Season finale

4 years ago

Dass dungi

@Phir_Mohabbat

whatever he said about celebrating birthdays in the afternoon, it didnt happen in night. unfortunately for him a tough case ate up all his plans and around 11, all of them took their leave from ETF office. He found himself roaming aimlessly with Riya on footpath, neither of them uttered a word about why they are not taking SUV and heading for home. they both wondered where they are exactly going, too comfortable in their individual silence. the shops on the streets were slowly closing one by one, she bought two bottles of drinks from a shop which was about to close and they again started their walk, the silent walk toward unknown place.

"Too bad all your plan didnt work out." She started talking, taking a sip from her bottle to which he cocked his head at him, his eyes narrowed.

"Someone is happy at the failure of my plan." he replied, to which she smirked, threwing her eyes up "but this is good too."

"What, walking toward. . . nowhere?" she asked, frowning. he stared ahead, taking sip from his own bottle.

"Happiness depends on the company also." he said aloud, making her breath stop for a while, but she pretended she didnt hear it, looking ahead. he shook his head at her stubbornness, also looking ahead.

after a while, they were now heading for the lodge. the cool breeze soothing them after a big tiring day in office, the lack of noise of traffic giving them the comfortable silence, but seemed like Riya is hating the lack of sound around them, thats why she decided to kick and roll the empty drink bottle on the footpath, the sound echoing too much in the air. Arjun noticed darkness is slowly engulfing them and wondered what happened to the street lights, he turned and noticed one by one, all the stree lights behind them is magically turning off, like a invisible person is doing it. he stopped in his track, seeing the scene unfolding in front of him with awe, not aware that Riya was now little ahead from him.

She stopped rolling the empty bottle and sighed, her hands in the jeans pocket as she gathered a little bit more courage for herself. making the decision, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Tomorrow I am shifting in the new apartment."

He snapped out his dizzy state and turned to her, cocking his head in one side as he speak, "and you are telling me this because. . . ?" he let the question hanging incomplete. she also turned to face him, frowning.

"That night you were shouting at me for not telling you anything, so here it is, the latest update about my life." she was getting irritated. when she dont tell anything, he is mad, when she does he asks why she is telling. infuriating man.

"You are telling me just because i shouted at you once?" he was not satisfied, and she wondered what exactly he wanted to hear from her. there was another question too, does he know what he wants to hear?

"I am telling you so that you dont shout at me next time, and so that you stop worrying about the latest Cop in town who is slowly going insane." 

he straightened his back, and after a while walked toward her and stopped only when its several centimetres gap between him. she involuntary tried to step back but he didnt let her, gripping her elbow securely and pulling her little toward him.

"I am not worrying about a random cop in department. I dont want to know about you because i am worried for you. I am not asking you to share every piece of your daily schedule. I just. . . " he paused, sighing, struggling for words to say exactly what he want, and it was difficult because for the first time he was letting his heart speak and his brain has no idea what the hell these words in his mouth and heart means.

"I just want to be with you. Its not because of worry or to watch over you, you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. I want to be there, in laughter and tears, day and night, in problems and solutions . . . as a friend, maybe something more. . ." he freed her elbow and took her hand instead, entertwining their fingers, "is this so difficult to understand?"

none of them speak after this. he stared at her face, searching for any reaction, happiness, surprise, maybe even anger, curiosity, anything, but she disappointed him. he could not figure out what was going on in that interesting mind of hers behind her black eyes, so he waited, for something, for anything. she looked away from his face and his heart sank, but the next moment he felt his heart fluttering with happiness as she wrapped her free arms around his neck, pulling him close and embracing tightly. he smiled, really smiled for the first time in many years, his arm snaking around her waist and pulling her close as well, squeezing their entertwined fingers in a silent promise.

she could feel his smile in her skin and exhaled slowly, burying her face in the crook of his neck, all of a sudden feeling umcomfortable, out of breath in her own body. he sure as hell didnt want to make her uncomfortable, but she was, not because of his actions or words because of her own. She is in a mess right now, not sure of exactly what she is doing or going to do next. She is lucky that people around her is trusting her, but she constantly letting them down by doing things which she is not supposed to do. She is not sure of anything, her own decisions, what will happen next or how far she will go for the answers, about whom she is not sure she even want to know. Her life is right now in middle of chaos and utter confusion, and he wants to be with her in it. How can she let him, when she is not sure what she is getting herself into? if tomorrow she fell into deeper trouble, she dont want him to bear it also. Dev's words came back to ring in her ears, she is the white ship and in either way its going to sink. if she is going towards the self destruction mode, she dont him to sink with her.

Her mind said she should say something, action speak louder than words, still. . . and the problem was she didnt know what to say, except . . .

"Thank you." 

Due to the recent circumstances in their lives, specially that strangling session in jail followed by her shouting at him and new found sarcastic tone from her mouth, Arjun started to think she is slowly turning into a version of his, but tonight his worries lessen a little bit. Maybe she was right, she is not him, he was wrong to think she is as weak as him who will shut her up from rest of world and refuse anyone's presence in her life. Her embracing him didnt only free him from his anxities, it did something deep inside his heart. he knew even if she refused to let him in, he would have been always there for her, still that she made a gesture to him, it meant a lot. He is getting attached to her intimately and it was not the old friendship, that excuse was dismissed long ago. The way his eyes always lingering on her, worrying about her well being, curiously taking in her every expression, his mind always want to know whats going on in her mind or behind her every action, the way he is nowadays invading her privacy a lot, holding her or just staring at her - suddenly its all about her, it was all there before but at the same time its new in a different way. earlier he never behaved this way, then why now? what is this, his concern, his guilt, or just his alien feelings?

but his relief that she was not turning into him was only short lived. after she shifted into her new apartment, which was a walking distance from ETF, she was slowly increasing her time in ETF, her excuse being the overload of paperwork. but today, when he found her sleeping in discussion room, a file on her lap and her head resting on the head rest, he felt that is not the real issue. groaning, his eyes fell on the coffee which she obviously meant to drink but never got the chance, his mind telling there are somethings you really cant control, its just the way it means to happen. on a lighter note, she is not wearing any poker face expression like him or glaring at everyone.

he exhaled at her sleeping form, crossing arms over chest in disapproval, and like she really heard him she opened her eyes. she frowned at first, then her face flushed in embarassment as her fingers ran through her hair.

"Spending night in office, are we?"

"i was about to head home, I swear." she mumbled quietly, tieing up her hair and stiffling yawn, "was reading this file and didnt realise the time."

he didnt say anything, and surely didnt uncross his arms and let her off hook. she sighed.

"you know, spending night in chair is not that bad."

"i know, " he finally replied, now dragging another chair and sitting right infront of her, "but i prefer bed."

she chuckled, yawning once again, to which he shook his head before picking up the file she was reading, "this is a very old file, where did you get?"

"perks of paperwork." came her reply as she leaned back, "and the case is still going on in court from past 10 years. sometime i wish we could just kill these douchebags, justice served instantly."

"if we start to do so, human rights commission will roast us alive." they both turned and saw the answerer, Rathore standing near the door, "You," he pointed at Riya, "go home and make yourself presentable. Rawte, you come with me."

She gave a mock salute as he left, and raised her eye brows to Arjun as he was leaving chair, "still surnames? Really?"

he didnt reply.

In the presence of four walls around her, a securely locked door and piles of paerwork in front of her, Riya felt it safe to unfold for the 1000th time the piece of paper she had tore away from a file which now rested miles away from ETF. it has been exactly one week since she took it, her intention to find out more about it died down with the conversation with Shree. there was another reason too, she was confused, what to do about this piece of paper? it felt like a betrayal to the people who trusting her, to the man who just days ago said he will be always there for her, beside her. well, it was betrayal when she stole the paper, nevertheless. . . bottom line, she didnt threw away the paper which is bothering her so much. she wanted to do something about these private numbers but didnt know what, or why even she should listen to that douchebag who is rotting right now in jail, who ruined her life in a way that it will be never the same again. again, there was a ocean of confusion and she had no solution for it. 

she curled the paper in between her fingers, making a ball of it, but didnt threw it away. something always held her back, this time the door of her room suddenly opened and the last person who she wanted to see right now, Arjun, entered the room.

"What brings you here?" she tried to hide the nervousness in her voice by feigning surprise, the paper still inside her fist. he stood near the door, leaning against it as his eyes gazed into hers.

"Ever heard something about food? Lunch?"

"Its already. . . What the?" she noticed the time in her watch, its already time for lunch, "didnt notice time at all!"

"seems like now you are really into paperwork." he said sarcastically, to which she narrowed her eyes, "get up, we are having lunch outside."

"what happened to cafe?" she asked as she get up, wearing her jacket. he took a couple of steps toward her, adjusting her jacket's collar, his fingers slightly touching the skin on her collarbone.

"what about new places?"

they sat on the comfortable seats of a restuarent which was near to ETF, a nice and of course, clean place which has good foods. while they were reading the menu, she noticed he looked slightly tensed, and deiced to ask about it as soon as the waiter was out of sight.

"What is it?"

he looked at her, frowning.

"you are with me, in this restaurent, in middle of case, looking. . . different. something is up."

"i cant have lunch with you?" he was amused. she stared at him and he gave up, exhaling a deep breath.

"Me and Rathore had a meeting with. . . " he paused, clenching his fist, "i am not supposed to talk about it."

he continued to give her apologetic look for a while, and she groaned, "I am not asking anything. stop your remorse." 

he looked away from her face in the table, dueling with mind then decided to talk about it.

"Some evidence is missing from the last case we handled." he emphasised on the WE. she frowned, then slowly realisation sink in, her eyes went wide with shock, then understanding.

