Hi all! High time that butterfly has been fluttering around Ishani’s shoulders! We haven’t been subjected to Siddhant’s thoughts yet and I think it is the need of the hour. What he says is that an unbreakable friendship is better than delicate love. How many of you agree? Well, have a read and please write that opinion in the comments section which you will find hidden somewhere in your inner mind after you are done reading. We may judge, but it is very important to know the basis of our judgement. It has not been very easy to put myself in the shoes of the character and deliver emotions which have not been portrayed in the show yet. What I have written may not have an inch of a reflection in the show, but I think, with all the restlessness and buzz around,this may soothe the mind for a while!
Well, no more ‘Gyaan’! Please have a read and let me know POSITIVELY!
-Shikha
P.S. – If you do not have an IF account, please tweet to me.
ID – Shikha Singhania Mehra @agniss8
Here you go!
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SIDDHANT’S POV
Ishani.......
Pata nahi yeh kya ho raha hai, kyun ho raha hai. Jis din se tum aayi ho na, life kuch badal si gayi hai. Guddu ki harkaton ke alaawa bhi koi hai jiska gussa, jiski bakbak mere dil ko chhoo jaati hai. Tumhe yaad hai hamari pehli ladai? Koi dekhkar kahega ki hum dono ki ban sakti hai kabhi? Naa.
Tum jab chidh jati ho, tumhara gusse se laal naak mere hothon par ek anokhi smile le aati hai. Tumhaari in badi badi aankhon mein mote mote aasoon dekhta hoon to kuch bhi achcha nahi lagta. Hamari badti nazdeekiyan, mit-ti dooriyan...... Feels good you know.
Aaj kal tum thoda ajeeb behave kar rahi ho. Kabhi mujhe dekh kar muskurati ho to kabhi door bhagti ho. Mere hi god mein aakar girti ho aur mujhe hi peeche jane ke liye kehti ho. Aaj party mein bhi tum yun hi bewaja muskurati rahi. Yeh restlessness, yeh emotions......kaun si Ishani ho tum? Main to tumhe nahi jaanta. Mujhe to meri sarfiri, gussail first year resident hi bhaati hai.
Jaanta hoon Ishani, humaare beech yeh jo bhi hai woh sirf dosti to nahi hai......Dr Neil, Dr Aman, unhe lagta hai main maanne se inkaar kar raha hoon ki main tumse........hmmm. Meri taraf tumhaara yeh naya behaviour jo pehle kabhi nahi tha – mere chhoone se ab tumhe germophobic nahi lagta, mujhe ghoorte rehna, meri itni care karna......main jaanta hoon Ishani, tumhe mujhse pyaar hone laga hai. Jo insaan tumhe pehle jhootha aur farebi lagta tha, usi ke liye tumhaare dil mein sachchi feelings aane lagi hain. Yeh pyaar nahi to kya hai?
Yaad hai tumhein Ishani, uss din jab humein aur Dr Asha ko Dr Juhi ne bahar jaane ke liye kaha tha, tab kuch ladkiyan aakar mujhe blame karne lagi ki maine unhe dhokha diya. Haan, na chahte hue bhi maine tod diya tha unka dil. Main aaj tak bahut ladkiyon ko pagal karta aaya hoon, itne ki mujhe to last waali tak ka naam yaad nahi. Pata hai kyun? Kyunki mujhe yeh darr rehta hai ki kahi main kisi se sachcha pyaar na kar baithoon. Mujhe darr lagta hai ki kahi mera dil aur meri feelings mujhe control na karne lage.
Main tumhaare peechhe peechhe bhaagta tha, ab bhi bhaagta hoon taaki tum meri dost bano, apne chaaron ore tumne jo boundary banakar rakhi hai, use tod kar logon se connect karo – naye dost banaao, naye rishtein banao. Apne bachpan ke daraavne saaye ko bhulaakar zindagi mein khush dekhna chahta hoon tumhe. Inhi koshishon ke beech,thodi flirting, thoda sataana pata nahi kab mujhe achcha lagne laga. Tumhe dekhkar jo sukoon milta hai, woh kisi aur ladki ko dekhkar kabhi nahi mila. Tumhaara mujhe galat samajhna mere liye acceptable nahi hai. Mujhe achcha lagta hai jab aajkal tum mere chhoone par mooh nahi banati.
Aaj Guddu ne icecream gira di aur sabse pehla khayal tumhara hi aaya. Baaton hi baton mein achanak Guddu ne keh diya ki mujhe tumse pyaar hai. Pata nahi kyun Guddu ko naa kehne par bhi mera dil nahi mana. Dance to main Nurse Philo ke saath kar raha tha, lekin nazrein meri tum par tiki hui thi. Itna sab hone ke baad main kaise bas keh doon ki hum sirf aur sirf dost hain??
