Abhira Using Reverse Psychology|| DT WARNING P.15|| - Page 4

Originally posted by: nivi26

Are you a behavioural psychologist with years of practice to propose this nonsense claim?

No, not years of practice coz I am still a student. I am currently studying psychology in correspondance along with my regular mba as I have always been fascinated by the subject.

Also one doesn't need to be a psychologist with years of experience to make this statement.You simply have to be a viewer with a neutral unbiased perspective on the story and characters and not someone who is blinded by the love for a character to an extent to not see their flaws.. This is more than suffice...

This post has nothing to do with who is legal or deal wife and who is Arman's ex or his love. This post is about the behavioural traits that Abhira knowingly or unknowingly exhibits.

If you look back the method that Ab used to go back to college was all a form of Reverse Psychology. And as such this concept isn't bad. But when used as means of manipulation and gaslighting then its definitely wrong.

In any legal marriage whether arranged or love there is a sense of equality between the partners. Where one person doesn't feel indebted on the other person for giving shelter, food, Education fees and daily count the ehsans like Abhira nor the other partner reveals at every instance that his every action and care stems from the fact that someone sacrificed their life for him like Armaan... So Ab and Ar might be legally married but the foundation is a very forceful setup which makes them different from normal husband and wife.... So until and unless they themselves move from the just zimmedari phase and actually consider their relationship, there is no point in this debate.

At this moment, Ab isn't self sufficient and is fully dependent on Ar. In such a scenario the least she can do is be humble and have gratitude in her heart.The previous post by Manny beautifully summed this... The fact that she is indebted on him is takin a blow on her ego. It's simple "Those who want do something, they do it... They don't TALK about doing it nor make a big deal out of it"..

When Ab has the money and intention she can repay instead of making a fuss about signing papers and indirectly guilt tripping him by saying lines like she is an orphan with no one and no money...

Also what's the point of blocking me and sharing your thoughts if you don't want to hear other's opinion about the topic...

In marriage as couple , if both are working or one is working the expenses are taken as normal thing not as credits daily by partner because its the start of new relationship and they have to live that way adjusting to each other. Problem is not accepting shadi and mentioning as bhoj and within one year alag hojayenge or thode din alag rahenge when situations are not favourable. When everything is pleased sudden kiss in emotional ride for someones happiness or suddenly falling in love when hubby is giving money. Writers way of falling in love depends on their mindset i feel.Atleast stop the dialogues of deal shadi or bhoj jimmedari or making lists of debt and repayments. Like manny told its all in staying humble and understanding, giving respect.

Marriage does not give some one rights to harrass or use some one for their own benefits. There are many real life cases where women cheats on her husband. Just because she is married to her husband she has no rights to use her husband for money and avoid performing duties of a wife.

Similarly abhira is just tied to him for an year. She is not performing any duties as a bahu or wife as her major focus is only on blaming random people, spoiling Armaan's relation with his family. Falsely accusing head of the family which is directly created negative publicity for her.

Giving hope to his ex that armaan will back to her after a year then dreaming about same guy in a romantic way.

Showing mixed signals to ruhi( his ex/chitwali gfs friend as per abhira) that she is his wife for an year and trying to claim haq on him. Rather than focusing on her education and career.

She has been screaming so many times to tell the world she is not his wife. And when she has already seen two ppl(armaan and chitwali gf(she does not know it's ruhi)) have sacrificed their love for her as a sane person it's her responsibility to free armaan from this mess as soon as possible to give him his happiness back.

There is a saying if a love comes back to you then it's yours. So ab should follow that let armaan go. If he wants let him come back rather eyeing on him and dreaming about him even though she knows he has someone else in life and chitwali gf is waiting for him.

Your post is all about psychology and behavioural traits yeah?

Ok ever heard of environmental psychology?

Let's take an example of the biggest freeloader in Poddar house - Ruhi.

Ruhi literally had no relation with her husband of perhaps 1 month? Even though Ab doesn't know about why Ruhi chose to stay in the Poddar house, Ab is observing what kind of bekaar life Ruhi is leading inside. Ruhi has no ambition, she literally contributes nothing to the Poddar household yet she is living aaramse in that house without giving a dime...

At least Ab's marriage with Ar will last a year, so Ab DOES NOT want to end up like Ruhi, who is taking advantage of just 1 month marriage. Self-respect is important for her. It's not about the ego. She just can't live the freeloader life Ruhi is living. For her, even though she has absolutely no proper relation with Ar, she has to pay back everything by monetary terms.

Your post is talking about emotional manipulation, which from my unbiased perspective when I see the scenes play out is non existent. Nothing about Ab asking Ar to sign the papers has anything to do with any kind of manipulation, she is just salvaging her self-respect. Anyone who is not a freeloader and has an iota of self-respect will do the right thing by promising to pay back. And in my opinion, Ab does not have to because she is Ar's legal wife. Even if it's pretense for these two, legally she is not obliged to pay back and he is allowed to take care of her expenses.

This!

I am saying this from many days. Ruhi directly bolti rehti hai ki woh akeli hai vagera vagera and same chiz abhira slyly karti hai ki not rich like you, not having money like you, Purane kapdo mai sabko holi khelna chahiye like her, krish ko money offer karte time bhi like she has nobody to call her own (indirectly I am akeli same ruhi style) in the house vagera vagera vagera.

