"listen to me as a woman" -- loneliness & pain

so like many I have been rather bored with the whole flip flop by arjun in regards to rajjo. however, seeing the episodes with kalindi and chirag deal with the aftermath of the cheating coming out in the open has made me change my mind.

first, a big clap to the creatives for creating a complex picture of a cheating woman. we usually have the vamp or the angel but hardly someone in between. kal is neither and is driven by complex motivations. when she explains how and why she cheated -- it was really moving especially as these emotions are hardly addressed in our serials. however, they are true and happen in many homes. it is a silent pain and not something talked about openly -- loneliness.

what I found most interesting is how kal told rajjo, "listen to me as a woman and not as his sister":

-- kal felt incredibly lonely despite being married to the love of her life. here she is supposed to be happy that she is pregnant and instead the opposite happens. her husband withdraws from her emotionally and she feels alone with no one to talk to. why does that seem like any oxymoron? because she is living in a joint family. but if you talk to women in real life, many will tell you privately that they have felt alone in marriage, in the family. they felt unseen, unheard and overwhelmed with emotions. they felt alone even though they are married and have a family.

-- if arjun had not been pushing her away and driving her up the wall, rajjo would not be able to understand the loneliness that kal was referring to. the loneliness of being in a marriage but having the husband shut you out. the loneliness of being in a house full of people but still not feeling comfortable to share your feelings. she got what kal was sharing because she is going through something similar. so when kal said that it was chirag who failed as a husband first, rajjo gets that anger because she feels arjun has let her down by not trusting her and doubting her integrity.

-- kal struggled to be a mother. she was brought up pampered and she wanted more out of her marriage except with our society, women are often expected to priortize their children and this means their other needs don't matter. so what if your husband is not interested in you or cares? you have your children is the attitude. here, kal felt it wasn't enough. she was neither prepared for the challenges of being a parent and she felt unable to do it alone. she needed chirag to be part of that journey especially as she struggled with postpartum depression.

-- likewise, rajjo really wants arjun to help her with the struggles of taking care of her mom. she is not prepared to be a caregiver and needs support but arjun is not being there for her even when she is asking him for help. she is able to get why kal felt abandoned by chirag.

-- when kal says how society puts women into boxes and expects them to act like robots, rajjo gets that because she really wants to be an athelete. however, arjun won't even let her run properly even though he won't acknowledge her as a wife. instead, he has boxed her in as a servant because of her status and she is stifling in that role.

-- kal fell for rocky because he made her feel alive, beautiful and seen after 6 years. he gave her attention which she was craving. so rather than a physical need, it was purely emotional. in many of the crime serials such as crime patrol, they often show loneliness as a key factor for women getting into affairs. so how many women are silently lonely and longing for the marriage to be more than in name? rajjo feels too the lack of warmth and the lonelines even though it has only been a short while.

-- when kal begs rajjo to take care of chirag, she tells her that she does not hate chirag and still cares: rajjo gets the duality. she is mad and frustrated with arjun but she can't walk away from him destroying himself. so she is stuck in this house listening to his nonsense.

intially rajjo is far away from kal but as she listens to kal, tears start falling. she even moves in to hug kal and comfort her. rather than exposing her, she protects her because she does not want anyone especially urvashi seeing kal in such an emotionally vulnerable state. that was so sweet. she even listened when kal admitted that she tampered with the bank document because urvashi knows. but rajjo didn't lash out or label kal as a bad woman or shut her down. instead, she truly listened and she was able to listen as a woman. why? rajjo was really able to do that because of arjun.

so friends, much as we get irritated and bored with arjun's stupidity, we can also see that rajjo has grown as an individual and as a woman where she is able to see things are not quite as black and white in something as complicated as marriage and relationships. due to arjun, she has been taught some tough lessons on what it means to be woman in our society and how that plays out in the role of wife. if it wasn't for arjun's stupidity, she would have never been able to relate and get what kal is saying -- there are layers. will the two become close as sisters? perhaps, creatives do have a plan to what they are writing!

if you see things in black and white, then cheating tracks can be very contentious in dramas. however, if you take a step back and see the layers that led to it, then you will see that it didn't happen overnight. sometimes, cheating is a symptom and not the actual reason the marriage broke.

kal didn't become a vamp or cheater in one day. it happened because she was unhappy for 6 years in her marriage. she felt like she was alone in her marriage. so yes, there are many who will not like the current track but I liked that the drama is showing that there is more to the story and it is not quite as simple.

so yes, I agree with you -- kal is neither positive nor overly negative, just a regular person with different layers and angles.

even chirag's reaction was so moving -- when he said that she could have just asked him for a divorce if she really was unhappy and wanted out, he would have protected her and taken the bad name. because they are not labeling kal as a vamp or a bad woman, they might be going for a far more complex arc. the actors are actually doing a good job with it and so we might get something reallly interesting and quite beautiful. lets see.

