Chapter 10
5 days later, Nehru children's park, Bangalore
Though its was a children's park, today for some unknown reason it was unusually quiet. No children or their parents were visible here, the atmosphere was thus too quiet too, except for the sounds of swings which were hanging due to the slow breeze. It didn't appear like its some park, the silence and emptiness made it look like some graveyard.
The only person who was in the park was Riya, who was sitting on a swing and staring into nothing. The swing was hanging on its own, she neither made any movement to make it faster nor she resisted it. She just sat there, like she was waiting for something to happen.
She clutched one chain of swing and kept her head on the back of her palm, made her appearance look like a beautiful perfect painting, except for the follies like the bandage on her head and palm. Her face was devoid of any emotion, and it made the surroundings more melancholic, it was as if the world had stopped right there.
For her, world stopped there in literal sense. After that phone call, she straight ran to her home, packed her bags and nursed her wounds, unskillfully so. Then she took a taxi and headed for airport, and though she had very less chance to get a domestic flight ticket in such a short notice, by some miracle she got, maybe because her face was all over news, the heroic officer who shot Sikandar, or maybe because of her dishelved state which made her look like she was this close to break down but trying so hard not to break. Whatever it was, some 2 hours later she found herself sitting on a flight that was heading straight for B'lore. She clutched her hands tight in praying way, some people thought maybe she was afraid of flight but in real, she was just asking god to give her strength so that her break down could wait till she reached her home.
Once she reached her home, her father opened the door for her and she ran straight into his arms, clutching him tightly like her life depended on it. He was the only person in the world who could understand her condition that time, feeling some percentage of the exact himself. He tried to console her but that was of no use, some moments later she disengaged herself from her and walked for her room, and then shut herself inside it.
It might have 5 days since she was back, but for her the time had stopped. She had no idea what is she doing or what is going on around her. she didn't even call in Mumbai to know how is her ex team mates, but the guilt feeling didn't quite hurt her as she was busy to deal with the emptiness inside her. in day time, she was in her room, shutting herself in and staring into nothing, this continued for 2 days until her father burst into room and ordered her to get out and get some fresh airs. He may have thought it will do some good to her, but in reality, nothing can help his daughter to get out of this depression anymore. So since then, she used to take a round outside, no idea where she is heading, and would come back when its darkness.
Her father might have felt it was the betrayal of the man who gave his daughter second life which hit her hard, but he was wrong, or to put it some other way, he had absolutely no idea how she was doing. More than the betrayal, she was confused, how to feel about all this as a whole? Should she be proud of herself, that she finally put an end to the terror, helped to get revenge for her two best friends, made her ex mentor proud? Or she should cry, that she herself killed the man who saved her life, dragged her from darkness? She should not feel this guilt feeling right, because she killed a criminal and did some good job there, but she was not an ounce feeling anything like that, and for this, she felt even she is some criminal. She is actually hating herself for killing a criminal, how absurd and disgusting is that?
This confusion carried on and on, and when she just could not take it anymore, she stopped thinking about it. And that was the actual time it got worse, the emptiness inside her, and she felt sick. She felt she got some life threatening disease and that she is going to die, because no person can live like this. she is either going to die, or she is going to become insane, and there was nothing she could do to stop it as she could not find the desire to fight it. Earlier, HE was there to help her to fight with the darkness, HE was the one who stand with her throughout it, but now he was not here and the reason is. . .well, HIM. No matter what the evidences said, no matter what the person himself said to her, or did things, she cant bring herself to accept that, or hate him for that matter, and it was pathetic. The worse of worse, a police officer feeling guilty to kill a criminal, how absurd!
The breeze flew with a little bit speed and made her hair move. She absent mindedly adjusted it, and then she noticed it, darkness was slowly engulf her, it was time, that she should leave.
She was about to get up from the swing, when she noticed some figure is coming to her. she felt as if she became paralyzed all of a sudden, and when the person came too near her and sat on the swing beside hers, she felt nothing but shock and shock.
She must be hallucinating. . . there was no other way she could see, or imagine this. Why he will be here? Why Arjun Rawte will be in Bangalore, not to forget in this children park? How on earth he knew she was here, for starters?
"You should not even think how I know you are here." He started talking in his usual husky tone, shocking the living daylights out of her as she realized he was for real, in here. He didn't still look at her while speaking, he stared hard at the earth.
"But if you must, let me ease the process." He now looked at her, that black orbs looking at her with some alien emotions, which was completely unknown and unexplained to her, "Shree and his tracking device."
She nodded slowly once at it, absent mindedly, and then looked away from his face, now staring at the earth. She wanted to ask why he is here, how is he, but it was like words died inside her.
"You ran away." He continued, though he was accusing but his tone was not like that, "I was hoping to see you with a bunch of fresh flowers in hospital but you never came."
"My work had finished." She replied, still not meeting his eyes. He sighed at it.
They continued to sat like that in silence, until he moved in his swing as he tried to look at her face properly, the movement echoed too much in this empty park.
"How are you, really?"
"Confused." She answered, frowning, as she tried not to cry over this, "I don't know how to react, should I be happy? Proud of myself? If so, then why I am not feeling any of it, but only miserable?"
"I wont say that I can understand how you are feeling," he replied, sighing, "because, I cant. None can in this world. Betrayed by the person who was so close to you. . . it hurts."
"Maybe its not the betrayal that hurting," she answered, now slowly meeting his eyes, "its hurting because. . . because. . ." she was lost for words.
"That you cant bring yourself to hate him?" he finished for her. she stared at him, shocked for a while, then nodded slowly, confirming it.
"I should hate him, right? I mean any sane person in my place would have done the same, but I . . . just cant." She chuckled all of a sudden as she felt her throat is tightening , "I think I am going insane. I cant think anything, I am trying so hard but, its just not enough. I feel like choking."
His eyes filled with tears as he looked his friend, one of best friends, struggling beside him to fight it so hard. What is she fighting, really? The normal human feelings? Who knew one day man have to shed tears because of its own feeling, the feeling of gratitude for someone? Who knew one day, hating someone will be the toughest work to do, though the person had committed some dangerous sins? It doesn't matter what Sikandar had did to him, or thousands of people. For her, he was Dev Patel, the therapist who did so much for her, practically gave her second life, but ironically, the same person is the reason of her state right now. He tried to hate HIM more because of this, but all he could feel for the person sitting beside him is pity, the thing he hates most in this world.
She sniffed softly as she wiped the tears even before they could come out from her eyes, with the injured palm, and gulped down the lump inside hoping to feel better, but it felt same like earlier, choking and miserable. She then remembered something, and started to laugh.
"I still remember the day when I first met. You know, I don't really remember how much day had passed since Mom and bro. . " she paused and he listened to her intently, memorizing every movement of her jaw and every emotion of her face as she speak, "but then one day, dad nearly break my room's door and ordered me to get out and visit a doctor he had got an appointment for me. I went there, and I saw him."
"initially, I didn't even look at him, just stared at the floor and blocked everything he said to me, but then one day, don't know why or how, I looked up and he. ." she smiled, remembering, "he complimented me, said I got my mom's eyes."
"The typical way to get started." Arjun commented quietly, to which she chuckled, nodding.
"he was such a flirt. Never for once, he made me feel like I am some patient. . I don't know if he was like this to everyone or me, but he was, different, so much different than any other person I ever met in my life. A combination of craziness and seriousness, he was like an angel for me, who took my hand and pushed me toward light. Slowly, I found myself back to life, and all because of, him." She paused, not caring that the tears were now making their way to her cheek.
"You know, I should have recognized the tattoo the first time Sameer showed me," she continued, and he frowned at it, "I had seen this earlier, on his neck. . . I remember him removing his lap coat and saw the tattoo, such different tattoo, and so unlikely for him, but then, it was him, expect the unexpected. I cant believe the person who changed my life, one day, I myself will kill him with my own hands."
"He is not dead." He answered quietly. Her eyes widen at the news and she stared at him, with shock.
"He is in coma. . . your bullet hit him in stomach, he had lots of blood loss and internal bleeding." He informed her. she inhaled sharply as she listened, her whole body tightening, "out of news, eh?"
"I don't even know how much day had passed since. . ." she trailed off.
"5 days. . . 4 hours, 23 minutes and 12 seconds." He replied, and she nodded, absent mindedly.
"I don't even know if I should be happy about this or. . ." she trailed off yet again, and he sighed at it, sadly.
"Do you love him?" he asked out of nowhere after a while, and she stared at him hearing, her eyes blank.
He was observing the way she spoke about HIM, so endearing, with so much respect, and yet, with so much care, like people speak about their family or friends. He still remember when HE arrived in Mumbai, her body language around him, the way she looked at him, the way she defended his every antics. . . he could not help but feel all this effected her most because she loves him. It made sense to him, everything fits if she does. . . and yet, he hoped what he is thinking, don't turn out right. For once in life, he didn't want to be prove right, and the answer he could gather from inside his heart was, he cant look into her eyes if she does.
In all this mess, he felt himself every bit of responsible. When he was lying in hospital and came to know she had left, he felt miserable. The police, that time, was still searching more about Sikandar and had no idea the connection he and Riya shared. He remembered his own reckless attitude and the madness to get the revenge, at any cost, but never he imagined one day will come when he will question his own attitude to all this. does revenge even worth it? He might have gotten what he wanted, he might have busted a big crime syndicate and put an end to many wrong things, but in the process, hurting his best friend, it made every other thing look like unworthy and so. . . wrong. He even felt if he had not exist, all these would not have happen. . . how absurd it might sound. He felt she may have spared all these mental trauma if, he was not at gun point at that time. That she had to kill HIM in order to save him, made all the difference.
"No." she shook her head and he snapped out of it, feeling much more relieved, exhaling a breath which he had no idea he was holding, "I do not, never did." she answered slowly, still frowning, "but yes, he was a big part of my life. . . maybe because of that, its feeling so empty inside. I never felt like this after mom. . . you know." She trailed off, her eyes now out of focus and empty.
They sat together in silence, the sound of breeze moving around them and their own breaths, only audible in the darkness. After a while, he sighed loudly and looked in his watch, it was 6.30.
"we should leave." He spoke and she snapped out of it, again looking at him as he got up from swing and was now towering on her, "come on."
"why are you here?" she asked the most obvious question, what she should have asked in the beginning. He shifted his weight from one foot to another.
"well, apart from the obvious thing that you left without any news," he replied, looking at her intently, "I was worried about you."
'I am not coming back." She replied, frowning, to which he exhaled loudly.
"Can we do the discussion later, please? I am hungry and your dad said to come back soon."
"you went to my house?" she was surprised, and he gave her a DUH look.
"Obviously, now get up." He ordered and she did so, processing his words. He turned to walk, when she hold his wrist, and then surprising him, hugged him tight.
"I really appreciate that you. . . came." She whispered feeling grateful, to which he smiled, his one hand on her head while other pulled her closer to him.
"I would not have it any other way." He answered, then let her go as she moved away from him. He patted her head softly with his palm, and then signaled to come. She nodded, her lips twitching slightly trying to smile, and then both started to head outside, away from this darkness and silence.
"how is your leg?"
"I will survive."
