An update was due since months... here it is.
A very long update. [11 pages in a word file and almost 4500 words]
I crave for your comments and votes, please show me some love guys... ;)
Do tell me how was it? Because I desperately need some inspiration.
PS: This part is completely fictional, the places are purely from my creation.
***
33.
Sharon*
I stared at the wall hard, processing the turn of events. The harder I stared the faster realization drowned on me. I was going to spend a day with the love of my life yet I was rather petrified than excited, Swayam's buoyancy petrified me. I knew I needed a day away from the complication that is my life but I was not certain if I really want it.
"As much as I love the feeling of you being in my room, I would rather prefer you getting ready in yours, Swayam said from the washroom, his voice muffled due to the separation. I ignored him. Closing the door behind I left the room but only after smiling at what he added later. "Wear something comfortable,
After changing into something comfortable, as he wanted, I walked out of the room to bang into a warm body. From how my body reacted, I knew whom that warm body belonged. Slightly stumbling back from the impact of the collision, I steadied myself to see Swayam grinning goofily at me. His hand reached out without any hesitation. "Are you okay?
"Yeah, I whispered, looking at the ground, suddenly feeling nervous as the distance between us reduced to zero. Giving a small tug on my hand, he pulled me towards him nullifying the non-existent distance. Abashed at his action, I looked up to see him smirking with a mischievous glint in his eyes. It did not take him much time and efforts to hook his arms around me in a solid grip, my hands gradually rested on his chest. Too awkward to acknowledge the tension between us I avoided his gaze, dropping mine down. The rush of blood was so steady to deny. I could feel the warmth when they accumulated on my cheeks.
"You look stunning, He breathed out, warm breaths fanning my cheeks, intensifying the hue. Compliments had been unusual in my life; those still felt strange and to react to those was a strenuous work because I did not know how to acknowledge them. However, this time as something snapped inside me, I looked up to see him staring at me with an emotion I could not really fathom. The intensity they held was foreign. There had been moments like this before but unlike those, it was different, a good different. He finally did not just look at me, he saw me and I saw how vulnerable he looked, letting his emotions take control over his actions. For that fleeting moment, I knew he has changed, and with a gasp, I recognized the emotion his demeanor screamed as love. He smiled.
Hastily breaking the eye contact, I pulled away from him, after muttering a small thank you. "Let's go, His smile fell for a mere second but soon the same exciting look from before returned. We walked out together, taking subtle glances at each other. He looked charming, ready to take the breath away of any girl. Dressed in tight dark jeans and a pale green full sleeved t-shirt, with sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and paired it with a pair of black converse. Casuals looked better on him. I wanted to return the favor of compliment but did not. I did not want to give him false hope.
"What are the plans? I asked out of utter curiosity as soon as we buckled inside the car, a mere apprehension lacing on my actions. He started the ignition before sparing me a look, which clearly said that he was not going to tell me and I better stay quiet, "Oh come on Swayam, don't be like that. I whined when I got nothing in reply.
"Like what? He smirked in return, liking how clichd his life was turning but in reality, it was anything but normal. Everyone hates clich but loves it secretly.
"Like we are normal,
He raised an eyebrow, looking at me amused. "The last time I checked we were normal,
Lie.
I gave him an unbelievable look, "We are anything but, I trailed off, not welcoming the sudden change of mood. Taking eyes off him, I looked out of the window, watching how we left the trees behind.
"We are going to find out what we have been missing out as a couple, He stressed the word couple, gauging my reaction but he got nothing as I plainly concealed it.
Did he just imply that we are a couple?
I was too tempted to correct him but chose to not to kill whatever mood he was in. I had liked the idea of us being a couple but whether I would like that anymore need further thinking.
"And what we have been missing?
"Movie dates, dance, and dinner, He suggested quite unsure of himself.
I arched up my eyebrows, surprised. "Is that what couples do these days? I was beyond mortified at his suggestion. The great Swayam Shekhawat had zero knowledge when it comes to relationships and all. I bit my lower lip hard, resisting the urge to laugh at him. "I am pretty sure those can be arranged in our home.
Home!
