Epi 215-
I was so frustrated, that I had to rant it today! Disclaimer - It's excruciatingly long ! Brevity thy name is not woman
BEST PART OF THE EPI - Ani getting CALLED OUT for his Actions !This was the need of the hour, no actually LONG OVERDUE!
And harsh as it was, it was the very mirror with every single fact - a bitter truth! What he should have done, after the call-out, is walk up to Arshi, admit to her that he has been emotionally cheating her, for quite sometime now and gracefully ask for her forgiveness.
And understand her fully, if she is not able to forgive him! Make the honest effort to 'call off' the wedding - because there is no love left in it, from his side!
Also,a relationship this long, deserves this respect, no matter whether it is Arshi or some vamp in front.
It's not just for her, it also for your ownself , that you would want to come clean and give a relationship that closure, instead of playing aankh micholi !
A lot of times you out-grow a relationship , because your wavelengths, that matched at 22, do not match any more at 28. There does not need to be a 3rd person coming in and breaking it for you !
1.Most times 'how' we are 'depends' on the 'situation' we find ourselves in ! Change the 'situation' and we might go back to how we used to be !
I would like to believe that the ‘compulsive liar’ that Ani has been reduced to, is a recent phenomenon, that happened with the advent of J.
Given an easy choice, he would choose ‘truth’ over ‘act’, if he could afford to. All the lies, dhong, act, jhooth,dhoka, facing the music and getting grilled by the family, sometimes seeking an ally in Sandeepda or Chhton is largely to either protect J, keep her safe or save her from zillats !
It’s never hell ya I woke up and felt like lying today. And while It’s NEVER the right option, but have we not resorted to white lies or hidden the truth, because it delivered a greater good? If J has not understood this, then it is conveniently good on her ! She can suit herself!
Na J hoti aur na Ani ko jhooth bolna padta. Hunky dory sa life nikal jata Ani ka!
2.Words are the most powerful tool that humans possess, in a relationship. Use it the right way, to deliver your point and you will get the right impact, you want from it.
Use it the wrong way and it might spell doom. A speech achieves it's desired impact when it is the right combo of 'content' and 'delivery'.
Plus,I have the right to criticise your wrongs, when I have the heart to adequately appreciate your right actions !
Also, real constructive feedback comes with "hey you have been doing this, which is very wrong" and I believe this is how you could avoid/improve. The bold is important coz it shows the intent of not only you pointing where I am going wrong but also attempting to guide/pull me out of it !
Way better than just saying "you are a piece of sh** and you can get lost" !
J knows the impact her words have on Sirji, he got almost killed in an accident once and aap marna chahte ho qki maine apka insult kiya hai?- during fever night.
So if she expects that her words should positively stir Sirji to do the right thing, was 'how' she said things, the right way of saying it? 'What' she said,was nothing but the truth, unfortunately 'how' she said it, fully satko'ed Ani !
Ab hume ek sarfera, borderline irrational Ani dekhne ko milega, who will do even more wrong! J wants a all kurbaani Mr.Anirudh Robot Bose but an eye sore Mr.Anirudh Frankenstein Bose will be rendered instead ! But J should be happy coz Sirji is finally romancing her Arshi didi !
This kiddish attitude, we have seen before , from Ani, a few times now. Tit for Tat ! God Save us from some serious torture !
Similarly, we have seen J pull a 'performance' with AK -"Dhyan se dekhiye Sirji, ab aapko samajh mein nehi ayega ki main acting kar rahi hu ya sach hai" So J is not alien to the concept of "performances" either.
I would have liked it if a 'neutral' woman called him out. It could be Arshi,Shrishti , Bipasha, Tanuja even us women as viewers !
But I am sorry, I do not find J with a strong foot to stand on and call him out,coz in this web of jhooth, fareb, act, natak, dhong, she has been a partner to it , to an extent !
If Ani is being shown the ayina, J should be shown the same ayina ! In my eyes, both of them have jointly given dhoka to Arshi didi , in numerous occasions.
