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"You are a weakling Zara. You always were."
The sound reverberates into my mind as the rising fumes fill my lungs. Without a conscious thought , a choice, my body does what any to survive. RUN. I attempted to run... Attempted because every moment was costing more energy than it should, like someone just turned gravity way up.
"It's all your fault Zaara. People are dying because of you."
"Because of your one selfish decision the community has been divided into two parts. Leading to riots , violence and bloodshed among them."
Guilt churns in my stomach as I heard a lady crying holding her child in her embrace amidst dead bodies lying around her. Fear clouds my mind like mist due to the ferocity of her crying.
I don't know what I have done but it must be too bad. The screms and hysterical cries were echoing in the surroundings. Every sound was set to the frequency that was shattering my heart into million pieces. I run away from the voices but they get louder with every stride.
I frantically looked around for help. Just then I found myself running behind a truck, my lungs out of oxygen. My muscles relaxed and a feeling of being protected and safe swept over me as Kabir came into my sight. He smiled reassuringly and extended his hand towards me. Adrenaline rushed into my veins with a velocity more than speed of light and I tried to run even more faster. I could still hear the footsteps behind me although I didn't dared to look back but my instincts were screaming that they are coming for me.
"Zaara hold my hand" Kabir told me. It was nothing more than a whisper, I am surprised I heard it even being at a considerable distance from him.
It was almost impossible to hold him from that distance but I still obeyed him. In a blink of second, I was in the truck.
"ZAARA... Can you hear me... ZAARA"
I woke up from my nightmare as Kabir tapped my cheek. My body was sweaty and cheeks were red out of utter embarrassment. I can't believe this. I dozed off in his car.
"You ok?? Why are you perspiring?" he asked offering me his handkerchief. Such a gentleman he is.(Kindly note the sarcasm).
"ohh.. Nothing just a bad thought" I wiped my face grabbing the hanky he offered.
"About what?" he asked non chalantly.
"You... About you obviously" I internally rolled my eyes.
I can't say he was pleased by my reply but that's how I am.
"Zaara this the last option we have. We'll go inside and tell Peer Sahab that we don't want to marry each other.ok" he told me.
He opened the gate for me.(Again a gentlemanly gesture).
I didn't even flinched. He grabbed my wrist and literally dragged me with him. I could feel the resistance of my body in following what both of us decided.
I freezed at my place. Kabir too stopped and turned to face me.
"What's wrong Zaara?" he seemed irritated.
what's wrong??? The question reverberated in my mind And now the words came back to me to play again.
"You're a failure Zaara. You let your father down. It's all your fault"
I stood there for what felt like eternity, rigid, statue like. My vision blurred due to tears.
"I am ready to marry you" I heard my own voice.
He didn't seemed to be surprised like he already saw it coming.
"Sorry... Was it you who spoke Ms Zaara Siddhiqui" he neared me.
"Yes.." I harshly pulled my hand out of his grip like a bratty child blinking away the tears.
"Allah ne sabko apni marzi se nikah karne ka haq diya hai... What about that?" he asked mimicking me.
"Beshak Allah ne sabko ye haq diya hai. Magar ek beti hone ke naate hamare hamari kaum aur hamare Abba ki taraf kuch farz bhi bante hai. Aur humne hamesha Farz ko hamare haq se pehle rakhna seekha hai. Aur us farz ki khatir hum ye nikah zaroor karenge" I voiced my decision with determination.
I walked away before letting Kabir reply.
KABIR'S POV
"Mubarak ho Kabir bete. I knew this Nikah will happen from the moment you left the decision on Zaara." I felt Abbu's hand on my shoulder.
"Zaara is just like her Abba" he seemed amused, enjoying the torture we two were going through. But I couldn't decipher the meaning of his words.
"Matlab" I asked.
"Matlab she's too weak to take a firm decision, too scared to take a big step all by herself... just like Qazi Irfan Siddhiqui"
"I might not know Qazi sahab that much but as far as I understand Zaara she's anything but weak. You're wrong Abbu Zaara isn't weak... Not at all" I heard myself. It felt a bit awkward to defend Zaara but not wrong...
I involuntarily walked away from him although I could hear him calling him my name. Abbu is wrong this time. At least to me. I don't know what he mean when he says the word "Strong" but for me "strong" isn't a synonym for "fearless". For me being "Strong" means acknowledging the fear without any soft filter and still making the right choice; considering the self at lowest priority...JUST LIKE ZAARA.
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