Resort ka koi chota amount toh hoga nahi, jis tarike se woh faltu ka sign karvane ka act kar rahi thi like next 2 years mai sara paisa de degi waise behave kar rhai thi! Kuch bhi bakwas kar rahi thi and uper se she is not super rich so damage repair khud se karo jisme maine armaan ko kaam karte hue dekha, abhira ko nahi. Agar armaan se he uske resort ka damage repair karwane hai toh paise nahi paise nahi ka rona kyun ro rahi thi, armaan se karwane se acha tha armaan ke paiso se karwati.

Regarding abhira's share in her mother's maaykawala's property, Agar akshara ke paas kuch hota like khud ka gold property anything to ek will banaya hota just to notify abhira yah directly abhira ko de diya hota gold vagera.

Aise mai abhira ko jo bhi property mai milna hoga woh sirf abhira ki mummy ke maaykewalo se mil sakta hai. Apna khud ka ek ghar tak abhira ki mumma ke paas nahi tha aisa dikhaya hai yaha.

Abhira ki mummy ke maaykewale(goenkas), uski mummy ki mummy ke maayke wale(singhanias), uski mummy ki mummy ki mummy ke maaykewale (Singhanias) yehi sab log hai jisse koi bada wala hissa shayad mil sakta hai. Waise I am also married and except gold woh bhi jo muje pyar se nanihal se mila hai during wedding, I can't imagine my property share from meri mummy ke maaykewale , meri nani ke maaykewale vagera vagera Seriously aisi bhi married girls hoti hai jinko gold ke allawa, apni mummy ke maaykewalo se,apni nani tak ke maaykewalo and apni super nani ke maaykewalo se bhi property share milta ho !!!! Meri nani ke maaykewalo se toh mera sirf wedding functions mai milna hota hai, meri nani ke maayke walo se property hissa expect karna i can't imagine!!!

Meri Bahot sari marwadi friends hai and all are super rich too lekin unn sabko jo milega woh straightly apne khud ke parents se milega (gold sabko mila hai apni nani ke waha se), Lekin mummy ke maaykewalo se(goenkas) , mummy ki mummy ke maaykewalo se(singhanias) , mummy ki mummy ki mummy ke maaykawale (maheshwaris) in sab se toh kisi ko property he sidha mil gaya ho aisa suna nahi hai.

edited for discussing gen 3 storylines & moral policing

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

I feel people should accept the help or promise to repay rather than sign a contract paper to guilt trip other people. This time she knows how Armaan is. when he can't even say truth to his family always feels guilty for whatever he does usko kya hi bolega. Either pay and show that you don't take any favors or stop pretending like you are independent whereas you need help for everything.

She had an option to take his account number and pay it. She knows she can't save her mom's restaurant alone so either she should let it go or if she is so attached she should take help as she has no other option. But she chose to act like she is sufficient to save her mom's house.

If I was in her place I would have accepted his help and paid him in monthly installments or would have taken a loan from a bank by keeping the house on a mortgage paid him completely and then paid the loan rather than guilt-tripping him.

Diyaaa yeh bahot sensible/mature act nahi ho jayega?!!!

Originally posted by: sweet_tania

Diyaaa yeh bahot sensible/mature act nahi ho jayega?!!!

haha true

Firstly in many parts of the country, wife stays with her in laws even after her husband’s death… in mhrw, pallavi stayed with her in laws… so Ruhi staying with poddars is no way wrong or an offence… her reason for staying could be Ar but initially Manish accepted the marriage proposal because Poddar was a big joint family who could give her the family love that they couldn’t provide and true to his words Ruhi is adorned by everyone especially dadisa… so what’s wrong in it…

Instead of observing Ruhi or any other family, Abhira should focus on her studies, go to college and get a degree and complete the deal as she herself says she is bhoj thrown on the family…

Ruhi has completed her studies and as mentioned by Manish helps him in the business… when makers haven’t bothered to show Ab studying or going to college except once or twice, there is no possibility that they will show Ruhi working… the statement was said and should be presumed like once in a while ab says she studies but is never shown…

From when did housewives become freeloaders? Ruhi, Vidya, Manisha no one is freeloader in Poddar house…

but but, Abhira can be called one as ab and Ar themselves don’t consider this marriage as real but a deal… ab herself says all her expenses are borne by Ar and she has to pay it back as they are in a deal and considers herself a bojh… so right now she can be called a freeloader… let them accept their relationship then it will be a different story….

Any person with an iota of self respect will payback
the amount received when they have money not speak and make a big deal about paying… let’s see after all this makers really show her paying back or not…. They already showed her being dependent when everyone kept saying she is funding for herself… makers kisi ke sage nahi hote, no one knows when a character gets butchered…..

edited for moral policing

Also this is for informational purpose. Environmental psychology is irrelavant to this dicussion. It cannot be taken to discuss mental and behavioural aspect of humans. It is mainly concerned with human's behaviour and envrionment as in physical environment applied in city planning, architecture, environmental sustainablity etc.

edited for moral policing