"a piece of paper. just a piece of paper and. . . " he paused closing his eyes shut, "How the hell only one piece of paper is missing from dozens of files? Its so ridiculous!"

"whats missing?" she asked in a quiet voice almost hesitantly. he sighed once again before answering.

"A page from the call record of Si. . . HIM." 

she felt her pulse quickening and heart ready to burst anytime now. stupid, idiotic, foolish act! what she had thought, it wont come out ever? what if they find out she took out the page from file? it will affect her investigation badly, will make her look worse now. God, what she was thinking before tearing the page anyway? she felt the paper which was ball now in her pant's pocket and almost opened her mouth to speak the truth when the food arrived, halting her confession.

"I am more concerned about it because. . . " he spoke again, the food untouched, "this whole new problem, it will make you look guilty. I feel they are assuming somehow you are behind this, though none of said anything verbally," his face was angrier, and it made her feel worse, "Whats happening? as if one trouble was not enough, its all coming from every side."

"Maybe somehow the paper went missing, " she stared hard at the table cloth, determined to avoid his eyes at any cost, "or someone took it out. . . as an act of impulse. . . stupid reckless. . . idiotic act . . . " she continued to mutter. by now, his gaze on her intensified, first quizzical, then a flash of shock crossed across his face as he realised the underlying meaning of her words.

"Are you trying to say. . . "

"dont say that aloud." she mumbled almost pathitically, too willing to bang her head into something. he looked away, anger, shock, frustration written all over his face.

"I cant believe!" he whispered agitated, "I just cant believe! you realise what will this lead to? You have any idea?"

"I. . . " words got stuck in her throat, suddenly all pressure dropped on her and she could not breath. she knew the consequences of her act, but it was all in the back of her mind. she might have been little dumb even to hope that one missing page will be overlooked. she looked around, gulping a lump in her throat and tried to get back her sanity but it didnt work. her nervousness must have showed on her face, as when he again looked at her face furiously to say something, he stopped, his face softening. all of a sudden she got up and left the restaurent hurriedly, he looked at her retreating back, then to the food and he sighed, paying for the food and following for it, the steaming delicious looking food on table lay forgotten.

he found her walking down the footpath to the opposite direction of ETF. the footpath was filled with people, all of them walking toward same direction and she was following the crowd, he wondered if she has any idea where she is going. he speed up and caught her elbow, effectively stopping her.

"I know i messed up once again, " she started to speak faster in tension even before he said something, "i was not thinking straight. . . i was not thinking anything! i saw the file and was going through pages and then i saw the paper and i just tore it away. i created more trouble. . . " she paused, closing her eyes shut, regret written all over her face and he decided, its not the time to lecture her about law and reckless attitude. he freed her arm and took her hand instead, to which she opened her eyes in surprise.

"Come on, lets grab something."

this time it was not a cozy restaurent with steaming hot food, but hot burger with extra tomato sauce instead. they both stood in a quiet corner of a closed shop, leaning against the wall. he took a bite from it and started to chew, his eyes never leaving her face.

"What you did with the paper?" he asked. she crossed her fingers behind her back, preparing for the lie.

"I threw it away."

he didnt know what answer he was expecting, but this made his anger come back once again. he looked away for a while, trying to be calm, then looked at her again before asking, "why you even took the paper from the file? why opened it, in the first place?"

  she stared hard at the ground as if there was a interesting pattern on it, "i was looking for something else. . . and saw it. at first it was just curiosity, but then i read it."

"why you took the paper?" he repeated, desperate to come up with any excuse of her behavior. she sighed, now meeting his eyes.

"It was a stupid act, okay? i noticed my information in his file, it should not come as a surprise but yet i felt so angry. . . there was call records too, i saw my name on it, i remembered how many time he called me in middle of work and i suddenly realised when we were working in office, making plans to catch him, he was working to save himself and those pathetic gang members of his, he was planning to flew in Middle east, starting new business. the betrayal came back with the full force, and before i knew it i tore the page away."

as soon as she finished her little aggressive speech, she looked away from his eyes back to ground, staring hard. well, that was half the truth, she left out the part where she had felt something about the private numbers and decided to look for it. she again felt bad for lying about the page, the presence of that small paper still in her jeans pocket, but there was excuse for it too. maybe she will sink because of her stupidty and impulsive behavior, but she didnt want anyone else to suffer because of it. its better to know nothing at all and get the shock, then hiding about something which you already know and which is wrong. she squeezed the burger a little bit, not in a mood to eat anything. truth sucks, telling truth sucks more.

she looked up and saw him handing over some tissue paper, his eyes pointing toward her hand, "that thing is to eat, not to squeeze it."

she took it wordlessly, wiping the juices which was now all over her hand and waited for him to speak. he was finished and they started to walk again, she took a small bite from her squeezed burger. after some moments of silence, she asked him, "what now?"

"what what?"

"are you going to tell Sameer or we both have to go?"

he gave her a look which made her feel stupid, "are you crazy? telling him? imagine the reaction."

she imagined it and shuddered, taking another bite, "then?"

"nothing. lets see how it goes."

"what do you mean lets see?"

"you have any better idea?" he stopped walking and gave her a look. she shook her head, and he resumed walking.

"So, lets wait and watch how it all goes."

as if telling one truth and handling the expression of disappointment on her best friend's face was not enough, in the evening when everyone left, she had another confrontation written in her schedule. she was near the coffee machine, zoned out into somewhere when she heard someone calling her name. she snapped out of it and noticed Shree was standing in front of her, with a deadly serious expression.

"Can you come with me for a moment?" he asked, to which she nodded, keeping the mug on counter and followed him toward the desk where he usually sits with his laptop. they both stopped near the desk, and he typed something in his laptop. she looked on as a video appeared on screen and all color drained from her face. it was the CCTV footage of the day in record room when she had tore away the page from THAT infamous case. she felt a mixture of anger and humiliation as the girl in video, co-incidentally herself, put the paper in her jean's pocket and left the room. 

it took another minute to look toward Shree who was looking at Riya now with a curious look, "i noticed this video in the afternoon. i dont think security guards had seen it, or we all would have known by now. why you did that?"

she dueled in her mind, to repeat the things she had said to Arjun or say something else? in the end she took out the paper, the root of all trouble from her jeans pocket which was now in a shape of ball and gave it to him.

"because of this." she said, sighing, "not a good enough excuse i know, but i cant stop thinking about it."

Shree's eyes ran all over the paper, frowning, "private numbers? thats why you were asking me about it that day?"

she nodded, in mind preparing herself for his look of hurt and some well chosen words which will dig deep in her heart, when surprising her he gave her a strange look.

"what you did with this?"

"what do you mean?"

"you obviously wanted to find out about these private numbers, so any luck yet?" he asked, genuinely curious. she was taken aback at his so calm reaction.

"no. i am not sure if i should do something about it."

"its too late to think about it. besides, if you were not intersted to find out about it you would have threw it away." he was now smiling little. he had a point, she was interested but was not sure if she should. maybe its nothing, maybe its something, in her mind she was more afraid that it will turn out something and HE will be proved right. she didnt want that.

"maybe its nothing." she shrugged.

"we cant say anything before examining the evidence, right?" he said, again looking at the paper, "besides, i dont know how these were overlooked during paperwork. i guess the department was too happy with the capturing of Sikandar to examine everything properly."

she continued to look at him, trying to figure out how he is not giving her any accusing looks yet, or saying stuff like betraying trust and disappointing act. he sensed her gaze, taken aback by her gaze.

"what are you staring at?"

"you didnt give me those accusing looks or said anything. why?" she tried to figure him out and came up with nothing. he chuckled.

"maybe because. . . it all looks very fishy though, from a third person's perspective, but we all know you wont do anything wrong. who knows, this small act will leads us to something big?"

she was touched, once again, by the support her team mates is showing on her, and once again felt ashamed to do something impulsive like this, but as he said, its too late to regret anything. she pushed all over her guilt in the back on mind and focused on the task.

"what do you suggest, i do with it? you said its hard to find more about these private numbers and i have no idea what to do with these." she asked, leaning against his desk and looking at him. he looked up, giving her back the paper.

"I said its tough to find, not impossible." he gave her a mischievous look, "but the thing is, i dont think i can help you much. digging more into those digits, thats a completely different subject of hacking which i have very less idea about."

she stared at him, her eyes widen and mouth hanging. he looked embarassed.

"what?"

"something you cant do? really? since when?"

"the subject of ethical hacking is very tricky and vast. i am not a genius to know about it all." he tried to shrug it off, but still she was giving him those looks. he mumbled "stop it" to which she looked away, trying to suppress her astonishment.

"so, you have to approach someone who does these things a lot. . . which also means, someone who hacks a lot. you know what i mean right?" he gave her a look, to which she nodded. someone who hacks a lot, it wont be a normal person now.

"as far as i know, there are very few people who can help us in this matter." he was now typing furiously on his personal laptop, and she leaned toward him to understand anything, "see this." he pushed the laptop toward her and she frowned.

"a website?"

"a forum. to discuss anything about computers. . . softweres hardwares. . . even illegal hacking." he pointed toward a section, "see this person, username WIN-does? he is the best out there, there are some others too but he is best hands down. i have chatted with him several times. . . . " he was going on, but her eyes were fixed on the username only.

"windows has a dash and e in it?"

"its a code." Shree explained, now clicking on the user and there was a profile of the user, where was written 

Its no spelling mistake Folks. When WIN-does something, he does WIN.

"show off." Riya muttered, looking back at him, "so we will chat with this WIN-does over internet?"

