Originally posted by: Onyourface
I have a confession to make - I love you 
Their journey had never been a rosy ride, it has always been a roller coaster ride , the journey from the realisation of love to getting the courage to accept it to finally getting the strength to confess it and then accepting each other as lovers , it has been a complicated but a beautiful journey indeed. Why is it so difficult to realise our own feelings? Why is it so difficult to come on terms with it? Why is it so difficult to accept our own emotions? Why is it so difficult to make others understand our feelings? Why an emotion like fear comes naturally bundled with the emotion of love ? Wish it was as easy as saying - I have a confession to make - I Love You
It was a happy day for mishbir after a long time, finally it seemed like their efforts paid off, Meenakshi apologised to everyone on how she let her ego come between her sons' emotions, how she is finally accepting kuku rishta, how last night the fear of losing abir changed her , last night changed something for mishbir too .....
"Excited toh hun, lekin vo maa kal tak itni naraaz thi aur overnight maan gayi , strange kal aur aaj mein aisa kya farak tha"
"Tumhari mom badal gayi abir , kal toofan aaya tha na " when it comes to meenu , mishti loves to be a little passive and who wouldn't, when meenu is in her sweetest avatar , we can't help but just admire
" arey vo meri maa hai, koi mobile ka signal nahi hai ki toofan aaya toh kamzor padh gaya " he knows his mom too well, if only he could explain things openly
"Oh God, I mean kal tum nahi mil rahe the na, toh unhe laga ki unhone tumhe kho diya hai , aise extreme situations mein log badal jaate hai abir " mishti was trying to connect her situation with meenu
"Kal tum bhi toh usi toofan mein thi , tumme kya change aaya ? Kya tumne koi bada decision liya hai ?" Today I will make her speak no matter what
"Aaaa aa main kyun lungi koi decision? " not again not again , he can't initiate this conversation
"Decision mat lo , jawab toh de do , tum mujhe kal toofan mein bachane kyun aayi thi" and she knew today she will have to answer this question , bhaag ke kahan jaogi angry Chorni
Aur surkh ho gaya hai sharam ka gulaal bhi ,
Siddha sa jawab do , siddha tha jawab bhi ,
Jo leech layi tumhe toofan mein mere liye,
Us dosti mein mila tha kya ishq ka khayal bhi?
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Those memories were still fresh in her mind , when time played another game with them, when abir was stuck in a huge cyclone, that's when mishti real feelings surfaced again yes again, just the thought of him being in danger, tbe thought of losing him made her so restless , what if she lost him forever , that night the sight that she saw just pierced her heart, it almost felt like a part of her soul is going away, abir struggling to get out of the car , her struggle to hold his hand , thar broken peice of glass right inside his chest , blood all over his body, it was the scariest night of her life, only she knew how they survived
"Abir please tumhe nahi pata tum kab se so rahe ho , uth jao , mujhe tumhari nazron se painting vali ko dekhna hai " says a restless mishti to abir who was lying on the stretcher in an unconscious state ..those feelings that she kept inside were all out , time doesn't wait for anyone , when he wanted to say , she wasn't ready to hear , when she wants to hear , he couldn't say ....
Isiliye jo kehna hai aaj kaho ,
jo karna hai aaj karo
Kya pata kal vo log na ho ,
Kya pata kal vo mahool na ho ,
Kya pata kal vo kal hi na ho.
FIghting against all odds, she saved him but she was still scared , thinking that he was unconscious , she poured out her feelings holding his hand "Mujhe pata hi nahi tha ki mujhe itna dar lag sakta hai jitna kal laga tha , vo kaanch , tumhari car , agar hum time se nahi nikalte toh, tumhari car blast ho gayi thi , tumhe kuchh ho jaata toh "
"Toh , mishti batao toh , itne kharab mausam mein cyclone se ladh kar , tum mere peeche kyun aayi , is sawal ka jawab dedo aur main tumhe bata dunga meri painting mein kaun hai " ..... his eyes were more intimidating that his words, why this question made her speechless, what is stopping her to accept her feelings.
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"Bade papa ne shaadi ke liye haa kar di "
"Haa ab jaldi se yahan aa jao taaki mein tumhe apni painting vali se milva saku "
Only he knew how long he waited for this moment, the emotional struggle that he went through, from being in denial mode then in confusion then letting the friendship and time take over and then finally finding the right time to espress his real feelings, he still remembers those days when he realized his feelings
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"Bapuji hamesha kehte hai mann se nikli aawaz sidha mann tak pahuchti hai , abir agar maksat sachha ho toh bhagwan bhi madad kar dete hai , ankhein bandh kar ke soch lo , apne aap samajh aa jayega ki kya banana hai" says parul maasi to a confused abir who just didn't knew what could be a perfect masterpiece, shutting away all his thoughts he closed his eyes to make the best painting of his life, he just decided to follow his heart , unknowingly his heart gave him an answer, an answer he wasn't really looking for , or was he ?
