Adijit / Meevan AT#24 Main Joru ka ghulam ban ke rahunga - Page 8

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Posted: 6 years ago
#71
leave it.πŸ₯±
Why is she planning if she does not want to forgive him is not a question of importance I guess. I live a normal life, I can't beat policemen in the city to catch criminals. So I won't get her intelligent plans anyway. Why can't Vivaan just get lost? He is also normal. πŸ˜†
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Posted: 6 years ago
#72

Originally posted by: The_May_Rose

It is more balanced than you might think Yaara. But it entirely your choice if you want to check the hashtag. 😳


Yeah so i just checked.

Let's allow writers to do their job okay?πŸ˜† If writers are allowed to make a wife silently support her husband's humiliation, then let them insert push scenes as well. Why should we care?

I have sworn off twitter.

I might not even get to improve my post count if it goes like that. There's only so much I can rant about this show's forever-right FL. Those who come here deserve positivity.

Good night yaara. πŸ€—
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Posted: 6 years ago
#73

Originally posted by: cuppa_n_cricket


πŸ˜”

She's not going. And this is not fair.
I feel like Vivaan.


Saat samundar par mein teri...πŸ˜†

Don't worry I'm not going anywhere. Just busy with Eid on tue and getting my daughters nitty gritty for boarding school.
Also school opens in 2 weeks...
and it goes on and on and on... but you'll always see me peeking in when I'm trying to avoid real work and responsibility πŸ˜†
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Posted: 6 years ago
#74

Originally posted by: cuppa_n_cricket


🀣

Well you have a partner in crime. I do not want MeeVaan together either. 🀣

We sound like such weirdosπŸ˜† We are all like, Meervan shouldn't be together on a Meervan appreciation thread 🀣

My reasons are altogether different and complicated but yeah... I was one of those who could NOT STAND "separation track" even mentioned with their name. This was a couple that I did not want to see apart ever. At least not until they could have confessed properly (because after that it is Indian TV and they need ratings and allπŸ˜†) I was to stop watching after they confessed anyway.

Tell us about your reasons. Would love to know them πŸ˜ƒ I agree though, I never ever wanted Meervan to separate. In fact, whichever show I watch, I often wonder why don't they show couples fighting their circumstances together. Is it really that easy to leave your better half behind in the face of a crisis? Why don't they try to work out their issues instead of just giving up on each other? And I think after a long time, I actually came across a show, where for whatever reasons the couple couldn't give up on each other. It was probably the external circumstances, but somewhere I always believed it was because of their need to be with each other, in spite of what they said or did.
Unfortunately, they ruined that. And now honestly at this stage, I feel like everything I had believed about Meera was wrong.
I know I sound dangerously close to coming across as a sexist, cause I seem to be picking only on Meera, but I feel they ruined her character far worse than they did Vivaan's.
They set up Vivaan really well with this family issues and his own set of prejudices about women but they also highlighted the moments where his notions about Meera get dispelled, well.
He always thought she was a gold digger and even somewhere like his mother, but then she saves him and he sees the other side of her, the more protective, the caring and the loving side of hers and I thought it was done wonderfully. I loved that shot where he was slowing losing consciousness or gaining butπŸ˜† either way, all that he saw was Meera trying to break the door to save him and to him, that meant a lot. Irrespective of however much they might have tried to downplay Vivaans pain, it always managed to catch my attention, sometimes more than Meeras pain, cause it was always so subtle. Every little thing she did for him always meant a lot for him, because he had been devoid of love and care all his life.
With Meera, I think until their divorce, I think they did a good job. There was not much of a character growth in terms of learning from your mistakes or even reflecting on them, but you just knew that her heart was in the right place. She was immature but then somewhere she is still a kid who was up against people and situations she had never faced before and she tried to deal with them in the best way she could. She shouldn't have, she should have taken help or even tried to listen to and understand Vivaans perspective but like Vivaan said her biggest issue was the fact that he believed that she could singlehandedly set everything right.
Now, its come to the point that she doesn't make any sense. She is a ball of contradictions and everything she had done in the past seems to have been more of a duty given how she is behaving now. I had thought it was out of love but her actions now are making me question, if it was ever love or was it always her being a good human being or a good wife.

