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I wanted you to love me...The way I love you
This is one line, I feel, which sums up her love for him. When did Gauri actually fall in love? When did she realise that she was in love? What is love for her?
Gauri Kumari Ssarma is a very strong character. The dabangg chirayya who can never take anyone pointing fingers at her vishwas. The girl who bulldozed her way into the Omkara Singh Oberoi's life. What made her love the person who hated her the most? What made her love the man who did not care about her? What made her love her husband who did not consider her his wife?
It was the time when she was running away from the monster in her life, she bumped into him again. All her life, she was a victim of her fate. She was orphaned, she was adopted and her struggle did not end even then. She had to stop her studies to take care of her ill mother. She had to tackle her chacha chachi every single day. She had to work to lead a proper life, she had to earn a living. On top of all, she had to face the monster named Kaali Thakur in her life. But nothing could tamper her courage. Nothing.
Tum jo kar rahi ho, usse saaf saaf nazar aa raha hai ki tum kitna ghatiya aur giri hui insaan ho
He said blinded by his past, and that was the moment when something in her broke. His words broke her more than anything. She hated being judged and she couldn't help but feel sad about the opinion he had on her. She hated being judged for her actions and that is what she did not do. Inspite of his words, she understood that he was affected by something in his past. Inspite of his hatred, she was able to see that he was not what he portrayed himself to be. And when he did not think twice to marry her just to save her, she knew, she knew deep down that he was a man with good heart but with a disturbed past. Apart from considering him a blessing from God himself, she started developing a soft corner for him. For her, faith is a part of her. She had enough faith on God for both of them to sustain. She did not want to force herself on him. Because she believed, if it is meant to be, it would be.
ChulKara was the base for their relation. She got to know him in person. When she got to know that he was going to marry someone else, she couldn't help but feel bad. Feel broken at her fate but never did she blame him. And when she started knowing him in person, she saw his true self. The kind hearted man, the man who can go to any extent to protect the ones he loved, the man who would respect everyone, the man who is pure by heart and also the vulnerable side of him which he hides under the mask. Somewhere in the middle of getting to know him and helping him, she started falling for him.
Hum jaanthe hai Omkaraji, hum samajthe bhi hai aapko
She said when he confessed in bareilly that he loved her. What did she mean by that? How well did she understand him? That statement had much more depth than what it seemed. The point is she was the only girl who understood him like no other. Even before knowing who he was, she was the one who understood that he had a troubled past. Though she did not know his past, she knew him enough to make out that he was scared of commitment. She was the witness of how much Jhanvi suffered because of Tej and how much Om suffered because of his parents' relation. May be this was one of the reasons why she never expected anything from him. Every time he misunderstood her, she put herself in his shoes and understood him. She understood his reasons.
Gauri Kumari Ssarma itni matlabi nahi hai, itni lalchi nahi hai, kabhi nahi samjhenge aap, kabhi nahi.
She said to herself when he accused that he knows her real face and that is when I fell for her more. She had all the reasons to hate him but she just couldn't. She couldn't hate him knowing what he actually is. She couldn't hate him because she could see his concern for her even through his hate.
"Aap jaanthe kya hai hamare baare mein? she asked. Not once but many times. But she never did tell him what actually happened. Why? Was it ego which was stopping her? Or was it the fact that he wouldn't understand her even if she tells him? I believe, neither. Every time he misunderstood her actions, she broke a bit. But all she wanted was for him to understand her without judging, understand her without having to explain her actions, understand her for who she is. That was all she wanted and nothing else. She wanted him to know that she meant no harm but she did not want him to realise that after knowing her past. She wanted him to know her for what she is. She wanted him to know that she is the same girl whom he met in Bareilly.
Amidst all these, when did she actually fall in love? May be when she got to know his real self. May be when she got to know how gem of a person he is. She might consider him pati parameshwar, but every time she thought him as parameshwar, she didn't know that it was her way of showing love. What made her stay even when she was asked to leave every time? Was it that she longed for him? Or was it that she longed for a family? Obviously, neither. It was her love which made her compromise on her values to save him, to stick by his side even when she was asked to leave. Once her job is done, it was her love for him which made her leave just because his happiness lied in that. She did love him when she got to know that a gem of a person lay beneath the mask he wore. She loved him all along.
She loved with no strings attached. No expectations. No hopes. Because she knew, once he comes to know her real self, she will get her husband back. His happiness meant a lot to her and she was willing to do anything for it. That was when he misunderstood her again and that was when she lost her patience. After all the time they spent together, she couldn't help but feel broken that she was judged again. And that happened when she did not even know what she was being accused of. All she wanted was for him to understand her but when he was not even willing to try, she couldn't help but leave. She knew she would love him all his life. For her, love did not mean being together. Neither she is "I can't live without you type. Though she has extreme faith in God and comes from a village background, she is practical enough to know that relation wouldn't work that way.
Love for her is respect, love for her is the happiness of the better half, love for her is selflessness, more than anything love for her is loving a man for who he is. In a world where people in a relation give in to the other person's wishes, Gauri Kumari Ssarma comes, breaking all the stereotypes. She is not the damsel in distress, nor she needs anyone to take care of her. She is a phoenix, the one who rises every time she falls. The one who can take a stand against her own husband. The one who is the hero of her own life. It is true that her Shankar ji was the one who brought Om into her life. But if she is happy today, it is because of her never-ending patience, resilience. It is because she finally made Om see the real her. She wanted him to love her the way she loved him and finally, he couldn't help but love her, love her for who she is. She got her husband back, the person who she saw behind his faade months ago.
Well, that is Gauri Kumari Sharma, paanchvi pass from Bareilly. The one who doesn't give in, the one who is practical enough, the one who can face absolutely everything that is thrown on her way, the one who knows what to do when, the one who knows where to speak what, the one who doesn't hesitate to lie when needed, the one who can take a stand for herself and above all, the one who writes her own destiny and the hero of her own life. She does have vishwas on Shankar ji, but every time she faces something, she doesn't realise that it is not just the vishwas which makes her go on, but the courage as well, which comes from within and which has also become a part of her from her childhood.
Every time her fate challenged her, she failed to realise that she was the writer of her own destiny.
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