JaBir One-Shot
It was hard to believe that the girl in front of me, trapped in the restraints of the mirror, was a reflection of myself. I didn't recognize her. And she certainly didn't look like Pooja Sharma. Illuminated by the bright lights in the green room, my white, strapless gown seemed to shimmer and carry a glow of its own. My hair was tied back in a high ponytail and with the light breeze entering the room from the open window, I felt their light caresses on my bare back. My neck was adorned by a simple diamond necklace. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. This was it. The fashion show.
So much had happened over the past two days. I closed my eyes, allowing the bitter flashbacks of Dhruv to overshadow my thoughts. Every minute in my role as Jahnvi, I had known that my crimes and prejudices against Dhruv were unwarranted. I had no right to put him through the pain and trauma that I did. But if I were to be honest with myself, Dhruv had never crossed my mind for even for a moment after PK's death. Our marriage had been a farce. My love for him had been fake. I didn't have room in my life for love at all to begin with. For Jahnvi Mittal, Dhruv had simply been collateral damage. Because Jahnvi's only purpose was to exact revenge from the Mittals. But Pooja was not Jahnvi. And during my elaborate role play as Jahnvi, I had lost the essence of Pooja. I knew I had wronged him. But was I responsible in making a murderer out of him? Was I responsible for making him a delinquent? Yes, I had used Dhruv for my own selfish purposes. But I had never physically hurt him. And just yesterday, Dhruv had not hesitated even for a moment before deciding that he no longer wished to see me alive. And for some strange reason, that hurt. It was an unexpected ache. And Kabir had been there too.
A surge of anger rushed over me. Kabir. I didn't know what to make of him. But he certainly couldn't have been innocent in Dhruv's kidnapping ploy. Dhruv was his brother after all, wasn't he? Of course Kabir would have known of Dhruv's intentions. And Kabir himself was no saint. It wasn't as if he had any kind of appreciation for me. But did Kabir want to go as far as to kill me? From what Chopra had told me, it seemed to be likely. Kabir had tried several times between yesterday and today to approach me. But frankly, I was least interested in anything he had to say. Surprisingly, I was more hurt by Kabir's involvement in the kidnapping than by Dhruv. For a moment, I had actually begun to think that maybe...just MAYBE Kabir and I could form a relationship of mutual respect. But no. Clearly Kabir had no such intentions. Foolish, Pooja. How could you be so stupid?
I sighed, trying to shake the thoughts away from my head. Focus, I thought. The fashion show was the only thing that mattered at the moment. Since it was so last minute, I had volunteered myself as the show stopper. And it was almost time to walk out onto the ramp. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. This was terrifying. I was in no way, shape or form a model. And going out in front of all those people...onto a ramp...as a show stopper.... My throat ran dry. I picked up the water bottle beside me and took a chug. I had to do this. For the company. For my first clients. I thought of the orphanage. People were counting on me.
As I turned to exit the room, I heard a soft knock at the door. "Pooja?" The voice called. I froze, feeling my blood run cold. It was Kabir. My palms suddenly felt sweaty. I had to get out of here and away from HIM before the irritation and anger replaced my composure. "Not now, Kabir." I answered, sharply, hoping that he would take the hint and leave. But of course, who was I kidding? Kabir was his own boss. He wasn't in the habit of taking orders from others. And so, without another moment's thought, I heard the door knob turn and the echo of footsteps enter my dressing room. My back was to him. I didn't think I had it in me to look at him in the eyes for fear that my emotions might reveal themselves. And so I slowly turned my eyes upward to the mirror to observe his reflection instead. He was quiet and I felt his piercing gaze scanning my form. There were no words to be said. But looking into his eyes, I thought, for a moment that I saw his eyes grow dark and slightly wider. He suddenly clenched his hand, as if searching for self-control. But self-control from what? I thought, confused.
Understanding that he was not going to speak anytime soon, I broke the silence. "The door was closed for a reason, Kabir." I snapped. "What are you doing here?" He flinched, as if broken out of his thoughts. "Pooja," he said again. "I have to talk to you. About...everything." He didn't have to elaborate. I knew exactly what he was referring to. "Not now," I repeated, lifting my dress at the waist and turning around to head out. As I stepped past him, his hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. "Then when, Pooja? Tell me when we can talk."
