Bhoth bhoth sorry from me to all you wonderful people...real life had caught up with me forcing em to abandon this and pay attention to it.
So here is the next and last part...this definitely could have been better but its the best I could do...especially since I hadn't even planned on writing this next part.
Wanted to post this before the last episode airs as I know I am not going to be able to do anything that.
So, here's hoping you this has lived up to your expectation...if it hasnt then sorry
Had her phone not beeped signaling the end of her break, Zubiya didn't know how long she would have sat in the break room.
Somehow, she was able to get up and attend to her duties...ironically in a clinical manner...almost robotic.
Any minute she got to herself, all she could think of was getting to him. But she couldn't...there had been a sudden upsurge of patients that evening.
With a lot of difficulty, she completed her shift and was relieved when she was finally done for the day.
Grabbing her bag, she had hurried to his cabin only to find it empty.
It was now almost eleven pm and Zubiya had just searched the hospital for him...no sign of him.
She had called Gaiti, and through an indirect conversation, had come to know that he wasn't at home either.
None of her colleagues had seen him...she knew that if she wanted she could give him a call but she didn't want to do that.
She didn't want to approach him like that ...not through a telephonic conversation where they couldn't see each other.
She wanted to approach him like this...with all her emotions laid bare on her face.
No more pretenses.
But where could she find him?
Stepping out of the hospital, she stood for a few seconds letting the cool night air wrap around her and closed her eyes.
She didn't want to go to her mess...not without seeing him first. She couldn't even think of waiting till tomorrow. A compelling urge to see him was running within her and she knew going back to the mess would just leave her restless for the whole night.
Deciding to take a walk and maybe clear her head, she turned in the opposite direction.
Of their own accord. her feet carried her off in a random direction.
All the while she walked, her mind unaware of where he was going, she kept thinking of each and every moment that had been spent with him.
From the first time he had met her...with his stony behavior and cold gaze clearly telling her how unfit she was to be here... to their encounter a few hours ago where his eyes had been so heated and she had literally stumbled under the weight of his passion for her.
What a journey this has been...
Her chest felt heavy with sorrow as she realized that she could have allowed herself to trust him and shared everything with him...she knew now he would have never judged her.
She could feel the sobs rising in her chest but she clamped them down.
Never had she felt so desperate for someone...
Asfandyar wasn't just some man she had fallen in love with...at this point in her life, he was everything to her.
Her shade.
Her protective roof.
He was her home.
There was so much that she wanted to tell him...all those feelings that she had always suppressed within her thinking that he would never love her.
Her eyes filled up...now when she was ready to confess, he wasn't there.
Brushing a stray tear from the corner of her eye, she kept on walking.
In her trance, she didn't realize she had wandered off a bit farther than she had intended.
It was only when she tripped over a small rock that she stopped to see where her feet had carried her. Glancing towards her left, she found herself looking at the spot where she usually took her classes for the poor children.
Even this place was tinged with his memory...how odd that she unknowingly came to this place...where through a simply question from him, she had discovered his feelings for her.
Her gaze glided slowly towards the spot where he had stopped his car that day...and there she found him!
His hands in his pockets, his eyes trained forward, a solemn look on his face...there he stood against his car which was parked at the same spot.
The same place he had made her accept the fact that she was jealous of the attention he gave to any other woman except her...hidden feelings which she had tried so hard to hide but he had somehow managed to uncover them.
Without realizing it, her feet started to move in his direction , their pace hurried and desperate ,her breaths coming in tiny gasps...she couldn't believe that he was there. Right there in front of her!
As she approached him, she could feel her doubts rising once again.
What if he had changed his mind... what if he had decided that she carried too much baggage from her past...and he didn't want that in his life?
"Tumhari aisi koi baat nahi hai jo mujhe tumse door le ja sakti hai.
His voice rang in her ears along with the conviction in his voice and she knew that she was wrong.
No, she wouldn't entertain any more doubts.
With more confident steps, she walked ahead, finally she reaching him and stopped in front of him. His gaze widened slightly at her sudden appearance before him and his lips parted slightly in concern.
"Zubiya?"
She tried to speak but her brisk walking had made her throat dry.
He looked in the direction she had come from. "You came walking all the way here...alone?"
In any situation, his first priority was always her concern.
And she had hurt this man?
What was, for the first time, she looked at him with no masks in her eyes...every emotion within her laid out in front of him...exposed and bare.
Maybe he would see just how much he meant to her...she knew he could read her like an open book...he always had.
She felt it wasn't enough though...she had to say something.
But for some reason her mind had gone blank.
So many things to tell him yet not a single word came to her lips...she wanted to assure him that she loved him too, that the only thing that mattered in her life was him...that she hadn't meant a word of her lies that day. He wasn't just someone she loved...he was a part of her soul.
She hoped he could see... could feel...could read everything she was wanted to tell him but was unable to.
