Chapter Five - Month Five

Miss.M

@Miss.M

Month Five

Rishita looked over the balcony for what felt like the umpteenth time. They had washed all the bed sheets in the house and obviously she had been delegated the task to hang them out. She bit back the complaint that was on her lips, that none of the three brothers did any housework, but deep down she knew that if there was anything, they would jump to it at the drop of a hat. 

At least she had some entertainment; as she’d wrung out the water from the first pillowcase, before snapping it to dry and leaning over the terrace railing to place it on the clothesline running next to it, she noticed Shiva and Raavi. Curious, she watched as Shiva sat on the cot near the entrance, a table placed in front of him with what looked like the book work for the store, whilst Raavi sat with her books on the jhula, right across the aangan.  

Neither seemed to be too interested in doing the work they had sat down with. Instead, she watched as Raavi looked up at Shiva, almost got up to say something and then shaking her head, sat back down glancing at her books again. Shiva looked everywhere else around the house except at Raavi, only taking quick peeks when he thought she wasn’t looking. 

Rishita had noticed the secretive glances for a couple of weeks now, which had gotten more pronounced right after their last counselling session. They had walked in looking at each other awkwardly, not quite meeting the eyes of any of the family. Raavi had excused herself that evening citing a migraine and Shiva had gone to the store after tea, making excuses about some stock take he had forgotten to do. 

As she had worked her way round the first corner, Rishita noticed that both were now openly staring at the other, not even pretending that they were doing work. A small giggle escaped and she quickly covered her mouth not wanting to interrupt whatever was happening downstairs. As she reached into the bucket for another sheet, still watching her younger in-laws, she felt a tug and had to look back to see why the sheet wasn't moving. Dev was standing next to her, holding onto the end of the sheet she had just picked up.

Helping her, he whispered,

“Why were you giggling? What was so funny?”

“ Look. Down there. Shiva and Raavi have been having a staring contest for the past ten minutes. It is so cute.”

Leaning over, Dev watched what Rishita had just described and a smile formed on his face. 

“No one can tell that they are getting divorced. I know I stood by Raavi all those months ago, but even then they were always so involved in each other that they never noticed anything else. Why are they getting divorced?”

“I’m not sure either. I told Shiva about this months ago. It was always about them and I know he doesn’t believe it, but the intensity of Raavi’s feelings for Shiva in the past few months is more than she has ever felt for me in the past ten years. If that isn’t an indication for him, then I don't know what is.”

Dev hugged Rishita from the back and they both looked down again, 

“Have some faith. The counselling is obviously working; remember how they weren’t even looking at each other, let alone talking..”

“And now they still don’t talk to each other much, but they are always looking at each other.” she finished for him, moving back to finish the task at hand. But that might not be enough, she silently added as she walked up the other side. Her view was now that of Raavi’s face and noticing the blush spread across her face, she crossed her fingers that they would work things out soon. 

***

Raavi read the same paragraph about markets for the tenth time, but her mind was preoccupied with the man that sat across the aangan. Every time she had looked up from reading the paragraph, she stopped on his face and any thought of how the markets were regulated went out of the window; instead she worked on controlling her breath that seemed to get stuck every time she saw him. 

She could see the frustration on his face. He had just torn off another page from the legal pad he used to write down stock re-orders; as he crumpled the page, his other hand moved through his hair and he let out a frustrated sigh. It was by no means loud and if she hadn’t been looking at him, it would have gone unheard. Eyes meeting, he held her gaze for what felt like eternity, until he glanced at her book, shifting her attention back to the unwanted distraction.

She blamed Dr. Yashasvi for this; she was happy being oblivious to her feelings for him and vice versa. No doubt she’d written down her thoughts but to say even a fraction in front of Shiva was something that she had never intended to do and that was exactly what had happened at the previous session.

***

“We are nearing the end of these sessions and I am glad we’ve made some progress; you’re both friendlier towards each other compared to five months ago. Obviously we’ll have one more session, where I’ll talk to you individually before submitting my report to the court. In the end though, it’s ultimately your decision on what you want to do with your marriage."

Looking down at her notes, Yashasvi continued, "However, for today’s session, we are going to try something different. I want both of you to write down your feelings about the other person presently and then you’ll read them out for the other. What you decide to do with this information is entirely up to you. I’ll leave you for a while together in case you wish to talk to each other after.” 

They had sat at opposite ends of the sofa and turning away from each other they tried to pen down their thoughts. As Shiva glanced at her hunched back, he saw her tapping the pen against the paper, the constant beat matching his thumping heart. Looking back at the journal in his hand, he decided he would write down what he felt. 

The tapping was soothing her frazzled mind, giving her something to focus on. Breaking the taps down into counts of eight, she evened out her breath and as she calmed down, she slowed the taps and put pen to paper, writing what had been in her heart for the past few weeks. 

The time they had spent after talking about what they had written had purged all the feelings that they had for each other and a new understanding had formed; they had finally let go of the shackles of their marriage and had become just them; Shiva and Raavi.