Hello lovelies,
I am back with another piece on ZaBeer. Albeit this is somewhat dark, but I really could help myself from writing it. Now that it is complete, I do feel that the characters are a tad bit OC. Let me know if you feel the same and I shall try to improve on my follies.
TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Abuse.
Before Dawn
It's the darkest before dawn, Zara knew. But just how dark is the darkest hour?
The call came during the hour. Zara blindly reaches for her mobile phone with one hand; the other rubbing the sleep crusts from the corner of her eyes.
"Asalamu Alaikum.
"Hello! Zara Bibi. Hum...hum Abida bol rahe hai, The voice on the other end was weak. Hoarse with strain and barely audible.
Shivers of fear and concern ran down Zara's spine. Abida's voice was always filled with pain, and coarse with the burden of an unfair life but this this was something entirely else. This was beyond pain. This was fear. "Abida. Abida! Kya hua? Sab khairiyat toh hai? Tum theek toh ho?
Abida chokes on a sob. "Humari bachi ko bacha lo Zara Bibi. Please. Humari Sara ko bacha lo...Hum."
The call ends just as abruptly as it came.
Zara scrambles out of bed, tripping on the duvet multiple times in her haste. She only just had the presence to pull a dupatta over her head and grab her keys before she flies out of her house. The late hour proved to be a blessing. Zara was sure she would bodily harm herself or the unexpecting pedestrians had she been driving like this during the light of the day but now was not the time to pay heed to traffic regulations. She needed to get to Abida and Sara!
Dropping her scooty in front of the rusted iron gate of Qasim's rental place, Zara barges in. "Abida! Abida!
The house was in a state of wreck. Furniture overturned, and glass glittered in broken pieces all over the tiled floor. "ABIDA!
A groan comes from the bedroom and Zara heads towards it. "Abida? Fear prickled her being until it broke free in the form of goosebumps on her skin. The door creaked open. Zara's breath catches in her lungs. Abida lied among the broken pieces of glass, her chest heaving with painful gasps of breath and a thin stream of blood trickled down the corners of her nose and mouth. Zara froze.
Surely this must be a nightmare! She just needs to wake up.
"Zara Bibi please..." Abida gasped, garnering Zara's attention.
Breaking out of her stupor, Zara scrambled towards the prone lady, taking her head into her lap. "Abida. Tum theek ho, tum aur Sara bilkul theek ho! Ghabrao mat. Hum aa gaye hai na!"
"Sara...Sara," Abida lifted a finger towards the door at the end of the dark corridor. "Sara ko bacha lo Bibi."
"Haan. Sara!" Gently placing Abida back, Zara tumbled down towards the door Abida pointed at. The door itself was dusty and shut off with a heavy bolt. Blood curdled in her veins, Qasim locked a seven-year-old child in a store room?
With shivering fingers, Zara unlatches the bolt. Her mind running through horrendous scenarios. Why wasn't Sara crying? Why wasn't she screaming for help?
.
.
.
The incessant ringing of his phone woke Kabeer up a little before his alarm normally would. He cracks his eyes open in narrow slits. The number that flashed across the screen was unrecognizable. "Asalamu Alaikum.
"Hello, kya main Kabeer Ahmed se baat kar rahi hoon?" Came a formal, almost detached voice from the other side.
"Jee. Aap kaun bol rahe hai?"
"Main City Hospital se nurse Komal bol rahi hoon. Kya aap Zara Ahmed ke pati hai?"
Hospital. Zara. Kabir sits up immediately. His mind alert and ready to jump into action. "Jee. Jee Hum Zara ke shouhar hai. Kya hua hai usse? Zara theek toh hai na?"
Pulling on his navy coat over his kurta, Kabeer was halfway to his car. "Aap bas jaldi se City Hospital aa jaye. Patient ke condition phone pe batana humare policy ke khilaaf hai."
Her tone wasn't reassuring but before he could inquire further the line flatlined and so did Kabeer's heart for a second.