Reality struck him hard , surprisingly or shockingly mishti was his muze, and more than that , was she the one he always loved ? He never knew when he started feeling for her , the realisation of love brings different feelings for different people , it's not always a necessarily happy feeling for everyone , for abir it was a mixture of happiness, sadness, confusion, fear, guilt , shock , surprise, all together at once, it was tough to say which emotion overpowered him , he just couldn't say anything, but those tears expressed tons of undefined emotions ..... the only words he remembered then were a warming by bade papa "mishti se dur rahiye" ....and he started rubbing off the colours , he wasn't even sure if his feelings were even morally correct ? Is he really going to follow this path ? Is he ready ? Is he courageous enough to speak? Is she courageous enough to hear ? Is the world ready to bear the consequences? Is this the destiny or is this something against the destiny? If only his life was simpler, if only he could find his answers all at once.
" agar voh dekh leti toh, vo kya karti , pata nahi main kya karta , I just hope jab tak main ghar jaun, vo vapas jaa chuki ho , main usse is waqt face nahi kar sakta " love knocks at our doorstep when we least expect it ....Why ? how much ever he tried to wash his face and clear his thoughts , the vibes aren't really going away , he knows he has to face it one day, he just can't run away, emotions are put to rest , only when they are expressed either through words or otherwise.
"Vo teri dost hai na abir " says naanu
"Ek tum hi toh mere dost ho" says mishti
"Vo aapki dost hai na bhai " says kunal
"Mishti se dur rahiye" says bade papa
"Dost , vo teri dost hai , vo tere bhai ki hone vali wife hai , yeh painting kuch nahi badal sakti kuchh nahi " saying so he makes an attempt to burn the painting, more so an attempt to burn his new found feelings for her but again before he could do so the candles blew off , he knew his boundaries were just confined to friendship , but what he thought as something to be against destiny , who knew that was his only destiny !!
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"Main jaanta hun yeh painting meri zaroorat hai , par vo zaroorat kyun hai , mujhe nahi pata, main jaanta hun is painting ke saath mera gehra rishta hai , lekin yeh rishta kyun hai , mein nahi jaanta, jab tak is sawal ka jawab mein khud nahi dhundh leta mein ise kisi ke saath share nahi kar sakta " this was the phase when he was still coping up with his inner struggles , he wanted to explore the feelings, find his answers, but how , wish he knew the answers beforehand.
"Abir main samajh nahi paa rahi , yeh rishta tumhare liye strength hai ya weakness , tum khush ho ya dukhi ? " she knew there is something that is really bothering her and it has a connection with that painting, she didn't even realise when his troubles became her struggles.
" honestly speaking mein bhi nahi samajh paa raha "
"Agar tumhe yeh sab figure out karne ke liye help chahie toh kya tum mere pass aaoge? "
" main sabse pehle help ke liye tumhare pass aaunga mishti "
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She always knew there is something about the painting that mesmerised her "ghar jaisa, simple sa sidha sadha lekin bohot khoobsurat " the lines just touched her heart, she also knew how important that painting was for him , that's why she didn't mind jumping into the fire to save it , for the world it was just a painting, but only she knew that the painting meant the world to him , sadly she didn't knew she was that world, and he didn't knew how important that world was for him ... a pool of emotions they faced.
Dard tha mere hisse ka , dard se lekin wo guzri, Mere khatir ek ladki aag ke dariye mein utari,
Dil ne kab ka paigaam bheja tha , ab jaa ke vo mila , Benaam thi uljhan seene mein ab jaa ke use naam mila
"Main mishti ke liye aise kab feel karne laga , siddhi siddhi baat thi ulaj kab gayi? Tu is rishtey ka naam dhundh raha tha , ab naam mil gaya toh le nahi paa raha, kya karega abir , yeh rishta tere samajh nahi aa raha , tu dusro ko kaise samjayega ?" that's when his inner voice replied, he imagined mishti his inner voice , he imagines his own advice to take that 1% chance , will he take ? What abir wanted to do was going against a wave , it takes a lot of courage to do so , will he take that big step ? Yes he did , taking his balloons, his signs of destiny , he finally decides to speak up
Mujhe pata hai waqt galat hai , mujhe pata hai haalat galat hai,
Mujhe pata hai ishq ke tohfon jaise yeh jazbaat galat hai
Phir bhi chandni raaton mein hai ek sawal jo jagta hai
Hai yeh sab itna galat toh pyaar sahi toh pyaar kyun lagta
But everytime he tried to face his reality, the other reality strucked him hard , was he still ready to face the consequences, he thought letting out our feelings can be the easiest thing in the world , when did that become a difficult task for him ?
