The way Mishti handles the emotional abuse - Page 2

Originally posted by: iamthat2019

Hi

This is very well written ......I'm glad you have taken up this topic again as this is something which generally needs attention by our society at large.The way mental abuse is shown in the show has actually stirred a few reactions,as more often than not all of us have witnessed abuse around us.

I also agree with your view on various defence mechanisms which people adapt to overcome this .   It could be either giving it back or ignoring Whatever may be the coping mechanism,but we all cannot deny that this definitely leaves a lasting impression on the personality of that individual.   Mishti ,as you rightly pointed out ,is weighing  various aspects of all relationships before reacting.To her people that matter are Bm,Bp and Abir.Others are in the periphery so their thought process or what they think about her is now not so consequential.     You would also agree that she has grown up suddenly with all the trauma she has faced recently like her goddhana issue or getting blackmailed by Big Ben.Yes she did initially hesitate to muster up enough courage to confide in Abir or Bp as in the event of her exposing all the blackmail drama ,a Pandora's box would have opened  .She also cannot go against the mother of the man she loves as eventually she knows she will have to live with her in future.So I guess she's just not reacting impulsively to all that nonsense these people are throwing at her.but weighing pros and cons of each reaction as these are lifelong relationships and have to be dealt with care.Im sure all of us also look at these aspects when dealing with our own set of people.Though I would definitely want her to confide in Abir now as both of them have decided to walk together.

Mishti is a loner but has a tremendous will power to do whatever she thinks is right and I'm sure she's  definitely going to gather herself and move towards creating her own identity.

Wow...this was so well written... exactly what I am trying to get at..

Bold- this sums up my post...I just wanted to say this!

Also I agree Abir and mishti both need to share things ...n now its very much required...to solve the kuku problem they need to know the missing parts...Mishti needs to know Kunal ran away...Abir needs to know the warning given by Kunal to Mishti...only that will help them see the bigger picture and solve it...I hope this happens soon

But it's ITV so I keep minimum hopes...😆

Originally posted by: Onyourface

I just thought this deserves a seperate post so...

*What dosent kill you..will make you stronger*

No doubt mish is facing emotional abuse ..but we should also see the way she handles it..

1. Jasmeet- she royally ignores her!

There are reasons for the same... because she is a generation older to her..she can't be like shut up to her...even if she wants to...she knows jas is wrong...but she can't sushhh her...only BP and BM have the rights to do so...so what is the best thing you do...yes ignore..don't let her words affect you...control and train your mind that ways...it's difficult but isn't impossible!

2. Kuhu- she always gives it back to her..and when not possible..she diverts her mind!

She is not a abla nari who will cry there...she gives it back to kuhu n how...there are at same level ...so no generation issue here...also when it's too much for her...she dosent cry or lock herself in a room...she gets her dress on...takes the cycle and zooms out of the situation...this is diverting your mind... rejuvenating and coming back strong...don't stuck up anywhere...do something else for a while...another good habit by mish!

3. She listens to everyone...but at the end does what she feels right ...even if it is wrong..if it is wrong ..then own them and correct them whenever life gives you a chance

She takes her own time to process things...but at the end she does what she feels right...she does mistakes too..like running away wasn't a good move...even Abir casually pointed it out...but she owns it ...that's another habit I like...you are bound to make mistakes...own them...so that you can correct them...the last time benba gave her dhamki ..she ran away...it was her first time facing a lady like benba...this time also benba gave her a dhamki...but this time she was prepared... didn't give any attention to the dhamki n did what she wanted to...she finally confessed !

In real life also you may find people like jas kuhu benba...it's upto you how you deal with them... sometimes you have to ignore.. sometimes give them back and sometimes learn something and handle with care... different people different solutions 

These people may or may not stop abusing Mishti ...but it's upto Mishti to take the abuse or not and how to deal with it...

And Mishti is definitely giving some goals here!

Sorry for the long post

Lovely post Uru. Can't agree more.

@ bold - Very important quality in a person. Taking responsibility for their mistakes and correct it, instead of blaming others for whatever happened.

Originally posted by: fangirl1012

Uru I agree with a everything you have said. She handles all the abuse so maturely by royally ignoring all the crap Jasmeet, Varsha and Kuhu spew at her. At times she does speak up but I think her silence is also for BM and BP. They have showered her with love so in return she choses to respect everyone who is associated with them. What she does however requires huge emotional strength it's like she doesn't mind the words cutting her soul but she won't want her loved ones to get exposed to the true ugliness of some people. It's one of the reasons why she hasn't outright told Abir about his mother and her threats and why she hasn't complained much about Jasmeet and Varsha to BP and BM.