Things weren't supposed to be this way. Their relationship was making progress, he was sure they were heading in the right direction but then that wretched case about Nikah Halala came and burned all their love down! He tried to be patient and understand, Lord knows he tried, but then things got complicated and he needed to guide the kaum. Zara surprisingly was the reckless instinctive one this time around, and though her heart was in the right place, her actions were bringing the family name down and Kabeer was left with no other option but to pronounce the second talaq.
In retrospect he knew it was wrong. He used Talaq as a mean to control his wife because he knew she loved him. He took advantage of her love. But what else was he meant to do? She only listens when he is harsh and his words vitriol.
She ran after that. With tears streaming down her face, she ran back to her Abba's place. Shut off her phone and cried the night away. That was four days ago.
She was an emotional mess he knew, Reema had the good grace of telling him that much. But what had happened now? What had Zara done to herself?
Kabeer barely shifted the gear to park before making a mad dash towards the hospital entrance.
"Jee, Hum Zara ke shouhar hai. Kya hua hai usse? Kaha hai woh?"
The nurse at the reception desk was least fazed, hardened by the trauma of daily casualties. "Patient ka pura naam please, Sir." He asked.
"Zara Kabeer Ahmed."
"Room 205, Second floor, Sir."
The handful of minutes that it took for Kabeer to reach the upper floor felt like an eternity and half. Breathless and scared out of his wits, he finally reaches the designated room. He breathes a little easy knowing that it wasn't an ICU, or worse an Operation Theatre. Just a normal room at a normal ward, nothing to worry about, he cajoles his heart, failing miserably.
There she lay sleeping, looking serene and peaceful save for the creases of worry that marred her face. Unable to resist the almost innate urge, Kabeer runs the back of his fingers down the rosiness of her cheeks, finally releasing a breath of relief.
Kabeer allows himself a minute to catch his breath and admire her pretty face and then his eyes search her body for any injuries. What warranted her to be admitted in the hospital? And where were her parents? Where was Reema?
A plump, kind looking nurse enters then like a heaven-sent answer to all his queries. "Aap kaun?" She asks alarmed, not having expected visitors.
"Jee-Hum-Zara...Kya hua?"
His words made little sense, but thankfully the nurse had experienced a fair share of tongue-tied and worried family. "Oh, Aap Zara ke pati hoge, na?"
Kabeer merely nods.
"Ghabrane ki koi baat nahi hai. Zara bas shock ke wajah se behosh ho gayi thi. Thodi hi derr mein inhe hosh aa jana chahiye." She smiles at him encouragingly.
"Shukriya." He responds but can't find it in himself to smile back. His attention was instead turned towards Zara, and just how cold and clammy her hands felt under his. Her pulse fluttered against his thumb. It was a little fast for his liking.
The nurse checked the monitors attached to Zara, throwing another small smile towards the besotted husband before making her leave.
"Ek minute!" Kabeer suddenly remembers. "Zara shock mein kyu thi?"
"Woh shayad bachi ke " Zara mutters muted unintelligent words right then, instantly gathering the attention of her husband and the nurse. The latter quickly checks the monitors once more, understanding there was nothing more that could be done for the lovely patient, she leaves.
"Zara." He takes her hand in his, drawing soothing patterns against her skin. "Zara. Hum hai yaha. Aankhe kholo, Zara."
"Kabeer..."
"Haan, Zara. Hum hai yaha." He finally breaks into a smile, lips finding purchase against her forehead.
Kabeer loved Zara's eyes. Big and doe-like. And he especially loved the way they would be bright as she would rub the last remains of sleep from the corner of her eyes.
Her eyes began to flutter open and Kabeer held still in anticipation, ready to have his breath knocked away. And it did, just not the way he was expecting.
Her eyes were supposed to be filled with mirth, not be tinted red with quickly falling tears.
She couldn't quite place herself. Where was she? She raises her hand to her head, trying to bring back whatever memory she was missing but then the IV tugs at her wrist painfully and she is reminded exactly of where and why she was here.
Her lips wobble. "Sara." She whispers. "Kabeer...Kabeer. Hum ne Sa- Sara," She shuts her eyes tight, as her mind mercilessly replays the tragic events hours ago. She feels like she is breaking. Her veins feel heavy and fiber in her body was frayed, tearing at the seams. She wraps her arms around herself, sure that Kabeer would hate her now that he knows what she did. She was truly alone now.
