Chapter 12
Scar...
He was there in an inch from my mouth and breathed impatiently.
He was waiting for me to decide whether the kiss was to be or not.
He was a gentleman and I was more than sure that I would not be forced if I had some hesitation .
I stroked his cheek just before touching his lips .
I sank with my hands in his hair weaving them with my fingers , then pressed my lips to his firmly. At the crack of light and sweet first kiss, it was followed by another and then another .
It was all strange and pleasant and even embarrassing , but even so I couldn't stop myself .
His fingers slowly stroked my nape and he did not seem in a hurry to deepen the kiss , he continued to slide his moist lips on mine, as if he were testing the path before venturing deeper. And the hesitation, the waiting increased the feverish desire that was building inside since a while now.
When he pressed his face harder against mine and I felt his mouth open, I almost felt panic for that more intimate contact . I thought I had forgotten how it was done after two years ... but some things are never forgotten . And with Arnav it seemed to be even easier ...
I never thought that a kiss could be so beautiful and so different.
Changed continuously ... before a light touch of his lips, then intense , then our tongues met and then we wile away slowly. Inside of me there was a revolt of the senses.
I wish that this night would never end. Never.
I wondered if I had ever kissed someone really .
I would not be able to easily forget his taste, I could become a lifelong dependent, pity that I had only few months.
Arnav 's hand went down to stroke my arm and stopped on the wrist where he drew small circles with his thumb as he tried to catch his breath without having to disconnect from me.
"What ... what have you got here ? "he asked suddenly.
"Where ?" I mumbled numbly rubbing my nose against his.
"Here ."
He pulled away from me creating a sense of emptiness in the chest and then looked down at my wrist where it ran from side to side , three scars .
Immediately withdrew my arm hiding the whole hand into the sleeve of his
sweatshirt.
"Nothing . It's nothing . " I said
"How do you get them ?" He asked .
I got up. "We should go , now it's cold here."
" Khushi ... " he started to say
" I do not know , okay? And I do not want to talk about it . "
If I did not know, I wish, how I was going to talk about it? I was not good at lying , I've always said that.
I shrugged and stepped down the seventy-six steps that separated us from the beach until I reached the shore.
That beautiful kiss had been interrupted in the worst way , bringing to light things in my memory that it was better that they should remain buried .
Unfortunately, I already knew that defensively , I would have sparked the curiosity of Arnav . It would have been wiser to ignore it and invent a bullshit at the time, but unfortunately I failed.
Every thing or word that took me back to the past was still vivid in my mind with all the sad feelings and negative follow-up and when the topic was out , I could not be indifferent.
That was another aspect that I would have to work in order to be able to be sealed . No one had to pay attention to the weight on my shoulders , I had to try to have fewer weak points as possible, because there are petty people in the world who are waiting to take advantage of your weaknesses.
Arnav joined me silence, with his hands in his pockets and looking down . I hoped he had not offended for having decided to keep my business as such.
Maybe one day , maybe before I go , I could tell him the story of my life without omitting details.
Yes, I would do so . Reveal everything now , at the beginning of our life together as our knowledge, would have meant me crazy . Because I was sure that his gaze towards me would change, even his ways would change and I would not have endured thus risking to mess up my plan to start a new life in a new country.
Arnav said nothing throughout the journey by boat and even on the car. He had fallen into a kind of trance and I did not like it . We had kissed , what the hell , that was the most important thing and not that he had found the bloody scars.
Maybe I should be there more careful , covering them with those wide bracelets of leather or some other nonsense, I saw solutions only after the damage was already done.
Every mistake is an experience , my father said , learn from your mistakes .
That's for sure .
We went into the elevator and I felt tiny . It seemed that everything was going to swallow me around from time to time and I could not stand the coldness of Arnav . It would have been a thousand times better feel embarrassed and not uncomfortable in that way.
When he opened the door and then closed it with the snap , he looked at me.
Surely his mind had galloped all the way and now he had made his mind about the way in which I had procured the scars.
" Will you promise me one thing ?" I asserted low tone and perhaps a little tired.
"What ?" He asked.
I sat down on the couch to study me the nails , with the sweatshirt that protected me from the cold. I wonder if there was something on the market to keep me safe from all that I did not want to see or hear.
Arnav leaned against the wall and I did not like his eyes. As I feared . It still he did not know a damn thing about me ...
"Look, it's not like you think ," I snapped . "You did not bring at home a suicidal maniac ."
