Chapter 53

Niketa

@desir

PART 50 - Dealing With His Love And His Insecurities 

Riddhima has tears in her eyes as she speak that to him and she looked at him how she wanted to say sorry to him for everything for all the things she did to him for breaking his heart in million pieces. For leaving him all alone in his life when she promised him that she will never leave him for not thinking about her promise for breaking her promise. For taking his princess away from him for not letting her daughter have the right to see her dada. For making him stay away from the biggest happiness of his life. She just wants to kill herself for doing all this to him. She is not worthy of his love that's why she is now not with him. She always failed when it comes to their love she just could not able to love him back the way he loved her. He makes everything so beautiful and perfect for her and what did she do nothing just gives him pain in his life that's all and all these things makes her more devastated as already she has and tears just comes in her eyes and she runs out from his sight though he is unconscious but she could not able to hold herself back as she remembered all the time. As tears fell from her eyes she remembered the day how he makes her feels so special when their engagement got fixed how he is excited for everything and anything.

Flashback

Riddhima looked at him with no pleased expressions as he stats that she don't buy anything tomorrow on her shopping spree with akshara bhabhi and

R:''lekin armaan kyun main kuch kyun na lun. Nahin its ok agar ap nahin chahte tou I will not buy anything.''

She first asked him then herself stopped as if he don't like she will not buy anything. And armaan smiled at his riddhima that's His Riddhima for her his words are end she will never question him if he say anything to her, she will just quietly followed them having blind trust on him. So he planted a soft kiss on her for head then speaks up as

A:''I love you riddhima''

He said and riddhima returned his smile too and then she too speaks up as

R:''I love you too armaan''

Then they heard abhie's voice and they jumped apart as

Ab:''ab agar ap donow ka romance ho gayya tou andar aaoge hum sab na tumhara intejar kar rahein hain''

He said teasing them making riddhima go red and she just moved away from his arms and as she is about to move when she heard armaan

A:''tou tujhe kya problem hain ab tou vo officially bhi meri honein vali hain''

He said snapping back at him and riddhima just rushed from there as she can't handle more teasing 

Ab:''tera na kuch nahin ho sakta acha chal ab andar''

A:''han chal raha hun mere pyar ke dushman ho sab ke sab''

He said making a face and moved inside the cafeteria and soon the day passed with the work. As armaan wants himself to be free on his engagement day so he is busy in his work and moreover he has two surgeries lined up. Riddhima's duty got over and she is waiting for armaan to come so that they can leave for home. She is about to call him when she saw Sister Lovely coming towards them and

Sl:''oh ji Dr. Riddhima ji''

R:''ji sister lovely koi kam tha kya''

Sl:''oh nahin ji mujhe na Dr. Armaan ne yeh apko dene ko kaha tha par mujhe Dr. Kirti ne bula liya tou main bhul gayi sorry hain ji''

And riddhima looked at her confused still she just taking the paper from her

R:''armaan ne koi bat nahin Sister Lovely thank you''

She said and sister lovely giving her smile left from there and riddhima opened the paper and first she saw a small piece of chocolate smilingly she took it and then she read the paper

Riddhima Jaan

Sorry meri ek surgery hain so I won't able to drop you home. Please tum aj khud chale jaana ok aur I was busy tou tumhe khud se bolne nahin aa paya. Aur ghar pahunch kar leave me a message and please baby mera wait mat karna mujhe der hogi and I know sweetheart you are tired and needs your sleep so please go home baby and yes I love you my would be fiance''

Armaan

She smiled and blushed as she read his note and his endearment of calling her and then her trance breaks with the tap on her shoulder and she saw anjali standing there with smile on her face

An:''kya bat hain madam kyun akele muskura rahi hain bat kya hain?''

