Prerna's dilemma as a woman: a different take from a forumite

This is a post I'm posting on behalf of euphoric with her due permission. I feel all of us need to go through this and give it a thought. She has posted this on AnuPre AT. So here it is ....

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This thought is playing on my mind ever since they r making such a big fuss over this wedding. 

Recently we had a lawyer who visited us for a guest session. She spoke on women empowerment, hulaboo over virginity and jaan se pyari izzat wala concept. 

She asked us a simple question, wht will u do or tch ur students / daughters / sisters to do while facing an armed robbery. Will u ask them to fight or give away their possessions? Everyone agreed tht possessions shud be given away to save a life. 

To which she said, exactly... So we all agreed tht life was important. And then she asked y not tch the girls this self-preservation thing while facing a dire scenario of force. And we were all stumped. 

To which she sited two examples of gang rape... 1. Nirbhaya, the delhi girl's rape where the girl was subjected to inhuman treatment and finally passed away. 2. Mumbai reporter's gang rape case where the girl to save herself and her colleague submitted to offenders but later got herself treated and filed a complaint to get her criminals punished. 

The lawyer lady asked us out of the two which girl's parent u think are happier. The one who lost their daughter or the other one who could hold on and stand by their child. We were left to ponder on the question raised. 

Y i wanted to share this here? As most of us here r females... We ourselves need to question this and think over this. 

The scenario on show n the narration is different but still quite similar. In real the girl is robbed of her dignity and on reel her happiness. In either case she is abused. Both r being expected to surrender to despair and a lifetime of pain coz of someone else's crimes. They r not at fault but the society is expecting the rape victim to feel miserable and a victim of forced marriage is expected to live by the tradition. Kya kar sakte hain... Bechari ab yehi uski kismat hai... And such lines r common to hear... But is it? Really?? 

The reason i want prerna to fight and come out of this sham of marriage is to defy these age old stinking paradigms and realize tht nothing over a life of a girl and her happiness. 

If makers r reading this... I urge them to treat prerna as a human and not as an object. 

Sorry if i bored anyone with this :)

The end of her post.

PS.... please do give it a read and I request you to avoid anything that's against the Coc. 

Thank you @euphoric for the brilliant post and for your permission. 🤗

This is ekta world not real

That's a wonderful post.👏 but unfortunately the two situations are different . I cant equate rape to what happened to prerna as i feel in case of rape , the trauma is much more , in some cases incomparable. 

Still I would love it if she breaks the shackles of this marriage and somehow force bajaj to divorce her. Make him feel guilty every second , don't let him live in peace . Prerna is in the position to do so..consequences kuch bhi ho..for that she needs anurags help ..infact if she did the same after anurag was released from jail, history would be something different.  

Thank you Manisha for putting this across. 

I request ppl to read this post objectively, leaving behind ur favourites and prejudices. 

Originally posted by: _charu_

That's a wonderful post.👏 but unfortunately the two situations are different . I cant equate rape to what happened to prerna as i feel in case of rape , the trauma is much more , in some cases incomparable. 

Still I would love it if she breaks the shackles of this marriage and somehow force bajaj to divorce her. Make him feel guilty every second , don't let him live in peace . Prerna is in the position to do so..consequences kuch bhi ho..for that she needs anurags help ..infact if she did the same after anurag was released from jail, history would be something different.  

Charu its abt how ppl look at it...

Rape is traumatic but with support ppl survive. And its abt living thru the ordeal once. But forced marriage is waking day in and day out to the scenario u never wished to live in. More women commit suicide coz of several types of domestic abuse then rape survivors! 

Its abt self preservation anyways. 

The reason i want prerna to fight and come out of this sham of marriage is to defy these age old stinking paradigms and realize tht nothing over a life of a girl and her happiness. 

I don't see her unhappy. I see a woman who is slowly finding her comfort zone in this marriage. At times she expresses her hurt over her lost love but she doesn't seem even a bit tilted towards getting back her old life. So why can't we accept her choice instead of making it about empowerment & breaking age old traditions of accepting marriage as it is. 

