Chapter One - Month One

Miss.M

@Miss.M

Month one

She had been awake since before dawn, having packed and unpacked twice, before finally placing all the things she would need for the next six months in a suitcase and putting the rest of her things away in the cupboard at her Masimaa's house. Sitting on the ledge of the window, she looked out at the quiet lane, the only things moving were the ever present pigeons and the three stray dogs that had forever resided on their street. 

As the sun rose, so did the noise, first the quiet ringing of the milkman on his bicycle, sending a call to the households of his arrival, the workers coming to clean the streets, talking to each other as they moved from one end to the other, the shopkeepers whose business required them to open up early and the office goers who had far to travel. Then came the sounds of the temple bells tolling at regular intervals as each devotee walked in, the autos starting up for the beginning of a new work day and the general bustle of people waking up. She heard Kanchan kaki call out to Chintu to finish his milk before the bus got there and saw Kamla masi run out to give Nilesh masa his lunch. The shy kiss on his cheek wasn't missed by her, but she averted her gaze back from the end of the street, to give them the privacy they seeked. That's when she saw him; he had just gotten off an auto and spoke to the driver, before nodding and walking up to the house. 

He hadn't looked up, so she took one final look at the man she thought she knew, the man who made her question everything about her life, and locked away all her feelings she had to still resolve. Turning she walked downstairs with her suitcase even as the doorbell rang. 

***

He hadn't slept. The decree running through his mind had made him restless and he had spent the majority of the night on the terrace. He looked at the stars, hoping that the universe would give him a sign on what he should do, but the stars twinkled quietly providing nothing else but a soothing distraction from his agitated thoughts. 

As the sky changed its hues, he watched the fading light of the twinkling stars and sighed, taking a deep breath knowing that despite his reservations, the people sleeping below would be ecstatic to have Raavi back in their midst. For the first time in a long time, Shiva was ready and waiting outside the house before the first stirrings. He heard Dhara bhabhi in the kitchen getting breakfast ready, Gaumbi doing his pooja and maa calling for her chai. Then he heard Dev calling out to Krish to wake up and use the bathroom so Rishita could use it after; it seemed as though no one missed him, no one had bothered calling out to him or go looking for him and just as the thought crossed his mind, he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

Krish squeezed his shoulder and sat beside him, 

"I'm sorry for the other day Shiva. I was angry at you. I still am but I can see this is hurting you as much as it is us. I might be the youngest but I'll try and understand. You should go pick up Raavi bhabhi before everyone leaves for their day; it might appease them enough to listen eventually." 

Who knew his youngest brother would be this smart. It was an understatement to say they always took him lightly, but he could see an ally in the brother that had always followed him without a question. 

Dusting the seat of his pants, he waved down an auto and started off to his maami's house. On reaching her street he stopped the auto and asked the driver to wait so they could go back, nodding when the driver told him the meter would be running. Walking up to the door, his face automatically set in a look of distaste for the side of his family he never really liked, he rang the bell and as he waited he heard the footsteps on the stairs. 

****

He drank in her appearance as she opened the door and even though he'd seen her the previous afternoon, his eyes roved from hair to toe making sure that she was fine. No one would ever find out the concern he had for her; he had made sure of it, hiding his feelings behind a facade of obnoxious arrogance. 

She watched as he looked at her, distaste evident in his eyes, but it didn't seem for her. She saw him visibly relaxing even though his expression never changed and that confused her. The questions had started running through her mind again and the unease that she had calmed was slowly making its way back into her heart. 

Were they really doing the right thing? 

The same thought flitted through both their minds, watching the face of the other, almost challenging, wanting the other to give in first. Mama, unknowingly broke the contest,

“Shiva, accha hua tu aagaya. We have been waiting for you to come. This is good, both of you need to spend time together to understand that relationships can’t just be broken. I want you both to try to stay together happily and understand one another.”

“Raavi, Dikri, I know how hard this is for you, but please, for your mausapa give this relationship one more chance.” he gave Raavi a hug as though he was doing her bidaai once more and Raavi felt the tears pooling in her eyes. Blinking, she gave him a watery smile and nodded.

“Chal. The auto is waiting. I’ll take the bag.” he walked off, holding her suitcase, once again not waiting for a reply, but stopped as soon as he got outside the door, still in her line of sight. It dawned on her that he was giving her some privacy with her family and a thought of wonder flitted through; he does care.

The ten minute rickshaw ride felt like years, the silence hurting her ears; oh it was a noisy outside world, the beeping of horns, the people chattering, tradesmen selling wares, but his silence blocked that noise out and all she could hear was the thump of her heart and their breaths alternating. 

His family was waiting, Aarti in hand, excited faces shining through the sombre situation. Rishita pulled her forward and Dhara did her Aarti, then she was engulfed in hugs and questions and swept away leaving him at the door with her bag next to his leg. Krish turned back and gave him a quick wave over. He was getting angry at himself, how could he not bring himself to feel anything? Why did he feel nothing at their disappointment;  their questioning gaze? 

***

Krish didn't know what to make of the situation. To say that Raavi bhabhi was back would be a literal truth, but the bubbly cheerful girl he knew was nowhere to be seen and with his ever tongue in cheek brother lost in the same darkness, Krish felt helpless at what he'd observed for the past three weeks. 

Neither Shiva nor Raavi spoke in more than monosyllables to each other; Raavi who was forever talkative had a subdued air about her, quietly doing the work she'd been given, spending the rest of her free time at the Somnath public library studying for her masters. Shiva was no better, the family was still distant with him and he had stopped making an effort to talk to anyone; he was spending longer hours at the shop, timing it so he would arrive when everyone was getting ready for bed. He had become self sufficient, serving himself dinner and washing up after himself and then he would disappear once all the lights were out. 

Krish hadn't seen him going to the room even once since Raavi bhabhi had come back and it had pricked his curiosity as to where he would go every night. So after observing them for three weeks, he waited till all had gone quiet and then followed Shiva. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, he was on the terrace, sitting on the cot they used to dry spices in the summer heat, looking out at the night sky. 

"What are you doing here Shiva? Shouldn't you be downstairs; in your room? Is this where you've been sleeping all this time? I thought I told you I was there for you. At least trust me enough to tell me the truth."

"I wish I was sleeping." Shiva mumbled and the continued in a louder voice, "I thought I'd give that Chipkali some space and after all the court didn't specify the proximity of our staying together. Being in the same house is close enough. She wants nothing to do with me, so even if I want to do something about it, I won't." 

"And what do you want to do about it?" 

"What I want has never been important. We just need to get through this six months and then Raavi will go and find someone else whom she prefers. Let's go to sleep." ending the conversation, he pushed Krish towards the stairs. 

Sitting on the cot once more, Shiva pulled the chain around his heart a little tighter and hoped that today sleep would not elude him.