"No no!" he laughed, "you can meet him if you want."

her eyes widen once again, and he started to explain, "i was chatting with him once about softwere, and during that, i hacked into his account and tracked his IP address, according to which, i come up with this profile."

he clicked on something and there was a photo of a 30 something guy with good looks. one look at him and she made a face, narrowing her eyes.

"John Fernandez."

"you know him?" he was surprised. she started to rub her eyes, cursing her luck as she speak.

"we go all the way back to. . . past."

why, oh why every person who supposed to help her turn out a jack ass, in this case john ass? oh wait, he used to be a nerdy guy who was always blabbering about gadgets, now he looks good though. . . his uncle used to work in Academy as office clerk and that way he had access to office and computers. the juicy part of their past, he had typed a ridiculous love letter to Roshni and the boys, Arjun and Sameer had nearly beat him, while she cursed his idiotcity to type a letter which was supposed to be about love but it was filled with lines like, "my brain stop working when i look at you, like processor crash with hardware and machine shut down" or "you lit up my life like HD pictures in 1024*840 pixels". after they three 'met' him, she had never seen him in her life, until tonight.

of all the people Shree can come up with, he got HIM only. wah wah fate and destiny, such a @#%&

"where is he right now?" she asked, still rubbing her eyes and curse the extremely bad luck of hers.

"According to the last location. . . hey, he is also in Bangalore. wow!" Shree was practically happy, but all smile vansihed when Riya looked at him with a mixture of exasperation and possibly anger, ready to bang her head into something.

"whats" she raised her voice, getting up from chair as she had enough, "with my city and morons like him? why they all find places to stay only in my city? what the hell is this?"

Shree stiffled a chuckled, a very wise decision at the moment and turned toward laptop again as she continued to pace up and down behind him, trying to absorb this whole ridiculousness of situation.

"you know him? wow thats so cool! can you get his autograph when you meet him?" Shree was so excited about meeting him and it was so contradictory to the state of her mind that she gave him a look, but he was too busy to go on, "get some tips too if you can, okay? how was he when you knew him? was he this much genius then? ok maybe i should shut up now." he suddenly went quiet, embarrassed.

"just give me his details." she said, and instantly he printed it all. she took it and left, not before telling him this.

"autograph, really? he should get your autograph, you are IT head of ETF."

Shree turned beet red after this. he stared at his laptop again, sighing and wishing he was as good as username WIN-does in the forum, when his phone buzzed. he went serious as he picked up the call.

"Yes sir."

"Did you talk to her?"

"yes sir." he adjusted his speck, "she said why she tore away the page. she even showed me the paper."

"she showed. . . wait a minute," the caller paused, "she had the paper?"

"of course, sir."

"are you sure?" the caller was in disbelieve.

"110% sir. i saw the paper myself. she feels there are something about the call record, a private number was repeatedly calling Sik. . HIM," he paused, stopping himself to take the unspeakable name, "she wanted to know about it, but i am not good at that area of hacking so i gave her name of someone else."

"you are not good?" the caller was still in disbelieve. Shree was embarrassed once again, there is a reason the caller and she share close relation, even their reactions are same.

"Thats correct, sir." Shree answered quietly, shrugging off, "i gave her details about a hacker, John Fernandez. she will contact him soon, should i send you details of him as well?"

"the name sounds familar."

"i think she knows him. . . should i send you the details?" he asked again. the caller said yes, and he was already on work, typing away the details and mailing.

"thanks Shree."

"anytime, DIG Dixit, sir." he ended the conversation, again back to his dreamland where he meets the Username WIN-does.

as soon as the caller pressed the end button and turned in his chair, the impatient man with him in the same room started to bomberd him with questions.

"what Shree said? what she is going to do next? why she did it?"

DIG Dixit raise his hand, a sign that he should stop talking now. the ex student of his ACP Rawte did so, now taking the seat infront of his.

"I am more curious to know why you came to me, you could have easily gone to Rathore." Dixit sir kept finger on his chin, trying to understand the curious way his students's minds works. Arjun sighed, preparing himself for answer.

"telling Rathore. . . it didnt feel right. besides," he now looked at him, "even she didnt say anything to him, she confessed to me."

"because you told her about a classified meeting about what, you should not have said anything." Dixit sir counter argued. the latter's lips pressed into a thin line, a distance fear in mind that this conversation will turn on him and sir will give him some scolding next. to his surprise he didnt give any, getting off from his chair and now he was pacing up and down slowly.

"if she wanted, she would have confessed to him." Arjun shrugged as if its no big deal, "maybe it was the situation, maybe it was just her guilt."

Dixit sir shook his mind at his idiocity. sometime he chose to not see something which is so obvious.

"Do you know what I thought, and still think, about the time when she first entered ETF?" he asked out of nowhere, to which Arjun frowned, shaking his head.

"Though Rathore was the one approach her to come back, she came only because of the case, not because of the person who approached her. her preference was only the case."

even the most dumbest person can understand the hint beside Dixit sir's words, so did he. all of a sudden his curiosity about that paper and what Shree said flew out of window, and now he wanted to ask sir more about it. too bad for him, just like Sir said these well chosen words out of nowhere, he went back to the original topic of tonight, disappointing him.

"you said to me she dont have the paper anymore." he stopped pacing, looking at Arjun. he looked little down at the change of conversation but nevertheless snapped out of it.

"she said she threw it away."

"apparently not. she showed it to Shree." Dixit sir was pacing up and down again. the latter was momentarily surprised, but it didnt last long. nowadays her every action evokes surprise in him.

"she lied." he said quietly.

"Indeed."

"how can you be so calm about all these?" Arjun asked the question which was troubling since the very beginning, "when i said about what she did, your reaction was as if you were expecting this from her. were you suspecting her also?"

"Yes, i suspected her also." Dixit sir replied straight, to which he looked somewhat angry, ''but unlike everyone, i am more interested in the reason than her crime. i am trying to understand what she noticed in that paper that we didnt, and she tore it away without thinking anything."

"she said to me she was angry, upset seeing her name so many time on the caller list. it reminded her of HIS betrayal, and before she realised the paper was on her hand." Arjun replied, his voice sad remembering how troubled she looked.

"It may have been half the reason, but not whole." Dixit sir said, hearing it properly, "we all know she is going through trouble, but its unlike her. its not the first time any tragedy striked her, her reaction is different."

The latter looked at him quizzically. he sighed, explaining it.

"She has a tendency to detach herself from the pain and the reason. when her family was affected because of her work, she resigned from her work and became distant to her father. this time, the person who pretended to be her friend betrayed him. she had grown a certain dislike for Therapists, didnt she? she wont take HIS name, she is keeping lot more to herself. the emotional pattern is same, she is not unstable or insane like many are thinking. the pressure is a lot, the blame to help the criminal who ruined her life and the people around her must be taking its toll." he paused, taking a breath, "i also suspect it also have link to the meeting of HIM and Riya in jail."

"that meeting?" Arjun said, "she said he was provoking her about investigation going against her."

"he might have said, but thats not it." Sir replied, "she is keeping many things to herself. maybe, what he said to her, and this page tearing incident, these two are related? he might have gave her some hint, she might have figured out something."

Both men's mind started to run ahead, thinking what that devil had possibly said to her which made her do something like this. there are so many possibilities, but none of them made any sense.

"Shree said she wants to know about some private numbers in the call record of HIS." Dixit sir informed after a while, "he gave her another hacker's details, she obviously will contact him."

"why shree gave another hacker's details?" Arjun didnt get it.

"apparently he is not qualified to do that kind of hacking."

"What?!" Arjun could not believe his ears. Shree, The Shree, he cant do something? no way.

"imagine my shock.'' Dixit sir muttered dryly, shrugging it off, "the hacker's name, it sounds familiar, i feel i even knew him but. . . " he was pissed, not remembering the person behind the name.

"you know, its not fair to Rathore." he said after a while, "doing all these right under his nose. you never listened to him, now Riya and Shree too."

"imagine my irritation when he and Ri were working on the case which i should have handled right from the beginning."

"is this payback?" Dixit sir gave him a look, raising his eye brow. he didnt reply, looking away, to which the former shook his head, sometime these ex students behave so childlike that its amusing.

"so, what should we do?' Arjun asked, sensing his gaze on him, "she will now contact the hacker, will try to know about those private numbers, then?"

"if she is really chasing something on the basis of words that son of a bitch said to her, its better let her do what she wants to do. she will come around once she realise he was lying, whatever he said to her. if there is really another head to the devil, we are here to cut it off and finish everything once for all."

"wont it be better if i try to know what she is upto?"

"if she wanted, she would have said. she already confessed to you a great amount of stuff," Dixit sir looked surprised at it, "there are some things which we keep to ourselves, because of our self consciousness, what others will think about us. we are afraid of others judgement."

"i would have helped her if she said me whole truth, no matter what." Arjun defended himself.

"will you?" Dixit sir raised his eye brow, "maybe you would have, but first you would have lectured her about how she was wrong to do something so reckless, then you would have try to dismiss her doubts without digging into it. as far as i know, she wants to get some solid basis of evidence before she assume something and drag others into it with hers. she did the same with last case."

sir was, is and will always be right, hands down! Arjun knew better to counter argue or defend himself, so he let the matter go, "what you want me to do?"

"just stay in touch with her. but careful, she should not have any doubt."

"yes sir."

Same Night, 9 PM, Riya's apartment.