When some 40 minutes later they arrived in her home, they found her father waiting for them outside. They went inside and settled for an early dinner, occasionally the males talking while Riya kept quiet, just playing with the food and not really having it.
"You need to put it in your mouth." Arjun commented and she stared at him for a while, first confused, then she flushed realizing it. He shook his head at her expression, but then smiled warmly as she finally started to have something, even her father looked happy with it.
"So, beta, how many days are you going to be here?" her father asked him, and he looked at him to answer.
"I didn't plan it." He paused, "but for tomorrow, I will really like Ri to show me the city."
She dropped the spoon she was holding and stared at him yet again, her mouth slightly open in shock. Did he just called her by her nick name?
"What?" he asked not getting why she is shocked. her father looked at them both.
"of course she will." He gave his daughter a look and she snapped out of it, again slowly going back to her food, "you should definitely visit the parks, our city is famous for it. Cubbon park, tipu sultan summer palace, lalbagh botanical garden. . . oh yes, science museum too!" he said enthusiastically.
"You missed the majesty bus stop and railway station beside it." Riya commented quietly, mostly murmuring to herself, and both men stared at her. did she just made a sarcastic comment? Then they looked at each other, smiling to themselves.
She finally realized what she said and looked up to the men, who were having a hard time to stop smiling. She felt embarrassed, but then she also started to laugh as both men burst out in laughter, though nothing was that much funny but still, it was good to laugh.
Next day, science museum
The guide was explaining to the tourists about the museum and the things inside it. Kids were running here and there, touching things they should not and gasping in awe to see the amazing thing science can do. Arjun for a while heard the guide, but then turned to Riya who was staring blankly at the floor.
"Give me a tour of museum." He said, looking at her intently, to which she snapped out of it and stared at him, first blankly, but then realizing what he said she gave him a duh look.
"I look like a guide?"
"You are the citizen of this city," he replied, to which she smiled silently, "who else can know the places better than you?"
"The guide knows better." She pointed, to which he stared at her back.
"Ri." He stressed her name, and the smile vanished from her face. She looked out of focus for a while, and then turned, making her mind to give him a tour. He looked confused at her behavior, but then sighed sadly.
She didn't really give him any tour, but just distanced themselves from the tourist group and was now lingering in the museum on their own, in total silence. They were in front of the transparent box like thing, one can go inside it and from outside, people wont be able to see any of his body part except for the head, when he spoke again.
"Thanks for coming with me."
"Dad could not bear me another day moping around in house, I bet." She sighed, "I had no choice."
"Oh come on, am I boring you that much?" he faked a exasperated voice, to which she smiled silently, yet again, and shook her head.
They came out of museum some 20 minutes later and headed for a quiet cozy restaurant for lunch. After they gave the order, Arjun braced himself as he opened his mouth to speak the most important thing, he was planning on it from the morning, when she cut him.
'I am not coming back." Her voice was low, tired, and adamant, and for the second time in last 24 days, he hated himself for this, but he had no choice.
"You have to." He replied, inhaling sharply as she looked at him, little angry and shocked, "The department wants to interrogate you."
She looked taken aback at the reply, then she nodded slowly as she processed the information. While she was quiet, he hurriedly explained it all.
"Of course, after HE was taken into hospital, they interrogated everything about him, and came to know he is staying in here, from past 6-7 years as a psychologist. I tried, "he tried to make his voice softer and apologetic, "I swear I tried, that you don't get dragged in this case, but they found your files in his cabin and now they want to interrogate you."
"Use we, not they." she answered out of nowhere, to which he looked confused.
"pardon?"
"its we, not they or them. you are also part of the department."
He sighed, quickly dropping this and getting back to the real discussion, "You are needed in Mumbai as soon as possible."
"Raghu sir must be horrified to know all these." She spoke quietly, to which he sighed loudly.
"I don't know. I didn't face him, in fact, none knew when I took off from hospital." He replied, to which she chuckled softly.
"Okay, when are we going back?" she asked, to which he looked taken aback for a while.
"What?"
"you are going?" he could not believe.
"I don't have any other choice, do i?" her voice tighten little as she spoke, "besides, its not like I was his associate who helped him in his illegal works."
"of course not." He protested loudly, and she stared back at him, confused, but then they both composed themselves as the food arrived.
"so, you came here because of this?" she asked as they started to eat, "And here I thought, all those friendly concerns."
"ha ha, funny." He replied sarcastically, "no, I just came to know about it last night, after I exited from your house."
"How is everyone in ETF?'' she tried to keep her voice light. He stopped eating and looked at her.
"Why don't you give them a call?"
"I don't think I established that kind of friendly relations with them.''
"you are a rotten liar." He commented, getting back to his food, "whatever, we are soon going so you can see it for yourself."
She didn't reply to that.
2 days later, Bangalore city railway station, majesty
People were running, several were giving their families and friends last minute goodbyes and the railway guards were checking their watches occasionally, as the time to blow the whistle of train came nearer. The Bangalore Mumbai train was waiting in platform number 5 and anytime it will leave.
Riya's father gave her and Arjun last minute hugs and she soon vanished inside, not taking any help from anyone for her luggage. Outside, the males were talking, as its impossible for guys to get on the train while its still on the platform.
"I am clearly not liking it." Riya's father said in grumpy tone as his eyes linger on the train, he was both furious and helpless the minutes she informed her about her going back, "but there is no way I can stop her from going."
"If I could, I wont not have let her come back, at least, not like this." Arjun answered in sad tone as he exhaled, agreeing to the old man. He looked at him.
"I don't want to see her getting hurt all over again." He answered, to which Arjun gave him a look of determination.
"I wont let her get hurt. I promise."
The both male continued to look at each other, but before they can say anything the whistle blew. Arjun get on the train, and Riya also came near the door, both waving goodbye to the old man who looked both scared yet somewhat relieved.
The train left platform and they both went to their seats when they no longer can see the old man. Riya again, unsuccessfully, tried to put her luggage on the upper berth but could not, as the train moving too much and her luggage was heavy. Arjun looked at her stubborn attitude, not taking anyone's help before he gave his own hand.
"It wont hurt to take a little help, will it?" he commented and she looked at him for a second, then together they put her luggage on the top berth.
"Thanks." She answered, and then settled on the lower seat, leaning against it as she took out her ipod and ear plugs. He sat, exactly on the opposite side while keeping his eyes all the time on her, and replied.
"Anytime, Ri."
She stopped what she was doing and looked at him, to which he stared at her in quizzical way.
"What?"
"since when I became Ri for you?"
"got any problem with that?" he challenged. She didn't reply, and lowered her head to put the earplug in her ipod, but he could see the little smile on the corner of her lips. He shook his head at her antics, but then snapped out of it as a magazine hawker passed beside them. he stopped him and bought a magazine, and went engrossed in that.
Later in the night, while they were having dinner and she struggled with her wounded palm to complete this simple task, he offered if he can help.
"no thanks." She mumbled, tried another time to eat properly with her left hand, and failed miserably. He shook his head and then tore a small piece of bread and kept it right in front of her mouth.
"I am not helping. Its just humanity." He noticed all of a sudden her defensive mechanism kicked in and she is refusing all the help when she needed them the most, so he tried to be sarcastic about it. She gave up and opened her mouth like a small child, obviously not liking it.
"Can I ask you one thing?" she asked as he helped her, to which he nodded.
"anything."
"who is going to interrogate me?" she was thinking about it, since the time he informed her that she have to go back. If someone from ETF will interrogate her, maybe she can relax a little bit, if someone from some other department, well then she got some problem.
"I am sorry, but I have no idea." He apologized, feeling stupid that till now he didn't even for once thought about this. she looked disappointed, but tried to appear calm.
"its ok."
"Whoever it is, it doesn't matter." He tried to argue, to which she shook her head.
"I am going to talk about my most vulnerable phase in life, I think it does matter."
He had no answer to it.
He was still thinking over her words while all the people were sleeping in the compartment. He was in the lower berth, leaning against the seat and staring into nothing as her words echoed in his ears. How on earth he missed that small part? and how can he even assumed it doesn't matter who will interrogate her? if he come to think of it, he is as clueless about this case as hers, since 5 days he spent in Mumbai he was hospitalized and he was always thinking about her. he had no find out as soon as he is on ground, in no way he can let someone mess with her, specially when she is in such vulnerable state.
His eyes found its way all the way to the upper berth where she was sleeping, curled up in a ball while the cover left aside, her fingers clutching tightly the seat though there was no need of it. He sighed, even in sleep she looks far from peace. What the hell that monster did to her? he may have made her life better earlier, but now after all the thing happened with them, he might have just scarred her forever, and he clearly didn't like it. He didn't like it whenever she was staring into nothing, or all of a sudden she fell in some distant alien planet far from the present and she looks so hollow that time, he didn't like how she always keep her hands around her like she is protecting herself, he didn't like how she cried in front of him that evening in park, he cant even remember the last time she cried in front of him. She looks even more broken and . . . unwell, since the time he had first seen her in ETF after so many years.
He is not liking all these, he was visibly angry when he came to know his own department wants to interrogate her, they want to interrogate the person who shot that son of a bitch though it was hurting so much that time. He should have understood the reason behind it, but as she was concerned he had turned into a blind eye to the reasoning part. he had a distant idea that no way someone from ETF going to interrogate her, but he at least hoped, whoever it is, he or she will be polite and wont assume the worst case scenario, that is a relationship between a cop and criminal. They won't understand the doctor patient thing, he knew they just wont, because if it was someone else, he would not have understood.
He rubbed his temple as he tried to put an end to all these thoughts and get some sleep, but he didn't. his eyes found her one more time, and he got up, adjusted her cover so that it was now actually covering her body and not just lying aside, doing nothing. She didn't move in her sleep, and he stared at her, for a while, and then freed her fingers so that they are no longer clutching the seat tightly. There is no reason to hold onto something when there is no reason of getting hurt. He took some steps back, and then all of a sudden fell straight on his back as some stupid pulled the chain and train jerked forward. Everyone got up from their sleep, cursed the chain puller, then looked at him and started to laugh. Even she got up, her big brown eyes full of concerned and for a while, he forgot everything, the people's laughter, the embarrassing situation, or the back pain he should feel right now.
"Are you okay?" she asked, and he snapped out of it, signaling her not to bother and she tried to get down to help him. He helped himself and he sat on his seat, straightening his back and then all of a sudden started to smile at the situation.
"Are you sure?" she was not satisfied, and searched for any pain on his body, but he dismissed it.
"It's a funny situation, Ri, you gotta laugh." He said gently. She stared at him for some seconds, then looked away from him and shook her head, and what seemed like an hour, her lips twitched into a smile.
Next afternoon, Mumbai
Riya and Arjun stood right in front of her quarter, or home as the latter said and waited for her to get inside. He was already heading back for the cab, after he helped her with the luggage and lead her all the way to the door. She took out her keys, opened the door, and froze right in there.
She cant stay here. She cant put her foot inside and live here, not even for a minute. This was the very place where HE. . . she cant.
She turned around so fast that her neck might just snapped. She ran outside, and spotted the taxi which was already moving. She ran faster, calling out his name and took deep breathes when she saw the taxi stopped and he was coming to her, his face filled with worry.