She closed her eyes and tried to gather her scattered thoughts and form them into sentences but she couldn't...what could she say? Were a few mere words enough to express just how much he meant to her?
Her lips parted to speak but she couldn't utter a single word... only a soft whimper broke through. Her eyes opened and gazed at him once again...he was quietly looking back at her with a small frown.
She knew he was giving her own time and space but she didn't need it.
But, she didn't need more time.
She didn't need any space...all she wanted to be consumed by him.
But, try as she might, she just couldn't say anything...
The night her Bhabi had thrown her out, she had sworn never to cry again...never to let her emotions get the best of her.
Since that night, she had kept a tight rein on her emotions. Never letting them be visible to anyone, never letting them control her.
But, now it seemed like that rein had broken loose and every emotion was playing havoc within her ...the sheer strain of it had rendered her speechless.
Each second that passed made her fear that he might mistake her silence for something else.
Her inability to speak caused a few tears to escape her eyes and then she couldn't take it anymore.
Stepping forward, her heart almost in her throat, she touched her forehead to his chest.
And then she waited...waited to see what he would do.
Only after a few seconds, which seemed much longer than they actually were, his arms closed around her, so unquestionably...
Firm yet gentle.
As a sense of relief washed over her...her tears flowed silently...her hands rose slowly and her fingers fisted in his shirt...no one had ever held her like he did... like she mattered. Like her existence mattered... like she was important to him...which she knew now that she was.
A strangled sob escaped from her throat and she buried her face even deeper in his chest.
His strong arms around her, his scent overpowering her senses, his mere presence...it all seemed like an illusion but the beats of his heart thudding in a soothing rhythm her ears told her this was real...nothing in her life had ever felt so real.
She realized she was shaking and he probably did too which is why he tightened his embrace, letting her draw strength from him, blanketing her from the cold.
"I...I'm sorry", she heard him whisper.
Sorry?
He was sorry?, she frowned.
Not moving her head away from his chest, she asked, "What?"
Her question came out in a slightly hoarse whisper as she finally found her voice.
Resting her cheek on the top of her head, he answered, "For scolding you that day...when I dropped you home", she knew he was talking about the day he had saved her from what would have been the biggest tragedy of her life.
"If I hadn't been so harsh and cold with you, maybe you would have not hesitated to share everything with me ...rather than hiding your feelings under a mask and trying to cut yourself away from me."
He took a small yet deep breath. "I don't think I have been a good example of an ideal companion, Zubiya."
His tone was so apologetic that she couldn't help but hug him back fiercely...as if she could push her thoughts into him...that he was wrong, so very wrong.
A sudden wave of affection ran through her and she felt like she was falling in love with him all over again...even more harder than before.
Her own father and brother had left no opportunity to blame her for everything they could ...and here this man was trying to take the brunt of her mistakes on his shoulders...always protecting her.
What had she done to deserve him?
By now, her breath had begun to ease and the tightness in her chest had lessened.
Still remaining in the same position, she finally spoke, "My mistakes are my own...you have no share in them. "
A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "How can you even apologize...and for what? For saving me from drowning all those years ago...and you have done that again every day since I met you. "
She paused collecting her thoughts...she supposed she should move back for what she wanted to say but didn't want to leave his embrace for anything.
"I'm sorry..." , her eyes closed as she remembered her own harshness with him, "for hurting your feelings."
She could feel him shake his head. "No, you don't have...", he started.
"No", she said firmly...finally moving back and levelling her gaze with his, "Let me say this...you have to know that I didn't mean a word of what I said that day. You..., her voice caught in her throat, "You are the only anchor in the storm that has been my life...the way you have supported me, the way you have held my hand through everything this last year...the way you have slowly tied each aspect of my life with yours..."
"No man", she shook her head, her eyes wide, "no man has ever done that for me."
Now, she had to look away as her eyes became damp once again and her voice broke slightly, "And yet I still hurt you...I...", she couldn't complete her sentence as she was pulled into his embrace once again.
"Bas", he asserted, "You are never going to apologize for anything in your life ever again. Whatever happened with you...none of it was your fault, you understand? None of it."
His words settled somewhere deep in her heart. It had been so difficult to forgive herself...but she had. Yet hearing this from him made her heart even lighter.
"You need to know... a few more things..."
"No, I don't... not today. I already know what I needed to now. Everything else can wait. Maybe, some other day...some other time I will listen to whatever you have to say. But, for now, let the past and whatever is in it, be...I have assured you before and I am telling you again, nothing you say can or will take me away from you."
His trusting words acted like a balm to her soul.
She didn't know how long they stood like that just absorbing each other's presence.
The night had darkened and the temperature had dropped to a slight chill.
She realized that it must be quite late...and it was only then she realized just how close they were right now...every inch of her body was aligned with his , his hands were holding her back and waist, his soft breaths falling softly on her neck.