She touched her phone for the 15th time, and moved away, not able to decide if she should really call this John after all these years for something like this. keeping aside the weird situation of their last meet, maybe he wont remember her, maybe he wont do it. she now felt even more stupid to remove that page from file, maybe its nothing and she just poured the bucket of trouble all on herself.

her eyes fell on the paper which Shree gave her, the details of John on it. so he is in Bangalore, working in some firm part time. again she started to think whats with the city where she grew up and morons like him and Dev to live there. like all metro cities are wiped out in apocalypse, only Bangalore is there to live.

she closed her eyes, thinking for the last time if she should call John or not, not able to decide anything, she muttered, "screw it", picked up her cell and dialed his number, her heart beat rising as the ring went on.

"Whitefield Police station."

she frowned, what the hell? 

"May i speak to John?" she said, trying to sound normal.

"Madam, ye phone wala banda lock up mein hain." the person on the other side replied, his tone somewhat mocking, "lawyer bhejo lawyer, warna ye to jayega jail 10 saal ke liye."

she rubbed her eyes for the thousand time in that evening, so willing to bang her head in wall, "kya kiya usne?"

"kuch hacking saking ki hain. . . aap kya uski item ho?" the constable was now more amused. Riya glared at nothing.

"I am calling from ETF, Mumbai." she replied in a authorative tone. all good humour vanished from the constable's voice, he apologized profoundly, gave her more details about John's case. he was still apologizing when she cut the call, and after that she called his father.

"beta?" her father was surprised. since she had gone back to Mumbai, she hardly calls him, its always him who calls to check on her. she closed her eyes again, taking time before speaking.

"Hey dad. did i disturb you?"

"no, not at all." he smiled a little. she sighed, coming straight to business.

"Dad, can you please go to my room and get a number of a Criminal lawyer Mr. Desai?"

it took him 4 minutes to find out, in this time they both had a awkward conversation where he asked her about everything he can manage and she only replied in 'fine' 'yes' and 'no'. after she got the number, she called the lawyer, who remembered her instantly, and explained the situation to him. Mr Desai had worked with the department during her working time in BLPD and was fond of her.

John Fernandez got the shock of his life when around 11 pm, a constable announced someone bailed him out. he got another shock when the constable who was giving him sarcastic remarks since the morning, looked intimatated by him. he tried to thank the lawyer, but he left after giving him a look.

"Jesus, what is exactly going on." he wondered. he felt the phone vibrating in his pocket and took out, a unknown number flashing.

"hello?"

"enjoying the fresh air?" Riya asked sarcastically, leaning against the window of her apartment and staring outside, "so much better than jail, is not it?"

"oh you lady with a beautiful voice!" John said in a flirty voice, "you sent that grumpy looking lawyer? thank you, now tell how should i pay for it? dinner, or something else?"

"what about you do some hacking for me?"

"as much as i would love to, i dont want to go back to jail." he replied, dismissing the conversation and about to cut the call, when Riya spoke again, this time emphasising each words.

"I am not giving you choice, I am giving you order, Username WIN-does."

John was surprised at the username, "How do you know?"

"I have resources."

"I would love to know about the resource."

"But i would love more to know how to write ridiculous love letter, with lines like, "you lit up my life like HD picture with 1024*840 pixels." she replied, smirking, "remembered something, Fernandez?"

John's mind went blank for a while, then he remembered something. a unbelievable smile came on his lips, after all this years? "Mukherjee?"

"officer Mukherjee for you," she replied, still smirking, "i am impressed, you still remembered me."

"how can i not? i was almost expecting you to beat me like your two other friends did, but you didnt. i owe it to you." he answered, amused, "lets talk business, what i have to do?"

"i am sending you a mail, check it and do what is written on it."

"is it that much of a tricky job? Just asking." he commented.

"then why, do you think, i am contacting you after all these years?" she asked, "you have to do it fast, and of course, in absolute secrecy. none else should know about it except you and me."

"aye aye captain."  he replied and she cut the call. the surprised cum curious expression continued to dominate his face, and he resumed walking again, whistling to himself.

Next Day, ETF

Rathore's eyes linger once more on the letter he just typed, before he click on the send button and mailed it. His stare was fixed for a while on the sent messge, but he snapped out of it as his phone rang, there was a new case.

After crime field investigation, today he included Riya also in the team meeting, much to the delight and surprise of everyone. He knew how much she despised paperworkis and missed working with team, the team did too. From his side, the punishment was still there, he just let her rejoin in the work for what she was here in the first case, solving crimes.

he watched as his team went to their work, Liza to lab, Aisha and Chotu to interrogate some suspect, Shree to his computers and Arjun- Riya to the victim's family. he felt something, close to emptiness, as they both walked out of ETF, already discussing the case. 

He was the one who approached her to rejoin. they worked together, in absolute secret in the beginning, getting the evidences which made the higher authority believe that Sikandar does exist. After the case ended, he was at peace, Sikandar was behind bars and the last tribute to his love, delivered, but now he thought about the after effects, he realised she and he was not close anymore like they were earlier. Blame it on situation, maybe their personalities, whatever it is, but they are not close. She left without another word after that encounter, he never got a chance to confront her about it, he didnt talk to her about Dev alias Sikandar, didnt ask about their history. he should have talked, he should have been there as a friend but he failed to did any of it.

but at least she is not alone, a part of mind said and he find himself agreeing to it. She is not alone, ironically, the person who strongly opposed her entry in ETF and reentry in life, Rawte, was her new BFF now. well they were friends since academy, but something happened and they were not, but they are back now. once again, he had no idea what happened between them that they were so bitter with each other. so many loopholes, so many questions, so many things he should have known about his "best friends'' but he didnt know any. when he became to aloof and detached to them?

He pushed aside the guilt feeling, his mind back to think about his two friends. Riya, the Riya he knew years ago in academy was long gone when he met her after all these years in here, right under the roof of ETF. This new person was quiet, composed, thought before actions, she was reserved, she had always been, but this time the reservation was inpenetrable. But the old Riya is resurfacing again, at least he feels so. Her old sarcastic self is coming back, the earlier nonchalant attitude to things is coming back, the recklessness is coming back. he sometime feels sorry for her, the stress she is going through and this investigation, but could not bring himself to console her for it. There are very few people who we choose to see our tears, they didnt choose each other for it, no matter how good friends they are. 

She had chosen Arjun to see her vulnerable side, he thought with a know-it-all smile. ever since he had come back with her from bangalore everyone can see how close they had become. She is almost always with him, and he is always with her. it was good, Rathore thought, she needs someone to look after her, nowadays she is doing some mistakes which will effect her future badly. he trusted Arjun to prevent her from doing further mistakes.

His eyes linger around the ETF once again and he sighed, suddenly feeling heavy. He always felt proud to work here, felt satisfied to guide his team, enjoyed the discussions with team, was used to the bodn this team formed. For him, this was his second home, and it will always be. He thought about the letter he just sent and he sighed, maybe its time to move on. He didnt think that this one case will become his whole life, but now as its solved, he is feeling a certain hollowness inside him, which is permanent he believes.

When ETF Chief was busy to turn nostalgic, Riya was with Officer Shah in the same interrogation room. he called her all of a sudden, ordering to come for another round of question answer. Arjun looked more irritated at the call than hers she remembered, then pushed all her thoughts in the back of her mind as Officer Shah entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"Shall we start?" he asked, opening and turning page of the familiar looking looking file.

"Can hardly wait." she murmured sarcastically, to which he stiffed, not liking it.

the same questions followed, if she knew Dev was a criminal, if she supplied any informations to him which was related to case, how she expect the department to believe her answers and blah blah. at some point she was tempted to answer that she care a damn if department believe her or not, but she didnt, keeping calm. he rephrased the same questions in other way, but her answers were same.

he then took a different note, asked her about her visit with Dev, "Did you visit the prime suspect Dev Patel aka Sikandar some couple of days ago?"

"Yes." she answered, "not a chance to lie as you probably already have the register of the jail and my entry on it, right?" she added more, not able to stop herself. Like Raghu sir had said, Officer Shah gets into the people's skin and push them to the point where they just gave up and confess. the problem is, he pushing her for nothing and she had no better answers than her sarcasm.

He glared at her, "why you went there and met him?"

"I was an idiot." her voice was quiet and hard, the anger on herself coming back, "I tried to show him how strong i was after his secret came out in open."

"And you had him against wall by throat, according to guards." officer Shah commented, in mind taking a note about her anger issues.

"which explained i was not at all strong."

"You honestly expect me to believe it, Officer Mukherjee?" His lips twitched into a smile of disbelieve as he entertwined his fingers, "you expect the department to buy your reasonings?"

"I do not care if you believe it or not." Riya was tired of justifying herself to him. she can argue when he accuse her of helping Dev, but not on the matter of something which she already regrets, "its the truth, i didnt help him, and i was an idiot to visit him. He provoked me and i fell for him."

"The actions points to a different way though," he commented, again turning pages of the file, "according the guards, if they were some seconds late the prime suspect might have been already dead. you surely didnt visit him in a attempt to kill him?"

the accusation was ridiculous to the point of funny. she looked away to stiffle her laughter, before she looked at him, "if i wanted to kill him, this was the last route i would have taken. also, i would have been in jail by now, waiting death sentence. Not a nice way to get away from the investigation, eh?"

he gave her a calm look, "The investigation will lead you to same fate, Officer Mukherjee, prison time and suspension. the punishment for helping a criminal is life sentence, you know what right?"

"Once again," she sighed loudly, the anger was coming back again, "i am repeating this, i didnt help him, so you can quit your threats because i am really not scared."

"lets talk about something else," Officer Shah now closed the file and looked at her, like he got the most interesting topic to talk, "who is John Fernandez, Officer Mukherjee?"

Her heart beat faster at the name, but her brow frowned at his question, "John who?"

"Cut the acting, please," he straighten his back, "we both know the name. I am particularly interested in the e mail you sent to him, about what, we have absolutely no record."