I whirled around, feeling the familiar rage wash over me again. "Never!" I screamed. "There can be NOTHING you have left to say to me after yesterday Mr. Kabir Mittal." I could sense my face growing hot with every word. "And you LET GO of me this minute! Do you understand?!" I twisted my wrist, trying to wrench it out of his grip. But his hand was firmly locked to mine and his eyes were fixed, unnervingly, to mine. Without falter. Without any guilt.
"You know what, Kabir?" I shrieked. "You're the most insensitive and fake human being I have EVER come across in my life." The momentary shock on his face was enough for me to successfully escape his hold. I couldn't help it. I shoved him backward, towards the wall. "You pretend to care for everyone. For this company. For the employees. But all you are is a hypocrite!" Shove. "You think your family is perfect. Your family is family. Your family is important. They deserve to have a roof over their heads. They deserve to live a life of comfort. And my family?!" Another shove. "My family doesn't count. My father can be murdered by your father but it doesn't matter. Your mother, chachi and grand father can support your father...can hide his misdeeds for years but it's justifiable. And now I take back the house and the company that was my father's to begin with and suddenly, you Mittals can't handle it?!" I screamed, pushing him further backwards. "I never thought YOU of all people Kabir, would stoop as low as kidnapping and murder. I never thought. But maybe it was just me, being foolish. So foolish that I had actually begun to TRUST a member of the Mittal family. But no. You're all the same. Selfish and wasted. And I won't waste another moment on you Kabir. You don't deserve a minute of my time." I gave him a final push and began to leave, blinking back the tears. But before I could take a step forward, Kabir's hands were on my shoulders. He whirled me around so that I was pinned tight against the wall. His arms were quickly on either side, blocking my exit. I could see the anger in his eyes like fire. He was furious.
"I. Did. Not. Kidnap. You." He growled, adding emphasis on each word. "I didn't do it Pooja." His voice was dangerously quiet. And for a moment a tense silence overcame us. I raised my chin, meeting his eyes with mine. "I don't believe you." I said, equally tersely. "I'm done putting my faith in ANY of the Mittals for that matter. And what you have to say is no concern of mine." I stepped forward, placed my hands on his chest and pushed. "Now, get the HELL out of my way before I call security and have you kicked out from my vicinity for assault."
Saying so, I stepped past him and out onto the stage.
Walking the ramp was probably one of the most terrifying things I've done in my life. I had never seen so many people gathered into a room, looking at me, at once. And they were some of the most important personalities in India too. But I held my head high, and walked bravely forward onto the ramp trying to blink back the angry, hot tears that Kabir had induced.
As I walked forward into the public eyes, music began playing, matching the beat of my steps.
Bheege bheege sadkon pe main
Tera Intezaar Karoon
Dheere Dheere dil ki zameen ko
Tere hi naam karoon
All eyes were on me, washing over my outfit, clicking pictures and murmuring in appreciation. One step in front of the other, I walked to the edge of the ramp, and began posing. For some reason, I felt anxious. As if something was going to happen. As if there was going to be some unforeseen calamity. But the rational part of me tried its best to push the negative thoughts out of my head, amounting it to mere nervous tension.
Khud ko main kho doon
ke phir na kabhi paon
Haule Haule zindagi ko
Ab tere hawale karoon
I turned, my eyes grazing the crowd. In the corner of the room, I noted Kabir. His hard expression coupled with the intensity in his eyes inadvertently caused a shiver to run down my spine. Stop looking at me. I screamed, internally willing him to move his eyes somewhere, anywhere away from me.
Sanam Re Sanam Re
Tu mera sanam hua re
Karam re Karam re
Tera mujhpe karam hua re
Sanam re Sanam re
Tu mera sanam hua re
I turned to face the audience on the opposite side. More photos, more nods, more murmurs. The feeling of anxiety was back. It was a 6th sense. As if someone was watching my every move. Suddenly, I couldn't wait to be off this stage. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, it was time to walk off the stage. Two girls wearing silver dresses walked on each side of me. Almost there, I thought. Less than 10 steps and I would be off the stage and finished this fashion show forever. Just had to take one step in front of the other.
1 step, 2 steps, 3 steps, 4.