But writers have messed up so bad that theirs has become a toxic relationship. I think all that trust talk is rich coming from Meera because she herself has hardly trusted his judgement, his views, him for most. She does not even care that he is putting up with all this nonsense for the sake of their relationship, however 'abhorring' he is? The least he deserves is clarity from her side and not mixed signals.

Agreed again, she never trusted him. It's sad I feel this way about her now cause initially even when she was so sure that his mother had never abandoned him, I still feel like somewhere she got him. Thinks like her praying in the gurudwara and hoping that Pammi didn't turn out to be like how Vivaan though she was shown that she was simply driven by her notion of Indian mothers, she wasn't necessarily trying to prove herself right. Her actions were driven by her bias, and sometimes she did come across as insensitive but for the most part, she seemed like she was doing it for him.
Now, I don't even believe that. Now it seems like she never understood him, trusted him or even got him as an individual. She never even tried to understand how her actions might have come across to him, cause she was so busy in proving Pammi's innocence.
And Vivaan... an MCP??πŸ˜† How can any girl forgive all that he did? And he thinks putting up with abuse himself is going to excuse him?

I don't think Vivaan's an MCP, but Vivaan has a lot of baggage that he is carrying along with him, which needs to be addressed but probably never will be. I know his physical abuse was very out of character for him, but I somewhere always saw it coming. Not the extreme abuse they showed but I always thought he was a little unhinged, to begin with. Like even the first time he pinned her to the wall, and then he said sorry, it almost seemed like for those few minutes he wasn't in control of himself. The moment he realized what he was doing, he backed off and grudgingly apologized. For someone who didn't like being touched, he sure didn't have a problem, holding her up against the wall. I know that's not how you saw him and I didn't either, to an extent. I am not saying that he had abusive tendencies in him, what he did show were lapses in judgment when his anger flared up.
That is no excuse for his actions ad I am not saying his actions are justified. I empathize with his inner turmoil and his loss, but irrespective of that his reaction to his loss became abuse for someone else. His feelings can be justified not his actions because if we were to start judging peoples actions based on their circumstances we could justify a number of crimes and criminals would go scot free. Even in the face of the worst of situations, you have the choice to decide on how do you want to react to it, Vivaan chose to react to his loss impulsively. He has my heart for all that he has faced and lost and I can understand that at the blast site he was not in a position to think clearly so he reacted and divorced her on the spot, but post that his physical abuse were choices he consciously made. Again his intentions could probably be understood, he saw Meeras inability to listen to him as the reason why he had lost his mother and thats alright but was physically hurting her the only way he could get his anger across? Sure she refused to leave him, but you could distanced yourself from her. You could have hated her all you wanted but to the point that you don't even care that she could have died and her death would have been on your hands, is again a decision you made and that action cannot be justified.
I don't think he ever intended to abuse her like I said he never came across as the guy to me who liked intimidating Meera or even enjoyed abusing her but his anger is what makes him commit crimes. Even if his anger stems from justifiable reasons, it culminates in actions which cannot be justified. And that there is the catch 22, which I have always associated with Vivaan.
As circumstances worsened, his anger did as well and when angry, he forgets who he is dealing with completely and he needs to address that. He is not even the same person when he is angry and that needs to be fixed. And I feel he understood that. When he was talking with Meera in the hospital, sure the focus was more on him leaving her than his physical abuse, but again I feel that's cause he never intended to abuse her. It was a spontaneous and impulsive reaction to the situations, as wrong as they were. But at the very least, he understands his shortcomings, he realizes that he doesn't know how to maintain relationships and hurts and misunderstands people when he gets angry.
Again, I dont think he wants to put up with abuse to get himself excused but he sees no other way to actually earn her forgiveness. I think in this track they have done well in showing how any individual who is guilty would feel. He feels lost to an extent, he doesn't know how to fix things and when he was talking with Meera near the well at night, that he what he was getting at. He was like tell me what to do and I will do it. He wants to stop her from hurting and he wants things to go back to how they were but he doesn't know how to do that. So, he was complying with what he was being told to do in the hopes that that 'll be enough to show them all that this time around he won't give up on her and if this was how they wanted him to atone for his mistakes then he was ready to do it. He is guilty and ashamed but I like the fact that he also gets irritated and frustrated and loses hope. Which I missed in Meera. She seemed to be stuck to the point that he loves me. I get that you understood the reason why he was behaving so hurtfully, but I would have loved a breakdown when he threw her down the stairs. Maybe that was again not his intention but the fact remained that she did fall down and more than the physical hurt, the fact that your husband did it should have hurt more. I would have loved her at being war with herself like Vivaan is now. Its ok if you are guilty and understand the other person's anger but somethings are bound to hurt and scar you.
If she can forgive him or not, that's up to her. If you really want this to work, you'll find a way and both of them will heal with time, but for that, she has to decide. She has to decide if she really wants this marriage. People can come back from a lot of things and marriages can survive a lot of mishaps, but only when both of them really want to make it work. Vivaan is ready to work it out if he has to, to show her that he is in this for the long haul and he is ready o give her time as well, all he is asking for is a chance, but she doesn't know what she wants.
The first disconnect that I felt with her was before the surgery and post the surgery where suddenly all the understanding for Vivaan was gone. But still, I guess she had been through so much herself, she was bound to be emotionally drained. Even when her father blackmailed her in the hospital, I got her turmoil. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and before she could recover she was being played by pretty much the most important man in her life. But she lost me post that. Her insistence on not wanting to choose but still choosing her dad, her muteness and anything and everything she did made no sense to me. I could relate to her anger and her pain, especially that moment when she felt that he wanted to run her over, which seemed to be etched in her memory, I understood that but not her actions. They could have shown her pain, anger, and confusion in a much better way, rather than making her such a blatant hypocrite.


