@SanFranGirl @CheesyBites @Fanraya @AnayaZ
You ladies are so sweet! thank you so much for appreciating, it really does mean a lot to me. I had a approach in mind when i was starting this to describe ASFI & his many UNSPOKEN THOUGHTS in my words & world in which he is in charge and is a bit assertive with his love ( how i like my hero's btw), i am so glad you ladies are loving it!xx
CHAPTER 9
I could clearly hear a small sob from within her, my head still resting on her nape, taking in her scent, of some damn flower that I could not figure out in the name of god, which was it!! I could feel her tension, her hands were rigid now, as if silently praying and holding onto an unsaid promise, all I could do was stand there with my head bent down, in submission! I wanted her to see her effect on her, make her see how broken I would be if she was not in my life, if she left me. All these thoughts were still going on in my head when she started struggling out of my hold, wiggling out or trying too, her level best, I pulled her back, her hands now resting on my chest and on my shoulder and in that moment, my hand went up to hold the side of her face now, her face fitting in my palm like it was made for it. I held her face with a steady gaze & said 'I love you, don't you get that!!'
She was holding me with her constant perplexed gaze, big eyes speaking volumes telling me she did, her hands trembling now as if she read my thoughts, having said what I just did, I brought down my head again this time aiming for her lips, her breathing quickened, her hold on me tightened, she took in a deep breath, I stopped near her lips and just lingered for a second and said 'see' wanting her to see how perfect we were together, having said that I kissed her, with all the love and fervor in me.
Our first ever, kiss was everything I ever imagined, she was supple and soft like I imagined, she tasted as sweet or even more as I imagined, I was nibbling on her top lip when she let out a soft moan which made me attentive to the lower one, where I nibbled next, all the while my tongue just tasting her lips, I could feel she was as aroused and connected as I was in this moment. Suddenly I felt her hand creeping up around my neck, the other guiding its way around my face, she closed her eyes, as if for the last time, she opened her mouth a little bit and leaned in, as if giving me full consent. That was all the encouragement I needed as both my hands went around her waist and held her tight, my head now fully bent and tasting her lips, my tongue tasting this beautiful creature in my arms. She opened her mouth a bit more and my tongue swept in, our tongues met and it was like fireworks, we both just held on and kept changing the pace of this moment as we went along, I KNEW IT! I knew she loved me, I was all in for everything & anything, she was slowing down though and her breathing was getting back to normal so was mine, my tongue still tasting the sweetness of hers, I was still holding her tight but she started distancing herself away, I was so breathless that I let her.
What came next had me more confused than my Medical Exams, she kept her hands on my chest while we both were trying to compose ourselves and our breathing, trying to return back to normal, and said 'Its Lilies... and I AM SORRY'. She turned away and left, left me standing there disoriented and lost. What just happened??!! I wanted to go after her, I turned and bent down, my hands stabilizing me on the desk, my eyes almost moist with unshed tears, I had just seen my life walking out of this cabin and my body, my soul shattered into million pieces, just then the nurse came into my office and announced about an emergency, without looking at her or turning I said 'ok'.
I walked out remembering her words and her feel next to mine, still disoriented, as if walking in a haze, I walked right upto the general ward when it dawned on me I have an emergency case to attend too, I turned around and started walking towards the Emergency ward. All the while thinking I have to talk to her today no matter what but for now I had to become a robot and let my habit & practice take over, for lives were stake. When I reached the Emergency ward I saw a familiar face and Zobia trying her level best to control the situation at hand. The patient was none other than Khajista, the young girl Zobia had grown to care & love over the past few months, she was a regular face whom I used to see with zobia. I tried my level best to assess the situation. She had been shot and by none other than her own husband, the worst part she was pregnant. This situation went from bad to THE WORST very quickly. I was glancing at zobia the whole time, wanting to see how she was doing, I knew for a fact Zobia thought of Khajista as her younger sister, the two ladies were close. So, this would be effecting her a lot. I hope she stays strong like always.
When we got out of the room, Dr. Shehroz and Dr. Asfiya were already making plans for the operation and Dr. Haroon had already alerted the police. Zobia & I joined in the discussions and we made a POA for operation and the possibility of maybe choosing one over the other, we alerted the family of the same, all giving consent to save the primary patient (khajista) if things go south during the operation. I looked at Zobia when everybody went ahead to get ready, she was stone cold, she looked up and told me 'YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER, I CANNOT LOSE HER TOO'. With that she turned & left, went and stood next to the kin, as we all had decided earlier that Zobia is too involved with this case and its best if she sits this one out.
During the operation, we all sadly & unfortunately could not save the child but we saved Khajista, she was still critical though. I went out first and looked for zobia, she was nowhere to be seen, I informed everybody of the current state and about the loss of the unborn child, it was a girl. Everybody was trying their best to be brave but the mother broke down and kept on cursing Bahadur. Khajista was shifted to the ICU, I wanted to inform all this to Zobia but I cldnt find her. I thought she would be praying so I went ahead and sat down in the Doctor's lounge thinking she would come here afterwards for sure yet everybody else came but not her.