"Everything alright?" he asked her. she took several deep breathes before speaking.
"Can you arrange a room in some hotel?"
Some 30 minutes later, they both were standing in front of room number 320, in Ravi lodge, the same place he stays. They both looked on as the stuff left them alone in the long empty corridor, and then they looked at the closed door of the room.
"if anything you want, I am in room no. 325." He offered, to which she nodded. She opened the door, dragged her luggage, gave him a nod, closed the door behind her and slipped against it, putting her head in between her knees as she inhaled and exhaled slowly.
No, she was not crying. Either tears had dried or she had made up some good excuse not to spill any of it on the man who had made her life, or heaven? She was not sure about it. When she was back in her home, Bangalore, she felt this was it, she cant feel more miserable than this, but this, this made her see the suffering had just begun, if she is unlucky, she might have to bear much more than she was feeling all these time. She was now weighing her emotional quotient, the time she had joined ETF and faced Arjun, vs this second re-return to Mumbai, feeling miserable and suffocating even before she had faced any of the hard job. If earlier she felt guilty, this time she felt confused and empty, if earlier she could not meet his eyes, this time she could not meet her own self in mirror, if earlier it felt like hell, this time it felt just like drowning in water where you are just gasping for breath but none is there to save you, the irony of this she is not even calling for help. Maybe she was enjoying this, being miserable and the full package, maybe she just cant trust anyone, not even herself this time. Life felt worthless now, there was now no dream, no plan, no desire, no feelings, nothing.
She always used to marvel herself at her strength, that how she never backs down, even when its her fault her ego and strength not to let anything beat her always used to back her up, but now, she just cant find one percent of that inside her. where had that girl vanished, and who the hell is this in her skeleton? Strong, confident woman? My foot. . . she could not even get inside the house which was allotted for her, in which she was staying for past couple of months, all because of one person who betrayed her. she ran away from there, she is a coward who only knows how to run, she ran from Arjun, she again ran from here, from everyone, and she will do as soon as all these are over.
She got up on her feet, pacing up and down and taking lung full of breath as she felt angry at herself. Angry at her own weaknesses, she was sure even people who face failure of relationship don't become miserable like her. why she is angry? Because she felt that person is her best friend? She thought him, of course, but why on earth she had assumed he feel the same for her? and what betrayal she is talking about, he is a criminal for god's sake, he wont come to her and tell all about his secret life, would he? It was all her bloody fault, she should not have thought so highly about of him, should not have put so much faith on him. It doesn't matter the time he spent with her, fixing her back, it was his job, all his cover, he was getting payment for it. . .
She hurriedly walked inside the bathroom, and tried to look at her own reflection in mirror, but she could not. She didn't look away though, but just took some couple of steps back and then, punched on it, smashing the glass into pieces, thus injuring her already injured palm.
It was the start of a week where she will break more things on the upcoming days.
Maybe anger is good. Blood is better than tears.
Next day, NIB interrogation room
"So you were part of this entire operation from day one?"
"yes"
"and you are agreeing to it."
"yes."
"You were present at the place where the encounter took place?"
"yes."
"Did you know the only surviving member of the arms dealing gang, Dev Patel aka Sikandar, before the encounter?"
". . .yes."
"You are not denying it?"
"NO."
"were you involved with him?"
"pardon?"
The ETF officer Riya Mukherjee and the investigative officer of this ongoing interrogation, Neeraj Shah, stared at each other as the former frowned at the question. In mind she knew what she heard, yet she wanted to hear it correctly. The officer exhaled, looking down for a while before staring at her right back with his cold eyes.
"Were you involved with the prime accused of this . . ."
"I do not understand the question." She cut him even before he completed the question. she didnt want to hear the name of the prime accused over and over again.
"I am asking you officer Mukherjee were you involved with the prime accused? Were you in relationship with him?"
"No." She clenched her jaw, staring hard at him to emphasis his point.
"How a psychiatrist doctor and his patient established a friendly relationship?" He entertwined his fingers, leaning over the table.
"It was accidental." Came the reply.
"Why you? why not some other patients?"
"I do not know."
"Did he know you were going to join ETF?"
"It was sudden. I told him before i came to Mumbai."
"Did you informed him anything about the cases you were working on?"
"No."
"were you providing informations from the last case you worked with ETF to him?"
She gaped at him, stunned, "Pardon?" she repeated for the second time, her mouth slightly open as she was not sure if she heard the question properly.
"Were you providing informations to him? You were working on the case which eventually lead to his downfall, did you give him any valuable informations? You two met during the investigation of case, did you spill anything about the case during your meetings?" Officer Neeraj Shah was now talking fast, his face visibly angry.
She stared at him quietly for a while, her expression remained stunned. he exhaled in frustration, "Answer my questions!"
"These are not questions." She answered quietly, lowering her face and composing her expression as she looked into his eyes, "These are accusations."
"And what you have to say about them?" He pressed more, desperate to come up with him, desperate to break the walls she made around herself to protect herself.
"I did not give him anything." She spoke quietly, pausing after every word.
"Are you sure about it?"
"Yes."
"The department can come up with call records and other evidences. You will be in trouble if anything turn up against you."
"I also worked in this very department for years, officer Shah," She replied, "I did not help him."
"How will you explain all these?" he moved more toward the table, boring holes into her, "How you explain your relationship with the psychiatrist? How you explain his coming to the very city where you are working with the new team on a case against him? How you explain the psychiatrist turning up a ruthless underworld criminal? Too much co-incidence, is not it, Officer Mukherjee?" He smirked little, as if challenging her to contradict him.
"I. Did. Not. Help. Him." She repeated the same thing. He looked mad with rage, and opened his mouth to say something when the door burst open, and a brown haired girl with specks entered.
"DIG sir is outside, " she looked taken aback at the violent expression on the officer's face, "he is expecting you both soon."
after she left, the officer composed himself and got up, exhaling a deep breath. he looked toward her, his face showing no mercy.
"This is not over Officer."
and he left, banging the door loudly behind him. She stared at the door which continued to hang, and said to herself.
"Of course, its the beginning."
After she came out, she noticed her entire team was standing outside and talking among themselves. Liza noticed her and came to her hurriedly, before pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Her arms rested on her back on its own, slightly surprised that she is getting hug in place of scolding.
"How did it go?" She asked, holding her hands.
"Piece of cake." Riya lied smoothly, and she pursed her lips in a sympathetic way. the rest of team came to her, asking the same thing, and she continued to wonder why anyone not asking her about her sudden leave or the days she spent in Bangalore without an official leave application. Her eyes found Arjun's and he shook his head slightly, giving her a stare as he stood away from the group.
"Raghu sir is expecting her, guys." Rathore spoke after a while, and gave her a nod. She excused herself and went toward a cabin, but before she pushed open the door, officer Shah came out, sulking. His expression vanished as he noticed her, glaring at her.
"You have too many well wisher in here, officer." He said through gritted teeth.
"I am fortunate." She answered, not getting what he is trying to emphasis.
"Your fortune wont help you." He replied, again boring holes into her, "If you are guilty."
"Sounds like you already made up your mind about it." She answered. He glared again to her, and then left. Her eyes followed him for a while, and then shook her head, entering the cabin.
She felt she was back to the academy days, and entering a cabin to him, it felt she had done a mischief and Raghu sir is summoning her. She mentally prepared herself for another round of questioning, he is surely going to blast her for many things she didnt tell him. all came down crashing on her and everyone unexpectantly, and when she should have been here to clarify and clear mess, she ran away like she always did.
"Sir." she called out, as Raghu sir's back was facing her. he turned around, his eyes running on her before he walked toward her, keeping his palm on her head. that she was surprised would be understatement, she cant remember if he ever showed any affection like this, through actions.
"How you holding up?" He asked softly, and she mentally made another note, Raghu sir never, ever used that tone with her. She took a moment to answer.
"I am. . .trying?" she let the question mark hanging. he sighed and removed his palm from her head, taking a step back.
"I know, its all is very hard for you, the . . ." he paused, choosing his words carefully, "the unfortunate turn of events, and now this bloody investigation!" he looked agitated for a while, but his face soften instantly as he looked at her, "all will be fine. we all are with you."
"Officer Shah," her voice choked little and she coughed to clear it all, but still the aching didnt quite go, "he asked. . . no, accused me, that i was helping D. . . Him." she stopped herself to say aloud that curse of a name. she felt her mind drifting back to something but she quickly shook herself to reality, "Do you believe him?"
"Of course not." He didnt waste a minute to answer, "You cant do anything wrong, Kid, I have seen my fair share of bad people. You clearly dont fit."
She nodded quietly, at least she was not a let down for her mentor. she heard his breathing coming out quickly and looked up, meeting his slightly angry face.
"Officer Shah has a good name when it comes to interrogations. He strips down every wall of the suspect and keep pushing until the suspect confess. His ways of working are. . . can be disturbing for you." His eyes were cold.
"I dont think anything can be disturbing for me anymore." she mumbled quietly to herself, but still he heard her.
they both talked for a while, he asked about her father, informed about her rejoining in ETF but as her interrogation is going on, she is restricted to go field or encounter scenes. She took her leave, expecting to see the crowd vanish but they were still there, expecting her.
"Ready to join us?" Asked Shree with a small smile on his face. She looked at him, but then Rathore explained.
"We have a new case."
"I cant go to field. . . so, i will see you guys in Office?" She asked. everyone frowned but didnt ask more. Rawte asked through his eyes but she shrugged and watched as her whole team left for the crime scene.
When she reached ETF, her feet paused for a while infront of the glassy big door. she remembered the first time she came here, curious and yet deep down, nervous. Months later, the same feeling is there, and lots of questions. Can she do this? Can she face the curious and possibly, accusing eyes of the people with whom she worked this closely few days back? Is it even worth it, after all, the reason she was here, it had come to an end, what is the point of continuing?
She didnt get the answers, but jerked into reality as someone else opened the door for her. she looked at the person, and found its the assistant of Shree in IT department. he was smiling down at her.
"Welcome back ma'am." he gestured to enter inside. her feet did so, and then nearly jumped as the sounds of clapping echoed in her ear. she looked around, and saw whole office was standing on its feet and clapping for her, someone started hooting and it followed across the room. as the claps died down, people hurriedly came toward her, shaking hands, telling welcome back, giving proud and awed looks. Even the chaiwala welcomed her back, saying he will soon bring her "Bina doodh wala coffee."
So people still trusted her, even if she dont trust herself and others now. what a twist of fate!
She excused herself and went to the discussion room, sitting on the seat she used to occupied. She noticed the pen stand infront of her and picked up one pencil, twirling it around her fingers much like she had noticed Arjun to do. It surprisingly didnt fell, she practiced this for years but never managed to do it properly like he always do, but today it was perfect. she leaned back and continued to twirl the pencil, staring into somewhere.
thats how Rawte found her after 2 hours, sitting in her usual chair and twirling pen as she zoned out, the coffee which was now nearly freezing thanks to AC temparature and more bitter than ever. He clenched his fist, then exhaled a breath as he relaxed, before walking toward her.
"I didnt know you can do it." His words snapped her into reality. the pencil stopped moving in her fingers and she looked at it.
