AjNa ss: From Heartbreak to love updated part 10 pg13, 26/09/15 - Page 5

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darrish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: moonlitnisha

]Awesome Update Rish...How can u write so beautifully...OMG U portrayed both Ajay and Sanju's feeling so beautifully.They never showed sumthing Like this in the show.I sooo wanted sumthing like this to b shown They didnt even Show Sanju and Ajay missing each other Properly .Cvs r so busy Rushing their Story...Anyways You story is like a life support System atleast to me...plsss Update soon and Yes Ur story actually brought tears in my eyes.I could imagine Chandni and Kabeer in front of me...Iam feeling proud of Myself dat I encouraged u to start dis afterall No body would have wanted to miss such a beautiful piece of writting..

Thank you😊. I have always said that I did not get enough of Ajay's feelings being portrayed, we saw Sanjana's but they always held back on Ajay.
darrish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: ...Tiana...

Wonderful Update Rish👏

I loved the concept of Sanjana being independent😃 Hope they show something like that in the show too.

Better to see office politics than kitchen politics😆

And the ending where she pretended to be strong but broke down as soon as he left was sad.

Loved it😳 Do update as soon as you can😃

Thank you😊. Yes I don't like kitchen politics either.
darrish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: smileee

Another lovely part!! Loved Sanjana trying to be independent, Thanks to Sanjana's dad for guiding her in a good way, you describes pain of two Broken hearts beautifully.. Fate has its own role in bringing two hearts together, eager to read next part to know what happens next in their life..

Thank you😊
QueenofGreen thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#44
Hi!

Great effort so far.

However, the dialogue is so hard to follow when it's all clumped together in one paragraph.

Maybe, you should try a new line for every new speaker.

Hope you're okay with constructive criticism.

Looking forward to reading more.
darrish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: Propinquity.

Hi!


Great effort so far.

However, the dialogue is so hard to follow when it's all clumped together in one paragraph.

Maybe, you should try a new line for every new speaker.

Hope you're okay with constructive criticism.

Looking forward to reading more.

Thank you. I am and will do.😊
pratyay thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#46
loved your os..beautifully scripted. with this epic drama going on in the serial currently, your os came as a fresh breath of air...thank u...hope cv's show scenes like this
darrish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: pratyay

loved your os..beautifully scripted. with this epic drama going on in the serial currently, your os came as a fresh breath of air...thank u...hope cv's show scenes like this

Thank you😊. Yes it helps me feel better to write it too.
darrish thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: Virman2013

I felt bad for them both

it will get better eventually.😊 thank you for reading.
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Posted: 9 years ago
#49

Originally posted by: aniiee

This is so beautiful!!!

Thank you!😊
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Posted: 9 years ago
#50
Part 4

Ajay sat in his car in silence, staring out at everything yet seeing nothing but her. She didn't even look at him. Never turned around. Why did it hurt him so much? Wasn't this what he wanted? This is the reason he insulted her so badly.

"Good job Ajay, you got what you wanted, she hates you. Now I understand what they mean when people say be careful for what you wish for".

Saying those words he closed his eyes as a single tear escaped. Wiping it away he headed back to the store. When he got there Bushan and Amar were talking about the orders for the next day.

"Ajay, did the order reach on time?" Asked Amar,

"Yes bhaiya.". Ajay answered with a half smile and sat down at his laptop to continue his work. A few minutes later his phone rang, the display said "Ajju USA". Ajay sucked in a sharp breath and for a moment he considered not answering. Sliding his thumb across the screen he tried to sound as happy as he could

"Hello Ajju, it has been a while, how have you been?"

" Ajay do you know how many times I tried calling you last week? You didn't return my calls. Didn't you see my missed calls?"

Ajay didn't know what to say so he lied, "No Ajju, I didn't see any calls, must not have connected properly."