Jinke pass family nahi Hoti...unse pucho family kya Hoti hai...

Mish knows the importance of a family...she craves for that love...and therefore she will think 1000 times before hurting them.specially BP BM and Abir...that.she also told Abir that apno se ladayi nahi ki jaati...she is slowly learning how to deal with this... without running away from the situation..that's what I like about her...

She is emotional ...but not an emotional fool....she is an emotionally strong girl like you said

Originally posted by: .IamShonali.

I am just copy pasting my post on another topic which somewhat also goes with yours and I absolutely agree with you!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE TO YOUR POST!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING WHAT I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO SAY!!

See both Kunal and Kuhu are spoiled brats. And as a result they take no responsibility of their own actions or decisions. They are built in a way that they put the blame of their own actions on others. Their character is such that they let their ego come in between everything. They are not totally black. They are grey. They do feel guilt too but not for long because they are way too blinded right now with their own theories and their version of truth. Especially with Kunal, everyone has made a big deal of his first rejection by Shweta and hence Mishti's rejection added more misery to his male ego. Makers are just showing them the way they are. He and Kuhu aren't going to have an overnight change with their characters. Something big has to happen for both of them to realize how wrong they have been and how for the longest time they have been blaming the wrong person. And lets not forget whatever misunderstandings have started, has been started by Meenu. And Kunal unfortunately is her carbon copy whether he is her son or not.

And with Mishti!!! I am not able to understand why people are calling her weak. I mean no disrespect and its their assessment. But I would like to disagree respectfully there. If Mishti were that weak, she would have paid hid to Varsha's and Menu's warning and would have stayed away from Abir. The fact that she isn't letting them get to her and she is still prioritizing Abir over them says a lot. Just because she doesn't speak in front of them, doesn't make her weak. If you are strong, doesn't mean you are gonna scream, shout and fight every time. You are going to pick your battles wisely and speak up when you have to. Especially with Kuhu, she has been speaking up every chance she gets. But she makes sure that it is one on one. She is mature enough to not create a scene in front of everyone. Yah, whatever she does afterwards or behind the scenes for Kuhu is because she still cares for her. And whether it was her fault or not, she does feel guilty of revealing the truth of their relationship and Kuhu's truth of being illegitimate daughter. She might not show that guilt to Kuhu or might not try to prove it. But she is someone who doesn't want to be responsible for any type of issues in the family.

Mishti and Abir are a lot similar. They both just dont jump on to fights every chance they get. They assess the situation and handles it maturely and does stand up when its high time. They both also have made mistakes and they own up to them unlike Kunal Kuhu who loves to put the blame on to someone else.

With Jasmeet, she has been this way since the start. And whatever happened during the haldi ceremony, she thinks she got the license to insult Mishti whenever she can. There is no change in her. But thats how she is. I dont like her too but does that mean I won't watch the show? No. Varsha? Again, I am not liking the way even she is treating Mishti. But for her, Kuhu is her daughter. And every mother will get more protective for her daughter than anything. No, it doesn't give her the right to do what she is doing. But she will be selfish for Kuhu and hence until and unless the entire truth doesn't come out, she is gonna be uncomfortable having Mishti around because she thinks that Mishti could be a threat to Kuhu and her happiness.

But as you said, she ignores them. She doesn't let them get to her or her feelings for Abir. She does what she has to for prioritizing Abir and man, isn't my girl doing wonders?

Perfect... couldn't agree more... perfectly said for all the characters...

Sometimes ignorance is bliss...as you said ...all battles aren't meant to be won

N jas k baare mein kya bolu...bhains k aage bhagwad nai padi jaati...thats what I say about her...

I don't know they will improve or not...but mish is definitely learning n growing out of it...that's enough for me...

Originally posted by: vssdp

A much needed post 🤗

I hate when people call mishti weak 

Quality of weakness is not crying ,we've to cry to release our pent up emotions 

Mishti is very strong girl, she's a human, can do mistakes too, and she has all rights to move on from that mistake 

Atleast she takes responsibility of her action, she's not week but emotional especially for her family, that's why first take decision in haste but later correct that too 

On the airport, she was praying for abir to come that means she had not given up on abir  , I like these qualities of her. 

I always get attach to characters but this time I got attached to story, To a couple not just because of abir, but because of both abir and mishti 

Thanku so much for this post Uru 🤗

Welcome vaishu🤗..