There is no understanding between them, no trust between them but Meera is forever kept on an alter. It is like only she understands the world while the rest are fools... when her actions could be held as responsible to an extent for her husband's current state of loss.

This has always been her biggest issue, but she still doesn't see it as that. She still feels she understands relations and everything else that comes with them, better than Vivaan does. But how can I blame her, her Dadi is the propagator of thoughts like Women are strong cause the can keep families together and if left on men, they would probably never be able to do it.πŸ˜•

Vivaan shows shades of a sensible person but it appears like he disregards feelings of anyone when he is in pain himself, particularly the wife. Previously it was self harm... how did it switch to 'harm your love'? But whatever it is, this is what he is right now.

Yup, like I said when angry he gets completely consumed by it. I don't even think it registers with him, that what he is doing is downright abuse. Also, I still don't think his intention was to harm her like it was to hurt himself. Hurting himself are conscious decisions, abusing her are instinctual reactions to situations. They are absolutely unjustified but in his anger, he reacts however he pleases. Which like you said is his biggest problem.

It is probably only me, but I do not think he deserves forgiveness... at least not until he has addressed the ACTUAL issue. And that issue is not trust. It is the disregard he has for this relationship to an extent that he thinks he is liable to call it off anytime, anywhere. Yes, he is putting up with crap rn to hold on to the last strand... but does he reflect on that instinct of his? Does his wife tell him the actual issue between them? (So much for her understanding).

I don't know if he reflects on his habit of walking off, but I think he does understand that he is bad at maintaining relationships. It's like walking out of this marriage has always been like a knee-jerk reaction to every crisis he has faced. Again I understand he has issues, but he has to understand that he was not the only one in the marriage, she was in it as well and him walking out on her was hurtful for her. Like even during their drunk romance, when he leaves for a moment, Meeras first thought is kahi tum phirse to mujhe chorke nahi chale gaye. And it's hard to live life like that, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But he understands that now. He told Meera that he doesn't know how to maintain stable relationships and even during the pregnancy drama he did say he has way too many issues associated with him, so how could he bring a child into this world when he was himself such a mess. He would still have done the right thing and would not have abandoned the child, just like he married Meera because that was the right thing to do in the situation but I don't think he realizes that post doing the righteous thing, you also have to work hard to keep up a relationship. But he gets that now. Having Meera getting angry, makes him realize that he cannot always be the one to call of their relation. He also understands that a marriage needs work and that's what he is trying to convince her off, that he can be a good husband.
If can be forgiven or not is a subjective question, but for the sake of everyone's sanity its most important that Meera decides that soon.
His wife, honestly I don't even think realizes his issues. Just like his first reaction is to walk away from her, her first reaction is to blame him. In certain situations it made sense. Now, not so much.