She asked as she saw her friend smiling to herself and blushing to herself though she knows it is something related to armaan and yes she is right as riddhima makes her read his note and anjali just

An:''oh love is in the air''

She said teasing her friend and riddhima blushed as

R:''anjie yar''

An:''aww I am so happy for you ridzie''

She said as she hugged her best friend and riddhima too hugged her back and then she just

An:''acha vaise since lover boy is busy hum saath mein chalein''

She asked and riddhima smiled and then she just

R:''off course par only on one condition''

An:''kya sun I am not letting you drive''

R:''very funny its not I want to drive either as I am too tired''

She said as anjali knows both of their fondness for driving so they always have bickered on this 

A:''so''

R:''tujhe rat ko mere pas rukna hain aaj''

An:''ohk done''

She said and riddhima smiled and then both made their way towards home. Riddhima wants to know what's up with her best friend as she can see something is bothering her and she wants to know about that. The drive was fun as both the friends just do everything and anything what they usually do when they go home together in car, and talking about anything and everything. Anjali is laughing and all but still she can feel something is bothering her she did not pop up the question right now thinking she will ask her when they were in her room. As soon they reached her home, they saw anjali's mom padma also sitting there with riddhima's mom in the living room and seeing her she hugged her and anjali is surprised seeing her mom 

An:''mom ap yahan par?''

But before padma can answer her riddhima slapped on her arm as

R:''tou tujhe kya problem hain agar choti ma mujhse milne ayi hain, hain na choti ma?''

She said hugging padma and padma smiled and anjali makes a face as

An:''han tou maine just aise hi kaha tha badi ma dekhiye kitni zor se mara isne mujhe''

She said complaining to samriti and samriti rubbed her arm where riddhima slapped her and then she

Sa:''riddhima pagal hain tu aise karta hain kya, kitni lagi meri bachi ko''

And now its riddhima's turn to make a face getting scolded from her mother this is usual as samriti always takes anjie's side and padma always takes riddhima's and seeing her face padma speaks up as

Pa:''kya hain samriti kyun daant rahi hain abhie kuch din mein yeh aur muski apnein ghar chali jayengi na''

She said caressing riddhima's hairs and getting emotional a bit and seeing the environment turning emotional anjali speaks up as

An:''ok please no emotional talks for now abhie yeh yahin hain vaise badi ma all these gifts''

She asked as they saw plenty of gifts placed on the table and

Sa:''han beta actually sab jaldi jaldi meiin fix hua na tou main aur padma aj shopping gayye the kahin kuch reh na jaye time kam hain na so these all gifts are for armaan's family and relatives''

She said and then riddhima just excused herself as she is feeling shy hearing all her engagement talks so she just

R:''mumma mujhe bahut bhookh lagi so I am going to have dinner anjie tu bhi aja''

And anjali nodded and bothe the friends proceed to have their dinner while samriti and padma again got busy with preparations and all. Its late night when both anjali and riddhima are sitting in riddhima's room changed in their night dresses having their hot chocolates and

R:''so anjie ab bata kya bat hain?''

She asked catching anjali's attention and anjali looked at her suprised

An:''kaunsi bat ridzi''

R:''vahi jo tu mujhe kehna chahti hain par keh nahin rahi humare beech yeh hesitations kabse aa gayyi anjie''

She said looking towards her and anjali looked at her she knows she can read her like open book but still she tried

An:''aisa kuch bhi nahin ridzi main tujhse kuch kyun chupaungi?''

She said giving her smile thinking riddhima will convince but she is riddhima

R:''hmm I think meri hi galati hain jo tu mujhse ab kuch share nahin karna chahti. Main hi apni life mein itni busy ho gayi thi ki maine dekha hi nahin teri life mein, muski aur nikki ki life mein kya chal raha hain I am so sorry anjie main achi dost nahin hun I am really very sorry''

She said feeling guilty as she knows past few days are really hard for her armaan's accident and then the Bangalore trip and somehow armaan becomes her priority and she feels she did not give her time to her friends and she is so much guilty for this and hearing her anjali immediately hugged her 

An:''ridz please aise mat bol you are world's best friend aisa kuch nahin hain hum jaante hain yeh last few days tere liye kitne tough the please''

She said and riddhima looked at her as she cupped her face 

R:''tou fir bata na anjie kya hain jo tujhe pareshan kar raha hai?''