Kabeer was at loss. Zara was breaking down in front of him and he hadn't the slightest idea as to why. All he knew was that he wouldn't let Zara suffer alone. Throwing caution to the wind, he quickly jumps in on her bed and gathers her quivering body in his arms.
"Humne Sara ko maar diya. She admits before he can get a word of comfort out. She pulls back from his embrace. Her eyes empty of any emotions but every muscle in her body still taut with tension and grief. Zara couldn't meet his eyes. How was she, a murderer, supposed to look a maulvi in his eyes?
She knows there is no excuse for what she did, but her heart thudded painfully, begging her to explain herself to him. To make him see that she was just trying to help. That she didn't want to kill the poor child.
"Woh-woh storeroom mein locked thi, Kabeer. Storeroom mein-waha itni dhool aur, aur gandagi thi. Usne Sara ko-" She is hiccupping on her sobs as she narrates the event that made her a murderer. "Usne Sara ko waha-ek saat saal ki bachi ko store-room mein lock rakha tha, Kabeer! Store room mein.
Her eyes turn frantic now, almost as if she was re-living the tragedy. Kabeer had to look away, because if he saw the agony in her eyes once more, he swore it would be the death of him. "Aur Sara-Woh waha yuhi waha so rahi thi. Kabeer, humne usse jagah ne ki kitni koshish ki. Humne koshish ki thi Kabeer! Par Sara uth hi nahi rahi thi! Woh phool si bachi itni kamzoor ho gayi thi. Humari rooh kaap gayi thi. Koi-Koi ek bachi ke saath aisa kaise kar sakta hai?
She began shaking again. Kabeer had to beg her to stop. He wanted her to end this misery. "Bas, Zara. Tum so jao. Tumhe aaram ki zaroorat hai. He gently pushes her back to sleep, but Zara wasn't done yet. She had yet to explain herself. She owed that to him.
"Uske hoonth bilkul sookh gaye the-toh hum uske liye paani lene kitchen mein daude. Par jab hum Sara ko paani peelane ki koshish kiye, ussne humari goud mein-humari hi goud mein apna dum tod liya. Woh paramedics keh rahe the-ki achanak paani milne ke wajah se Sara ki body shock mein chali gayi, aur woh -woh mar-Humne usse maar diya, Kabeer!
Desperate to stop her shaking, and also to save himself from her desolate look, Kabeer gathers her tight in a hug. Her head was securely tucked under his chin and his arms wound tight around hers to prevent further shivering.
She mutters all the blame on herself continuously, while he mutters reassurances repeatedly. Both their words fell on deaf ears. Kabeer began gently rocking her when it was evident his words were doing little to help her and soon Zara passes out in his arms.
Though her sleep was not a peaceful one, Kabeer yet thanks his Creator. This was better than watching her in anguish.
The plump nurse from earlier, comes in at the right moment, carrying with her Zara's discharge papers and some more than helpful advice. "Bura mat manyega, Kabeer Ji, par kya hum aap ko ek advice de sakte hai, Zara ke baare mein?
Kabeer nods, discretely wiping the lone tears that threatened to fall down.
"Zara ko aap, thode dino ke liye Lucknow se durr le jaye. Zara already shock mein thi, aur ab aap dono ke peeche media lag jayegi. Zara already tension ke wajah se bahot kamzoor ho gayi hai. Yeh se durr, bas thode dino ke liye, unke behtar hoga.
Kabeer nods. It was a good piece of advice. Given how Zara fought time and time again for this case, the media would surely have her skin for this failure. And looking down on her pale face, Kabeer can clearly make out the bags under her eyes, and the hollow of her cheeks. If only he had acted earlier. If only he had gone with his heart instead of the ruling of his head...
The nurse asks him to sign the required papers before taking her leave.
"Jee, suniye! He calls before she can leave.
"Kya hum aap se, kuch sawaal pooch sakte hai? He inquired, hoping to get the answers he desperately needed.