"you are taping my phone." she said in disbelieve, her eyes widen with shock. Shah gave her a calm stare.

"a suspect of a high profile case is roaming free, who is also, a cop." he replied, glaring at her, "its the basic rules. now, tell me, which e mail ID you used and what you sent him? how you know John?"

she didnt answer, still in shock. Shah again stared at her calmly, a wining look in his eyes as he spoke, "again, co-incident, that you have links to another person who have crime records in hacking and breaking minor laws. whats with you and criminals, Officer Mukherjee?"

they both continued to stare at each other, expecting the reaction. finally Riya crossed her shoulder, a sign that she is finally over her shock.

"Is the interrogation over? i would like to go."

"we are not going anywhere unless you answer."

"i wont answer, now, if you will excuse me." She stood up at once and walked straight for door, banging the door behind her.

once she was inside the SUV, she sat there, completely still as the words of Officer Shah echoed in her ears. So she in under surveilliance. How long its going on, maybe since the time she set foot in Mumbai for interrogation. What else they are taping except for her phone? are there cameras in her new quarter? is her house in Bangalore, her father under surveilliance also? are the people around her, they under surveilliance too?

once again, there were pools of questions and she had no answers. there were none who can answer her. she wondered if Sameer or raghu sir knew about this special arrangment, but then shook it off. she would have been this much shocked and numbed if she heard about this from them, it makes no difference from whom the words are coming.

after the initial shock died down, there was numbness inside her mind. she didnt know how to feel about it, it was bad enough that people assuming she helped Dev in his crimes, now it sucked that she is under watch. maybe it would been better if Officer Shah had not told her anything. . . 

She felt her numbess is wearing off slowly, her senses were more alert now. her eyes roam around, try to search any SUV or car which is following her. it felt like those spy film in hollywood and she laughed, a humourless laugh. her life had changed and still changing in  fraction of seconds. when she was small, she never thought she will be a cop. when she became cop, she never thought one day she will handle most prestigious case of her life. when she was investigating with rest of team about Sikandar, never thought Sikandar will turn out Dev and she will be suspected to be linked with him. when the interrogation was going on, never for a second this thought crossed her mind that her own department might keeping eye on her, both literary and figuratively.

for a moment she wondered if the new found attention from Arjun was a part of surveillance program. it made her feel strange, sad and something else, maybe disappointment. she pushed this thought away in the back of mind and started driving, her eyes lingering more than once on the rear view mirror.

the rest of day passed in calm, from her side. She was calm, in total control as they discussed case, giving her views, listening to others, questioning suspects, just like any other normal day. maybe it was normal for her, but almost everyone suspect something wrong under her calm demeneor. she appeared too calm, too still for some reason, it was fine but it was overdone, as if she is keeping something to herself. The team later came to know her another round of interrogation with Officer Shah and they understood her behavior, giving her the space she needed.

that night when she kept foot in her new quarter, her eyes roamed on the cardboxes which was till unpacked, then to the ceilings and corners in the room, trying to figure out if there is any camera in the house. she didnt know if there was any, but the idea that someone is constantly keeping tab on her was uncomfortable, almost suffocating. even if Officer Shah only taped her phone, not wired her house, and only meant to freak her out, he was successful. it might have worked nicely with suspects who are actually criminals, but for a person like her who is not guilty, it was hard. she slowly kept her bag on the sofa and hurried for the door again, getting out to have some fresh air.

There are certain plus points when your office and apartment are in walking distance. Riya found herself getting back into office, taking her usual seat in discussion room and staring into nothing. It was dark all over the place, none was there to see her and for the first time in that day she felt safe, relieved that nobody is watching her. But it cant go on like this, she cant spend all her time outside apartment or not use her phone. Should she inform about it all to Raghu sir or sameer? then she thought what if they knew it already and didnt inform her about it because of their embarrassment, and she shuddered. The last thing she wants to make them uncomfortable. She thought another thing too, what if nothing comes out from those private numbers, then what? What answer she will give about the John Fernandez question? And what if it turns out something, what will she do about it? She is searching for an answer which dont have any question! 

Behind her, the sun rose again, starting a new day, about what she was oblivious. She looked like a picture, completely still as she leaned forward slightly in her chair, her fingers brushing over her lips, her eyes zoned out into somewhere. She looked like she was not in this world, and maybe she was not. Arjun was near her for the whole 45 minutes, staring from outside through glass wall yet she had no clue. when he finally sat opposite her with the steaming coffee mugs then also she didnt look up. he had to clear his throat to get her attention, to which she looked surprised.

"When did you arrive?"

"I was here all the time." He replied, motioning toward the mug. she looked at the mug and picked it up, her expression thankful.

"You look really tired." he commented, staring at her intently, "why you are here?"

she shrugged not replying, looking into somewhere. he didn't push more, letting her have her own space. He should be angry at her for hiding about that paper, and yet he is sitting opposite her calmly, observing her. Seems like his tolerance level is going up.

"you remember," she spoke after a while, still looking away like she was in some trance, "around this time, we had to wake up in academy and run in the tracks?"

he nodded, smiling as he remembered those fond memories, "yes, and those bets we used to have, who will come first." 

"I always used to win those bets." she looked proud, now meeting his eyes, "Sameer always used to come first."

"you always used to bet on him." he replied, smirking, ''always taking his side."

"I didnt bet on him because he was better than you," she frowned, clarifying, "i trusted you."

he frowned too, not getting her answer.

"I knew you will never let him lose, so every time he came first. i trusted you to make that decision. in a way i was betting on you." 

it felt like a responsibility, to explain a small thing after all these years. After these three became best of friends, bets were natural, who will win race, who will come first, who can do more pranks and get away with it. After Roshni joined the group, she and Riya always bet on boys whenever they raced. While Roshni had immense faith on Arjun, Riya always put her word on Sameer, and every time she won.

"sounds like you knew how my mind thinks." Arjun replied, staring at her interestingly. she shrugged.

"No, i didnt. if i knew you better, your proposing to Roshni should not have come as the shock of the year."

he internally flinched at the name, thousands memory running in his minds linked to the name. he exhaled a breath slowly to calm himself down, his heartbeat picking up slightly. 

"you looked really pissed that night. . . " he let the sentence incomplete, not sure if he should say more about the night which should not be mentioned. She nodded slightly, letting out a small laugh which quite didnt sound like laugh.

"Oh i was! i used to think i am your best friend, and yet i had no idea you love this girl, let alone proposing. the words that came out from my mouth that night, was no match to the anger i felt deep within." she answered, "i was a fool. blind."

"seems like we all had our shares of foolish act." he commented quietly, his eyes lingering on the bandage on his arm which stays always there. she followed his eyes, frowning. she always noticed that bandage in his arm but never asked about it.

"I tattooed her name on our first marriage anniversary." he informed, smiling fondly as he remembered how happy and overwhelmed she was when he showed the tattoo, "now i think, i should have gifted her something else, a necklace, or maybe i should have taken her out for a vacation. we would have got more time together, more memories." he sighed, brushing his fingers on the bandage, "when i think about those times now, i feel this gift is so worthless. i should have given something else, a more meaningful gift, to make her happier, to make that moment more beautiful."

"she was never the materialistic kind of girl." Riya replied, sighing as well, "for her people meant most, not the gifts or money. she would have been happy even if you were there with her, without any gift," her lips curled into a teasing smile, "though i admit, a tattoo on arm is so clich gift to give."

he chuckled, his face softening. for the first time in his life, he is thinking about his love of life, talking about her and this tattoo, which is constant reminder of what happened to her, without any anger or pain. it felt so good talking about her so naturally, and surprisingly, not till now the memories of her last moment came in front of his eyes and made him stiff.

"why the bandage?" she asked, her eyes lingering again on his arm. she had a vogue idea of his reply, this tattoo is a reminder of Roshni, her life and death. he is not comfortable to talk about her so freely, not even about her life. but she was shocked out his wits when Arjun pulled out his bandage and lay bare the skin in front of her, every cell of her body taking in the details of the tattoo and the nasty long cut over it.

"I didnt notice it until one month." his eyes were also on the tattoo like hers, his mind back to those god awful dark days of his life, "everything was in a blur, her death, the funeral, people talking about it, the consolations, their worry for me, the days that passed after it." he paused, "i noticed it after a month, i had injuries on my head, back and some other part but for some reason i removed my bandage from arm and then i noticed it, this long cut over the tattoo, over her name. ever since i keep it like it, hidden." he sighed again, "not because i am ashamed. i guess i still cant handle it, not the scar, not what happened to her, not all those things."

as soon as he finished talking, he went back to gently cover it with the bandage, not realizing the impact of his words on her. she looked like someone sucked all air from her lungs and left her to die, her face pale as a sheet and eyes lifeless. she excused herself hurriedly and walked toward washroom, behind her he looked worried and confused at her behavior. as soon as she locked the door behind her and realized she was all alone in washroom, she broke into a fit of sobs, her palm on mouth to cover her loud cries as she slipped against the door, her whole body shaking.

she knew what happened to him, she can to some extent feel what he had gone through in those moments, but right now she felt she had no clue what he had gone through in the darkest phase in his life. it sucked more when the major thing again came back to haunt her, the person who happened to made his life hell, co-incidentally was the person who practically gave her second life. how can one person become angel for one and devil for another? she knew what Dev alias, Sikandar did to thousands of people, she knew about his illegal arms dealing, the people he killed directly or indirectly. she remembered once she had said to Arjun that he want to find sikandar only because of his revenge, not because he is a criminal who had ruined many lives and should be stopped. she felt awful now for saying that to him, it was always personal, earlier for him, now for her. she never felt this much hatred for Dev like now, she wished, for the first time in life, that she had aimed correctly and killed him that day in airport. she wished, that she could just run into central jail right now and empty the whole gun into his head. 