"If you speak with me , I ..." He started to say
"I will not ," I said again .
"Promise me that when you're ready , you'll do it ."
" I do not know , I have to think about it. In fact , I already know that I will not do it. "
"It still troubles you, it is so obvious. How can you move forward if you do not you get rid of the past?" He asked .
"Look " I began trying to keep my voice calm . "I appreciate your thoughtfulness towards me , but you do not need it . I do not need to vent or talk about it or anything. I just want to sit in peace and not to tell anyone about the nasty business of mine. "
I had figured out by now that Arnav was a kind and apprehensive that he asked to speak to him not for gossip or for some kind of curiosity , he did it simply because he thought he could help me .
"As you wish" he said finally surrendering .
I went into the bedroom to get some clean linen and something to wear for the night and then I locked myself in the bathroom.
It was not possible that every time I went against him , regardless of the way I did, I felt guilty .
I did not want to sleep, I did not have the desire to breathe.
I snorted and then grabbed toothpaste and toothbrush and started to brush my teeth. I had to find a way to get out of that stagnant situation as soon as possible , I did not like the look he has in store for me , a mixture of compassion and who knows what else!
The easiest way was to the truth , always. I had already experienced several times that the hide , not saying , fed only questions that did nothing but confuse the situation even more .
I rinsed my mouth. I wonder why the scars on my wrists had started to burn ... maybe it was just suggestion, only the aftermath of the bloody memory.
I opened the tap on the sink and put both hands under running cold water . All of a sudden I felt an emptiness in the stomach and my eyes filled with tears that I ... and to think that he had not seen the rest of my body ...
" Khushi I go for a walk ," Arnav said through the door.
"What? At this hour? " I asked stunned.
"Yes, I did not sleep ."
" All right," I said, feeling guilty for the umpteenth time.
He was afraid of me, it's done. He thought I could hurt him in his sleep or hurt him in some other way . I was spoiled with my own hands because of my stupid head that could not go any further.
How many people in the world has had trauma ? And why the hell I was the only one to be trapped in those terrible situations?
I wore shorts and a tank top with a pathetic little flowers and then went to lie down on the empty bed watching the stars on the ceiling.
I grimaced . I was really an idiot , or even more . What did I expect? Life was not all pink and flowers and sooner or later something would happen to me that would take me back to the past with the mind and if every time I had behaved that way , I could consider myself over!
I got up from the bed and went to get a drink of water in the small kitchenette. Arnav had not returned and it was almost two o'clock. Maybe he had gone to meet his girlfriend ...
I'd let myself go with him even though I knew he was engaged , I had not performed well good girls do not behave like this. .
But I liked it so much ... I felt like I was in the clouds .
I left the house and went silently down the stairs of the building. Arnav had told me that he had a darkroom in the basement and saw that I could not sleep it was a good opportunity to go and look it. Everything about him seemed interesting beyond all limits .
The basements were dark , silent and humid , and there was also the smell of mold and often heard crunches and dripping water .
Each iron door was numbered according to the apartment , so I do not take me long to find the one which belonged to Arnav , I hoped that it was only open else otherwise...
As I turned the handle, the door opened. I walked slowly opening it finding myself in a pleasantly warm and nestled in a soft red light. There were different smells mingling , but I do not recognize anybody . There were wires like those of linen that ran from wall to wall where had hung some white cards . Then on the shelves there were several containers filled with liquid .
I went to the center of the room , looking around from each side and then gasped .
I covered my mouth in surprise and I felt my heart beat like a drum.
Why ? Why the darkroom of Arnav was full of pictures of me ?
When we were in Vegas and I believed that Arnav did the stupid photographs to mirrors or reflections of windows, but he was photographing me.
Me And none of those images was stupid .
He had managed to capture the expressions that even I knew to do. He had blocked the images that made me so different , as I do.
He had photographed even when I slept ... And I liked ... Why ?
I was a horrible person to have thought about unpleasant things about him. While he was sweet , sensitive, and just damn good .
Here's the story of my life. The handsome and the beast . And I was the beast , there is no need to specify it because the other adjective is masculine and can only refer to Arnav .
The darkroom door opened, and the tuft of Arnav anticipated then his entire body. All of a sudden I felt like a thief , as an invader of his private space.
" Khushi? ".
"Excuse me ," I began immediately to say . "I could not sleep and I thought it was a good idea to come and see your own darkroom ."
