Chapter 9

whisperer

@whisperer

"Yyyoouu hheard wwwrong..." Khushi stutters to him. He lets go of her and steps back, "I dddon't lovvve you." There she said it. What she had wanted to say since she found out that he loved her. She had been thinking about this for two weeks, but now she had said it. She didn't want to fall under his trap again. She forgave him for what he had done because her brother's did the same to her. But she couldn't live with him. Not after what happened. She loved him and hated him at the same time, so how can she possibly start a new relationship with him. He loved her but didn't completely understand her. Couldn't hear the taunts? Couldn't see how different they were? Did he completely forget about what he had done? Did he forget that she was changed? How could he possibly love her after four years? Yes he suffered a lot without her presence, but what about her? The one who suffered the most? What would people say if they got back together? Probably say she's paying him. She suffered ENOUGH! She wanted to forget the past. He was right, that we should forget our past. But then why did he forget his own line, why?

Khushi saw him lean back and saw his eyes turn cold. Suddenly, again she felt as if she did wrong. Was it okay, she had said that to him? He was right, she loved him. But he was also wrong, she loathed him. "What?!" He punched the tree and sighed. He turned around and walked away, but again turned around and went to her. "This is some kind of game you're playing, right? RIGHT? I've changed...CHANGED for you. You're fu***in insane." he yelled at her. Khushi shook her as she flinched from his raised voice. "Well, ...I don't give a shit. ...You know what... I was wrong. Here's the best birthday gift...and that is get out of my life." He spoke in a quiet deadly voice and leaves.

Khushi stood there half surprised and half shocked. She knew he would act like this, but she also expected him to understand her. She was right, she did this on purpose. She was testing him, testing his patience, and testing his strength to which he loved her. She knew she did the right thing. However, she was sad. She came here because her half heart belonged here and made her way to here. She just hopes that he doesn't come back. She really wants to forget this. She wanted to forget about the person she hated and still fell in love with. Yes, She fell in love with Arnav Singh Raizada after his betrayal. But she has to keep that secret, she didn't want to hear more taunts. It would not only be the society talking about her, but her family and relative as well. She wanted to forget him. The one who didn't want to see after she came back after four years, but whom she has interacted and changed so many emotions with ever since she came back. She didn't care what Devi Maiya said, she had to do this. She couldn't live like this. She was going to stay here and live her life, without him and without the taunts. She didn't care what he did or how he was. She was letting him go. But she wanted her heart back that he carried. However, he carried it with her.

She walks slowly back into the house. As she walks into the house she sees her brother making a toast. She walks up to Muskaan and nudges her basically asking what's going on. "Your brother just announced that there going to get married in September!" Muksaan beams as she jumps happily and hugs her. Khushi smiles happily after finally hearing something good after all these four years. Her older brother was finally going to get married. He was going to marry the girl he cherished. She was happy, nobody could be any happier than her. When Raj announced his engagement to Avinash, she cried in London. She cried of happiness. Her brother was not only her brother, but her hero, her savior, and mostly he was her second dad. He was always there for, even when he went to college. He always called her every day and asked his friends to keep an eye on her, even if Armaan was there. He always helped her in everywhere obstacles. When she had learned about Avinash, she practically fainted. She was the best. Her Devi Maiya listened to that. Khushi always prayed that her brother always live healthy, get cherished, and live a long happy life. And she saw that. Avinash was the one who would not only bring happiness in his life, but in the whole family as well. Khushi silently stood next to Muskaan as she washed her brother beam with happiness; she silently shed tears of happiness down her cheeks.

She wipes her cheeks and looksstraight ahead and sees him standing there and watching her. He looks away and walks away knocking away people as he walked. Khushi suddenly lost her happiness as she saw him. This what he used to look like before they started dating, all cruel. Her heart kept telling her to go to him, but her head said this was enough. It told her does she want to live in this miserable world or grow up. Grow up is what she wants, so she stands fixed to her place with excited Muskaan.

After a while, both Khushi and Muskaan called it a night, basically these types of parties weren't there type. However, Raj and Avinash stay to get compliments from people and plus since Raj working for Arnav, there were few clients over as well. Luckily, Muskaan drove to the party so nobody had to drop them off. They stopped at Baskin Robbins to eat ice cream and take it to their childhood park. They sat on the grass, not caring about their dresses, and ate ice cream. Khushi laughed for the first time after a long time, it felt like she had just gotten freedom.

"So I saw you talking to Jigar." Muskaan says to as she eats her ice cream.