"I didnt know i can do it." she said quietly, more like to herself. her eyes finally met him, like she noticed him now, "you are back."
he nodded, his eyes now on her hand. today she was wearing a leather half glove like thing in one of the palm which covered her palm properly but let the fingers free. he frowned, not remembering if he had seen her wearing anything like that, ever.
"I didnt know you own something like this." He commented and she followed his eyes, tensing up as she noticed that he had noticed her glove. she wore it today to cover her injury, even managed to get rid of shattered glass in her room and hopefully, new mirror will be in her room before they get back to hotel. she was not hoping to look herself in it, or to punch it either.
"Its old." she shrugged, and regretted. bad lie.
''Doesnt look like though." he commented.
"where are others?" she changed the course of conversation, which finally worked. he crossed his shoulder and straighten himself before answering.
"Rest of the team are in interrogation room, want to come?"
"Am i allowed to?" she wondered. he gave her a warm look.
"only if you want."
Her every good mood vanished as she reached interrogation room along with Arjun. she heard her team mates whispering about something like 'Media interruption in crime scene'. Arjun had filled her about the case, a lonely woman was found murdered in her apartment and now they were interrogating the neighbour who was the first person in crime scene. this was no high profile case, so it was no rocket science for whom media came to the scene and, of course, they were severally disappointed. they stopped talking once they noticed her, and all focussed more on interrogation.
to her dismay, even the neighbour looked at her several time, first shocked, and then in a strange way. he, of course, was familiar with her through the news paper front pages who dissected her life everyday and provided how she is suddenly a suspect who has links to the Devil Sikandar. she felt first strange, then irritated. after the interrogation ended, the guy gave her a long look before leaving, and suddenly it dawned upon her - everyone except the people around her will look at her like this. Her own office and the people who have known her since forever might have believed her, her friends might stand beside her, but once she is outside this bubble, she will get these strange looks and whispers everywhere she goes. She have to get used to all these, but she was not sure if she can. after all, she was never good in confronting problems, unless its the worst case scenerio, something like seeing your friend at gun point might count.
at the discussion table, her team filled in her about the whole case, pictures were put on the board, suspects and motive were written on it, theories were being discussed and dismissed. all felt familiar, and surprisingly, she felt good. its like she was never gone, all was just the same like it used to be. Liza went to see how her team doing on her body, Rathore sent Rawte- Riya to a biker's hang out place, where victim's ex husband often hang out in hope to get him, Shree went to his computers to get out call records and rest of the team followed him.
"The stunts looks so easy." Arjun commented as they noticed a couple of bikers doing stunt, balancing the amazing looking superbikes on one wheel as some girls cheered for them from a distance. they both were observing the guys keenly, their eyes searching the ex husband.
"They are not. You need an exact amount of torque to balance the whole bike's and your weight on the back wheel, while leaning forward slightly so that the bike dont fell down. it also depends on practice." Riya provided informtation, to which he looked both impressed and amused.
she noticed him staring at her, and she looked away, shrugging, "I read a lot." she replied in a bored voice, still searching for the guy. he stared at her for a while, then his eyes again fell on her leather glove.
"These belongs to your Father?" he wondered, to which she sighed in frustration, turning toward him.
"Arjun. . ." she closed her eyes, silently telling him to stop.
In the drive too, he commented if the glove belong to her brother, she is wearing in his memory. he might have thought its the hardest phase of her life and she needed something to support her. she broke his bubble, saying her brother was in his teens and not interested in bikes.
"I think i got our man." He said even before she said something else, and the next moment both walked toward the man in his early 40s, victim's ex husband. after they cross checked his alibi, they let him and go walked back toward the SUV.
"I think its something else." Arjun said to himself as Riya merely touched her side of door on SUV. she frowned.
"What?"
"That." his eyes, again, went to her hand. Now she was totally pissed.
"Give it a rest, okay? It dont belong to any male member of my family, and no, its not new. its old! now, lets get back to work, shall we?" she unlocked the door, but before it can open he was on her side, holding her elbow and turning toward him so that now they are standing face to face.
"Its a ridiculous style statement," he started, looking into her eyes and then her hand as he took it on his own, "and so out of character for you. The price tag is still on it so dont, repeat, again that it is not new but old." he said in slightly raised voice as she opened her mouth to argue.
"Whats the matter with you, even if its new?" she asked, the frustration in her voice evident.
"People wear them if they want to keep their hands warm, or not to leave their fingerprints lying around. Both of the point dont add up here, " his fingers traced hers, explaining it silently and her pulse rate quickened.
"Unless. . . they want to hide something." he gently pulled open the glove and threw it away somewhere, the strange looks in his eyes turning into slight anger as his eyes fell on the big red patched bandage.
"Or to cover something." she finished for him, her eyes not leaving his face.
"I thought the injury was healing," he commented, his eyes still lingering on the bandage making it more uncomfortable for her, also he didnt let her snatch hand, "does'nt look like." he ended, now glaring at her slightly.
"Care to explain?" he asked, now letting her hand go and crossing arms over chest in his usual no-nonsense avatar. she looked away, fisting her palm so that its out of eyes.
"Nothing to explain." she mumbled.
"Really? i thought the cut was inside the palm, not on the back." his voice was clearly angry. he finally had a distance idea how this extra injury added.
nobody talked for a while, she didnt meet his eyes and his eyes never left her face. he finally sighed loudly, and she prayed this topic of conversation ends now.
"Dont do the same mistake what I did, Ri." his voice was soft, surprisingly, and laced with worry. she finally met his eyes, not getting what he is trying to say.
"I did it too. hurting myself. pushing everyone away. refusing help when i really needed them. trust me, it doesnt help." he explained. she stared at him for a while, pondering over his words as he went toward his side of SUV. he opened his door and about to go inside, when her words stopped him in track.
"Are you happy?"
He looked at her, his eyes reflecting some unknown emotion. she turned slightly so that now she was leaning slightly over SUV, looking directly in his face.
"You should be happy, right? finally the man who ruined your life is behind the bars. Are you happy?"
"No." came the smooth reply, to which she frowned.
"Revenge seems worthless now. . . " he opened his mouth to say more, but she understood what he was trying to say as he gave her a silent pleading cum sorry look. that moment, she hated herself slightly more, her best friend cant 'enjoy' the victory as she was there with him, moping around. can she be more pain in the neck for the people around her?
"Lets go." she ended his misery and sat inside SUV. he followed her shortly, and after giving her another look, started the SUV.
after they both came back from interrogation, Arjun met a ready to burst Rathore outside the discussion room, his face red with anger and he was glaring around, as if he would like nothing but tear apart anyone right now. Riya went to join others, and he went to the chief to see whats bothering him.
things were never good or okay between them, at first, they both could not tolerate each other, sarcasm the only language they both understood. they didnt solve cases like team, it was like a competition who can prove wrong others. after ETF officially handled Sikandar's case, they both behaved themselves and the relation somewhat became peaceful, but now, it was neither anger or peace between them. it was somewhat suffocating, awkward, Arjun still didnt confront Rathore about the picture of Roshni and his suspicion (?) about the latter's feeling for his dead wife, and of course, he felt awkward to ask, like Riya had said, what he is supposed to ask, "hey, I was wondering if you love my wife, thank you, will really appreciate your honest answer", also, why does it even matter? why asking the most dreaded question of century and make it more awkward?
He hesitated to say something, but at the same time Rathore turned to him and his face soften, the awkward hesitating expression on his face too. Arjun cleared his throat and initiated the conversation.
"Any problem?"
"That bas***d." Rathore growled, and he knew exactly who is this bas***d.
''lets go to my cabin." Rathore said and walked toward his cabin, Arjun following him. once they were safe within the four walls, he started speaking first.
"That son of a bitch wont open his mouth. Officers are wasting hours behind him and he wont even open his damn mouth!" he paced up and down, the anger coming back.
"we dont need his confession for the court trials, right?'' Arjun asked, trying to push back the anger in the corner and know about the main thing. Rathore shook his head.
"No, we have enough evidence against him. Killing police men, attempted murder of ETF officers, conspiracy to blow off ETF building." He replied, exhaling, "But we need his answers so that we can work more on this case and wipe out the whole gang. If he dont open his mouth, we will be in trouble. His gang is in its most vulnerable phase, if we dont find and end them now, we wont get better chance."
Both men stood in absolute quiet, when they didnt catch the devil Sikandar, they felt once he is under custody all will fell into pieces, now he is behind bars yet they are waiting for his mercy, when he will open his mouth. Arjun felt such a anger for that SOB, he really wanted to go to him and empty the whole gun in his head.
"Also, he has one demand." Rathore said quietly, maybe he was so angry that he was having trouble to talk loudly. Arjun frowned, his jaw hardening.
"He is not in a position to demand."
"Still, he is." He replied, now turning to him, "He is requesting to meet HER everyday! since the time he opened his eyes."
The first reaction was for both men was to curl their fingers in a fist and imagine punching that Sikandar till he die in mind, then they both looked outside where Riya was standing with rest of team, Aisha was telling her something to which she nodded as she took the coffee mug from the Chaiwala. they both felt a familiar protectiveness for their friend, maybe for one the feeling was much more intense.
"She wont go." Arjun spoke with finality.
"And she wont know." Rathore finished. both men's eyes met, a silent decision passed through them, and they both came out of cabin, mixing with the team once again and working on the case.
as the day passed, the team managed to get more leads on the case. they were in middle of a serious discussion where Shree and Aisha were having a argument over the neighbour who is the possible murderer according to Aisha, Shree dismissing it, Rathore looking over them and thinking when it will be safe to interrupt, Chotu looked confused- who to support, Riya sipped what could be her 5th coffee after coming back from interrogation and Arjun frowned at her lack of appetite, when someone's phone rang.
everyone stopped talking at once, and it turned out it was Riya's phone, the culprit who interrupted such a heated argument. Rathore sighed in relief, Shree looked embarrassed and Aisha looked both pissed but apologetic. Riya looked embarrassed as she hide her eyes behind her lashes, but frowned at the unknown number.
"Who's this?" she said instead of hello as she stood up from her seat and took one step toward the door, but stopped right there as the familiar voice rang in her ears.
"Ah, you forgot my voice too soon. . . " he paused, sighing in sadness, "too soon. Was i that easy to forget?"
Normal people would have feel angry, hurt or fear when they will hear the voice of the supposedly best friend who turned out a badass criminal. Normal people would put their brain in overdrive mode and panic, did he escape from jail? Normal people will wonder how a criminal who was supposed to be in high security cell deprived of any visitor can get access to a phone. Normal people, but not Riya Mukherjee. She had enough of tears or hurt over this man, and the anger, it didnt come only hearing his voice over phone. Maybe in her sub conscious mind, she was hoping he will contact. Maybe in her sub conscious mind she was thinking to visit this man, take sadistic pleasure seeing the damage her two bullets did to his body. Right now, her body and mind suddenly become empty, devoid of any emotion or feelings.
"No, you are not." She replied in quiet voice, behind her her team frowned hearing her cold detached voice, "But, whats the fault in trying, eh?"
