A/N: I wanted to write a fluff piece on their hug but what happened was just this rather abstract short. I am not original with the dialogues. Just copied the canon so don't throw your chappals at me. I have been defending Zubiya's stance on the attempted suicide at the ridge and I hope this clarifies my perspective.
Credit: Thank you SanFranGirl for your creative input. You rock!
Disclaimer: I hereby solemnly declare that I do not own "Yakeen Ka Safar" or any of its characters. They belong to Hum TV in lieu of the author "Farhat Ishtiaq."
"Drowning"
Have you ever stood at the precipice of existence? At the edge of reason. Stuck between fear and doubt. To feel so much and be numb at the same time.
That is how Zubiya felt.
Found by her brother and lost by her own self. How would she face the people when they find out the whole truth about her? Her shameful past. How would she live with herself, losing the respect of the one man, whose opinion mattered the most to her? To lose the life that she had worked so hard to build. She felt: Isolated, unwanted, condemned, ashamed, displaced, hurt, distressed, but most of all afraid. The emotions crashing, a rush of blood to her head. Not unlike the stream of water rushing, running, unstoppable, right beneath her. She felt so much that she disconnected. She wanted to feel nothing.
"Zubiya." She heard his voice but her own name felt foreign to her.
Passive and unresponsive. She knew what she had to do.
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Have you ever felt like you were drowning? The icy cold water grating you into nothingness. To watch someone close to your heart collide into the abyss of azure liquid, feels like that. Words hurt. "Infatuation. "Attraction. But what hurts even more are the ones she never disclosed. He felt a sick wave of terror and complete lack of coherence wash over him. She took his rudeness and stern behavior all in her stride. She was unbreakable to him. To see her dupatta splayed across the tree branch like that made his heart sink.
That is how Asfandyar felt.
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He looked at the empty seat, she once sat on not long ago and realized, his heart will feel just as empty without her. He realized he was not brave like "Zubiya Khalil." He couldn't bear losing another person he loved and still continue the charade of life. Yes, it was a charade. You can't call it living when all you do is work. Never really having someone special to call your own. To exchange little things. To love and have it be reciprocated. At least he had his family for moral support. She had no one. And still she soldiered on and spread happiness among people around her. He couldn't help but be proud of her. How courageous was this girl. To have gone through so much hatred and abandonment and still stay positive. Sharing only the good with people never her bad. His heart ached with the love he felt for her.
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The distinct sound of the heart monitor beeped at regular intervals as she came to. He was standing at the foot of her bed reading her patient file. She angled to support herself with her injured elbows and tried to sit up. When he noticed her eyes on him, the look of complete anguish overcame his features as he twisted as if pained to see her in this state. He grabbed the hospital bed table for support because his knees were caving in.
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Have you ever felt like you were drowning? Like the water was enveloping you, as it fastens its grip. Your body gets thrown, beaten, and overwhelmed by the brute force of water but you are in total sensory deprivation. Like you were dissolving, breaking, suffocating but your instincts make you struggle to breathe.
That is how Zubiya felt.
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"Relax."
He rushed to her side but couldn't even look her in the eye. Like if he made eye contact his resolve will dissipate. Like he didn't want her to know how much her actions hurt him. How much his heart breaks to know what she's been through. How little it made him feel to be the member of a society that still marks a mistake made in adolescence by a female, as a major crime. So much so that her whole life is lived in the shadows of that one mistake. One.
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Have you ever felt like you were drowning? As the water laps up your form, you feel so helpless and restrained. The breaths becoming shorter and shorter. As you fight a hopeless fight with the unforgiving harrows of the bustling stream. Letting the flow take you with it, like some useless driftwood.
That is how Zubiya felt.
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"I am sorry."
"Bas."
"Maine aap se apne bare mai bohat jhoot bola."
"Bas itna hi trust tha mujh par? Ke tum sab sach sach bolo gi aur mai tumhe chhor donga? Kuch tu bharosa karteen mujh par."
"Mai aap ke qabil nahi hon."
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Have you ever felt like you were drowning? Being swallowed by the inescapable realities of life. Being tormented by seeing someone you love, give up on you. Not give you a chance because they felt they couldn't depend on you. And all you feel is their pain coursing through your own veins. Pricking sorrows. Shaking you to the core.
That is how Asfandyar felt.
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"Bas please! Mai tumhare bare mai sab kuch janta hon. Aur mujhe koi faraq nahi parta hai. Tum jaisi ho, tumhare saath jo kuch bhi howa hai. Mujhe koi faraq nahi parta hai. Haan! Tum se shikayat hai. Thora naraz hon. Aur tum se bohat pyaar karta hon. Aur apni zindagi tumhare saath guzarna chahta hon. Tu phir aisa kyon kiya?"
"Himmat nahi thi. Kuch karne ki himmat nahi thi. Darti thi."
"Kis baat se?"
Instead of responding she bowed her head as tears continued to stream down her face. Still hesitant and ashamed to voice her thoughts. How much he mattered to her. How much she cared. How much his respect meant to her. And how afraid she was of losing that.
"Mai hon tumhre saath." He assured.
One look at her and he could tell that she felt the same way.
He reaches over tentatively and hugs her softly, like she was made of glass. Too fragile and precious. She would break. The desperate grasp of her slender fingers on his upper back makes him move in and match the intensity of the embrace with all the love he felt. They sat on the hospital bed, entwined into each other. Silently confessing their ardent feelings for one another. As the heat of their bodies and the beats of their hearts amalgamated as one.
Asfandyar had found his anchor in Zubiya as she had found in him. In that moment, they knew, they would never let the other drown again.
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