Somewhere during the course of pulling her closer to himself, he had lifted her slightly and now her feet rested over his.
She could feel her skin igniting with awareness once again.
This time her shiver had nothing to do with her grief or the coldness around them. She stiffened at her own audacity.
She stepped back, her hands unwillingly leaving his shirt and looked at his face.
A deep blush bloomed on her cheeks as she found a knowing smile curved at the corner of his lips...as if he knew why she had moved away from him. Internally, she told herself to get used to it now...her face was always going to be as red as a tomato if he kept smiling like that around her.
Suddenly, remembering something, she tried to school her features in a serious face, "By the way...you do realize...that you are going to have to suspend yourself?"
He frowned and she had to stifle her laugh. That must have been the last thing he expected to hear right now.
"Why? "
"Well...let me refresh your memory. You fired a nurse and a ward boy a few months back for inappropriate behavior in the hospital. Ironically, you are guilty of the same thing today...", she spoke with as much sternness as she could.
As soon as he understood what she meant, instead of looking sheepish about it like she expected, a smirk bloomed on his lips. He looked so handsome in that moment that Zubiya lost her train of thought for a few seconds.
When he didn't say anything, she continued to speak but her voice had taken a shy note as she recollected all the things he had whispered to her and the way he had whispered them. "And that too...in the break room...when anyone could have walked in...
Not able to meet his eyes any longer, she glanced away from him. She could still feel...with stark clarity...every sensation he had invoked within her when he had held her against the wall...his touch , his hold on her wrists, his voice, his...boldness.
She had been so consumed by his presence that it didn't occur to her too that anyone could have walked in at that moment.
That would have been truly mortifying.
"By the way...I did lock the door...you just didn't know it."
Somehow that made her face heat up even more.
What would have happened if he hadn't stopped?
"You're right. though", his voice broke her out of her thoughts and her eyes widened slightly as he stepped closer to her. He gazed at her with a serious look but she could see the mischief swimming in his eyes.
"I should be suspended...but who's going to suspend the boss?"
"Taking advantage of your position then?" she asked with one eyebrow raised.
His smirk widened even more making her insides flutter.
"Hardly! If I had to take advantage of my position, then I would call you to my cabin on the pretext of discussing something with you. And then... " , he trailed off meaningfully, the resulting heat on her face causing his eyes dance with mirth.
Clearing her throat, she spoke with a slight tremor, "Yes, well...it was unfair what you did to those poor workers. And that too for breaking rules that you also don't follow..."
He pursed his lips and uttered a small "hmm.
Bending slightly towards her, he asked her, "I don't believe I broke the rule that they did...do you even know why I fired them?"
She had only hears snippets of that story from her colleagues. All she knew was that they had been caught red-handed. She hadn't bothered with the details as her own fear of being fired had taken over her mind.
Zubiya had assumed they had probably been flirting with each other and ignoring their duties.
"Why?" , she asked curiously.
"Well " , he whispered near her ear, his soft baritone had once again taken that rough quality that made her heart race, "Let's just say that if we ever broke that particular rule, it would definitely not be in a hospital. "
Now her eyes widened as fully understood what he meant. She felt so horribly embarrassed that she had to turn away from him as he chuckled softly at her.
The embarrassment tuned into shyness as she felt herself being pulled sideways into his arms.
"That crimson shade looks quite good on you, did you know?" , his low voice was tinged with amusement and laden with something that she was too shy to name.
She tried to step away from him but he just held on even tighter.
"I... " , she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, "I think we should go now..."
He rested his forehead on the top of her head.
"I don't think so..."
"It's late..."
"So?"
"So...you need to be early for your suspension tomorrow by Dr. Shehroze."
He laughed. "Believe me...he will be the happiest when he hears my rule-breaking story."
A smile had started to tug at the corner of her lips when something occurred to her.
"Why did you come here? You were supposed to be at the hospital... I searched everywhere for you but...why this place?"
He turned her towards him once again, his gaze boring into hers. "Because I was too restless to go home. I wanted to see you again but I didn't know whether you would welcome my presence or not. I wanted to give you space...and time.
I thought a long drive would clear my head but I ended up coming here. This is a very special place after all...the memory of that beautiful morning strengthened my belief that whatever I had seen in your eyes hadn't been a lie. "
She looked at him with such devotion that it reflected as deep contentment in his eyes.
"You presence can never be unwanted for me...Asfand."
It was the first time she had taken his name and she had done with such softness and respect in her tone that he couldn't help but kiss her temple.
No more assurances or explanations were given after that...no more were needed. They understood each other on a level that would never stop to amaze.
She asked him once again to drop her back home and this time he didn't refuse.
As they drove away into the night, Zubiya knew she had stepped into the next and the most beautiful chapter of her life.
~~~~~
Please excuse me for any errors...1 hour and 15 minutes to go for the last episode and I just cant focus.
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