Interestingly enough, this feeling of intense hatred for Dev came only after witnessing the scar' he left on Arjun, both literary and figuratively. This feeling didn't come when the truth came out open, not when she met him in jail and he provoked her, not when they were investigating the case, oblivious to the real person under the mask of Sikandar'. This whole situation came into full circle for her, earlier it was personal for him, now its personal for her. It was always personal for her, no matter what bullshit she had said about Roshni, in heart she loved and respected her and no amount of blind anger cant ruin that. The difference was she, to some extent, was able to think beyond this personal connection and work on this case, unlike him. But right now, she cared a damn about this think beyond personal connection' theory, right here right now, the little bit feeling for Dev left her soul, it was all burning rage and hatred for him. She didn't hate herself anymore to feel for that person, because there was no feeling left.

Who says the feeling of hatred can ruin you? she felt so good after this self- realization, all the burden she felt earlier, the confusion inside her, the suffocation in her chest, all were gone now. Now she can see clearly, think logically. The hatred was only thing that was making her move, and God must be shaking his head at the irony. Now it was a complete circle, the transformation of Riya Mukherjee. She is now officially a version of Rawte, in all the way possible, about what he had no clue.

Rest of the day passed in a blur. Her mind screamed at her to go to central jail and end that dirtbag's life once for all, but every time she had to resist. It must be so hard to self- control, she wondered how Arjun is holding up. She also thought another thing, which she must have thought long ago- she could not kill Dev because of her weakness, but why Arjun didn't finish the job? It was his lifelong goal to find and kill Sikandar, why he resisted? He had said to her once revenge seems worthless after all this happened, obviously pointing toward her suffering because of all this, but still why he didn't kill him? Only to spare her further torture? Maybe yes, and in the moment the self- hatred came back once again. In one way or other, she is always the reason of His pain, and she think of them as best of friends. What nonsense! 

In between work, she found time and ordered Shree to erase the mail he had sent on her behalf to John from his email ID, making sure in no way it can be brought back. He asked excitedly about the hacker, to which she again had to remind him he is the IT head of ETF, and not John. Still his excitement was something she could not resist, and she had to repeat the conversation she had with John, without omitting anything. 

The next couple of day was somewhat boring, compared to the days she was having till now. Work late, solve case, extra paperwork, eating something and not only gulping coffee like it's the only thing in world, and going to apartment only to change clothes. But there was an extra work too, making sure she is always away from Arjun's eyes. Rathore suddenly got a confusing surprise when all of a sudden, Riya volunteered to spend more time with Shree during case and Arjun had to go out for investigation with other member, sulking and confused like him. He felt he jinxed the new found relationship between Arjun-Riya by mentioning it to his brain, he had to ask Riya about it, to which she feigned ignorance. In her defense, she felt it was best to stay away from his sight. Arjun got enough problem in his life, he don't need a constant reminder of his past and why he could not kill the son of a bitch who killed his wife. She should have realized it earlier, oh well better late than never.

It has been 4 days since she called John, after it neither she contacted him nor did he. Her mind was in such revenge mode that she could not think straight, in the first place she tore the paper away from that file because she had sensed something off about those private numbers, and now, she felt she did that because she still felt something for HIM and she did only to help him. This sounded worse in mind, and yet she was adamant to stick to it. To be honest, she wanted to hear anything from John, something or nothing, but she didn't want to admit it to herself. Enough of self- realization for this week.

"What's wrong?" so one afternoon Arjun had enough of her this weird behavior, obviously he had no idea what's going on in that confusing mind of hers and she didn't let him to know too. She had just finished talking to the mother of victim and was going to discussion room to inform the rest of team mates, she noticed him coming toward her and groaned inwardly, immediately faking a relaxed face.

"Nothing. What's up?" she asked brightly, walking with him toward discussion room. He frowned, something was off with her and he cant point exactly what. He also worried that it got something to do with that piece of paper and the hacker she contacted, but of course he cant be 100% sure about it.

"Nothing? So what's with avoiding me for these days?" he crossed him arms, determined to get his answers. She let out a chuckle.

"too much imagination, really." She rolled her eyes, "I am not avoiding."

He narrowed his eyes in a oh really?' way, clearly not believing her. she sighed, looking around.

"Not feeling well, really." She admitted in a quiet voice. He soften hearing her, uncrossing his arms.

"then take some days off. Visit your father." He suggested. She sighed in relief inwardly, he bought her stupid reasoning!

"He will baby me." she replied, both of them again walking toward discussion room, "its fine, I will get over it."

"or you can come with me." he offered.

"to where?"

"I am having lunch with parents." He informed. She raised both of her eye brows, absorbing this piece of information.

"you and your parents?"

"yeah. Its like a . . . " he exhaled, looking around, "make up lunch."

"make up lunch for 10 years?" she started to laugh, "you sure it will be lunch and not holiday?"

Even he started to laugh, shaking his head. His dad hated when he joined IPS, practically disowned him after he went to academy. Only mommy dearest was close to him, but after this whole Sikandar-entering-his-life-and -made-it-hell incident, he pushed her away as well. When they got news that finally the SOB who ruined their son's life is behind bars, they visited Arjun to hospital. His dad is still like that, too much egoistic to say SORRY aloud, His mom is still the same, caring and loving like all mothers in world. It was her idea, this lunch, and he was looking forward to it.     

"Have fun." She wished truthfully with a smile.

"I am inviting you." he frowned, staring at her with a mixture of exasperation and irritation.

"Its your lunch, not want to take the spotlight." She replied sarcastically. Her phone beeped and she took it out, still talking to him, "have fun, Mommy's boy!"

He opened his mouth to reply something to her Mommy's boy comment. Its been ages since she teased him about that, and he never let her get away with it without replying anything. he had to close his mouth to say as she took out her phone, her face still for a while but then she cut the call, looking at him again.

"Who's that?" he inquired. She narrowed her eyes, mocking him.

"too much inquiry, Mommy's boy." She teased yet again. They both reached the discussion room and he leaned toward her as he pushed open the door, saying some well- chosen words in her ears.

"say Mommy's boy again, and you will regret it."

In reply she just mock glared to him, but clearly enjoying this moment. She informed about her phone call with victim's mother to team, but didn't stick around to discuss about it, giving an excuse of "going to apartment to change my clothes, they stinks!" 

John frowned at his phone, sticking out his tongue as he kept his phone on the nearby table, turning back to his desktop. He had finally found some interesting stuff about those private numbers, and wanted to let her know about it all, but looks like she is not interested. Well, her miss, he thought and smirked, clearly proud of his hacking ability.

After some 10 minutes, his phone buzzed and there was an unknown number flashing on the screen. He pressed the answer button, saying Hello in low and different voice, stressing it.

"What you find?" 

He sighed in relief as it was Riya, but then frowned, "what happened to your phone?"

"I am asking the questions here." She answered in a bossy manner, staring around her, "don't call me in that number, and if possible, don't call from this number too!"

"Did you suddenly join CIA or what? What's with the secrecy?" he was genuinely curious.

"what you find?" she repeated once again. John sighed, he is clearly not getting answers from her, so why waste time? He informed he found something about those private numbers, their locations and all.

"so they were all same numbers?" she frowned, not believing her luck. 

"Yup." He stressed the P, smirking again. 

"same location?"

"well there was a catch." He laughed, "the person made sure all the time he called, the location comes out as different. I am guessing some kind of bug. . . but yeah, all locations are same. Some place near Sharjah."

She listened to him intently, the frown vanishing, "you sure?"

"100 and 10 %, madam ji." John grinned, "you will be pleased to know the number is still active. You want me to leave a message on it?"

"no, your work is over." Riya leaned against the glass wall of the phone booth, straightening her back, "what is the number?"

John said the number and she saved it in her phone, a part of her relieved that there was something behind these numbers and she was not chasing wild goose, "any information about this number, as in the owner, some address?"

"the owner of this number, he don't exist on earth." He informed, "a fake ID. Cant say I am surprised."

"neither can I." she replied, the frown coming back, "thanks for the help, John, really, I appreciate it."

"what, that's it?" John mocked, now getting on his feet and walking in his room, "I was hoping to do more spy stuff like this."

"too bad, that was all." she mocked back, smirking. He faked a sigh.

"okay than, until next time Officer Mukherjee." He answered, keeping his hand on chest like a promise. She chuckled under breath.

"hopefully this is the last time you hearing my voice. Thanks once again, take care." She cut the call even before he replied and left the phone booth, making sure she talked only till 56 seconds. None can trace the location of number now, she thought and relaxed, at least she had something. It lifted her spirits to a great degree. she was about to leave, but then she took out her own phone from pocket, dialed the number John just gave her and waited. she half expected the number wont get connected but then she heard the voicemail -'please leave your voice after Beep'.

"I know you are out there." and she cut the call. now, why the hell she did it, she dont know. nowadays there were tons of question without answer, and many impulsive moments like this. her mind was empty, not sure what to expect from this small voicemail or what she should do now. she shook her head and finally moved out of phone booth, deciding to change for sure, a corner of her lips smirking as she gave something new to Officer Shah to tap her phone.