Is really Shekhawat residence is my home or our home?
I hoped Swayam did not catch on my blunter. Embarrassment marred his face and he struggled to form a coherent sentence. "Hmm I mean, we can have candlelight dinner, we can have a romantic dance, movie, and you know a romantic cheesy clich walk on the beach.
I frowned at a not so pleasant memory. "I clearly remember last time we had one. It was still clear in my head, back in Delhi we had a walk in the beach that ended on a worse note than I anticipated. We had walked a long way since then.
"And that ended quite intense and steamy. He subtly winked at me and I thanked my stars when he turned to face the road again, not noticing the red hue coloring my cheeks.
***
The first stop of our small trip was at a mall. If I hate anything about mall then it would be people. They just stare at you without any reason, judging each person's each action and choice and that was why when we moved inside I latched myself on Swayam's arm. He threw me a look before looking ahead, walking beside me like he owned the universe. His confidence was always spot on, something I envied. I was not a socially awkward person but crowd terrified me. I always thought I would get lost in it and then I would never able to see Swayam again.
We walked side by side, not talking to each other. I could feel eyes on us, judging eyes, mostly wondering what a girl like me would be doing with a person like him. Suddenly feeling giddy, I looked down to see Swayam holding my palms tightly. Putting his fingers in the space between mine, he completed the puzzle. I blindly followed when he told that we were going to the mall to buy something for someone. I wanted to ask the name of the particular someone but realized that would be too clingy.
It was then I realized that particular someone was a woman when we entered a boutique exclusively for women. My stomach lurched in something I could not point out. It was still early for mall and shopping, so the boutique was mostly empty. I noted the time in the wall clock as 11:30 am.
Who is the woman? And why would he buy her something?
I wanted to scream but decided that I do not have any right to do so. Silently following him, I simply nodded every time he asked for my opinion about the evening gowns he picked out.
"How about this one? I was too engrossed in my mind, plotting ways to find out the mystery woman when he nudged me. "Sharon, do you think this will be fine for a success-party? He asked me while holding a cherry red, full-length evening gown. The gown was gorgeously stunning. I took a liking towards it the moment my eyes fell on them but I knew the dress was not affordable.
"Success party? It would be an understatement to say I was shocked. If Shekhawat industries were planning a success-party then why I was not informed.
Because you do not belong there,' the nasty voice inside my head spoke. Rolling my eyes at the voice, I shut her out. "Did you just roll your eyes at me? He asked dumbfounded.
"No, I did not. Whose success party Swayam?
"Mine or whose? He said as it was obvious. If he had noted the change in my mood, he chose to not to say anything about it and that irked me more.
"Ok,
"So what about the gown?
"It is fine,
"Just fine?
"Hmm stunning, I tried another adjective too lazy to give a heartfelt compliment.
"Exactly, Go and try this one.
"ME? I asked loudly, not hiding my shock.
"Do you see anyone else here? He returned my eye roll from before, and I could see him trying to hide a grin forming on his lips. I swear I saw his lips twitching.
I took a glance around the shop, the two girls were there before now gone leaving Swayam and me alone with the staff. She had told before that the other staffs were on a break as it was not a rush hour.
"I want to see whether it is fine or stunning. There was nothing romantic about what he said, but the look his eyes gave me goosebumps. "Go and try Sharon, we do not have the whole day to waste here.
I picked up the material and walked towards the near dressing room.
"Please call me if you need help, Swayam called back once I shut the door. As if I would need help and call him. No freaking way. Peeling off my comfortable clothes, I slid into the gown as slowly and cautiously as I could. I did not want to ruin the most beautiful gown I had ever seen. It only took a small glance at the mirror to fall in love. As I predicted the dress was beyond gorgeous.
There was zip in the back a little bit low. I had to bend backward to pull it up but as I worked, it stuck.
Wow, life!
I opened the door until a small slit formed and peeked outside. Swayam was relaxing on the couch going through his phone. A constant frown etched between his brows. He was reading something not so cool.
"Swayam, I called and he stood up from the couch as if it burned him, pocketing his phone he trotted towards me.
Did I sound that desperate?