"Hmm." Is all Khushi can say.

"I don't like him. Rahul told me stuff about him."

"I know, but we can talk. Right?" she says. They sit there for a while staring at the fountain in front of them. Enjoying the peace.

"Armaan told me." Muskaan speaks softly, "About Arnav." Khushi halts. Not know. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but if you ever do, don't be afraid." Khushi feels like crying. For the first time, somebody asked her if she could say her feelings out loud. She never told her feelings to anyone. She had no friends. Finally somebody wanted to hear her. Wanted to hear her voice.

She saw Muskaan gets up. "I fell in love with him again. I fell in love with him again after I found out. "She says as Muskaan halts now. "Why did I fall in love with him, Muskaan? Why?" she says as she starts sobbing. She feels Muskaan calming her down.

"Love comes, Khushi. You can't do anything about it. It's not wrong to fall in love again." Muskaan said.

"BBBuu-tt him? After he did all this to me and I still love him." She said as she wiped her cheeks, telling herself to stop crying.

"Khushi, speak to him. Tell-"

"Why? What's he going to do? He doesn't love me! You know that! He loves his society more than me."

"But he changed for you." Khushi looks up as Muskaan speaks. "Everybody knows that. You know he never went to clubs, only to sports clubs after you left. Ever since you left, he changed. He became the hot playboy who went to bed with all the girls in this area to a business man who put his head in his business. He changed all for you. He helped out in this society, like you always wanted to help. He-"

"I didn't tell him to change." She whispers.

"He changed because he loved you." Muskaan kept saying to her again and again, as if trying to hypnotize her.

"I told him I hate him." Khushi replies. She saw Muskaan take a deep breath. Muskaan gets up.

Khushi lies on her bed, switching her room light on and off, not caring what she was doing. She kept questioning herself, was she doing the right thing? Or the wrong thing? She was confused. Really confused. When nobody supported, she loved him. When people starting talking about their love, she hated him. Why did this world have to be so rigid? Why couldn't anything be smooth? Why couldn't anybody live peacefully? Somebody got cancer, somebody became blind, somebody became deaf, somebody got in an accident, somebody got raped, somebody got battered, somebody got sued for no reason, somebody got murdered, somebody got hosted, somebody slapped their parents, somebody killed their loved ones for money, somebody cheated on their loved one, somebody betrayed somebody's belief, somebody lost their memory, somebody got a miscarriage, and somebody died. Why so cruel? Why did it always have to happen to those people who didn't say anything to anyone and still got hurt? Why did evil people have to kill bazillion innocent people to threaten their real targets? Why did innocent people always lose everything and the bad get everything? Why was it that people got their justice after they died? Why did the middle class or poor people have to work their butts of everyday and reach peacefulness when they got old, while rich kids got everything right when they were born? Why was that people who believed in God got nothing back, but the people who didn't got everything? Why? What game was playing in this world?

Khushi questioned with no reply back. She wanted to die. She knew this was coming, but still couldn't feel it. She had finally let go of him. Did he do wrong or did she do wrong? She was happy that he changed, not for her but for this world. She prayed for him to be happy and healthy, at least she could do that. She could pray for him, even if the absent relationship between them was torn now. Today she was Khushi Kumari Gupta with a new life. She would forget the past when she woke up to me. She would try to forget his intoxication that affected her. She would forget him and the memories they once shared.

Six months later: September 2012

Six months passed by. They never met. Khushi lived her normal life. She booked herself with a full schedule to keep her working more and less thinking. On weekdays she went to work, on Sunday's she stayed at the Mandir, and on weekends she taught dancing to young girls. She used to do this before too and she loved it. She walked on the streets, not caring what one thought. Why destroy her life, for these crazy people. Live a life, the way you want it. She was tired of this society. They lived in the 20^th Century and acted like this was the 1800s . Fortunately, people saw her not being scared and still living here, the elders started actually talking to her politely and people started staring at her less. Her brother was right, staying here did win victory. She could actually breathe now.

Khushi walked out of the boutique carrying her saree she just brought for brother's wedding. Today was the sangeet and mehendi ceremony. Today, nobody could stop her. It was her brother's wedding after all. Her and Avinash's parents gave her the full duty to do the decorations. She loved doing decorations, all the ordering and selecting materials was so exciting and fun. The sangeet and mehendi were going to be done in a hall since there wasn't big space in both of the houses. Today, she was to meet him. Probably.