"Bilkul.
"Sara ki mau- Sara ko kya hua tha? Zara bol rahi thi ki woh shock-?
"Sara ko Zara ki wajah se kuch nahi hua. Bachi 5 din se bhooki-Pyaasi thi. Usse us haywaan ne na ek tinka paani diya nae k dana khana. Sara ki body bahut pehle hi shock mein chali gaye thi.
There was no use trying to hide the tears now, Kabeer let them flow freely. "Aur Abida?
A look of remorse passes the nurse's face. She looked down as she spoke. "Physical and Sexual abuse.
There was nothing more to be said. "Inna lilahi w' inna illahi rajo'oon
Kabeer knew what he was supposed to do next. He couldn't save Abida and Sara, but he was damn sure he wasn't going to lose Zara. He wouldn't let her drown.
.
.
.
The thing is some people don't want to be saved. Sometimes they sign themselves off to defeat, other times to death.
But the funny thing ironically is that these people feel the least pain. It's for the simple reason that they have a target, a person or a situation to hide behind. Oh he/she should have tried harder to save me from this plight of mine. Or as seen in most cases, "Main majboor tha/thi. Agar halaat kuch alag hote toh shayad main aisa kadam na leta/leti. Either way they say these things and its done. Everyone will sympathize. Everyone will forgive.
The misery falls on the saviors. Because the job was supposed to simple. Save them from their hardships. But often saving them from their hardships was akin to saving them from hell, you are bound to get burned.
Currently Zara felt scalded.
Kabeer was sitting right beside her, muttering words she paid no attention to. Her mind was stuck on a constant loop of What if's?'
She did everything! She put her marriage on the line, considered ending her job at Sharia Board and YET! And yet is wasn't enough? She couldn't save them?
Anger, shame and guilt bubbled in her chest, pressing down on her lungs until she could no longer breath. IT WASN'T FAIR! IT WASN'T FAIR! IT WASN'T FAIR! DAMMIT!
She chokes, no longer able to hold all those emotions in her.
Maybe some people don't want to be saved. She knows she doesn't want to be right now. Would it be too bad to just drown in her own tears? Choke on a sob and never breath again? She feels like that anyway, drowning deeper and deeper in a bottomless ocean.
And then before hitting rock bottom, she feels the snugness of a life-jacket around herself. Hope. And Kabeer's arm.
She falls into his arms this time, instead of despair. And he catches her; pecking her ears in a gentle kiss, "Sab theek ho jayega, Zara.
"Promise?
"Promise.
She breaks herself out of his embrace and searches his eyes for any false hopes. There were none.
Zara places her head on his lap. "Promise na, Kabeer? Still uncertain. Hope and rainbows still seemed bleak and far.
Kabeer hated this. He hated seeing Zara this way. She was the sunshine in his life. To watch her so despondent and defeated was like a knife to the heart.
He knew that this case would bring them woe. He just didn't foresee to what extent. A fight between them, as Miya-Biwi was different. That was a fight they could handle with soft words and sweet caresses, good food and apologies. This- This was something entirely out of their control. Kabeer only wishes he knew how to handle such a delicate situation and his wife.
"Allah hume maaf karege na, Kabeer? Zara sniffles.
It kills him to see her in this state. And he wants to kill Qasim and Waseem too. Dammit he should have paid more attention to the case!
"Humari koi galti nahi hai iss mein, Zara.
She shakes her head, unconvinced. "Hum usse nahi bacha paye Kabeer! Sab humari galti hai. Humme aur koshish karni chahiye thi.
"Shh. Shh. He gently hushes her, threading his fingers through her tangled tresses. Her hiccupping sobs reduce to whimpers and soon she falls into fitful sleep.
It was before dawn, during that dark hour Zara has recently come to dread that she wakes up from a nightmare. She finds herself lying across Kabeer's lap. He was fast asleep but didn't seem peaceful as he normally would.