Marvellous writing. Kiddos to you dear .

As mentioned these kind of relationship are real . And many a times women adjust and find comfort in kids as they are taught for years to be like that . But in reality they are sad and depressed. This depression also is never accepted in common society . I have felt that depression as a clinical condition is accepted only in high class society . Fir common people it's "Mad". Luckily things are changing now as people are getting educated . But each dialogues said by Kalindi would be felt by many many women across the globe . Specially in India . As said affairs also happen due to this . But we term it as a big sin . I personally feel sometimes most affairs after marriage is a result of looking for mental happiness than physical. Physical can be minority cases .

Like you mentioned i have also noticed how they have kept the graph of Rajjo character. When shown with her mother she was a simple innocent kid . When ahe meets Arjun she was so innocent that she didn't fell any romantic feeling with his looks or touch . They ahd shown it so beautifully without those Dak Dak moments . Even when Arjun was drawn towards her she had her innocence . Remember that "dabocha " scene . She was so cut n innocent in her tone .

But when she got married to him accidentally and she realised she is all alone , she changed drastically from that innocent mother's pari to a tough girl who responded to every situation. She always held her self respect . Mostly they show Female lead as crying and suffering from all difficulties, but Rajjo was never shown like that initially( now a days they have started it....). Even when Arjun holds her physically she has always responded , she pushes him back .( than usual romantic eye lock and song sequences up in soap). Her character is a beautiful written one .

Celesti has done a phenomenal job too.

And now i feel may be Arjun's character is also not an imaginary one . There are men who are good but doesn't think and always goes by their mother and easily fall of others words , but doesn't listen to their wife .He is really a good man but can't fight against his family .so he easily hurts is wife as he thinks she can't feel sad or is a Robert with no feelings . That is done by many husbands.

Team Rajjo has actually done a greta job in bringing Kal -Chirag relationship which actually highlights major light to an existing social issue .

Even though many might not appreciate and still blame Kalindi character , i just loved it and felt she is true .

Hope they don't change Kal - Rajjo relationship just for story or Trp.

If they want negativity let them bring another cameo and so on...

thanks for explaining arjun's graph so well -- I have been thinking he is so silly but what you wrote makes so much sense. maybe the flip flop isn't as random as I was feeling. he is someone who gets easily swayed by his family and that will always be a problem because he sees rajjo as an outsider and he doesn't see himself as a team with her. and you are right, there are plenty of men like that. even after marriage, they still see themselves as part of their own family first.

and I also enjoyed how you put the graph on rajjo -- sometimes when you see a serial everyday, you forget how these characters have changed. 😆 so it is nice to read a reminder of how this lead has come. and she has come quite a distance. what is charming is that she is not stagnant and she is learning from her mistakes as well as her experiences. there is nothing more irritating than a FL who keeps making the same mistakes over and over and will not grow as an individual.

many of the audience will be able to relate to kal because loneliness is such a real problem. am also hopign they don't change kal and rajjo's relationship just for TRP. makes for a good break to see complex but loving/affectionate relationship between siblings, especially sisters. can we have a drama where we see two sisters support each other -- that would be really sweet if rajjo continues along that track.

Thank you for tagging me.

I loved your post,kudos to makers for weaving such a complicated relationship in form of KalChi.

And yes I completely agree that Rajjo has grown a lot as an individual,she is not that same naive Rajjo whom Arjun met,I am happy for her character growth.

I've just 2 issues with whole scenario,one that lead pair's story is not making any sense,secondly dumbing down of ML which despite character growth of Rajjo portraying her somewhere as self respectless,I think that they need to tightly write this misunderstanding and need to make Arjun and Rajjo's stand clear in this whole scenario which shows her as a woman with self respect but being tied down becoz can't see the man she loves being looted upon and Arjun's character right now needs depth,his puppy eyes to rajjo and than marrying urv at the same character assasination rajjo...🤯

Originally posted by: Nephy1

Thank you for tagging me.

I loved your post,kudos to makers for weaving such a complicated relationship in form of KalChi.

And yes I completely agree that Rajjo has grown a lot as an individual,she is not that same naive Rajjo whom Arjun met,I am happy for her character growth.