She asked and anjali sighed and then she finally

An:''actually ridzi mom wants me to answer about my relation with atul''

And riddhima looked at her as she speaks up and she pressed her hand conveying her to continue

An:''par main confuse hum ridzi abhie bhi I mean atul is good guy par marriage is huge step ridzie. I mean we like each other but love I don't know. Mujhe pata hain jo bhi ladki atul ki life mein ayegi she will be luckiest girl in the world, vo ose palkon par bitha kar rakhega. Par I am not sure about myself ridzi agar I mean main is rishte mein 100% na de payi tou you know na I am practical person aur atul dill se zayda sochta hain''

She ended putting her dilemma in words in front of her best friend and then riddhima cupped her face in her palms making her look at her

R:''main samajh rahi hun anjie tu kya kehna chahti hain aur yes marriage is the big step. Par yeh jo tu keh rahi hain na practical aur atul dill se zayda sochta hain its all just matter of thinking anjie. Koi bhi perfect nahin hota see life partners hi balance karte hain I mean see agar tu zayda practical hain tou atul emotional hokar balance kar sakta hain aur vice versa. Ab mujhe hi dekh le mujh mein kitna bachpana hain aur vahan armaan mujhe complete karte hain I mean he handles the situations maturely. So this is not the thing to worry tu bas yeh soch ki kya tu atul ke saath life spend kar sakta hain that's all baki sab tou apnein ap ho jaata hain''

She said truthfully and anjali looked at her best friend and before she can say anything they heard one voice as

A:''yes sali sahiba apki dost bilkul sahi keh rahi hain relationships means accepting each other's flaws and then walk with them gracefully. Aur if you guys complete each other in every other senses then these things are secondary anjie''

He said as he entered in the room and both anjie and riddhima are surprised seeing him but anjali has smile on her face hearing them as both cleared her doubts then hugging riddhima and then armaan she

An:''you people are just awesome meri problem solve kardi thank you jeeju''

She said giving armaan a hug and armaan smiled and then

A:''anytime sali sahiba vaise I will say its champ who is going to lucky to get a gem like you''

He said winking at her and then anjali speaks up as

An:''vaise jeeju ap yahan I mean''

A:''ab kya karen jab koi humein kuch inform karna bhul jaye tou aise hi ana padta hain na''

He said giving her glare and riddhima is shocked for a moment she did not understand him but then it clicked to her, god she is in trouble. And sensing that something is there anjie excused herself

An:''main abhie ayi ridzi mujhe badi ma se kuch kam hai''

She said and left the room closing the door behind and as soon she left the room riddhima looked at him as he leaned on the door and riddhima then gulped and

R:''I am sorry armaan actually na''

She fumbled and stopped and armaan gives her the look and

A:''yes riddhima go on I am hearing so please go on''

And riddhima gulped her saliva hearing his cold voice and

R:''armaan please I am really very sorry actually''

A:''yes riddhima I know you are sorry but for what? Infact I should be the one who has to be sorry. Main hi galat hun na maine jo tumhe restrict kar diyya, that you have to inform me when you reached home safely Its all my fault. I should not have done that par kya karun dar lagata hain I feels so terrible when I did not received your message but its ok I will try to change myself''

He said in hurt tone and riddhima is now feeling more guilty he is already so insecure and after his mom's fiasco he turned more insecure she knows, still she hurt him and she just runs towards him and takes him in her arms as she speak softly near his heart with tears in her eyes

R:''I am sorry armaan please main bahut buri hun sachi mein bilkul nahin sochti hun apnein armaan ke bare meiin. Please armaan ap mujhe dantiye saza dijiye par please aise mat kahiye. Apki koi galti nahin hain. Maine hi apko message nahin kiya ghar pahunchne par jabki apne bola tha I am so bad aur apko kitna pareshan kiya na maine I am sorry''

She said and armaan hugged her back enveloping her in his arms as her tears fell on his shirt and he too has tears in his eyes and he buried his face in her hairs and

A:''main dar gayya tha jaan jab main surgery se bahar aya tou I checked my phone immediately to see your message but when I did not find any, I got panicked jaan fir I thought may be you pages me or maybe you leave any message at Nurse Station but did not. So I just tried calming myself. And I tried calling you par tumne pick nahin kiya. Tou mujhe bahut dar laga jaan isiliyye I just come rushing there aur in between when I talked with ma and when she tells me that you are at home and fine then I feel little relaxed''

He said as he holds her tighter and riddhima can understand what he must go through but she did not know why he is feeling insecure this much but pushing her thoughts aside she keeps on holding him takes him to the bed and makes him sit there rubbing his back she untangled herself and then makes him sip some water and she looked at his face. His face clearly showing how much tired he is and worn out and she feels like kicking herself to makes him worried like this. Then she wiping his tears try to get up when armaan holds her wrist and

A:''kahan ja rahi ho?''