"Do you need help, Sharon? The smirk was evident on his lips. Moments ago he was frowning, his frown changed to smirk in a matter of seconds.
"Where is the staff?
"She went out.
"Call her,
"Why?
"Because this stupid thing stuck,
"I can help you, A creepy grin formed on his lips, wriggling his eyelashes.
Is this really Swayam, how he became so flirty? Now he resembles the one I met in college. The flirty spoiled rich brat.
"No, I do not need your help. As I was going to shut the door, I saw the staff walking inside. I smiled triumphantly. "She is here,
"Ma'am, do you need assistance?
"Yes please,
She walked inside, leaving Swayam outside. He muttered something under his breath.
"Ma'am your husband is so handsome, the girl squealed once she closed the door behind herself.
"Husband, I chocked. "He is not my husband,
"What? That means he is single? The girl squealed again with a little more happiness.
Jealousy; I recognized the emotion clouded inside.
"No, he is in a relationship. I lied straight to her face with little remorse. Her big fat smile fell and I patted my shoulder. Take that girl; he is mine.
What the heck is happening to me?
Finally, the gown turned out stunning making Swayam buys it. I did not question him anymore about the person whom he brought it but a small voice in the back of my head kept nagging me. To add to my already dampened mood, he left me alone in front of a shop that sold watches and went inside. It took him fifteen minutes to return, again there was a bag in his hands containing a box, and I knew he had brought a watch too.
"What is that? I asked in a bored tone. I could not afford to let him know my interest in the box.
"A token of love,
I could only roll my eyes.
***
Vaguely humming along with the radio, Swayam drove to the outskirts of the city. I was so engrossed in my own land to heed the song. Perhaps I was upset over me for being obviously jealous. I did not have any right to be jealous when I did not want to be committed in any kind of relationship with him but my inside was burning, leaving ashes, inflammable enough to skin me alive. Back in Delhi, I had decided that I would not forgive him, or give him a chance, but when I came back here, I had to control the desire of my heart for not to fall for his charms. I was wrong there, he had made his own path to my heart a while ago, and the reality was he has never returned. I think my decisions were so pointless when I do not want anything more than Swayam. I still love him but trust.
He was downright content with how his day was developing and his excitement showed on his face with a content smile. He told that the next destination was a few hours away, and for the past one hour, he has been driving. Swayam skillfully avoided my question about the place we were going, giving a hint that we were meeting some people. I could not find why that would excite him.
That is what love for you; you will always find happiness in your partner's happiness and exactly that was what happens to me. Letting the exhilaration of my dream-come-true moment take over, I shoved everything behind the back of my mind except the person. The odd occurrence of non-awkward tranquility disturbed me as it was not normal to not to feel awkward around him. Throughout we did not speak, deciding the moment was beyond beautiful to break. It did not felt like bomb ticking; contradict how it used to be.
At regular intervals, he glanced at me and smiled to himself as if he was making sure of my presence. I tried to avoid the feeling of belongingness but it felt too endearing to ignore. Even I had taken a few glances of him and surprisingly he was casual. I wished I knew how his mind worked; I wanted to know his thoughts because my mind worked around him, and it would be awesome to find if he thought about me too. Unlike the other time, he was relaxed, his jaw unclenching, shoulders tension-free but still his posture was tight. The small smile on his lips was a huge giveaway that he was enjoying this as much as I was, though I showed nothing.
I wanted to express how his affection was creating a safe and secure feeling in me. I wanted to tell him that I reciprocate his feelings if he really does love me, and I wanted to scream at him for hurting me nevertheless a small tiny part forbade me from doing so the same part of my heart was not yet ready to be broken again.
The two times he confessed he was so caught up with his actions. Those two times were abrupt, an impulsive reaction and I would be an idiot to believe that.
"Favorite movie? He suddenly broke the silence, muting the radio.
"Err, Movie? I was so out of place, he was trying to make small talks and I was baffled. He did not even know my favorites and he tells me that he loves me. "Neena,
His reaction was unsurprising to me.
"Whose movie is that? I never heard of it.
"It is a Malayalam movie,
"When did you start watching other language movies?
