Armaan sat slumped on his bed, trying to process what had happened in the past few days. He was amazed at how methodically Abhira extracted herself out of his life. However, he couldn’t blame her. It was his own doing in a way. Confessing to a third person, the state of his marriage was the harbinger of this devastation. How he could be so obtuse to not realize the pain Abhira felt whenever Ruhi would bring up that their marriage was a temporary measure; and to not get attached to Poddar Mansion. The last straw was Ruhi following them to Missourie, and giving Armaan divorce papers. In all logical sense, what right did Ruhi have to do that? The only reason she had the audacity to do so, because he enabled her. He gave her reason by trying to not hurt her feelings.
How things turned upside down in an instant. All the grand plans he had of taking Abhira to his secret spot and sharing his feelings with her. Telling her how she managed to carve her space in his heart without his knowledge; but now that he looks on, he can’t fathom a life without her. She taught him how to live life, instead of always feelings apologetic and grateful for being accepted as a Poddar. She had worked to mend relationships within his house. She was the wind under the younger Poddars’ wings so that they could achieve the dreams they had once dreamt of.
If he compared her to Ruhi, Abhira stood out as the clear winner in terms of a balanced personality. While Ruhi had a pampered upbringing despite being an orphan, Abhira had faced many harsh realities in life. Yet, she never played the victim card. If she wanted, she could have trapped Armaan for eternity by reminding him day and night of her mother’s supreme sacrifice to save his life. However, this was a Ruhi specialty; blaming others for the troubles in one's own life. She had blamed everyone including poor Abhira for her own created sufferings. How could anyone be happy living a life with someone so needy and desperate?
He once again reread the letter that Abhira had left him. It sounded so mechanical, so dead, so unlike the lively Abhira:
Hi Armaan,
I’ve filed the divorce proceedings for us. Have a look at the documents, and sign them so that the papers can be finalized. This will also allow you and Ruhi, your chitwali to be together. Had you disclosed about Ruhi earlier, I would have started the paperwork right then. After Mussorie, and Ruhi’s doodling in her book as ‘Ruhi Armaan Poddar’, any half brained twit could figure out she was the chitwali ladki. With Rohit out of the picture, I am the only physical tangible hurdle in Ruhi and your path. Do not worry, you will no longer need to oscillate between Ruhi and I any longer. These legal papers are the way to clear that obstacle.
You may not have held your end of the deal we made, by disclosing to Ruhi. However, I have neither told the family about our deal wedding, nor your affair with Ruhi. I leave that up to you to decide what and how much to tell them.
Furthermore, I have kept track of the financial help you have given me. It may take time, but I will return every paisa that is owed, otherwise I will not be at peace with my ghairat and self respect at stake.
Finally, do not come looking after me due to a sudden surge of guilt of not completing your zimmedaari. My Mumma gave you my responsibility, and now I absolve you from it. If we meet again, it will be in professional circles.
Best,
Abhira
Armaan closed his eyes once again after reading this letter. It seemed so clinical, distant yet laced with sarcastic jabs at him; which he deserved. He would have never expected Abhira to be able to write something so cold. She is a warm person who radiates happiness wherever she goes. This means I’ve hurt her tremendously. I couldn’t even stay her friend. - thought Armaan.
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Working Women’s Hostel, New Delhi
Abhira had finished setting up her room. There wasn’t much to arrange in the first place. She had put away her books and clothes, along with setting up her small electric stove and mini fridge in the room. She made note to get some bedsheets and pillow covers when she visits the famous Delhi Markets. She thanked her presence of mind in asking her old childhood friend Usha to get these for her when Usha had come to pick her up.
Abhira felt low at night, nursing her tender heartbreak and betrayal of trust. To strengthen her resolve, she reread the initial letter she had written to Armaan. This letter had her angst, her hurt poured in. It was at the last moment, Abhira felt why should she even allow someone to see her vulnerability when they do not care about her, and viewed her as a bojh, an unwanted zimmedaari:
Hi Armaan,
I’m sure that by now you’ve relooked over the attached paperwork. Yes, I had to go through divorce route as annulment was too tricky, asking for too much evidence. Don’t worry, I have not staked any claim on your personal or financial assets. That is not mine anyways. That haq you have given to your chitwali ladki.
You may ask why filing now? Well, after realizing everything, I figured we were already late no? I am the hurdle between you and Ruhi. You are shocked, no? After the Missourie trip, everything made sense, that even a dumbo could realize that Ruhi was the chitwali you had harbored feelings for. Rohit has already left the picture. Main hi kebab mein haddi bani huyi hoon. Ruhi’s temperamental behavior towards me, her unnecessary nosing in my or rather our affairs and her, in frustration lashing out at me now makes perfect sense.
Armaan, we had a pact that we would not tell anyone the truth about our marriage. Yet you broke that pact by telling Ruhi. However, you had never trusted me with the fact that Ruhi is your chitwali girl. How can you talk about principles, Armaan? Anyways, I have not disclosed the truth of our marriage to anyone. You and Ruhi will need to figure out how to tell the truth to your family. That is not my prerogative.
Perhaps, if either of you had guts, then we all wouldn’t have been in such a quagmire, and Rohit would not have had to leave home. You both betrayed his trust. What had he done to you two? How could you suggest Ruhi to marry Rohit while harboring feelings for her? Additionally, how could Ruhi, who decided to get married, still run after you, and you could not do anything to set her straight? Of course you couldn’t, because of her rona dhona? Wake up and smell the coffee, not everything in life goes the way we plan it. However, when we come across unexpected situations, we do our level best to manage, not to throw fits or shut down feelings. We don’t play the victim card every time.
Don’t worry Armaan, we may not have had a contract sealing the amount of money I owe, but rest assured I will return you the full amount (which I have kept track of), albeit slowly and in installments. You may want to deny it, par meri Mumma ne mujhe sar uthakar jeena sikhaya hai, aur maine tumse udhaar liya hai, bheek ya khairat nahin.
Anyways, thank you for keeping me around for such a long time. Please do not come looking for me because of a sudden surge of guilt. If God wills it, we shall meet in professional circles. Aur mujhe waise bhi kya hoga, Hulk ki Mameri behan jo hoon.
Best,
Abhira
Next part: Abhira traces relatives through DNA testing
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