R:''armaan main apke liye kuch khane ko lati hun ap Sanjeevani se yahin aa gaye kuch khaya nahin hoga na apnein''

She said and armaan looked at her true he is hungry but right now he did not wants to bother her already he makes her terrible as he shouts on her just because of his insecurity and

A:''nahin riddhima its fine mujhe bhookh nahin hain aur is time tum jaogi tou everybody will get disturb too''

He said and riddhima then noticed the time its 2 o' clock in midnight god he comes at this time from Sanjeevani now she can understand how much he is worried so she just quickly gets up then

R:''nahin armaan main abhi ayi please armaan''

She said and then kissing his for head she makes him leave her wrist went from there to fetch something for him to eat. And on her way she saw anjie is there in guest room and seeing her she

R:''anjie I am sorry mujhe nahin pata tha armaan ke''

But she is cut short in between as anjali speak up as

An:''mar khayegi chup I can see something is bothering to him go to him now hum bad mein bat karenge''

R:''you are best''

She said hugging her and riddhima hugged her back and

An:''I know chal good night''

And she left from there taking food for armaan as soon she entered in her room she said armaan is sitting there with his closed eyes and he is slowly pressing his temple and she wants to kill herself for making him worried like that then controlling her emotions she

R:''armaan khana kha lijiye ayeiye''

She said making him open his eyes and armaan looked at her and seeing him so tired she 

R:''ap rehne dijiye armaan main khilati hun apko''

And armaan did not refused even as once as he is tired and hungry too so riddhima quickly settled beside him and then start feeding him with her own hands. And armaan start having his food. And after few minutes making him finish his food riddhima 

R:''armaan ap change kar lijiye''

She said as she moved away from him and went to her walk-in-closet to get a fresh pair of clothes for him and armaan just followed her not saying any word and soon he is in washroom to get change, meanwhile riddhima goes to put the dishes away. After few minutes she is back with his favorite hot chocolate in her hands only to find him nowhere in the room. First she thinks may be he is still in washroom, but as soon her gaze fell on washroom door she finds it little but opened indicating he is not there. Riddhima feels panicked seeing him no where then her gaze fell on the glass door that leads to balcony is opened and she thought to check him there. Yes he is there standing leaning on the railing looking moon. She sighed in relief then she moved towards him and hugged him from behind and her hands landed on his chest as she puts her head on his back. Armaan first was startled as he did not expected this from her but soon he calm down and holds her hands over his chest then riddhima feeling him holding her hands speaks up softly as

R:''ap yahan kya kar rahein hain armaan''

A:''kuch nahin riddhima bas asman ko dekh raha tha''

He said looking at the star and mood filled sky and riddhima smiled then after few minutes of silence

A:''riddhima''

R:''hmm''

A:''I am sorry jaan''

He apologized and riddhima is surprised with his sudden apology so she just asked as she comes face to face him and

R:''par kyun armaan''

A:''main kuch zayda hi chilla diyya na tum par''

He said feeling guilty with his rude behave and riddhima smiled then she cupped his cheeks in her palms and makes him look at her as he is not looking at her she

R:''par mujhe tou nahin lagta ki apnein mujhe zayda danta hain infact apko tou mujh par aur chillana chahiye tha. Meri galati hi itni badi thi na''

She said making him shocked and armaan just

A:''riddhima kya bol rahi ho tum''

R:''sahi hi tou keh rahi hun armaan dekhiye na maine kitne irresponsibly behave kiya. Mujhe ghar pahunchte hi apko message drop karna chahiye tha na, itni rat ko apko kitna pareshan kar diyya na maine bekar mein hi. Kitne tired the ap. Par armaan sachi mein main jan boojh kar nahin kara vo actually mujhe kafi dinon se anjie badi down si lag rahi thi so we just come home together aur oske bad mere dimag mein se otar gaya armaan. I am sorry armaan age se aise nahin karungi I promise''