It's matter of fact that majority of women seek stability in life. Stability in job with less job hopping, stability in marriage by trying to make things work etc.. It's innate characteristics of many. So I don't see any empowerment angle here, rather than mere stupidity expecting her to fight to get back to old life(.as if that was any better with mohini and others in picture) 

P. S this is all is from prerna's perspective because she sees bajaj from a different perspective and she doesn't find anything objectionable about that man. Then let her be. We can't impose our perspective on her and say "empowerment" 

Originally posted by: falah5

The reason i want prerna to fight and come out of this sham of marriage is to defy these age old stinking paradigms and realize tht nothing over a life of a girl and her happiness. 

I don't see her unhappy. I see a woman who is slowly finding her comfort zone in this marriage. At times she expresses her hurt over her lost love but she doesn't seem even a bit tilted towards getting back her old life. So why can't we accept her choice instead of making it about empowerment & breaking age old traditions of accepting marriage as it is. 

It's matter of fact that majority of women seek stability in life. Stability in job with less job hopping, stability in marriage by trying to make things work etc.. It's innate characteristics of many. So I don't see any empowerment angle here, rather than mere stupidity expecting her to fight to get back to old life(.as if that was any better with mohini and others in picture) 

P. S this is all is from prerna's perspective because she sees bajaj from a different perspective and she doesn't find anything objectionable about that man. Then let her be. We can't impose our perspective on her and say "empowerment" 

Interesting take ..... but I would equate this to “Chalta Hain” attitude ...

It’s like chalo ho gaya so ho gaya .... adjust kar lete hain ab , kaun fight karegaa ab . This lack of fighting instinct is what is majorly lacking in ppl , I won’t even just point it to Woman.

Yes at the end it’s what they want ..... but is that want triggered by NEED or just plain LACK IF FIGHTING SPIRTI defines a person’s character ..

Originally posted by: euphoric

Thank you Manisha for putting this across. 

I request ppl to read this post objectively, leaving behind ur favourites and prejudices. 

You're welcome dear 🤗

I too would request everyone to just give it a thought. 🙏🙏

Whatever u said is right, but I'm impervious to Prerna s plight, coz, even with Anurag, I never saw her taking a stand for herself or her family, it was Anurag who always called the shots, so even if she divorces Bajaj and marries Anurag, she is leaving one cage for other, unless she learns to respect herself and not lose herself in her equations with others. 

Originally posted by: falah5

The reason i want prerna to fight and come out of this sham of marriage is to defy these age old stinking paradigms and realize tht nothing over a life of a girl and her happiness. 

I don't see her unhappy. I see a woman who is slowly finding her comfort zone in this marriage. At times she expresses her hurt over her lost love but she doesn't seem even a bit tilted towards getting back her old life. So why can't we accept her choice instead of making it about empowerment & breaking age old traditions of accepting marriage as it is. 

It's matter of fact that majority of women seek stability in life. Stability in job with less job hopping, stability in marriage by trying to make things work etc.. It's innate characteristics of many. So I don't see any empowerment angle here, rather than mere stupidity expecting her to fight to get back to old life(.as if that was any better with mohini and others in picture) 

P. S this is all is from prerna's perspective because she sees bajaj from a different perspective and she doesn't find anything objectionable about that man. Then let her be. We can't impose our perspective on her and say "empowerment" 

Your pov is also good if we think from this perspective yes she has every right to move on and choose whom she wants to spend her life with. We can't and shouldn't impose anything on anyone. 

But probably what I make out from the entire scenario and have gone through many Prerna related posts especially from the ones who support Prerna is that she has accepted her destiny and she is doing all her wifey duties without any thought of trying to get out of the marriage. 

So I believe this thought process that has been engrained in the minds of the society where a woman who is married against her will deserves to acknowledge that marriage in all circumstances shall undergo a revolutionary change. Only then we as women would be able to decide for ourselves without any psychological pressure.