"Keep trying." Dev aka Sikandar replied in light voice, "and one day you will realise the truth of century. . . you cant forget me."
"Why are you calling me, Dev?" She spoke his name aloud, in reaction everyone behind her stood up from their seat as if electricity passed through them, "or, should i call you with the other name?"
"Na, i love the way you call out my name." He answered in his usual flirt voice, and she can actually hear that smug smile on his face. her fingers tighten around the phone.
"Okay, now i should get back to business," he said, "i dont have much time, you see. the police constable was generous enough to give me 2 minutes time." he paused, exhaling a breath, "I want to meet you."
"Hoping to see my bleeding heart by your betrayal, are you?" She asked in a sarcastic tone, "Didnt know you are the sadist type."
"How much do you even know about me, Riii" he stressed her name, and she felt disgusted the way he took her name, ''btw, which means, by the way, " he chuckled, "whats with the sarcasm? reserved for me only?" but before she can reply something to it, he cut in.
"Dont answer that. just come to see me."
"why should I?" she asked, staring hard into nothing.
"Come on, you dont want to see me suffer? you dont want to feel proud that you put me here? or. . . maybe. . . " he paused for the dramatic effect, "you are still hurting over me and this sarcasm is only limited to phone?"
"whenever you change mind," he said after a short paused from her, "you know where to find me. I am free most of time, in case you wondering," he chuckled, the sighed, "Bye Ri, until we meet."
and the call ended.
how can he be so normal, as if nothing happened. how can he be in so light mood, he is not in a jail for vacation! How he talk to her after everything like they are still friends? What he exactly want to see in her, the cold hatred or the tears of his betrayal? she never understood the way his mind worked, now she didnt understand why he called her and asked her to meet. should she go, or she should not? giving him the pleasure to know he still effect her, or to spare herself the torture to see his face? questions, questions, and there is none who will answer them properly, without the protectiveness for her.
She closed her eyes and sighed, tried to feel normal but ofcourse, it didnt work. she slowly opened her eyes and turned around, and instantly regretted, all were giving her a look between pity and protectiveness, she didnt want any.
"What he said?" Asked Chotu.
"How he got access to phone?" Aisha always asks the right questions.
"Why he called?" Asked Shree, agitation on his face which is so uncharacteristic for the IT head.
"You are not going to meet him." Arjun didnt ask anything but announced the decision. Riya frowned at his reply, looked at Rathore who was saying same through his eyes.
"Can i have a minute alone with the bosses, guys?" She asked to the team, and they all left. once again, the three friends were alone in the room.
"May I know why you didnt say anything about His demand to meet me?" She came straight to point. Arjun opened his mouth but Rathore replied.
"Because none of us want you to meet him."
"That should be my decision, is not it?" she crossed arms over chest, her expression calm. well she had a point, so the chief kept quiet, better know to argue with her after this, but of course, the second in command of ETF was a stubborn person and hated to lose in any debate.
"You are not going to meet him." Arjun repeated once again. Riya's eyes were on him now.
"As i said, that should be my decision."
"As your boss, I am ordering you."
"Really?" she raised her brow, a mocking smile threatening to come out. He slapped his head in mind, such a stupid thing to say.
"Guys." Rathore stopped them both and walked toward her, giving her a patient look.
"It wont be good for the investigation against you if you go and meet with him."
"I am not guilty." She repeated. she was not getting why everyone assuming she will go even before she made her decision, and were giving ridiculous reasonings for it. She saw Rathore sighing in defeat, before meeting her eyes again.
"The officer investigation dont know. the judges dont know. they will see you are meeting with the man whom you 'allegedly' helped with evidences, and the sentence will be against you. proofs work here, not honest confession, you know that too Riya."
"Law is here to protect truth." she argued. before Rathore say anything, Arjun jumped in between, really jumped in between as he stood right in front of her, glaring at her.
"You. wont. go." He emphasised each word, his facial expression violent as if Dev called him and not hers. her lips pursed, but her eyes refused to leave his.
"I didnt make any decision till now, did i?" she murmured quietly. his eyes were suspicious, but that glare was still there. he backed off, and she sighed in relief inwardly.
"Ok guys," Rathore spoke after a while, the tension was too big after a long day of work, "lets call it a day. will meet tomorrow."
2 AM in morning, Ravi lodge, Riya's room
she was not sleeping, her eyes were wide open and staring on the ceiling. its like she was in her own world, away from everything, emotions, circumstances, anything. she liked being there, and hoped she could stay there forever.
but of course, the concept of forever is Bullshit, it dont last forever. hers didnt too, it was exactly 2 in the clock in her room when she heard a sharp knock in door. now, thieves dont knock door and ask permission to steal, right? she knew exactly who it was, and when she opened door, she was not slightest bit of surprised.
"Were you sleeping?" Arjun tried to make his voice apologetic but his urgent eyes betrayed them. she shook her head, letting him in, and after some awkward moments, they best friends found themselves sitting on floor, their back resting on the bed's side.
"I just want. . . " he started speaking, but she cut him off with a sigh and raised hand.
"I didnt decide anything." she replied, and then looking in his eyes with a irritated expression, "why everyone assuming I will go? you are wasting your sleep time over my decision, Sameer giving me weird arguments and He. . . He sounded sure that i will come." she was getting angry, everyone is assuming something about her and she didnt know why or how, when she didnt know what she will do.
"Because we all know you better than yourself." he answered in soft voice.
"Whats is that supposed to mean?"
"You are now confused, thinking if you should confront him or not, you think if you are strong enough to do, then your brain start shouting that you are strong. in the end, you decide to go, but after you meet, you are devastated, cursing your bad decision making."
she continued to look at him with strange eyes.
"You did the same when he was escaping and put me in gunpoint. you were confused, hurt, torn to save me and kill him. your brain started shouting to kill him because it was right, you are strong enough. you did, but you never forgive yourself for it."
"I didnt regret shooting him." her voice was hard, she was now staring at floor.
"didnt you?" he counter questioned. her neck snapped to him, slightly offended that he is also suspecting her intentions.
"Remember you emptied the whole gun on that guy who tried to shoot me when we were taking Monu to court?"
she nodded.
"Its easy to choose right when its wrong on the other side, easy to choose light over darkness. . . but what to choose between two equally bad decisions? which one is worse, the person who dragged you out in normal world turning out a monster and killing him, or letting your friend die by that monster? imagine for a second, your shooting left him dead, would not you curse yourself everytime you think about him? would not you want to go back in time, change things so that he dont turn up dead? wont you regret your decision then?"
she had no answers for that. he took her hand in his, exhaling before saying again.
"Its not wrong to regret, its absolutely fine to overthink, rethink the moment over and over in head. you become tired to thinking same things, what if i did that, what if i did this. . . but eventually, one day, you will realise things were not in your hand, you had to do what your adrenaline and brain said to you. one day, you forgive yourself and make peace with what you did."
"But Ri, what you did, it was situation's demand. we dont get to choose when or by what turn of events to get hurt. people dont want to get hurt, they regret their most of decision makings because those decision hurt them. today, its different with you, you getting a chance to not to hurt yourself and you should take that chance."
she didnt reply to that also. he gave her a long stare, and spoke again.
"You must be thinking you are strong to do it, strong to confront him, strong to not break down and accuse him for everything he did. but trust me, you are not. I am not strong myself to meet him, i fear i might. . . " his voice went quieter, as if he was confessing a dark secret, "torture him, kill him like he did to HER. I fear he will crush me, i always wanted to see regret in his eyes but there is none, i fear his lack of fear for me or this system will make me feel worthless, what I or we did to catch him. i fear once again the nightmare will start, this time his smug smile will mock me in dreams, his voice will yell at me that how nothing made his life hell. I fear finally i will realise that nothing bore any fruits, he made my life hell but i didnt, and i was a failure all along."
"I dont want you to go through this." His voice was far more compassionate than she had ever hear, his eyes begging to her to understand, "Its hell, living hell, I have lived here and i dont want anyone, to go through these ever! I certainly dont want you to go through this, so please, before you take any implusive decision to satisfy your ego, think through, is he worth it?"
she was surprised to hear his words. is this The Arjun Rawte, ACP and second in command of ETF, whom everyone fear? she never ever thought she will hear these from his mouth, that he is scared of anything. sitting beside him and hearing his insecurities, fear, it felt wrong, its like she overstepped on his secrets which he will never share with anyone. she looked away, his intense eyes making things more uncomfortable. suddenly the room felt small and lacked enough air for her to breath.
"You dont think I am strong enough?" she simply asked, it was not a accusation. his thumb started making circle on the back of her hand.
"Tragedies have two kind of effects, it either make you miserable for the rest of your life or make you so called 'strong'. you and me has our fair share of tragedies, and we both know, we wont call ourself strong. our harsh voice or glare is the just the protection, once someone invade those, we are vulnerable and exposed. thats why we keep people at arms length, dont we?"
"I was wrong to make decision for you." his words made her to look into his eyes, "i should have informed about it to you, before the call came. I was way too protective, i guess i wanted more to protect myself than you."
her confused eyes make him sigh once more.
"the first time i saw you after i kept my foot in that park, you were sitting on a swing, staring into nothing. your whole aura, it was so depressing and sad, and when you looked at me, your eyes were so empty, as if someone sucked the life out of you." his voice was suddenly sad, and she felt her throat drying hearing her description from him, "when you talked, your voice trembled, you searched for words, choosing words carefully because you didnt know what to feel about everything. you were so quiet, often you used to stare away into nothing when i continued to talk. it was like you felt nothing, and i dreaded that i am a big part behind your state. i made it all about me from the very beginning, my revenge, my mission, my wife, my sorry state, my anger, my frustration. . . and now, i made once again about me, i didnt want you to go because i dont want to see you back to that state, i made decision for you because i feel you will go on the same way like me, self destruction, and it will hurt me, i dont want to see your pain because your tears make me feel guilty." he stopped, looking away as he catch his breath.
"Any decision you take, please think it through." he said after clearing his throat, trying to compose himself as he felt her gaze on him, "I will stand by whatever you do, and once again, i apologize for the outburst in office. It wont happen again."
he pulled her close to him, crashing her body to his and burying her face in his chest, as his fingers found her neck. he kept his chin on her head, other hand resting on her back as he hugged her tight, like silently protecting her from the demon inside her and outside.
4 hours later, when Arjun opened his eyes, he found himself on floor, his head resting against the bed's side. he frowned for a while as eyes linger around, trying to adjust itself to the different room, then he remembered, last night, his big heavy confessions. he was about to think if he should regret what he said, when he noticed Riya coming out of bathroom, fully dressed, tieing the fresh bandage around her injury. he quickly got up, stratling her as he took over the task.
"You are awake.''
"Is there a crime scene?" he asked as he wrapped the bandage properly. he heard her exhaling and had a feeling that he is not going to like what he will hear.
"No. we are going somewhere else." she said, and before she can say more his fingers stopped doing what they were doing and eyes bore holes into hers.
"No, we are not." he was again using his decision making tone, but composed himself quickly, "I meant i am not going, and will advice you not to."
"you already know where i am telling you to come, dont you?" her lips curled into a sad smile, "i am that much predictable?"