A few hours went by and I got tired of sitting there, of the wondering eyes of the staff & fellow doctors, it was almost night time, I got up and went towards the nurse's station to enquire about Zobia, they all thought or rather were sure she left hours back, but I knew in my bones she was still here, I could feel her presence.
I started going through every ward & room, got a nurse to check the ladies' prayer room also, no luck. I was getting worried now, I called her phone multiple time but it was off. I kept thinking of our last meeting, the times we spent together, our time spent today and what she said in the end before she left my cabin. 'It's Lilies... and I AM SORRY', what was lilies, I kept thinking now, running around frantically in the hospital looking for her and why was she sorry. She has to answer me, I need to know, why was she being so cryptic. Why would she mention, lilies- the second I thought about it again, I went back to the day of Sayim's birthday and I remember how I had told her I loved her scent, how in that moment of ours in cabin today I was still thinking of asking her what scent it was, it's as if she read my mind and knew how bothered I was with that intoxicating scent of hers SHE GAVE ME AN ANSWER! But why the hell was she sorry, having all these thoughts running around in my head I had no idea I ended up at the WARD where Sharafat babba had passed away, I drew the curtains away and saw HER. She seemed as though she was sleeping, she was sitting down with her hands on her lap, her chunni off her head, she looked peaceful. She indeed was asleep, I looked on her, thought of all the pain she was carrying inside her, how cruel life was to her, how at such a young age she was way wiser than many of us combined together, she was a beautiful soul inside out.
I thought for a second I should go next to her and sit down, let her put her burden on my shoulders and sleep but then the thought of how our meeting had ended in the afternoon came rushing to my mind and I went out of that area, drew the curtains on, sat on the bench right outside. Waiting for her to wake up, to be the first person she sees and inform her about Khajista. As I kept waiting, I did not know when the hours passed and it was almost morning, I kept thinking of all that we both had gone through and what it must be like for a young girl like Zobia to have faced all those hurdles alone, literally, in this world.
It was almost dawn, I got up and thought should wake her up and inform her of Khajista's state as she would also be opening her eyes soon. I saw her, she was still in the same position, sitting and asleep, or was she. I got worried, I hurriedly went & sat next to her, shook her a little but her hands slipped off her lap, her head fell from its earlier erect posture and her body with it, she had fainted! All these hours I thought she was asleep when in actuality she had passed out! No Zobia you do not get to go away like this. No...
I picked her up in my arms, laid her down on the bed next to her, rang for the emergency code, started putting in the IV and the rest was a haze, I did not how I did what I did, again the years of practice had taken over and I was lost. I was a robot again, Dr. Shehroze came running along with Dr. Haroon and saw my trembling hands, he told me to go wait outside but I said no, he held my hands which were trembling very badly by now and just gave me a look & said 'JUST GO, WE GOT THIS, SHE WILL BE FINE'. With that I left her, lying there unconscious and unaware to the storm that was ranging inside of me.
I went and sat outside where I was stupidly sitting the whole time yesterday thinking she was asleep inside, I went and sat there defeated and praying to god to save her, to let her be alright, to let god know I could not function as a human being without her. He has to listen to me, I can not lose her too. With that her words came running back to me from earlier, when she told me to save Khajista 'YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER, I CANNOT LOSE HER TOO', who had Zobia lost so tragically in the past, her parents had passed away but the way she told me to save khajista was something else, she meant it as a warning, warning of the impending doom that would implode on her if she lost Khajista.
Zobia why are you still a mystery to me, why did you not make me a part of your story, why did you become my everything and in return asked for nothing, I kept thinking these thoughts when the Dr. Shehroze came to me and said 'it's nothing, just exhaustion, she is pretty week, looks like she has not been eating well, she passed out due to fatigue, everything else if ok, she would wake up in a few hours, stay with her if you want too, I will inform your house and Dr. Asfandyar, take the day off'. He was about to leave having said all this before he could turn I hugged him and thanked him, he patted me on my back, smiled, turned around and left.
I went and sat next to her, inside, drew the curtains on, I just wanted to be alone with her, I sent a msg to Gaiti Bhabhi informing her of what had happened, to not worry about zobia and me as I was fine and taking care of her. I just sat there looking at her, all the while I was crying I had no idea, my eyes started getting drowsy because they were tired of all the tears, I moved a bit closer to her, held her still hand which was warm now, she was alright, I thanked god again and again. I was about to close my eyes for a bit when I heard a small whimper, I thought it was me but then it happened again, I opened my eyes, fully alert now and looked at her, she was moving her head and was saying something, I moved closer and bend down, trying my best to listen to what she was saying.
Zobia 'appi, ammi ko na mare na, please! Bhabhi mein kaha jaongi mujhe ghar se mat nikale na' she was begging in her sleep, saying all this while I was looking at her sleeping yet hurt form with hurt, shock & tears in my eyes.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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