She stands up on shaky feet and makes her way towards the balcony of their hotel room. Kabeer had wisely carried her far away from Lucknow, away from accusing eyes and harsh media. He carried her to safety. She takes in an unsteady breath. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. It sounded so easy in her head, but her lungs were not cooperating. The lump in her throat gets heavier and heavier. She can hear Sara's finals words ringing on repeat in her ears and SHE CAN'T! SHE CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE! Her mouth opens to let out a scream of frustration but before she can, he is there again. Anchoring her when she felt like a ship lost at sea.
Kabeer wraps his arms around Zara's trembling frame. Grounding her back against his chest firmly. He takes her hand in his, placing them both across her chest. "Saas lo Zara. Mere saath.. He puffs up his chest in a deep breath, waiting until Zara's does the same. Then he slowly exhales, Zara thankfully imitates enough times to have regulated a normal breathing pattern.
"Hum haar gaye, Kabeer. She weeps. "Hum tumhe haar gaye, Abida aur Sara ko haar gaye. Hum bas sab kuch haar chuke hai.
Kabeer sighs. How was he meant to make her understand? "Par hum toh tumhare saath hai yaha.
She lets out a rueful chuckle, not feeling any better.
"Hum tumahre liye chai mangwa dete hai.
Since room service would not be available for another hour and a half, Kabeer leaves to get coffee from the 24/7 caf a street down from their hotel.
Two steaming cups of hot chocolate and a pack of not so fresh jalebi in hand, Kabeer returns to their room about thirty minutes later. Zara had occupied the chair in the balcony. And though it wasn't winter yet, he worried she might catch a cold. The monsoon mist was still heavy in the air. He places the coffee cups on the table before them and sits down next to her.
He would never admit it but his heart did some somersaults when he caught her smiling at the pack of jalebis. "Hum soch rahe the, she says reaching out for a jalebi despite her gloomy tone.
"Achi baat hai. Kabhi-kabhi aise kaam bhi karne chahiye.
Zara doesn't glare nor laugh at his mock. "Lautne ke baad hum Sharia Board se resign kar rahe hai. She peaks at him from under her lashes, "Tum sahi kehte the, humme sab, judge, waqeel aur gawah bane ki zidd thi. Par ab hum thak chuke hai.
The night suddenly felt darker despite the fast approaching dawn. Kabeer nods in understanding. He knew where this conversation originated from and where it was headed towards. A talk that started from defeat, verged along the lines of fear and loss and ultimately hoped for hope. Zara was trying to make amends where she could. She was trying to raise a castle from the ashes of her loss. Because he knew she only had one frayed thread to hand by. Him.
She lost everything. And now she was willing to do anything to keep herself from losing him too.
On any other way, where he was boosted by poorly inflated male ego, he would be elevated. Today was not that day. Kabeer shakes his head violently. "Nahi. He wasn't going to accept her defeat. He wouldn't allow her to give up. "Tum Sharia Board ko apna ishteefa tab tak nahi de sakti jab tak hum Abida aur Sara ko insaaf nahi dila dete. Hum tumhe aise haar ne nahi dege, Zara.
He kneels beside her, hands clutching her shoulders and shaking her to drive his point home. "Samjhi tum?
"Hum yeh aur nahi kar sakte Kabeer, agar hum dono ka phir se is baat ko le ke un-ban hogayi toh? Hum sab kuch kho chuke hai. Tumhe khona humme bardasht nahi hoga!
A single tear cascades down her cheeks, one that Kabeer catches against his thumb. A rueful, secret smile plays at the corner of his lips. "Tum humme kabhi nahi kho sakti.
"Humara dusra talaaq ho chuka hai, Kabeer.
"Aur agar hum tumhe wapas apna le toh?
For the first time in 2 days, Zara's face broke into a true smile.
He nods in answer to her disbelieving gob smacked look. God, he wants to kiss her silly. "Bas humara saath do Abida ko insaaf dilane mein. Aur jaise hi hum case jeet lete hai, tum humme bhi jeet jaogi!
And just like that the darkest hour was over and dawn had arrived.
THE END.
Liked it? Hated it? Let me know in the comments below, it really helps me improve as a writer and is always a good source of motivation!
Thank you!
With much love,
NvL❤️
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