Hello, I'm Payal. I recently came to know about bepanah and after binge-watching the show in two days, its hard not to be enthralled by the awesomeness that is Adiya. My head was running crazy with fantasies so I ended up writing a little something.
I intended it to be a drabble but I always seem to cross word limits. Anyway, I hope its not too boring. Let me know if I should write more. 😊
~~~ Why do you care, Aditya? ~~~
Aditya was having a hard time concentrating on switching and matching candies on his phone, losing the game third time in a row. It only served to fuel his growing frustration, making it difficult for him to keep everything bottled up.
Lifting his eyes, he tightened his jaw as his gaze fell upon the source of his current predicament.
Zoya Siddiqui.
A myriad of emotions washed over him as he took her in for the umpteenth time. She was seated at her desk, her lost, haunted eyes transfixed on a file. As if frozen in time and space, she had barely moved a muscle over the last few hours.
It surprised him when regardless of all the animosity that he bore towards her, his heart clenched painfully as he took in her state. He could feel the pain behind her empty eyes, the mind-numbing agony of betrayal. It robbed him of his breath, reviving his own wounds. All this while he had been hell-bent on breaking her blind faith on her treacherous husband and now when he had finally had his way, all he wanted was to take it all back. He had no idea it would be this hard to behold her with the will to live wiped out from her soul.
But why? He asked himself. Why was she affecting him so?
It bothered him that he couldn't come up with an answer. He felt confused, hurt and even more confused for feeling hurt.
Enough. He thought. He was simply overthinking. Seeing her bleeding on her bathroom floor had thrown him off skelter. He simply felt guilty for having pushed her off the edge. That was all, he decided. She wasn't anyone special. She was definitely not his responsibility.
Content with his inner monologue, he was about to go back to his game when his eyes fell on the full plate of food lying on her table, untouched. His eyes flitted towards the clock. It was one in the morning. Something snapped inside him then. Before he could put a finger on what was happening, he found himself at her table, snatching the file from her hands and hurling it across the room.
Seconds passed before she lifted her resigned eyes up at him, entertaining him with no further reaction. Anger gripped every nerve of his body.
"Get up." He said slowly, resisting an overwhelming urge to yell. "I'm taking you home."
"Thank you. But I'd rather be here." Came her spent, flat reply as she pushed her chair back and stood up. Before she could take a step, he saw her sway ever so slightly. She gripped the edge of the table to steady herself just as his hands shot out to grab her arms.
"Zoya-"
"Hum theek hain." She cut him off, not meeting his eyes. "Aap chale jaiye. Hum kaam khatam karke ghar laut jayenge."
He couldn't believe this girl. Unwittingly or not, somehow she always managed to trigger his anger.
"Yeh kya pagalpan hai?" He growled, hitting his palm on her table, sending a rattling noise reverberating into the silence of the night.
The sudden action caused her to flinch and he felt a strange sense of relief for finally having elicited some reaction out of her. But he wasn't done. He was far from it. He simply couldn't watch her suffering incessantly. Seeing her stiocism was doing strange, unfathomable things to his heart and all he knew was that he had to put a goddamn end to it. For his sake.
"Kya mil jayega tumhe khud ko takleef pahuchakar, han?" He asked, taking a step in her direction, leaving but a few inches between them.
"Hum khud ko koi takleef nahi pahucha rahe." She took a step back, her eyes downcast. He inched yet closer to her causing her to back away. Before long, her back was touching the wall and he was caging her in with his hands on either side of her face.
"Right." He gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. His unwavering, probing eyes trapped her resigned ones. He had to admit her eyes had always intrigued him. Like herself, her eyes were pure too. Untainted by lies, deception and cruel ways of the world. They were an honest window to her soul. No matter how much he used to taunt her for being nave and foolish, he longed to see her face shining with her innocence again.
"When was the last time you've had something to eat?" he asked softly.
Her eyes darted back to the floor.
"Thought so." He muttered. "Chalo mere saath." He said, grabbing her uninjured wrist and walking towards the door, only to be met by her resistance.
"Humein bhookh nahi hai. Chodiye humara haath."
"Oh for f*ck sake, Zoya!" he yelled, releasing her hand. "Yeh kya naatak laga rakha hai tumne? Subah se pagalon ki tarah kaam kiye ja rahi ho! Na kuch khaya hai, na kisi se dhang se baat ki hai! Why the hell are you hurting yourself? Tumhare pyaare pati ne kam kiya hai jo tum aur kar rahi ho?!" he let out in a single breath.
He grabbed her arms, pulling her close so that their bodies were pressed against each other. "Listen to me. And listen good." He barked, his brown eyes raging with fury. "I'm tired of your bullshit. THIS ENDS NOW."
He could feel her breath quicken, as the curtains of lifelessness in her eyes slowly etched away, making way for vulnerability. His hard eyes softened immediately. Her face twisted in agony as if she was reminiscing her worst moments. She clenched her eyes shut, trying desperately to get a hold of herself, to keep herself from breaking down yet again.
"Why?" she whispered, after an eternity seemed to have passed. "Why do you care?" she asked looking directly into his eyes.
Aditya's hands went slack. He hadn't seen that coming. He stepped back as if being dealt a blow.
It was a simple question. He itched to make a callous, indifferent remark. He even had a bunch of those ready in his head to choose from. But his mouth wouldn't obey. He realized he couldn't feign indifference towards her anymore. And the realization scared him to the bone.
~~~ x ~~~
Survived this piece of crap till the end? Wow. You've got talents! 😆
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