"You like ? " He asked gently hint of a smile.
" ... Yes , it's wonderful ."
He did not seem troubled by the fact that I had discovered that there was a wall full of photos of my face.
He took off his jacket and sweatshirt , staying with a white undershirt , but he came close to me , he was at a safe distance . The stomach discomfort came again .
"You ... " I shook my hands . "Are you afraid of me?"
It was difficult to accept that a second before I thought to please him and a second later that he was afraid of me.
He looked at me confused then came over to me . In the gloom accompanied by the looming silence, his presence seemed to dilate.
He seemed to be everywhere, inside and outside of me , in my eyes and in every corner where my sight could reach .
He bent his face to mine and kissed me.
"Yes, I'm afraid of you."
"And" I took a deep breath because it looked like I was about to pass out from lack of air . "Why are you kissing me ?" I whispered putting my arms around his neck.
"I can not do without " he said clasping and leaning me against the cold wall . "And that's my fear ."
Arnav had the ability to say the important things with an ease out of the ordinary . I would never be able to reveal my weaknesses or my fears as he did. Perhaps this was because he was an artist , and possessed a higher gear, an unknown method to reach the hearts of people without preamble.
Seconds proceed and our kiss became intense and his body began to burn or maybe it was mine ...
He gripped my hips, grabbing the hem of my stupid tank top with small flowers , he wanted to take it off ...
But I, I could not . I did not want . He would see.
" What are you doing ?" I stammered restless trying to keep my shirt in place.
"It is not so hard to imagine ... ".
" You're engaged ! " I said in a moment of lucidity.
With great strides, I reached the door of the small room and then went out without looking back .
Another bas***d in my life? No, thank you .
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Comments (36)
Thanks to all of you for the comment ji🤗🤗🤗Welcome on board new readerManu and Nikita😉Before starting:I know you all want to know ASAPKhushi and scar funda but it will some time ji butI'll start unfolding her past in 2-3 chappyand also the most famous Sheetal will her entry soonish...something like in 2-3 chappy😆😆😆And now upd😃
11 years ago
LOVED THE UPDATE KHUSHI AND ARNAV KISS WAS TOE CURLING AND SHE HAS SCAR WHEN YOU SAID THREE SCARS ON HER WRIST I THOUGHT SHE HAD TRIED TO KILL HERSELF BUT SHE HAS MORE SHE ALSO KEEPS EVERY ONE AT BAY LOVED THE UPDATE THANKS FOR THE PM
11 years ago
Damn This FF is fantastic ji !!Once again thousands of kisses to manal that i came to know about this FF..I'm so so so intrigued ji.And i am seriously in love with the Arnav of your FF , he's just too damn sweet , hot sexy , caring for his own good.Khushi has a bad past and i am really really curious to know it ji.There's undeniable attraction between the two , but Khushi's past is holding her back at each step.I so want her to open up to Arnav , i'm sure he'll support her , he's such a sweetheart after all !And their kisses are so passionate...they make me blush ji..Lol..But what yo wrote about the next chapter scares me ji.I don't want anyone among Arnav or Khushi to face an accidentji.I just can't wait for the next chapter now.Plz plz plz update soon Ji.NIKITA 😳 Arshi-Nikita1232013-11-06 15:48:01
11 years ago
Dances!!!😳
11 years ago
11 years ago
Devdas ji 😎 _edited_haaayeee let me just die now...they kissed wow!!their talks were really cute.. 😳The boat ride, their sneaking into the light house and the romantic moments between them.. wow just wow!!Now I'm confused! Whats with the scars and Khushi's silence🤢She's not a suicide maniac or something? I just want the story behind the same to be solid!! Pls Paro ji?Haaa he had her pictures all over his dark room! chhupe rustam Arnav 😳cant wait for the next chapter update fast ji😉Sarunfanatic_Ji2013-11-06 04:30:54
11 years ago
Thanks to all of you guys...I'll upd asap ji :D
11 years ago
Bookmarking 😊
11 years ago
That is the best update... 😉yes... they kissed... 😳khushi got scars on her body??waiting eagerly for khushi past... and more kisses... ☺️update soon ji... 😳Love it... ❤️
11 years ago
this was my fav part...really loved the way you wrote and took the turn...finally they kissed yet became distant again...waiting for more as to know the mystery of khushi's past...update soon...can't wait for the next one...
11 years ago