Exactly she owns her mistakes unlike kuku who blame it on others...lol..

Bold- well said...for me also it's not just mishbir..it's Mishti mishbir and Abir...they both are strong individuals and a rock solid couple...of course they have flaws too...but they try to learn n grow out of it

Originally posted by: samyuktha0411

Lovely post Uru. Can't agree more.

@ bold - Very important quality in a person. Taking responsibility for their mistakes and correct it, instead of blaming others for whatever happened.

Thank you samy🤗

Exactly owning the mistakes is the first step in correcting them...

Mish could also conviniently blame her father her mother Kunal Meenu ...but she dosent...

As Abir describes her

*Yeh ladki gehre Dard main bhi jeene ka tareeka jaanti hai*

Originally posted by: Onyourface

I just thought this deserves a seperate post so...

*What dosent kill you..will make you stronger*

No doubt mish is facing emotional abuse ..but we should also see the way she handles it..

1. Jasmeet- she royally ignores her!

There are reasons for the same... because she is a generation older to her..she can't be like shut up to her...even if she wants to...she knows jas is wrong...but she can't sushhh her...only BP and BM have the rights to do so...so what is the best thing you do...yes ignore..don't let her words affect you...control and train your mind that ways...it's difficult but isn't impossible!

2. Kuhu- she always gives it back to her..and when not possible..she diverts her mind!

She is not a abla nari who will cry there...she gives it back to kuhu n how...there are at same level ...so no generation issue here...also when it's too much for her...she dosent cry or lock herself in a room...she gets her dress on...takes the cycle and zooms out of the situation...this is diverting your mind... rejuvenating and coming back strong...don't stuck up anywhere...do something else for a while...another good habit by mish!

3. She listens to everyone...but at the end does what she feels right ...even if it is wrong..if it is wrong ..then own them and correct them whenever life gives you a chance

She takes her own time to process things...but at the end she does what she feels right...she does mistakes too..like running away wasn't a good move...even Abir casually pointed it out...but she owns it ...that's another habit I like...you are bound to make mistakes...own them...so that you can correct them...the last time benba gave her dhamki ..she ran away...it was her first time facing a lady like benba...this time also benba gave her a dhamki...but this time she was prepared... didn't give any attention to the dhamki n did what she wanted to...she finally confessed !

In real life also you may find people like jas kuhu benba...it's upto you how you deal with them... sometimes you have to ignore.. sometimes give them back and sometimes learn something and handle with care... different people different solutions 

These people may or may not stop abusing Mishti ...but it's upto Mishti to take the abuse or not and how to deal with it...

And Mishti is definitely giving some goals here!

Sorry for the long post

loved the post..thanks for sharing..🤗👍🏼❤️

Originally posted by: Onyourface

Welcome vaishu🤗..

Exactly she owns her mistakes unlike kuku who blame it on others...lol..

Bold- well said...for me also it's not just mishbir..it's Mishti mishbir and Abir...they both are strong individuals and a rock solid couple...of course they have flaws too...but they try to learn n grow out of it

Exactly, mishti has her own personality and identity 

She does not want attention of others , she gets because of her attitude towards everyone (of course people with good heart and some brains 😅😅)

Exactly, for me too it will always be abir mishti and mishbir, they're awesome 🤗

Originally posted by: Onyourface

Thank you samy🤗

Exactly owning the mistakes is the first step in correcting them...

Mish could also conviniently blame her father her mother Kunal Meenu ...but she dosent...

As Abir describes her

*Yeh ladki gehre Dard main bhi jeene ka tareeka jaanti hai*

❤️

Hi Uru...amazing post...i love how you have beautifully connected the real life situation with mish’s way of handling the situation❤️

I feel she is far more stronger than abir as far as handling her pain or emotional abuse...for abir, i feel being constantly at loggerheads with your own mom and somehow thinks she is responsible for his father abandoning them are nothing less than an emotional trauma.....i agree she doesn’t taunt him in the manner it is done in mahs family..but she is a control freak woman who cannot take no for an answer...so when realised he cannot agree with his mom anymore...he found the easiest way of running away from his own house shunning  away all his responsibilities...he cannot handle constant jabs of his own mom while the girl is handling 3 monsters together...staying with those who bully you and constantly tries to bring up down is no mean feat.... mish is staying in mahs house and learning to face her struggles heads on...she is making mistakes, owning up, fixing those and move on...i love this girl...no blame games...no tantrums....no lame excuses👏👏