Ajju seemed to believe him "Oh ok, that is alright. I was calling to tell you that I would be coming back early to visit since I got a holiday for one week. Isn't that great?"

Ajay stood there in shock. "Ajay? Are you there?" Ajju asked after a prolonged moment of silence.

" Yes I am here, that is great bro, looking forward to seeing you. "

He said hoping Ajju couldn't make out the fake happiness in his voice.

"Yes I can't wait to see you, Mama, Mami, everyone at home and Sanjana."

" Sanjana " Ajay chimed in on reflex,

"Yes, Sanajna." Ajju replied.

" Did you speak with her?"asked Ajay.

"Nahin Ajay, I can't seem to get through to her, must be the connection problem you were talking about."

Ajay sighed in relief. "That's ok, I will tell her, but Ajju there is something you should know"

Ajay then proceded to tell him about the family finding out about their contract marriage and how Sanjana was asked to leave. He also told him about the divorce leaving out some important details which Ajay didn't think was necessary, such as Sanjana's changed feelings for him. Ajju was happy to hear that Sanjana's father did not object to their marriage anymore, but Ajju didn't know that he wasn't the one he had to worry about objecting to the marriage. Ajay knew he had to make sure she didn't do that.

"When would you be arriving?"

Ajay asked wanting to know how much time he had to fix this before his best friend got here. Ajju replied next week.

"Ok see you then. Bye. "

Saying those words Ajay ended the call. What was he going to do? He had to talk to Sanjana, convince her she had to still marry Ajju. He will not be known as the guy who stole his best friend's girlfriend. He had to talk to her but how? Will she even listen?

"Ajay are you ok? You look worried? Is something wrong with the website?" Enquired Bushan.

"Nahin Bhaiya, everything is fine" replied Ajay faking a smile.

Later that night Ajay was on the terrace in deep thought. Memories flooded his mind. Memories of Ajju and collage days, of how happy his friend was with Sanjana and of how much Sanjana hated him then. He smiled to himself thinking about their stupid fights. He remembered how scared Ajju was of losing her, and how he had promised to help him get his love. Then he remembered his times with Sanjana and how their hatred they had for one another became friendship and then... No , there can't be anything else, Ajay thought to himself. He has to convince Sanjana.

"Ajay".. Startled by the sound of his name Ajay looked up to see Ayush.

"Yes bhaiya do you need anything?" Enquired Ajay.

"Yes, I wanted to know if I can ask you a question? "

"Sure bhaiya, go ahead." Looking him directly in his eyes Ayush said

"You are in love with Sanjana aren't you? "Ajay's eyes widened and he quickly looked away before saying

"No bhaiya I do not love Sanjana, I only care about her as a friend."

"Really? Just a friend?" asked Ayush. "I don't believe you." Ajay looked at his brother ,

" I am not lying, I don't love her." Ayush walked up to Ajay and placed his hand in his pocket and took out Sanajana's mangalsutra and held it up in front his face.

"Then why do you carry around your friend's wedding chain? "Ajay looked at his brother in shock. How did he know about that?he thought to himself before saying,

"I must have forgotten it in my pocket, that is all." Ayush looked at his brother and shook his head.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

" Doing what ?"Ajay said, pretending to not know what he was talking about.

"Why did you divorce her if you are this much in love with her, especially when I am pretty sure she loves you too. "

Shaking his head Ajay replied "There is no love between me and Sanjana, we are just friends. That's it! She is Ajju's girlfriend and his future wife."

Saying those words burned his throat but he knew, that it is how it must be.

"Ajay listen to me..."

" Ayush bhaiya ,please there is nothing like what you think and I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Ajay then proceeded to his bedroom and closed the door , leaving Ayush staring after him wondering how he was going to knock some sense into him, if that is even possible. Ajay closed the door of his bedroom more determined than ever to set things right for his friend. He had to speak to Sanjana as soon as possible.

As usual, let me know what you think.😊

Edited by darrish - 9 years ago
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