did not understand her.
After everything that had happened she didn't hate him, she couldn't...because no matter what, he was her Arnav ji. And now...now he was in pain. Granted it was pain he had brought onto himself, while she had tried in vain to make him realise the damage he was doing but still she couldn't see him like this, defeated, and writhing in guilt. And truth to be told it wasn't completely his fault, he was under a grave misunderstanding. A misunderstanding she had helped create due to not telling him the truth in the first place, but he should have at least given her the chance to explain or should have looked for the truth himself, if he could not trust her, instead of just coming to a verdict. A verdict that was now giving him such grief.
She could see his silhouette outside the window, he had left the room, but would not leave her side, until she was discharged. The doctors had said her recovery was going well but would keep her overnight for observation, in case anything went wrong, and if, as it seemed likely, all was well she would be discharged in the morning.
And so he sat, her Laad Governer...he had shown his dominant ASR persona by stating that he was going to stay, no one else, she had heard from Payal's lips. There had apparently been quite an ordeal outside after Khushi had woken up and the doctors had said that she was to stay the night and one person could stay with her. Amma ji and Bua ji had wanted to stay, but Payal had said that Babu ji would need them and so they should go home with him and that she would stay. But then Laad Governer had shown his governerness and stated that he would be staying the night, which led to a lot of upheaval as neither Payal, Amma or Bua ji were happy with him being near Khushi as they held him responsible for Khushi being in the hospital in the first place (having heard about everything that had happened at the Raizada's). But Arnav, had put his foot down and claimed that he was her husband and that it was his right to stay whether they liked it or not, thus putting an end to that conversation. And so Amma, Bua ji, Babu ji, Payal, Aakash, Nani ji and NK had all given her teary goodbyes, telling her that they would come back first thing in the morning. While Anjali, and Mami ji had whispered sheepish goodbyes, wanting to see her but not sure on how to talk to her after all the debacle that had taken place, due to them.
After they had left Arnav had taken up his position outside her private room, as he was uncertain about whether Khushi would like him to be inside with her or not. He would peak in every now and then making sure Khushi was fine, and when he thought that she was asleep he would come next to her, brush her soft innocent cheeks and lay a kiss on her forehead, sometimes he would whisper an apology to her, while at other times he would just leave an unintended tear on her cheek and then would be gone to his place outside the window, where Khushi would espy him.
He had left minutes ago, thinking that she was asleep he had come in and given her a kiss and a grieving tear. She wiped his tear from her cheek and looked at it. It hurt. It hurt her a lot that he was in so much pain, she wanted more than anything to relieve him from it, but wasn't sure how. Because it wasn't about her forgiving him, that she had done before he had even realised his mistake, for she had understood his reason behind his action, as wrong as those actions had been she still understood his plight. After all she had made the same decision to keep the secret from him and his whole family for the very same reason, Anjali. She had not wanted to hurt her and neither had he, and that was what had caused the entire problem, that ended up hurting them all. Leading to her being on one side of the wall and him on the other, when they both wanted nothing but to be with each other, yet did not know how to be together.
****
Oki that's it for now, will be back at either later today or tommorrow to upload teh next few chapters...
o N i can understand some of your anger at me for letting Khushi forgive so easily...but hear me...as much as i would like her to yell scream n shout at him, in my opinion the way i read khushi's character she is not that person, who holds grudges n ice's a person out, she is more of a forgive and forget kind of person, bcz she has seen so much misery in her life, she doesn't like ot linger on it but prefers to move on and be happy, she just wants to smile n make everyone else smile, and so that is why she forgives easily.
Also as i have made khushi say here, while the bulk of the fault lies definately on Arnav she has also has some of the wieght to carry for the things that has happened she created the misunderstanding, of course unintentionally but yes...n also while Khushi has forgiven him, she hasn't voiced it or let him know, so he thinks has not...and also there is the fact that Khushi lives for her loved ones more then herself, and so when they are in pain she is too, she easily forgets her pain but can't let go of her loved ones, and Arnav, no matter what is her love, and so she cannot take his pain, she feels it and that is why she forgives him because she knows just how sorry he is, and that is why she forgives him because its not about her hearing him apologise she doesn't want that as that will hurt her more, seeing him defeated, see if you think about it no matter how much someone you love has wronged you you will never want to see them defeated (well that is how i think anyway) and so that is why i have let her forgive him without a shouting match and stuff...
I hope you all will understand and forgive me for making her forgive so easily, but remember there is more to come, and Arnav still doesn't know that she has forgiven him, he is still writhing in guilt and even after she forgives him he will continue too as that is the kind of person he is, he will never forget the pain he has given her and will try to make up to her for the rest of his life, be it here in my ss or on the show...well i believe that anyway...
so i hope u liked it and hope u understand where i am coming from, but by all means disagree, u don't have to hold same view as mine...i wouldn't want you too, do leave your thoughts if u have the time n i surely will reply to them all, I may not be able to give individual pms for the replys i give but if you go through them u shall find i have replyed to u all everytime 😊
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Comments (76)
thank you...im glad u liked them 😃
12 years ago
thank you 😳 n cool pic... i likes 😊
12 years ago
TRAGEDY QUEEN 🤣🤣🤣Lol I LOVE THAT i think even more then mother of all evil...😊n yeah for me the best way for aranv to repent n redeem himself was to grieve n break in front of DM realising how wrong he has been his whole life n how right khushi has always been...but not just abt right n wrong...it is when u truly regret n realise ur mistakes it is then i believe one changes their ways n themselves for the better...n that is for me is how one redeems themselves n so i felt the only way arnav could truly redeem would be when he realised DM's presence n began truly understanding her presence which would allow him to accept her n change himself n be a good person for khushi...n u liked the uncertainty...yay 😊 im happy that u did...n yeh it is annoying for a third person like us who know what they both want to see them go away form each other when they want to be togehter...but then the thing its easy for a 3rd person to see that but not for the ppl involved bcz when ur involved while ur intuition tells u that the other wants u, ur heart n mind tell u different things n make u 2nd guess urself...but yeah slowly slowly they will come around...thank you for ur comment, i love reading it, really makes my day 😃
12 years ago
lol...true yeah i guess that is tere biggest problem they don't have honest convos, where they tell each other everything...😊 n thank you im glad u liked it 😊
12 years ago
thank you im glad u r enjoying it...😳
12 years ago
thank you 😊
12 years ago
thank you 😳
12 years ago
lol...the pain is slowly coming to and end so just wait a lil more...n yup updates will done soon, am just making some changes as something occured to me while reading all of ur responses...😊
12 years ago
thank you 😳
12 years ago
aww ur welcome, well i was free for a change so was like will go n update right now b4 i get busy again so yeah...n yup for me that is khushi forgive n forget...n yeah new updates will be ready soon, just making some changes that is y taking a lil longer...😊
12 years ago