"Ri. . " he stressed her name, but she stopped him, taking his hand into hers as she patiently tried to explain.
"Last night, what you said. . . it was unexpected. i never ever thought i will hear them from you. . . " she could not contain her surprise as he looked into her eyes, "i always admired how you. . handled yourself, so strong and detached from emotion. turned out we all have our weaknesses, eh?"
he didnt say anything. she sighed, patting his hand as she spoke, "by some twisted way, today both of our reasons of getting hurt is same, the same man. turned out, you all were right about me, wanting to meet him, but not because i want to show him how capable i am to stay strong, or satisfy my ego. I want to meet him because. . . i am done running away. I dont want to run away from anything. i may break down, i may not. . . but i want to confront him. i want to get it done, once for all. i dont want to spend rest of my life thinking what if i had gone, because life is too short to leave it on 'what ifs'. "
Central Jail, Thane, Mumbai, 9 AM
Dev Patel stared hard at the chessboard in front of him, thinking about the next move of his black rook. He was playing from both sides, and he wanted to win from both sides. it was like a battle with his own, and he wanted to know who will win. he didnt seem to realise in either way, he will win, for him 'defeat' 'lose' meant more than winning anything.
he turned the board so that now he was playing for the black, he frowned as a quite difficult situation arouse on the board, he have to protect his queen from the white rook. he kept two fingers on his lips, enjoying the moment, when he heard the cell door of his was opening. a familiar fragnance of perfume filled the air and he smiled, like mr know it all.
"My charm still works for you." he said, still not looking at the person, "glad to know."
Riya sat on the bed beside the chess baord, now it appeared as if two people are playing chess and she was the white. he quickly put the knight ahead to save his queen and she moved the white bishop, eliminating the black knight.
"Whats the fun in playing alone?" she commented, and finally Dev looked at her. his scrutinising eyes ran all over her and she stared back in his face calmly.
"searching for battle scars?"
"You wound me!" he put his hand over heart, faking a heart attack, "and here i thought you are moping around in house and crying over my betrayal."
her eyes tighten hearing his words, but she kept on her normal face, "i did."
he gave her a curious look, a small smile lurking in the corner of his lips.
"I cried over your betrayal. it was unexpected, a warning would have been nice."
"Come on!" he gave her a DUH look, "its not my fault you could not see the clue beforehand."
"true." she said softly, "i was a fool."
"nope, not that much." His eyes ran over her face once again as she frowned, "for a second there, i really thought you will let me go. . . but you didnt." he sounded surprised as he stared on the floor, then in a sec he was again looking at her, "i guess academy cop friends are more important than the doctor you helped?"
"The colleagues are important than a criminal anyday." she glared at him.
"You wound me. . . again!" he again faked heart attack, then rolled his eyes.
its like two friends are meeting after days and bickering. she still could not believe he can be this much normal after everything happened. she still didnt know why he called her, but didnt ask as she tried to figure him out in head. he was again lost in thought as he thought about his next move, staring at the chessboard.
"You know why i let you take the white?" he said, more like to himself and she frowned in reply, not getting where this conversation is heading.
"No matter how much you try, that white ship will sink, and i dont want to be a part of a sinking ship."
"What do you want then?" she asked, as he finally moved his pawn, "you cant always win, you know."
"I know." he answered with a smug smile, "like for example, me, in a call, with high figh security. . this is not exactly a win win situation, right? if i win, i would not be here."
"I cant escape from here. . which is, too tacky." he made a face and she narrowed her eyes, "but but, you know what i can do?"
he paused for the dramatic effect, and then said, "i can make sure the white ship sink and never get up again."
"I will take it as a metaphor of you helping the police to spill all infos." she said in sure voice, her eyes still narrowed. he shrugged, rolling his eyes.
"You police people you know! always one track mind like a programmed robot!" he exclaimed, straightening his back, "dont you want to have adventure? dont you want to know the next climax of this story? dont you want to know the. . ." he paused yet again as she got impatient with his riddles, "the mastermind behind it all?"
"The mastermind?"
"Of course!" he exclaimed once again, his eyes shining like a kid who discuss his favorite game with another person, "dont you want to know about Sikandar?"
"You are sikandar." she said quietly, her heartbeat rising. he exhaled sharply.
"My dear, I am not."
she gaped at him, stunned. she was not sure what she is hearing. is he trying to mislead her?
"You said you are. . ."
"I can say i am the PM of china, will you believe me?" he raised his voice, trying to put some more strength into his words to make it believable, "I can say whoever the hell i am, will you believe?"
"People know about PM of china." he continued, seeming to enjoy the stunned expression on her face as he smirked, "they will google him and BOOM! all details with pictures. wish, in case of Sikandar you could do it too." he made a sad face.
"You are not. . .?" Riya could not hide the stunned expression. he shook his head like a child.
"Nope."
"You didnt. . . kill. . . Arjun's. . .?"
before she can finish he cut in, "Did i deny about killing his wife? btw, she was cute, i was sad to kill her." he sighed yet again. she was too stunned to take offence of it.
"The problem of you police wale is, " Dev continued, now getting off the bed and pacing on the small cell, "you catch one person and try to put it all on his head. . ."
"We didnt put everything on you!" Riya thundered, standing on her feet, "you did those all! you tried to kill us all, you killed those policemen, you said you are sikandar!"
"thanks for the visit of down the memory lane." Dev stopped pacing and gave her a bored look, narrowing eyes, "i was here, i did them all, now let me finish."
"You people see the underworld like a house of bee, you take out the queen bee aka the boss and the whole gang will finish. its not like that, it doesnt work like that! it depends totally on branding."
"the idea of sikandar. . . its not about a person. its a brand, whom people fear enough to shut their mouth, worship so that it can do all their work. the name is everything, not the person. when you hear the name, a shiver run down the spine, which has nothing to do with the person, its all the hype."
"And you are the. . . Boss of this brand?" Riya didnt know if she should laugh it off or become confused hearing it all. he exhaled sharply.
"Nope. I was one of pillar, but not enough to bring down the whole empire. its like a hierarchy, a group of directors who work for the CEO."
"and who is this 'Sikandar'? your boss, the ultimate head, CEO?" She asked, taking a step toward him. he stared at her for a while, then smirked.
"I said you so much, now its turn of you to find out yourself, is not it?"
"Tell me who is this person?" she repeated the question. he zipped his mouth with an invisible zipped and threw away the key, and then smirked again. she glared, but didnt press more, she needed time to think it all.
"Why you are telling me all these?" she asked the most obvious question. he now chuckled loudly.
"i wanted to see you. see how you holding up. see how deep i went inside you. at first you appeared fine, but i know you better than yourself, RIII" he stressed her name once again, now walking toward her, "you said you cried over my betrayal, but its not correct, is it? you might have stopped crying but you are still hurting over me. you regretted your decision to shoot me, wow!" he started to laugh, taking pleasure as he figured her out, "tell me, did it crush you thinking you killed me? did you feel confused, did a 'should i hate him, should i not?' like those idiot lover boys do for their GFs? "
"I heard your darling department suspecting you that you helped me in this case? amazing, is not it, the payment you getting for shooting me." he said sarcastically and she stared at him calmly, "well, they wont get any evidence that you did, but who knows, those meetings outside, in your house, what evidence you gave me. . . ofcourse, i wont say anything, who will believe a criminal after all?" he sighed sadly, then flashing his eyes mockingly.
"Now think, you say to your department what you said about me, they will think either you gone mad, or you just trying to mislead the department to save me and yourself. more suspicion, possibly suspension. . maybe you will get the next cell to me!" he sounded excited at the prospect.
"And like this, the white ship sank." his face went mad with fury, "I never, ever forgive them who hurt me, physically and financially."
the next movement in the room, none of the anticipated it. one second he was towering over her, and she was staring at him calmly, and the next second she was clutching his throat tightly, pushing him against wall with a violent expression on her face. Dev didnt even defend him, but laughed.
"This will definately count as a sign of insanity." he said, and then lowered his voice to say something. she was concentrating on his eyes and face, trying to see if any of her action caused him any pain when she didnt find any, she put all her strength to press his throat more.
"In both way, I will win." and he winked. she narrowed her eyes, breathing heavily and at the same time someone pulled her away from his. she didnt want to let him go, determined to make him hurt, determined to wipe off that irritating smirk which was driving her crazy now. it felt inhumanly important for her to just put a hurt expression in his face, in this very moment she felt its the only thing which mattered in world. she concentrated more on hurting him, but whoever was pulling her from behind, he was strong. her concentration divided and now she realised, it was not one person but 4 were pulling her away from him, she now saw clearly, one of them kept their hand on hers as he tried to remove her fingers from his throat. she felt more hands on her shoulder and wrist.
"Let him go." she even heard someone whispering in her ear. it was really getting annoying, all she wanted to hurt this man and others are not letting her, shouldnt they all hate this criminal? why all being so touchy and stopping her from doing so?
in the end, 4 person's strength won over hers and someone finally was able to remove her fingers from Dev's throat. that sneaky bas***d was now doing drama, clutching his throat, coughing horribly, complaining how she lost her mind and almost killed him. when none saw him properly, he winked at her, telling its all drama, he was enjoying all these. it made her blood boil, she again almost lunged at him, but then suddenly she felt a strong pair of arms sneaking around her waist. her feets were not on ground anymore, whoever put his arms around her made her turn, and before she can even shout at the man for doing this to her or give Dev another murderous look, he was dragging her away from the cell.
all she could think was that SOB's sneaky smirk and those mocking smile. she wished she had strength like Chotu, he would have been dead before those guards turned up. she prepared to yell at the man who dragged her away from the cell, when the man stopped walking and nearly pinned her into a wall, his both hands still on her waist and his frame was pressing her body onto the wall. she felt his hot quick breath on her face and looked up, when she met those familiar black eyes again.
she didnt understand why Arjun, of all person, dragged her away from the cell. didnt he say last night that he fear to see that mocking smile on that bas***d's face? she was trying to wipe that off, she was in a way removing his fears! it made no sense to her, and when she noticed his intense eyes on hers, she struggled against him, again trying to go back to that cell and finish the work.