"Hume is rishtey ko naam de dena chahie mishti , main gordhana ke liye taiyaar hun "
"Kya tum gordhana ke liye taiyaaar ho ?"
"Meri taraf se haa hai "
That's when he realized he is going against the destiny , the two most important people in his life had already taken the decisions themselves , he and his feelings will ruin it all for the three of them....may be his feelings were always meant to stay within , that painting was always meant to be hidden , until one day he saw her diary, he got a glimpse of her feelings , he realised she has unknowingly started feeling for the "person" that actually he was , that wasn't really love but definitely the fondness that she has for the "person"
the kunal that she had imagined was actually abir , once again he tried to share his feelings , and that's why he came back only to realise that mishti and kunal have their own battles to fight , somewhere he was also responsible for the complication,
can he really complicate the already complicated ? Just like he took his own time to realise his feelings, doesn't she deserve the time to realise her own feelings , can he again unknowingly push her in another relationship just because he feels something for her , would he like to repeat the same mistake again ? What if it actually destroys the friendship that they shared , they say time heals everything then let's give some time. Again is this the time to confess his feelings? She wasn't ready and so was he.
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"Abir jab mujhe painting dikhayega toh main kya kahungi " she is going to face a beautiful reality today , she already knew she is the painting vali , she still remembers how accidentally she saw herself as his inspiration , as his love , overwhelming was an understatement to define her emotions...
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As their friendship progressed, mishti's admiration for abir increased , she didn't even knew when she started thinking about him , when he became so important to her that she started following his words., ehe she started liking the time she spent with him , unknowingly he became her go to person ..Day by day her curiosity to solve the "who is painting vali" mystery increased , what was so intriguing about the painting she didn't knew, but every word about the painting vali made her feel connected because of admiration that abir had for her , was she getting jealous? No ways why , why should she get jealous, did she desired to be the painting vali , no no not at all , who said that, when did that happen , but still she wanted to know, was there someone in abir's life who was as important as her , or more than her , oh wait what is she thinking?
One day kuhu decided to run away from the house, mishti knew the situation would worsen and so she decided to meet abir, since abir wasn't picking her calls , she just decided to meet him , staying true to her name and stealing jugnu's uniform , she enters his room only to accidentally see his painting , and that moment her world just froze , she couldn't take her eyes away from that painting .... parul massi's words came true abir ke mann se nikli awaz siddha misbri ke mann tak pahuch gayi.
"Yeh painting , exhibition ka centre peice jisse abir sabse chupa ke rakhna chahta tha " her heart started collecting those memories "Main itna jaanta hun ki uske saath mera bohot gehra rishta hai "
"Vo meri baat kar raha tha .......... abir"
"Abir mujhe pasand karta hai usne meri painting banayi ?? " ..... she said while tears flowing from her eyes , there was so much going within her that moment.
Normally when you know a guy has fallen for you you feel happy ..you jump in joy you dance ...do all crazy things...but mishti .. .. she was just calm , couldn't really find words to express herself , she gets shocked and surprised that actually there is someone who likes her, who is somewhere inviting a future with her , who is accepting her with all her flaws, who isn't trying to change her or expecting anything from her but wants to embrace her just the way she is, is that even possible? can someone really love her like that ? Did he always love her ? Was he talking about her? Was she the one who is sharing the gehra rishta with him , is that true ? She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realise she left one nishaani, her cinderella shoe at his doorstep! She feels she is not worth it .she is still underconfident about herself...If we go back in the time and analyse her ..we know why she gave such reaction ...imagine a 12 year old girl...who is suppose to enjoy studies make new friends explore hobbies..is suddenly left by her mother, her father who now uses her name to get money from others , a grandmother who has abandoned her without explaining her anything, suddenly the rainbows and butterflies around her just vanished , she was not small to not know what is going on but not big enough either to understand it , imagine the confusion and pain she must have gone through. We can say she could move on but childhood scars aren't easy to forget , when we see back we have wonderful memories of being a child, when mish sees back, she sees only darkness filled with betrayal and pain. Sometimes I believe that the courtship she demanded was not because she is modern n all , but because she knows when a couple breaks off, more than that those two individuals ...those who are dependent on them suffer...
Whar she said to Abir in the car " ki chahne se kya hota hai... vahi hota hai jo kismat mein hai "this shows she somewhere has lost the hope for herself, may be she feels guilty and why wouldn't she.....tell me who openly except for bade Papa and Abir told her that what she did was right...people made her feel she was wrong.. directly or indirectly..just blamed her. May be that's why that moment she felt ..uska kuchh ho nahi skta. ..kuhu ka to ho jaye..ek Insan blame krna bandh krega kam se kam.