Mumbai, same day, 6 PM

Officer Neeraj Shah finished talking on phone and stared into somewhere, his fingers moving on its own in air. he was talking to a Police commissioner of Karnataka, taking full information about John Fernandez. surely, John was a petty hacker and it seemed so inferior to talk about him to a commissioner, but his 'alleged' connection to Officer Mukherjee and her connection to Sikandar cant be overlooked, who knows what she is planning now.

the commissioner informed John was recently captured by Bangalore police's Whitefield station, but someone bailed him out. Commissioner was quite surprised when he informed certain Criminal Lawyer Desai, who had previously worked with department, bailed John out. Desai was a high profile lawyer, it didnt make sense why he will bail out a petty criminal like John, also, who paid for him? Officer Shah also mentally made a note about all things leading to Bangalore, the garden city of India, in this matter, the Devil Sikandar himself, the 'Officer' - he scoffed at it- Mukherjee's hometown, now this John and Mr Desai.

and now, to make matter more complicated, John is nowhere to be found. Officer Shah's eyes tighten slightly as he half expected John to be dead by now, after all, what you would expect when you are dealing with Sikandar? the Whitefield police station, who had captured John, was now searching him as well as half the city police, its been 3 days and there was no news, either John is too good with hiding or he is not alive anymore.

Officer Shah leaned back in his seat, itching to do something right now but all he have to do now is to wait. When Department had handed him over the interrogation case of officer Riya, he did his full research, her personal as well as professional history, the people around her and so and so. surely, she was efficient as a investigative officer, its a shame that she ruined her life wasting after that filthy bas***d Sikandar, how can anyone help that person who is after god knows how many murders and terrorist acts? Hell, that demon even killed Officer Mukherjee's one of friend's wife, how can she still be linked with him?

Aisha was bang on in her observation, he had made up his mind about Mukherjee being a guilty. He trusted evidences, dont believe in co-incidences and in this case, there are too many co-incidences. like, both Dev and Mukherjee staying in same city, the latter a patient to the former's, then her returning to ETF and working on a case which is literally a death sentence for Sikandar, the bumps the case faced afterwards, Dev's enter in the city during the case and lastly, the attack on ETF and his trying to escape. And now, when he is after bars, she is trying to come out as clean, which is not happening. we cant hide crimes, no matter how much we try, and Neeraj was sure Officer Mukherjee wont be too.

He was both surprised and suspicious that other than a soft warning to not cross any lines during investigation, there was not another order from DIG Dixit in anyway interfering. He tried to imagine Dixit sir's expression if he come to know about this phone tapping case, already Shah is handeling a case which is quite personal for Raghu sir, Mukherjee was his ex student and a close one, and also thought whether she had informed him about it. Raghu sir dont take things lightly when rules are broken, and Shah was half expecting a call next day, a lecture from him. looks like only him and some seniors are thinking how possibly dangerous and guilty Mukherjee is, the whole ETF and DIG himself on her side. Shah always wondered whats going on with the old man, and he suspected again maybe he is hoping things will come out differently with this interrogation, though it made no sense even in his mind. 

His fame in the department is not solely because of how he break accused and make them confess, its also because the length he goes to make them confess, bordering on obsession and mostly psychological. When he made up his mind that accused is guilty, the work is easier, breaking him/her. He thought smugly, he has gotten under Mukherjee's skin, as he would like to think. She was mostly quiet and co-operative in the intial days of interrogation, but now, she is always sarcastic, ready to blow his head off as he fired away his questions. He knew the symptoms, the guilty first try to come out as helpful and good, then he/ she become irritated, indifferent, finally break down and confess.

It was not legal to tap her phone, but he was getting irritated with her constant mocking answers and stubborn nature not to answer honestly. That he was pissed at her audacity, after helping a national criminal she is feigning innocence, would be an understatement, he hardly can wait now to see her walking down the shadowy path in Central jail handcuffed and take the next cell to Sikandar. He remembered how shocked she looked when he had revealed her little secret about John and smirked, now she WILL break down, he was sure. She will be paranoid, that someone is constantly keeping tab on her. she has lots to hide, and now that she thinks someone is watching her, she surely will do something stupid, He just have to be at the right place to catch her red handed.

 Officer Shah thought once again about John and frowned, what does Mukherjee wants with a hacker? Did this John member was a part of Sikandar's gang or someone she knew? Now that Sikandar was in jail, it looked like a part of her plan to help him escape. He exhaled sharply, it has to be that, a high profile plan to help the Devil. He will be damned if he let her do anything to help Sikandar, whom ironically, she also helped catching. 

He snapped out of his zoned-out thoughts and saw the digits on his writing pad, the number of Criminal Lawyer Desai. he quickly dialed his number and came straight to point once he let him know who he is.

"Mr. Desai, I would like you to know why exactly I am calling you, so that you can answer my questions properly and with utmost honesty." Officer Shah used his authoratve tone, "I know, some days ago you bailed a certain John Fernandez from Whitefield police station. I also happen to know on the exact same evening, Officer Riya Mukherjee called you from Mumbai, whom you likely to know based on your past work experience in BLPD." He paused, "Now, its plain logic that she must have sent you to bail Joh out, I would just like to know the truth."

for some moment, there was no voice on the other side. Shah waited patiently, and readied himself as a deep, aged voice started speaking.

"You would like to know truth about what, Officer?"

"that she sent you to bail him out." Neeraj counter argued.

"and you think its truth?" Desai turned the table on him, ah these oldy wrinkled lawyers and their smarth mouth.

"So what exactly is the truth, Mr Desai?" Shah become little agitated, "enlighten me then, the co-incidence that just after 2 hour Mukherjee called you, John was out and the person who bailed him was you. How can a high profile criminal lawyer know John anyway? Who paid for John?"

"I cant answer these questions owing to client-lawyer confidentiality." Desai dismissed him. Shah glared around in his office.

"You really want me to get a warrant and go through your call records?" he demanded.

"I would like exactly that," Desai answered smugly, "do you want any lawyers number for that? I have plenty of resources."

Shah bit his inside of lips to say something offensive, asking the last question, "Are you still in touch with John?"

"I think we are done, Officer Shah." Desai spoke with finality, "I will look forward to warrant."

and the line went dead. the next thing was around paper weight shattering and falling against a wall as Officer Shah looked ready to kill someone, his whole body shaking with anger. 

Central Jail, Mumbai

Oh, Jails are so boring ! Maybe except when gossips flow in air, other than that its boring, wake up at morning, eating, sleeping, reading, staring at nothing. 

Things sucks more if you are a high profile criminal, more security, less or nil interraction with rest of cell mates. Never in life Dev Patel had cursed his choice of profession as a Therapist and part time underworld criminal.

Since the time he is here, he is pretty much stuck in his own cell, except the bathroom time ofcourse. maybe rest of cell mates are scared of him, or maybe he is already a celebrity among them and he had no idea about it. He liked that, the idea of celebrity. he always liked fame, liked when people looked at him in awe.

But today, it was his turn to become awe. A inmate from this Central jail is soon going to face death penalty, thanks to his killing a encounter specialist during a mafia-police face off. Indian judiciary might suck, taking forever to give sentence, but when one of their own is hit- police, army, politicians, they are hell fast. Thought Dev Patel is practically locked in his own cell, he can hear the gossip in the air, and again wondered maybe God exist, a power which decided to link his life, ridiculously enough, to another police officer.

The most interesting part of this inmate, he confessed his own crime, which is pretty much rare, confessing to kill a policeman and earning death sentence even before the judge announced. its been 4 years since he received it, his family- those stupid pathetic people, Dev rolled his eyes thinking- had the laughable audacity to take his case to the President, who, to none's surprise, dismissed the plea. now, its only a matter of 2 week that he will be hanging like a pendulum from a rope, his face hiding behind a black bag. 

maybe finally he realised what a stupid thing he did, because from some days, this inmate is going berserk, picking up fight with others, crying heart out, screaming, refusing food, and finally, pleaing. he is getting cold feet about death, Dev chuckled thinking, after 4 years of absolute no talking the inmate finally started fighting and screaming, when there is no other way to escape it. Nowadays, he just stay silent, murmuring to himself, staying alone all by himself like a crazy lunatic. while his cellmates gave him space, they often discuss in hush hush tone what he murmur to himself, he thought none can hear but oh well, even walls have ears, dont they? So Dev had the priviledge to hear the latest gossip in central jail, something interesting in his utterly Boring life.

So, according to gossip, the inmate didnt kill the encounter specialist, instead he took the blame for another police officer. here is the point where things get interesting- apparently, during the encounter, another officer had accidentally killed the encounter specialist, but when the police captured the rest of mafias, this inmate got a order from his Boss "to save the guilty officer and take the blame." He did it then, feeling heroic, but after 4 years the decision is biting him hard on his ass.

And apparently, the then-guilty-police-officer is none other then, ACP Rathore from ETF.

Dev laughed out loud, the guards outside his cell giving him weird look at his antic but he overlooked them, too busy to celebrate. He always liked Rathore, Rathore the rajput, the bait who was supposed to help him escape country but it didnt quite go the way he had assumed. He continued to laugh, thinking how it will look if this piece of news made it to headlines, the ETF chief who has a family history of serving country, is a guilty himself, saving his own ass from something he did in past. for a person who is supposed to put guilty behind bars, he is surprisingly not living upto his own morals, is he?