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Khushi and Muskaan both ghagras wore the sangeet. Khushi wore yellow one with multi-colorhttp://bargello.com/Cypria+Gharara-249-Special+Occasions-107-2075.htm and Muksaan wore a blue one. Khushi put her hair up in a bun because today was the mehendi ceremony and her long hair would bug her a lot. When she came here her hair was mid-length and now it was to the waist. Her hair was her weapon, it was long and silky, but acted like a whip if she smacked something with it. Muskaan, Anjali, and Khushi checked last minutes details before guest started coming in. It was beautiful, just way she wanted it on the sangeet ceremony. There were tables set for people in the way back, but in the front their was a dance floor and small place with pillows, two dolkis, and a sitting space in the back for the bride. It wasn't decorated black or white like most halls were, but metallic mult-color just the way she wanted it. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-58IUPIBVPWE/TllmHFhSpsI/AAAB6k/tGoPAnn8H6o/s1600/Shaminder+%2526+Paul+Indian+Punjabi+Sikh+Wedding+Rituals+Mehndi+Sangeet+Photography+Calgary+17.jpg

"Yo!" Armaan said as he came carrying small trays with red handkerchiefs on it. Armaan was wearing a blue sherwani http://www.salwarkameezsale.com/pi/rkm-02-2010/indian-clothing/sherwani-rk-149a.jpg, all the guys have planned on wearing the same outfits on the wedding day. "We're do I put this. Man, tell me one thing. Why do woman always have so many ceremonies? Look at Massard-ji he's chatting with his friends over something on Facebook, while my mom and massi are busy fighting over what sweet should be put in the reception box. " he asks us.

Rahul laughs while coming behind and carrying more trays of ceremonial stuff. He was wearing an orange sherwani, brightening his face more http://www.salwarkameezsale.com/pi/rkm-02-2010/indian-clothing/sherwani-rk-171a.jpg . Atleast something good had happened over the past six months. Armaan was dating Khushi's cousin from her dad's side Riddhima Gupta who came three months ago from India and now was working with India. And on the other hand, Muskaan told Khushi that she liked Rahul. When Khushi first heard she thought she was going to faint because she was liked a troublemaker, but then Khushi remembered that she also once fell in love with a troublemaker. Khushi points to Rahul to put it by the dholki.

"Hey Arnav man, can you come over here for a sec.!"Armaan yells. Khushi's heart stops but also starts beating really fast. And suddenly, she feels a strong wind gust around her causing her dupatta to flow in the air. She looks around and sees everybody standing normal as if their no wind gust. She steps back while looking ahead and tries to grab her dupatta, but she smacks into something or someone.

"Hmph!" says a strong voice. Khushu turns around fast and freezes. Somebody stands in front of her with her dupatta on her face. She gulps. She reaches for the dupatta while saying.

"I'm sorry-ji, I didn't mean to-" she stops as the person grabs her wrist while with their other hand they take her dupatta off. Slowly as the dupatta comes down, Khushi freezes. She had seen those eyes, those beautiful brown crystal eyes and those beautiful long eyelashes. She had read those eyes once. It was his. The person standing before her was him. She stares at him as he stares back. She had longed to see this face even if she tried to forget about it. This beautiful face that now was pale. His eyes were red, dark circles under his eyes, his hair was actually messed up not even styled, his one eye was closing rapidly as if it wanted to sleep, and his body was cold not warm. She looks at him, trying to ask what's wrong with her eyes, but he lets go of her hand and walks away. She turns around and stares at him. He wasn't walking in his normal style, but in a slow tired style. He looked really skinny as if he didn't eat anything. He was wearing a red-black sherwani, making his skin glow, but Khushi however could tell his tiredness. http://menfashions.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Mens-kurta-designs-at-fashion-blog-3.jpg

"What?" he asked to Armaan in an icy cold voice. His back muscles were tensed.

"Can you go and check if all the electronic stuff is set up good because you know better man." Arnav shakes his head and turns around toward her again and starts walking. "Khushi, go with him. And on your way back ask Massi where the other sweets are." Khushi nods her head and follows Arnav.

They walk together as they make their way to the electronic room where the Dj people controlled all the stuff. Since they were coming late, Armaan wanted to check if everything was alright until they didn't come. Khushi looks at him while they walk, however he just looked straight ahead with a glare. She knew that glare was for her. She walks closer to him and whispers, "Hi." He looks up while walking. Speak, please speak. Yell at me, hit me, or kill me. But please speak. However, he doesn't, he just keeps on walking ahead.

