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As Zara raised her veil and looked up towards him shyly through her thick lashes, Kabeer felt his mouth go dry. He stood there, transfixed in time, mesmerised by the sight before him.
There was something about her, which made her endearing, even though she insisted on overtly defying him as often as she did. Maybe it was her childlike innocence. Deep down, he knew she meant well, even if she was wrong. He steeled himself, however, and asked her why she was dressed as a bride.
And - as he ought to have expected - she spoke her mind, and reminded him that they had not taken their relationship to the next level. He would have been surprised to hear any other woman talk so openly, and might even have found it brazen, shameless. But not Zara. Zara, for all her boldness, had a certain purity about her, that even in his angriest of moments, he could not deny. There was no pretence with Zara, no artifice... she was simply herself, blunt and transparent, perhaps to a fault.
Kabeer almost felt his lips curve into a smile, but stopped himself in time. He could not indulge her and allow her to persist in her misguided ways and notions. It was his responsibility to help her perform her own duties of obedience and deference and usher her towards the right path, so that she would be closer to God, and together, they would become better versions of themselves, as was required of them.
No, he corrected himself instantly. This was not about indulging her. This was about her rights as a wife, that he could not deny.
With slow, measured steps, he walked up to her, and took her hand in his, marvelling to himself at how soft and delicate she felt. Like a flower. A flower offering herself to him. A sense of nervousness overcame him. She seemed so fragile... what if he inadvertently hurt her? The guilt that had felt when he had held her so harshly by the shoulders that day had never ceased to haunt him, even though he had been too ashamed to seek her forgiveness. He looked at her uncertainly, seeking reassurance, and found that even though she seemed just as nervous as he was, her gaze was steady.
Even so, an undeniable blush coloured her face as she held her arms out to him, inviting him in her embrace. He found himself drawn to her, inexorably, in a way that could not be defined or explained. There was something in that moment that went beyond the physical realm, something that made their union feel preordained. Perhaps it was the will of God, or perhaps something else... As he felt her frame in his arms, fitting snugly against him, like the missing piece of a puzzle, a sense of peace seemed to wash over him, with all his stress and anxiety beginning to fade away to oblivion.
He frowned slightly at the loss of warmth he felt as she gently detached herself from him, her breathing laboured, her eyes demurely lowered, as though she had suddenly grown self-conscious of their proximity.
His hands seemed to move on their own accord as they slid her veil from her head, and lingered deliberately on her hair, her shoulders, her back. He could feel every curve and crevice of her body through her clothes. His heart began to pound madly as he realised the significance of the moment.
Zara... beautiful Zara... headstrong yet innocent, defiant yet pious, unyielding yet kind-hearted... his Zara, was going to become his in every sense of the word.
His hands found the zipper at the back of her kurta and he slowly tugged at it, his fingers trembling with anticipation, as though he were unwrapping a gift that had blessed upon him. He allowed his fingers to trail across her bare back. He felt himself bite into the edge of a smile, attempting to contain his amusement, as he noticed that she was breathing in gasps now, and her eyes were doggedly trained on her own knees. Zara was truly a bundle of contradictions, she could be outspoken one moment, and coy the very next. Perhaps that was what drew him to her even more... to see the effect that he had on this fiery spirit who was otherwise oozing with confidence.
He hooked his finger under her chin and raised her face so her gaze would meet his. But her eyes were practically closed out of shyness now. He chuckled softly as he cupped her face and held his forehead against hers, breathing in her fragrance and allowing it to subsume him. Her skin felt cool and soothing against his own feverishly hot body. It seemed physically impossible for him to hold himself back anymore. He seemed to have lost all ability to think. The mere sensation of his breaths mingling with hers, seemed to have rendered him light-headed. He wanted nothing more than for their proximity to last forever, and yet, at the same time, he ached for... so much more.
Slowly, she raised her gaze to meet his, and he saw the darkened hues of his own yearning mirrored in her beautiful eyes. Despite all the misunderstandings and disagreements that they had had so far, in that moment, he had no difficulty in deciphering her feelings.
He tenderly brushed his lips against hers, before placing a kiss on her lips. He pulled away uncertainly, his eyes searching hers for any sign of discomfort. But he found none, and he placed a second kiss on her mouth, a hungry, demanding kiss, filled to the brim with myriad unspoken desires. He slanted his head further, deepening the kiss, savouring the minty taste of her quickening breaths. And he sighed into the kiss as he felt her lips trying to move in sync with his. If anything, the imperfection of her innocent attempts, turned him on even more. His hand found her slender waist, and he pulled him in closer towards him. He felt her small hands run tentatively across his back, and even through the fabric of his kurta, he could sense his pores tingle where her hands had travelled.
Panting, he broke away from her, and frantically freed himself from his kurta and pajama, before proceeding to fumble with the innumerable zips and hooks of her clothes and jewelry. It seemed to take an eternity before they finally embraced without the suffocating hindrance of their clothes, skin to skin, as they were meant to be. He tried to slowly disengage himself from her arms but she had stubbornly buried herself in his chest, and refused to budge.
He grinned as he nuzzled his lips along her neck, before placing hot, fervent kisses across her neck and shoulder, as she squirmed against him and raked her fingers through his hair.
"Kabeer..." she moaned.
He merely hummed, mischievously, feigning ignorance of the plea in her voice.
But she surprised him, as she placed a soft feathery whisper of a kiss on his chest, before raising her eyes to his with intent.
He smiled and kissed her forehead before he gently lay her down on the bed. Holding her gaze in his, he hovered over her delicate frame, and attempted in vain to steady the adrenaline surging within him.
"Zara?" he asked. He wanted to know if she was sure... but words failed him.
She seemed to understand his question, though, and nodded in consent, her eyes glistening with unshed emotions. He slammed his lips over hers passionately, as his hands freely roved across her body, in an attempt to ease her tensed muscles.
It took an unfathomable amount of self-control on his part to take things slow, and not give in to the raw, primal hunger coursing through his veins like liquid fire. Finally, when he felt her body beginning to surrender to his ministrations, and arch towards him, he allowed himself to become one with her, body and soul.
A tear escaped his eye when he finally collapsed against her, sweating profusely, completely spent, completely content.
And as she snuggled into the crook of his arm, and melted against his frame, he felt happiness as he never felt before. He felt at home with her in a way that he would have never imagined. He felt... complete.
Their bodies were still entwined in one another the next morning when he woke up from the best sleep he had had in years. He smiled as he beheld the serenity on her glowing face, framed by unruly locks of hair, dishevelled by their lovemaking. She had never looked so beautiful to him. It felt as though he had lived a dream.
But dreams, notoriously so, never lasted forever.
Kabeer had to force himself to remember that he was, above all else, a man of principle. He had a duty to God, to himself, and to Zara herself, to guide her towards what was right, and Kabeer Ahmad would always do the right thing, no matter how much it hurt.
He had been certain that he would be doing the right thing by impressing upon her the need to perform one's duties as dictated by the holy book. But for some reason, when he pushed her away from him, and spoke to her as though the previous night represented nothing but the fulfilment of his duties... and when he saw the beaming happiness in her eyes give way to a sad, questioning look, something broke inside him. He felt as though as though he had failed... as though he had failed her and himself... and his God.
After all, he had lied, hadn't he?
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