Dev stopped laughing, a cold hard determination taking its place in his eyes and on his face. He knew whats coming next, he had noticed the tattoo on this soon-to-be-dead inmate's wrist, he was once a part of his gang. so, someone told him to take the blame for Rathore, Dev had no idea who ordered him but he was never so pleased. its good to have some secrets of Mr. Rathore, if he knows it, so does people outside Jail. all he have to do is wait and see how the game is going to unfold. this is becoming interesting, years ago he entered into Rawte's life and started this, months ago he again did it to end this once for all, on a larger scale but it failed. now another storm is coming, and he is looking forward to it. sure as hell this storm is enough to drag him out of jail. 

late night, ETF

Its amazing, when you really want to stay away from everyone and sulk in self misery, you will find everyone is looking out for you, but when you really need someone to talk, everyone's phone come out as busy!

thats exactly is happening with Riya. After her return to ETF, she didnt get any chance to talk to Rathore, as in real heart to heart talk about all the shit that is going on around them and not those casual talks about case or interrogation. She was to blame also, she was busy in her own world and a certain stubborn man in her life was occupying all the place in her mind. the thing connected rathore and Riya most was loneliness. They are both same in many ways yet different, reserved and stubborn and of course, alone. earlier when they were in Academy, Rathore was a guy who was determined to prove his worth, that he is not here just because of his family's favour but his own ability, and Riya was always a loner by choice. when he was not busy with the used to pour his heart because she always held herself back.  those used to be rare, and often they didnt talk anything at all, silence was the only thing binding them together. Talking part came when Arjun joined them, he was the joy and energy in them, a competitor of Rathore who pushed him to limits, a teasing friend for Riya who respected her ability, taught her things while he learnt as well, and who made her open up. This was the same when She joined ETF, Rathore was already isolated from team because of his khadoos portrayal of boss and own personal problems and she always a loner, this loneliness and silence formed their bond once again, to some extent it reformed their team as they worked together in absolute secrecy, having each other's back. 

But things changed after this case was over and she came back to Mumbai for interrogation. This time she had the whole team beside her, and of course, Arjun, who took it as his duty to look out for her. She cant remember the last time she walked into a room and Arjun didnt look at her instantly. the earlier loneliness was gone, and the exciting life she is leading right now, silence was gone as well. the basic feature of Rathore and her friendship had vanished, so unavoidably they were not as much close as they were months ago. she didnt lose him as friend, its just he was not visible in her life like he used to. so it was rather surprising that suddenly today he picked out a date to chat with her over coffee, in ETF of course. The team was gone after a long day of work and now they were the only two person in here, and after a long time, silence.

"never thought this will be so awkward." Rathore mumbled after a while as they sat in front of each other, only taking sip of coffee cautiously as if making sound is illegal and talking nothing. Riya laughed.

"Agree." she nodded, and then looked at him intently, "what brought this conversation on, Boss?"

He narrowed his eyes, "I am not going to say sorry about the piles of paperwork you had to do. you earned it."

she rolled her eyes, muttering, "As if I didnt know it."

they sat in silence again, he was the one to break it first.

"I am sorry."

She frowned at him.

"I am sorry. I was not there for you. with all the problem you faced, i should have been there as a friend and not someone who is just observing from sidelines."

"I understand." she replied, "To almost everyone, I am the victim of this whole mess. but you are hurting too, are not you?"

he sighed, silently accepting her words, "More like emptiness. I used to be worried about Arjun that he is making his whole life only about this Hunt for Sikandar, but i never realised i was making it all my life as well. now the case is over, the hunt is over, and suddenly its so empty inside." he sighed once again, "i dont know what to do anymore. nothing held any interest. i paid my last respect to her, but whats next?"

she reached out for his hand and squeezed it, "you will figure it out. give it time."

"Hope so." he gave a small smile.

"you will. you are always the smarter among us, Boss." she said in light tone, to which he laughed.

they were again silent, and once again, he was the one to break it.

"How you holding up?"

If he had asked this question at least 15 days ago, she would have answered the exact thing what she had said to Arjun. but now, everything is changed. she draw a deep breath, getting ready to let out all the bottled up frustration.

"Angry. I feel angry all the time. Somehow it all feel my fault, though it dont make any sense, but in a way it feels. That Son of a Bitch, I along with you guys put him there, behind bars, and yet there is not an ounce of fear or remorse on his face, as if he is there for vacation and not for jail sentence! i want to kill him, just strangle him or put bullets into him so that his irritating smirk dont mock me in my nightmares. What was my fault anyway, that my Mom and Brother died and he was the Therapist i ended up with? Or the friendship that followed? That Officer Shah, he is pushing me so hard, he is so sure i was helping HIM and i dont have any satisfactory answer for him, other than sarcasm, because i didnt help him! But he just dont get it! he continues to push me and i feel like i am losing it." She paused, taking deep breath again as she ran her fingers through hair. Rathore patiently heard her, not talking or moving as if only slight change in atmosphere will make her stop. maybe it will, she was never this forthcoming.

"I feel pathetic. I was not strong enough to kill HIM in that airport, but Arjun didnt too, he knew it would hurt me so he didnt. You know he showed me the tattoo on his arm, you cant imagine what i felt that moment. the person who is a criminal, destroyed hunderds of life in a blink of eyes, i was confused to hate him!  How does that even make sense, tell me? i was confused to hate the person who physically and emotionally scarred the people closest to me, such Bullshit!"

"Everywhere I go, everything i think or do, it always turn on me and somehow i become more trapped into the mess." she pulled her hair, remembering tearing away that call record paper and the disappointed face of Arjun's, "i am constantly letting down the people around me, they are putting such faith on me but i have no way to prove their faith right. My dad put up with me after the emotional wreck i become, both the time. I distanced myself from him like an idiot, never saying how much i appreciate it that he is always there for me. I hurt myself, and i see Arjun is there with his disapproving expression. he is always there to take care of me, how much i scream or push him away he is there, i want to tell him i am so thankful that even with the mess his life has become, he is looking out for me, that he didnt abandone me, but i cant. this anger and this pathetic feeling, its making me locking myself from rest of the world, i want to protect myself, but then i feel helpless that i am hurting the people closest to me. And I started rambling." she suddenly started laughing, a hollow humourless laugh and she refused to meet Rathore's eyes, "making no sense."

"you are making sense." Rathore spoke quietly, his expression soft, "the things you are feeling, its natural. the shock, denial, confusion and finally the anger. its natural to shut yourself from other, you dont want to get hurt, but then you feel bad to hurt others because deep down you know, these people around you, they will never hurt you."

"Like you said to me, I am going to say the same thing to you." he continued, and this time she made a face, that humourless smirk still on her lips, "Time. give it time."

"Yeah, i am little impatient in that area." she murmured mockingly. 

"as far as interrogation is concerned," Rathore's face was determined, "you did nothing wrong. everyone knows it, and you will be out soon. its a unpleasant experience, but dont tear Officer Shah's head." she laughed along with him, "it will mean more paperwork."

"and you should not blame yourself, for any of this." He continued, and this time she looked up, "you think Arjun didnt kill HIM because of your earlier attachment with HIM, have you ever asked him?"

"i once asked him if he felt free after his revenge." she remembered, "he said revenge seems so worthless now. . . he let the sentence hanging but i understood. the pained guilty look he gave me, i know why he wont do it, because he knew deep down, how much i hate Dev Patel, one part of me will always feel gratitude and that part will be sad if he died."

"From what i think, he wont kill him because of you, but because he is the better man. he wants to see HIM suffer, true, but through the judiciary process. putting a bullet in his head, its very small punishment of the mistakes he commited." Rathore's jaw clenched as his brain remembered the dead body of his beloved and the events that followed afterwards. she didnt argued, just stayed silence, maybe pondering over his words.

"Why you adress him as Arjun to me but as Rawte in front of him?" the question came out of nowhere. he looked taken aback, seeming to struggle with the answer.

"It might look easy, as everything is somewhat okay now we can become friends again, but it cant." he replied, "we will never be the same. we wont be Sam and Arjun anymore, there is too much history."

"is this because of his anger to your love for Roshni?"

"I dont think he is angry." he frowned, "he is uncomfortable, we both are. it came out of blue, and the events that followed, we both are dreading the conversation about this topic, i hope we never, NEVER talk about this. i cant explain to him why or how i fell in love with her. its too private."

"At least we guys are not ready to kill each other." she said in low voice, to which he laughed, the tension leaving his body. He stared at her for a while, smirking.

"what?"

"i remember the intial days, when you joined here. He was not pleased, but now see, you guys are best of friends."

her smiled somewhat faded at the comment, "are we, now?" she murmured dryly, to which he frowned.

"what, you guys are not?"

she pondered over his question. what she should say, that a tiny part of her brain is arguing that this new found attention from Arjun is a part of surveillance program, or that she is willingly avoiding him so that if she fell into some kind of trap because of all the wrong things she doing, she dont want him to get hurt, or that each moments she spend with him she is guilty of secrecy and lying, while he is honest about his feelings but she is always helding back, or that each time he is close to her, calming her down after a shouting match or strangling people, she feels something but then she push him away. she would have been fine if he just gave up on her, but he is not and that is making all difference.

"We are friends." the words felt wrong on her tongue, "yeah, friends."

"sounds like you are not sure about it." Rathore commented.

"maybe i am not." she somewhat agreed with him. he continued to stare at her, then spoke up.

"i dont think you guys are friends. its something more. its just you are being defensive about how you feel and he is not."

she suddenly remembered what Arjun had said to her that night. 

"I want to be there, in laughter and tears, day and night, in problems and solutions . . . as a friend, maybe something more. . .is this so difficult to understand?"

oh yeah, its so difficult to understand that why a ex-broken person like him is with another currently broken person. she bit the inside of her cheek, trying to shield herself from. . . herself maybe?

"How I feel?" her voice came out as defensive and not composed like she would have wanted. Rathore gave her a DUH look, but then his expression soften, which reminded her of her own Dad when he used to make her understand something in childhood.

"Things are changing. everything, everyday, and fast. its hard to keep tracks."

"from which side?" she was almost scared to hear the answer. he smiled.

"from both sides, if only you see yourself properly."

and it scared her