I've just 2 issues with whole scenario,one that lead pair's story is not making any sense,secondly dumbing down of ML which despite character growth of Rajjo portraying her somewhere as self respectless,I think that they need to tightly write this misunderstanding and need to make Arjun and Rajjo's stand clear in this whole scenario which shows her as a woman with self respect but being tied down becoz can't see the man she loves being looted upon and Arjun's character right now needs depth,his puppy eyes to rajjo and than marrying urv at the same character assasination rajjo...🤯

I totally agree with you; I have been kind of falling asleep on this serial because of arjun. why he is so unhappy with rajjo -- it wasn't like she made him marry her. he did that on his own. it also doesn't even look like he is desperate to get married to urvashi if it wasn't to please his mom. he is friendly but not in love with her and neither is he making the moves on urvashi. am not sure what the relationship chart is for these two -- are we looking at a triangle? an EMA? (technically he is still married to rajjo) what exactly is the arc supposed to be? it is hard to tell because both urvashi and arjun are basically faking their interactions. she wants his money while he wants to aggravate rajjo basically.

so what exactly is behind his reactions -- it has felt increasingly over-the-top. one moment, he can't stop staring at rajjo and another moment, he is frustrated and saying nasty stupid things that are often ridiculously illogical. how is this guy supposed to be running a business or kind of the junior head of the family? so we need a bit more depth to the main couple especially for arjun.

Originally posted by: Fruitbae

Marvellous writing. Kiddos to you dear .

As mentioned these kind of relationship are real . And many a times women adjust and find comfort in kids as they are taught for years to be like that . But in reality they are sad and depressed. This depression also is never accepted in common society . I have felt that depression as a clinical condition is accepted only in high class society . Fir common people it's "Mad". Luckily things are changing now as people are getting educated . But each dialogues said by Kalindi would be felt by many many women across the globe . Specially in India . As said affairs also happen due to this . But we term it as a big sin . I personally feel sometimes most affairs after marriage is a result of looking for mental happiness than physical. Physical can be minority cases .

Like you mentioned i have also noticed how they have kept the graph of Rajjo character. When shown with her mother she was a simple innocent kid . When ahe meets Arjun she was so innocent that she didn't fell any romantic feeling with his looks or touch . They ahd shown it so beautifully without those Dak Dak moments . Even when Arjun was drawn towards her she had her innocence . Remember that "dabocha " scene . She was so cut n innocent in her tone .

But when she got married to him accidentally and she realised she is all alone , she changed drastically from that innocent mother's pari to a tough girl who responded to every situation. She always held her self respect . Mostly they show Female lead as crying and suffering from all difficulties, but Rajjo was never shown like that initially( now a days they have started it....). Even when Arjun holds her physically she has always responded , she pushes him back .( than usual romantic eye lock and song sequences up in soap). Her character is a beautiful written one .

Celesti has done a phenomenal job too.

And now i feel may be Arjun's character is also not an imaginary one . There are men who are good but doesn't think and always goes by their mother and easily fall of others words , but doesn't listen to their wife .He is really a good man but can't fight against his family .so he easily hurts is wife as he thinks she can't feel sad or is a Robert with no feelings . That is done by many husbands.

Team Rajjo has actually done a greta job in bringing Kal -Chirag relationship which actually highlights major light to an existing social issue .

Even though many might not appreciate and still blame Kalindi character , i just loved it and felt she is true .

Hope they don't change Kal - Rajjo relationship just for story or Trp.

If they want negativity let them bring another cameo and so on...

Actually the show is more towards the realistic feelings.

Majority cases same thing or similar thing happen.

Innocent girl immediately bcm responsible after marriage and took the responsibility of each and every member of the family.

I think mostly Indian girls are like that.

Papa muma k saamne maasom si bchi. But otherwise a tough and strong girl for outside world.

Mostly men r still have muma thought. I m nt saying muma is bad or have wrong thinking but all have their pov to see the things.

So Arjun character is also realistic one.

May be many people don't like my pov.

Rest chirag and kal completely justified with the current track and can easily relate.

Can't saying kal is right or wrong. She is absolutely a human being and have feelings.

She knows chirag well and don't want to loose him either.

And always said chirag is toh ❤️ of the show.

He is not mhaan beta or bhai. He is also a human being with strong back and opinions

This is so beautifully penned out❤️

This was a great analysis. I haven't been watching Rajjo for a while now but now seeing this post, I am actually very intrigued. Will we now get to see Kalindhi and Rajjo joining hands? I'm all in for a character development.

Thank you for the tag.😳