However,if this is J's balance sheet of maine 4 bar jhoot bola hai aur Didi ko dhoka diya hai vs aapne 14baar, so you are at a bigger fault, hence I get to show you the ayina, fir baat alag hai !
What J was today to Anirudh, is what Shubho and Tanuja have been all along to him ! Actually worse, coz in all this, J knows he does not love Arshi and he loves J!
His EQ is in the negative, J tossed it outta the window ! Ap koi rationality toh na milne wali Ani se ! Ufff !
What J could have possibly done better, "Agar aap Arshi didi se pyar nehi karte ho, toh aap unhe jake bata do aur yeh shaadi tod do" - that is what a good guide/friend would do, provide a way to do things better, while calling you out. But use to kurbaani ki devi banna hai so I am sure PDA dekhke she will be fula na samaya!
A few nagme s that J mouthed today -
"Baki kuchh yaad rakhne layak nehi tha, aap bimar the, kuchh bhi bol rahe the uss waqt" -This she said to him about his 3 ILUs and everything spoken on the fever night. And she talks about "respecting" others?And not “insulting” others? "Berehem" might not do justice to this !
"Shaadi jab aap kar hi rahe hai, toh usme pyar hona chahiye" - So zabardasti putting words in Sirji's mouth, that you love Arshi didi ! And making him participate in her novel kurbaani !
I will not talk about the"dhoke se shaadi ki aur sindoor mita diya" coz every few seconds, I hear her say how her shaadi could not be more naklier !
Even with the virtual shaadi, Ani had maintained, he would try find some one and it would be an act.Ani never said he was doing the virtual shaadi because he thought the initial shaadi to be real -
Plus to say this for a marriage that a man did for a near stranger, so that he could ensure she is safe, by jeorpardising everything he had in life, to both sayning this shaadi is not for real and to now blame him with "apne dhoke se shaadi ki"
So her shaadi monologue was appalling and it cracked me upcoz this is where I lost her and lost to her, completely !
For Ani,I find him trying to be honest to this one relationship, this one person. ForJ, she has not been true to anyone, neither Ani nor Arshi didi nor her own self !
J jaisa pyar mujhe zindegi mein kabhi kisi se na mile, I am better off with out such love, jo tab uday hota hai jab, I am on my death bed !
Like J rightly said, Ani has a long journey ahead and it starts with coming clean with Arshi, J has a long journey ahead, to prove that she is worthy of Ani's love !
Arshi deserves some one better than Ani and Ani deserves some one better than J !
Now coming to ‘performance’. Why is J shell shocked by this? Did not Ani say to her , in Kashmir, that he would ada all ‘farz’ , keep Arshi happy to pacify his family and keep them at bay from pointing fingers at J.
This is the reasoning and plan he used to convince J to tag along to Kol, coz he knew “main Arshi didi se shaadi karke khush reh lunga” would cut it for J, but “Main tumse pyar karta hu J and main Arshi se shaadi nehi karna chahti” would not cut it for J and convince her to come to Kol. Coz J ko sachka samna kaha karna hai?
Didn’t on the day they reached Kol, and she stops him from saying his ‘dil ki baat’, he mouths “Main aisa performance dunga ki tum dekhke hairaan ho jaogi, ki main Arshi se kitna pyar karta hu” – was this in Hebrew that it did not register in J’s mind?
Why DID she not call him out on the 2 occasions above already?Why only now after the performance? Qki jali na?
Ani has lost it, he does not know what to do with this one person that hold the strings of his breath! So he comes and validates with her, as promised, I delivered the performance, tumhe achha laga? Tab jake woh speech nikli, jo do din pehle nikalni chahiye this with rejecting the offer of coming to Kol, with this reason as the base!
Now with the questions she has asked Ani, I would like to ask a few to J –
1. Why did you go on a date with Arshi didi’s honewala pati?
2. Why did you put a ring on Arshi didi’s honewala pati? You could have given the ring gift wrapped to Ani, in front of all as your mom’s Ashirwad. Did Ani hold you at gunpoint?