"Stop. Just stop!" his fingers around her wrists, pushing her to the wall more. he didnt say another word, their breathings and loud heartbeats were the only thing that was audible in the air. she struggled for a while against him but he just hold himself, and then she stopped, giving up. her breathing were now slow and deep and she removed her eyes from his, staring hard in the floor. involuntery, he leaned more on her, their foreheads almost touching now. he freed her wrists and they slowly fall back on the sides, his fingers all the way from her shoulder, to throat, finally reaching her jaw as he cupped her face, forcing her to meet his eyes, but she didnt, too stubborn to let him in. his sighed in a exhausted manner, his one hand now leaving her face while the other found its way toward the back of her ear, the fingers caressing the skin. to her frustration, it started to calm her down when she wanted the anger of the whole world in herself. she closed her eyes, hating that her heart and mind was not agreeing, and took a deep breath, before breaking free from his spell, storming off to somewhere away to calm herself. he stared as she vanished out of his sight, his fingers curling into a ball and eyes filling with unshed tears of pain, then he punched on the wall, even the pain was not enough to let him forget everything momentarily.
when after several minutes later he came out, she was nowhere to be found. he frowned getting worry and called her, but she cut it. again fisting his palm, he walked toward his SUV and started driving for ETF, trying very hard to focus on road but his mind keep drifting back to the cell.
he did come with her here, of course, he would not let her go alone, but he didnt go and meet HIM. he was not sure he was capable of facing the demon. he was just waiting in the corner, with the guards as she went inside, putting up a mask on her face which reminded him of himself. it scared him, the more he dreaded that she will end up being exactly like him in his reckless i-care-a-damn days, the more she transformed. nowadays her every action is working like mirror for him, he could see what she was doing, not letting anyone know what she is upto, what she is thinking, becoming distant to everything and everyone, putting up a mask on face to show nothing affect her anymore.
the final nail in the coffin was THAT in the cell. he was outside with rest of guards, anxiously waiting for her to come out. he wanted, really wanted to go himself to check on her but he just didnt have enough courage. now he was regretting it, he should have go with her, if he was there, atleast she would not be the one choking that asshole to death against wall. he, like everyone, heard a sound coming from cell and everyone of them walked, first hurriedly, then running. he was dreading of what he will see inside, and the scene was exactly he had imagine, the worst possible scenerio, she was pushing HIM against wall and he was smirking, as if nothing in the world can affect him, hurt him, break him. he didnt know which was much more worse, that 4 men were not enough to pull her from him, or that the person who made both of their lives hell was still smirking, though he was in jail and he had lost everything.
he was rooted in his track, watching the scene unfold. for a moment he prayed to God that atleast let him feel any pain, let him show the pain so that she could see it. she was so hell bent to hurt him, maybe if she see a little bit of pain maybe she will back off, but nothing sort of that happened, he continued to mock and she continued to test her muscles. he could not watch anymore, he ran to her, whispered in her ear, almost begging to stop this madness but she didnt. he didnt notice what the hell was that jerk was saying, it was all in blur as his all senses were fixed on her. when once again she attempted to lunge on HIM, he used all his strength and dragged her out of the cell, for the sake of her well being and his own sanity.
when she struggled against him, he was half heartedly blocking her. one part of his mind was still in shock, worried and scared that his best friend, who in recent times had come too much close to him, had turned into a version of his, other part of brain was saying how much trouble she will be after this incident. he was now cursing himself to let her come, maybe it would have been better if he fought with her and forced her not to come here. she continued to struggle and it pained him, frustrated him that he was trying to keep her away from the demons inside her yet she was trying to go back to the demons. it was even more uncomfortable when she stopped struggling, he could feel she was shutting herself and there was nothing he could do. he wanted her to look into his eyes but she didnt, and then she walked away.
her walking away from him flashed infront of his eyes and he again tried to call her, but in vain, exhaling a sigh of frustration, he realised that he had stopped the SUV, his sub conscious mind helped him to reach ETF without any scratch.
it was no surprise that Rathore already knew what happened in jail before he kept his foot in ETF premises. he looked both angry and worried, he blasted Arjun for taking her to jail, asked about how she is doing, bombard with questions. he was not interested to answer any, he needed time to let the feeling sink in, his best friend had become a version of his, a much more intense and mysterious version.
but one of Rathore's question made him think, what exactly HE said to Ri that she had his throat in between her palm? he felt stupid to not think about this before, the most obvious question of all! what started that? what he can possibly say that she became so agitated?
he felt the need to call her and once again, she cut his call. the numbness was wearing off slowly, he was now feeling angry on her. dont the girl get it that he is worried for her?
there are no ending of the monsters. we can fight off the outside ones, but what about ourselves?
When Rawte was busy to recover from the shock, the culprit in question Riya was walking down the beach, trying to cool off the mad rage that took all her control and flushed them back in Central Jail not an hour ago. the wind of the ocean and the view didnt help much, she put her arms around her as she stared at the water, seeing family and tourists enjoying the beach on a fine day.
after a while, she pushed away the anger in the back of mind and thought about HIS words. the anger wont ever go, and now she realised what that anger was about, its not because he showed her a possible future of hers in jail, next cell beside him as he put it. she tried to appear as unpredictable, tried to prove everyone's assumption about her was wrong but it was not the case, everyone thought she will go and she did, tried to justify her action by a bullshit thoery about confronting HIM. when she did confront him, he said one words or two and she lost her mind, she had his throat in between her freaking fingers! she wanted to bang her head now as she saw the whole scenerio from a third person's POV, an officer who nearly killed a high profile criminal, adding more spice on it she is 'allegedly' involved with him in a recent case. what a great headline that will make it, eh?
she rubbed her eyes and forehead and made a smug face, still staring into the ocean. then she shook her head, switched off the part of brain which was yelling at her with words like 'MORON' and 'IDIOT!", and instantly frowned. he didnt only say those words, he also said some other stuff, one of which made her heart stop for a while. he said he is not Sikandar? what the hell is that supposed to mean? how can he just turn 180 degree from what he projected earlier?
he is just playing with you, nothing else. he turned on his words because he is a criminal! came the reply of mind who approved nothing what she did from a . . . well a very long time. she narrowed her eyes, not paying heed to the voice of brain and repeated his words over and over in her mind.
"dont you want to know about Sikandar?"
"My dear, I am not."
"the idea of sikandar. . . its not about a person. its a brand, whom people fear enough to shut their mouth, worship so that it can do all their work. the name is everything, not the person. when you hear the name, a shiver run down the spine, which has nothing to do with the person, its all the hype."
but then remembered the thing he said later. . . about not forgiving the person who hurt him and sinking white ship. the example of white ship was significant, he was right, in any way the ship aka she will sink. earlier, it used to be the battle of heart vs mind, but its now mind vs mind. one part of her brain saying not to fall in his trap, again, while other part is saying to see the hidden meaning behind his words. but who knows, he called her just to toy with her, in which he was successful, she thought sarcastically. she is in possible threat of suspension, her mind is torn and she is actually rethinking the person's words who messed her life up.
she ran her fingers through hair, feeling tired than anything. the trip to jail was mistake, like Arjun had predicted! as if the earlier feeling of confusion and miserable was not enough, she now feeling low than ever. she wished there was someone who instructed her to do things, her system is not reliable anymore, it does mistakes now.
the phone in her jacket vibrated and she groaned, she cant stay in this beach forever and the idea of forever is bullshit. real world is waiting outside, the suspension letter is waiting for her, so does the lectures from her darling friends. oh, how she could forget the looks of pity and disappointment? she must have created some records now in that department, she thought sarcastically and turned to go, when she noticed some people are giving her weird looks and whispering to themselves, no doubt recognising the new celebrity in headlines. she looked away, in mind thinking tomorrow she will be a little bit more popular than today when the new headlines will make place in papers.
she walked away from the beach and, with no enthusiasm on her part, headed for ETF. it felt a duty, she did the mistake and it felt moral responsibility to face the punishment. for a moment she felt relived, at least there was some humanity left inside her, she had really thought all those had flushed away in jail this morning. when she entered office, it was already afternoon, people were going towards cafeteria for lunch and only stopped when they noticed her. she looked away, not want to see either pity or fear in them. she noticed her boss cum friends, (if only they are interested to be friends with a psycho) in their cabins, they had already noticed her entering and both of them was now walking toward her, one is concerned and somewhat skeptic while the other, as she predicted, angry and disappointed.
"My cabin. now." Rathore ordered and all of them walked to his cabin. once they were inside, she exhaled a breath and prepared herself for whatever that will come.
"Why did you go?"
"Are you ok?"
her eyes went back and forth to both of their faces and she kept quiet. Rathore's stern glare somewhat soften.
"I told you not to go. Sometime, you really should listen to rest of us when we are all agreeing on same thing, it would have saved you a lot of trouble."
she still didnt save. both the men waited for her to say something, even if a ridiculous statement to defend herself, but she didnt say a word.
"You are not allowed to visit him anymore." Arjun said, his eyes were concerned for her. well, that didnt come as a surprise, she thought and avoided his gaze, to which he exhaled a frustrated breath, looking away.
"So, whats the punishment for suffocating a high profile criminal to death?" she asked, trying to appear strong as she squared her shoulder and looked into Rathore's eyes. the men frowned at her way of speaking, never hearing that tone from he, well in recent times.
"I handled them somehow." Rathore replied. she frowned, but didnt ask any.
"But, as my personal punishment, you will finish paperworks till i say." he finished. she narrowed her eyes and Arjun stiffled a chuckle, knowing how much she hates them like he.
"You are a jerk." She mumbled.
"Hey, i did warn you. now dont put it all on me." Rathore threw his hands in air, defending. he then gave a look to Arjun and he left, not before his concerned eyes lingering on her till he leave.
"How you handled the upper level?" Riya asked after some moment, frowing, "they cant be so easy."
"I said you are stressed and he provoked you." Rathore replied, now crossing his arms and staring, "which reminds me, care to explain why you suddenly decided to kill him? what he said to you."
she looked away, instantly making her mind not to tell him the whole truth. half the world think her as a insane person, she dont want to put a stamp on it.
"He said the inquiry will go against me and i will end up in the celler next to him." that was half truth. Rathore's stare didnt move, but then he uncrossed his arms, a sign he was convinced.
"if you listen to me, it wont happen, i promise." his voice was soft. she looked upto him.
"I said to the higher authority that you are now in a bit of mess, with the inquiry and turn of events." he started talking, his eyes patient as he tried to make her understand, "they realise you are an asset, helping us on the last case and saving our lives. . . they dont want to lose you."
"and?" she asked. he sighed, before speaking again.
"They want you to get back on your feet. they want someone who helps you to go through this tough situation, and wants someone outside the police department to say you are cent percent fit mentally and physically."
"as in?"
"a therapist." he concluded and waited for her to react.
her eye brows were hanging in air, an hysteric laugh bubbling inside her. she looked away, and he mistook it as her upset expression.
"I know it must be hard. . . but i want you to think. i think if you take on a therapist, it will help you with the inquiry too."
she didnt ask him about his ridiculous idea, she didnt want to know how taking on another. . . THAT will help her. she took his leave and came out, staring at the floor as she walked.
"Lunch?" She heard Liza's voice and looked up. the forensic expert was smiling at her, the only person in world who right now not giving her look of pity or disappointment, just being normal. it made her somewhat fine, and she nodded, both ladies heading for cafeteria.
"You not going to ask me about today morning?" she asked skeptically. Liza pressed the elevator's button as she spoke.
"Na, I had enough of whispered gossip about it, too much action for my taste."
Riya laughed, at the thought that how can for a forensic expert who works in ETF its too much action, and then how she put it, no concern or curiosity to know about it all.
"What was Rathore sir saying?" Liza asked as the elevatore came down and both of them walked inside. she pressed the floor button and waited for Riya to reply.
"Giving me ideas that taking on another therapist will make my life easier."
"Will it?" Liza asked, looking at her. Riya looked away, noticing the red numbers which changed everytime the life cross another floor.
"Even if it does," she said quietly, "I wont take. I have enough therapist for a lifetime.''