As they reach the room, she sees how Arnav checks all the wires and switches. He rolls up his sleeves as connect some wire to something. Khushi gasps as she sees his arm. It was burnt. She runs up to him and grabs his arm and brushes his burnt. He winces. "Arnav what is this? When did this happen? How did it happen? Arnav, WHAT IS THIS?" Khushi yells at him as she brushes his burnt to clean the rough edges with her hands, however, not really cleaning anything.

"Why do you care?" He asks her. However, Khushi doesn't care what he's talking about. All she sees is that his forearm is burnt crucially. Hey Devi Maiya, I told you to take care of him, and then what is this? Khushi thinks to herself as her eyes start to blur from seeing his arm.

"Arnav, not now. First, tell me what this is?" she asks him again. She doesn't care about how he's glaring at her or spoke to her in a deadly icy voice. She just wants to know how.

"That's what I'm asking you. What is this Khushi Kumai Gupta? Why do you care? Why do you care if I got injured? Why would you care if I got killed? W-"" he stops as Khushi puts a hand on his mouth. His eyes slowly vanish the fire and start to shine from warmth.

"Don't you ever, ever say those words again! You hear me?!" She says to him with anger. How dare he talk like that? He looks at her with shock. Khushi suddenly realizes what she just did. But she did care; her heart ached when he talked about such things. She was close to slapping him. He removes her hand and pushes her aside and walks out.

She stands there shocked. Shocked that he was injured severely. Shocked that he didn't feel what she felt when she touched him. Shocked that she still cared even after so long. In the past four years in London, she looked at his photo that she kept and online, she held his sweater, she kept his earring, so there was reason she could think about him. But now, she didn't keep or check anything, and yet she still thought of him every day.

All the females sit on the floor while the elders sing some songs. There were many teasing and jokes made from both the man and woman to both Raj and Avinash. Avinash sat on the stage getting her mehendi done specially, while Raj sat with his friends from across the stage from Avinash. Khushi and Muskaan sat on the stage with Avinash as well and got their mehendi applied too instead of just getting the easy apply mehendi packets. Once in a while, Khushi felt his gaze on her, but she didn't look up. She was scared; scared he'll read her thoughts. She was already trying hard to smile and laugh after she saw his arm. She feels Muskaan lean into her and whispers, "He's staring at you."

I look up slowly and there he sat right across from her stage. He was looking at her intently and nowhere else. Just her. Just her and not the bazillion pretty girls who were on the floor. But her. Her stomach fluttered and she quickly looked down. Muskaan leans into her again and whispers, "Are you sure you're not the bride? Because you sure do look like one right now." Khushi looks up and glares at Muskaan.

"Shut up, Muskaan. I could say the same to you...Raaahuul." Khushi retorts back. Muskaan blushes and looks away. Khushi raises her gaze once again and finds him looking at his phone. Somehow her heart sinks that he's not looking at her now.

Anjali brings a microphone to Avinash and makes her do this funny wedding vow:

"I, Avinash, take you Raj, to be my pati, at the mall or on the basketball court, at the computer or with the football, as long as we both shall live."

"I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do to my car, Buggie."

"I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you."

"I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death parts us, or until you become a Miami Heat fan."

"I promise for now and forever not to criticize your music choice, but just don't put Rap when I'm in the room."

Everybody cracks up laughing, while Raj pretends to be hurt. Anjali turns toward Khushi and looks at her hands, "KHUSHI!" screams in the microphone

Khushi looks up frightened. Wondering what happened? What did she do?

"Your hands." Khushi looks at her hands, still confused and wondering why Anjali is talking on the microphone. "there dark. Do you know what that means?...that means your future husband will love you to eternity." Khushi blushes while people do their awes, except some girls who snicker. Khushi slowly raises her gaze and looks at him. He stares at her and she sees face less paler and more neutral. His gaze is intensive causing her to blush more and look away. Suddenly, she remembers him brushing her hair away on the bed and whispering to her that he likes it when she blushes. So she blushes more at that thought. She turns and looks back at his table, but finds him missing.

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She looks around the hall and finds no sight of him. Her heart panics, as if something's wrong. She makes an excuse to everybody and runs away pretending to go to the restroom. She looks around the place as she walks out of the hall, wondering where he is. She follows her heart and goes up the stairs to the second floor where nobody was supposed to be. As she steps on the second floor, she screams. She screams as if she saw somebody dead and worst of all it was him. He was on the floor with a pale face. Her legs go numb, but she still runs to her not caring if her legs were about to drop.

