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And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home,
I keep dancing on my own
I keep dancing on my own
"Why don't you just leave me?" Avilasha tried to reason against the marriage that had given nothing but pain to them. "Why don't you just file a divorce?"
"I can't and I wouldn't." Her husband answered.
"Why not? We are not happy together and this marriage doesn't work. Its just an excuse of the marriage that was to happen. I am not happy and I know, you aren't either."
"Divorce goes against the contract clauses and I want nothing to jeopardize the contract."
"Why are you being so shallow? Does the contract mean everything to you? We could get out of this hell right now if this contract wasn't this important to you!" Avilasha expressed her frustration which lead to angering her husband. One minute she was standing near him and the next, she was pinned up against the wall nearby.
"Don't you dare put the blame on me, Avilasha! Don't you dare show yourself as a victim when you are anything but that. Because of you my brother ran away, I had to marry you forcibly and now you act all good and ask for a divorce. I will not give you one!" His dark brown orbs penetrated into hers and she shivered in his arms.
Avilasha looked up to the man she had married. He once was her best friend. A person she could feel safe with but, right now she felt anything but safe under his scrutinizing gaze. He was the person who would always stand by her. Not today thou. He hated her now. And his reasons seemed justified too. His accusations were right. Thou Avilasha tried to run away from the thought, it hit her every time. She was the reason her ex fiancee had left her at the alter. She was responsible for the mess that they were in.
"And don't you dare complain to me about the contract" he continued, his grip on her arms growing stronger. "Yes the contract is very important to me. Its because of the same bloody contract I have been stuck here in this marriage with you so I am going to follow the bloody contract."
Avilasha winced at the sound of his harsh tone which made him leave her arms. He quickly turned away, not wanting to witness her tears.
"Where are you going?" Avilasha asked after a while, finding him getting out of the room. "We need to attend a party."
"You go. I will not be joining you." he replied as he prepared to leave.
"Where are you going?" Avilasha asked for the last time.
"I don't know." He replied. But he did know where he was going and the sad thing was, she did too.
...
Shahida gently applied the red colour stick to her lips. He hated when she wore a lot of make up. In fact he hated her wearing make up at all. He said she looked more beautiful without them, something about natural beauty. She smiled fondly remembering him, shaking her head feeling stupid for gushing over someone like a high school girl.
The only difference was, she never did chase after boys in high school or before that or after high school. Of course there were times when she felt attracted to someone, but she concealed her feelings every time. She was not made for love. However with him it was different. He treated her the way no one had. He loved her the way no one could or no one would.
But,
'He's married' her mind tried to reason her every time he came near her but her heart didn't care to listen.
Shahida pinned her hair in a bun, laughing at the irony of the situation.
All she had asked for was love. Being able to fall in love and get love. Being able to live happily with her love. And what was she blessed with?
She did fall in love. He fell in love with her too despite knowing all her hidden secrets. But they weren't meant to be happy together.
It was unfair but that was what her life had been. Unfair. She had to walk around hiding who she was and sacrifice a lot of things in life which were easy for other people. It wasn't for her. It never was.
Shahida pinned the beautiful red saree to her shoulder as she glanced at the mirror.
Dress up like a woman.
She slipped into her high heels.
Walk like a woman.
She gave herself one last look and smiled satisfied.
Laugh like a woman. Behave like a proper woman.
Her parents voice rang on her ears every time.
She was the only child to her parents. The Junaid house had buzzed with excitement and happiness, the day she was born. Not being able to have a child for a long time, her parents had longed each second for her. Everyone had happily announced "Iqbal Junaid has been blessed with a daughter!" That was until the truth came out.
She wasn't their daughter. And though they had treated her and nurtured her as one, she was never meant to be a daughter.
Shaking away the negative thoughts away from her mind, she moved towards her door, knowing he would be here any moment now. Every part of her mind screamed that it was wrong, her waiting for someone who had been tied to another woman was wrong but every inch of her body longed his touch. She couldn't wait to fall into his arms. Somehow she let her temporary happiness take over the permanent guilt that had tarnished her conscience.
I am Shahida Junaid, a child to my parents but not a daughter, a lover to my boyfriend but not his wife and this is my story as the other woman.
...
Avilasha tried to smile as she looked around the party. Every one seemed happy. Someone kept stopping by time and again asking her where her husband was. She came with an excuse each time. Her eyes never leaving the clock. She knew he would come. He did every time.
As she tried to blend in the crowd and disappear, a face caught her attention. Avilasha couldn't help staring at the person.
Her heart fluttered when the person looked back at her and gave her a smile. Avilasha knew that person. It was a familiar face. She couldn't seem to put her mind on it, but she knew the person. All she remembered was one blurry wild night of her life.
Finding Avilasha staring shamelessly, the person walked towards her. Avilasha had to hide her blush as she the person winked at her.
Avilasha couldn't deny the strong feeling of attractiveness that overcame her every time she caught the person's eyes and she couldn't help it. She felt attracted to the person and something else which she didn't feel for her husband or her ex-fiancee despite all the times she had tried to.
And as the woman in front of her held her hand out for Avilasha to take, Avilasha couldn't help the butterflies on her stomach. Taking her hands on her own, Avilasha heard the woman speak out,
"Hi I am Jasleen. And you are?"
Avilasha. I am Avilasha and this the story of me, my husband and the other women.
Two girls who are different from the rest of the world and this is their story of winning their respective love while accepting their own true self and respecting themselves as they truly are.
..
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