They clearly need a break from the other because they are so messed up. Meera will never understand her mistakes while Vivaan's hidden MCP can rear his ugly face any given day because they are not talking about THAT.

I still don't think he is a chauvinist πŸ˜† but his temper issues need addressing.

Let him go back to London. Let him apologize for his mistakes like causing her harm, for disregarding the marriage. Because out of the two, he was the one who always did that, however 'bad' he was/is... she hardly does and will never do either. She is always right after all.
So forget the impossible... Just go apart... see you if still care and then maybe, who knows. Rn they hardly come across as "meant to be".

Meera I feel causes more emotional harm to Vivaan, which often gets disregarded, either cause she is a girl or cause like they say, if its not bleeding, its not hurting, or well something along those lines πŸ˜† She says a lot of hurtful things, especially in situations when he doesn't need that but that never gets addressed. In a lot of situations, I have felt like he wants to open up to her, he wants to share his pain but somehow she does not reciprocate properly. Both of them I believe didn't have a lot of regard for their marriage, the little regard Meera had was because of her upbringing. What they did have was a regard for their relationship, beyond the tags or responsibilities that come with the word marriage. Vivaan especially since he didn't believe in conventionality, he did not have much of a regard for their marriage per say, but he had regard for her. She mattered to him. And that's why even if not as a husband, he wanted to be there for her and with her. He even trusted her in certain circumstances, but as things started getting more convoluted and the more Meera resisted, all the negative emotions he was feeling started making themselves known. He started having regard for the marriage along with his realization of his feelings.
Meeras current actions make me feel like she only had regard for their marriage cause of the societal expectations and cause of her family. It's sad now that I think back on things that I had previously found so cute, it all seems like she was only fulfilling her duties, they were never out of love. Like even when Amar and everyone else was telling her to come back to them cause her child's life was in danger, her response was that you have taught me to never leave my husband behind, that had seemed romantic then and I had thought, she doesn't realize she loves him yet and she is using their teachings as a way to convince them, in reality, she just can't be without him.. Now that I think back the signs were always there, I was the one was delusional. Meera was always this girl who was driven by duties and her family. It was me who had probably tried to find love in her actions. At least in that sense, I have to applaud Vivaan that he was never driven by traditions and conventions. He did only what he believed in and that is what mattered, sure that made him selfish at times and that is what I feel he is trying to rectify this time, by living by someone else's rules.
Maybe I am being a bit too harsh when it comes to Meera, but they have really butchered her to the point that I am questioning everything that I had thought about her once. And maybe I am being a bit too lenient when it comes to Vivaan but irrespective of however they tied to uplift Meera at his expense, one dialogue here and there and just how he was set up initially, helps me as an audience connect to him a lot better, compared to Meera.
They most definitely need a break from each other. They need to be away from each other and reflect on where all they as individuals have gone wrong, rather than blame the other person or the circumstances.

EDITED to add- Do they even have basic respect for each other's space? I will not touch KBM or invading his grudge towards mom for now... but for the love of recent events, one takes ulte phere with wife in middle of a road while the other supports her husband being called a servant and... wait for it... addresses him as one herself. πŸ‘πŸ‘

WOW I didn't know i'd hate them so much.

KBM, I always felt was the best way Vivaan thought he could handle an emergency. I know Meera always felt she was never given a choice, but I don't think there were many options in that particular situation and he wasn't really in a position to ask for consent. Sure, in real life the parents would have probably called the police but given how incompetent they were and how the crowd was behaving, the only way to shut them up and get them to leave her alone was to make her his wife.
Back then, I had thought Meera really wanted him happy, and she was doing the best she could in those circumstances, even if at times he really did want her to back off or even empathize with him, but I still felt she was putting up with so many taunts only to see him happy again. Now it seems like the signs of her being righteous FL were being presented to me right from the start, I just didn't want to believe it.