"ARNAV ARNAV ARRRNNNAAVVV!" she screams as she starts crying, "AAARRR...SOMEBODY...HEY DEVI MAIYA...PAPA...PPPAAAPPPA!!!" she starts hollering as she pats Arnav. She turns his body around so his face was upwards. She leans into him and checks his pulse, fortunately it was good. But his face was white as a ghost, making her clearly see his blood vessels. She grabs his phone and texts Armaan, Atul, Rahul, and Jigar fast while she calls the ambulance. "ARNAV ARNAV ARNAV...PLEASE GET UP...PPPLLLEEEASSEEE!" scream as she checks around for water. Somehow her brain's not clicking for what to do, she wants to get up and get something but too scared to walk away from him.

"KHUSHI?!" Armaan yells as he runs up the stairs with the other three following behind. Armaan turns whitish as he sees Arnav on the floor looking dead. He runs to Arnav and shakes him, "Arnav...yaar...dude...man...ddduudd..."

"His pulse is good. Jigar quick go get water, his sugar is low." Rahul says to them. Khushi sits there confused, wondering how Rahul now quickly that his sugar was low.

"I'll cccalll the ambuleeence..." Atul says as he takes out his phone.

"I already did.."Khushi says as she wipes her cheeks. She takes Arnav's head and puts it on her lap. Then, she takes his arm and folds it upward letting his burnt breathe.

"What the f**k?!" Armaan screams as he sees the burnt. Khushi looks up at confused. Armaan didn't know. Arnav Singh Raizada, please don't tell me you didn't tell anybody. Get up this minute right now! This is enough, I'm telling you. ENOUGH! "When did this happen? Khushi? Rahul? Why didn't he tell--" Khushi shakes her head.

"It's okay. I told him to take extra sugar pills, but I guess he didn't listen. That's why he's down." Rahul says smoothly. Khushi looks at him about to say something, but suddenly the Paramedics come with her dad following behind them. She sees her dad turn shocked as he looks at Arnav. He looks at Arnav and back to Khushi. Khushi stares at her dad, asking for help. Just something.

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Khushi walks out the hall with the guys in front of her. But Armaan stops her. "You stay here. Atul you too."

"No! I will go-" Khushi yells.

"NO, KHUSHI. SHUT THE HELL UP AND STAY HERE. ATUL TAKE HER!" Armaan screams at her and pushes her to Atul. Khushi falls into Atul's hand while looking at the ambulance truck.

Khushi walks back into the hall slowly, falling basically without energy. Atul holds her tight and makes her sit on the stage. Atul tells Muskaan and Anjali everything without making the others hear anything.

"Khushi, he's going to be okay. Shhh" Muskaan says to her in her ear. "Rahul said he's okay. Do you want me to ask him?" Khushi shakes her head. She wants to tear up these walls and run to the hospital.

After several minutes, Muskaan comes back. "He's conscious. His blood sugar and temperature got low because of his burn. Their coming back. Arnav said he's fine." Khushi sighs heavily. Bring him here. I need a talk with him. What does he think of himself? I told him to take his pills? And this burn? Where did he get it from? How dare he? How dare he do this to me? Does he not know how miserable I am? How dare he? I hate him...HATE HIM! Let him come...Khushi screams in her head.

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After what seems several hours, Khushi sees Rahul come in with Armaan and Arnav behind. She looks at him, wanting to split his head. He's walking as if nothing happened. She just needed a place alone to be with him. As he sits down on the table, he looks down. As if scared to meet her gaze. Muskaan gets up from the stage and makes her way toward Arnav. Khushi freaks out, hoping Muskaan won't say anything about her. She sees him leaning in into Muskaan and listening to what she is saying. He listens to her without any nodding or anything. When Muskaan walks away, he also gets up and leaves.

She walks up to the second floor and sees him searching his phone on his knees. She smiles silently, seeing Arnav on the floor like a baby crawling for the first. He turns around as if sensing her, she glares him. She walks up to him and pushes him. "ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA, WHAT THE FU****ING WAS THIS> I TOLD YOU TO TAKE YOUR PILLS EVERYDAY. CAN YOU NOT LISTEN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU? DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERYTIME THAT YOUR SUGAR IS AT A RISK! AND HOW DARE YOU DO THIS? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS? DON'T YOU EVER...EVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN! YOU UNDERSTAND, EVER!" Khushi yells at him while smacking his chest. He just stands there staring at her. She smacks his chest and buries her head and starts crying. Losing all the energy that she kept to control herself from showing her love for him. "Don't you ever, ever do this to me again. Ever...ever...ever..."

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