It was a breezy night. Prerna was sittingon the parapet of the window and her thoughts wandered some old and some newevents. She just couldn't believe her destiny. The man she always wanted tostay away, the man from whom she ran away is the man she is seeing now in herhouse for more than fifteen days. The man she loved and lost is the man who isprobably going to marry her best friend.
A lone tear slipped from her doe eyes andkissed her cheeks. No she cant lose her control now. Fifteen days she hadmasked her love for him infront of everyone including the man himself and nowthat they are going to tie a knot, she just can't screw this up.
To her horror she realized that herfeelings for this man is same as it used to be during their college days. Isntit obvious that the reason for her to be still single is the love for him shestill harvests in her heart? She understood long back that she could never loveanyone other than Anurag.
But Anurag, he hated her. She can makethat out very well and she doesnt blame him. He had a valid reason for that.She was the one who left him without explanation and moreover she refused toreceive his calls as well. He had called her so many times for continues sevendays. All all she did was to destroy the sim card and change her number. Shedid this because she was scared very scared. Being a young girl of 18 shedidn't know how to deal with it.
She was already suffering from the guiltof leaving him handing, her parents died in a car accident and her wholeworld fell apart. It was Aparna her best friend in school and her parents tookcare of her there after. By exposing her feels and their past she just cantspoil her friend's happiness. And moreover she knows that Aparna likes Anuragand she will say yes to him if he asks her. Thats exactly what she confessedthe day before?
It was very natural for her heart to bleedseeing them together but yet she was happy that both of them were happy. Theonly thing she couldnot tolerate was Anurag's hatred. He didn't leave a singlescope of remind her of her betrayal and made her guilty. But her hands weretied. She had a phobia. A commitment phobia. Seeing her parents brokenrelationship she feared to commit.
**
The knock on the door startled her. Shecomposed herself and got down from the parapet. Wiping her tear makes she wenttowards the door. She wondered who it might be. Everyone in her house sleptearly except her. It can be Aparna who might be feeling jittery. She opened todoor to face a very angry Anurag.
"What are you doing her?" shestammered and stepped back.
Without uttering anything he entered theroom.
"You cannot come in like this",unable to figure out what to say she just blurted.
"Really?" he said mockingly."Why? Why cant i enter your room?" he spat looking directly in hereyes.
"It doesn't look good to enter a woman's room without her consent andagainst her wish. And moreover you are seeing my friend now so its notappropriate".
"Then why didn't you stop me when iused to barge in your room during college days? Umm maybe you wanted me totouch you that time and get pleasure and once I became stale you threw me outof your life without any explanation. So you, talking about being appropriatedoesn't suit you. You better keep your mouth shut".
"Don't talk to me like this",she half requested and half pleaded.
He came dangerously close to her. "Iwished i have never met you Prerna. And i never expected to see you for thesecond time".
That hurt. That really hurt the most. Hedoesn't even want to see me. It broke her even further.
Grabbing her shoulders he said, "Iwish you were not Appu's best friend".
She closed her eyes thinking about her petname that he had given. 'Pre' and she used to call him 'Onu' as he used tobe really chubby and cute during college days. Now he has grown up to a veryhandsome man. He must have a huge line of girls behind him.
She just couldn't control her tearsanymore.
"I wonder how come both of you evenbecome friends. She is such a sweetheart and pure and you are nothing but abetrayer and a lier. You love playing with people's emotions. Isn't it Prerna?"
"Stop it Anurag, just stop it",she cried uncontrollably. Her whole pant up emotions had no bound today. Shejust couldn't take it anymore.
"Why stop Miss Sharma? I had to sufferso much for you. Do you know how much i tried to find you? Do you know how muchi waited for you Prerna? No, you dont because you dont have a heart and youcared a damn. And now that i have forgotten everything about you and about usyou are here reminding me of your betrayal. I hate you Prerna. I hate you tothe core".
Unable to stand anymore she sat on thefloor breaking down in front of the love of her life. Anurag held her arms andmade her get up. He pinned her against the wall. "Tomorrow i am going tosay yes to Aparna in front of the entire family and you better be present.Don't you dare try to spoil it or else i will be your greatest enemy".
All she could do was to smile. "Iwish you and Aparna a very happy married life Anurag. I would never spoil mybest friend's life. She is very lucky to have you in her life".
"No, I am going to be very lucky tohave her in my life and thank god for that. Good you left me when you left orelse i would have never met her in my life and would have been stuck with anungrateful and disgusting woman like you".
With that he threw open the door andclosed it with a loud thud behind him.
Prerna slid against the wall and cried herheart out. She knew that it was all her fault.
He hates her so much and that too withoutknowing the biggest secret of her life, their life. She has no idea what hewill do if he comes to know about it.
She got up and went towards the cupboardand opened her drawer to pull out her old report. She has never thought thatthis day will come in her life that she has to once again face her demons thesin that she had committed by not telling Anurag.
Her miscarriage papers.
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