For the recent events, like I said Vivaan was in a very vulnerable state of mind and he acted out just like Meera did when Vivaan divorced her. Their actions make you cringe but you get that they are clearly not in the right frame of mind. Its when a third person gets involved that I start to get pissed off. If in retaliation to her humiliation if Meera does something to him, I would have felt bad but I would have got it, just like I got Vivaan. But, here we have her father disrespecting him and she seems unaffected and completely unperturbed by her father's actions. It's honestly her hypocrisy which is getting to me. Even if he couldn't fulfill his responsibility of keeping her respect and dignity intact, as her husband, he can at least sleep easy knowing he never let a third person dishonor her.

But yup, they lack respect for each other. Which is why when angry and disturbed, they hurt the other person the most. They disrespect them, without even caring about who is watching and how their spouse must be feeling. They completely disregard their relationship and love and let their anger get the best of them. Which is why they need time away from each other. Before this track I wouldn't have said this, but now its honestly downright toxic. They need to heal as individuals before they can get back to each other.

Phew, thats one long reply πŸ˜†
Also, forgive the typos and the grammar, I wrote such a lamba post on my phone πŸ˜²πŸ˜†

Edited by 9luck - 6 years ago
The_May_Rose thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
#75
Good morning everyone! 😊

@Chandu - I share some of your thoughts regarding Vivaan and Meera but I still want MeerVaan at all costs.πŸ˜†

I refuse to go along with the writers tricks and for them to always prove Vivaan wrong or try to convince us that separation/conflict between the leads is good drama. πŸ˜›

Edited by The_May_Rose - 6 years ago
9luck thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
#76

Originally posted by: The_May_Rose

Good morning everyone! 😊
πŸ€—

@Chandu - I share some of your thoughts regarding Vivaan and Meera but I still want MeerVaan at all costs.πŸ˜†

Adijit have amazing chemistry that deserves to be exploited and Meervan's essence according to me was their inability to let go of each other. They have effectively ruined that. The only way to get that back would be to show some repentance and reflectance on Meeras part. For her to step back and think that her actions and words and currently even her inaction has consequences and victimizing herself in every situation is not the best approach. She has to open her eyes and see that every time she has blamed Vivaan, has misunderstood him and supported her father over him, it has hurt him. If nothing else, can she at least see that her father is not doing anything out of his love for her?
But going by the Twitter updates, it seems like her character is only getting degraded further and going by the CV's track record she will emerge victorious and well you know the rest of the drill πŸ˜† And that exactly is the reason I am finding Meervan hard to digest, cause at this stage I don't even think she ever loved him. If they could show even one single episode with Meera behaving more like a normal human being rather than Amar Dhingras daughter😑, I would be rooting for them again, but I don't think that'll happen and like I had said, CV's could care less about what I want πŸ˜†

I am glad though, that at least the audience is calling her out on her hypocrisy. I loved the twitter conversations you are having with some of the other viewers.

I refuse to go along with the writers tricks and for them to always prove Vivaan wrong or try to convince us that separation/conflict between the leads is good drama. πŸ˜›

Same, but unfortunately that's probably how this track will conclude as well, with Vivaan being proved wrong Anything else and I would consider that as an outright miracle, given the talent of the CV's πŸ˜†

Edited by 9luck - 6 years ago
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Posted: 6 years ago
#77
Twitter - We are speculating the idea of a Lattu Ji track to stop Meera's madness. 🀣

@Sree - Don't disown me! πŸ˜†

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Posted: 6 years ago
#78

Originally posted by: The_May_Rose

Twitter - We are speculating the idea of a Lattu Ji track to stop Meera's madness. 🀣

@Sree - Don't disown me! πŸ˜†

May...I read the discussion on twitter that if Vivaan disguise in sardar look ...etc... is there any article regarding this or it is just a prediction? 😊 It is good idea if they end it in 2episodes and don't stretch it like saddi's track
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Posted: 6 years ago
#79

Originally posted by: Bhagwati00

May...I read the discussion on twitter that if Vivaan disguise in sardar look ...etc... is there any article regarding this or it is just a prediction? 😊 It is good idea if they end it in 2episodes and don't stretch it like saddi's track



No news. We are just having fun. πŸ˜†
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Posted: 6 years ago
#80
guyss... if they give us proper remarriage(from my POV chances is less) where you all want it to be in village or in kapoor mansion ??
I want in kapoor mansion...
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