Next night, Ravi lodge, 11 pm
both the ETF officers returned from the office after a long day, there was a tough case and Riya had paperwork. Arjun really didnt have to stay back but he did, giving a excuse that he need to read about a case file.
he was actually searching for a perfect opportunity to talk to Riya. after yesterday's big infamous start of day he could not talk to him, in office it was impossible thanks to her new paperwork job given by Rathore, and when they both reached lodge she quickly went to her room without another word. he gave her space, and decided to wait when she will be fine, but today he heard she had applied for a new place to stay and she refused a session with a therapist which was for her own benefit. she didnt say anything about that, her silence is killing her.
when she took out her keys and tried to open her door, suddenly the keys were out of Riya's fingers. she groaned, closing her eyes, not really in a mood of confrontation and turned to face him.
"We need to talk." he said in stern voice.
"I am tired." she tried to dismiss. he didnt budge, giving her the same gaze. she tried to take the keys from him but he didnt let her, everytime blocking her.
"Give me the keys. I am tired." she said, slightly out of breath.
"I said we need to talk. you are not going anywhere until we. . ." before he could finish she was attacking him again, trying to snatch the keys. they continued the game for a while, but soon anger took its place in the game and in some mere seconds she found herself pinned on the nearby wall by him, the keys on floor.
"What talk? You lecture that how you were right and i was a fool to go?" she nearly shouted at him pissed with his stubborness. he sighed, giving her time to calm down. when both their's breath were back to normal he backed away, not invading her private space anymore.
"I heard you applied for new house."
she was taken aback at his odd question, "so?"
"You didnt tell me."
"I cant stay here forever. I needed a space."
"Why canr you stay here?" he argued, frowning, "I do."
"i am not you." she said softly, both of their eyes glistning in the darkness. she looked away after a while, gulping down.
"Is that all?"
"I also heard you refused to see a therapist."
"it should not come as a surpirse." she mumbled, her face slightly agitated. he sighed, and took a step toward her, touching her cheek affectionately.
"Its for your own good."
"I dont want another therapist." her voice was determined, "i will be fine, just need some time."
seeing this that she wont budge, he exhaled in defeat, his fingers letting go of her cheek as he leaned back, "okay, but anything you need, just tell me, okay? I am here for you, anytime."
"sure." she nodded, still not meeting his eyes. he picked up her keys and opened her room'd door, after she went inside he handed over her the keys and walked toward his own room. she continued to stare back at him as he unlocked his door and went inside, a weird feeling in her stomach about what she really didnt want to think right now.
the next day, when she reached ETF she noticed officer Shah, the investigative officer who gave her a hard time on the first time, was talking to Aisha. he glared at her across the room, to which she looked away, going toward the coffee machine to get herself one. she had a feeling she will need more caffeine today to function.
Officer Shah looked back to Aisha, a slightly irritated look on her face like him as he opened his mouth to speak, "I am just doing my job, Aisha."
"She is my team mate. can you imagine what a difficult situation that puts me?" she whispered angrily. he looked away, clenching his jaw.
"She is under suspicion. I need to do everything i can so that she speaks the truth!"
"sounds like you already decided she is the culprit." she crossed her arms, glaring at him. he sighed, closing his eyes to make her understand.
"She came here for the very case. She was friends with the criminal Sikandar who was under disguise, she is not even denying it! when you were working on this case, the right hand man Monu keep slipping from your hands each time you tried to catch him. cant you see Aisha, the clues? is this a wild theory to question her actions? Why she was here anyway? why she left soon after the encounter was over?"
"She came because she was friends with Rathore sir and Arjun sir!" Aisha answered, glaring more than ever, "she owed it to them. she didnt know that bas***d who was pretending to be her friend is actually a criminal. besides, i trust her, you know why? because she saved lives of every person who was present of that fateful day in this building. she saved my life, Neeraj, " she spoke with sincerity, "you ask anyone, they will say it. none here believes officer Mukherjee can be involved with that criminal."
"She owed to it the friends with whom she didnt keep any contact after she left academy?" Shah counter argued, "let me do my job, dont assume things beforehand."
"You dont assume things before you find any evidence about it!" Aisha spoke, with a angry expression on her face. both o them coninued to glare at each other.
"and i thought our work wont affect out personal life." he said quietly.
"it wont, unless you are being fair."
"Fair!" he looked shocked, "I am just doing my job."
"Then we should not have any problem." she finished the conversation once for all and left, leaving him feeling miserable. he turned to go, when his eyes fell on Riya, and once again anger filled through his body.
"Officer Mukherjee." he tried to sound normal. Riya, who was just sipping her coffee, gave a quick nod.
"Officer Shah," she started, "having a tour of ETF?"
"something like that."
"It all comes with the interrogation package?" she said sarcastically. he narrowed his eyes, not appreciating her tone.
"You know, when many people defend a specific person too much, chances are that the person has something to hide."
"Didnt get the metaphor, sorry." Riya answered, sipping again. he glared at her and stormed off, not saying another word. Aisha noticed this little interaction and walked upto her, staning beside her.
"What was he saying?"
"He. . . looked pissed and stormed off." Riya shugged, "what he was telling you?"
"Its about your interrogation, just asking how were you during work, how did you help." Aisha lied. the latter nodded, but inside she didnt believe her, it didnt look like questioning, more like a competition of who can give more violent expression without raising voice. both ladies went to their separate paths, Riya went to record room to get some files for her paperwork and Aisha to check on Liza in lab.
while searching for the file, Riya noticed there are some new files on the 'Hunt against Sikandar' case too. her hand went ahead to get those but then paused, thinking for a while, before she took out the files and started turning the pages. her eyes scanned every lines and her nostrils flared slightly, seeing her own name and informations on the page associated with De. . . HIM. tearing away her gaze from those, she looked ahead, when a particularly thing caught her interest.
it was his mobile phone records. she noticed after he came to Mumbai, there were some private number calling him on a daily basis many times. her eyes fell on the date and she remembered, that was the same date when they busted the arms consignment near the sea port. after that raid most of the money was being transferred to middle east, that raid was very significant for the case.
her eyes linger more on the record, so many private numbers, and as they were private there are no digits. who called him so much? she noticed on the day when he attacked ETF and tried to escape the country, the private number called him again. are these all same number or different? was the person calling him one or multiple? who are they? his 'CEO' in middle east or just gang members?
again, so many questions and there are no answers of them. she was sick and tired of these absurd questions which dont come with answers. she closed the file with extra force than necessary and about to put it on its earlier place, when she paused, opened the file again and tore the page from file, before keeping it back. she folded the paper and kept it safely in her pant's pocket, and exited the record room with more information than she intended.
the paperwork took more time than she had thought, her mind keep drifting back to the paper which reminded her of its presence in her pants pocket, thinking about those private numbers. other part of brain said this small piece of paper will bring more trouble. both part of brain crashed several time forcing her to slow down writing down the paperwork. she took several break too, but nothing helped.
she was on her way to the machine to bring the 6th coffee since this morning, when she noticed Shree. the weight of paper felt more, and she made her mind to get some information from the IT head.
"hey." she greeted. Shree turned to her and gave a small smile, frustration written all over his face.
"Whats wrong?" she asked.
"the current case we are working on, I cant track a cell phone." He never likes when he fails in his work. Riya gave him a look.
"You will. You are the IT head of ETF, there is nothing you cant do."
he smiled broadly this time, letting her use the machine. she bit her lip and turned to him with the coffee, taking a sip.
"Can i ask you something?"
"sure." Shree was at once attentive.
"Whats the difference between normal cell numbers and private numbers? what i am trying to ask, " she emphasised as he frowned, "why some numbers appears as numbers but others as private numbers?"
"In some cases its just a setting in the phone." Shree explained, his face serious like it goes everytime he explain about a technical activity, "there is a setting in smartphones, its a privacy setting so that the person you are calling cant see your number."
"in other cases the service provider gives some of its special customers this priviledge. but you have to be really really special. why are you asking anyway?" he inquired.
"Oh you know, those blank callers disturbing sometime. so, " she shifted weight on her other foot as she decided to ask more, "in most cases the SIM card is same, the person is same just the number it shows private number?"
"yep." he nodded, confirming as she nodded slowly, "but in case of private numbers its tricky to track them, you cant see the number and cant find out which service provider the SIM card is, as there are no numbers so GPS."
"Nice way to get away, this private number feature." she murmured quietly. he nodded, sighing.
"I know, technology, sometime it make our life difficult instead of easy, but thats all depends on man.''
after he left, Riya fight an urge to punch on something. another dead end! everything she tried to know it all reach to a dead end, maybe her brain was right, she is chasing nothing and all are evidence of the theory, confirming it. she kept her mug on the counter and sat on the edge of it, pulling her own hair as she felt suddenly tired.
"Bored of paperwork?" A husky voice echoed in her ears and she exhaled, looking up. Arjun stood in front of her, cocking his head slightly, those black eyes looking right into her soul intently.
"I despise paperwork." she replied, straightening, "Boss's timing to use his authority as Boss sucks."
he chuckled, coming to her and sitting beside her on the counter. this normal action felt different to her, she liked it better when he was away from her.
"Lets go to dinner tonight." he offered. she was no doubt, surprised by his offer, and narrowed her eyes.
"What are we celebrating? My paperwork?"
"What about your Birthday?"
her eyes widen slightly, her mouth already open to answer that.
"Today is not my. . . "
"SURPRISE!"
she jumped as 4 different voice shouted near her, all she saw the smiling faces of her team mates and a big cake with a candle on it. she stood up slightly, and suddenly she was the centre of attention, everyone was hugging her, congratulating, Sameer was saying how she is becoming older, the rest of officer stuffs too clapped and congratulated her, and Liza pushed her infront of the cake, thrashing the knife into her palm.
"Make a wish." she whispered to her ear excitedly. Riya looked at her for a second, then looked at the flame and closed her eyes, making the only wish that made sense to her right now.
"Show me a way."
after the cake cutting all team mates filled her with the infos about how they were planning for this small surprise, they wanted to throw party but then decided against it. they called her father and said not to wish her, as a part of surprise. she was, indeed, surprised, that her team was so thoughtful, that they included her father into this, and that she forgot her own bithday. nowadays everything is slipping from her mind, but the things which should not stay in head are making their presence felt each passing second. she stepped away as her team mate engaged themselves in a rub-cake-in-each-others-face competiton, and found Sameer beside her.
"Happy Birthday once again."
"Thanks." she replied, still looking at the team mates, then turning to him, "give me my gift and free me from paperwork."
"Not gonna happen." He replied and walked away, she could swear a smug smile on his face. Arjun walked to her and stood beside, this time she didnt feel the earlier uncomfortable feeling anymore.
"Tried for a small birthday present?" he asked with a amused smile.
"Was worth a shot." she shrugged, and rolled her eyes as he chuckled at her answer.
"What about our dinner then?"
"you know, i am not exactly in a mood to celebrate birthday."
"But I am." he argued, not buzzing off, "I celebrate, you just stand by my side. Now? Dinner?"
"Why you are so . . . " before she can complete, he leaned toward her slightly, making her stop. he didnt invade her privacy, just leaned forward and stared at her, and it all felt. . different, intimate, little uncomfortable. stopping breath type.
"Because i want to spend time with you."
she had no other question or statement to refuse him after his straight answer
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