My nervousness was growing stronger with every minute. I wanted to so badly turn around one more time and examine the audience to convince myself otherwise. But no. I couldn't ruin the show.
6 steps, 7 steps.
Someone was watching me. I could feel eyes scathing my back, nearly burning a hole. But there were thousands of people in the audience. How was it possible to feel the eyes of one specific person only? You felt Kabir's eyes on you. I reminded myself.
8 steps. 9 steps.
One more step to take and I would be done. But before I could move, I felt a hard body crash against mine, pushing me down. I barely had time to register my shock before I heard sounds of bullets, followed by thousands of garbled screams. Mine melted somewhere in between all the commotion that had suddenly arisen. The arms of the person who had fallen on top of me quickly wrapped around my head, pressing my head to his chest. He had me so close against himself that I felt suffocated. I had to remind myself to breathe. I hadn't realized when I had begun gripping onto his shirt. Oh god, oh god. It was like a constant mantra in my head. What is happening. Another bullet. I heard the groan of the person who had fallen on top of me. The voice was familiar. I forced myself out of the comfort of his arms and looked up.
What I saw felt as if someone had punched me directly in the ribs. It was Kabir. And his face was contorted in pain. "Kabir..." I whispered, unable to understand what happened. "Stay still, Pooja." He stuttered. My mind whirled in confusion. Why is he talking like that? Why isn't he speaking properly? What were those sounds? What's happening? With each passing second, his hold on my body seemed to grow tighter. I can't breathe, Kabir, I wanted to cry. I looked down, in the few centimeters of gap between us, trying to analyze the situation. I saw only red. Red? But my dress was white. Pure white. Where was the red coming from? I lifted my hand from Kabir's shirt. It felt wet. Red liquid oozed from my hand. I gazed at it in horror. Blood? My blood? But I had felt no pain. And then it suddenly struck me. Not my blood. Kabir's blood. I looked at him. His eyes were opening and closing as if he would collapse at any minute. "Kabir!" I cried. "Kabir what is this, what happened? You need help! Kabir!" I screamed. I turned him over onto the side and sat up. His eyes were laced with confusion, as if he couldn't quite understand himself what had happened. "Kabir, please, stay with me! What did you do?" I felt the hot tears against my cheeks. I'm crying for Kabir?!
"Pooja," he strained. "Leave. Right now." He winced, gripping the side of his body in pain. "Back door," he added. I was confused. he was asking me to leave him? like this? "NO!" I answered, automatically, the tears still rushing down my eyes. "I won't leave you like this. HELP!" I cried. "PLEASE SOMEONE HELP US!" I screamed. But everyone was on a frantic spree to leave the building themselves. I turned to Kabir. "Kabir Mittal, stay with me. Don't you dare close your eyes. Remember who you are Kabir. Stay with me. The company needs you...I...need you. Kabir!" I didn't know what I was saying. I didn't even know if I was making any sense. But Kabir needed help. I scanned the ramp, looking for anyone to help. I was fortunate enough to spot a phone. I scambled to my feet, grabbing the phone. I shakily dialed the emergency number. I had to a hold of the hospital. The doctor. The police. Anyone to help.
Two minutes later, after stuttering my way through the phone call, I had managed to arrange for an ambulance. I rushed back to Kabir, who seemed to be floating in and out of consciousness. "Kabir." I whispered. What had he done? Had he really saved me? Had he put himself in way of danger to protect me? But why? Why had he done it? After everything I had accused him of in the green room... why? Why why why?! The questions were endless. But I had no other explanation. He had saved me. He had prioritized my life over his. Though he constantly fought with me, though he loved to trouble me...to irritate me...at the end of the day, it was only him who had stepped forward for me. Only him. Without realizing what I was doing, I laced my fingers through his.
In the background, music from the fashion show still continued to play, as Kabir lay injured on the ramp and I gazed at him, unwilling to move my eyes away from his even for a moment:
Tum yun mile ho jabse mujhse
Aur sunehri main lagti hoon
Sirf labon se nahi ab toh
Poore badan se hasti hoon
Mere din raate salone se
Sab hain tere hi hone se
Ye saath humesha hoga nahi
Tum aur kahin main aur kahin
Lekin jab yaad karoge tum
Main banke hawa aa jaongi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Iss chahat me mar jaongi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
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