"Since I went to Delhi? My reply came out as a question and I cringed at that.
"How do you...
I did not need him to complete to know what he was asking.
"Subtitles,
"Want to know why it is my favorite?
"Sure,
"The character Neena, she is someone you will fall in love with.
I watched in mirth when his jaw dropped.
***
After one more hour-long drive, we stopped in front of a two-story house. It was painted navy blue with some white paint at random places, giving a contrast effect.
"Swayam it is almost 2 pm and I am hungry, I complained when he climbed out of the car before running to my side.
"You will get food from there, He pointed towards the house after helping me out of the car. He had become a gentleman or just for one day.
Following him inside was my mistake, the view inside was churning. I felt vomit rushing to my throat. I saw a group of man and woman chatting away sitting around a table. There were nearly nine people. I almost emptied my stomach when I identified them, friends from college.
What did I do to face them again?
That was my first thought. They were not only Swayam's friends but they meant something to me too. They are those people who made my college life hell. Those people were hell behind me to make me feel worthless.
I turned my right to look at Swayam and surprisingly he was not smiling. He was not happy to see them again and I wondered why but he assured me that everything was going to be okay slowly closing his eyes. My reveries broke when each one of them walked up to me with a genuine guilty expression on their face. I was dumbfounded when they started apologizing to me for everything, some even told me that they were just having fun and it has nothing to do with Swayam. I always thought that Swayam was behind them and he told them to insult me but turned out I was wrong.
After a well-planned lunch and catching up, we left. It was awkward at first but I had outgrown to keep grudges' for that long. I was happy when I bided them goodbye leaving a thought in my mind.
What was Swayam thinking?
***
I was completely flummoxed when Swayam halted the car in-between nowhere. The road was secluded; there was a right turn, a muddy rocky path. Swiftly changing the gear, he turned the vehicle and drove through the barely visible path. He was driving with so much concentration that I was perplexed.
"Did we lose our way?
He ignored me.
"Swayam, are we lost?
Maybe it was the fear in my voice made him turn my way. Smiling softly he shook his head, "We did not, Sharon. Do not worry. I am here, right?
Weirdly that assured me my safety.
After a few minutes of roller coaster ride, he applied the break, sending us both to the dashboard with the impact. I took a deep breath when I recalled the meadow. The grass was lightly wet, water drops hung around the small leaves giving it a serene view. The light yellow and pink flowers made a mat on the grass. I could not look away.
"Looks like it just rained.
When I did not reply, he opened his side door to go out. I was speechless for two reasons, one: Swayam knew this place, two: I was coming here after three years. The meadow used to be the place where I let my emotions free, permitting me to be vulnerable. Swayam walked up to the front of the car, sitting on the bonnet he gestured me to join him.
We sat there in complete silence, busy in our own thoughts. We think a lot these days or at least I do.
"I saw you dance here, His husky low voice ran through me like ice-cold water and I visibly shuttered. The weather was a bit windy and cold but I did not shiver due to that. "It was four years ago when I was in the third year of my college and you in the first year.
"You are talking about past. I reminded him. He had promised a day without the horrible past.
He chuckled, lightly peeking at me. "This is not your past, Sharon, this is our past and we need to talk about this. There would never be a better place and day than this.
"Okay, I agreed.
He started speaking looking ahead of him, "I was almost seventeen when dad stopped contacting you, I used to follow him whenever he goes to meet you in your foster home but one day suddenly he stopped and I could not see you. I told you how dad was gone on my fifteenth birthday to meet you, to celebrate your fake birthday.
I gasped, "Fake birthday?
"Yeah, that day was not your birthday, he sighed, "and I do not know when it is, This time he looked at me with pain in his eyes. I gulped down the lump formed inside my throat. He faced away from me before I could ease his pain.
"Next year the same thing happened, dad broke the promise for another fake birthday. Then I did not know why was he doing that but now I know, he was giving you my happiness, maybe a share of it because you were precious than me. His voice lacked the bitterness I searched. "I confronted him about your identity. He was adamant not to give me an answer, I tried to locate you but I could not. He had put you somewhere safe, in your angel's heaven. I wanted to know who you were; I wanted to know what I lacked to be neglected but failed.