3. Why did you hug him back – your Arshi didi’s honewala pati during fever night? He was not in his right senses, but you were?3 bar resist and 4th time give in? Exactly why?
4. Why did you let Arshi didi’s honewala pati do your patti, let him take off your dupatta at the hut, hold his hand at the time of injection and at Tejas’s mandap, mouth a monologue about “apko mera sarr sehlana chahiye tha Sirji, mujhe iske zarurat thi” ?
5. Why did you come back to BH, when you know pretty well that your presence could wreck havoc in your Arshi didi’s shaadi? Specially coz Sirji has confessed ILU to you. Did you have a side expectation, that with Ani’s confession, he might follow it through with breaking off with Arshi didi and choosing you in front of the world? Is that not ‘ditching’ Arshi didi?
6. Why do you ask Ani, where will you stay and how will you figure things out in Mumbai? That’s your own battle and is not anybody else’s business right? So why consult him? Go and fend for yourself. Coz if he does, he will get to hear “aapne mere liye yeh q kiya, aap Arshi didi pe focus kijiye na”. Toh, aapko Ani ka help aur attention chahiye bhi aur nehi bhi?And when he does come up with an immediate solution, with out much thought put in, that ensures you would be safe, you accuse him with “keep” ? Ani se help q maangna, why not try Laal , Shubho ok ok Chhoton, Jethu for a change? Ani toh shaadi ke taiyyari mein busy hai na, usse baksh q nehi deti aap?
7. And if we were to assume they have done the deed, was it a disservice to her Arshi didi or a service to the ailing delirious Sirji? Qki she is too mahaan to do a service to her own self and happiness na?
Or do you consider Ani to be your part-time husband or maybe Ghulam? 6 to 12 aap Arshi didi ke husband, baki time mera pati !
Beimaani ke is game mein, imaandar toh aap bhi na the? So much double standards for the only one you can truly call your own? Coz time and again, he has proved why he is the only one you have.
While Ani has a lot at stake name, family, society, an age old commitment and a lot many more things to lose, J has only one thing to lose–Ani !
With her selective mahaanta, what is glaring is her selfish desire to play along. This that they have ventured into, is a joint dhoka on Arshi didi. And I would have considered, if one or two instances were jazbaato mein beh gaye, but I saw no real pashchataap for her Arshi didi either !
And while I want him to say “I love you” to J, in his senses and take it up from there, any guesses on what J’s reaction would be? Since she is averse to facing the truth she might leave him for ever, which is what he dreads most! Some instances where Ani tried , results we know!
1. HUT : I consider this wedding to be true –please aise baat matt kijiye
2. TRAIN : Main yeh shaadi sach manta hu – mere pass aur bahut sare problems hai , yeh baat matt kijiye aap
3. KASHMIR : Kya tum yeh sindoor accept karna chahti ho? – BILKUL nehi main laalchi nehi hu
4. Bday Date invite when Ani says I am the king of the world, Ani mentions toofan – J has a monologue – mujhe aapko rokna hoga, main kisi bhi haal mein aapko yeh kehne nehi de sakti
5. While eating mudur pulao – Ani tries to confess,J goes don’t say anything that would make me uncomfortable
6. Inside the train, Ani says ILU – J develops selective hearing at that very moment- GodSent
7. Fever night – Ani says ILU, J’s stance bawra ho gaya be, bukhar se
8. Back to BH 1st night – Main tumhe apne dil ki baat batana chahta hu. J goes aapne promise kiya hai aap Arshi didi ke sath khush rahenge.
God helps them who help themselves. And God might stop with opportunities, when they are turned down so often! Who in their right minds would want to confess after so many rejections already?
I want Ani and I am sure J wants this too from Ani, to climb up a TANKI and Eilaan e Ishq from the top of it and then jump off !
Jaise Sirji on death bed, we will see the J , who will be off, all of the above “mukhotas”!
For a long time now, I looked at J as Ani's love and just let her be! I don't have any expectations from her really ! But I just could not today !
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