Sirf tum hi nahi, main bhi tumhaare liye kuch feel karne laga hoon Ishani – shayad usi din se jab se maine tumhe uss bachche ke saath baat karte dekha tha. Tumhaare saath baaki ladkiyon jaise flirt karne ka mann nahi karta. Tum ek din hospital aane mein deri karti ho to main ek minute mein kam se kam paanch dass baar ghadi dekhleta hoon. Pata nahi ye pyaar hai ya kuch aur, lekin agar pyaar hua, to main chahoonga ki ye mere dil mein hi kahi dabi hui reh jaaye.
Pata hai, mujhe mere baap ka naam hi nahi pata – school mein class ke doosre bachche mujhe chidhaate the, najaayaz kehte the. Hum society ke rules follow karne se kitna bhi inkaar kyun na karle, humein jeena to isi society mein hai na. Yahaan sarpar baap ka haath nahi hota to har mod par thokrein khaani padte hain. Yahaan jab Dr Rishabh ke mooh se najaayaz sunta hoon, tab taras aata hai khud ki taqdeer par. Maa ne kabhi mujhe mere papa ka naam nahi bataya, bas yahi kehti rahi ki woh humaare saath nahi rehte. Humhaare saath to woh nahi rehte, par mere dil mein zaroor reh gaye, mere khayaalon se door nahi jaate.
Maine pyaar ke rishtein bante bahut kam hi dekhe hain. Meri apni family adhoori hai. Kehte hain, insaan ki pehli seekh use uske ghar par hi milti hain, aur apne gharwaalon ke beech hi maine kabhi pyaar nahi dekha. Agar mere papa meri maa se sachcha pyaar karte, to woh kabhi hum dono ko chhod kar nahi jaate. Apne baap ka pata jaane bina mujhe sukoon nahi milega.
Mujhe isi baat ka darr rehta hai ki kahi main tumse pyaar na kar baithoon. Sachcha pyaar sirf kahaniyon mein hi achcha lagta hai aur hum kisi storybook mein nahi rehte hain. Pyaar sunne mein jitna achcha lagta hai, use sambhaalkar rakhna usse bhi zyaada mushkil hai. Mujhe darr lagta hai, agar main tumse rishta jod loon par use nibhaa na paaoon to?
Uss din jab maine us gunde ko tumhaari ore badhte dekha, to mujhe aisa laga ki mera ek hissa mujhse alag ho raha hai. Bahut chot lagi thi, lekin takleef iss baat ki ho rahi thi ki meri haalat dekhkar tumhaari aankhon mein aansoon the. Hosh aate hi pehla khayal yeh aaya ki kya tum theek ho? Pata nahi, na chahte hue bhi hamesha tumhari fikar mujhe satati rehti hai. Bahut weird hai, yeh feelings, yeh sab jo ho raha hai. Out of control jaane lagi hai situation, aur yeh main hone dena nahi chahta.
Main kal tumhe apne past, apne dard ke baare mein sab kuch bataa doonga. Main tumhe yeh bataa doonga ki main pyaar mein yakeen nahi karta, isse pehle ki tum mujhe apni feelings ke baare mein bataa do. Main tumhaara dil nahi todna chahta Ishani, lekin main ek aisa rishta jodna hi nahi chahta jiske toot jaane ki possibilities ho. Tum meri sabse achchi dost ho, ek aisi dost jiske bina meri life incomplete hai. Main chahta hoon ki tum mujhe dekhkar gussa karo, lekin mujhe maaf karke mujhe ek jadoo ki jhappi bhi do. Tum meri harkaton ko tokti raho, lekin zaroorat aane par mera poora saath do. Main sabko yeh dikhaana chahta hoon ki pyaar bhale hi khatam ho jaaye, lekin dosti bani rehti hai. Main chahta hoon hamari dosti pyaar se bhi aage ho, usse bhi zyaada mazboot ho. Isse pehle mere dil mein basi hui dosti pyaar mein badalne lage, main hamaari dosti ko itna mazboot karna chahta hoon ki aisi naubat hi na aaye.
I hope tum mujhe samajh paaogi. No, samajhna padega. Rishte ko temporarily bahut strong karke use tod dena chahiye, ya phir use dheere dheere mazboot karna chahiye taaki woh kabhi bhi na toote? Yeh sawaal apne dil se poochhna – main tumhe galat nahi lagoonga. Tumhaare liye halwa bana raaha hoon, apne haathon se, uske swaad ko sahi se pehchaanna, kya hai na, agar galti ho gayi, to mooh ka swaad aur dil ki khushi, dono bigad jaayengi. Main tumse pyaar karta hoon, ek aise dost waala pyaar ho ishq waale pyaar se kahi upar hai. Koi kuch bhi keh le, mujhe poora yakeen hai, tum mera saath hamesha dogi. Main woh galti kabhi nahi karoonga jo mere baap ne kiya tha, aur main chahta hoon ki tum mujhe tumhe chhodne ki galti karne se rok lo. Please Ishani, mere jazbaaton ko samajhna, aur haan, halwa zaroor khaana!
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Haven't proof-read, so kindly excuse the spelling and grammatical errors. I think the guy needs to face his past before his love!
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