She said with so much innocence that he can never resist and she looks so innocent too

A:''I know jaan you can never hurt me purposely aur I am sorry too for over reacting''

He said and he pulled her in a hug and riddhima hugged him back and they enjoyed each-other's presence in each-other's arms then after few minutes he

A:''I love you jaan''

R:''I love you too''

Then untangling himself from her he speaks up 

A:''acha riddhima ab main chalta hun bahut der ho gayyi hain''

R:''exactly bahut der ho gayyi hain ap yahin rahenge kahin nahin jayenge''

She said holding his hand and armaan looked at her then

A:''par riddhima acha nahin lagta na abhi humari sagai honein vali hain sab kya sochenge aur ghar par bhi bhabhi intejar kar rahi hongi na''

He said thinking about everything but riddhima just smiled and makes him sits on the bed and handled him his chocolate fudge and

R:''oski chinta mat kijiye maine bhabhi ko bol diyya ki aj sab mere yahan ruk rahein hain so she said ok''

She said and armaan smiled at her as he makes himself comfortable then he saw her taking her some file and then he asked her as he picked up her specs too

A:''kya kar rahi ho jaan?''

R:''kuch nahin armaan ap rest kijiye its been a long day aur main anjie ke pas ja rahi hun good night''

She said and armaan is surprised hearing her then he holds her wrist stopping her in midway 

A:''par kyun riddhima you can sleep here na this is your room''

He said looking at her and riddhima shakes her head as he did not get her point so

R:''nahin armaan main yahan nahin so sakti though its mine room, par apke saath yahan room nahin share kar sakti. Sab kya sochenge so please abhie ap so jayiye bahit thake hue hain na''

She said explaining him and armaan understands what she is saying so he nodded then riddhima just bends and kissed his for head making him smile and

R:''I love you armaan''

That brings a million dollar smile on armaan's face and he just kissed her wrist that he is holding and

A:''I love you too jaan''

He smiled and then riddhima left the room covering armaan in comforter. Here riddhima reached guest room where she finds anjali sleeping peacefully, she smiled at her then she snuggled with her but sleep is miles away from her eyes. Today's small incidence makes her so anxious 

R(in her heart):''armaan abhi bhi kitne insecure hain na humare rishte ko lekar. Par oonki bhi kya galati hain kuch atmosphere ne onhein aisa kar diya. Aur kuch maine onka dill dukha ke kar diyya. Main janti thi ki armaan thode se insecure hain mujhe lekar par itnein insecure hain yeh nahin janti thi main. Humare pyaar ne onki insecurity kahin na kahin kam tou kar di hain par khatm nahin kar paya hain. Pata nahin yeh dar armaan ke dill se main kaise nikalun ki vo mujhe kho denge. Kaise jayega oonke man se yeh dar aisa kya karun main jis se onhein aisa dar na lage''

She did not know herself when with all these thoughts sleep too over her and she sleep. 

Suddenly her thoughts breaks with some sound and she looked here and there and finds the window opened and outside the snow is falling. She gets up and wiping her tears she closed it

R:''I am sorry armaan main kahan tou apki insecurity dur karna chahti thi kahan apko khud se dur kar ke maine apki os insecurity ko sacha sabit kar diya. Aur tou aur maine apki princess ko bhi apse dur kar diyya I just hate myself''

Then she heard one faint voice and she reorganized it immediately and she runs to the room where armaan and their princess is and there she armaan is moving his fingers. And she froze seeing that sight, she needs to do something very fast before it got too late.

Precap_

Ar:''aap jo pas aye mere''

aapse jo hui dosti

khawab sajne laga dill ko lagne laga

A:''jab meri pyari si jaan tou bhukhi hain tou main kaise kha lun''

He kissed her hands.

R:''mere nanhi si jaan aapne dada se dur nahin hona chahti main jaanti hun par baby aapki mumma ki ek mistake ne sab finish kar diyya''

She cried.

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Thanks for all your love

Lots of love and regards

Nikita