"You again saw me here?
"Exactly, around four years back. I was spell bounded by what I saw and irony was I did not know the girl who danced out of her heart was the same girl I used to loathe. His voice fell a few notches below. "I went crazy to meet you again; I did not know I was going to meet you the next day in Shekhawat industries.
For the first time, I saw him in the office when he has already seen me in almost all the odd places.
"I wanted to make you mine at any cost; I had a crush on you for months. In college I made situations to talk to you, to prank you because I wanted your attention. He stopped to look at me; completely facing me, he took my palms in his. "My dreams fell down when I realized who you exactly were. He made eye contact with me, his eyes shining with the one emotion I always wanted from him, love. "My abhorrence was fiercer than my affection, Sharon. That was his apology and that moment for everything I forgave him.
I needed nothing more to know why he did what he did.
***
"How does it feel?
Confused was my expression. We were back to our car heading to our last location. From the events of the day, I knew the last place and I did not look forward to what to come. "How does what feel?
He turned and made a brief eye contact with me. "Love, being in love, He muttered in his raspy voice. As soon as the words left his mouth, he turned and looked ahead as if nothing happened. Time ticked by, he continued to drive whereas my thoughts ran to a wide range, to those memories I cherished close to her heart.
I took my own time to gather my thoughts. "It feels as if you have the happiness of this entire universe in your hand. Giving you strength it evolves as your weakness and the person becomes the heaven where you want to reside your body and soul. I sighed dreamily speaking from my experience. His gaze gave me a soothing feeling despite him being the reason for my heartbreak. Before turning up the volume of the radio I spoke again, "It feels as if you finally found the reason behind your existence and when you lose it, you will have nothing to be alive.
I expected an abrupt reply from him but proving me wrong he took his time, "I found it, he commented and I ignored him for a few seconds.
"Great, be careful. I mocked, behind my mocking tone there was a warning for him as if I knew he was going to be crushed just like me.
***
We reached the place I loathe, FARMHOUSE.
"Do we really need to do this? I enquired before mimicking his action; we stood in front of the closed door.
"Yes, this is the only way to shut this book. I want this to be the last chapter of season one. He smirked, "Let's start a sequel, shall we?
In spite of the situation, I burst out laughing. He had a bad timing for worse jokes.
"I get it,
"What?
He put the key into the keyhole and opened the door, keeping it open he let me in first. I turned to face him; he stood a foot taller than me, towering over me providing protection. "You are rectifying your mistakes,
He smiled before cradling my face. "No, I am refurbishing your memories.
Never in my life had I felt that loved. He was spoiling me and I loved every moment of that. Even a kid who does not understand feelings could see his eyes brimming with adoration, there were tears in his eyes. "Swayam,
Leaving my face, he raked his fingers through his hair in almost aggression. "Don't say anything Sharon. I cannot live with this guilt anymore.
"It is okay,
"It is not bloody okay. His voice rose in an attempt to make me accept. "I did not have any rights to play with you but you know what I do not regret it.
"Why?
He moved us inside the living room, shutting the door. Raking one hand through my waist he pulled me against his body, "I would not be standing this close to you if I had not done that.
My jaw dropped feeling his soft warm lips on my forehead. We have had a few intense make-out sessions in the past but the feelings the forehead kiss evoked inside me was beyond appreciation. I was sent straight to the heaven.
As he told, he renovated my all-bad memories creating new. I have never been that happy in my life. I would have lost the best day of my life if I had not taken his offer. We cooked together, we played together and we ate dinner together. At the end of the day, exhausted, we crashed on the couch; I was too lazy to mind our closeness when I lay on the top of him.
"Swayam,
"Hmm,
"Dad knows who I am?
"He does,
***
I know I always end abruptly but there is a beauty to it, don't you agree? ;)
This part was different from what we have seen in this fiction but it was necessary. They needed a closure.
Wait for more, and I am really sorry for making you all wait this long...Not going to give any excuses as I myself hate them.
We are heading to an end. :(
Keechu. :*
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