That time the feeling of unnecessary guilt had filled the space inside her heart to an extent that she wasn't letting the feeling of love take over , because the heart was already overloaded with other emotions, sadly for her , love had to struggle to make a place for itself. Strange na, both of them realised their feelings of love at the time where there was a huge volcano of emotions that was going inside them !! Oh why is love so complicated ?
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Mishti was nervous at his best , so much that just the thought of going to rv house gave her gud gud sensations in the tummy, kuhu had to literally drag her to get up and get ready , on top of that, Abir and his reactions weren't really helping her , she purposely tried not to look at him , but she could feel his deep brown orbs only and only fixated on her , uffff that wink , isn't he aware about their surrounding, slowly as he started approaching her , she literally felt those goosebumps, and she again runs away, but she knows she can't avoid it for long , the time has arrived when they are finally to accept what they feel for each other ...
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"Nahiiii mishti mere saath chalo" says abir in his deep husky voice with eyes fixed at her , the deadly combination of his deep bright eyes and deep husky voice just froze her , she forgot what she was trying to say , that's the effect he has on her , the world around her just goes blank
"Chalo varna uthana padega !! " he said while trying to pick her up , was that an ultimatum? Was he trying to intimidate her ? Huh.. Where is her magenta I mean brown belt ? She knew where this conversation will go , she knew she is the painting vali, the volcano of nervousness and excitement going on in her heart , It almost felt like her heart is gonna jump out anytime , a part of her was always ready to hear , a part of her was still in denial mode , but as they say don't run away from love , run towards love because there lies your heart , this was the time for the muze to hear from the artist himself
Always being the source of strength, today she was going all weak on her knees , she just couldn't manage to look at that canvas, there was so much that she wanted to say , but just couldn't , but she definitely wanted to hear him out
He came closer , and his next set of words just gave her goosebumps, it was almost like her mind went blank , all she could hear was " jab mein aankhein bandh karta hun toh mujhe sirf uska chehra dikhayi deta hai , meri dil ki har dhadkan sirf usi ka naam leti hai , mere kaano ko sirf uski aawaz sunayi deti hai , uska naam hai ......" with his every word her real feelings started pouring out so much that she still couldn't manage to see him , her emotional volcano of nervousness and excitement was at peak...but before she could address her feelings, her nervous self decided to back out " mat batao mujhse nahi hoga " she said looking at him, those were the only set of words she could manage to speak, saying so she ran away , actually she wasn't running away from him , she was running away from her own self , leaving behind a confused abir, did he cross his line ? Did he say something that he wasn't supposed to ? Did he hurt her ?
Jitna tu jaegi usse durr...Waqt laega tujhe uske utna hi kareeb
Nai Mita paegi chahe koshish karle....kyunki khud rab ne likha hai teri kismat mein ek Rajvansh Ajeeb
As they , when its right, its right, everytime when mishti goes through emotional struggles , she ends up following his words , when she came down, she gave a thought to herself, does she really feel the way he does , that was her moment , distancing herself from all the distractions around her , she just decided to feel his words , she wanted to know who accompanies her thoughts when she is all alone , was she walking or was she letting her heart take the steps ? and then she closed her eyes and hear what he had to say "jab mein aankhein bandh karta hun toh mujhe sirf uska chehra dikhayi deta hai , meri dil ki har dhadkan sirf usi ka naam leti hai , mere kaano ko sirf uski aawaz sunayi deti hai " ... and while his heart echoed his words , all she could see was him and only him and only him , that was her moment , her moment of joy , happiness, overwhelming experience to find someone who she loves and he loves her back " mujhe abir se pyaar ho gaya hai , I love abir " her moment of acceptance , her moment to live, and all this being witnessed by abir himself from the balcony , who was keenly observing her and with her every step of acceptance , came his happiness , his joy, his overwhelming experience to feel the love.
For the first time after a set of struggles , finally the acceptance of love brought them sheer joy and happiness. Finally the artist and his muze came across each other in the real sense.
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Pyaar vo jo uthna sikhaye, girna nahi
Pyaar vo jo taakat bane ,kamzori nahi
Pyaar vo jo asha laaye, nirasha nahi
Pyaar vo jo ibadat bane, nasha nahi
Pyaar vo jo kabhi hasaye kabhi rulaye par zindagi se kabhi thakaye nahi
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, and that's when Abir's impulsive nature to protect those from that pain he personally understands exactly, emerges! BOOM! Abir's huge punch at Naman, as he tries again to go behind Mishti to scratch those old but still deep n sensitive wounds
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